Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist

The Best of Drag Queens

Tue, 04 Jan 2022 08:03:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matt look back on some of their favorite moments with the amazing drag queens that have appeared on the show. Alaska Thunderfuck opens up about the backlash she received after Drag Race, Peppermint talks about sex addiction and self-loathing, Trixie Mattel shares how she overcame a horrific childhood, Sherry Vine gets vulnerable about aging, and so much more. This is an episode you definitely don’t want to miss!

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Best of Hot Messages

Tue, 28 Dec 2021 08:03:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec selects some of the most impactful and helpful Hot Messages from the show. Listen to what Jodi Sweetin, Jackie Beat, Joely Fisher, Tina Burner, Naomi Ekperigin, Johnny Sibily, Denali, Nikki Blonksy and others have to say about what has helped and inspired them to triumph over adversity and live with purpose, joy and peace.

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Ross Mathews: Understanding Grief

Tue, 21 Dec 2021 08:03:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew re-air a heartfelt and hilarious conversation with a famous tv personality and author of Name Drop, Ross Mathews. This episode was recorded just after Ross’ mom passed away and Matt, Alec, and Ross talk about dealing with the loss of a loved one during the pandemic. Ross opens up about his special relationship with his mother, his coming out journey, letting himself grieve, and finding meaning in pain. Stay tuned for Ross’ story about how Matt LeBlanc was rude to him in public and then apologized to him 10 years later.

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Raven: The End of People-Pleasing: Now Calling $h!t Out!

Tue, 14 Dec 2021 08:03:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew address people-pleasing with Raven, the Emmy award-winning make-up artist and host of the new competition show Painted with Raven on Wow Presents Plus.

Raven opens up about growing up in Victorville, California, falling in love with makeup and beauty, being the runner-up in Season Two of Drag Race, ending people-pleasing, getting rid of crazymakers and finding people worth an emotional investment. Listen in and you’ll feel inspired to find all the beauty in yourself and others!

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Rock M Sakura: Sex worker

Tue, 07 Dec 2021 08:03:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew are excited to welcome the star of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 12, Rock M Sakura. Rock shares with Alec and Matt her challenging childhood being raised by a mother who struggled with addiction. Rock shares why she left home at 15 and her journey to becoming a sex worker. The three have a candid and often hilarious conversation about learning to survive, dealing with shame, transactional sex, kink, and how we define our self-worth.

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Alyson Stoner: Healing Yourself

Tue, 30 Nov 2021 08:03:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew are excited to welcome childhood dancer from the Missy Elliott music videos, Disney Channel child actress and creator of Movement Genius, Alyson Stoner. Alyson opens up about the pressure of being a child actress and the resentment she felt, struggling with an eating disorder, her diagnosis of Alexithymia, and why she felt she needed to go to rehab. Alyson shares what she learned about the mind-body connection through her experiences and the tools and strategies she has developed and used to help her heal herself and continue to grow as an artist and person. Alyson has generously offered a free 30-day trial on Movement Genius plus her new e-book Mind-Body Movement to all Hot Mess listeners. Just use the code below to access! https://www.movementgenius.com/offers/oQSgLodB?coupon_code=HOTMESS

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Re-Air Kristen Johnston: Premier Episode

Tue, 23 Nov 2021 08:00:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew express their gratitude to all of their listeners for tuning in each week and making Hot Mess such a success! They then re-air their first ever episode of Hot Mess with Alec’s former college classmate and Emmy-Award winning actress Kristen Johnston. The real-life friends share Hollywood stories including the celebrities they replaced on “Ugly Betty” and how Kristen saved him from Madonna’s brother! Kristen reveals how addiction turned into one of her greatest gifts. She gets candid about her definition of addiction and how everyone faces their own struggles. Alec shares his personal recovery with sex and love addiction and Kristen reveals intimate details of hitting rock bottom, coming close to death and how she was able to come out on the other side!

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Quinn Cummings: Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy

Tue, 16 Nov 2021 08:03:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew are thrilled to welcome Oscar-nominated child actress from The Good-bye Girl and author of Notes from the Underwire and The Year of Learning Dangerously, humorist Quinn Cummings to the show. Quinn opens up about why she decided to try Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy and what she learned about herself from the experience. Alec, Matt and Quinn explore whether psychedelics can replace talk therapy, what happens when you make a decision to cut yourself off from feelings, and how to connect with real joy in your life.

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Ginger Minj: Living with Chronic Depression

Tue, 09 Nov 2021 08:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew are excited to welcome the star of 3 seasons of drag race and host of the podcast “Local Queen”, Ginger Minj. Ginger opens up about the chronic depression that has been with her for as long as she remembers. She reveals publicly for the first time, the trauma that was a part of her experience and how she has coped and moved forward in her life. Matt, Alec and Ginger talk about feeling out-of-control, being invalidated, the value of therapy, and lifelong healing.

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Jennifer Tilly: Self-Deprecating Humor

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew are excited to welcome Oscar-nominated actress from Bullets Over Broadway, world-class poker player, and star of the new Chucky television show, Jennifer Tilly. Jennifer opens up about growing up in a dysfunctional family, how she started to play the airhead, and how her use of self-deprecating humor has both worked for her and been a disservice to her in her life. Alec and Matt share their own experiences of using humor as a defense, struggling with imposter syndrome and learning to tell the difference between what we feel and what the truth actually is. Stay tuned for Jennifer’s wild stories from her long career in show business and why as a queer icon, she says she often finds herself running from lesbians!

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D.J.“Shangela” Pierce: What Drives You

Tue, 26 Oct 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew are excited to welcome star of RuPaul’s Drag Race Seasons 2 and 3 and All Stars Season 3, and star of the HBO hit show We’re Here, the amazing D.J. “Shangela” Pierce. Shangela shares the story of his upbringing and how he learned his work ethic from his family, how he ended up on Drag Race after only doing drag 10 times, and how he kept moving forward even after being shocked to be voted off first during Season 2! Shangela opens up about the mental strain of doing reality tv, what he learned about himself after throwing a drink at someone during the show, and the journey of finding his drag identity. Alec, Matt and Shangela share stories and insights, and a ton of laughs, about what keeps us moving forward no matter what comes our way.

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Beth Hall: How to Reset

Tue, 19 Oct 2021 07:03:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew are excited to welcome Beth Hall who starred for 4 seasons as Caroline on Mad Men and 7 seasons as Wendy on CBS’s hit show Mom. The three talk about the need to “reset” in your life and how we resist change and can let fear get in our way. Beth, having wrapped Mom, is back out there auditioning again and opens up about her fear of the unknown, her struggle to rebuild her confidence, and the power of saying YES. Stay tuned for Beth’s story about how she became a series regular on Mom and what she has to say about how Allison Janney reacted when her first scene was cut from the show!

