Your Internet Boyfriends

#91 Andrew Scott Spits on Mark

Thu, 29 Oct 2026 05:00:00 -0000

Denis orders Pizza Hut at 2am and gets scammed, and Mark explains what a U-Haul lesbian is.

After the break, Denis and Mark get into Andrew Scott's spitting scene in It Gets Worse, the "right in front of my salad" meme, and Denis's doomsday kit (three days of water and a wind-up radio).

Also this week: sun lamps and porridge, tipping in the rain, the sexy Halloween cats and the pantomime stars who aren't really there.

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#90 Help Stepbro, We're Banned

Thu, 22 Oct 2026 04:00:00 -0000

The new UK porn law lands in two weeks, and Denis and Mark need answers: what happens to stepbro, and is "daddy" still allowed?

Meanwhile, Mark got his Botox topped up and has been banned from blow dries (and riding), and Denis finally watches Sex and the City for the first time.

Also this week: Tim Tams and Nigella's new Bake Off gig, which biscuits are gay (a Wagon Wheel is a lesbian), Dorothy's, the new lesbian bar, and its comment section, the olive scene and the old liquor room and the Wicked video everyone remembers.

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#89 What is Locktober?

Thu, 15 Oct 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Denis leaves Lisa at the back of a Ryanair flight, shares his foolproof trick for the seat lottery and finds out what lives under the seats on the dirtiest plane in Ireland.

Meanwhile, Mark heads to Dublin for a big national media moment that may or may not survive the edit.

Also this week: why voice notes should be a jailable offence, A complaint from Anthony, no Nut November and the NoFap superpowers, the YIB inbox receives its first piece and what on earth is Locktober?.

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#88 Mark Tries to Get Denis Into a Thong

Thu, 08 Oct 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Fresh from the live show, the boys thank the fans who flew in from Cork, and Denis tries to retire his automatic handshake.

Meanwhile, Mark finally got a TV licence, just in time for his first ever episode of Celebrity Traitors. Plus, Tom Ford is sending men down the runway in thongs, and Mark tries to talk Denis into giving one a go.

Also this week: Denis's three razors and the rarest plug on earth, space gays vs over-it gays, no hot water at Denis's, the neighbour who carried a turkey up the road and Miso's new box.

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#87 Would You Go to a Naked Barber?

Thu, 01 Oct 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Mark spends a break from his tours eating IKEA meatballs, stumbles into a Tom Holland lookalike competition in Soho Square and brings news of an East London celebrity barber who now cuts hair with no clothes on.

Meanwhile, Denis's hairdresser flat out refuses to cut his hair, and he reads Mark Dolly Alderton's reasons to have a boyfriend.

Also this week: tonight's live show (a dishy chef, a grand piano and a surprise number), Denis's diesel car, what fancy dress actually does it for people, Halloween costume disasters, from Florence and the Machine to a nun and coming out and Gen Z.

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#86 Mark and Denis Party in the Bushes

Thu, 24 Sep 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Denis discovers Troye Sivan, the boys return from their big day out with the London beavers and Mark receives possibly the most important celebrity follow of his career.

Also this week: the surprisingly complicated sex lives of bats, Mark nearly causing a cycling accident, Bosco, gay dating advice and first-date escape plans.

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#85 Mark causes a divorce at the health spa

Thu, 17 Sep 2026 04:05:00 -0000

Denis returns from Turkey with tales of extortionate airport prices and a boat trip where one particularly confident woman made it very difficult for him to concentrate on the scenery.

Meanwhile, Mark is back from Japan with presents for Denis and reveals that he accidentally caused the downfall of a lovely couple in the health spa.

Also this week: gay names, Turkey's £23 Big Mac, Instagram noses, holiday proposals and rich older ladies.

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#84 Denis brings photographic evidence

Thu, 10 Sep 2026 04:00:00 -0000

A few weeks ago, Denis told Mark three completely unbelievable stories and was accused of making the whole thing up. This week, he returns with photographic evidence and unfortunately for Mark, the stag do story was very, very real.

Meanwhile, Mark discusses why some of the gays just can't bring themselves to be happy for Tom Daley.

Also this week: meeting listeners in the wild, straight people at the seaside, guest bedroom sleep tests and lying on the floor.

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#83 Does it really taste like avocado?

Thu, 03 Sep 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Denis has had enough of London's questionable summer hygiene and thinks it's time we all started showering properly. Meanwhile, Mark sets up a nice couple with two big American bears.

Also this week: hugging your colleagues, Mark leaving his big boy job, holiday couples making friends, Turkish party buses and speed-dating success stories.

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#82 Watching the Solar Eclipse with the gays

Thu, 27 Aug 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Denis has a theory that Mark chooses his men seasonally: suave international guests and lighter pieces for summer, before returning to something a little sturdier and cuddlier for winter.

Meanwhile, after more than a year immersed in the community, Denis has some notes for the gays.

