Life Of Caesar

VES 30 — The Roman Hammer (Free Preview)

Fri, 30 Oct 2026 07:10:00 -0000

The Siege of Masada ends here.... or does it? Josephus gives us pages of Eleazar's suicide pep talks, mass murder by lot, and one very convenient survivor who heard everything from an underground cavern. Archaeologists have since pointed out there's basically no evidence any of this actually happened, which makes it either the most dramatic event in ancient history or Josephus just writing a cracking yarn.

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VES 30 — The Roman Hammer

Fri, 30 Oct 2026 07:09:00 -0000

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VES 29 — Flame Beats Wood (Free Preview)

Wed, 14 Oct 2026 03:37:00 -0000

We're at Masada. Silva has his 10th Legion, a 91-metre siege mound, an iron-plated tower, and a battering ram the size of a small building. The 960 Sicarii inside have a second wall made of logs and dirt that just gets stronger the harder you hit it.... until Silva works out that wood burns. Meanwhile Josephus, the Jewish general who surrendered to Vespasian and spent the rest of his life on the Roman payroll, keeps assuring us that God is firmly on the Roman side. Make of that what you will.

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VES 29 — Flame Beats Wood

Wed, 14 Oct 2026 03:36:00 -0000

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VES 28 — The Dagger Men (Free Preview)

Mon, 28 Sep 2026 04:59:00 -0000

This episode we're deep into Josephus on the Sicarii, the original cloak-and-dagger assassination squad - literally, they hid curved daggers under their cloaks - who spent the Jewish-Roman War killing other Jews for not being Jewish enough.... according to Josephus, who is of course completely unbiased. We also end up somewhere unexpected: how Jewish civil war, Jew-on-Jew violence, and the trauma of a civilisation being flattened might explain rather a lot about where Christianity came from.

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VES 28 — The Dagger Men

Mon, 28 Sep 2026 04:58:00 -0000

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VES 27 — One Punch, Paetus (Free Preview)

Mon, 14 Sep 2026 09:52:00 -0000

Paetus is back. You remember Paetus - the general who declared "mission accomplished" against the Parthians and then immediately had to beg Corbulo to come rescue him. Now, ten years on, he's got a new emperor and a second chance at glory, and he's found himself a suitably soft target: Antiochus IV of Commagene, a loyal Roman client king of nearly forty years who, as far as anyone can tell, hasn't actually done anything wrong. Antiochus's response is to pack up his family, pitch a tent 22 kilometres outside the city, and basically wave his hands in the air going "see? nothing to see here." Vespasian, to his credit, tells Paetus to take the chains off the old man.... which is more than Paetus deserves.

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VES 27 — One Punch, Paetus

Mon, 14 Sep 2026 09:51:00 -0000

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VES 26 — The Landlord of Judaea (Free Preview)

Wed, 26 Aug 2026 02:15:00 -0000

Bassus is mopping up the last Jewish holdouts in Judaea, and things go about as well as you'd expect for everyone who isn't a Roman. The defenders of Machaerus negotiate a deal to walk free.... turns out the Gentiles living below the fortress weren't included in that deal. Then Vespasian, ever the pragmatist, declares all of Judaea his personal property and slaps a permanent tax on Jews everywhere in the empire. Not governing Judaea. Owning it.

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VES 26 — The Landlord of Judaea

Wed, 26 Aug 2026 02:14:00 -0000

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VES 25 — Pliny's Guide to Menstrual Magic** (Free Preview)

Wed, 29 Jul 2026 05:25:00 -0000

This episode we go deep on the hilltop fortresses still holding out in Judaea after the fall of Jerusalem, which turns into a very long detour through Pliny the Elder's chapter on menstrual blood.... which is, it turns out, absolutely packed with practical tips you can use at home. Don't let your pregnant horses anywhere near a menstruating virgin, obviously. We also get to Machaerus, the fortress where John the Baptist allegedly lost his head, and a magic root that will kill your dog but cure demonic possession, so swings and roundabouts.

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VES 25 — Pliny's Guide to Menstrual Magic**

Wed, 29 Jul 2026 05:24:00 -0000

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VES 24 — A River of Gold (Free Preview)

Mon, 13 Jul 2026 03:33:00 -0000

We're covering the triumph of Vespasian and Titus, and our eyewitness is Josephus.... a Jewish priest who watched Rome parade the looted contents of his own temple down the street and somehow managed to keep it together enough to write one of the most vivid accounts of a Roman triumph we have. The menorah, the multi-storey floats, rivers of gold and ivory, Jewish prisoners dressed in finery to hide how emaciated they were. It's an extraordinary document from an extraordinarily compromised man.

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VES 24 — A River of Gold

Mon, 13 Jul 2026 03:32:00 -0000

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VES 23 — The God in the Dog Mask (Free Preview)

Mon, 29 Jun 2026 05:38:00 -0000

This episode we're deep in the Temple of Isis - which turns out to be exactly where Vespasian and Titus had to spend the night before their joint triumph, for reasons both boring and genuinely weird. We also cover Decius Mundus, a man so obsessed with a married woman that he bribed priests to let him dress up as Anubis and have sex with her.... which Josephus drops right after his suspiciously glowing account of Jesus, purely by coincidence. And we take a hard look at whether Nero actually blamed the Christians for the Great Fire of Rome, or whether Tacitus just made that up fifty years later.

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VES 23 — The God in the Dog Mask

Mon, 29 Jun 2026 05:37:00 -0000

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VES 22 — Titus' Victory Tour

Thu, 11 Jun 2026 08:36:00 -0000

Titus wraps up the Jewish War with a five-month tour of the region, dropping in on city after city with two legions at his back and thousands of Jewish captives in tow.... who he then has killed, in as many creative ways as possible, as entertainment. Meanwhile he's sleeping with Berenice, Jewish princess and co-ruler of the very territory he just levelled, which is complicated. And somewhere in Syria, Josephus spots a river that only flows on the Sabbath, spawning a legend that runs for 2,000 years.

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VES 22 — Titus' Victory Tour (Free Preview)

Thu, 11 Jun 2026 08:32:00 -0000

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VES 21 — The Last Man Standing (Free Preview)

Tue, 02 Jun 2026 01:35:00 -0000

Picking up where we left off, Vespasian is finally making his way back to Rome and apparently every city he passes through absolutely loses its mind with joy — which Josephus reports with the completely unbiased objectivity you'd expect from a man who literally changed his name to Flavian. Meanwhile Domitian, aged 19, is talking a big game about personally crushing the Batavian revolt until Mucianus very firmly tells him to go back to his room. The Senate is relieved, the crowds pour out of Rome to greet Vespasian on the road, and Josephus assures us the city immediately grew into a state of great prosperity. Roman politics at its finest.

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VES 21 — The Last Man Standing

Tue, 02 Jun 2026 01:34:00 -0000

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VES 20 — CROWNS FROM THE TEMPLE (Free Preview)

Tue, 26 May 2026 04:54:00 -0000

On this episode, the siege of Jerusalem is over and Titus is handing out medals, melting down temple gold to crown his best soldiers, and carving up his legions for their next postings around the empire. We dig into what happened to the early Christian community in Jerusalem — spoiler: nobody really knows, and that's the fascinating part. Then Cam and Ray pause to take in the sheer scale of what just happened: a 2,200-year-old city, wiped off the face of the earth.

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VES 20 — CROWNS FROM THE TEMPLE

Tue, 26 May 2026 04:53:00 -0000

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VES 19 — YHWH v JOVE (Free Preview)

Thu, 07 May 2026 00:30:00 -0000

On this episode, we wrap up the fall of Jerusalem in September 70 CE — Titus strolls into the ruins, declares Yahweh helped him destroy Yahweh's own temple, and the boys go deep on the genuinely wild linguistic coincidence that the Roman sky-god Jove and the Hebrew God share the same name. Then it's grim accounting time: survivors get sorted into gladiators, mine slaves, and beast-fodder, Josephus rescues some mates, and rebel leader Simon Bar-Gioras emerges from a tunnel dressed in a white robe trying to pass himself off as a ghost.

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VES 19 — YHWH v JOVE

Thu, 07 May 2026 00:29:00 -0000

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UNLEASH THE CARL – Vespasian #18 (Free Preview)

Thu, 16 Apr 2026 11:09:00 -0000

This week we finally reach the end of the Siege of Jerusalem — and it's brutal. Titus storms the upper city, the rebels' back is broken, Simon and John have vanished into the tunnels, and by September 25th, 70 CE, the city is rubble and the Temple is gone forever. We also dive into the fate of the sacred Menorah — where it went, what it meant, and why nobody knows where it is today.

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UNLEASH THE CARL – Vespasian #18

Thu, 16 Apr 2026 11:08:00 -0000

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Goddamn it, Carl! – Vespasian #17

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 05:47:00 -0000

It's August 70 CE, and the siege of Jerusalem is entering its apocalyptic final act. In this episode, Cameron and Ray pick up where the last one left off — starving rebels launching desperate sorties against exhausted Roman legionaries, Titus ordering his men to burn down the silver-coated temple gates to finally crack open the last Jewish stronghold, and the mounting pressure on one of the ancient world's most sacred structures. Before the walls even fall, Cameron takes a deep dive into the remarkable cast of Jesuses and Ananiases haunting Josephus's account of the war — including a wild-eyed plebeian prophet named Jesus son of Ananias, who spent seven years and five months wandering Jerusalem's streets howling "Woe to Jerusalem!" until a Roman siege engine stone ended his career mid-prophecy. Cameron draws pointed connections between this forgotten street-prophet and the Gospel accounts of Jesus of Nazareth, noting that the Gospel of Matthew — written around 75–80 CE, after Jerusalem had already fallen — may owe more to Josephus's war stories than to genuine prophecy. Then history's most consequential act of arson takes centre stage: against Titus's explicit orders, an unnamed Roman soldier — dubbed "Carl" by Cameron and Ray in an extended bit of comedy gold — hurled a burning torch through a golden-framed window of the Temple, setting in motion a conflagration that consumed one of the ancient world's greatest buildings while Titus himself was still inside the Holy of Holies. The looting that followed was so spectacular it caused a gold glut across Syria, halving the price of the metal. Titus freed roughly 40,000 non-combatants into the smouldering ruin of their city — good news delivered alongside very bad news. The end of the siege is now finally within sight.