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Alec and Matt: Alec not drinking

Tue, 12 Oct 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec opens up about why he made the decision to stop drinking. Alec gets real about how and when he realized he was drinking too much during the pandemic and the impact his alcohol use was having on his relationships. Matt and Alec talk about the importance of identifying the intention of why you drink, when you know you have a problem, blacking out, numbing out, and having the courage to be vulnerable and to talk about hard things.

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Navigating an open relationship Part 2: with Alec’s husband Jamie Hebert

Tue, 05 Oct 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec’s husband of 20 years, Jamie Hebert, is back to continue the conversation about why they decided to open up their relationship and the impact it has had on both of them. The feedback after Part 1 of this conversation was overwhelming and the listeners wanted to hear Matt’s perspective on navigating the complexity of open relationships. In this highly vulnerable and personal episode, Matt uses his clinical skills to explore the intimate details of Alec and Jamie’s relationship including the challenging time when Jamie fell for another man and Alec felt hurt, resentful and unsafe. In this episode, the three talk openly about the benefits of opening up your relationship. What makes it challenging? What about the difference between being polyamorous versus polysexual? How do you establish rules and what happens if, despite your best intentions, you end up hurting the person you love the most?

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Eureka: Feeling “Othered”

Tue, 28 Sep 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew are excited to welcome star of RuPaul’s Drag Race Seasons 9 and 10 and the popular “We’re Here” on HBO, the amazing Eureka. The three have a powerful and hilarious conversation about feeling “othered” and the healthy and unhealthy strategies they used to make people love and accept them. Eureka opens up about feeling how their femininity and size always made them feel different and how finding drag and having supportive people in their life, helped them heal from the past trauma and live with appreciation, acceptance and love.

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Tina Burner: Turning Adversity Into Strength

Tue, 21 Sep 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew are excited to welcome the star of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 13 and the reigning National Ms. Comedy Queen, Tina Burner to the show for an inspiring conversation about how to turn adversity into strength. Tina opens up about her challenging childhood and the impact that has had on her life. Matt, Alec, and Tina talk about becoming “parentified,” freeing yourself from the victim mentality and the helpful belief that everything happens for us, not to us. Stay tuned for Tina’s hilarious story of the time her father barged into her bedroom and found her in bed with a man!

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Jack Plotnick: Managing Anxiety

Tue, 14 Sep 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew are excited to welcome actor, writer, director, and beloved acting coach Jack Plotnick to the show for a fascinating conversation about managing anxiety. Alec and Matt open up about their own vulnerabilities and what makes them feel anxious. Jack shares the best of teachings including taming your vulture, the effectiveness of affirmations, the difference between want and need, the power of the release and destroy mentality and why giving yourself permission to “hate” people can release you from desperation and open you up to peace, love, and creative freedom.

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Denali: Negative Self-Talk

Tue, 07 Sep 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew talk with Denali, fan-favorite from RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 13, about how to overcome negative self-talk. Denali opens up about feeling invisible on the show and the deep-held belief that she isn’t enough. The three talk openly and hilariously about insecurities, external validation, re-writing unhelpful narratives, and learning to develop an internal sense of worthiness.

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Jackie Beat: Sex Positivity

Tue, 31 Aug 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew are excited to welcome drag entertainer for over 30 years, Jackie Beat to the show for an intimate and uncensored conversation about sex-positivity. Jackie Beat explains why she went over 20 years without sex and the three talks openly about shame, fear of rejection, self-worth, acceptance, and rediscovering your sexuality. Don’t miss the hilarious story of what happened on the gay cruise!

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Navigating an open relationship: with Alec’s husband Jamie Hebert

Tue, 24 Aug 2021 07:04:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec has an uncensored conversation with his husband of 20 years, Jamie Hebert. Jamie tells Alec how his messiness and disorganization make him crazy and Alec shares with Jamie how he can be controlling and a cold fish. Alec and Jamie talk about how they handle conflict and Jamie opens up about the maddest he ever got at Alec during their relationship. The two then share why after 14 years of monogamy, they made the decision to open up their relationship. They explore both the freedom and the hurt it has caused and discuss how having clear rules and a couple’s therapist has been essential to making it work for them.

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Kirsten Vangsness: Sexual Trauma

Tue, 17 Aug 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matt welcome the star of 15 seasons of the hit show Criminal Minds and her own YouTube show Kirsten’s Agenda, the talented Kirsten Vangsness. The three talk openly about Kirsten’s tumultuous family and the sexual trauma she experienced growing up. Matt, Alec, and Kirsten explore the physical and emotional impact of trauma, feeling dysregulated, navigating relationships, practicing skills to create balance, increasing well-being through therapy and other methods, and how to heal from your past and live well.

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Q & A: Hook-Up Culture

Tue, 10 Aug 2021 07:03:00 -0000

In this special Q & A episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matt respond to questions on the topic of hook-up culture! Questions like why does hooking-up sometimes feel warm and intimate and other times cold and distant? Does hooking up get in the way of forming deeper connections? Why do I associate sex with personal validation? And how do you compete with hook-up culture when all you want is a lasting relationship?

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Carson Kressley: Dating

Tue, 03 Aug 2021 07:03:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew are excited to welcome Emmy-Award-winning television personality and recurring judge on RuPaul‘s Drag Race and Barbeque Brawl, OG from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Carson Kressley to the show. Alec, Matt, and Carson have a hilarious and personal conversation about dating and relationships. Matt and Alec talk about how they behave when dating and explore the idea of attachment styles and what it helps them to understand about themselves. Carson shares what it is like for him to be single, his experiences on the dating apps, what he’s looking for in a partner, his thoughts about being alone, and what makes his life feel full.

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Laraine Newman: Longevity

Tue, 27 Jul 2021 07:03:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew have a fascinating conversation about longevity with founding member of The Groundlings, original cast member of Saturday Night Live, and author of the Audible original memoir May You Live In Interesting Times, the comedic genius Laraine Newman. Laraine opens up about how childhood neglect fostered her creativity, the SNL after-party scene, her addiction and recovery from cocaine abuse, healing from low self-worth, and her guiding forces of staying curious and following her passions. It’s a don’t miss episode and stay tuned for Laraine blowing Alec and Matt away with her incredible voiceover talent and whopping 4-octave range!

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50th Episode Special

Tue, 20 Jul 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew are thrilled to honor their 50th episode of the show! Alec tells the story of how the podcast began and the two share why they are so passionate about the show and about working with one another. Matt and Alec reflect on the personal challenges they’ve faced over the last year and how doing the podcast has helped them find strength and purpose. The two then look back on some of their favorite moments from the last year with guests like Ross Matthews, Alaska Thunderfuck, and Jodie Sweetin. Join Alec and Matt for a hilarious and moving celebration and stay tuned to hear what gave both of them uncontrollable church giggles and what moved them both to tears.