Also this week: Mark's trip to Japan, BIG beaver update, watching the eclipse with the gays, the horrors of British gardens and Denis painting little men.

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#81 Mark gets a nosebleed at the worst possible time

Thu, 20 Aug 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Mark suffers a nosebleed while relaxing with a friend in his bed. Meanwhile, Denis meets one of the most famous celebrities on planet earth before nearly getting himself cancelled talking about Furries.

Also this week: luscious locks, chicken pumpers, buses keeling over, hotel shenanigans and 24 Hours in A&E.

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#80 Mark dips his toes into bi-sexuality

Thu, 13 Aug 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Due to a recent surge in straight women fancying Mark, he starts wondering if bisexuality might finally be on the cards. Meanwhile, Denis is openly advertising for a wealthy sugar daddy to bankroll the podcast, after sharing three absolutely unbelievable stories that leave Mark convinced he's making the whole thing up.

Also this week: apple crumble, beavers in London, going to Japan, stag dos and ring bearers.

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#79 Mark and Denis Host Gay Speed Dating

Thu, 06 Aug 2026 07:58:00 -0000

Mark and Denis spill the beans on their sell out gay speed dating night, which ended in romances, sleepovers and shenanigans under a table. Actually lots of shenanigans under lots of tables. Denis contemplates everything.

Also this week: booths, Mark's shuttle bus service, A big one in the toilets, straight man jealousy and A licence to operate big machinery.

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#78 Mick the Fiddler - local character or criminal?

Thu, 30 Jul 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Denis and Mark talk about the local Irish characters that once ruled their towns. Oh, and Mark has a new handbag and he's absolutely thrilled about it.

Also this week: barbs' retirement, Michael Tierney, the Bumblebee, Mark's ghost tour days and nosebleeds and geese.

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#77 In defence of Madonna and Denis' near death experience

Thu, 23 Jul 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Was the World Cup halftime show a mass hallucination? Unfortunately not, and this week the boys pick it apart while Mark puts up a stalwart defence of his queen, her highness, Madonna. Also, Denis nearly died.

Also this week: traffic reports, dormer houses, cleaning windowsills, drinking diesel and limescale remover.

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#76 Explosive diarrhea has hit the community

Thu, 16 Jul 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Mark and Denis talk about the outbreak of explosive diarrhea running through the community in London. What is it? What causes it? And how did Denis come up with his drag name from it?

The boys also court controversy discussing when it's time for a goth to hang up their big black boots.

Also this week: ring tattoos and the long jump, fisting classes, Daz washing powder, Coco Shells before bed and Mexican cereal.

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#75 Denis' kinky ice trick and Mark up on the roof at Howl

Thu, 09 Jul 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Denis opens this week's episode with a chilling story about ice cubes and a straight man. Meanwhile, Mark tries to evade all questions about his Pride escapades and men sliding around the floor.

Also this week: scarves around things, Gimme More gay awakening, wheelie Twinks, is Denis AI? and the gusher.

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#74 The heat and Mark's big secret finally revealed

Thu, 02 Jul 2026 04:00:00 -0000

This week the podcast is literally heating up, so Denis asks Mark at what temperature two grown men simply become too hot for a bed. All before Denis forces Mark to reveal a shocking secret.

Also this week: spitting on croissants, choosing bananas, Denis' assets blocking the wind, sitting in a chair doing absolutely nothing and dressing gowns, grapes and cheese.

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#73 Your Internet Boyfriends Go Deep... on Tip Toe Part 2

Thu, 25 Jun 2026 04:00:00 -0000

In the second part of Your Internet Boyfriends Go Deep… On Tip Toe, Denis and Mark share personal experiences and address the part social media plays in dividing communities. They also tackle Tip Toe's horrifying final episode, examining how it's not as "unrealistic" as some might think.

Switchboard: 0800 0119100 and hello@switchboard.lgbt
Samaritans: 116 123
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Galop: 0800 999 5428 and help@galop.org.uk

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#73 Your Internet Boyfriends Go Deep... on Tip Toe Part 1

Thu, 25 Jun 2026 04:00:00 -0000

In this first episode, Denis and Mark share their reactions to the series, the context the show is set against and their favourite moments. They also introduce their special guest, friend and journalist Alastair James, and touch on the negative responses to Tip Toe.

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#72 Mark’s Tattoo was mistaken for something VERY offensive

Thu, 18 Jun 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Mark reveals how a tattoo in a very intimate location was briefly mistaken for something incredibly offensive. Meanwhile, Denis completely loses it when Mark admits the one name he'd most like to call out passionately in the middle of the night.

As if that wasn't enough, the boys realise they've forgotten to record 25 minutes of the podcast and attempt a frantic reconstruction.

Also this week: the World Cup, board games, cleaning out wardrobes and social media bans.

