CineMortuary Podcast

Predator: Badlands (2025)

Sun, 10 May 2026 11:22:00 -0000

EPISODE 199 - Back in the world of Predator for their take on… Lightsabers and Baby Yoda??

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28 Years Later (2025)

Sun, 19 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 198 -

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Critters 2: The Main Course (1988)

Sun, 05 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 197 - Sure, these eggs contain killer alien critters, but is it REALLY any worse than how most Easter eggs don't contain chocolate in them anymore?

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Return to Silent Hill (2026)

Sun, 22 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 196 - With Willy away on Falcon duties, Rob and Dave pick the first eligible film of 2026. Let’s hope it’s not an omen for the year ahead…

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Curse II: The Bite (1989)

Sun, 01 Mar 2026 08:42:00 -0000

EPISODE 195 - ...and this is why we shouldn't trust AI.

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The Haunting (1999)

Sun, 15 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 194 - There's nothing to fear but fear itself... and a creaky spiral staircase.

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Carry on Screaming (1966)

Sun, 01 Feb 2026 06:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 193 - This means that 29 other Carry On films are eligible for the podcast too. Hide your nagging wives.

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Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween (2018)

Sun, 18 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 192 - Another lovely trip to the OG of horror for us 90s kids. Listener beware, you're in for a scare.

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Frankenstein (2025)

Sun, 04 Jan 2026 06:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 191 - ...in which we bear witness the biggest monster in cinematic history. But enough about Netflix.

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Santa's Slay (2005)

Sun, 21 Dec 2025 06:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 190 - Bill Goldberg's third winning streak was a bit more violent than the previous two. Ho ho hoes!

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The Butterfly Effect 2 (2006)

Sun, 07 Dec 2025 09:28:00 -0000

EPISODE 189 - Just stay back a few minutes until the truck passes by, FFS.

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A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 188 - Halloween’s sequel was a continuation, Friday the 13th’s a retread. Elm Street, meanwhile, uhm… Kinda gay.

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Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

Sun, 09 Nov 2025 05:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 187 - After the nonsense of War of the Worlds, the lads settle for a diet of meat and potatoes to bring them back on an even keel. Just when you thought it was safe to go back to Crystal Lake...

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War of the Worlds (2025)

Sun, 26 Oct 2025 05:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 186 - No one would have believed in the current years of the twenty-first century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man's and yet as mortal as his own; that as men busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinised and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinise the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Amazon customers who bought this also bought the Amazon Kindle Fire HD 10 tablet.

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Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

Sun, 12 Oct 2025 08:29:00 -0000

Join Rob, Dave, Willy, and Neymar Jr Yu-Gi-Oh card on a trip down ol’ London Town as Goth Johnny Depp and Goth Helena Bonham Carter do goth pie things (not a euphemism).

PLUS, the 8th annual TURDIES awards are upon us.

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Cube 2: Hypercube (2002)

Sun, 28 Sep 2025 04:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 184 - The best use of a Cube in CineMortuary history until Episode 186.

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Dead Space (1991)

Sun, 14 Sep 2025 05:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 183 - Star Wars & Aliens & Bryan Cranston & Space AIDS.

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Birdemic 2: The Resurrection (2013)

Sun, 31 Aug 2025 05:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 182 - Alfred Loadofcock presents: a slightly knowing sequel to one of the worst films ever made. Sincerity is for the birds.

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Prey (2022)

Sun, 17 Aug 2025 08:24:00 -0000

EPISODE 181 - Predator proves things were better back in his day by having a proper, old school scrap in Native America.

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Psycho III (1986)

Sun, 03 Aug 2025 04:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 180 - Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the creepy arse motel.

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Bat Thumb / Frankenthumb / The Blair Thumb (2001-02)

Sun, 20 Jul 2025 04:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 179 - In the quest of winning awards, Willy's choice sticks out like a sore thumb... as in there are thumbs, and Rob and Dave are quite sore about it.

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Maniac (2012)

Sun, 06 Jul 2025 05:44:00 -0000

EPISODE 178 - It was acceptable in the 2010s / It was acceptable at the time...

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Red Dragon (2002)

Sun, 22 Jun 2025 04:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 177 - We dive back into the Hannibal Cinematic Universe. Hannibal does naff all, he's just happy to be here.

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The Final Destination (2009)

Sun, 08 Jun 2025 06:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 176 - We celebrate this year's release of Final Destination Bloodlines with what is THE Final Destination... from 2009. Spoiler: not THE final one.

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Friday the 13th (2009)

Sun, 18 May 2025 07:21:00 -0000

EPISODE 175 - False starts and memories are abound as the lads revisit more Platinum Dunes landfill.

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A Christmas Carol (2000)

Sun, 27 Apr 2025 04:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 174 - Merry Christmas everyone???

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Hannibal (2001)

Sun, 13 Apr 2025 09:05:00 -0000

EPISODE 173 - Almost 100 episodes later, we check in on Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling in what was big box office business at the time. Just don’t expect them to spend any quality time together.

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Bride of Re-Animator (1990)

Sun, 23 Mar 2025 06:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 172 - HP Lovecraft's much too silly Frankenstein gets a much too silly Bride. Plus a head with bat wings, and a yeeted zombie dog.

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Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)

Sun, 02 Mar 2025 05:50:00 -0000

EPISODE 171 - Your mother makes artistic compromises in Hell.

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Jaws 2 (1978)

Sun, 26 Jan 2025 06:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 170 - Just when you thought it was safe to go back into your podcast app.

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The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)

Sun, 05 Jan 2025 10:05:00 -0000

EPISODE 169 - New year, new all timer of a shitter?

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The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

Mon, 16 Dec 2024 06:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 168 - There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as actually picking a Christmas film this year and also here's The Muppets.

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Army of Darkness (1992)

Sun, 01 Dec 2024 05:30:00 -0000

EPISODE 167 - Bruce Campbell's Flying Circus

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From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money (1999)

Sun, 17 Nov 2024 06:30:00 -0000

EPISODE 166 - I want my Texas Blood Money back.

Get NordVPN 2Y plan + 4 months extra here ➼ https://nordvpn.com/fspn It’s risk-free with Nord’s 30-day money-back guarantee! -

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Suspiria (2018)

Sun, 20 Oct 2024 09:52:00 -0000

EPISODE 165 - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Suspiria girl, I wanna get close to you...

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Firestarter (2022)

Sun, 06 Oct 2024 10:56:00 -0000

EPISODE 164 - Zac Efron: Dad, and other horrific tales about the passage of time. Then we crown the 7th annual TURDIES award winners. Yes, 7th... Time.

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Godzilla Minus One (2023)

Sun, 08 Sep 2024 06:54:00 -0000

EPISODE 163 - Turns out the best Godzilla films don't involve teaming them with monkeys, hiding them in plumes of smoke, nor enticing them with Matthew Broderick's lot of fish.

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Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2010)

Sun, 25 Aug 2024 07:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 162 - Guillermo del Toro presents: Gaslighting Children.

