None of My Business

“Approaching Dicks With Curiosity” With Amy Silverberg

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 10:00:00 -0000

Why do toxicity and good sex seem to go together? Asking for a friend.

This week, the astonishing writer and comedian Amy Silverberg joins Sophia and Kelsey to read as Sawyer*, a 33-year-old who grew up Christian and "literally so horny" but still manages to have the same 24 hours in a day as Beyoncé. They've got stories that include a wildly shocking first time having penetrative sex, a very messy 10-year situationship, and how one's sexuality is always evolving if you stay open to new experiences—tap in for quite a journey.

*Not Sawyer’s real name, but definitely their real stories

Today’s episode includes …

00:22: Our guest: Amy Silverberg
00:58: Amy's business
10:35: Our business: “Sawyer”
13:48: First Things First: "I knew my mom was going to lecture me"
22:48: Ooh Baby Baby: "I was super in denial"
33:23: Worst Ex: "We just had amazing chemistry"
36:16: Cheater, Cheater: "I started to take our monogamy less seriously"
56:18: Best I Ever Had: "Guess I'm gay"
59:19: Craziest Sex Stories: "I was young and dumb"
1:01:40: Status Update: "I want to lean into having more queer sex"

Follow Amy on IG!
http://instagram.com/amysilverberg

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen
Guest: Amy Silverberg
Supervising producer: Justin Sayles
Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle
Video editing and production: Kayla Talley
Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle
Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris
Motion design: Skull Closet Studio
Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton
Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from ⁠http://premiumbeat.com⁠.

CONNECT
Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod
TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod
Sophia's Twitter: ⁠x.com/1followernodad
Sophia's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/sgbenoit⁠
Kelsey's TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen
Kelsey's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Breakdancing Through Divorce" With Lucy Grebin

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 10:00:00 -0000

The rumors are true: Everyone in the military is sleeping with each other.

This week, the hilarious comedian Lucy Grebin joins Sophia and Kelsey to read as Aurora*, a twice-married 23-year-old who served as a medic in the Army. She’s got stories that include a family of Napoleon Dynamites, peeing on a guy’s windshield, and mommy issues during sex—tune in for a wild ride.

*Not Aurora’s real name, but definitely her real stories

Today’s episode includes …

00:25: Our guest: Lucy Grebin
01:12: The inherent embarrassment of having a boyfriend
08:38: Our business: “Aurora”
09:59: First Things First: “I was big on abstinence”
16:28: Worst Ex: “Sex under the sergeant’s desk”
39:22: Crazy Train: “He starts screaming, ‘Mom!’”
51:04: Best I Ever Had: “We met in jail”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow Lucy on IG and TikTok!
https://www.instagram.com/lucygrebin/
https://www.tiktok.com/@lucygrebin

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen
Guest: Lucy Grebin
Supervising producer: Justin Sayles
Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle
Video editing and production: Kayla Talley
Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle
Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris
Motion design: Skull Closet Studio
Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton
Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from ⁠http://premiumbeat.com⁠.

CONNECT
Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod
⁠TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod
Sophia's Twitter: ⁠x.com/1followernodad
Sophia's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/sgbenoit⁠
Kelsey's TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen
Kelsey's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Stuck in the Mud" With Tyler Bender

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 10:00:00 -0000

Get ready, we’re going to ShipRocked.

This week, Sophia and Kelsey welcome Tyler Bender, the hilarious comedian and host of ‘Tyler’s Kitschen’! Tyler is reading as Lindsey*, a cool 35-year-old divorcèe who tells us all about her toxic first husband. Join in to hear tales that include a cruise ship hookup, a best friend betrayal, and the most cursed proposal you could ever imagine.

*Not Lindsey’s real name, but definitely her real stories

Today’s episode includes …

00:28: Our guest: Tyler Bender
1:41: Unhinged social media comments
05:34: Our business: “Lindsey”
08:58: First Things First: “We fucked all the time”
21:28: The One Who Got Away: “He refers to me as his ‘white whale’”
32:03: Worst Ex: “He was up past his waist in mud”
56:03: Best I Ever Had: “I love a choking situation”
58:49: Current Situation: “The Separation Squad”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow Tyler on IG and TikTok!
https://www.instagram.com/tylerbenderr/
https://www.tiktok.com/@tyler.benderr

Watch ‘Tyler’s Kitschen’ on YouTube!
https://www.youtube.com/@tylerbenderr

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen
Guest: Tyler Bender
Supervising producer: Justin Sayles
Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle
Video editing and production: Kayla Talley
Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle
Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris
Motion design: Skull Closet Studio
Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton
Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from ⁠http://premiumbeat.com⁠.

CONNECT
Instagram: ⁠http://instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod
TikTok: ⁠http://tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod
Sophia's Twitter: ⁠http://x.com/1followernodad
Sophia's Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/sgbenoit/?hl=en
Kelsey's TikTok: ⁠http://tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen
Kelsey's Instagram: ⁠http://instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Funniest One at the Gang Bang" With Justin Sayles

Tue, 24 Mar 2026 01:44:00 -0000

When planning group sex, don’t forget the snacks.

This week, Sophia and Kelsey are welcoming a very special guest: our producer, Justin Sayles! He gives us a glimpse at life behind the scenes of NOMB before reading as Natalie*, a free spirit who loves the single life and has never had her heart broken. She shares stories about dating men in open relationships, getting the ick from driving barefoot, and one fully clothed guy at a sex party. Tune in for a wild one!