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Goddamn it, Carl! – Vespasian #17 (Free Preview)

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 05:47:00 -0000

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VES 16 — Slip, Trip, and Slit: The Floor of the Temple Claims Another One (Free Preview)

Sat, 21 Mar 2026 09:34:00 -0000

It's 70 CE, the walls of Jerusalem are crumbling, and the city is eating itself alive — literally. In this episode of Life of Caesar, Cameron and Ray wade deep into Josephus's harrowing account of the final, grinding assault on the Antonia Fortress and the Temple Mount, where the siege of Jerusalem has reached a level of horror almost beyond comprehension. Titus is still trying to take the city intact, still offering surrender terms that rebel leader John of Gischala keeps refusing, even as 600,000 corpses have been thrown out of the gates and the starving population has been reduced to eating dung, leather belts, and — in one unforgettable episode — a widow named Mary from Perea who roasts and eats her own infant son, leaving even Jerusalem's most hardened killers staggering into the street in shock. Meanwhile, the Roman assaults keep producing their own gruesome catalogue of disasters: brave volunteers like Sabinus the Syrian and the Abian centurion Julian charge the walls in spectacular solo acts of courage, only to be undone by the cruel physics of hobnailed caliga boots sliding out on blood-slicked marble floors. A trumpeter and sixteen centuries break into the Antonia in a daring pre-dawn raid, a legionnaire named Longus cuts his own throat rather than surrender or burn, and a soldier called Artorius survives a sixty-foot jump by landing on — and killing — his tentmate Lucius, who had agreed to catch him in exchange for his inheritance. Through it all, Josephus insists it wasn't the Romans but God himself who condemned the Jews, a theological contortion Cameron links to the writing of the Gospel of Mark and the birth of Christianity from the ashes of the Temple. There's also a lengthy and highly entertaining detour into medieval witch trials, broomsticks, and the surprisingly pharmaceutical origins of flying — Cameron has been reading Carlo Ginzburg, and he has things to tell you about salves and sticks that will change how you watch *Wicked* forever.

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VES 16 — Blood on the Marble: How Not to Storm a Temple (Free Preview)

Sat, 21 Mar 2026 09:33:00 -0000

It's 70 CE, the siege of Jerusalem is entering its most savage phase, and Titus is running out of patience. In this episode of Life of Caesar, Cameron and Ray wade through the blood-soaked, famine-ravaged final weeks of the Roman assault on the Holy City, guided by the gleefully self-serving account of Josephus — a man who has somehow convinced himself that God personally switched teams and is now rooting for Rome. The Jews inside Jerusalem are starving by the hundreds of thousands, eating leather belts, rummaging through sewers, and in one truly unforgettable case, a widow named Mary roasts and eats her own infant son — a scene so horrifying it sends hardened killers staggering into the street. Meanwhile, rebel leader John of Gischala is busy pre-sacking the temple he's supposedly defending, melting down sacred vessels and drinking the priests' wine, while Titus makes offer after offer of clemency that keeps getting thrown back in his face. On the Roman side, the assault on the Antonia Fortress produces a parade of spectacular individual catastrophes: a Syrian legionnaire named Sabinus who volunteers for a suicidal wall-scaling at 11am, fights brilliantly, then trips on a rock and is swarmed; the peerless centurion Julian, who leaps alone into a Jewish courtyard twirling swords like General Grievous, only to be undone by his own hobnailed boots — the very Roman innovation designed for traction — on blood-slicked marble floors. Cameron delivers a detailed and genuinely fascinating digression on the caliga, the Roman military boot, before pivoting — via witches, medieval French lepers, conspiracy theories, broomsticks, and psychoactive vaginal salves — to the origins of the witch trials. It's an episode where the walls are literally collapsing, the marble floors are running with blood, bodies are piling up in the streets, and Cameron still finds time to recommend a sex position called the Kneeling Bodyguard. All roads lead to Rome, apparently, and all Rome's roads eventually end in catastrophe.

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VES 16 — Slip, Trip, and Slit: The Floor of the Temple Claims Another One

Sat, 21 Mar 2026 09:32:00 -0000

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VES 16 — Blood on the Marble: How Not to Storm a Temple

Sat, 21 Mar 2026 09:32:00 -0000

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The One About Yoda - Vespasian 15

Thu, 12 Mar 2026 07:02:00 -0000

In this episode, we return to the sweltering heat of August, 70 CE, where the Siege of Jerusalem has reached a gruesome stalemate. We take a deep dive into the survival story of the defector-turned-historian Josephus, flashing back to his "miraculous" (and highly suspicious) escape from the Siege of Jotapata three years prior. From the ingenious use of raw ox-hides and boiled oil to the dark "suicide by proxy" pact in a hidden cavern, we explore how Josephus managed to talk his way out of a death sentence and into the good graces of the future Emperors Vespasian and Titus. Finally, we examine one of the most bizarre and macabre chapters of the war: the "walking gold mines" of Jerusalem, where desperate refugees swallowed their life savings only to be met with the knives of greedy auxiliary troops. It’s a tale of high-stakes engineering, ancient "fan fiction," and why you should never swallow 24-karat gold on an empty stomach. Oh and... Yoda.

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A Tight-Ass Situation in Jerusalem - Vespasian 14

Sun, 01 Mar 2026 10:33:00 -0000

In this episode, Cameron and Ray dive into the increasingly grim and desperate Siege of Jerusalem. Following a tactical blunder where Titus's eagerness led a thousand legionaries into a congested urban death trap, the Roman commander recalibrates his strategy with brutal efficiency. We explore the fascinating intersection of ancient warfare and psychology, from the "payday pageantry" used to demoralize the starving population to the horrifying reality of the "wall of bodies" the Romans had to breach. The discussion spans the evolution of "Caesar" from a family name to an imperial title, the original "suicide bombers" of the Jewish resistance, and the ultimate Roman engineering flex: building a five-mile circumvallation wall in just three days. It’s a story of starvation, military discipline, and the sheer administrative might of Rome clashing against an unbreakable rebel spirit.

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Titus Likes It Tight - Vespasian 13 (Free edition)

Sun, 15 Feb 2026 13:20:00 -0000

In this episode of *The Life of Caesar*, Cameron and Ray navigate a brain-bending "red yarn" conspiracy board that connects the dots between James Bond’s *Moonraker*, Nazi rocket scientists, and the ancient naturalist Pliny the Elder. Once they finally reach the gates of Jerusalem in 70 CE, the focus shifts to the grueling siege of the city’s second wall. We explore the legendary (and perhaps fabricated) heroics of Longus and his "Golden Spear," the suspicious overlap between Roman history and Christian hagiography, and a theatrical ruse by a Jewish fighter named Castor that involves "suicidal" leaps into flames and a very resilient nose. It’s a study in Roman discipline versus Jewish desperation, ending with Titus making a dangerously impatient rush through a narrow breach—because, as the boys discover, Titus likes it tight.

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Titus Likes It Tight - Vespasian 13

Sun, 15 Feb 2026 13:01:00 -0000

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Three Walls and a Funeral - Vespasian 12

Thu, 22 Jan 2026 12:01:00 -0000

It’s 70 CE, and the noose is tightening around Jerusalem. In this episode, we follow Titus as he turns the siege into a masterclass of Roman engineering and psychological warfare, deploying 23-meter-tall siege towers and massive battering rams to systematically dismantle the city's defenses. We explore the desperate atmosphere inside the walls, where the Jewish defenders oscillate between hoping for a "bazinga" from God and watching in horror as their outer walls—and their suburbs—are leveled to the ground. From the mysterious collapse of a Roman tower to the relentless rhythm of the ram nicknamed "Nico," we examine how the city literally began to shrink as the Roman legions moved their camps ever closer to the final line of defense.

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The Siege That Crawled: How Rome Engineered the Fall of Jerusalem - Vespasian #11

Thu, 08 Jan 2026 03:17:00 -0000

In Episode 11, the focus tightens on Titus as the Roman siege of Jerusalem in 70 CE moves from positioning to execution. Drawing heavily on Josephus’ rare eyewitness account, the episode walks listeners onto the northern walls of the city to watch Roman engineering doctrine grind into action: suburbs burned, orchards flattened, hills reshaped, and the land itself turned into a weapon. Titus probes for weakness, attempts a final negotiation via Josephus, and when diplomacy is answered with a javelin, commits fully to siege warfare. The discussion explores Roman military engineering at its most methodical—siege ramps, artillery banks, ballistae, scorpios, and stone-throwers hurling thirty-kilogram projectiles—while contrasting Roman pragmatism with Jewish faith in divine intervention. Along the way, the episode reflects on psychology, belief, exhaustion, and the slow terror of watching an enemy quite literally build its way toward your walls, day after relentless day.

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Miracles, Madness, and the Art of Siege Warfare - Vespasian #10

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 22:23:00 -0000

In Episode 10, Cameron and Ray pick up the siege of Jerusalem at a critical moment, with Titus narrowly escaping death yet again during reckless reconnaissance near the city walls. Using Josephus as their primary source, they explore how first-century historians casually attributed battlefield luck to divine intervention, contrasting Roman discipline with Jewish disunity and opportunism. The discussion widens into a forensic examination of how ancient writers framed “miracles,” how chaos and disorder functioned as asymmetric warfare, and why disciplined armies struggle against opponents who refuse to fight by the rules. Along the way, the conversation detours into the political realities behind Josephus’ writing, Roman siege tactics, and the flattening of Jerusalem’s surrounding terrain in preparation for encirclement.

The episode then pivots sharply into the internal Jewish conflict within the city itself, examining the Zealots, Sicarii, and competing power factions whose infighting proves as destructive as the Roman legions outside the walls. Cameron connects these historical figures to later New Testament narratives, questioning how stories of zeal, rebellion, and mistaken identity were repurposed by early Christian authors. The episode closes with Jerusalem momentarily unified but fundamentally fractured, as Titus begins weighing starvation and siege over direct assault, setting the stage for the catastrophe to come.

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Blessed Are the Cheesemakers… and the Siege Engines - Vespasian #9

Thu, 11 Dec 2025 06:52:00 -0000

In this episode we veer joyfully between kung fu bloodletting, the perils of super-semen, and the siege tactics of first-century Jerusalem. Once the digressions slow down enough to let history through, we paint a vivid picture of Jerusalem at the outbreak of the Jewish War: a bustling pilgrimage city with deep valleys, hard defensive geometry, three mutually homicidal factions, and a food-supply situation so dire it feels like a lesson in how not to run a rebellion. Josephus pops up, alternately describing civic suicide and divine protection for Titus, and the episode closes on a cliffhanger as Titus finds himself pinned in a kill-zone outside the city walls. Violence, incompetence, theology, and Monty Python references all mix together into a fun, chaotic stroll toward the Roman siege line.