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Johnny Siblly: Post-Coming Out

Tue, 13 Jul 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew welcome actor, content creator, and star of the hit shows Hacks and Pose, Johnny Sibilly. The three have a candid and personal conversation about the after-process of coming out. Johnny opens up about his upbringing, why he was in and out of the closet many times, and why he feels that coming out was just the beginning of his journey. Alec, Matt, and Johnny talk about getting it wrong, internalized homophobia, working through shame, sex positivity, and the importance of having grace with yourself and with your loved ones throughout the process.

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Joely Fisher: Breaking the Cycle

Tue, 06 Jul 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew are thrilled to welcome the actor, singer, and writer of the bestselling memoir and one-woman show “Growing Up Fisher”, the multi-talented Joely Fisher. The three reveal the challenging experiences they had in their upbringings and how they are working to break the cycle in their lives as adults. Joely shares intimate details of what it was like being raised by Hollywood royalty and the addiction, chaos, and neglect that defined much of her childhood. Joely opens up about the death of her sister Carrie Fisher and how it impacted her then and now. Alec and Joely talk through their mutual experience of adopting a child of a different race and the steps they have taken to be the most attuned parents they can be. Throughout the episode, Alec, Matt, and Joely touch on being an emotional cripple, “blacktivities”, the power of the pussy, forgiveness, resilience, and the healing power of writing.

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Heather McDonald: Relationship Dynamics

Tue, 29 Jun 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew welcome writer/panelist from Chelsea Lately and host of her own top-rated podcast Juicy Scoop, comedian Heather McDonald. Alec, Matt, and Heather talk about the struggles of keeping long-term relationships healthy. The three also explore how our society often shames people for NOT being in long-term relationships and Matt shares his personal thoughts and feelings about that stigma. The three have an uncensored conversation about topics like, How do you fight well? How do you get your needs met? What do you do when you go through sexless periods? How do you change dynamics that aren’t working? Is a relationship unsuccessful if it doesn’t go the distance? And what have you learned about yourself that can make you a better partner to someone else?

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Cynthia Lee Fontaine: Out & Proud

Tue, 22 Jun 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew welcome drag race stand-out, artist, singer, and master of her “cucu” Cynthia Lee Fontaine. Alec and Matt share their coming out stories, their fears of being rejected, and the impact being in the closet had on their mental health. Cynthia Lee Fontaine tells the shocking story of how her mom found out her truth and the process of working through her mother’s feelings of betrayal. Cynthia explores the stigma of coming out in the Hispanic community and how she thinks things are evolving in a positive direction. The three talk about the journey of first coming out to yourself and then to others, the importance of having grace with loved ones during the process, and the freedom that comes from living in your own truth.

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Alec Baldwin: Cancel Culture

Tue, 15 Jun 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew are both nervous and excited to welcome television and movie superstar and host of the podcast “Here’s the Thing” Alec Baldwin. The three open up about cancel culture and share their personal stories of when they were canceled and “going into the hole” to escape and recover. Alec Baldwin shares his uncensored thoughts and feelings about celebrities who have been canceled, how the press can be aggressive and his responsibility to protect his family. The three talk about Alec’s portrayal of Donald Trump on SNL and why Alec thinks it was an important part of why Trump lost the election. Alec and Matt ask Alec what led to his decision to get sober in his 20’s and how he manages being a father to 7 kids! This is a conversation you won’t want to miss!

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Sherry Vine: Aging

Tue, 08 Jun 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew welcome drag legend for over 30 years and star of The Sherry Vine Variety Show, the hilarious Sherry Vine. Sherry starts the conversation by admitting she rarely ever talks about her age because of the stigma involved. The three talk about their fears of aging and the different spin getting older can have in the gay community. They examine our country’s obsession with youth culture and the danger of getting validation from external sources. Sherry opens up about being on the dating apps, the agelessness of drag, and having sex with straight-identifying men. Matt, Alec and Sherry talk candidly about the struggles of aging and also share the joy of knowing yourself better and living your best life.

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Daniel Franzese: Conversion Therapy

Tue, 01 Jun 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec, and Matthew welcome Damien from Mean Girls, actor, writer, and host of the podcast Yass Jesus, Daniel Franzese. Daniel opens up about being a survivor of conversion therapy and shares his thoughts and feelings about why he put himself into treatment to change his sexuality. Daniel talks about how his psychologist convinced him that it was his mother’s fault he was gay because she was too accepting. Daniel shares how the character of Damien inspired him and in many ways changed his life. Alec, Matthew, and Daniel talk and laugh about accepting themselves, their experiences with religious upbringing, and living proudly as your authentic self.

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Trixie Mattel: Elastic Thinking

Tue, 25 May 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew welcome word famous drag queen, star of the hit show “UNHhhh” and host of the podcast The Bald and the Beautiful, the hilarious Trixie Mattel. The three have a fascinating conversation on the topic of elastic thinking, what exactly it means and how it can help us to heal. Alec and Matt share how they have overcome trauma in their own lives and the tools they’ve used to build personal resilience. Trixie opens up about her abusive childhood including the surprising story of where the name Trixie originated. Trixie also opens up about the generational and cultural trauma that impacted her upbringing and about being half Ojibwe and yet also feeling culturally white.

Trixie shares how her drag persona is her fun vessel that enables her to live the life she has always wanted- dressing up pretty and playing with easy bake ovens. Trixie’s raw honesty and biting humor make this episode a must-hear and she will inspire you with her strong belief that whatever happens to us, we all have the choice to become victims or become survivors and to empower ourselves to create a life we love.

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Miss Coco Peru: Near Death Experiences

Tue, 18 May 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew have a fascinating conversation about near-death experiences and healing from trauma with drag legend for over 30 years, Miss Coco Peru. Alec and Matt open up about their own near-death experiences and how they have worked on healing themselves from early trauma. Miss Coco Peru shares the story of the harrowing accident that nearly took her life and how she was able to transform pain into power. Coco talks openly about how her relationship with her parents improved, her reaction to the bullying she endured evolved, and how she felt a renewed sense of strength from having survived the unthinkable. In this episode, you will learn about how to survive and thrive after trauma, the benefits of getting help when you need it, and most importantly, how to handle being upstaged by a snoring dog.

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Faith Soloway: Self-identity

Tue, 11 May 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew have a revealing and intimate conversation about self-identity with writer and producer of the Emmy-award winning show Transparent, Faith Soloway. Faith opens up about how the show is based on her own father’s transition later in life and yet is different than their personal story. Faith talks honestly about her own continuing ambivalence about whether or not she should have transitioned and reflects on how this struggle has impacted her life. Alec, Matthew, and Faith open up about their own journey with identity and how the conversation is evolving so rapidly that we often make mistakes. They discuss what to do when you misgender someone, reflect on having a non-trans person play the lead in Transparent, and talk through the challenge many have in accepting ambiguity and learning to be ok with not knowing. This episode is for anyone who identifies as transgender or questions their identity in any way feels less alone in their journey through life.