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#71 Denis files for Divorce and Mark explains the Art of Flipping

Thu, 11 Jun 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Mark takes on heterosexual interior design, while Denis accidentally overhears a private conversation between Mark and producer Dec about "flipping" that raises more questions than answers.

Also this week: chemsex panel discussions, taking drugs and dancing, an unexpectedly romantic afternoon, shopping at Next and pussy willow.

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#70 Mark and Denis organise a kissing event for Pride

Thu, 04 Jun 2026 04:00:00 -0000

To celebrate Pride, Mark and Denis organise a speed-kissing event and create a parade float lined with straight men for Denis. Naturally, the conversation then takes an unexpected turn towards clubs with some very unusual rules.

Also this week: Arsenal winning the league, men being starved for compliments, listeners confusing who is the straight one and Handsome priests in Malta.

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#69 Mark cleans his house on TV show Domestic Divas

Thu, 28 May 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Mark reveals he actually made his TV debut on Domestic Divas, where they forced him to mess up his house then clean it again. Meanwhile, Denis forgets to put on his shoes, eats three whole mackerel and is craving the juice from a tin of pears. He might be pregnant.

Also this week: Denis' odd socks, watching a man sleep, up and down, trans masc climbing rocks, A dentist giving Mark thrush and hair turning into an old Nana.

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#68 Freaky Friday - If We Swapped Bodies For 24 Hours…

Thu, 21 May 2026 04:00:00 -0000

The boys ask the question nobody was prepared for: what would Denis do if he woke up in Mark's body for 24 hours… and what exactly would Mark do if he was inside Denis for a day?

Also this week: Percy Pigs, the number 69, eating pizza in bed, tracking loved ones and weird relationship habits.

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#67 Local elections and Denis learns a new (shocking) term

Thu, 14 May 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Denis discovers a term from the gay community that completely sends him into a spiral. Meanwhile, Mark accidentally reveals that his dating radius is suspiciously similar to his daily commute.

Also this week: their sold out gig (again!), the Mark-er-loo line, women leaving and coming back to Denis, Denis living his best straight life and the local election results and the future ahead.

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#66 Madonna says no phones and Denis has an injury

Thu, 07 May 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Denis reveals the painful truth behind his injured ahem, while Mark reminisces about growing up as a deeply theatrical Irish child performing Avril Lavigne songs for unsuspecting neighbours. A very cranky episode.

Also this week: straight dads in the 90s, babysitting an 8-month-old, toy tractors and Big Big Loader nostalgia, school crushes and transition year lads and Madonna telling the gays to get off their phones.

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#65 The London Marathon and Why Do Women Wear Tights?

Thu, 30 Apr 2026 04:00:00 -0000

A gay man and a straight man discuss why women wear tights and confidently get it all wrong. Mark also brings up his strong opinions on the London Marathon, while Denis tries to breathe some positive vibes into the studio before taking aim at Irish BBQ culture.

Also this week: poking out through fishnets, loos in London, what the heat does to people and sitting on grass in the summer.

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#64 Ireland AM and Parading Denis around Dublin

Thu, 23 Apr 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Mark and Denis make their television debut on Ireland AM, where they meet their gay straight match Alan and Tommy. Then Mark parades Denis through Dublin on an extensive tour of the hot spots of Mark's life.

Also this week: Lisa nearly running off with another man, raw dogging it on a bus to Donegal, breakfast with colleagues and hotel irons ruining your clothes.

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#63 Our First TV Appearance - Plus Thicc Teas and Tractors

Thu, 16 Apr 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Mark may have caused absolute commotion in corporate Dublin after performing at an LGBT work lunch and accidentally slipping into material that was definitely not built for a daytime setting. Meanwhile, the lads talk about their debut TV appearance.

Also this week: why bourbon creams are the superior biscuit, does anyone know what a thick tea is?, mothers and fame, tractors, farmers and sexy builder pants and Denis's upcoming trip to Turkey.

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#62 Denis Goes to a Gay Beach

Thu, 09 Apr 2026 04:00:00 -0000

While at a wedding, Denis takes a detour to a lovely beach in Sitges where clothes are optional. Meanwhile, Mark receives some disturbing messages from superfans.

Also this week: vegan weddings, girlfriend meeting the friends, birdwatching and double jointed thumbs.

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#61 Held Together in A&E and Sharing a Dada

Thu, 02 Apr 2026 04:00:00 -0000

Things spiral immediately from sleep deprivation to one of the most unhinged stories the podcast has ever told.

Mark is running on three hours of sleep after a chaotic night out (cheers to the clocks going forward), dragging himself through work while barely functioning. And then… the story.

Also this week: Mark's Strava scandal (5Ks that were closer to 2K), internet attention and unanswered DMs and fans turning feral.

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#60 Mark and Denis Nearly Breakup

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 05:02:00 -0000

It finally happened. Mark nearly ruined the podcast by pushing it too far. He showed Denis something by accident... if only Denis' girlfriend wasn't sitting in the chair next to them when it happened. You're lucky there is an episode this week.