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Batavians Dance, Romans Sink, Goodbye Tacitus

Sun, 30 Nov 2025 22:51:00 -0000

This episode picks up the Roman story on two fronts at once: Cameron and Ray debate Schrodinger’s cat, Minecraft physics and the metaphysics of Tylenol, before steering the ship back into Tacitus’ account of the Batavian revolt. The Rhine frontier is in chaos, the Batavians are dancing across marshes, Roman legions sink into swamps, and the wonderfully named rebel leader Julius Civilis continues to torment the Flavian regime. We follow Tacticus through legionary humiliations, swamp warfare, surprise rear attacks, desertions, rainstorms and burnt camps, and the eventual fading of Civilis from history altogether. The second half of the episode dives deep into the mystery of Tacitus’ missing books: how we lost so much of his writing, why early Christians disliked him, how the Renaissance rediscovered him, and how Machiavelli weaponised him. It’s a mix of history, profanity, swamp fights, lost manuscripts, and one last goodbye to the old curmudgeon himself.

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Gallienus: The Pragmatist Who Kept Rome Alive

Fri, 24 Oct 2025 12:20:00 -0000

In this special Life of Caesar episode, Cameron and Ray step out of their usual Roman timeline to talk with Matthew and Matteo Storm from The Lost Roman Heroes Podcast about Emperor Gallienus — one of the most underrated rulers of the Roman Empire. Together, they explore the chaos of the third-century crisis, when the empire faced simultaneous invasions, economic collapse, plagues, and political chaos. The conversation dives into Gallienus’s overlooked brilliance as a reformer — his creation of Rome’s first mobile cavalry corps, his pragmatic religious tolerance, his restructuring of the military and Senate, and his remarkable 15-year effort to hold the empire together while surrounded by enemies on every front. The guests make a compelling case for Gallienus as the emperor who bought Rome the time it needed to survive. Expect equal parts history, humour, and heresy as the gang compares the late Roman world to modern America, unpacks the political spin of ancient sources, and riffs on everything from Nero to Napoleon to Tupac.

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Birds, Betrayal, and the Birth of Christianity - Vespasian #7 Preview

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 11:11:00 -0000

In this episode, Cameron and Ray explore Vespasian’s campaign in Judea — a bloody and chaotic chapter that reshaped both Judaism and Christianity. Cameron recounts the revolt’s absurd beginnings — a land dispute, a sacrificed bird on a chamber pot — and follows it through to the Roman siege of Jerusalem. The pair unpack the complex characters of Josephus, Tacitus, and Vespasian, teasing apart propaganda, prophecy, and power — and how a Jewish general ended up calling a Roman emperor the Messiah. It’s a wild blend of theology, dark humour, and historical storytelling, with a few Game of Thrones and Succession riffs thrown in for good measure.

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Birds, Betrayal, and the Birth of Christianity - Vespasian #7

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 11:07:00 -0000

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Bitumen, Blood, and Bias - Vespasian #6 Preview

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 05:35:00 -0000

In this preview of Vespasian episode 6, Cameron and Ray continue their exploration of Tacitus’ account of the Jews and the Dead Sea. They riff on bitumen bubbling up from the “Asphalt Lake,” how vinegar and menstrual blood supposedly affect it, and why the ancients found this both useful and bizarre. The conversation drifts through Roman building materials, paradoxographical stories, Salt Lake City smells, the destruction of cities around the Dead Sea, Sodom and Gomorrah legends, and Tacitus’ blend of skepticism and superstition. The back half of the discussion dives into Jewish history under Hellenistic, Maccabean, and Roman rule, the destruction of the Second Temple, Tacitus’ sources and biases, and the survival of Judaism thanks to “the book.” Along the way, there are musical detours, Trump-and-tanks-in-DC anecdotes, and irreverent takes on gods, genocide, and history’s ability to spin a narrative.

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Bitumen, Blood, and Bias - Vespasian #6

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 05:33:00 -0000

In this episode, Cameron and Ray continue their exploration of Tacitus’ account of the Jews and the Dead Sea. They riff on bitumen bubbling up from the “Asphalt Lake,” how vinegar and menstrual blood supposedly affect it, and why the ancients found this both useful and bizarre. The conversation drifts through Roman building materials, paradoxographical stories, Salt Lake City smells, the destruction of cities around the Dead Sea, Sodom and Gomorrah legends, and Tacitus’ blend of skepticism and superstition. The back half of the discussion dives into Jewish history under Hellenistic, Maccabean, and Roman rule, the destruction of the Second Temple, Tacitus’ sources and biases, and the survival of Judaism thanks to “the book.” Along the way, there are musical detours, Trump-and-tanks-in-DC anecdotes, and irreverent takes on gods, genocide, and history’s ability to spin a narrative.

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Vespasian #5 (Preview) - Circumcision, Sabbath, and Salt

Fri, 05 Sep 2025 04:08:00 -0000

In this Preview of episode of *Life of Caesar*, Cameron and Ray dive deep into Tacitus’ *Histories* and his account of the Jews during the First Jewish-Roman War. The conversation explores the cultural, religious, and political context surrounding the Jewish people at the time of Vespasian and Titus’ campaigns in Judea. They dissect Tacitus’ often hostile and distorted accounts of Jewish origins, customs, and religious practices, unpacking the ways in which Roman writers justified conquest through propaganda. Along the way, the hosts discuss syncretism in ancient religions, the evolution of monotheism, circumcision, Sabbath traditions, burial practices, and Tacitus’ fascination with the geography of Judea, including the Dead Sea and balsam groves. With their usual mix of historical detail and irreverent banter, Cameron and Ray highlight both the absurdities of Roman prejudices and the broader historical forces that shaped Jewish identity in the Roman Empire.

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Vespasian #5 - Circumcision, Sabbath, and Salt

Fri, 05 Sep 2025 04:06:00 -0000

In this episode of *Life of Caesar*, Cameron and Ray dive deep into Tacitus’ *Histories* and his account of the Jews during the First Jewish-Roman War. The conversation explores the cultural, religious, and political context surrounding the Jewish people at the time of Vespasian and Titus’ campaigns in Judea. They dissect Tacitus’ often hostile and distorted accounts of Jewish origins, customs, and religious practices, unpacking the ways in which Roman writers justified conquest through propaganda. Along the way, the hosts discuss syncretism in ancient religions, the evolution of monotheism, circumcision, Sabbath traditions, burial practices, and Tacitus’ fascination with the geography of Judea, including the Dead Sea and balsam groves. With their usual mix of historical detail and irreverent banter, Cameron and Ray highlight both the absurdities of Roman prejudices and the broader historical forces that shaped Jewish identity in the Roman Empire.

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Vespasian #4 - Marc Hyden, author, "Emperor Titus"

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 06:41:00 -0000

In this episode, Cameron is joined by historian and author **Marc Hyden** to explore the life and times of Emperor **Titus Flavius Vespasianus**. They trace the rise of the Flavian dynasty, the chaos of the Year of the Four Emperors, the Jewish-Roman War, and Titus’ surprising path to the imperial throne. The discussion dives deep into Roman religion, Jewish resistance, the messy politics of succession, and the curious parallels between Roman messianic propaganda and the early Christian gospels. It’s a lively mix of scholarship, humour, and speculation on one of Rome’s often-overlooked emperors.

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Vespasin 3 (free) - The Sticky Wicket

Fri, 25 Jul 2025 03:31:00 -0000

In this chaotic and bloody conclusion to the Year of the Four Emperors, Cameron and Ray chart the political chess game that followed Vitellius’ fall. Mucianus arrives in Rome ahead of Vespasian to consolidate power, dispose of threats, and set the table for the new Flavian dynasty. Antonius Primus, once hailed as the saviour of Rome, gets sidelined and exiled. Meanwhile, the 18-year-old Domitian (Ian) parties like a rock star, enjoying the perks of imperial power without the burden of ruling. The city reels from the Flavian troops’ violent rampage, Tacitus throws shade, pretenders to the throne get snuffed out, and Ray learns what a “sticky wicket” really means. This is Roman realpolitik at its nastiest — with all the gallows humour, cynicism, and Monty Python references you’ve come to expect.

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Vespasian 3 - The Sticky Wicket

Fri, 25 Jul 2025 03:30:00 -0000

In this chaotic and bloody conclusion to the Year of the Four Emperors, Cameron and Ray chart the political chess game that followed Vitellius’ fall. Mucianus arrives in Rome ahead of Vespasian to consolidate power, dispose of threats, and set the table for the new Flavian dynasty. Antonius Primus, once hailed as the saviour of Rome, gets sidelined and exiled. Meanwhile, the 18-year-old Domitian parties like a rock star, enjoying the perks of imperial power without the burden of ruling. The city reels from the Flavian troops’ violent rampage, Tacitus throws shade, pretenders to the throne get snuffed out, and Ray learns what a “sticky wicket” really means. This is Roman realpolitik at its nastiest — with all the gallows humour, cynicism, and Monty Python references you’ve come to expect.

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Vespasian 2 free - Big Dick Imperium: Vespasian’s Real Power Brokers

Tue, 15 Jul 2025 02:37:00 -0000

In this episode of _Life of Caesar_, Cam and Ray reunite for a characteristically wild ride through ancient Roman history, personal chaos, and philosophical side quests. The boys start by catching up—Ray recounts a week full of weddings, funerals, and destroyed lawnmowers, while Cam confesses to smashing his monitor and celebrating two anniversaries with Chrissy (meeting + first bang). Then it’s back to Rome in the year 69 CE, where the Senate finally declares Vespasian Emperor, despite him still being in Egypt. His youngest son Domitian (nicknamed Ian) is appointed with a flashy title and fancy clothes—but no actual power. Instead, the real muscle is with Mucianus, the shadow consul and political fixer. Cam and Ray unpack the politics of the time, the rise of Flavian authority, age gaps in the Vespasian family, and the final veto ever used in the Roman Republic. All this, plus Ned Kelly, classical music, stoic resistance, and the difference between “kindness” and “dog” in Latin. Another classic.

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Vespasian 2 Premium - Big Dick Imperium: Vespasian’s Real Power Brokers

Tue, 15 Jul 2025 02:36:00 -0000

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Welcome to Vespasian (free)

Wed, 11 Jun 2025 12:42:00 -0000

In this first episode covering the reign of Vespasian, Cameron and Ray arrive (finally!) at the end of the chaotic Year of the Four Emperors. They dissect the downfall of Vitellius, the rise of the Flavians, and the moral rot that plagued the Roman state. The conversation spirals into modern parallels—from Trump’s America to LBJ’s corruption—while drawing philosophical lines between political decay, historical cycles, and stoic resistance. There’s blood in the streets, senators whining, cult priests in dog masks, and a bronze plaque that indirectly inspired _Hitler_. Oh, and a reminder that being a mediocre emperor might just qualify you to be a podcaster. This is Roman history, podcasted with daggers out and zero reverence.