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Lady Bunny: Loneliness

Tue, 27 Apr 2021 07:05:00 -0000

Do you struggle dealing with loneliness? This episode of Hot Mess welcomes an Icon in the drag community, performer, actress, singer, DJ, and comedienne Lady Bunny. Hosted by comedian Alec Mapa and mental health expert Matthew Dempsey, the three talk openly and hilariously and share their personal experiences of feeling isolated and lonely. Alec opens up about his process of learning to accept being isolated, Matt shares his philosophy about why ok is the new thriving, and Lady Bunny calls out Alec for blowing her off. Lady Bunny also passionately shares about social media fronting, why talking on the phone is a lost art, and how we all have to navigate a wise return to socializing. In this episode, you will learn why it’s so important to get connected with our feelings of loss, how we can cope more effectively when we feel less connected and why reaching out to someone else and being vulnerable is as helpful to our health and wellness us as it is to our friends!

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Priyanka: Toxic Relationships

Tue, 13 Apr 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew explore the fascinating topic of toxic relationships with the winner of Canada’s Drag Race and Alec’s co-host of the “Official RuPaul’s Drag Race Podcast” Priyanka. Alec dives into his sex and love addiction history and his pattern of being addicted to toxic relationships. Alec and Matt explore how Alec’s childhood experiences have impacted his love of the chase and how he has had to work to re-learn what kindness in relationships feels like.

Priyanka gets real about her attraction to toxic partners and reflects on how her low self-worth has played a major role in the pain she has experienced in her relationships. Alec, Matt and Priyanka talk through how race, being gay, and feeling marginalized can shape a negative belief about ourselves and make us chase for approval and validation from others.

Priyanka shares openly about the healthy relationship she is in now and her journey to accepting love in the way she deserves it!

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Kalen Allen: Hustling for Self-Worth

Tue, 30 Mar 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew explore the topic of hustling for your self-worth with viral sensation from his food reaction videos, host of Cakealikes, and star of the Ellen Show, the hilarious Kalen Allen. Alec and Matt explore our tendency to tie our worth as a person to work and achievement. Both Matt and Alec open up about ending up depressed and depleted when they grasp for things outside of themselves to make them feel worthy.

Kalen Allen shares that he has been a workaholic ever since he can remember. Kalen explores how trying to earn his mom’s love through his achievements and struggling with a lack of belonging as a black gay man contributed to his need to push himself so relentlessly. The three talk openly and laugh a lot about how Kalen became a viral sensation, toxic masculinity, generational trauma, the moment Kalen ended up in the fetal position on the floor of his bathroom, taking time to just be, and why Kalen feels such a strong need to be a role model for future young, black queer men.

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BenDeLaCreme: How Our Struggles Shape Us

Tue, 23 Mar 2021 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey psychotherapist, Alec and Matt have a revealing and intimate conversation with creator and star of The Jinkx and DeLa Holiday Special and star of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 6 and RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 3, BenDeLaCreme. Alec opens up about how his “cracking up” led him to become the person he is today and Matt shares he’s been feeling down and isolated over the last year. The two talk about dealing with sadness and working to reframe difficult emotions and experiences in order to deal with them more effectively.

BenDeLaCreme talks openly about his struggles growing up-the unrelenting grief he felt after his mom died at age 13, his distant relationship with his father, the

pain of being bullied and beaten-up for being overweight and gay, and the depression and suicidal thoughts that he struggled with often. DeLa shares how she found drag at an early age and what the creation of DeLa means in her life and for her emotional well-being. DeLa shares her long and difficult journey to finally identifying the right mental health diagnosis and medication to treat her effectively.

Alec, Matt, and DeLa talk and laugh throughout the episode about their pain, struggles, the gift of therapy and the right medication, healing, and accepting and appreciating your whole complicated beautiful self.

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Tom Lenk: Shame Triggers

Tue, 16 Mar 2021 07:05:00 -0000

You won’t want to miss this special episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, in which Matt and guest, SAG award-winning actor, singer, Broadway star, comedian and accidental Instagram Superstar, Tom Lenk have a vulnerable and hilarious conversation about a video Matt posted online that triggered shame for both of them. The episode starts with Alec and Matt exploring shame triggers in their own lives and how they compensate for feelings of self-loathing. Both Alec and Matt share personal stories of feeling intense shame in their lives and they explore the physiological and psychological impact of the experience of shame.

Guest Tom Lenk then confronts Matt about a video Matt posted about his “Pretty Privilege” and Matt shares his regret and shame about the unanticipated negative response he got from his followers. Tom explores candidly why the video got him so “lathered up” and how it triggered in him feelings of not being attractive or good enough. The two have an exposing and vulnerable dialogue and work to understand each other’s perspectives and learn from what transpired.

The three go on to talk openly and laugh often about the benefits of long-term therapy, transference, feeling left out, and learning to love yourself!

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Jon Huertas: Abandonment

Tue, 09 Mar 2021 08:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew explore the topic of abandonment with Jon Huertas, Miguel on the iconic television show This Is Us. Matt and Alec open up about their abandonment issues and the familiar feeling of grasping for positive attention from parents. Jon speaks candidly about being abandoned by his mother and how he has strived his whole life to get her approval. He talks about the racism he encountered while growing up, how he became “adultified” at a young age, and how therapy has helped him gain perspective and cope with his feelings more effectively. Jon talks about the episode he directed, why he relates with Kevin’s character and what scene on This Is Us made him sob. Jon shares a hilarious story from the days when he and Alec were cater waiters together and Matt asks Jon for a preview of next season’s This Is Us!

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Alaska Thunderfuck: Reality Show Backlash

Tue, 02 Mar 2021 08:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew explore the topic of reality show backlash with the star of RuPaul’s Drag race season 5 and winner of All- Stars Season 2, and host of the podcast “Race Chaser” Alaska Thunderfuck. Alaska shares the intimate details of her relationship with ex Sharon Needles including how drugs, cheating, and fame tore them apart. Alaska opens up about her feelings of betrayal, anxiety and sadness after throwing a fit on RuPaul’s Drag Race and experiencing the backlash of her fans turning against her. The three explore themes of feeling like an alien, performing sober, dealing with the ups and downs of fame, how to protect your squishy parts from haters, and establishing a sense of self that transcends the difficulties life can bring.