*Not Natalie’s real name, but definitely her real stories.

Today’s episode includes …

00:25: Our guest: Justin Sayles
02:24: Debriefing with your partner about everyone’s business
07:54: Our business: “Natalie”
13:11: First Things First: “She’s a home-wrecker”
17:20: Worst Ex: “Can I disarm?”
26:55: Best I Ever Had: “I have five married boyfriends”
37:04: Three’s Company: “Are you ready to eat pussy?”
43:34: Crazy Train: “A spontaneous gang bang”
58:27: Fuck-It List: “I just say things, and they seem to happen”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen
Guest: Justin Sayles
Supervising producer: Justin Sayles
Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle
Video editing and production: Kayla Talley
Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle
Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris
Motion design: Skull Closet Studio
Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton
Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from ⁠http://premiumbeat.com⁠.

CONNECT
Instagram: http://⁠instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod
TikTok: http://⁠tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod
Sophia's Twitter: http://⁠x.com/1followernodad
Sophia's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/sgbenoit⁠
Kelsey's TikTok: http://⁠tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen
Kelsey's Instagram: http://⁠instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"The Romantic Boner" With Kevin T. Porter

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 10:00:00 -0000

Is it ever a good idea to tell your partner you're no longer attracted to them?

This week, Sophia and Kelsey are joined by the hilarious Kevin T. Porter, host of the podcast ‘Good Christian Fun’ and proud owner of a middle initial. He’ll be reading as Haven*, who, upon leaving a religious cult, was ready to explore sex without restrictions. Listen up to hear stories about Harry Potter fanfic, dripping wax, and experimenting with your best friend.

*Not Haven’s real name, but definitely her real stories

Today’s episode includes …

00:25: Our guest: Kevin T. Porter

01:23: Hearing juicy gossip in church

14:39: Our business: “Haven”

18:22: First Things First: “We met in Bible college”

24:04: First Comes Marriage: “Sometimes things end”

47:37: The One Who Got Away: “We’d need to get married immediately”

50:17: Worst Ex: “11:55 p.m. on New Year’s Eve”

57:08: Best I Ever Had: “I just explored myself so much”

1:04:57: Fuck-It List: “Choking on a dildo”

1:11:02: Status Update: “We have found our groove”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow Kevin on IG and X!

https://www.instagram.com/kevintporter/

https://x.com/KevinTPorter

Listen to Kevin’s podcast, ‘Good Christian Fun’

https://open.spotify.com/show/43wOhCblFrUFHTyRb089AJ

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Guest: Kevin T. Porter

Supervising producer: Justin Sayles

Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video editing and production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion design: Skull Closet Studio

Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton

Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from ⁠http://premiumbeat.com⁠.

CONNECT

Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod

⁠TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod

⁠Sophia's Twitter: ⁠x.com/1followernodad

⁠Sophia's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/sgbenoit⁠

Kelsey's TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen

⁠Kelsey's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Fantasizing About My Wife" With Brett Dodenhoff

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 10:00:00 -0000

What happens when your spouse suddenly loses interest in sex?

This week, the hilarious Brett Dodenhoff, cohost of the new podcast ‘Lust to Dust: My Horny Dead Dad,’ joins Sophia and Kelsey to talk about his late father’s sex memoir. He then reads as Frank*, a 58-year-old doctor who we can confidently diagnose as a wife guy. Listen in to hear his tales of horny orchestra students, sex after stitches, and encountering midlife asexuality.

*Not Frank’s real name, but definitely his real stories

Today’s episode includes …

00:26: Our guest: Brett Dodenhoff

07:13: The ineffective no-hookup rule

12:40: Our business: “Frank”

14:49: First Things First: “The violinist came on to me”

21:08: The One Who Got Away: “A fabulous, tumultuous month”

27:43: Cheater, Cheater: “The sex started disappearing”

42:50: Best I Ever Had: “I just about died”

46:09: Status Update: “Remember our old lives?”

54:47: Fuck-It List: “The embarrassed guy in the threesome”

57:49: Parting Shots: “It would open things up for me”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow Brett on TikTok, IG, YouTube!

https://www.tiktok.com/@brettthelorax?lang=en

https://www.instagram.com/brettthelorax/

https://www.youtube.com/@Brett.Dodenhoff

Listen Brett’s podcast, ‘Lust to Dust: My Horny Dead Dad’

https://open.spotify.com/show/5RpohVgue0LFE11mXioDr7

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Guest: Brett Dodenhoff

Supervising producer: Justin Sayles

Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video editing and production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion design: Skull Closet Studio

Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton

Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from ⁠http://premiumbeat.com⁠.

CONNECT

Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod

⁠TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod

⁠Sophia's Twitter: ⁠x.com/1followernodad

⁠Sophia's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/sgbenoit⁠

Kelsey's TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen

⁠Kelsey's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Can You Die From Good Sex?" With Annapurna Sriram

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 11:00:00 -0000

It’s time to enter the sex dungeon.

This week, Sophia and Kelsey are joined by the amazing Annapurna Sriram: writer, director, and star of the new movie ‘Fucktoys’! She offers her insight as a trained dominatrix as she reads as Kyra*, an adventurous Jesus camp alum who’s a cunnilingus expert and has hooked up with celebs. Get ready to be serenaded by a pan flute and tune in.

*Not Kyra’s real name, but definitely her real stories.