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Robocop 2 (1990)

Sun, 11 Aug 2024 06:33:00 -0000

EPISODE 161 - Horror or not, you're coming with me.

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A Quiet Place Part II (2020)

Sun, 21 Jul 2024 08:59:00 -0000

EPISODE 160 — Sssssshhhhhhh!

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Phantasm II (1988)

Sun, 23 Jun 2024 07:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 159 - Balls to the wall, then to the face.

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The Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983)

Sun, 26 May 2024 14:51:00 -0000

EPISODE 158 - A film that probably shouldn't exist.

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Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)

Sun, 12 May 2024 06:00:04 -0000

EPISODE 157 - I love the Power Glove, it's so bad.

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Cruel Jaws / Jaws 5 (1995)

Sun, 28 Apr 2024 06:00:04 -0000

EPISODE 156 - Jaws 5: The Remix.

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10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

Sun, 31 Mar 2024 06:00:02 -0000

EPISODE 155 - The Cloverfield series rises from the ead like Jesus on an Easter Sunday as John Goodman, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and the other bloke get cozy inside a prepper's dream/nightmare.

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Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1920)

Sun, 10 Mar 2024 07:25:01 -0000

EPISODE 154 - Besmirching a silent film through the sounds of three men talking about it? Damn your interference!

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Willard (2003)

Sun, 25 Feb 2024 07:00:02 -0000

EPISODE 153 - They're remaking any old horror film in the hope it works for a more modern audience? Ah, rats!

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Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992)

Sun, 11 Feb 2024 07:05:01 -0000

EPISODE 152 - Our longest episode to date is 2+ hours of Willy fanboying. Sorry about that. And, for the love of Bob, WATCH THE TV SERIES FIRST.

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Silent Hill: Revelation (2012)

Sun, 28 Jan 2024 06:45:01 -0000

EPISODE 151 - Will Sean Bean die early or somehow stay away for most of the film? Cheque, please!

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Dawn of the Dead (1978)

Sun, 14 Jan 2024 07:00:02 -0000

CineMortuary is 150. To celebrate, let's go shopping!

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Krampus (2015)

Fri, 22 Dec 2023 07:40:02 -0000

EPISODE 149 - We picked an actual Christmas film this year, ho ho ho!

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Happy Death Day 2U (2019)

Sun, 10 Dec 2023 09:12:02 -0000

EPISODE 148 - 1000 Ways to Die, Junior Edition.

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V/H/S/2 (2013)

Sun, 26 Nov 2023 07:10:02 -0000

EPISODE 147 - M/I/X/E/D/B/A/G

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Dracula 3D (2012)

Sun, 12 Nov 2023 07:05:01 -0000

EPISODE 146 - The worst thing to happen to Dracula since 90% of the other adaptations.

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Halloween II (1981)

Sun, 29 Oct 2023 07:25:01 -0000

EPISODE 145 - The beginning of season 7 sees the lads tackle one of the OGs in sequels continuing where the original ended, except somehow everyone is 3 years older and Doctor Loomis is now a total idiot. Pass the banana skin.

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Paranormal Activity: Tokyo Night (2010)

Sun, 15 Oct 2023 06:15:02 -0000

EPISODE 144 - Sidequels are added to the CineMortuary pantheon as the Japanese do their own thing by also doing bugger all. PLUS, it's time for the 6th annual TURDIES Awards, recognising the best, worst, and best of the worst films we reviewed all year.

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28 Weeks Later (2007)

Sun, 24 Sep 2023 10:53:29 -0000

We're the famous zombie hoard and we're off to Wembley! WEM-BER-LY! WEM-BER-LY!

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Cape Fear (1991)

Sun, 10 Sep 2023 05:30:02 -0000

EPISODE 142 - After Bart starts receiving death threats from his nemesis Sideshow Bob, the Simpsons enter the Witness Relocation Program and move to a "Cape Fear"-esque town several miles away.

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Blade: Trinity (2004)

Sun, 27 Aug 2023 05:30:02 -0000

If I had to team with that "d*ckface" owner of Wrexham I'd be annoyed too.

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Vampires: Los Muertos (2002)

Sun, 13 Aug 2023 05:55:01 -0000

EPISODE 140 - Jon Bon Jovi done gone crazy.

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Ring 2 (1999)

Sun, 30 Jul 2023 06:00:02 -0000

Naomi Watts and the creepy kid return for a second taping of the-- Wh-- What? Japanese version?!

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Plan 9 (2015)

Sun, 16 Jul 2023 10:05:51 -0000

Mystery Science Theater 3000 Will Eat Itself.

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Terrifier 2 (2022)

Sun, 25 Jun 2023 06:00:02 -0000

Hey hey! Hope you're ready for the Firefly Fun House in half-speed because BLOODY HELL TWO AND A HALF HOURS?!?!

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Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

Sun, 04 Jun 2023 05:10:01 -0000

Just one more fight about a lot of things
And I will give up everything
To be on my own again
Free again, YYYEEEAAAHHHHH

Snickers Cruncher presents the grandaddy of them all, CineMortuary...

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2001 Maniacs (2005)

Sun, 21 May 2023 05:45:01 -0000

The south will rise again... IN MY PANTS.

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House of Wax (2005)

Sun, 07 May 2023 09:21:10 -0000

Five years in the making, the lads finally watch the correct version of House of Wax. It's 2005 so prepare for some fun time Paris Hilton-shaped misogyny hahaha lol.

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Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011)

Sun, 23 Apr 2023 07:41:01 -0000

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Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004)

Sun, 09 Apr 2023 09:16:49 -0000

Willy returns and, having missed the last Scooby Doo episode, decides to do something unprecedented by picking two films from the same series in a row. RUH ROH

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Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

Sun, 19 Mar 2023 09:55:33 -0000

Frankenstein's Monster gets stitched.

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Fright Night (2011)

Sun, 26 Feb 2023 07:15:01 -0000

Rob and Dave put the frighteners on the surprisingly star-studded remake of Fright Night. But does it have the same razzamatazz as a Peter Vincent show?

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Scooby Doo (2002)

Sun, 12 Feb 2023 10:21:55 -0000

RUH-ROH!

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Pulse (2006)

Sun, 29 Jan 2023 06:00:02 -0000

Another episode of Dave's bad Japanese remakes takes us to the good old days of 2006, where everything is pixellated and that light shade of teal, and those computer monitors are especially chonky.

Hosted by Dave Walker, Rob Yeomans and Chris Wilson

Edited by Chris Wilson

Follow us on social media @cinemortuary

Support the We Made This podcast network on Patreon:
www.patreon.com/wemadethis
Twitter: @we_madethis
Facebook/Instagram: We Made This
wemadethisnetwork.com

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The Purge: Anarchy (2014)

Sun, 15 Jan 2023 07:00:01 -0000

In a society where murder is legal for a night, the lads go absolutely crazy by poking this film with a stick. But, like, a giant stick... almost a branch.