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Mark Kanemura: Creativity

Tue, 23 Feb 2021 08:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Mathew explore the topic of the healing power of creativity with performer, artist, dancer, and Instagram sensation Mark Kanemura. Alec and Matt explore how they express their creativity and why it is helpful to our sense of well-being. Mark Kanemura opens up about his deeply painful past and the three talk candidly about their inner wounded child, their journey as misfits, and coming back from the brink. Mark shares what inspired him to create his hugely popular socially-distanced dance parties on Instagram and how he uses art as therapy to heal himself, find joy and connect to others.

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Jake Shears: Managing Depression

Tue, 16 Feb 2021 08:05:00 -0000

In this don’t miss episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Mathew have a deep, revealing and hilarious conversation with the lead singer of the iconic band Scissor Sisters and author of the book Boys Keep Swinging, Jake Shears. Alec and Matt start the show by talking about Alec’s despair, obsessing after a break-up and dating people who aren’t good for him. Jake joins the conversation and opens up about the depression and anxiety that came crashing in on him during the height of his fame and his journey to find a way to manage it. The three explore the topics of self-worth, attachment to people and things, and medication and therapy to treat mental illness. Jake talks for the first time about a recent break-up that left him reeling and Alec and Matt weigh in on co-dependency and how to heal after the loss of someone you love. Stay tuned for Jake’s fascinating story of being molested by a ghost in New Orleans!

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Malin Akerman: Recovering from Childhood Trauma

Tue, 09 Feb 2021 08:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Mathew explore the topic of recovering from childhood trauma with mom, child development coach, and actress from Billions and the Comeback Malin Akerman. Alec talks candidly about working through his childhood trauma and being raised by a father who struggled with rage. Alec explores how he learned to protect himself and reveals the affirmation he uses now to keep himself mentally healthy. Malin opens up about being raised by a mother who struggled with depression and a brother who dealt with OCD. Malin reflects on her tendency to take care of others, her fear of being vulnerable, and the feeling that she isn’t smart enough. Malin shares her passion for her work as a child development coach and the importance of staying present.

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Fortune Feimster: Out of Alignment

Tue, 02 Feb 2021 08:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec, and Mathew welcome Fortune Feimster, comedian, writer, a panelist from Chelsea Lately, and series regular on The Mindy Project. Matt and Alec start the show by talking honestly about their struggles feeling out of alignment. Alec talks about how he often derives his value from his work and Matt opens up about not pursuing things he cared about in the past because he was afraid of being inadequate. Fortune shares the struggles of her upbringing and her choice to use hard times as motivation instead of staying a victim. Fortune opens up about how she never stops working and losing her identity during the pandemic. In a funny and honest conversation, the three explore unlearning the negative stories we tell ourselves, having a toxic relationship with money, the glorification of busy, and the joy of being a homebody.

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Morgan Fairchild: Informed Wellness

Tue, 26 Jan 2021 08:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Mathew explore the fascinating topic of informed wellness with legendary actress from Dallas, Flamingo Road, and Falcon Crest Morgan Fairchild. In addition to her amazing acting talent, Morgan is also an outspoken and dedicated supporter of the AIDS research effort, the pro-choice movement and a range of environmental issues and she also has a deep interest in studying emerging viruses and epidemiology. Morgan shares with Alec and Matt her strong viewpoint on the spread of Covid-19 and her uncompromising opinion on how the virus containment efforts have been handled. She then reflects back on her time in the early 80’s being a strong advocate during the AIDS crisis. She shares personal stories about losing friends and work because she was deemed too controversial. Morgan also talks candidly about going from nerdy girl with coke bottle glasses to sex symbol, how she came to play The Bitch, and shares what it was like to improvise with the iconic Robin Williams on the set of Mork and Mindy.

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Jodie Sweetin: Pandemic Stress Triggers

Tue, 19 Jan 2021 08:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Mathew welcome the beloved star of Full House and Fuller House and the host of the podcast “Never Thought I’d Say this” Jodie Sweetin. Matt opens up about getting Covid and shares his thoughts and feelings about almost getting canceled by the gay internet for comments he made online. All three explore how they’ve been triggered by the pandemic and Jodie shares how she has been struggling with depression and anxiety. For the first time, Jodie reveals her issues with food control and how she stopped eating during the pandemic and wound up in the hospital. The three talk candidly about the power of surrender, self-worth as a birthright, and how to grow think skin yet maintain a soft heart.

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Charles Phoenix: Reinventing Yourself

Tue, 12 Jan 2021 08:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Mathew talk with American pop culture humorist, historian, performer, chef and author of “Holiday Jubilee” Charles Phoenix. Matthew and Alec discuss feeling blue, the pain of growth, our tendency to overthink things, and learning to live with who we are. Charles Phoenix shares the creative steps he has taken to reinvent himself during the pandemic and how he has trained his brain to think positively during this challenging time. Matthew and Alec examine the difference between choosing a positive mindset and the concept of toxic positivity when you refuse to acknowledge your emotional experience. On a lighter note, Charles shares with Alec and Matthew his love for all things retro and his ideas for fried cereal, and his world-famous cherpumple!

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Jonathan Lipnicki: Social Anxiety

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 08:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Mathew have a genuine and candid conversation with the child star of Jerry Maguire and the Stuart Little movies, Jonathan Lipnicki. Jonathan shares his surprising struggles with social anxiety and the worry that he’s unlikeable. Jonathan talks to Alec and Matthew about his paralyzing fear of messing up and the pressures he felt as a child star. He also opens up about the worst year of his life, the realization that vulnerability is a strength and explains how therapy has helped him move forward in his life. Alec shares his own struggles with anxiety and Matthew provides valuable insight about how to cope with anxiety and improve your mental health.

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Peppermint: Self Acceptance

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 08:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Mathew have a deep, candid and often hilarious conversation with actress, first out trans contestant on Rupal’s drag race, and singer of “Best Sex,” Peppermint. Alec talks about his struggles with sex and love addiction and Matthew shares his fear of commitment in relationships. The three talk openly about focusing on their imperfections, desperately looking for approval, feeling rejected in relationships, self-loathing, and their insecurities. Peppermint shares the dangerous reality of what it means to be trans in the world today and how she must protect herself. The three explore the power of intention and their road to self-acceptance.

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Rachel True: Neurotic Behavior and Anxiety Disorders

Tue, 08 Dec 2020 08:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey psychotherapist, Alec and Mathew explore their own neurotic behavior and Alec recalls a hilarious story of him lying on the floor of a hotel room desperate to spy on an ex. Then they welcome star of the cult classic film “The Craft” and author of “True Heart Intuitive Tarot” Rachel True. Rachel opens up about her childhood in foster care, her avoidant dating behavior, shares her passion for Tarot and why she thinks of it as a shrink in a box, and explains how to unlock the power of your own intuition.