Today’s episode includes …

00:25: Our guest: Annapurna Sriram

08:22: The eroticism of Irish dance

15:15: Our business: “Kyra”

18:16: First Things First: “Vaginas are intimidating”

25:16: Cheater, Cheater: “He was scrambling and lying”

51:06: The One Who Got Away: “I’ve seen a lot of dicks”

54:55: Fuck-It List: “Big Luke and Little Luke”

59:05: Best I Ever Had: “He still has my underwear”

1:07:19: Status Update: “We ran out of condoms”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow Annapurna and ‘Fucktoys’ on IG!

https://www.instagram.com/missannapurna/

https://www.instagram.com/fucktoysthemovie/

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Guest: Annapurna Sriram

Supervising producer: Justin Sayles

Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video editing and production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion design: Skull Closet Studio

Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton

Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from ⁠http://premiumbeat.com⁠.

CONNECT

Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod

⁠TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod

⁠Sophia's Twitter: ⁠x.com/1followernodad

⁠Sophia's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/sgbenoit⁠

Kelsey's TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen

⁠Kelsey's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"The Roster" With Sydney Kane

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 11:00:00 -0000

"The Roster" With Sydney Kane

In which we learn about the world of “dollification.”

It’s the last week of Freaky February, and Sophia and Kelsey are joined by the great Sydney Kane: actor, singer, and creator of the musical comedy special ‘Wife Material.’ Sydney will be reading as Stella*, a 44-year-old research queen with an impressively organized sex life (complete with incredible nicknames for all her regular hookups). Tune in to hear tales of red rooms and iPad cheating from this hilarious sexpert.

*Not Stella’s real name, but definitely her real stories

Today’s episode includes …

00:18: Our guest: Sydney Kane
00:41: The woes of situationships
18:33: Our business: “Stella”
21:35: First Things First: “Varsity-level stuff”
25:12: Best I Ever Had: “Country Boy Toy”
32:18: Worst Ex: “I was dick-matized”
41:28: The One Who Got Away: “He matched my freak”
51:17: Places and Spaces: “We met between acts”
52:52: Red Flags: “It almost felt performative”
54:48: Circling Back: “He went to Sephora”
59:58: Status Update: “Monetize my horniness”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at ⁠noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com⁠.

Follow Sydney on IG and TikTok! ⁠https://www.instagram.com/sydneymorgankane/⁠ ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@sydneymorgankane⁠

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen
Guest: Sydney Kane
Supervising producer: Justin Sayles
Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle
Video editing and production: Kayla Talley
Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle
Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris
Motion design: Skull Closet Studio
Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton
Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from ⁠⁠⁠⁠http://premiumbeat.com⁠⁠⁠⁠.

CONNECT
Instagram: ⁠⁠instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod⁠ ⁠
TikTok: ⁠⁠tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod⁠ ⁠
Sophia's Twitter: ⁠⁠x.com/1followernodad⁠ ⁠
Sophia's Instagram: ⁠⁠instagram.com/sgbenoit⁠⁠⁠⁠
Kelsey's TikTok: ⁠⁠tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen⁠ ⁠
Kelsey's Instagram: ⁠⁠instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Twin Town" With Avery McClure

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 11:00:00 -0000

We’re heading to the horniest department store in town.

It’s another edition of Freaky February, and Sophia and Kelsey are joined by the hilarious actor and comedian Avery McClure! Avery will be reading as Christy*, a 45-year-old mom whose stories include diapers, peacocks, and hooking up with coworkers (and their brothers). Find a comfy hay bale and tune in to a fun one.

*Not Christy’s real name, but definitely her real stories.

Today’s episode includes …

00:21: Our guest: Avery McClure

01:30: Being in love with your friends

13:19: Our business: “Christy”

16:05: First Things First: “Finally!”

18:40: Best I Ever Had: ”An unexpected threesome”

23:00: Worst Ex: “My other girlfriend”

30:39: The One Who Got Away: “He lived by a zoo”

36:24: Craziest Sex: “We called him Hot Jack”

38:57: Deal-Breakers: “He started talking baby talk”

43:25: Worst First Date: “Luckily, we drove two cars”

47:25: Do It Again?: “She looked like Baby Spice”

51:37: Fuck-It List: “I’m terrified”

54:36: Status Update: “He just washed my car”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow Avery on IG and TikTok!

https://www.instagram.com/averymcclure0

https://www.tiktok.com/@averymcclure0

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Guest: Avery McClure

Supervising producer: Justin Sayles

Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video editing and production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion design: Skull Closet Studio

Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton

Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from ⁠http://premiumbeat.com⁠.

CONNECT

Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod

⁠TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod

⁠Sophia's Twitter: ⁠x.com/1followernodad

⁠Sophia's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/sgbenoit⁠

Kelsey's TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen

⁠Kelsey's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Five Days in a Dog Crate" With Mackinlee Waddell