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Welcome to Vespasian (premium)

Wed, 11 Jun 2025 12:23:00 -0000

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Vitellius 20 Free

Sat, 31 May 2025 12:25:00 -0000

In this final episode of the Vitellius arc, Cameron and Ray cover the chaotic end of Vitellius’ reign with their usual irreverent, razor-sharp commentary. As Rome descends into civil war, we witness the dramatic collapse of leadership, the brutal street fighting in the city, and the total erosion of imperial dignity. From the incompetence of Vitellius and the violence of Antonius’ forces, to the gleeful madness of Rome’s citizens watching the carnage like it’s street theatre, the episode captures both the horror and the absurdity of the Year of the Four Emperors. Along the way, the boys riff on nuns, Kegel exercises, Rodney Dangerfield, and what happens when society loses all respect for institutions. It’s historical tragedy delivered with pitch-black comedy.

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Vitellius 20 Premium - Despite Everything, I Was Your Emperor

Sat, 31 May 2025 11:38:00 -0000

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Vitellius 19 (Free Version) - Rome’s Civil War Gets Horny

Thu, 22 May 2025 05:32:00 -0000

In this fiery and irreverent installment of Vitellius, Cameron and Ray unravel the powder-keg week that saw Rome descend into civil war chaos during Saturnalia. We kick off with an existential slap from Cameron’s son about his funeral prospects, and spiral quickly into the brutal burning of Rome’s most sacred temple, the violent death of Flavius Sabinus, and the collapse of political compromise. Between wisecracks about erectile dysfunction meds and mockery of corporate efficiency, this episode delivers sharp historical insight on the final hours of Vitellius’ regime. There’s also a rich tangent on Saturnalia’s proto-communist social inversion—Rome’s OG Burning Man. Hacked limbs, lost scrolls, and ancient orgies—this one has it all.

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Vitellius 19 - Rome’s Civil War Gets Horny

Thu, 22 May 2025 05:28:00 -0000

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Vitellius #18 - “Sword in One Hand, Paranoia in the Other”

Thu, 08 May 2025 09:18:00 -0000

In this episode of Life of Caesar, Cameron and Ray pick up the tragicomic unraveling of Emperor Vitellius as he fumbles his way through an abdication that nobody - not even his own supporters - wants him to go through with. We get Machiavellian power plays, pretorians worried about job security, a bumbling leader trying to quit while no one will let him, and a city teetering on civil war as miscommunication and paranoia tear apart Rome’s fragile political fabric.

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Vitellius #17

Wed, 30 Apr 2025 03:38:00 -0000

Cameron and Ray continue their exploration of the turbulent times during the reign of the Roman emperor Vespasian. The episode delves into the political chaos, the fragmentation of the Jewish revolt, and the challenges Vespasian faces in both the battlefield and at home. The hosts discuss his strategic inaction in Judea, the implications of his so-called divine status, and the PR spin that surrounds his image. The conversation touches on Vespasian’s power struggles, his popular image as a healer, and the surprising events leading up to Vitellius' abdication. A mix of historical anecdotes, lighthearted banter, and sharp insights into the complex dynamics of Roman leadership unfold throughout the episode.

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Vitellius #16 - Civilis Burns

Fri, 11 Apr 2025 12:51:00 -0000

In this episode, Ray provides a recap of the Batavian revolt, catching listeners up on the actions of Julius Civilis (disrespectfully nicknamed "Syphilis" for easier recall), a Batavian noble leading the uprising against Rome during the civil war of 69 AD. Civilis, despite a long history of service to Rome, sees an opportunity to gain revenge, liberty for his tribe, and potentially leadership by aligning with Vespasian against Vitellius. He initially deceives the Roman commander of the Rhine Army, Marcus Hordeonius Flaccus ("Flaccid"), pretending to quell unrest while actually building his forces. Civilis amasses roughly 15,000 Roman-trained troops and besieges the crucial Roman fort of Vetera Castra, demanding its garrison swear allegiance to Vespasian, which they refuse. The Batavians, skilled in Roman tactics, attempt various siege methods, including towers and ladders, but are repelled by the Romans' superior engineering and a particularly inventive crane-like machine described by Tacitus. Flaccus fails to secure reinforcements from Gaul due to the ongoing rebellion there. Civilis rallies his troops, emphasizing they have nothing to lose in their fight for freedom, and launches another attack, during which he is unhorsed, leading to rumors of his death and a temporary Batavian retreat. Civilis, however, is not dead and vows to return.

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Claudius #2

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 08:32:00 -0000

For most of his life, Claudius was the Rosemary Kennedy of the Caesars. Without the ice pick lobotomy. Hidden from the public. If he wasn’t allowed to participate in Roman affairs, he would look elsewhere. He became a historian, writing a ton of books about his family, the Carthaginians, and about Etruscan history. But he wasn't boring. He was a bit of a womaniser, and loved to watch games in the arena, gambling, eating, drinking. Things only started to turn around for him when became Caligula’s co-consul in 37 - but whether or not this was Caligula's little joke is hard to say.

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Vitellius 15 - A Dose of Civilis

Thu, 27 Mar 2025 03:13:00 -0000

The revolt of the Batavians against Rome and Vitellius might have been supported by Vespasian. If you catch a dose of Civilis, you need to take it seriously.

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Vitellius #14 - Order 66

Fri, 28 Feb 2025 02:39:24 -0000

While the Romans are fighting each other in 69 CE, the Germans decide the time is ripe to wage a war against their oppressors. They execute Order 66.

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Vitellius #13 - Telly Tubby

Fri, 14 Feb 2025 05:03:39 -0000

Vitellius spent most of the 69 Flavian campaign relaxing in his summer villa, like a "sluggish animal", according to Tacitus. Towards the middle of November he started to take it seriously. It was way too late. By December, he had decided to abdicate.

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Vitellius #12 - The Massacre of Cremona

Sat, 01 Feb 2025 10:46:57 -0000

The Flavians finally take the city fortress of Cremona and it's a massacre, of Romans, by Romans. And not just the Vitellian troops, but the civilians, too.

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Vitellius #11 - Guilt Shared By All

Wed, 15 Jan 2025 04:44:54 -0000

The Vitellians hurl themselves against the Flavians on a night so dark, that sons kill their own fathers. In the end, the Vitellians lose, and the Flavians take Cremona, winning themselves a base in Italy before they press on to Rome.

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Vitellius #10 - Fabo and Longo

Mon, 06 Jan 2025 06:38:14 -0000

Caecina tries to convince his troops that they should change sides. It doesn't go well. He gets arrested by his own troops. He's a Consul, FFS! Meanwhile, Antonius has to run a spear through one of his own guys, just to make a point.

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Vitellius #9 - STRIKE FIRST, STRIKE HARD, NO MERCY

Tue, 31 Dec 2024 00:46:48 -0000

Vespasian's troops in Pannonia aren't willing to just sit on their hands. They want glory and booty. And they don't want Vitellius to have a chance to build up his forces. Antonius Primus, commander of 7 Galbiana, believed that Otho had thrown away his victory by procrastination and faint-heartedness, and he called for an immediate invasion and it is approved - without waiting for confirmation from Vespasian. Meanwhile, in Vitellius' camp, the rivalry between Caecina and Valens had been intensifying, and Caecina decided it was time to change sides.

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Vitellius #8 - Ambiguous Generalities

Sat, 07 Dec 2024 04:54:03 -0000

The legions in Pannonia had to decide whether or not to join Vespasian's rebellion. Most just wanted to play it safe. But Antonius Primus, commander of 7 Galbiana, is all in. It was a decision that would have far-reaching consequences - for himself, for Vespasian, for Vitellius - and for Rome herself.

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Vitellius #7 - The Blockade of Italy

Mon, 18 Nov 2024 22:10:16 -0000

In July, Vespasian, Mucianus, Titus, and the senior officers of the legions, together with the potentates from around the region who supported the Flavian cause, met at Beirut to formulate precise plans. Their basic strategy was the blockade of Italy.

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Vitellius #6 - Lord Caesar Vespasian

Sat, 02 Nov 2024 05:02:39 -0000

Vespasian slowly builds his alliance across the eastern part of the empire, being hailed as Lord Caesar, Augustus, the saviour and benefactor of Rome. His reasons for challenging Vitellius aren't entirely clear but we suspect it has a lot to do with the ambition of his two sons, Titus and Domitian.

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Vitellius #5 - The Mule Guy

Thu, 17 Oct 2024 02:50:00 -0000

It's time to do a bio on Titus Flavius Vespasianus. He wasn't a very ambitious as a young man and only joined the Cursus Honorum because his mother drove him to it through sarcasm, constantly taunting him that he wasn't as good as his older brother. He had a thing for ex-slaves and was once, when governor of North Africa, pelted with turnips during a riot and forced to sell mules to pay off his debts. And of course Nero once stuffed horse shit down his toga. So a really auspicious start.

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Vitellius #4 - The Vespasian Invasian

Mon, 07 Oct 2024 11:26:34 -0000

After arriving in Rome in June 69, Vitellius only had a few weeks to warm up the throne before Vespasian, in Alexandria, announced that he was opposing him. Unfortunately, he seems to have quickly lost of the support of his top two commanders, the kingmakers, Caecina and Valens.

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Vitellius #3 - A Hideous Sight

Wed, 18 Sep 2024 04:46:10 -0000

Vitellius needs to decide what to do with Otho's old troops in Italy, many of whom still regarded their defeat as one of treachery. And now that the game was really just about anyone being able to create an emperor, there were numerous candidates still available. He also gets a tour of the battlefield outside Cremona, "a hideous and terrible sight." Forty days had elapsed since the battle and there were remains of horses and humans laying unburied everywhere. Vitellius eventually arrived in Rome in June. He had already been Emperor for three months. Little does he know, he is a third of his way through his reign.

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Vitellius #2 - OMEN in the ROMAN

Sun, 08 Sep 2024 09:28:56 -0000

Vitellius started his march towards Galba / Otho about 8 weeks after he sent Valens and Caecina. Along the way, he got news that he was the new Emperor. But it wasn't all smooth sailing - governors were murdered, barbarians were revolting, traitors were justifying, messiahs were preaching, and wife-stealers were returning.

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Vitellius #1 - The Third New Emperor

Sun, 25 Aug 2024 07:15:25 -0000

ChatGPT gives us Shakespeare's version of Otho's last speech, while the news of his demise makes its way to Rome and everyone yawns and swears an oath of loyalty to the third guy to be declared emperor since the death of Nero less than a year earlier.