Also this week: the Blue Pill, naked Butlers, pot Noodles in Ubers and pink suitcases.

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Trailer

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 08:31:00 -0000

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#59 Jessie Buckley and The Manosphere - Plus Big News

Thu, 19 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0000

Mark and Denis are moving studio and have big news to go with it. They're pregnant. No, not yet, but they have been scooped up by a big podcast network, so it's all go and it's tipping Mark over the edge.

Also this week: the Manosphere, Jessie Buckley's big win and the great Easter egg debate.

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#58 Mam Comes to Visit and the Prison Sauna

Thu, 12 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0000

After an incredible live show, Denis' family arrives in London for multiple dinners, menu complaints and chicken nuggets diplomacy, and Mark finally meets Denis' mother (who may now prefer him to Denis). Meanwhile, Mark escapes to Madrid for tapas and drag shows, before getting stranded at Tottenham Hale in the middle of the night.

Also this week: sunglasses debates and Gen Z fashion, Pokémon nostalgia, why straight women run gay nightlife logistics and the strange joy of making crafts as a child.

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#57 Fake Tan Drips, Glass Toilets & Punch The Monkey

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Mark attempts a pre-show glow-up, only for a leaky fake tan bottle to leave him looking like he's been splashed with brown sauce. Then it's a heated debate: why does Denis have to admire every hot man Mark points out, when Mark won't engage when Denis clocks a hot woman?

Also this week: electric taxis making them sick, dragging bags across London for shows, classic FM as emergency calming music, hotel rooms with glass bathrooms and keeping some mystery alive.

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#56 Big Balls and The Matrix

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 06:00:00 -0000

The boys open with a completely unnecessary discussion about big balls (are they a thing? who's seeking them out? why is aroma involved?) and somehow end up in Belfast, inside a queer vintage shop.

Also this week: wet-look hair and Brylcreem flashbacks, Mark's four-and-a-half-hour Gatwick disaster, A man chatting up Lisa mid-set, the Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and A Matrix conspiracy spiral.

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#55 Gay Housekeeping and Becoming a Horse

Thu, 19 Feb 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Mark keeps getting lost, first in a massive shop changing room, then in a clinic corridor while trying to manage the timing of a very important test sample. Meanwhile, Denis revisits old-school doctor visits that felt more like going into someone's sitting room.

Also this week: the man rebuilding a medieval castle over 28 years, gay housekeeping, sneaking out of changing rooms in socks, terrifying pub stories and London nightlife niches.

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#54 Bad Bunnies and Mark's First Date... with a Woman

Thu, 12 Feb 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Denis and Mark are fresh off a chaotic Brick Lane shopping trip involving vintage shops, tight-trouser debates, secret outfits and accidental flirting discounts.

Also this week: Red flags in dating, friendships and life, Valentine's Day pressure, teenage Valentine's spending, the boom-time Irish restaurant era and the Brick Lane bagel shop survival guide.

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#53 An Irish Stag Party and Men Paying to be Stepped On

Thu, 05 Feb 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Denis is back from a stag in Killarney after drinking like a Victorian dock worker, and accidentally lied about a betting win that led to 12 men celebrating money that did not exist. Meanwhile, Mark hosted his school friends in London with military-level scheduling.

Also this week: stag weekends vs hens weekends, airport pints at 6am, scratch cards, secret shoppers and fake French accents, being spotted by podcast listeners and the internet discovering financial domination.

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#52 Denis Goes on a Big Gay Night Out

Thu, 29 Jan 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Denis and Mark are riding a sudden wave of female listeners and sold-out live shows, plus the terrifying news that Denis' mother is flying in with the energy of 30 to 40 twinks in one bright pink coat.

Also this week: planning a very glamorous live show, Denis' first proper night surrounded by London gays, why Mark got zero attention and Denis did not, pelvic tilt and straight men entering gay bathrooms.

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#51 Heated Rivalry and Buying Tampons - w Yshee Black

Thu, 22 Jan 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Denis buys bread, bananas and a massive packet of Tampax as his roommate and girlfriend sync up. Meanwhile, Mark has to deal with a thief in the lobby stealing everyone's ASOS deliveries. Then the boys are joined by Yshee Black: actress, comedian, drag superstar and part-time two-stepper.

Also this week: Jessie Buckley's Golden Globe, heated Rivalry, drag couples and dressing rooms and Yshee Black on Come Dine With Me.

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#50 Spanking Timothée Chalamet and a Dublin House Party

Thu, 15 Jan 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Mark is back from a Dublin house party incident that could genuinely land him in RSVP, involving a global superstar, their partner and Mark being a bit too flirty to the wrong person in the kitchen.