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 11:00:00 -0000

Genuine question: Can you invite people to an orgy on Partiful?
Freaky February continues with the great actor and comedian Mackinlee Waddell, who tells Sophia and Kelsey about her experience getting divorced before role-playing as Briauna.* Jump in to hear juicy stories about hookups in Iceland, surprise fisting, and finding your partner’s Bumble account.
*Briauna is not her real name, but these are definitely her real stories. (And yes, the spelling is discussed.)
Today’s episode includes …
00:23: Our guest: Mackinlee Waddell
00:39: Mackinlee opens up about her divorce
17:05: Our business: “Briauna”
21:08: Best I Ever Had: “I didn’t know I could do that”
28:36: Worst Ex: ”This kid called me ‘stepmom’”
36:15: The One Who Got Away: “It had to come to an end”
42:52: Deal-Breakers: “Your brain is still forming”
46:59: Never Again: “That was a little much”
51:33: This One Time When…: “He went off the deep end”
56:01: Status Update: “We’re gonna make it exclusive”
If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.
Follow Mackinlee on IG!
https://www.instagram.com/mackinleew
Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen
Guest: Mackinlee Waddell
Supervising producer: Justin Sayles
Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle
Video editing and production: Kayla Talley
Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle
Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris
Motion design: Skull Closet Studio
Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton
Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from ⁠http://premiumbeat.com ⁠.
CONNECT
Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod
⁠TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod
⁠Sophia's Twitter: ⁠x.com/1followernodad
⁠Sophia's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/sgbenoit ⁠
Kelsey's TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen
⁠Kelsey's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"The Town Slut" With Tamara Yajia

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 11:00:00 -0000

When the pussy so good he adjusted his whole moral compass…

The hilarious Tamara Yajia, author of ‘Cry For Me, Argentina: My Life as a Failed Child Star,’ has returned for Freaky February, in which Sophia and Kelsey are switching places! Tam will be reading as Catherine*, who tells us about her torrid romances involving Holy Thursday sex, LARPing, and a whole lot of fringe.

*As always, Catherine is not her real name, but these are definitely her real stories

Today’s episode includes …

00:22 Our guest: Tamara Yajia
08:02: Welcome to Freaky February!
10:13: Our business: “Catherine”
13:36: First Things First: “I can’t die a virgin”
35:18: Best I Ever Had: ”The chemistry was 11/10”
44:12: Worst Ex: “He stole my entire friend group”
49:52: The One Who Got Away: “Everything comes back to my high school ex”
54:27: Cheater, Cheater: “Complete brain memory wipe”
1:00:36: Worst First Date: “Mario Kart–type racing”
1:06:37: Status Update: “Did a little witchy spell”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow Tam on IG!
https://www.instagram.com/tamarayajia

Buy Tam’s book, ‘Cry For Me, Argentina: My Life as a Failed Child Star’
https://a.co/d/7bHd9LJ

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen
Guest: Tamara Yajia
Supervising producer: Justin Sayles
Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle
Video editing and production: Kayla Talley
Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle
Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris
Motion design: Skull Closet Studio
Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton
Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from ⁠http://premiumbeat.com⁠.

CONNECT
Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod
⁠TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod
⁠Sophia's Twitter: ⁠x.com/1followernodad
⁠Sophia's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/sgbenoit⁠
Kelsey's TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen
⁠Kelsey's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Tumblr-Famous Lesbian" With Skyler Higley

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 11:00:00 -0000

A dispatch from the college dorm’s lesbian floor.

This week, Sophia and Kelsey welcome the hilarious comedian Skyler Higley, a writer for the Oscars and Kelsey’s former high school classmate! He’ll be reading as Mira*, a cool Los Angeleno with endless charisma (and zingers). Tune in to hear a fun one about an unfortunate-smelling roommate, doing homework for a crush, and a sexual encounter on a pile of coats.

(*Not Mira’s real name, but definitely her real stories.)

Today’s episode includes …

00:27: Our guest: Skyler Higley
08:42: The perils of cuddling
19:49: Our business: “Mira”
25:44: First Things First: “She was very … weathered”
33:51: Worst Ex: “It was such a dumbass reaction”
1:00:22 The One Who Got Away: “I was feeling so swaggy”
1:05:12: Six-and-a-Half-Year Relationship: “We had no shame”
1:13:40: Best I Ever Had: “A lot of public sex”
1:19:01: Status Update: “She might be with gym girl right now”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow Skyler on IG and X!
https://www.instagram.com/skylerhigley/
https://x.com/skyler_higley?lang=en

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen
Guest: Skyler Higley
Supervising producer: Justin Sayles
Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle
Video editing and production: Kayla Talley
Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle
Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris
Motion design: Skull Closet Studio
Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton

Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from ⁠http://premiumbeat.com⁠.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Boy Sober" With Holly Solem

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 11:00:00 -0000

In which we analyze the psychological appeal of secret sex.

This week, Sophia and Kelsey introduce us to the very endearing (and very horny) Mason*, a sweet San Diegan who’s open to just about anything. Reading as Mason is the great Holly Solem: ‘Playgirl’ columnist, host of Manthropology TV, and author of HollyWould. Jump in to hear Mason tell us about his ex’s controlling family, a thorny love triangle, and sex solicitations on the Whisper app.

*Not Mason’s real name, but definitely his real stories.

Today’s episode includes …

00:00: Some R&R gone wrong at the bar

07:16: Our guest: Holly Solem

15:41: Our business: “Mason”

17:55: First Things First: “The nice Christian girl wasn't as horny as I was”

24:12: Worst Ex: “She was fiery and exciting”

35:59: One Who Got Away: “We were both obsessed with the idea of non-monogamy"

51:01: Craziest Sex Stories: “I slept with as many people in San Diego as I could"

59:52: Best I Ever Had: “I'm a bottom"

1:01:48: Wife Guy: "I was really into moms"

1:06:22: Status Update: “About 98 percent monogamous”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow Holly’s accounts on IG!

http://instagram.com/hollymsolem

http://instagram.com/manthropologytv

Check out her substack HollyWould!

https://hollywould.substack.com

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Guest: Holly Solem

Supervising Producer: Justin Sayles

Additional Production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video Editing and Production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art Direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion Design: Skull Closet Studio

Additional Motion Design Support: Chris Calleton

Theme Song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from ⁠http://premiumbeat.com⁠.