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Otho #12 - Fortitude and Firmness

Mon, 12 Aug 2024 04:33:28 -0000

Despite having reinforcements on the way, and the firm support of his remaining praetorians, Otho decides, with fortitude and firmness, what his own fate shall be.

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Otho #11 - Donkey Kong

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 04:58:41 -0000

Otho's General squabble over the best strategy to march towards Caecina, but it's all for nothing when two Othonian Praetorian cohorts betray Otho's strategy to the enemy. And then it's on like Donkey Kong.

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Otho #10 - The Comforts of Home

Tue, 09 Jul 2024 00:08:00 -0000

The Praetorians push for a fast campaign because they didn't want to spend any more time away from the comforts of Rome than necessary. Unfortunately, in letting them drive the strategy, Otho sealed his doom.

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Otho #9 - Burning Bridges

Sun, 23 Jun 2024 05:35:14 -0000

As the Vitellians try to build a bridge and get over it, the Othonians try to burn their bridge down. Then Otho himself arrives on the scene and holds a council of war. The big question - should they wait a few days for reinforcements or attack now despite being massively outnumbered?

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Otho #8 - Otho's Civil War

Sun, 09 Jun 2024 03:36:06 -0000

Otho orders troops into Northern Italy to block the approach of the armies of Vitellius. He followed them, taking with him many members of the Senate to make sure they don't replace him while he's away from Rome. Keep in mind that the Italian people hadn't experienced any fighting on their soil since the civil wars of Augustus and Marcus Antonius a hundred years earlier.

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Otho #7 - Yo Momma Jokes

Sat, 18 May 2024 07:30:14 -0000

By March 69, Caecina's troops (part of Vitellius' forces) had arrived in northern Italy and crossed the river Po. They first attacked Piacenza where Otho's commander, Spurinna, struggled to maintain discipline with his inexperienced but eager troops. Their Yo Momma Jokes didn't help.

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Otho #6 - Otho On The Defense

Sun, 28 Apr 2024 10:10:10 -0000

Drunken soldiers storm the palace and threaten Otho, who they suspect is plotting something against the people. After he puts down that rebellion, Otho hears that Valens and Caecina were on the way from Gaul and puts together his army to defend Italy. Unfortunately for him, he didn't have access to the best that Italy had to offer.

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Otho #5 - King Arthur, A Russian Myth

Sat, 20 Apr 2024 05:06:51 -0000

A Sarmatian tribe from Southern Russia attacks some Roman cohorts and we learn about the origin of the King Arthur myth. The governor of Corsica declares his support for Vitellius but it doesn’t end well for him, or for Tigellinus, but Calvia Crispinilla manages to escape.

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Otho 4 - 666

Mon, 01 Apr 2024 07:56:01 -0000

Pagans and Christians continued to believe Nero would return, either as the Antichrist or as the precursor to the Antichrist. But is the number of the beast 666 or 616?

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Otho #3 - The Return of Nero

Sat, 16 Mar 2024 05:10:59 -0000

As soon as Nero was declared dead by the Senate, rumours started appearing that he was still alive, just in hiding, waiting for the right time to re-claim the throne. Those stories persisted… for centuries.

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Otho #2 - The March of Vitellius

Sat, 02 Mar 2024 04:46:48 -0000

Vitellius starts his march on Rome with seven legions. He’s 54, popular with his men, and a good career behind him. But his troops’ reasons for supporting his bid for emperor may have less to do with him, and more to do with their own interests. On the other hand, Vespasian decides to declare his support for Otho.

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Otho #1 - Head

Sun, 18 Feb 2024 07:12:11 -0000

With Galba dead, Otho is made the new emperor of Rome. Long may he reign.

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Galba #4 - What Is Best for Rome

Fri, 09 Feb 2024 22:00:02 -0000

At the altar of Apollo, Galba was still praying to the gods to protect him and the empire, when suddenly he got news that a senator of unknown identity was being conducted to the Praetorian barracks with an armed guard. A little while later the man was identified as Otho. And then… it’s all over.

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Galba #3 - A Plot Against The Throne

Sat, 20 Jan 2024 06:19:45 -0000

Otho didn’t take the news of Piso being chosen as Galba’s heir very well. He’d already been screwed over by one emperor and he bloody well wasn’t going to let it happen a second time. A plot is formed to usurp the throne.

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Galba #2 - Long May He Reign

Thu, 21 Dec 2023 23:06:37 -0000

On Jan 1, 69 CE, the beginning of the new Roman year, life looked pretty rosy for Emperor Galba. He had no obvious threats to his power from outside or inside the empire. On Jan 3, the Senate offered vows and sacrifices for his long health and reign. Unbeknownst to any of them, he had less than two weeks left to rule... and live.

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Galba #1 - Republic Schmublic

Sat, 09 Dec 2023 23:07:48 -0000

In our last episode, we finished on June 9, 68. Nero was 30 years and six months old. He had ruled for 13 years and 8 months. On June 10, 68, while he was still in Spain, The Senate declared the governor of Hispania Tarraconensis, northern Spain, 73 year old Servius Sulpicius Galba, to be the new Emperor. He was the first person from outside of the Julio-Claudian family to assume the throne.

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Caligula #22 - The Foot Stomp

Wed, 01 Feb 2023 04:26:44 -0000

The final conspiracy against Caligula involved Cassius Chaerea, an officer of the Praetorian Guard; Callistus, Caligula's wealthy freedman adviser; and the senator Lucius Annius Vinicianus. Over the next three episodes, we'll explore whether or not the conspiracy was about getting rid of Caligula because he was batshit crazy - or because they wanted to restore the Republic.

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Nero #47 - THE END

Tue, 06 Dec 2022 23:37:00 -0000

News of Galba’s betrayal makes its way to Nero who is shocked into action. He sends troops to stop Galba - but they switch sides and join the conspiracy. Nero goes into hiding with the intent of running away to Alexandria and Greece, but even that plan is betrayed. Finally, he comes to the end of his story. And so do we! This is our last episode ever.

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Nero #46 - The Last Straw

Fri, 18 Nov 2022 21:36:00 -0000

Nero celebrates two official triumphs. Not for military victories, but for singing. It’s the last straw. A new rebellion is formed, lead by Vindex and Galba.

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Nero #45 - Grand Slam

Tue, 01 Nov 2022 23:07:00 -0000

Nero didn’t visit Athens or Sparta while in Greece because he was scared of religious and political retribution. Besides, he was too busy trying to become the periodonikes, the Grand Slam champion of all of the Games. But things weren’t going well back at Rome, so he is finally convinced to return. He had six months left to live.

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Nero #44 - Horny Dolphins

Sat, 22 Oct 2022 05:03:00 -0000

The year is 67 CE. Nero is still on his 14 month tour of Greece. He dropped into the Temple of Apollo at Delphi and tickled the Omphalos.

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Nero #43 - To the deuce!

Fri, 30 Sep 2022 04:21:00 -0000

It’s 67 CE. Before he sets out for his World Tour of Greece, Nero first needs to insult the Senate, then he needs to deal with a new conspiracy, this one involving Corbulo. While in Greece, he becomes unhappy with Vespasian who apparently doesn’t clap loudly enough at Nero’s performances.

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Nero #42 - Dude Looks Like A Lady

Sat, 17 Sep 2022 06:04:00 -0000

Nero gets, not one, but TWO new wives. One of them is a dude.

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Nero #41 - The Stuff of Genius

Mon, 29 Aug 2022 23:11:00 -0000

Nero’s first attempt at building a single property that covered his estates on the Palatine Hill and the Esquiline Hill was The Domus Transitoria, the House of Passage. It burned down in the Great Fire. He replaced it with the Domus Aurea (Golden House), designed by expert engineers Severus and Celer, and it was so revolutionary that it appears to be the stuff of genius.

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Nero #40 - The Golden House

Sat, 20 Aug 2022 00:00:00 -0000

Nero built his Domus Aurea between 64-68 and, in doing so, revolutionised Roman architecture. He also built a massive statue of himself, because, hey, why not?

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Nero #39

Fri, 12 Aug 2022 04:30:00 -0000

Nero was a lover, not a fighter. Not a great leader of armies. He thought of himself as an artist. He wanted to be on stage, not on horseback. He was very proud that he closed his Janus.

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Nero #38 - A Woman Woo'd

Fri, 22 Jul 2022 21:01:00 -0000

If you want to marry a woman, remember to kill her husband first

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Nero #37

Sun, 19 Jun 2022 18:30:00 -0000

The Stoics Thrasea and Soranus go on trial. And we run out of Tacitus.

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Nero #36

Sat, 11 Jun 2022 06:18:00 -0000

When you’ve been up to no good, and you get caught out, you have two options. Nero, like Ray, is a Number 2 kind of guy. In this episode, he goes after two significant Stoics, Thrasea Paetus and Barea Soranus, with trumped up charges. And we farewell one of our fans and friends, Victor Santochi. RIP mate.

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Nero #35 - A Monotony Of Disaster

Mon, 23 May 2022 23:23:00 -0000

A family commits suicide together to escape Nero’s prosecution, while others just get stabbed to death. But Tacitus’ explanations for Nero’s behaviour still leave us scratching our heads.

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Nero #34 - A Reckless Spirit

Fri, 13 May 2022 22:20:00 -0000

Nero launches a series of attacks that results in the demise of certain members of the Roman elite. But why these particular people? And why now? We tease apart Tacitus to try to work out what’s really going on.

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Nero #33 - Michael Tremblay Part 2

Thu, 28 Apr 2022 03:04:00 -0000

This is the second and final part of our interview with philosopher Michael Tremblay, talking about Seneca and stoicism.

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Nero #32 - Michael Tremblay On Stoicism (part 1)

Fri, 15 Apr 2022 22:29:00 -0000

With the recent demise on our show of Nero's favourite Stoic, Seneca, we wanted to go balls deep on Stoicism. To help us out, our guest Michael Tremblay, who has a PhD in philosophy, where he studied Stoic ethics and education, came on and talk to us about the history and ideas behind the philosophy and the importance of Seneca. Here's part one of our discussion.

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Nero #31

Thu, 31 Mar 2022 05:04:00 -0000

In the year 66, Nero gets taken on a wild goose chase, performs some lovely poetry and harp concerts… oh yeah, and he kicks his wife to death.

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Nero 30 - HIgh Praise

Fri, 18 Mar 2022 23:25:00 -0000

This episode is brought to you by - legal weed!

The Pisonian Conspiracy is over. Rewards are handed out to those who remained loyal. The Senate wants to make Nero a living god.

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Nero #29

Tue, 01 Mar 2022 23:47:00 -0000

Next on the chopping block is Seneca, Nero’s old tutor and adviser and leading Stoic. Historians seem to think he wasn’t directly involved in the conspiracy - but he probably knew about it.