Also this week: butter in the cupboard, ramekins, M&S "Picky Bits" and a full London brain, Brie belly and clogged gutters and eating 100 mussels so your girlfriend doesn't cry.

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#49 Bottomless Brunch and Holidays for Gays

Thu, 08 Jan 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Denis is heading to a bottomless brunch with 15 women, full Prosecco confidence and a guaranteed emotional breakdown by 9pm. Meanwhile, Mark is worrying about his eyes and explaining why January means overdrafts, tax returns and mild despair.

Also this week: Nollaig na mBan / Women's Christmas, strange Irish New Year traditions, screenshotting a plumber by accident, de-gaying on holiday and Barcelona, New York and Petra plans.

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#48 Auld Lang Syne and Flirting with Couples

Thu, 01 Jan 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Denis and Mark ring in the year by discussing Denis' lifelong hatred of Auld Lang Syne and why it makes him feel weirdly emotional.

Also this week: new Year's in smoky Irish pubs, Nash's red lemonade and the Labrador under the bar, Mark's days in Fanny O'Dee's, A very confusing New Year's kiss and moneyed small-town couples.

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#47 Christmas Day with the Boys

Thu, 25 Dec 2025 06:00:00 -0000

It's Christmas Day and you're spending it with your Internet Boyfriends. Denis and Mark are wrapped up warm, talking all things festive and familiar.

Also this week: Mark's childhood church organist era, midnight mass timing panic, Denis' burnt-turkey Christmases, the world's most uncomfortable holiday meal and Santy snacks (Guinness, obviously).

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#46 Hot Tub Regrets & The Hottest Vicar in England

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Mark and Denis talk about a glamorous vicar who's apparently filling pews wherever she goes. Mark revisits his former life as a church organist, while Denis goes undercover at a Protestant christening and reports back on hymns and why Catholics absolutely refuse to sing together.

Also this week: Botox, hybrid rock stars, bouldering, roller derby and niche sports, Mark's Margate gig and A gang of twinks and an Airbnb hot tub.

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#45 Irish Family Meltdowns and Gay Cruises - w Joe Sutherland

Thu, 11 Dec 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Denis and Mark are joined by comedian and superstar-at-sea Joe Sutherland, fresh off a 12-day Atlantis cruise in Southeast Asia.

Also this week: "vanilla" gay cruises vs hardcore swingers ships, mattress-filled venues in international waters, men in harnesses and kilts cheering Patti LuPone, Denis' Irish family chaos and Mark's red nose saga and Specsavers meltdown.

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#44 Reversing in Nightclubs and World Aids Day

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Denis and Mark kick things off with a very serious investigation into the gutters (yes, those ones), and why Mark is suddenly wearing a very small Manchester United jersey. Meanwhile, Denis' roommate brings home a real Christmas tree that looks "two feet tall and four feet wide".

Also this week: the anatomy of thirst traps, the Christmas tree wars in Ennis, the tourist who insists Mark is British, A "one day a year" to tell someone to feck off and Denis' accidental street flirtation.

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#43 Mark's Hometown Has Been "Torn Asunder" - Plus Big Announcement

Thu, 27 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Mark and Denis reveal their biggest news yet: Your Internet Boyfriends are hosting a full live show at the Pleasance Theatre in London on March 5th, 2026, with cabaret bits, songs, dancing, kissing and a very secret special guest.

Also this week: Mark's "peekaboo T-shirt" styling hack, 2,000 fairy lights in Denis' flat, the "winter tonne", Mark's dramatic birthday routine and Shaggy, Korn and Mr. Boombastic.

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#42 Cinema Dates and Monkeys Stealing Phones - with JUNO BIRCH (Part II)

Thu, 20 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -0000

The iconic Juno Birch returns, and Denis tries to explain Ireland's sudden football glory to Mark, including Troy Parrott's hat-trick and a parrot in Dublin Zoo who's somehow part of the story. Meanwhile, George the cat is testing everyone's patience with attempted mouth-licking.

Also this week: monkeys stealing phones, is "boyfriend" officially lame?, office sexuality guessing games, pet gender etiquette and cat-sitting in a busy London neighbourhood.

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#41 Our Sims Confessions and Toothless Cyril - with JUNO BIRCH (Part I)

Thu, 13 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Denis and Mark are joined by their very first guest and Internet Girlfriend, the iconic Juno Birch, the pastel-alien queen known for her surreal drag, chaotic Sims playthroughs and lovingly unhinged YouTube universe.

Also this week: DragCon, booth-bitching and sticker sales, doll decapitations in San Francisco, Dina Martina and cabaret inspiration, how Irish crowds shout back and Sims addiction and 8-hour streams.

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#40 We Need to Talk About Lily Allen... and the £17 Chicken Scandal

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Denis accidentally witnesses a full arse on Bond Street, Mark sees two (planned) arses and there's a flirtation with two trendy Berlin lads. Then comes the shocking moment a £17 brunch serves them two sad fingernail-sized nuggets of "buttermilk chicken".