Hosted by Dave Walker, Rob Yeomans and Chris Wilson

Edited by Chris Wilson

Follow us on social media @cinemortuary

Support the We Made This podcast network on Patreon:
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Twitter: @we_madethis
Facebook/Instagram: We Made This
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Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust (2008)

Mon, 26 Dec 2022 06:15:02 -0000

We made the mistake of letting Chris pick the Christmas episode....... again. Be wowed by the lack of snow in a studio parking lot as we are given the greatest gift of them all: attempted comedy.

(AKA - Gingerdead Man 2: Bakery of Blood)

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Aliens (1986)

Sun, 11 Dec 2022 07:00:02 -0000

EPISODE 125 - Dave's pick is the actual Aliens - not an Italian ripoff or canonical parody tribute. The real thing. Find out our thoughts on James Cameron's masterpiece, mainly "we prefer Alien 3".

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In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

Sun, 27 Nov 2022 07:00:02 -0000

EPISODE 124 - Denied his nu-metal Dracula 2000 masterpiece, Rob turns to the finale of John Carpenter's apocalypse (thematic) trilogy in which... THAT'S GOTTA BE KANE!

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Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

Sun, 06 Nov 2022 06:40:01 -0000

EPISODE 123 - A tale as old as time itself: you go to The Dracula Experience in Whitby, and then you get grand ideas for podcast episodes. A wooden stake through the heart sounds good right now.

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House II: The Second Story (1987)

Sun, 23 Oct 2022 05:00:02 -0000

EPISODE 122 - Dig up your great grandpa and fight off dinosaurs in your quest to figure out the baffling subtitle of this film. Wait, it's a pun?!

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Fear Street Part Two: 1978 (2021)

Sun, 09 Oct 2022 03:00:02 -0000

EPISODE 121 - Plus the 5th annual TURDIES awards.

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Ghost Rig 2: The Legend of the Sea Ghost (2004)

Sun, 18 Sep 2022 09:18:56 -0000

EPISODE 120

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The Mangler 2 (2001)

Sun, 04 Sep 2022 06:59:08 -0000

EPISODE 119

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Psycho (1998)

Sun, 14 Aug 2022 06:00:02 -0000

EPISODE 118

This episode was recorded before the sad, untimely passing of Anne Heche. RIP.

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I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)

Sun, 24 Jul 2022 08:56:03 -0000

EPISODE 117 - Jennifer Love Hewitt has never had a film certified 'Fresh' on Rotten Tomatoes, and oh look here's Jack Black as a weed-smoking rasta white man. Better crack open the bottle of Brandy.

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HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

----

CineMortuary on the socials: @cinemortuary

Support the We Made This podcast network on Patreon:
www.patreon.com/wemadethis

We Made This on Twitter this week: @we_madethis
wemadethisnetwork.com

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Crocodile 2: Death Swamp (2002)

Sun, 10 Jul 2022 13:35:47 -0000

EPISODE 116 - A criminal heist film that turns into a CROCODILE DEATH SWAMP? Best film ever.

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HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

----

CineMortuary on the socials: @cinemortuary

Support the We Made This podcast network on Patreon:
www.patreon.com/wemadethis

We Made This on Twitter this week: @we_madethis
wemadethisnetwork.com

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Piranha 3D (2010)

Sun, 19 Jun 2022 06:00:03 -0000

EPISODE 115 - Tits and fish... in 3D!!! What more do you want?

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HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

----

CineMortuary on the socials: @cinemortuary

Support the We Made This podcast network on Patreon:
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We Made This on Twitter this week: @we_madethis
wemadethisnetwork.com

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Scream 3 (2000)

Sun, 05 Jun 2022 06:10:01 -0000

EPISODE 114 - What If horror embraced a meta sequel With Arms Wide Open? Are You Ready for One of the Higher tier episodes of the podcast? My Sacrifice.

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HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

----

CineMortuary on the socials: @cinemortuary

Support the We Made This podcast network on Patreon:
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We Made This on Twitter this week: @we_madethis
wemadethisnetwork.com

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Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

Sun, 15 May 2022 11:48:57 -0000

EPISODE 113 - Chris is still absent, but Busta Rhymes is here to karate kick Michael Myers through a window and that's far better.

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HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

----

CineMortuary on the socials: @cinemortuary

Support the We Made This podcast network on Patreon:
www.patreon.com/wemadethis

We Made This on Twitter: @wmt_network
wemadethisnetwork.com

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Fantasy Island (2020)

Sun, 24 Apr 2022 06:00:02 -0000

EPISODE 112 - Rob and Dave's fantasy is to do a podcast without Chris going off-topic all of the time. Be careful what you wish for.

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HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

----

CineMortuary on the socials: @cinemortuary

Support the We Made This podcast network on Patreon:
www.patreon.com/wemadethis

We Made This on Twitter: @wmt_network
wemadethisnetwork.com

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A Chinese Ghost Story II (1990)

Sun, 03 Apr 2022 06:15:02 -0000

EPISODE 111 - Dave's choice, Rob's headache; the usual.

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HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

----

CineMortuary on the socials: @cinemortuary

Support the We Made This podcast network on Patreon:
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We Made This on Twitter: @wmt_network
wemadethisnetwork.com

Cheap plug for What The Film Club Leeds: @whatthefilmclub

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Bride of Chucky (1998)

Sun, 20 Mar 2022 08:51:26 -0000

EPISODE 110 - It's finally time to meet Chucky, but this Chucky has a missus, a motorhome, and bloody loves his nu-metal.

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HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

----

CineMortuary on the socials: @cinemortuary

Support the We Made This podcast network on Patreon:
www.patreon.com/wemadethis

We Made This on Twitter: @wmt_network
wemadethisnetwork.com

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Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007)

Sun, 06 Mar 2022 07:15:02 -0000

EPISODE 109 - It's a full blown Texas Battle as Henry Rollins fights inbreds in the midst of woodland and reality TV contestants. Could this be the most mid-2000s slasher film ever?

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HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

----

CineMortuary on the socials: @cinemortuary

Support the We Made This podcast network on Patreon:
www.patreon.com/wemadethis

We Made This on Twitter: @wmt_network
wemadethisnetwork.com

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Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

Sun, 20 Feb 2022 07:15:02 -0000

EPISODE 108 - DO YOU REMEMBER NOSTALGIA?

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NOTE: This podcast was recorded on January 9th 2022. RIP Ivan Reitman.