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Nero #28 - PISO FALLS

Sat, 19 Feb 2022 03:06:00 -0000

Nero hunts down the main conspirators. Some of them are captured, while others help execute their own colleagues without betraying their allegiance to the cause. Piso is urged to mount the rostra in the Forum and make a case to the people, but decides to take the easy way out instead.

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Nero #27

Tue, 08 Feb 2022 00:19:00 -0000

The plot against Nero continues to gather momentum but is finally betrayed by a freedman, a day before shit was about to go down.

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Nero #26 - The Circus Games

Fri, 21 Jan 2022 22:33:00 -0000

When one of the praetorian prefects joins the conspirators, they decide it's time to act. But they can't agree on a plan. It takes a woman to move things along.

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Nero #25 - Effeminate Vice

Wed, 05 Jan 2022 23:35:00 -0000

We’re talking about the Pisonian Conspiracy of 65. Who started it and why? Theories involve an angry poet and an angry gay man seeking revenge.

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Nero 24 - The Pisonian Conspiracy

Sat, 25 Dec 2021 00:16:00 -0000

Picking up after the Great Fire of Rome in the year 64 CE, we find Nero taxing everyone heavily to pay for the rebuilding of Rome and his palace. This, as well as the rumours that he started the fire, leads to the Pisonian Conspiracy.

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NERO #23 – The Great Fire Of Rome

Mon, 29 Nov 2021 00:58:00 -0000

If there’s one thing most people know about the Emperor Nero, it’s that he fiddled while Rome burned and that he falsely blamed the Christians. But how much of those stories are true? To find out, I’m joined today by Stephen Dando-Collins, author of “The Great Fire Of Rome” and his latest book “Constantine At The Bridge - How the battle of the Milvian Bridge Created Christian Rome”.

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Nero #22 - Constantine At The Bridge

Wed, 17 Nov 2021 04:41:00 -0000

We’re jumping out of our Nero timeline this week to talk to Stephen Dando-Collins about his new book, “Constantine At The Bridge - How the battle of the Milvian Bridge Created Christian Rome”, which examines the background of the events that lead to the famous battle took place late in October 312 CE - and what happened next.

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NERO 21 - PROMISCUOUS THONG

Thu, 11 Nov 2021 05:40:00 -0000

When Nero talks about going to Greece, to take his one-man theatre show on the road, the Romans complain. They don’t want him to leave! So he decided to show them how much he loves them - by throwing the craziest party ever seen in Rome. And that’s really saying something.

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Nero #20 BEAST OF BURDEN

Wed, 27 Oct 2021 22:09:00 -0000

Paetus’ war with the Parthians gets off to a great start, but quickly becomes a disaster for the Romans. Corbulo eventually needs to ride in and save his sorry ass and negotiate a new peace deal with Parthia. Meanwhile back in Rome, there’s no grain and Thrasea is out in the cold. When Tiridates goes to Rome for a sit down with Nero, he says he worships him like a god. He is ‘The New Apollo’ and ‘The New Sun’. Nero thought “hmmm, that gives me a great idea for a statue….”.

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Nero #19 - OH NO MENS

Sat, 25 Sep 2021 09:39:00 -0000

Nero has some freedmen executed but the stories are murky. The Parthians decide to try their luck taking back Armenia while Corbulo tries to keep the peace.

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Nero #18 - Eternal Decline P2

Thu, 16 Sep 2021 03:55:00 -0000

Edward J. Watts is a professor of history at the University of California, San Diego, and author and editor of several prize-winning books, including THE FINAL PAGAN GENERATION, a great book about HYPATIA, a book out about the collapse of the Roman Republic, MORTAL REPUBLIC, and his latest book is THE ETERNAL DECLINE AND FALL OF ROME. This is part two of a massive two-and-a-half-hour chat we had recently.

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Nero #17 - Eternal Decline Part 1

Sat, 04 Sep 2021 01:46:00 -0000

Edward J. Watts is a professor of history at the University of California, San Diego, and author and editor of several prize-winning books, including THE FINAL PAGAN GENERATION, a great book about HYPATIA, a book out about the collapse of the Roman Republic, MORTAL REPUBLIC, and his latest book is THE ETERNAL DECLINE AND FALL OF ROME. This is part one of a massive two-and-a-half-hour chat we had recently.

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Nero #16 - YOUR FILTHY LITTLE MOUTH

Fri, 13 Aug 2021 06:47:00 -0000

With Seneca out of the way, Tigellinus brings down the other prefect, Rufus. To strengthen his relationship with Nero, he increases his paranoia about the two men Nero had recently exiled for being threats to his power - Plautus and Sulla. Poppaea, not happy with Nero just divorcing Octavia, makes sure she gets rid of her forever.

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Nero #14 - Bloodshed And Destruction

Fri, 30 Jul 2021 06:26:00 -0000

Boudicea wins round one. But Suetonius has bloodshed and destruction on his mind.

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Nero #15 - 400 Slaves

Fri, 30 Jul 2021 06:20:00 -0000

In the year 61, Nero deals with riots, treason, Stoics and the death of one of his key advisors.

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Nero 13 - Badass Boudicea

Sat, 10 Jul 2021 04:27:00 -0000

Corbulo finishes round one in Armenia and gets a promotion. Meanwhile in Britain, a certain queen decides to take on the Romans - Boudicea. Exactly why, though, is a bit of a mystery.

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Nero #12 - Filthy Rabble

Fri, 25 Jun 2021 01:01:00 -0000

Agrippina is dead and Nero decides to party. Tacitus disapproves. He doesn’t like Nero’s parties and he doesn’t like his poetry. But then a comet appears, and everyone assumes it means the end of Nero’s reign - so they start looking for a replacement.

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Nero #11 - Stephen Dando-Collins

Mon, 07 Jun 2021 03:02:00 -0000

Stephen Dando-Collins is an Australian historical author, who, like me, once sold his soul to the gods of marketing and advertising but has been redeeming himself ever since. His new book is about the great Jewish - Roman war of 66CE, entitled "Conquering Jerusalem".

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Nero 10 - All Manner Of Depravity

Sat, 29 May 2021 02:46:00 -0000

We examine the circumstances and theories surrounding the death of Agrippina.

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Nero 9 - WHEN IN ROME

Sat, 15 May 2021 05:55:00 -0000

In the year 59, Nero decided it was time to get rid of his mother, Agrippina. But how much can we trust the narrative in the ancient sources? They have significant problems.

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Nero #8 - “Abominations And Wickedness”

Wed, 21 Apr 2021 01:35:00 -0000

Nero likes hanging out under bridges where he could “take his pleasures more freely” and his leads to trouble for Sulla’s great-great-great grandson. But Nero also wants to abolish taxes because he’s a dirty commie. Then the Germans start some shit and find out why he was called “ONE CHANCE NERO”.

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Nero 7 - Salacious Stories

Fri, 16 Apr 2021 21:55:00 -0000

Tacitus shares some Salacious Stories from Nero's Rome in the year 58 CE - mostly about ambitious women.

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Nero #6

Fri, 26 Mar 2021 01:23:00 -0000

There’s a war with Parthia, Rome’s boogeyman since they cut off the head of Crassus in 53 BCE, a hundred years earlier, and Nero sends Corbulo to deal with it. He whips his troops into order and kicks ass, wearing a mankini while his troops’ hands fall off from the cold.

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Nero #5 - Fight Club

Fri, 12 Mar 2021 22:47:00 -0000

Nero starts his own Fight Club. Apart from that, the years of 56 - 58 were pretty good. Nero made some wise decisions (no doubt with the help of Seneca), showing moderation and generosity. He was turning out to be an emperor of the calibre of Augustus.

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Nero #4

Wed, 24 Feb 2021 01:12:00 -0000

This is where the story becomes really weird. Nero, up until now the golden child, suddenly becomes a cold murderer with the murder of Britannicus.

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Nero #3

Sat, 13 Feb 2021 08:36:00 -0000

In the first year of his rule, Nero was a big hit. He built a wooden amphitheatre in the Campus Martius, flooded it, and held a naval battle with sea monsters. In his gladiator shows, nobody died, not even criminals. But then… Nero fell in love.

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Nero #2 - Nice Guy Nero

Fri, 22 Jan 2021 03:39:00 -0000

Nero becomes emperor on the murder of his step-father. He’s 16 or 17 years old. Why didn’t the Senate stop him? It might have something to do with Seneca and Burrus. Seneca wrote him a speech where he promised to be nice. And, indeed, the first five years of his rule seemed to go well. His mother, Agrippina, ruled by his side.

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Nero #1

Fri, 15 Jan 2021 22:22:00 -0000

This is the story of Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus. Known to us as Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. Or just “Nero”. On this episode, we ask - how is it possible that a man tutored and guided by one of the most famous Stoic philosophers, Seneca, would end up with the reputation as one of history’s worst tyrants?

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Claudius #15 - A Mushroom & A Feather

Fri, 18 Dec 2020 01:35:00 -0000

Messallina decides the time has come. She has a poison expert released from prison and they prepare a special dish of mushrooms for Claudius’ last meal. But the mushrooms weren’t enough and so they had to finish him off - with a feather.

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Claudius #13 - Roman Incest

Sun, 06 Dec 2020 02:39:00 -0000

Claudius and Agrippina get hitched despite the fact that she was his niece. She immediately starts to get rid of her enemies, reward her supporters, and prepare the ground for the next stage of her plan to make her young son, Nero, the emperor.

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Claudius #14 - Digging Tunnels

Sun, 06 Dec 2020 02:30:00 -0000

Claudius builds the world’s biggest tunnel and puts on a huge show to celebrate. But things don’t go to plan. Nero gets married and starts to build his political profile - he is only 16.

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Claudius #12 - Lips That Grip

Fri, 06 Nov 2020 21:49:00 -0000

It's 48 CE. Messallina is dead. So now Claudius needs a new wife. There are several candidates, including Julia Agrippina, the daughter of Germanicus, making her Claudius' niece. Conveniently, her rich husband had recently died. She is also the mother of a young boy called Domitius Ahenobarbus - but who will soon change his name to Nero.

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Claudius #11 - Deviant Behaviour

Sat, 17 Oct 2020 11:03:00 -0000

Gnaeus Domitius Corbulo - brother-in-law of Caligula - is sent by Claudius to Germany to deal with some rebellious tribes. But he's TOO successful, so Claudius calls him home. Messalina decides to get married again - while still married to Claudius. Surprisingly he isn't too happy about it when he finds out. So she has a date - with a sword.