Also this week: kombucha that tastes like the hot press, sink swamps and knives-as-snacks, Christmas décor trauma and Toymaster flashbacks, the cycling blouse that sent Instagram feral and Lily Allen's new album.

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#39 We Accidentally Shoplifted from IKEA (ft. Catherine Connolly)

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Denis spots a Mark lookalike speeding through Brixton on a bizarre new mode of transport, sparking a mild identity crisis. Meanwhile, the real Mark ends up being apprehended by IKEA security for some alleged shoplifting.

Also this week: Ireland's newly elected president Catherine Connolly, A newly purchased red mask, finding the right birthday gift and that scene from Scary Movie.

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#38 The Involuntary Pinky Situation and Tanning Disaster

Thu, 23 Oct 2025 05:00:00 -0000

Denis has an involuntary pinky situation (with Birdcage flashbacks), and there's a disastrously timed naked moment involving a cat cone and a very bright kitchen light. Plus, Denis reports back from the Frieze Art Fair, complete with massive coats and the surprising price of a glass of rosé.

Also this week: hair, beard, brow and tan maintenance, the Barcelona/Ballinasloe hand-colour issue, George the indoor cat makes a reappearance, password overload and tech irritations and facial recognition masks.

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#37 Behind the Scenes at the Attitude Awards

Thu, 16 Oct 2025 05:00:00 -0000

Mark dishes the goss from the Attitude Awards, while Denis bumps into huge celebrities in London. Then the lads check in with their international boyfriend Jonny B, fresh from his undercover trip to an Irish football match.

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#36 Talking about Our Feelings

Wed, 08 Oct 2025 23:00:00 -0000

Recording from Shorty's Barbershop in Hackney for World Mental Health Day, Denis relives the agony of barbers who never listened ("leave it long on top" apparently meant nothing). Meanwhile, Mark opens up about the rumours that he was secretly wearing a wig.

Also this week: the man with the perfect, unshakeable hairpiece, tablets that make your hair grow back (not medical advice, babes), Mark's Soho "affair" at the corner of a sex shop, why messaging for weeks is hell and Denis' accidental marital crisis over four walnuts.

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#35 Irish Weddings Are Getting Out of Hand (and the Embassy Sausage Story)

Thu, 02 Oct 2025 05:00:00 -0000

Mark and Denis eat cocktail sausages in the Irish Embassy, while Mark admits to stealing another man's top.

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#34 Meeting a Critic in the Steam Room

Thu, 25 Sep 2025 05:00:00 -0000

Denis arrives in the studio half-alive after a night of no sleep and a phone that keeps rebooting itself like it's trying to escape him. He tries to explain Supermarket Sweep, fails, then blindsides Mark with a tourism leaflet boldly calling Ennis the boutique capital of Ireland.

Also this week: A meal deal that never got eaten, Mark's critique drama in the spa, A listener convinced Mark is "being used", fifty men on a stag doing absolutely nothing and why mixed hens are always more fun.

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#33 What we Smelled like as Teenagers

Thu, 18 Sep 2025 05:00:00 -0000

Mark needs Denis' help interpreting a dream, while Denis runs through all the smells and perfumes of his teenage years.

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#32 Clubbing and Gargling in Berlin

Thu, 11 Sep 2025 05:00:00 -0000

Denis' mind is blown when he finds out what they do in Berlin clubs. Meanwhile, Mark laughs so much he forgets to record the intro.

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#31 Back to School

Thu, 04 Sep 2025 05:00:00 -0000

Mark and Denis welcome in the autumn by reliving their school days and Mark's... emo phase.

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#30 Tellytubbies in a Nightclub

Thu, 28 Aug 2025 05:00:00 -0000

Mark and Denis reach episode 30 and spend most of it talking about the Teletubbies in nightclubs.

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#29 Taxi Driver Serial Killer

Thu, 21 Aug 2025 05:00:00 -0000

Mark tells all about a saucy cultural event, while Denis reveals his close call with a taxi driver.

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#28 Denis Goes to LA

Thu, 14 Aug 2025 05:00:00 -0000

A jetlagged Denis returns from his big fancy trip to LA. Meanwhile, Mark gets the results of some tests.

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#27 Cruising Lessons for a Straight Man

Thu, 07 Aug 2025 05:00:00 -0000

Mark coaches Denis on how to cruise the streets of London, while Denis encounters a very crotchy and very toothless waiter.

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#26 Short Shorts are taking over London

Thu, 31 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -0000

Mark reveals a secret Your Internet Boyfriends photoshoot, while Denis discusses lying in bed with Mark for a couple of hours.

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#25 Meeting the Parents - All of the Parents

Thu, 24 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -0000

Denis reveals the chaotic experience of Lisa meeting his family. Meanwhile, Mark gives Denis tips on how to spice things up in the bedroom. Yes, in the same episode.