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HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

BACKGROUND JINGLING
Mamba the Cat

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CineMortuary on the socials: @cinemortuary

Support the We Made This podcast network on Patreon:
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We Made This on Twitter: @wmt_network
wemadethisnetwork.com

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Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)

Sun, 06 Feb 2022 07:10:01 -0000

EPISODE 107 - Will Chris read all of his notes before his phone runs out of charge?? He'll have to read them faster than Colin McRae.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wmadethis
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Basket Case 2 (1990)

Sun, 23 Jan 2022 07:45:02 -0000

EPISODE 106 - Do you have the time to listen to us whine? If so, we review Basket Case 2 between discussing Boglins, portable X-ray machines and NFTs.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

TOPPED AND TAILED BY
Dave Walker

@cinemortuary, @wmt_network

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Candyman (2021)

Sun, 09 Jan 2022 07:45:02 -0000

EPISODE 105 - Just what the world needed: three white guys talking about the plight of minority filmmakers and the evils of 'metrics'.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

CINEMORTUARY - @CineMortuary
WE MADE THIS - @wmt_network

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Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)

Sun, 19 Dec 2021 07:35:02 -0000

EPISODE 104 - IT'S GAARRBBAGGGEE DAY! This sequel to everyone's favourite murderous Santa (except for Bill Goldberg in Santa's Slay) contains 55% original footage.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wmt_network

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Carnosaur 2 (1995)

Sun, 12 Dec 2021 09:23:25 -0000

EPISODE 103 - What do you do when you're Roger Corman and you have a massive dinosaur sat in storage? Another Aliens rip-off, of course!

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wmt_network

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Terminator II (1989)

Sun, 28 Nov 2021 08:00:02 -0000

EPISODE 102 - AKA: Shocking Dark, here's big balls Bruno Mattei abusing Italy's lax copyright laws to create a film called Terminator II, which rips off Aliens. Obviously one of Dave's picks.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

CineMortuary: @CineMortuary
We Made This: @wmt_network

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Cat People (1982)

Sun, 14 Nov 2021 08:00:14 -0000

EPISODE 101 - Season 5 begins with a steamy, erotic, incestuous tale of mislabelled panthers. Strangely not one of Dave's picks.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

CRUNCHER OF KEYS
Mamba the Cat

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

CineMortuary: @CineMortuary
We Made This: @wmt_network

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The Thing (1982)

Sun, 17 Oct 2021 06:05:15 -0000

EPISODE 100 - There was only one way we could ever celebrate hitting the century. No crappy 2011 version or video game here, just the bonafide king of horror remakes in John Carpenter's The Thing. Plus a special Q & A and the 4th annual TURDIES awards.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wmt_network (thank you for hosting our nonsense for so long!)

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Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)

Sun, 10 Oct 2021 06:05:11 -0000

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY

The boys try to walk-through Wes Craven's proto-meta horror film with the detail it deserves. Meanwhile, a white fluffy monster destroys the recording studio around them.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

DESTROYER OF STUDIOS
Mamba the Cat

CINEMORTUARY: @CineMortuary
WE MADE THIS: @wmt_network

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Killer Crocodile 2 (1990)

Sun, 19 Sep 2021 06:00:10 -0000

EPISODIO 98 - Il tuffo di Dave nel bidone della merda raggiunge livelli assurdi mentre sceglie un'altra fregatura di Jaws, questa completamente doppiata in italiano.

OSPITATO DA
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

MODIFICATO DA
Dave Walker

WE MADE THIS: @wmt_network
CINEMORTUARY: @cinemortuary

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The Omen (2006)

Sun, 05 Sep 2021 08:48:37 -0000

EPISODE 97 - Just because you can release a film about the Antichrist on the date 6/6/6, it doesn't mean you should.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
The Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wmt_network
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Body Snatchers (1993)

Sun, 22 Aug 2021 08:25:54 -0000

EPISODE 96 - Get the cool girls, the military and rocket launchers ready as Abel Ferrera gives the 'Body Snatchers' story a distinctly 90s makeover.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

CineMortuary: @CineMortuary
We Made This: @wmt_network

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Howling: New Moon Rising (1995)

Sun, 25 Jul 2021 07:00:01 -0000

EPISODE 95 - The lads are finally back in the same room together, and face-to-face communication makes bribery so much easier as Dave picks what could be the worst film they've ever seen. Does it even constitute a film?

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

INTRODUCING
Mamba the Cat

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wmt_network

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Leprechaun in the Hood (2000)

Sun, 11 Jul 2021 06:00:19 -0000

EPISODE 94 - Ever hear the one about Warwick Davis and his contacts in the ostrich world?

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Chris Wilson

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wmt_network

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Stepfather II: Make Room for Daddy (1989)

Sun, 27 Jun 2021 06:00:17 -0000

EPISODE 93 - Stepfather II: Make Way For Willy as he introduces the seminal horror series starring Terry O'Quinn to the lads. 'Seminal' as in they had no idea it existed, doodah doodah.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Chris Wilson

CineMortuary: @CineMortuary
We Made This: @wmt_network

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The Food of the Gods (1976)

Sun, 13 Jun 2021 07:00:49 -0000

EPISODE 92 - The lads travel to an island where nature strikes back. Hope you're ready for an array of giant cocks.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wemadethispod

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Return of the Living Dead: Part II (1988)

Sun, 23 May 2021 06:40:11 -0000

EPISODE 91 - A barrel of Trioxin destroys Rob's Internet in the middle of a Michael Jackson-led zombie uprising.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

CineMortuary: @CineMortuary
We Made This: @WeMadeThisPod

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Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)

Sun, 02 May 2021 07:00:10 -0000

EPISODE 90 - It's Chonke vs Monke in the greatest fight in the history of ancient monsters. If only those pesky humans would get out of the way...

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson (R.I.P.)
'The Iron Man' Rob Yeomans (R.I.P.)

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wemadethispod

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Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead (2014)

Sun, 18 Apr 2021 07:00:13 -0000

EPISODE 89 - The finale of the Chris Linay Trilogy™ sees The Best Big Man in Podcasting take the Haunting Henchman of Horror and the Muscle-Bound Meat Man of the Macabre on a zombie-riffic trip to... Norway? Yes way!

HOSTED BY
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

SPECIAL GUEST HOST
Chris Linay

Support the We Made This podcast network on Patreon:
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CineMortuary on Twitter: @CineMortuary
We Made This on Twitter: @wmt_network
wemadethisnetwork.com

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Village of the Damned (1995)

Sun, 04 Apr 2021 07:00:19 -0000

EPISODE 88 - Chris Linay returns to talk about some children who know all your secrets. Now you're thinking, ''I hope that's shepherd's pie in my knickers.''

HOSTED BY
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

SPECIAL GUEST STAR
Chris Linay

EDITED BY
Chris Wilson

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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American Psycho 2 (2002)

Sun, 21 Mar 2021 12:30:15 -0000

EPISODE 87 - Graps and Claps' Chris Linay joins us for one of the more infamous sequels in film history. Bad things, sad things, have to happen.

HOSTED BY
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

SPECIAL GUEST STAR
Chris Linay

EDITED BY
Chris Wilson

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Dark Water (2005)

Sun, 07 Mar 2021 13:00:15 -0000

EPISODE 86 - It's fookin' pissing it down.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Chris Wilson

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

Technical note: Dave was suffering from a two-second delay. The audio has been cleaned up where possible. Please contact @dancinghenry if you would like a refund.