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Claudius 10 - Santa Claudius

Sat, 10 Oct 2020 23:30:00 -0000

Messalina starts killing off men who refuse her sexual advances or who just have something she wants. Meanwhile, Claudius keeps being a nice guy and the people feel sorry for him.

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Claudius #9 VINI VIDI VICI BITCHES

Fri, 18 Sep 2020 01:29:00 -0000

The invasion of Brittania continues. When Plautius has them nearly finished, he sends for Claudius who turns up to take credit for the final blow. The Senate grant him tons of honours as a result of his victory. But he’s more interested in explaining to Romans how an eclipse works.

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Claudius #8

Fri, 11 Sep 2020 02:36:00 -0000

In 43 Claudius is consul again. Messalina is setting him up with girls to bang while she’s running sex parties in another part of the palace. Then he invades Britain, finishing the job Julius Caesar started nearly a century earlier.

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Claudius #7 - Mauretania

Sat, 05 Sep 2020 02:06:00 -0000

While the attempted coup was going on, Claudius had troops in Mauretania under the command of Suetonius Paulinus. One of Paulinus’ officers, Gnaeus Hosidius Geta, chases the Moors over the Atlas Mountains and into the desert - where he has to call on foreign gods to save his legions.

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Claudius #6

Fri, 21 Aug 2020 07:34:00 -0000

Messalina and Tiberius Claudius Narcissus accuse Appius Silanus, consul in 28 CE, with trying to murder Claudius - because they saw him do it in their dreams. After his hasty execution, Scribonianus and Annius, two of the guys behind the assassination of Caligula, revolt against Claudius, again trying to restore the Republic.

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Claudius #5

Fri, 14 Aug 2020 06:12:00 -0000

Claudius was a builder and a visionary. Humble and generous. He liked gladiatorial contests a little too much. But then there was his wife. Valeria Messallina. Like Livia, Messallina often gets blamed for some of the deaths that occurred early in his reign.

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Claudius #4 - The Good Emperor.

Fri, 07 Aug 2020 21:58:00 -0000

In the early days of his reign, Claudius tried hard to be fair, humble and down-to-earth. He forbade any one to worship him or to offer him any sacrifice and declared statues made of him to be a waste of money. It was too good to last.

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Claudius #3

Wed, 22 Jul 2020 23:24:00 -0000

When Caligula was assassinated in 41, Claudius hid in a room of the palace called the Hermaeum, and then behind a curtain on a balcony. According to Suetonius, he was discovered by a soldier named Gratus - Gratitude -

who said to his colleagues: "This is a Germanicus; come on, let us choose him for our emperor." But many in the Senate wanted to see him dead and a return to the republic.

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Claudius #1

Fri, 10 Jul 2020 22:44:00 -0000

The first 50 years of Tiberius Claudius Nero's life was a mixture of wealth, power and cruelty. With symptoms similar to cerebral palsy, the young Claudius was called “a monstrosity of a human being, one that Nature began and never finished" - by his own mother. He was kept out of public life and power by his adoptive grandfather, Augustus, and his successor, Tiberius. He was treated as a fool and a joke by his nephew, Caligula. But after Caligula's assassination, he took power by force, becoming Rome's first true IMPERATOR.

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Caligula 25 - The Partial Historians

Mon, 15 Jun 2020 06:15:00 -0000

In this special post-series wrap up episode of Caligula, I'm joined by my fellow Aussie history podcasts, Dr G and Dr R from The Partial Historians.

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Caligula 24 - Hoc Age

Fri, 29 May 2020 02:46:00 -0000

On the last morning of his life, Caligula entered the temporary theatre on the Palatine in a good mood. The conspirators attacked him in a narrow corridor, on his way back to the palace during the lunch break between performances. The lead conspirator, the praetorian guard Chaerea, stabbed Caligula in the neck, shouting "hoc age" - TAKE THAT! Then he was set upon by a crowd of assassins. Then they brutally murdered his wife and child. The assassins searched for Claudius to bump him off too - but he couldn't be found.

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Caligula #23 - - Finicky Anus

Thu, 21 May 2020 03:27:00 -0000

There's nothing worse than having a Finicky Anus aka Lucius Annius Vinicianus. According to Josephus, Vinicianus was one of the main conspirators. As we'll see, Vinicianus was a long history of conspiring against the Julio-Claudians - he was complicit in conspiracies to overthrow Tiberius, Caligula and Claudius. And his sons tried to overthrow Nero. The assassination of Caligula was planned to happen during the celebration of the Palatine games because Caligula had announced that he would be moving to Alexandria - perhaps permanently - the following day.

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Caligula #21 - Anthony Poulton-Smith

Fri, 24 Apr 2020 09:30:43 -0000

My guest today is Anthony Poulton-Smith - Freelance Journalist, Author of 78 books, and many more articles, ghostwriter, speaker and etymologist. Chair of Tamworth Literary Festival, Tamworth History Group. He spoke to me recently about the Latin roots of some of my favourite words. You know what I'm talking about.

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Caligula #20 - Hairy Antipasto

Sat, 11 Apr 2020 02:27:20 -0000

Caligula got back to Rome around May 40 but stayed outside of the city until he could celebrate his ovation on his 28th birthday, 31 August. In the meantime he met with delegations from various parts of the world, including Philo's delegation from Alexandria, and Herod Antipas and his wife, Herodias, from Judaea. Conspiracies against him are everywhere.

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Caligula #19 - Lindsay Powell On Caligula

Wed, 01 Apr 2020 11:21:38 -0000

Ray recently interviewed Lindsay Powell about Caligula. I asked Ray for show notes. This is what he gave me.

"We talked of keeping the sources in context, considering the times they lived it and agenda. He went deep. Then his analysis of the events in the German border and the coast of Britain. And his apparent fickleness, which in a ruler, effects everyone but also how people like Suetonius probably used that."

See? That's what I have to work with.

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Caligula #18 - Living God

Thu, 26 Mar 2020 02:38:58 -0000

Many historians claim that Caligula's demand to be treated as a living god is a sure sign of madness. And yet - JESUS claimed the same thing and nobody calls HIM insane. Why does he get special treatment? On this episode, we drill down into the evidence for the claim about Caligula.

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Caligula #17 - Brittanicus Germanicus

Fri, 20 Mar 2020 05:32:42 -0000

Caligula plans his invasion of Britain. It would have been the first time any Roman solider had been there since Julius Caesar. What motivated his plans? Was he even serious? It's often portrayed as a stupid stunt. But we discover there may be more to it. How did it fit into his German campaign and the conspiracies against him? And how does it factor into Claudius' later invasion?

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Caligula #16 - Bless The Rains

Sat, 14 Mar 2020 00:28:54 -0000

Sometime around the year 40, Caligula executed Ptolemy, the king of Africa Proconsularis and Roman ally. It's usually portrayed as evidence of his insanity and greed - but perhaps there is an alternative explanation.

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Caligula #15 - The Conspiracy

Wed, 26 Feb 2020 02:56:35 -0000

Caligula suspects a grand conspiracy against his person and the sword falls on a variety of people - including the commander in Gaul, his two surviving sisters and his best friend / lover, Lepidus.

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Caligula #14 - The Great Purge

Fri, 21 Feb 2020 05:25:22 -0000

Caligula built a 3-mile long bridge over the Bay of Naples. Why? So he could ride over it to prove someone wrong. Then he marries his third and last wife, Caesonia. Then he fires two consuls for not celebrating his birthday and starts a general purge of governors who are called back to Rome and, in some cases, charged with majestas. There's conspiracy in the air.

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Caligula #13 - No More Mr Nice Guy

Sat, 15 Feb 2020 09:38:56 -0000

In 39 CE, Caligula walked into the Senate and tore them all a new one. The gloves came off. The nice guy act was over. He criticized them for enabling Sejanus' persecution of his family and for criticizing Tiberius when in fact they urged him on. Then he reinstated majestas. The Senate responded by thanking him and singing his praises.

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The Psychopath Epidemic 01 - Corporate Psychopathy

Mon, 03 Feb 2020 10:52:19 -0000

My inaugural guest is Dr Nathan Brooks PhD from CQUniversity. He's a forensic psychologist with a background in researching psychopaths. He (and a couple of colleagues) have a new book that came out just after mine, called "Corporate Psychopaths". It's an academic book looking at many of the same issues as mine. It was great to speak to him last week and find that we agreed on everything, from the size and importance of the problem, to the causes and the cures.

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Caligula #12 - The Divine Drusilla

Tue, 28 Jan 2020 10:30:03 -0000

From his sickbed he named his favorite sister, Drusilla, to inherit the imperial "property and the throne". But when he recovered, he decided to rid himself of some enemies, real or imagined, including Gemellus, Macro and Silanus, his former father-in-law.

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Caligula #11 - Paranoia

Thu, 23 Jan 2020 07:26:39 -0000

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Caligula #10 - "Anal Maintenance"

Sat, 18 Jan 2020 00:01:32 -0000

Caligula's absolute favourite thing in the world, apart from spending money, is screwing. And seriously, who can blame him. It's good to be the king. And, like Ray, he was happy to be a power bottom. He liked horse racing, and was fond of poisoning other team's horses and riders. He liked actors, and was fond of beating people up who interrupted performances in the theatre. I wish we could do that to people who write moronic iTunes reviews. And then, a few months after he became Emperor, Caligula fell seriously ill. It would be the turning point of his reign.

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Caligula #9 - The Ships Of Nemi

Mon, 06 Jan 2020 23:07:42 -0000

The Nemi ships were two pleasure barges, one larger than the other, built under Caligula at Lake Nemi. Although there were several attempts to recover them from the 15th century onwards, it wasn't until 1929 that Mussolini ordered the whole of Lake Nemi would be drained and they were recovered and housed in a museum. And then the Americans decided to drop bombs on them, and they were destroyed, lost forever.

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Caligula #8 - Shamelessness

Fri, 20 Dec 2019 06:12:58 -0000

According to Suetonius, Caligula was quite proud of his "adiatrepsia" - shamelessness. He lived in habitual incest with all his sisters and was especially fond of Drusilla. He made her divorce her first husband and marry his friend and lover Marcus Aemilius Lepidus. In 37 he interrupted the wedding of Livia Orestilla so he could marry her himself - and then kicked her to the curb 24 hours later. Then he made Lollia Paulina divorce her husband and marry him - but he tired of her in six months. Then he married Caesonia, "a woman of reckless extravagance and wantonness". Six months into his rule, Caligula fell seriously ill. While he was sick in bed, Macro and Silanus apparently prepared for the worst. They started the wheels in motion for Gemellus to be declared the successor.

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Caligula #7 - Going Back To Cali

Sun, 15 Dec 2019 04:42:35 -0000

How does a 24 year old kid, who's never even been on a battlefield, let alone lead an army to victory, get declared "imperator"?