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#24 A Continental Romance

Thu, 17 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -0000

Mark has a celebrity encounter in a sauna, while Denis finds an ingenious way of getting much needed antibiotics.

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#23 An Unexpected Guest Joins the Podcast

Thu, 10 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -0000

A podcast first as Denis gets attacked by a beast in the studio and Mark hangs out with the Irish ambassador at Pride London.

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#22 Planning, packing and panicking

Thu, 03 Jul 2025 04:00:00 -0000

The time has finally come: this week, the lads are off on a holiday. Mark gives tips on mingling with the locals, and Denis relives his family caravan days. Plus, the boys hear some of your holiday stories!

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#21 Summer dread, sweaty bellies and not-so-Fantastic Mr. Fox

Thu, 26 Jun 2025 04:00:00 -0000

This week, Mark's all dressed up for a special meeting, and Denis has to give Lisa some bad news.

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#20 Do I fancy him or just like his jumper?

Thu, 19 Jun 2025 04:00:00 -0000

Mark arrives tanned, moisturised and proudly showing his knees, while Denis questions whether the glow is "Ballybunion or just a bit dirty". Then the big question: do either of them actually have a type? Mark insists he's "pick-and-mix" and Denis swears he doesn't have one.

Also this week: the great moustache divide, admiring someone vs wanting to look like them, children's birthday parties in Soho House, beige-aesthetic clowns and white bouncy castles and wild parenting choices.

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#19 Denis Goes Swimming and Mark Gets Robbed

Thu, 12 Jun 2025 04:00:00 -0000

Mark finds out he has actual stalkers watching him in public buildings ("I can see you"), while Denis fields increasingly unhinged Instagram DMs. Together they try to understand why people apply full glam on the 8:15 bus.

Also this week: awkward Grindr encounters, the Dalston Junction traffic apocalypse, London service culture and glacial cafés, the restaurant manager's iPad screensaver and Denis's first trip to a London lido.

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#18 Freebies, Woke roofs and saving the bees

Thu, 05 Jun 2025 04:00:00 -0000

This week, Denis is crocked with a back injury and Mark is robbed by a pigeon. Plus, the lads decide it's time to start saving the planet... one bee at a time.

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#17 Bread, Brussels and bellbottoms

Thu, 29 May 2025 04:00:00 -0000

This week, the lads chat about Mark's trip to Belgium and Denis searches in vain for the perfect (or indeed, any) pair of jeans.

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#16 I Kissed A Boy And It Was Fine

Thu, 22 May 2025 04:00:00 -0000

This week, Denis finds some empathy for millionaires and Mark is hungry for fame no matter what it takes (but mainly by getting on I Kissed a Boy). Plus, the lads reveal their oldest lovers.

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#15 Denis Visits a Back Alley Doctor

Thu, 15 May 2025 04:00:00 -0000

This week, Mark is back from Fringe with some recommendations and Denis accidentally joins the cast of Springwatch. Plus, the lads chat about Hadrian's twenty twinks.

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#14 Cooking, capes and communion

Thu, 08 May 2025 04:00:00 -0000

The lads are up at the crack of dawn (9am) this week, with new haircuts in tow. Mark takes Denis's advice on meal prep and Denis has a tribute for the world's (formerly) oldest woman.

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#13 The Dishwasher Near-Death Experience

Thu, 01 May 2025 04:00:00 -0000

Mark arrives glowing with five layers of suncream after climbing 111 tube-station steps, while Denis recounts the horror of being fully stuck in a lift. Then Denis spends six and a half hours trying to help his dad with online banking.

Also this week: country undertakers who moonlight as council workers, the wild things people say at funerals, Lisa's Final Destination fall, nieces visiting London and dodging the £160 London Eye queue.

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#12 The Birthday Disaster From Hell

Thu, 24 Apr 2025 04:00:00 -0000

What starts as a chat about birthdays and forest bathing becomes Mark revisiting his childhood obsession with Radio Kerry's late-night "Love Zone". Meanwhile, Denis shares one of the most awkward moments of his life: a restaurant bringing over a "Happy Anniversary" dessert he didn't order, four weeks into dating, and Denis eating the entire thing himself.

Also this week: Mark's week of sickness, snuffles and ginger shots, giving tours around Buckingham Palace, A second accidental birthday celebration, mint-choc cocktails and lip-syncing Americans.

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#11 Gays Behaving Badly (Again)

Thu, 17 Apr 2025 04:00:00 -0000

This week, the lads are reviewing some starkly different movies and Mark talks moustache maintenance.

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#10 Big New Studio and a Big Boot

Thu, 10 Apr 2025 04:00:00 -0000

Mark and Denis settle into their very blue new studio. Denis arrives with big news: Lisa finally got the X-ray and came out wearing the full medical boot. Meanwhile, Mark reveals he once kept hospital crutches under his bed "for attention".