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The Crazies (2010)

Sun, 21 Feb 2021 12:08:25 -0000

EPISODE 85 - We keep picking films that hit a bit too close for home at the moment. Sorry. Remember: HANDS. FACE. FIRE.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Saw II (2005)

Sun, 07 Feb 2021 08:00:07 -0000

EPISODE 84 - After our diversion on the Starship Enterprise, it's time to go back to our roots with some torture p**n.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

CINEMORTUARY: @cinemortuary
WE MADE THIS: @wemadethispod

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Star Trek: First Contact (1996)

Sun, 24 Jan 2021 08:00:18 -0000

Star Trek: First Contact, according to Dave, is in a lot of parts a "PG-13 HR Giger gothic horror film". So there. Chris will not say the line.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wemadethispod

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Hatchet III (2013)

Sun, 03 Jan 2021 08:00:06 -0000

EPISODE 82 - Bringing in 2021 the only way we know how: with giblets and raw meat.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

We Made This Network: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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A Christmas Horror Story (2015)

Sun, 20 Dec 2020 08:00:03 -0000

EPISODE 81: William Shatner fights Krampus. Or does he?!?! No, no he doesn't, he sits behind a desk.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wemadethispod

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The Craft: Legacy (2020)

Sun, 13 Dec 2020 08:00:15 -0000

An extremely 2020 remake of The Craft gives us progressive politics and incidental magic, which leaves the lads feeling very old and pining for old goth clothing shops.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005)

Sun, 06 Dec 2020 08:00:15 -0000

When a man's heart is full of deceit, it burns up, dies. And a dark shadow falls over his soul. From the ashes of a once great man, has risen a curse. A wrong that must be righted. We look to the skies for a vindicator, someone to strike fear into the black hearts. Of the same man who created him. The battle between good, and evil has begun. Against an army of shadows, lies a dark warrior.
The prevailer of good. With a voice of silence, and a mission of justice. This is Edward Furlong.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

**SPECIAL GUEST STAR HERE COMES THE INCREASED LISTENERSHIP**
Michael Cornell

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Creepshow 2 (1987)

Sun, 15 Nov 2020 09:29:02 -0000

EPISODE 78: The lads lockdown with a horror anthology. Prepare for tales of haunted Indian statues, hungry bin bags, and a dead bloke who just really wants a lift.

HOSTED BY
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

EDITED BY
Dave Walker

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wemadethispod

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I Am Legend (2007)

Sun, 25 Oct 2020 09:00:09 -0000

EPISODE 77 - Wilson picks a too time-appropriate film as Rob and Dave enjoy life in Tier 2. On the plus side, DOGGO!

Hosted by: Dave Walker, Chris Wilson, Rob Yeomans

Edited by: Dave Walker

Twitter, Facebook, Instagram: @cinemortuary
We Made This Network: @wemadethispod

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Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies (1999)

Sun, 11 Oct 2020 08:26:31 -0000

EPISODE 76: With the 3rd annual TURDIES ceremony at the end of the episode, Dave looks to ruin Rob's calculations by presenting us with a syntax-loving demon who loves creative casino-based deaths. We wish a million people would listen to this podcast.

Hosted by
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Sun, 27 Sep 2020 10:31:28 -0000

EPISODE 75: We are celebrating three quarters of a century of episodes here at the CineMortuary bunker, and as such Rob is treating the lads BIG TIME. It goes down like a smooth glass of Chianti.... It's THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS!

Hosted by
Rob Yeomans
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Bloodrayne 2: Deliverance (2007)

Sun, 13 Sep 2020 09:34:10 -0000

EPISODE 74: Chris is back on the throne and after threatening it for multiple episodes he's finally making Rob & Dave watch Uwe Boll's "Masterpiece" Bloodrayne 2: Deliverance... Oh no...

Hosted by
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans
Dave Walker

Edited by
Chris Wilson

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Battle Royale II: Requiem (2003)

Sun, 30 Aug 2020 10:56:45 -0000

EPISODE 73: It's Dave's pick so once again Chris and Rob ask the age old CineMortuary question... It's not a Horror film though, is it?? It's the sequel that the lads aren't sure anyone needed... BATTLE ROYALE II

Hosted by
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

Sun, 16 Aug 2020 16:51:29 -0000

EPISODE 72: Rob has thrown the lads quite a curve-ball this time round and has gone all Werner Herzog on us... Oh my!

Hosted by
Rob Yeomans
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Unfriended: Dark Web (2018)

Sun, 26 Jul 2020 11:34:38 -0000

EPISODE 71: Chris makes his long awaited return to the throne with a film that harnesses modern technology in such a contrived way that renowned technophobe Rob's head is on the cusp of exploding!

Hosted by
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans
Dave Walker

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Color Out of Space (2019)

Sun, 12 Jul 2020 10:18:46 -0000

EPISODE 70: It's Dave's turn in the porcelain palace and in a ploy to lure Chris out of his exile in Belarus we have the second coming on the podcast of our lord and saviour Nicholas Cage in Color out of Space!

Hosted by
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Evil Dead (2013)

Sun, 28 Jun 2020 11:08:03 -0000

EPISODE 69: It's Rob's turn on the throne and its the Ash-free 2013 remake of The Evil Dead. Creatively titled Evil Dead... Chris/THE FALCON is still leading the world's fight against COVID-19 so Michael Cornell is back. Groovy.

Hosted by
Rob Yeomans
Dave Walker
Michael Cornell

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Scanner Cop (1994)

Sun, 07 Jun 2020 14:55:12 -0000

EPISODE 68: It's Dave's pick so its obviously a spin-off of Scanners III... Chris is away fighting crime as THE FALCON so Michael Cornell joins the party!

Hosted by
Dave Walker
Rob Yeomans
Michael Cornell

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986)

Sun, 17 May 2020 11:04:53 -0000

EPISODE 67: Annoying kids, Spielberg's worst traits and super spooky curses. Needless to say Chris was not overjoyed with Rob's pick.

Hosted by
Rob Yeomans
Chris Wilson
Dave Walker

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Final Destination 2 (2003)

Sun, 03 May 2020 10:39:59 -0000

EPISODE 66: Chris loved Rob's Final Destination 3 pick from a while ago so much that he is diving right back into the franchise.

Rob's intro technique, multi-vehicle pile ups and White House raids. Just another day at the studio.

Hosted by
Chris Wilson
Dave Walker
Rob Yeomans

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Troll 2 (1990)

Sun, 19 Apr 2020 11:03:40 -0000

EPISODE 65!

Swamp dwelling creatures, green goo, Ted DiBiase lookalikes, atrocious dialogue and force feeding. Must be one of Dave's picks...

Hosted by
Dave Walker
Rob Yeomans
Chris Wilson

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Predator 2 (1990)

Sun, 05 Apr 2020 13:23:00 -0000

EPISODE 64: It's Dave appreciation week here at CineMortuary Towers and as such Rob gives him the gift of Predator 2.