CONNECT

Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod⁠

TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod⁠

Sophia's Twitter: ⁠x.com/1followernodad⁠

Sophia's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/sgbenoit⁠

Kelsey's TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen⁠

Kelsey's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Total Size Queen” With Jodi Walker

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 11:00:00 -0000

You’ll never look at Monster Energy cans the same way.

Get ready to meet Kennedy*, an L.A. gal with strong feelings on length vs. girth. And reading as Kennedy will be the incomparable Jodi Walker, host of We’re Obsessed on the Ringer Podcast Network. Join Jodi, Sophia, and Kelsey as they explore Kennedy’s wild tales about stagnant water, penis pumps, and one guy’s little-too-comfortable relationship with his stepsister.

(*As always, not her real name, but for sure her real stories.)

Today’s episode includes …

00:00: How tall is too tall? Asking for a friend.

06:09: Our guest: Jodi Walker

11:05: Our business: “Kennedy”

17:26: First Things First: “Kinda entered a blue-balls zone”

25:34: Worst Ex: “I love everything about you except the way you look”

36:31: One Who Got Away: “Super short corduroy shorts”

46:39: Craziest Sex Stories: “Too annoying for a threesome”

57:38: Best I Ever Had: “Stagnant water”

1:16:10: Status Update: “So I’ve taken a step back”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Listen to Jodi on We’re Obsessed!

open.spotify.com/show/6gYfWwK7c6RO0l9T0W7BMk?si=2a8cd5e20fe34902

Follow her on IG!

instagram.com/jodi_e_walker

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Guest: Jodi Walker

Supervising producer: Justin Sayles

Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video editing and production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion design: Skull Closet Studio

Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton

Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from ⁠http://premiumbeat.com⁠.

CONNECT

Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod⁠

TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod⁠

Sophia's Twitter: ⁠x.com/1followernodad⁠

Sophia's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/sgbenoit⁠

Kelsey's TikTok: ⁠tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen⁠

Kelsey's Instagram: ⁠instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"The Accidental Foursome" With Nora Princiotti

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 11:00:00 -0000

Surprise group sex! The Torture Garden! A sweet man at the center of it all!

This week, we’ll meet Oliver*, a 50-year-old bloke from London with a fun past and hopefully fun future ahead of him. And reading as Oliver will be The Ringer’s Nora Princiotti, cohost of We’re Obsessed and Every Single Album. So cuff yourself to your chair and stay tuned, because it’s a fun one.

(*Not Oliver’s real name, but definitely his real stories.)

Today’s story includes …

00:00: The trouble with opening lines.
05:41: Our guest: Nora Princiotti
12:18: Our business: “Oliver”
15:58: First Things First: “Ridiculous screwball comedy stuff.”
20:53: Worst Ex: “The worst ex is my most recent ex.”
35:10: Cheater Cheater: “I found messages between the two of them.”
46:51: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do: “I thought from the beginning: This is a terrible idea.”
55:36: Craziest Hookup: “I had an accidental foursome.”
1:17:12: Status Update: “It’s going to be the first time I’ve lived on my own in 25 years.”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow Nora on Instagram!
instagram.com/noraprinciotti

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen
Guest: Nora Princiotti
Supervising producer: Justin Sayles
Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle
Video editing and production: Kayla Talley
Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle
Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris
Motion design: Skull Closet Studio
Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton
Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from http://premiumbeat.com.

CONNECT
Instagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod
TikTok: tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod
Sophia's Twitter: x.com/1followernodad
Sophia's Instagram: instagram.com/sgbenoit
Kelsey's TikTok: tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen
Kelsey's Instagram: instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Awkward at the Gang Bang” With Josh Gondelman

Mon, 29 Dec 2025 11:00:00 -0000

Pick yourself up from the living room floor and lock in, because we’ve got a fun one involving Craigslist Missed Connections, BDSM, and some jaw-droppingly terrible exes.

Today, Sophia and Kelsey welcome one of our favorite comedians and noted wife guy Josh Gondelman to the middle chair. Josh is reading as Nina*: a Brooklyn gal who introduced us to the idea of gang-bang concierges and the phrase “surprise pregnant.” It’s a good one, so tune in.

(*Not Nina’s real name, but—as always—her very real stories.)

Today’s episode includes …

00:00: Sharing dogs with exes

06:17: Our guest: Josh Gondelman

11:03: Our business: “Nina”

13:44: First Things First: “There was a guy leaning against a wall”

17:55: Worst Ex: “It destroyed my conception of the universe”

28:57: It Gets Worse: “We met as a mutual Missed Connection on Craigslist”

46:26: Best I Ever Had: “Kind of BDSM-adjacent”

49:18: Status Update: “I no longer try to prevent pregnancy”

55:02: Group Activities: “He really liked connecting people”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow Josh on Instagram!

instagram.com/joshgondelman

Watch Josh’s stand-up special here!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAvNlgpdKKo

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Guest: Josh Gondelman

Supervising producer: Justin Sayles

Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video editing and production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion design: Skull Closet Studio

Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton

Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from http://premiumbeat.com.

CONNECT

Instagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod

TikTok: tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod

Sophia's Twitter: x.com/1followernodad

Sophia's Instagram: instagram.com/sgbenoit

Kelsey's TikTok: tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen

Kelsey's Instagram: instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Stuart Fucking Little” With Charles Holmes

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 11:00:00 -0000

Dirty talk, the right way.