Also this week: childhood injuries and cast envy, meeting listeners in the wild, crumbs on the tube, Mark's pacemaker, "a little tin of mints under the skin" and Denis planning his first romantic trip to Ireland.

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#9 Naked Gym Days

Thu, 03 Apr 2025 04:00:00 -0000

Denis arrives breathless after Lisa catastrophically injures her foot trying to hang a lampshade, and somehow still insists on going to work. Meanwhile, Mark shares his NHS survival hacks, and the lads debate whether A&E is ever truly worth the eight-hour wait.

Also this week: the great Homeware Heist of Dunelm, train-tapping panic and facial-recognition vans, Denis's new gym and its "Thursday Night Social Club", Mark's guide to the gay sauna ecosystem and naked yoga, naked trivia, naked board games.

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#8 Ireland’s Youngest Church Organist

Thu, 27 Mar 2025 05:00:00 -0000

Denis arrives giddy, sun-damp and wearing linen trousers he absolutely regrets. Meanwhile, Mark attempts to process the rage he now feels toward wealthy London toddlers who casually order ramen, from fancy prams to £10 baby cheesecakes.

Also this week: emergency moisturiser and the fear of lightning, Denis's moving day meltdown, the Huel era and liquid diets, romances in Ennis and a flood of Clare listeners and the legendary Doohans.

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#7 The Health Benefits and Perks of Pineapples

Thu, 20 Mar 2025 05:00:00 -0000

This week, the lads chat about Mark's love of Japan, explore the very innocent health benefits of pineapples and mull a run for President of Ireland.

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#6 Dark Rooms Explained

Thu, 13 Mar 2025 05:00:00 -0000

What starts as a simple chat about the warm weekend turns into Denis discovering the logistics of dark rooms. Mark explains bin bags, nudity and cloakroom wristbands, and why Denis would absolutely panic if someone lost his bag.

Also this week: the Paddy Daddy t-shirt that's definitely too small, balloon-jeans diplomacy, girls' holidays, London's sudden summer thirst and the world's largest cat.

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#5 STI Scares & The Next Pope

Thu, 06 Mar 2025 10:16:00 -0000

Denis dives into his after-school habits (entire packets of chocolate digestives dipped in milk), orange fish, water stew and a mother who believed cooking was "part recipe, part magic". Meanwhile, Mark has a week-long medical saga: a stye, arm physio, a sexual health scare and a very painful bum injection.

Also this week: Denis destroying a brand-new chair with French toast, A gigantic night-time cat who sounds like a burglar, mushroom sandwiches and Pokémon marathons, Dunnes Stores nostalgia and guessing the next Pope.

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#4 Share Your Wheelie Bin Not Your Problems

Thu, 27 Feb 2025 08:03:00 -0000

Denis survives the worst job of his life, emptying a year-old mystery soup from the shared wheelie bin. Meanwhile, Mark explains how the Griffins next door have turned bin night into a diplomatic summit.

Also this week: being recognised in a toilet (and not for the podcast), chatting to strangers at urinals, shifting behind the cinema, house-hunting in London and Mark's many jobs, from cabaret to gay ghost tours.

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#3 The Gay Economy Explained

Thu, 20 Feb 2025 07:44:00 -0000

Denis has started a brand-new skincare regime (four bottles, one eye serum and zero idea what anything does). Meanwhile, Mark reveals his former life getting discounted Botox from a mysterious gay friend named "George", and together they unpack the gay economy: plumbers, haircuts, taxis and the occasional cup of tea.

Also this week: how to apply eye cream without ruining your face, hyaluronic acid shoulder treatments, the eternal Irish fear of admitting you moisturise, tanning beds vs spray tans and cocoa butter.

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#2 Nightmare London Flat Viewing & Mark’s Trip Home

Thu, 13 Feb 2025 03:06:00 -0000

Denis has entered his villain era, and it all begins with a truly cursed London flat viewing: broken boiler, two families living inside, building works overhead and a handwritten note confirming a building-wide cockroach infestation. Nineteen. Hundred. Pounds.

Meanwhile, Mark has been back home in County Clare doing gigs and touring storm damage with his parents.

Also this week: the new Boyzone documentary, shifting your friends out of boredom, whether Denis is secretly (or openly) a prick, gas vs electric cookers and the glory days of Queens nightclub.

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#1 Our 15-Minute Photoshoot Disaster (and Why Denis Ended Up in a Tank Top)

Thu, 13 Feb 2025 02:13:00 -0000

What starts as a cute weekly catch-up quickly turns into a chaotic 15-minute London photoshoot, Mark's psychological warfare to get Denis into a tank top and 547 unusable photos.

Also this week: condoms and NHS magic tablets, teenage shame buying pregnancy tests in Limerick, Eurovision (pre-Samantha Mumba injustice), ho-stone burning and fake earrings.

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