Sequels in the big city, Japanese LaserDisc artwork and 90's nostalgia ahoy.

Hosted by
Rob Yeomans
Chris Wilson
Dave Walker

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Attack of the 50 Ft Woman (1993)

Wed, 25 Mar 2020 18:20:44 -0000

EPISODE 63: For some reason HBO decided to remake Attack of the 50 Ft Woman as a TV movie in 1993. Then for some reason Chris decided to pick it for the podcast. Then Dave decided to blow the lads away with his phenomenal football knowledge...

Hosted by
Chris Wilson
Dave Walker
Rob Yeomans

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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The Thing (VG)

Sun, 08 Mar 2020 06:00:16 -0000

The Buffy Swearing Keyboard, polar bears, Gitaroo Man, NXT UK York review (about a week too late), admin, Rob not being good at lying and everything else you normally expect on this, uh, video game podcast?!?!

Hosted by
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Let Me In (2010)

Sun, 23 Feb 2020 06:00:10 -0000

Nicole Kidman's forehead, Greggs breakfast, snow in New Mexico, the Queen's Christmas Day speech, Eurovision, Nickelodeon sitcom bullies, parkour and much more in the sharpish remake of 2009's Let The Right One In.

Hosted by
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary
www.wemadethispod.com

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The Banana Splits Movie (2019)

Sun, 09 Feb 2020 07:28:12 -0000

Dark and edgy remakes of your beloved childhood favourites take a disturbing turn as the Banana Splits downright murders people. Tra la la OH SHI--

Hosted by
Dave Walker
Rob Yeomans
THE FALCON

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Frankenstein (1931)

Sun, 19 Jan 2020 06:00:15 -0000

This film is so old, the running time of the original film was measured in length. Good thing we measure our wangs in minutes these days.

Hosted by Dave Walker, Chris Wilson and Rob Yeomans. Edited by Dave Walker.

Twitter: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wemadethispod

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Hot Fuzz (2007)

Sun, 05 Jan 2020 08:00:16 -0000

CineMortuary is your fortnightly digest of horror reboots, remakes, sequels, prequels and squeakquels... so here's Hot Fuzz?!

Hosted by:

Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by

Dave Walker

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary
We This Made: @wemadethispod

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Black Christmas (2006)

Sun, 22 Dec 2019 06:00:03 -0000

With not many options for Christmas horror sequels or remakes, Sirs Yeomans and Walker look at 2006's Black Christmas, the cinematic equivalent of Pom-Bears. Sit down with a plate of skin cookies and enjoy!

Hosted by

Dave Walker
Rob Yeomans

Edited by

Chris Wilson

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wemadethispod

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The Thing (2011)

Sun, 08 Dec 2019 09:30:40 -0000

With Willy away, Rob and Dave turn CineMortuary into one of those cliché nerd podcasts. Expect talk on The Thing (...2011) with references to Star Trek (...Discovery), X-Men (...the video games), Doctor Who (...the Christopher Eccleston years) and wrestling (...Jeff Hardy).

Hosted by
Dave Walker
Rob Yeomans

Edited by
Chris Wilson

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wemadethispod

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Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

Thu, 28 Nov 2019 06:00:17 -0000

Sorry we're late with this episode. We keep being haunted by memories of that Scooby-Doo episode so, logically, we dug up his grave to destroy the corpse... except Scooby-Doo isn't dead, and who knows whose grave we've dug up oh god--

Hosted by
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by
Dave Walker

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wemadethispod
Apologies to: @scoobydooandhisfamily

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The Blob (1988)

Sun, 10 Nov 2019 06:15:18 -0000

Blobby, oh Mr Blobby, if only you could make us understand
Blobby, oh Mr Blobby, your influence will spread throughout the land

Hosted by

Dave Walker

Chris Wilson

Rob Yeomans

Edited by

Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Sadako vs. Kayako (2016)

Sun, 27 Oct 2019 06:40:19 -0000

AKA: The Ring vs The Grudge. Finally, a contest worthy of a Wrestlemania main event... or, at least, TNA Hard Justice.

Hosted by

Dave Walker

Chris Wilson

Rob Yeomans

Edited by

Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Riddick (2013)

Sun, 13 Oct 2019 05:30:11 -0000

"There are good podcasts, and then there are RIDDICKulously good podcasts. This was shaping up to be one of those."

!!!A new episode every week in October!!!

Hosted by

Dave Walker

Chris Wilson

Rob Yeomans

Edited by

Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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The Ring (2002)

Sun, 06 Oct 2019 06:00:07 -0000

+ THE 2ND ANNUAL TURDIES.

We kick off our third year of CineMortuary with talk of Bill Goldberg wearing a wig, YouTube, I Love Horses Magazine, knobheads driving loudly around York at 11pm every night, Heartbeat, libraries, our sponsors NordVPN, and everything else you'd expect from a review of The Ring.

!!!A new episode every week in October!!!

Hosted by

Dave Walker

Chris Wilson

Rob Yeomans

Edited by

Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

日本に謝罪

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The Fly (1986)

Sun, 22 Sep 2019 06:00:21 -0000

The lads are buzzing that they've reached 50 episodes. Listen as they fly into one of the big hitters of the horror genre, winging their way through historical Teletext, boking, two Coronation Street tram crashes, pet shops that sell baboons, and whether Geena Davis is hot or not.

Hosted by

Dave Walker

Chris Wilson

Rob Yeomans

Edited by

Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island (1998)

Sun, 08 Sep 2019 07:00:20 -0000

It's terror time again as Scooby-Doo goes full horror with actual zombies and actual witches and actual hot chili peppers. RIKES!

Hosted by

Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by

Chris Wilson

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Invaders From Mars (1986)

Sun, 25 Aug 2019 07:00:03 -0000

Nurse Ratched eats frogs, deadlifting-shaped aliens bump into each other like idiots, and Dave's grumpy thanks to Rob Yeomans THE BEST PICKER OF FILMS EVER.

Hosted by

Dave Walker

Chris Wilson

Rob Yeomans

Edited by

Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod

CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Underworld: Evolution (2006)

Sun, 11 Aug 2019 07:23:40 -0000

Here we have a blossoming relationship in the midst of a brutal war between vampires and werewolves. #TeamMichael #TeamMarcus

Hosted by
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

Sun, 21 Jul 2019 07:00:03 -0000

Dave,

Dave, are you sure? This isn't the one with the face slicing and Slipknot, Dave? Nor the flying zombie dogs shooting guns out of their bums? Is this the right one, Dave? Dave???

Hosted by
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Final Destination 3 (2006)

Sun, 07 Jul 2019 07:21:28 -0000

Hollywood's violent tribute to Wallace and Gromit takes us to the theme park, tanning salon and the birth of MURICA. Grab a hot dog and untie your horse, you're in for a wild one.

Hosted by
Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by
Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Halloween (2018)

Sun, 23 Jun 2019 06:00:22 -0000

The lads are back to discuss NordVPN, noodles, Jeremy Beadle, the boogeyman (or boogeymen), dancing, deadcats, Mick Hucknall, and maybe 2018's Halloween rebootquel as well.