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Isaac Mizrahi: Getting Out of Ruts

Tue, 01 Dec 2020 08:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey psychotherapist, Alec and Mathew have an uncensored and hilarious conversation with fashion icon, host and author of “I am” Isaac Mizrahi. The three talk about getting stuck in a rut in your work and in your relationships and how to get yourself out! Isaac talks openly about feeling estranged from his husband, sleeping in separate beds, his lifelong struggle with insomnia, his difficult childhood, his lifetime in therapy, and the impatience he feels most of the time. Alec and Matthew share honestly about the ruts in their lives and Matthew offers insight about how to get yourself unstuck and move forward!

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Yeardley Smith: Obsessive Productivity

Tue, 17 Nov 2020 08:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Mathew Dempsey psychotherapist, Alec and Mathew talk with Emmy-award winning actress Yeardley Smith, best known for her role as Lisa Simpson on the animated television show The Simpsons and host of the podcast Small Town Dicks. The three talk candidly about obsessive productivity and the dark side of deriving your self-worth from your accomplishments. Mathew and Alec discuss fear-driven giving and the shame that underlies our struggle to feel worthy. Yeardley shares openly about her long struggle with an eating disorder, the freak accident that almost left her paralyzed, and her personal journey to reclaiming her life.

Hi. Listeners, Hot Mess with Alec Mapa & Matthew Dempsey podcast, will be going on hiatus starting next week and we'll be returning on Dec. 1st! Thank you, Happy Thanksgiving!

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Mario Cantone: Election Night Aftermath

Tue, 10 Nov 2020 08:05:00 -0000

On this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Mathew Dempsey Psychotherapist, the hosts welcome celebrated actor and comedian Mario Cantone, known for his Tony Nominated One Man show “Laugh Whore”, his scene stealing performance as Anthony Marantino on Sex and The City and as host of the popular children’s program Steampipe Alley. The three have an uncensored and hilarious conversation about dealing with anxiety and stress in both helpful and unhelpful ways, cutting off family members, homophobia, secrets of the comedy world, coping with Tequila and so much more.

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Naomi Ekperigin: Self-care vs. Self-indulgence

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 08:03:00 -0000

On this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, the hosts welcome comedian and actress from “Two Dope Queens” and writer on “Broad City” Naomi Ekperigin. The three talk about self-indulgence versus self-care and share experiences from their own lives when they tipped one way or the other. They chat about dealing with your inner critic, overcoming self-loathing, seeking comfort during challenging times, the stigma of talking about mental health in comedy, and how in these difficult times, ok is the new thriving.

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Alec Mapa & Matthew Dempsey: Ask Alec and Matthew

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 07:05:00 -0000

On this episode of Alec Mapa Hot Mess with Psychotherapist Mathew Dempsey, the hosts take on listener questions. They discuss hot topics including how to recover from an abusive relationship, how to deal with loneliness, how to manage excessive worry about what other people think, how to shift your money mindset, and whether monogamy is possible. Alec opens up about experiences from his own life as a recovering sex and love addict and shares intimate details about the way he and his partner handle the issue of monogamy in their relationship. Mathew reflects on his own struggles and offers insights and tools to help you move forward in love and life.

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Nikki Blonsky: Coming out

Tue, 20 Oct 2020 07:05:00 -0000

Actress Nikki and Alec are good friends so she holds nothing back when she guests on Hot Mess! Nikki and Alec talk through her decision to come out for the first time on his Instagram Live and why she felt that was the exact right time to do it! Alec and Matthew share their stories of their first kisses with men and how making the decision to come out has totally changed their lives. The three talk openly about their greatest insecurities and Nikki shares a story about a date who did something so bizarre you won’t believe it!

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Wilson Cruz: Uncertainty Fatigue

Tue, 13 Oct 2020 07:05:00 -0000

In this intense episode of Hot Mess, Alec, Matthew and award-winning actor, Wilson Cruz, discuss “uncertainty fatigue” a pop culture name for the exhaustion and despair nearly everyone feels in these chaotic times. Starring in CBS All Access “Star Trek: Discovery,” Wilson says he feels deeply about all the horrific, global news, including the pandemic; a contentious election and the racist divide in the U.S. and elsewhere. He’s terrified that the country will take a hard-right turn and, is exhausted by all the emotions stirred up by our shared experiences.

Wilson is enthusiastic about the book, Caste: The Origins of Our Discontent, which he says puts our country’s race relations in an historical and socio-political perspective. Despite the book’s sometimes grim contents, he still feels hopeful. All three guys believe agree that most individuals are good, but they see themselves as part of an enlightened group that needs to speak out about injustice. They are dealing with their own uncertainty fatigue by finding hope and acknowledging that certainty is an illusion. Wilson says that he’s used his time to consider his life and think about changes he needs to make.

Anyone exhausted by despair of our precarious world, will find common ground and hope in this emotion-packed episode.

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Ross Mathews: Grief and Loss

Tue, 06 Oct 2020 07:05:00 -0000

This touching, wise and unwittingly funny episode of Hot Mess, is all about losing a loved one during the Covid19 pandemic and the stages of grief. Alec and Ross commiserate over their mothers’ deaths while Matthew adds his wisdom to the conversation. They share how they’ve coped with the horrible reality that death is final and harsh, but also agree that at point accepting it and finding some value in the loss is critical to your mental wellness.

The comic misses his mother deeply. She taught her son to value himself and go after whatever he wanted. When Ross expressed interest in show business, she supported him wholeheartedly. His deep bond with her now plays out sweetly on his Instagram cooking posts, where he practices the lessons learned long ago in her kitchen.

Ross also reveals the challenges he faced when as the Intern on “The Tonight Show.” He recalls how Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc, then at the height of NBC’s “Friends,” were cruel to him on camera and how it eventually came full circle, explaining that ten years later, Matt found Ross and apologized for his diva behavior. He ends the anecdote by saying, “I’m still waiting to hear from Matthew Perry.”

If you’re going through any kind of grief, you will find comfort in listening to this poignant podcast, as you can learn the process of healing, through acceptance and hope, and how it can actually add something to your life.

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Dr. Ian Smith: Guide To A Healthy Relationship With Food

Tue, 29 Sep 2020 07:05:00 -0000

Hot Mess hosts, Alec Mapa and Matthew Dempsey, get down right giddy during their raw and often x-rated conversation with Dr. Ian Smith, host of CBS’ “The Doctors.” Dr. Ian explains everything from how to eat, what to eat and when absolutely not to eat – all without depriving or food shaming yourself. Dr. Ian, a graduate of Dartmouth medical school and a New York Times bestselling author has penned multiple books about nutrition including, SHRED: THE REVOLUTIONARY DIET, SUPER SHRED, BLAST THE SUGAR OUT and THE CLEAN 20, and is the ultimate authority on living healthy by eating mindfully. This lively conversation will motivate you to think about how to use food sensibly, stop eating emotionally and start developing a positive way to better your body. If you want realistic tips to losing weight and keeping it off for good –subscribe and download this inspiring new episode of Hot Mess today!