How would you handle it if you were granted ius arbitriumque omnium rerum ('power and authority over all things') and declared princeps legibus solutus (a princeps not bound by the laws)? Would you be able to handle it?

We know we wouldn't. Who would we have killed? Find out on this episode.

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Caligula #6 - The Maccabees

Fri, 29 Nov 2019 02:30:18 -0000

One of the other first things Caligula did when he took power was to release Herod Agrippa from jail - King Herod from the New Testament. The grandson of Herod the Great. Which all gives me an excuse to talk about The Maccabean Revolt and a short history on Judaean politics from 169 BCE to Caligula.

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Caligula #5 - Caligula's Popularity

Fri, 22 Nov 2019 05:42:08 -0000

By all accounts, Caligula was extremely popular with the people, as his father, Germanicus, had been. Suetonius reports that Caligula was "the emperor most earnestly desired". When he entered Rome, the celebrations are said to have gone on for almost three months, and more than 160,000 animals were sacrificed—and eaten.

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Caligula #4 - Monster Or Misunderstood?

Sat, 16 Nov 2019 03:18:54 -0000

We all think we know something of the story of Caligula. We have a picture of him as a destructive monster, an insane sadist. But truth is rarely that simple. Let's take a look at the sources and their individual biases. And let's keep in mind that Caligula was Rome's first true emperor.

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Caligula #3 - The Movie (Part 3)

Wed, 30 Oct 2019 10:50:35 -0000

We continue and finish our live commentary on the 1979 epic film, CALIGULA. Picking up where we left off last week, Caligula is fisting the married couple and he doesn't even remove his ring. A dark and stormy night leads to night terrors, a super hot threesome between Caligula, his sister and Helen Mirren, a gratuitous but welcome sultry Italian lesbian scene, spinning plates, a Helen Mirren does Madonna dance scene, some torture, a horse in a bed, death, crazy, an orgy on a fake ship, and we close with brains being bashed out on the stairs. It's one helluva film.

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Caligula Caesar #2 - The Movie (Part 2)

Tue, 22 Oct 2019 21:18:49 -0000

We continue our live commentary on the 1979 epic film, CALIGULA. Picking up where we left off last week, still in Tiberius' sex palace on Capri, with a lady holding a writhing legless lizard that she is apparently about to place inside her woo-hoo. Around the 18 minute mark of the film. This episode sees the death of Tiberius, the arrest of Macro, a bukake scene, Helen Mirren dancing and doing it doggy style, a possibly historically-inaccurate giant head mower, and Caligula providing a young couple with a wedding present to remember.

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Caligula Caesar #1 - The Movie (Part 1)

Fri, 18 Oct 2019 22:54:04 -0000

To kick off our Caligula series, we are doing a commentary on the 1979 epic film, CALIGULA. Written by Gore Vidal, directed by Tinto Brass, produced by Bob Guccione, starring Malcolm McDowell, Hellen Mirren, Peter O'Toole, John Gielgud, Teresa Ann Savoy, fucking, sucking, anal fisting, disembowelling, beheading, and more dicks and pussies than you can count. It's truly a masterpiece that you need to give a second chance.

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The Papa Bear Beat

Fri, 02 Aug 2019 01:30:12 -0000

When Ray's away, the Cam doth play.

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The Psychopath Economy - Introduction

Mon, 18 Mar 2019 05:59:12 -0000

Listen to me read the INTRODUCTION to my new book THE PSYCHOPATH ECONOMY. And you only have until 20 March to pre-order your copy!

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Help Jesus!

Tue, 04 Dec 2018 00:05:38 -0000

I just launched my second and last Kickstarter campaign for the Jesus film! Check it out, promote it, support it, lick it, rub yourself all over it!

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SPECIAL - Dr Richard Carrier

Tue, 27 Feb 2018 05:30:41 -0000

A special philosophy episode. Nothing at all to do with Augustus or Rome. No Ray. Just me and a special guest - Dr. Richard Carrier, who has a M.Phil. and a Ph.D. Ancient History from Columbia University. Talking about FREE WILL. Now most of you know that I'm as passionate about philosophy as I am [...]

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Live From Durham

Sun, 21 Jan 2018 06:18:19 -0000

A quick hello from our hotel room in Durham, North Carolina.

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Want To Come To Europe With Us In 2018?

Wed, 15 Nov 2017 23:38:06 -0000

Hey folks, I'm trying to gauge interest in a 2018 tour of Europe. I've had a bunch of people email me over the last six months asking for details - well, here they are. It's hard to come up with exact dates or costs until we have a much better idea of how many people [...]

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Inventing The Messiah

Fri, 10 Feb 2017 03:59:17 -0000

Our Kickstarter campaign went live today, so please jump on over there, and support us if you can. And, if you can't, but still want to support us, Tweet it, Facebook it, Reddit it. Thanks!

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Special Edition: TrumPOTUS

Fri, 11 Nov 2016 05:44:06 -0000

Just this one time, we ignore Augustus and Rome to do a special edition about what just happened.

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Life Of Augustus Announcement - Podcast Awards Nomination!

Sun, 29 May 2016 21:00:21 -0000

Thanks to everyone who nominated us for a Podcast Award! We made the official "Society & Culture" nomination list! Now we need you to go and vote for us. You can vote for us once a day. Vote early, vote often! If we win, there will be a very special event, kind of like the [...]

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Alexander Free Xmas Taste Test

Thu, 18 Dec 2014 15:11:56 -0000

For those of you who haven't subscribed to our new Life Of Alexander series yet, here's a free taste test, our Xmas gift to you. It's the first episode! If you have already subscribed and already heard it, please indulge us.... and listen again!

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Announcing The New Series!

Sun, 30 Nov 2014 14:06:58 -0000

Hey folks! We're very excited to announce our brand new kick-ass history series - THE LIFE OF ALEXANDER THE GREAT. It's going to be our wildest and best series yet! This is the guy that both Napoleon and Caesar admired and studied, so it only makes sense for us to tell his story next in [...]

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Announcing The New Series!

Tue, 20 May 2014 14:09:22 -0000

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Life Of Caesar

VES 30 — The Roman Hammer (Free Preview)

VES 30 — The Roman Hammer

VES 29 — Flame Beats Wood (Free Preview)

VES 29 — Flame Beats Wood

VES 28 — The Dagger Men (Free Preview)

VES 28 — The Dagger Men

VES 27 — One Punch, Paetus (Free Preview)

VES 27 — One Punch, Paetus

VES 26 — The Landlord of Judaea (Free Preview)

VES 26 — The Landlord of Judaea

VES 25 — Pliny's Guide to Menstrual Magic** (Free Preview)

VES 25 — Pliny's Guide to Menstrual Magic**

VES 24 — A River of Gold (Free Preview)

VES 24 — A River of Gold

VES 23 — The God in the Dog Mask (Free Preview)

VES 23 — The God in the Dog Mask

VES 22 — Titus' Victory Tour

VES 22 — Titus' Victory Tour (Free Preview)

VES 21 — **The Last Man Standing** (Free Preview)

VES 21 — **The Last Man Standing**

VES 20 — CROWNS FROM THE TEMPLE (Free Preview)

VES 20 — CROWNS FROM THE TEMPLE

VES 19 — YHWH v JOVE (Free Preview)

VES 19 — YHWH v JOVE

UNLEASH THE CARL – Vespasian #18 (Free Preview)

UNLEASH THE CARL – Vespasian #18

Goddamn it, Carl! – Vespasian #17

Goddamn it, Carl! – Vespasian #17 (Free Preview)

VES 16 — Slip, Trip, and Slit: The Floor of the Temple Claims Another One (Free Preview)

VES 16 — Blood on the Marble: How Not to Storm a Temple (Free Preview)

VES 16 — Slip, Trip, and Slit: The Floor of the Temple Claims Another One

VES 16 — Blood on the Marble: How Not to Storm a Temple

The One About Yoda - Vespasian 15

A Tight-Ass Situation in Jerusalem - Vespasian 14

Titus Likes It Tight - Vespasian 13 (Free edition)

Titus Likes It Tight - Vespasian 13

Three Walls and a Funeral - Vespasian 12

The Siege That Crawled: How Rome Engineered the Fall of Jerusalem - Vespasian #11

Miracles, Madness, and the Art of Siege Warfare - Vespasian #10

Blessed Are the Cheesemakers… and the Siege Engines - Vespasian #9

Batavians Dance, Romans Sink, Goodbye Tacitus

Gallienus: The Pragmatist Who Kept Rome Alive

Birds, Betrayal, and the Birth of Christianity - Vespasian #7 Preview

Birds, Betrayal, and the Birth of Christianity - Vespasian #7

Bitumen, Blood, and Bias - Vespasian #6 Preview

Bitumen, Blood, and Bias - Vespasian #6

Vespasian #5 (Preview) - Circumcision, Sabbath, and Salt

Vespasian #5 - Circumcision, Sabbath, and Salt

Vespasian #4 - Marc Hyden, author, "Emperor Titus"

Vespasin 3 (free) - The Sticky Wicket

Vespasian 3 - The Sticky Wicket

Vespasian 2 free - Big Dick Imperium: Vespasian’s Real Power Brokers

Vespasian 2 Premium - Big Dick Imperium: Vespasian’s Real Power Brokers

Welcome to Vespasian (free)

Welcome to Vespasian (premium)

Vitellius 20 Free

Vitellius 20 Premium - Despite Everything, I Was Your Emperor

Vitellius 19 (Free Version) - Rome’s Civil War Gets Horny

Vitellius 19 - Rome’s Civil War Gets Horny

Vitellius #18 - “Sword in One Hand, Paranoia in the Other”

Vitellius #17

Vitellius #16 - Civilis Burns

Claudius #2

Vitellius 15 - A Dose of Civilis

Vitellius #14 - Order 66

Vitellius #13 - Telly Tubby

Vitellius #12 - The Massacre of Cremona

Vitellius #11 - Guilt Shared By All

Vitellius #10 - Fabo and Longo

Vitellius #9 - STRIKE FIRST, STRIKE HARD, NO MERCY

Vitellius #8 - Ambiguous Generalities

Vitellius #7 - The Blockade of Italy

Vitellius #6 - Lord Caesar Vespasian

Vitellius #5 - The Mule Guy

Vitellius #4 - The Vespasian Invasian

Vitellius #3 - A Hideous Sight

Vitellius #2 - OMEN in the ROMAN

Vitellius #1 - The Third New Emperor

Otho #12 - Fortitude and Firmness

VES 21 — The Last Man Standing (Free Preview)

VES 21 — The Last Man Standing