This week, we’re joined by the illustrious Charles Holmes, veteran of many Ringer podcasts as well as of the L.A. dating scene. And Charles is reading as Pippa*, a fun gal from London with some fun stories. On the docket is an affair with a bandmate, the real key to sexy bedroom talk, and some wild icks that, when you think about it, make a ton of sense.

(*Not her real name, but as always, her real stories.)

This week’s episode includes …

00:00: Kelsey’s Raya adventures

03:56: Our guest: Charles Holmes

05:18: Our business: “Pippa”

08:43: First Things First: “The lodger knocking on my window”

10:57: Cheat Sheet: “I slept with the lead singer”

19:34: Worst Ex: “He would espouse these quite conservative views”

25:57: Best I Ever Had: “I'm fluent in Spanish, but I wasn’t familiar with all the dirty words”

32:52: This One’s on Me: “I’m very anti dating writers”

36:09: Love Is Embarrassing: “I don’t even know if he got my letter”

42:02: Fuck-It List: “I think I tried everything wild”

45:38: That’s a Deal-Breaker: “I just don’t believe men should be flexible”

49:54: Status Update: “Painfully single”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow Charles on X!

https://x.com/charlesxholmes

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Guest: Charles Holmes

Supervising producer: Justin Sayles

Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video editing and production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion design: Skull Closet Studio

Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton

Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from http://premiumbeat.com.

CONNECT

Instagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod

TikTok: tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod

Sophia's Twitter: x.com/1followernodad

Sophia's Instagram: instagram.com/sgbenoit

Kelsey's TikTok: tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen

Kelsey's Instagram: instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Alka-Seltzer Condoms” With Carter Hambley

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 18:15:00 -0000

In which we learn that writing a newsletter can get you (almost) laid.

This week on None of My Business, we meet Luke*, a 33-year-old whose love language is coordinated outfits and has a particularly shocking story about the one who got away. And joining Sophia and Kelsey to read as Luke is the hilarious comedian Carter Hambley.

(*As always, not Luke’s real name, but definitely his real stories.)

This week’s episode includes …

00:00: When a ghosting becomes a haunting.

04:50: Our guest: Carter Hambley.

09:18: Our business: “Luke.”

11:17: First Things First: “I grew up Presbyterian.”

18:02: One Who Got Away: “A building with 40 stories.”

39:45: Best I Ever Had: “Sex is great either place.”

51:13: Best I Ever Had Part 2: “I’m going to ask him to film us f*****g.”

1:02:28: Status Update: “I’m enjoying the fun.”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow Carter on IG!

https://www.instagram.com/carterhambley

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Guest: Cater Hambley

Supervising producer: Justin Sayles

Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video editing and production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion design: Skull Closet Studio

Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton

Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from http://premiumbeat.com.

CONNECT

Instagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod

TikTok: tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod

Sophia's Twitter: x.com/1followernodad

Sophia's Instagram: instagram.com/sgbenoit

Kelsey's TikTok: tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen

Kelsey's Instagram: instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Love Vs. Like” With Rachel Lindsay

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 11:00:00 -0000

Get ready to find out what asynchronous swinging is.

This week, we welcome on Rachel Lindsay, a former Bachelorette and the host of the esteemed Ringer podcasts Higher Learning and Morally Corrupt. Rachel will be helping us share stories from Jessica* that include fun with polyamory, a spicy hookup in the kitchen, and a lot more.

(*As always, not her real name, but definitely her real stories.)

This week’s episode includes …

00:00: Would you sign up for a reality dating show?
03:50: Our guest: Rachel Lindsay
11:24: Our business: “Jessica”
15:05: First Things First: “I was arranging it like a business deal.”
22:44: Worst Ex: “He’s the reason I live in Charlottesville.”
27:28: Love Is an Open Door: “We got pretty close to an actual swinging situation.”
51:19: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: “I barely touched him. It was all about me.”
55:29: Best I Ever Had: “I got no sleep. But it was so good.”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow Rachel on Instagram!
https://www.instagram.com/therachlindsay/

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen
Guest: Rachel Lindsay
Supervising producer: Justin Sayles
Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle
Video editing and production: Kayla Talley
Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle
Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris
Motion design: Skull Closet Studio
Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton
Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from http://premiumbeat.com.

CONNECT
Instagram: http://instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod
TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod
Sophia's Twitter: http://x.com/1followernodad
Sophia's Instagram: http://instagram.com/sgbenoit
Kelsey's TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen
Kelsey's Instagram: http://instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“The Performance Art Piece” With Blair Socci

Wed, 03 Dec 2025 01:33:00 -0000

This week, we’re fanning the flames of love with stories about a wild date with an arsonist, an international affair to remember, and some hands-on research.

Joining us in the middle chair is the hilarious Blair Socci, whose voice you may recognize from ‘Bob’s Burgers,’ the ‘Aqua Teen Hunger Force’ movie, or her amazing new podcast, ‘Spaced Out With Blair Socci.’

Blair will be reading as “Corrine”—and as always, these are real stories, even if that’s not Corrine’s real name.

Today’s episode includes …

00:00: We gotta stop pumping these guys up.
04:53: Our guest: Blair Socci
11:14: Our Business: “Corrine”
19:25: First Things First: “Let me tell you: Ow.”
25:06: Best I Ever Had: "What Happens in Bed: A Performance Art Piece."
30:06: Craziest Sex Stories: “The arson’s bad. That bums me out.”
43:07: One Who Got Away: “The person who told me that Boone had OD’ed.”
50:04: One Who Got Away Part 2: “Sun. Tacos. Hanging out with you."