Hosted by

Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Bram Stoker's Legend of the Mummy 2 (2000)

Sun, 09 Jun 2019 07:00:11 -0000

Straight from the bargain bins of second hand charity shops in Whitby, the lads talk about the cheapest film any of them have probably ever seen. That and backyard wrestling.

Hosted by

Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by Dave Walker

We Made This: @wemadethispod
CineMortuary: @cinemortuary

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Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

Sun, 19 May 2019 07:58:24 -0000

It's sleepover time at CineMortuary Studios. Dave's brought the drinks, Willy's brought the popcorn, and Rob's brought this pile of--

Hosted by

Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by Dave Walker

Twitter: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wemadethispod

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Revenge of the Creature (1955)

Sun, 05 May 2019 06:23:18 -0000

Dave, Rob and Willy travel back to the 1950s to see what the Creature from the black lagoon got up to next. As it turns out, the Creature is alive and starring in Jaws 3D and Shark Attack II.

Hosted by

Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by Dave Walker

Twitter: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wemadethispod

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Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004)

Sun, 21 Apr 2019 06:00:18 -0000

THE lads in THE studio review THE 2004 film sequel to THE Anaconda franchise with THE subtitle THE Hunt for THE Blood Orchid. THE heck?

Hosted by

Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by Dave Walker

Twitter: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wemadethispod

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The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Sun, 07 Apr 2019 07:07:40 -0000

Rob's redemption arc for picking Exorcist II: The Heretic finally comes to an end. Or did it even begin? We forget now.

Hosted by

Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Edited by Dave Walker

Twitter: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wemadethispod

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See No Evil 2 (2014)

Sun, 24 Mar 2019 07:10:11 -0000

Slow chemicals, May 19th, Katie Vick, 36 inch penises, Tiny Lister, and much more wrestling-related nonsense as we pay a visit to WWE Studios. It was either this or Leprechaun: Origins tbh.

Hosts

Dave Walker
Chris Wilson
Rob Yeomans

Editor

Dave Walker

Twitter: @cinemortuary
We Made This: @wemadethispod

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House of Wax (1953)

Sun, 03 Mar 2019 08:00:13 -0000

A group of unwitting teens are stranded near a strange wax museum and soon must fight to survive and keep from becoming the next exhibit., starring Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbe-- excuse me, what? 1953?! Are you sure?!?!

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Thir13en Ghosts (2001)

Sun, 17 Feb 2019 07:59:17 -0000

Rob's redemption arc promises to curve up at some point. While we wait, here's some talk on Lincoln (boooo), the WCW Hardcore Junkyard Invitational, Dave's good mic, Shaggy from Scooby Doo, Hull (boooo), ghost-seeing glasses, comedic racism, 2001 face slicing, love, and THE FALCON.

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Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

Sun, 03 Feb 2019 18:53:02 -0000

205 Live, the Irish, things in a toolbox, staying over at Rob's house, children's hobbies in the 80s, musical guests, Christmas trees in February... We talk about almost everything possible here. Except Michael Myers, who isn't in this film.

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Zombi 2 (1979)

Mon, 21 Jan 2019 08:33:18 -0000

Zombi 2, also known as: Sanguella, The Island of the Living Dead, Zombie Flesh Eaters, Zombie, Zombie The Dead Walk Among Us, Gli Ultimi Zombi, Woodoo, L'Enfer de Zombies, Zombie 2: The Dead Are Among Us and Nightmare Island. Take yer fuckin' pick.

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Tremors 3: Back to Perfection (2001)

Mon, 07 Jan 2019 06:00:25 -0000

Kevin Bacon's gone, so's Fred Ward, and now seemingly Willy too. Oh lawd.

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Gremlins 2 (1990)

Mon, 17 Dec 2018 06:00:15 -0000

Very #OnBrand for CineMortuary to have a horror Christmas special that's neither a horror or set at Christmas.

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Scream 2 (1997)

Mon, 03 Dec 2018 06:00:14 -0000

hope you like wrestling references because bloody hell this episode

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Night Of The Living Dead (1990)

Mon, 19 Nov 2018 06:00:28 -0000

they're coming to colourise you, barbara

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Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)

Mon, 05 Nov 2018 06:00:17 -0000

*sigh*

We head back to psychotropic 1970s horror, via Africa and a New York populated by doves, for a whole bunch of nothing. LITERALLY, NOTHING HAPPENS. WHY IS NOTHING HAPPENING? THROW A FUCKING PIE.

Spoiler alert: 2019 'Turd of the Year' winner right here.

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Jaws 3D (1983)

Mon, 22 Oct 2018 05:00:23 -0000

JAWS 3D DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
JAWS 3D DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
JAWS 3D DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
JAWS 3D

JAWS 3D DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
JAWS 3D DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
JAWS 3D DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
JAWS 3D

Also, we finally dish out the 'The Golden Turdies', dishing out awards for our first year of CineMortuary.

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Godzilla (1998)

Mon, 08 Oct 2018 05:00:19 -0000

We're going deeper underground for our biggest podcast yet. Probably. Maybe. Not. Size does matter, so here's Matthew Broderick being a massive bellend.

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The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014)

Mon, 24 Sep 2018 05:00:16 -0000

Inspired by the meta-sequel The Town That Dreaded Sundown, here's a podcast about a podcast detailing a podcast that happened in a previous podcast but now has its own podcast.

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Alien 3 (1992)

Mon, 10 Sep 2018 05:00:16 -0000

The lads celebrate reaching a quarter of a century by revisiting the Alien franchise. Here's a HOT TAKE for you: we quite like this one.

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Dracula (1958)

Mon, 27 Aug 2018 05:00:28 -0000

The lads take a bite out of Dracula, hammering home why this sucks. (Jim Duggan intensifies)

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Amityville 4: The Evil Escapes (1989)

Mon, 13 Aug 2018 05:00:24 -0000

A budgie is shoved into the microwave by a lamp. What more do you people want?!

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Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Mon, 30 Jul 2018 05:00:14 -0000

Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me

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Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)

Mon, 16 Jul 2018 05:00:14 -0000

Seriously, Dan, you just spent thousands of dollars on a top-of-the-range security system and you won't even check your DVR when spooky shit happens to your daughter, wtf are you doing you utter gammon?

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Jeepers Creepers 3 (2017)

Mon, 02 Jul 2018 08:10:06 -0000

The lads try getting back to normal, or as normal as it gets, in the aftermath of Blair Witch: Book of Shadows. Chris has apparently murdered a man, Dave got hitched, Rob's recovering from a 4am McDonalds, and god knows where Big Rich has gone.

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Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)

Mon, 18 Jun 2018 05:00:24 -0000

YOU LET BIG RICH DO A PODCAST???

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Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014)

Mon, 04 Jun 2018 00:00:00 -0000

You have two choices for the different second film: go to New York or go to space. Thankfully Fin and his shark-specific tornadoes opt for the Big Apple, where he's surrounded by celebrities I think we're meant to recognise.

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It (2017)

Mon, 21 May 2018 00:00:00 -0000

This remake of the TV film - put those complaints away - places us right in the middle of the current wave of 1980s nostalgia. Can we expect something different than kids on bikes clowning around like a bunch of goon(ie)s? Well, Stranger Things have happened.

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A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

Mon, 07 May 2018 00:00:00 -0000

Oh dear. The lads find themselves stuck in a mental institution with only a nun speaking in nonsensical riddles for company. Their dreams are trying to kill them, and even worse, the guy responsible has developed a taste for terrible puns. Can they survive? Or with the dream warriors, they don't want to dream no more, and maybe tonight they'll be gone.

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The Grudge (2004)

Mon, 23 Apr 2018 00:00:00 -0000

So we're clear: the maid's body was in the attic before the married couple's because the maid's sequence at the beginning of the film takes place chronologically after the couple move in and it's their corpses the maid sees as she's dragged up and killed before the couple move in and wait that's not right--

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Blade II (2002)

Mon, 09 Apr 2018 00:00:00 -0000

Part 2 of CineMortuary's unboxing trilogy and Dave's at it again choosing films that are horror in name only (granted the first Blade was quite goretacular). We're too excited from seeing Danny John Jules in a non-Red Dwarf role to care.

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The Fog (2005)

Mon, 26 Mar 2018 00:00:00 -0000

The first part of CineMortuary's unboxing trilogy sees Rob deliver a near-literal turd in a box. That's why we're dipping back into John Carpenter remake territory with the 2005 remake of The Fog - where atmospherics and Jamie Lee Curtis have been replaced by Fall Out Boy and Shannon from Lost. On the plus side, CEX will offer to buy Dave and Chris' newly acquired DVDs for 1p.

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The Conjuring 2 (2016)

Mon, 12 Mar 2018 17:57:23 -0000

Our last episode featured a film so obscure, we've made an effort to synergetically put our ducks in a row and target our key demographics in order to enhance the CineMortuary experience. Who'd have thought reviewing a modern film would shoot us into the big time? Now buy our merch.

www.cinemortuary.com

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The Return of the Evil Dead (1973)

Mon, 26 Feb 2018 00:00:00 -0000

Somewhere in Spain, exactly 500 years ago tonight, Dailymotion was created as a rival to YouTube. But it was a bit bollocks and uncool so everyone forgot about it. What will happen when the king of obsolete formats gives the other two hosts a reason to venture into this ghost town? Nothing but red X's and ten year old episodes of TNA Impact await.

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My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)

Mon, 12 Feb 2018 14:26:05 -0000

No clues. No motives. A city full of suspects. Solving this case is going to be murder. Well darn.

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The Wicker Man (2006)

Mon, 29 Jan 2018 00:00:00 -0000

Amazing Cage, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, NO NOT THE BEES.

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Beginning shamelessly stolen from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_mW8mBzmHo

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The Mummy Returns (2001)

Mon, 15 Jan 2018 00:00:00 -0000

"It's not a horror film though, is it?"

The thing is, if Dave hadn't been put on the spot he would've chosen something more gore-tastic. And if Chris hadn't screwed up his calendar, we could've scheduled this episode for New Year's Day as The Mummy Returns' is quite a 3pm New Year's Day on BBC One film. And if Rob hadn't stood there looking as lost as David O'Leary at the end of his run as manager of Leeds United he... dunno where I'm going with this. We're sorry, okay?!

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House on Haunted Hill (1999)

Mon, 01 Jan 2018 00:00:00 -0000

Having travelled beyond the Long Hard Road Out of Hell (aka 2017), This Is the New Shit. Rob, Chris, and Dave review the House of Haunted Hill remake; where instead of some Disposable Teens, we have The Nobodies. They better Get their Gunns (from coffins-within-coffins for some reason) and break out the Fight Song as our Beautiful People must spend a night in said haunting house without dying. Will it be Arma-goddamn-motherfuckin-geddon for our Born Villains? Please listen to this episode because if you don't, WE KNOW WHERE YOU FUCKING LIVE.

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Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

Mon, 11 Dec 2017 07:11:44 -0000

The final episode of 2017 takes us into the realms of weird space flowers, weird sports zombies, and weird Jeff Goldblum wandering onto the set until they were forced to put him in the film. Chris (sponsored by water®) explains why the 1956 is his favourite horror film, while Rob and Dave play switcheroo on their opinions about the remake. But who's to say our hosts haven't been replaced by alien versions of themselves? It'd certainly explain the cabbages in the corner of the recording studio...

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Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1994)

Mon, 27 Nov 2017 15:46:21 -0000

It's the second round of Dave's Laserdisc shitbin. This time we look at Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1994), which IMDB describes as follows:

Based on Kenneth Branagh's novel, "Kenneth Branagh" tells the story of Kenneth Branagh, a promising young doctor who, devastated by the death of Kenneth Branagh during childbirth, becomes obsessed with bringing Kenneth Branagh back to life. His experiments lead to the creation of Kenneth Branagh, which Kenneth Branagh has put together with the remains of corpses. It's not long before Kenneth Branagh regrets his actions.

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KENNETHBRANAGH: kennethbranagh.com/kennethbranagh.html

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Jason X (2001)

Mon, 13 Nov 2017 10:02:45 -0000

Rob, Dave, and Chris bring that beat back as we dive headfirst into 2001. We talk about Drowning Pool, The Matrix, and the fashion sense straight outta Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You can hear the nostalgia in our voices - we may even go and get frosted tips after this.

Oh and Jason Voorhees is frozen, woken up hundreds of years later, shot up into space, whatever.

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Halloween (2007)

Mon, 30 Oct 2017 00:00:00 -0000

In 2007, Rob's favourite film was remade by the (at the time) hottest horror director in Hollywood. Now ten years later, Dave and Chris make him relive what turned out to be one of his worst viewing experiences, because we love him that much. Can the gang survive the trip to Haddonfield? Or will they get lost forever in Rob Zombie's geographically confused clusterfuck?

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Shark Attack 2 (2000)

Mon, 16 Oct 2017 00:00:00 -0000

This time we dive deep into Dave's DVD pile of despair. It's a shark film so the Jaws 'references' (if we're being extremely charitable) begin from frame one. We should be angry at the lack of effort all round, but we just get confused over whether Shark Attack II takes place in Australia or South Africa. Or both?

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Alien Resurrection (1997)

Mon, 02 Oct 2017 00:00:00 -0000

EPISODE 1. CineMortuary kicks off with a review of a film from the Alien franchise. No, not that one. Nor the other one. Instead we delve into Jean-Pierre Jeunet's extremely subtle masterpiece. Along the way we find who Rob thinks is a "shovel with eyes", what genre Dave pretends this is to alleviate the pain, and slowly realise how many times Chris says "in all fairness" (well, we don't, but now you will).

www.cinemortuary.com

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