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Nico Santos: Imposter Syndrome

Tue, 22 Sep 2020 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode, Filipino-American actor and comic, Nico Santos, joins Alec for a no-holds-barred discussion of Imposter Syndrome, the feeling almost everyone has of not being good enough. It’s only when Alec is doing standup that he’s free of his overwhelming anxiety because he’s in control. Nico reveals the paralyzing fear he experiences auditioning for big roles, like the mega hit romantic comedy Crazy Rich Asians and NBC’s “Superstore”, something he has never talked about before. The comedic actor says he is scared to fail and scared to succeed. When he does win a part, he is sure he’ll get fired.

Another story Nico hasn’t told is the horrifying experience of losing his eyesight while just beginning to work on an Off-Broadway play. What started with haziness in one eye, got worse as rehearsals went on. He would eventually go blind during one performance. Luckily he was treated and has regained much of his sight, but it fed into his anxieties about not being good enough to do the work he loved.

Psychotherapist and co-host, Matthew Dempsey says the feeling of not being good enough, or of being a fraud, is common. He jumps in with good advice for all of us: “Your fear is not you. It’s a part of you. Think of success as an island and enjoy it. You deserve it.” If you’ve ever felt inadequate to the task at hand, this is the show you should hear and take to heart.

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Bob the Drag Queen: Politics, Drag, and Race Relations

Tue, 15 Sep 2020 07:05:00 -0000

In today’s podcast of Hot Mess, HBO’s “We’re Here” star Bob the Drag Queen gets real about the on-going struggle of trans lives, our harsh political climate – as he queries: “Is this country really great again?” and reveals his fabulous new podcast which will dissect every film Whoopie Goldberg has ever made. Hilarity and heartbreak fill this discussion, as hosts, Alec Mapa and Dr. Matthew Dempsey, share stories with their guest about how the world of drag has taken on politics, and exposed its tragedies and triumphs in all cultures, specifically challenges for Native American Two-Spirits. As the three get side tracked and silly – they all come to the same realization: Dr. Matthew would not make a pretty drag queen and end with the most important hot message of all: Vote, vote, vote! If you have ever had questions about drag, trans lives or just want to laugh—download and subscribe today’s off-the-rails episode of Hot Mess!

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Cole Escola: Overcoming Panic Attacks

Tue, 08 Sep 2020 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode, Alec Mapa introduces his pal comedian Cole Escola to Hot Mess co-host Dr. Matthew Dempsey. Alec and Cole revel in personal self-deprecation and reveal hilarious moments when they both endured horrible panic attacks and anxiety—spoiler alert: Cole once shouted on the street like a crazy man until his former partner allowed him into this home. This over-the-top conversation is laced with brutal honesty, heartwarming vulnerability and brilliant words of wisdom from all three guys. Cole shares how he went from co-dependent relationships to building positive strategies using 12-step tools and focusing on his talents, writing and performing, to channel his energy into a healthier place. This episode will not only make you laugh, but provide you with the confidence to know whatever you’re facing, you’re not the only Hot Messin town, and there is always opportunity to get to a better place and love yourself!

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Bruce Vilanch: Radical Acceptance

Tue, 01 Sep 2020 07:05:00 -0000

In this episode of Hot Mess, hosts comedian Alec Mapa and Dr. Matthew Dempsey get deep with Emmy Award winning comedy writer Bruce Vilanch – the brilliant voice behind the Oscars and iconic stars like Bette Midler and Whoopi Goldberg. They discuss a range of issues from being gay in Hollywood, the Vietnam war draft, and the Covid19 pandemic and how radical acceptance has become a necessary tool in their lives. While radical acceptance teaches us tolerance skills designed to keep trauma from turning into suffering, they playfully talk about gay cruises, why one of them recently pooped their pants (download this podcast to find out which one) and the ways they cope with painful issues. For lots of laughs and tips on accepting what you can’t change – tune into this HOT MESS today.

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Karamo Brown: Cancel Culture

Tue, 25 Aug 2020 07:05:00 -0000

Today’s topic Cancel Culture gets Hot Mess hosts, Alec Mapa and Dr. Matthew Dempsey, hot and bothered, as they discuss with their guest, Netflix’ “Queer Eye” Karamo Brown, about this terrifying new phenomenon. All three guys admit to being on the ugly side of being cancelled and warn that everyone- if you dig deep enough, is at risk of being a target. This conversation gets very real – when Karamo opens up about, what he thought was, a harmless remark he made on the red carpet of “Dancing with the Stars,” and the shocking reaction on social media that followed. He admits he was shook. The backlash helped him realize it’s time to combat this type of mob aggression and help educate those inflicting cyber pain on others. Alec, Dr. Matthew and Karamo believe the way to best combat bullying is through kindness, empathy and education, but to also stand proud for what you believe in. On this beautiful, and somewhat hilarious, journey we learn why people engage in “mean girl” behavior and develop strategies and skills to kindly combat against it.

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Tracy Tutor: Overcoming Fear

Tue, 18 Aug 2020 07:05:00 -0000

Hot Mess’ Alec Mapa and Dr. Matthew get down to business with Tracy Tutor, real estate maven and author of the new book “Fear is Just A Four-Letter Word.” The “Million Dollar Listing LA,” blonde bombshell reveals she felt compelled to write this book in order to help others also facing daily terrors. She says making a connection with the people you’re meeting for the first time is crucial. She adds researching whomever you’re meeting, for a date or business, beforehand is huge. Knowing backgrounds, interests and motivations help her to connect in a human way and levels off anxiety. Dr. Matthew recommends making space for fear and not let it take over. Tracy does just that by taking a moment before she faces a challenge and takes deep breathes to calm herself. In this episode of Hot Mess – the take away is understanding you are not in this alone. If you face any type anxiety or fear – this episode will arm you with information about where fear stems from and coping strategies to help you battle it.

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Kym Whitley: Dealing With Pandemic Stress

Tue, 11 Aug 2020 07:05:00 -0000

Today’s topic is pandemic stress! But don’t stress, ‘cause Kym Whitley’s in the house! That’s right! In this episode, the comedic actress keeps it real on everything from finding love during Corona to why she was recently rushed to the hospital. Kym holds nothing back and shares how she’s raising her 9-year-old son Joshua during these stressful times. As racial tensions rise in this country, Kym opens up about the emotional moment her son realized his race and asked if he’ll end up like George Floyd. Alec admits his son doesn’t feel safe on the streets and shares his biggest secret to coping as a parent during a pandemic. Kym admits she’s an enabling parent and hopes to see her 86-year-old Dad soon. Find out her hot message of the day and why women should take off their bras and why Alec can’t eat ice cream anymore! Be sure to check out Kym’s podcast “Two Funny Mamas” with Sherri Shepherd.