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Buy tickets to Blair’s benefit show on December 6th at the Largo featuring Anthony Jeselnik and many more!
https://wl.eventim.us/event/blair-socci-and-friends/669217?afflky=LargoAtTheCoronet

Follow Blair’s new podcast on Instagram!
https://www.instagram.com/spacedoutwithblairsocci/?hl=en

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen
Guest: Blair Socci
Supervising producer: Justin Sayles
Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle
Video editing and production: Kayla Talley
Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle
Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris
Motion design: Skull Closet Studio
Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton
Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from http://premiumbeat.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“The Dog Days of Three-Summer” With Tamara Yajia

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 16:52:00 -0000

Love is a battlefield. Literally.

Today, we bring you a tale that involves a breakup at Gettysburg, a wild hotel balcony incident, and a mysterious sex god named Don who’s had a little bit of trouble with TSA. And sharing these stories is the hilarious Tamara Yajia, author of the new book ‘Cry for Me, Argentina: My Life as a Failed Child Star’ and someone who enjoys a good time at Jumbo’s Clown Room.

Tam will be reading as “Francesca”—as always, not a real name but definitely all real stories.

Today’s episode includes …

00:00: Kelsey is Sophia’s travel nightmare
02:48: Our Guest: Tamara Yajia
09:40: Our Business: “Francesca”
13:35: First Things First: “The back of my 2001 Acura MDX”
22:08: Worst Ex: “We broke up at Gettysburg”
31:00: Best I’ve Ever Had: “It’s gotta be Don. It’s Don.”
46:46: Craziest Hookup: “Fully nude. Fully outside.”
51:01: Status Update: “Five or six. They’re all so needy.”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow Tam on Instagram!
instagram.com/tamarayajia

Buy Tam’s new book, ‘Cry for Me Argentina: My Life as a Failed Child Star’
https://a.co/d/7bHd9LJ

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Is This What Sex Is?” With EJ Marcus

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 11:00:00 -0000

Get ready to get tossed around, WWE style.

Today, we welcome EJ Marcus, the hilarious comedian and writer on the new HBO show, ‘I Love LA.’ He’ll be reading as Delaney*, a 31-year-old from Ithaca who describes herself as “culturally a lesbian, but bisexual." Join us as we break down stories about random BDSM hookups, what it’s like being the third in TWO separate relationships, and a nightmare of a soccer team coaching arrangement.

(*Not her real name, definitely her real stories.)

This episode includes …

00:00: Kelsey loves magic (still).
07:33: Our guest: EJ Marcus
13:10: Our business: "Delaney"
15:39: First Things First: “People are doing this all the time?”
25:48: Worst Ex: "She wouldn’t even tell people she was my girlfriend.”
37:57: Best I Ever Had: "Not all heterosexual men really love women.”
54:08: Craziest Hookup: "Whips and restraints and ball gags”
1:01:50: Status Update: “Two couples”

If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com

Follow EJ Marcus!
Instagram: instagram.com/ejhavingfun
TikTok: tiktok.com/@ejhavingfun

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen
Guest: EJ Marcus
Supervising producer: Justin Sayles
Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle
Video editing and production: Kayla Talley
Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle
Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris
Motion design: Skull Closet Studio
Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton
Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license by http://premiumbeat.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Big Butt Bonanza” With Van Lathan

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 11:00:00 -0000

An episode heavy on crime: shoplifting, missing people, and overdue porno tapes.

This week, we welcome on the one and only Van Lathan, the host of Ringer podcasts such as Higher Learning, Midnight Boys, and Ringer Tailgate. He’ll be reading as Valentina*, a woman who’s had her fair share of weird exes and heartbreak, but is managing to dance her way through it all.

(*Not her real name, definitely her real stories.)

Today’s business includes …

00:00: Voice memos are hell.
05:11: Our guest: Van Lathan
06:31: Our business: "Valentina"
08:16: First Things First: “He produced for the Wu-Tang Clan specifically.”
12:05: Worst Ex: "I turn around and standing there is his mom.”
26:46: One Who Got Away: "If there is criminal activity …”
45:08: Best I Ever Had: "The Prince."
50:04: Status Update: "Conscious celibacy."

If you have business you’d like to submit, reach out to us at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Instagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod
TikTok: tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod
Sophia's Twitter: x.com/1followernodad
Sophia's Instagram: instagram.com/sgbenoit
Kelsey's TikTok: tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen
Kelsey's Instagram: instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Van's Instagram: instagram.com/vanlathan
Van's Twitter: x.com/VanLathan

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen
Guest: Van Lathan
Supervising producer: Justin Sayles
Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle
Video editing and production: Kayla Talley
Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle
Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris
Motion design: Skull Closet Studio
Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton
Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license by premiumbeat.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“You Never Had a Creamie?” With Sam Taggart

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 11:00:00 -0000

Lock in, because it’s Bosco Sticks Day.

This week, we’ve got a special story about the most fun girl in Cincinnati. Join us as the hilarious Sam Taggart from Straightiolab reads as Annie*, a nanny who had a slightly complicated relationship with one of her bosses.

(*Not her real name, definitely her real stories.)