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Dulce Sloan: Black Mental Health

Tue, 04 Aug 2020 07:05:00 -0000

In this week’s episode, Alec and Matthew talk to the very funny Dulce Sloan, a comedian and correspondent on Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show” with Trevor Noah. Dulce gets open and honest about Black Mental Health and the stigma in the black community surrounding the notion of going to therapy. Dulce was raised in a community that puts the welfare of black men before her own and admits she looks for mental health support within her own circle—for free! Self-care is something she’s still processing and reveals the one thing it would take for her to actually go to a therapist. Alec gets candid about his own personal journey with therapy and the importance that his son go to a black therapist. Does it matter the race of your therapist and how does that play into the healing process? Alec and Dulce dish on their recent experience working together on a film in Puerto Rico and her big on-set crush. Dulce shares her desire to be a Mom one day and reminds us all to check on your friends…even your strong ones!

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Sandra Bernhard: Parenting

Tue, 28 Jul 2020 07:05:00 -0000

How does being a parent magnify who you really are? In this week’s episode, Alec and Matthew breakdown the psychology of what it means to be a parent and shed light on the layers parenthood with comedian and actress Sandra Bernhard. The “Sandyland” SiriusXM radio host talks about why she decided to become a Mom later in life at 43 years old and how it changed her overall mindset. The outspoken actress reveals her selfless parenting style as a famous mom and how she was able to balance her family life and career. Sandy is working from her home recording her radio show but says she misses interacting with people on the road. Her 22-year-old daughter is back at home and admits it’s a learning process being under one roof as a family during quarantine. Alec shares his own personal journey navigating his way through parenthood and recounts the adoption process with his husband for his son Zion. Sandra, who plays the compassionate role of Nurse Judy on “Pose”, reveals the surprising way she got the role and describes the overwhelming feeling of playing a character who hits close to home for her. Find out Sandra’s “Hot message” of the day and how Alec was brainwashed by Lesbians! Say what now?

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Wendi McLendon-Covey: Depression

Tue, 21 Jul 2020 07:05:00 -0000

You know her as Beverly Goldberg in the hilarious TV show The Goldbergs and for her breakout role in the hit movie, Bridesmaids, but today comedic actress Wendi McLendon-Covey is getting personal as she uncovers her private struggles with depression and what she’s doing to deal with it head on. She describes the harrowing experiences in her life that made her realize it was a problem and how therapy played a role. Alec shares the unfortunate events in his life that led to his own depression and how medication also helped him cope. Do comedians and depression go hand in hand? Matthew talks about PDD or persistent depressive disorder, which is a milder form of depression. Plus, Wendi talks about going back to work on the set of The Goldbergs during covid and her big reunion with Kristen Wig in a hilarious upcoming movie!

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Dondre Whitfield: Masculinity

Tue, 14 Jul 2020 07:05:00 -0000

What exactly is masculinity and how does it define who you are? In this week’s episode, Alec and Matthew explore the topic of masculinity and uncover what being a “man” is really all about. Today’s guest is Emmy nominated actor, social activist and motivational speaker, Dondre Whitfield and the author of the new book, “Male Vs. Man: How To Honor Women, Teach Children And Elevate Men To Change The World”. The Hollywood Dad dives deep into the definition of toxic and hyper masculinity and reveals his most important role as a man. As a “righteous” man and ally to the LGBTQ+ community, Dondre says he’s received flack for supporting them andadmits they are a marginalized group of people just like the black community. Alec, who adopted a 5-year-old black boy 10 years ago, gets candid about the importance of having strong black role models in his son’s life and to participate in what he calls “blacktivities”. As a mentor to black men, Dondre talks about sexual fluidity, labels within a new generation and why it’s perfectly ok for real men to hug each other (pre-Covid, of course)!

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Dominique Jackson: Authenticity

Tue, 07 Jul 2020 07:05:00 -0000

The category is….AUTHENTICITY. Alec and Matthew are thrilled to talk to Dominique Jackson, the celebrated actress known for her role as Elektra Abundance on the critically acclaimed series, “Pose”. In today’s episode, Dominique shares her real-life personal struggles growing up in a religious family as she faced sexual abuse and her journey to find her authentic self. She describes her road to stardom and reflects on the moment she realized her life came full circle, including her experience working with other trans actresses including director Janet Mock. Originally from Trinidad & Tobago, the model gets candid about her past drug abuse, the misconceptions of sex work and how the ballroom changed her life. As a trans activist on the front lines helping to bring transgender issues to the forefront, she also explains what it really means to be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community and her positive message of love and acceptance.

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Kristen Johnston: Addiction

Tue, 30 Jun 2020 07:05:00 -0000

Hold on tight, get ready to laugh out loud and deal with your most personal issues with comedian Alec Mapa and psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey. In the premiere episode of “Hot Mess”, Alec goes down memory lane with his former college classmate and Emmy-Award winning actress Kristen Johnston. The real-life friends share Hollywood stories including the celebrities they replaced on “Ugly Betty” and how Kristen saved him from Madonna’s brother! Kristen, who currently plays a recovering addict on the CBS sitcom, “Mom”, reveals how addiction turned into one of her greatest gifts. She gets candid about her definition of addiction and how everyone faces their own struggles. Alec shares his personal recovery with sex and love and Kristen reveals intimate details of hitting rock bottom, coming close to death and how she was able to come out on the other side. Grab a copy of Kristen’s book, “Guts: The Endless Follies and Tiny Triumphs of a Giant Disaster”! ‘Cause remember, EVERYONE is a hot mess!

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Coming Soon!

Mon, 01 Jun 2020 16:25:00 -0000

HOT MESS is a laugh-out-loud podcast with Actor & Comedian Alec Mapa along with professional psychotherapist, Matthew Dempsey, who both explore the pursuit of health and wellness in a hilarious and compassionate way. Everyone’s trying to survive in a world that’s turned upside down, but beneath the surface we’re all a HOT MESS and the healing process can trigger intense feelings. But, have no fear, Alec and Matthew are here! They’ll zero in on an ISSUE OF THE DAY to compare and despair uncertainties, anxiety of social media, body image, aging in a youth-obsessed culture and unaddressed conflict that is HOLDING YOU BACK. They’ll discuss practical coping strategies and workable solutions that get down to the nitty gritty of what it takes to FEEL BETTER. All discussed with compassion, honesty, vulnerability and above all humor. Each week a celebrity guest will join them to discuss their own wellness journey including failures, frustrations, and ultimately what worked for them. By sharing real-life stories with complete candor, they aim to empower you with valuable information, the knowledge you’re not alone, we’re ALL works in progress and feeling good is the ultimate goal of anyone who’s a HOT MESS.

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