Today’s business includes …

00:00: The cringe of early dating.
06:35: Our guest: Sam Taggart
12:00: Our business: “Annie”
16:00: First Things First: “It was a mess.”
29:47: State of Affairs: “This lesbian couple reached out …”
46:03: Worst Ex: “Get all the ick you want.”
56:07: Shoulda Known Better: “She introduced me to eating ass.”
01:00:54: Status Update: “Actually the best sex I’ve ever had.”

If you have business you’d like to submit, reach out to us at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com

Instagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod TikTok: tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod Sophia's Twitter: x.com/1followernodad Sophia's Instagram: instagram.com/sgbenoit Kelsey's TikTok: tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen Kelsey's Instagram: instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Sam's Podcast (Straightiolab): instagram.com/straightiolab Sam's Instagram: instagram.com/samtaggart

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen
Guest: Sam Taggart
Supervising producer: Justin Sayles
Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle
Video editing and production: Kayla Talley
Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle
Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris
Motion design: Skull Closet Studio
Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton
Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license by premiumbeats.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Open Heart, Open Legs, Can't Lose" With Greta Titelman

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 10:00:00 -0000

Toss on your goggles and head to the playa with us, because we have a fun one for you. This week, we're joined by Greta Titelman, the amazing actor and comedian you may recognize from 'Search Party,' 'Los Espookys,' and 'Problemista.' She'll be reading as "Lucas*"—a ladies' man from Los Angeles with some tales about Burning Man and a threesome faux pas that nearly ended a friendship, plus one group story that's so good we don't want to spoil it here.

(*Not his real name. Definitely his real stories.)

Today’s business includes …

00:00: A tale of two Bobs

07:43: Our guest: Greta Titelman

08:20: Our story: “Lucas”

13:11 First things first: “This is cool"

15:10: Worst ex: “Terminator vibes”

24:30: The one who got away: "My main three exes"

32:26: Wildest sex stories: "I'll just call it a cult"

49:25: Best I ever had: “On a blanket in the middle of Burning Man"

55:24: Status update: “I gotta chill out a bit”

If you have business you’d like to submit, reach out to us at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow None of My Business on Instagram and TikTok.

Follow Greta Titelman on Instagram and TikTok.

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Guest: Greta Titelman

Supervising producer: Justin Sayles

Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video editing and production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion design: Skull Closet Studio

Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton

Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license by premiumbeats.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“So Horny, So Fearful” With Charlie Bardey

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 10:00:00 -0000

We’re back with one of our favorites. This week, we’re joined by comedian and co-host of the podcast Exploration Live Charlie Bardey, who’s reading anonymous stories from Gwen*. Strap in as we talk about a journalism assignment that led to self-discovery, someone with the super power to smell sperm, and livesex at SIRenty Farms. Plus, we try to figure out to get Kelsey a boyfriend that can be Sophia’s buddy.

(*Not her real name. Definitely her real stories.)

Today’s business includes …

00:22: Should you be buddies with your friend’s boyfriend?

10:30: Our guest: Charlie Bardey

16:32: Our story: “Gwen”

18:35: The backstory: “Beating a path to the glory hole.”

30:40: First things … second: “She literally smelled cum on my breath.”

39:19: Worst ex: “He’s why I ended up in Kansas City.”

45:22: Places and space: SIRenity now.

48:00: Cheat sheet: “Barbara Bush.”

53:45: Best I’ve ever had: “The sugar baby thing.”

57:40: Status update: “I speak Jesus, I can fake a prayer.”

If you have business you’d like to submit, reach out to us at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

Follow None of My Business on Instagram and TikTok.

Follow Charlie Bardey on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter.

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Guest: Charlie Bardey

Supervising producer: Justin Sayles

Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video editing and production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion design: Skull Closet Studio

Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton

Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license by premiumbeats.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Former Gifted Kids" With Paige Gallagher

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 10:00:00 -0000

We’re popping our podcast cherries!

It’s our first episode, and Sophia and Kelsey are joined by Paige Gallagher to read anonymous stories from Isabella*. We’re talking about men who wash their face with Dawn dish soap, pegging the Marines, a few unconventional marriage arrangements, and dating someone who looks exactly like you.

(*Not her real name. Definitely her real stories.)

Today's show includes ...

00:23: Welcome to None of My Business!

10:29: Our guest: Paige Gallagher

11:59: Our story: “Isabella”

15:00: First things first: “I’ve actually never had an orgasm”

24:14: Peg the Marines

34:53: Worst first date: “Why aren’t you kissing me?”

38:52: The one who got away: The two-year situationship

47:04: Cheat sheet: The cousin story

54:32: Best I ever had: “I don't consider myself a size queen, but …”

If you have business you’d like to submit, reach out to us at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com.

None of My Business Instagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod

None of My Business TikTok: tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod

Paige Instagram: instagram.com/paigeagallagher

Paige TikTok: tiktok.com/@pgally

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Guest: Paige Gallagher

Supervising Producer: Justin Sayles

Additional Production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video Editing and Production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art Direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion Design: Skull Closet Studio

Additional Motion Design Support: Chris Calleton

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to None of My Business

Thu, 09 Oct 2025 10:00:00 -0000

Because we all love hearing things that aren't any of our business. Each Monday, Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen take you on a journey into the private sex lives and relationships of real-life (anonymous) people—with the help of our favorite funny people.

If you'd like to submit your stories ~anonymously~ reach out to us at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com, and we'll get back to you.

Subscribe on YouTube: youtube.com/@NoneOfMyBusinessPod

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Supervising Producer: Justin Sayles

Additional Production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video Editing and Production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art Direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion Design: Skull Closet Studio

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices