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311. Former Tinder Sociologist Explains What We Get Wrong About Dating Apps w/ Dr. Jess Carbino

Fri, 30 Oct 2026 07:00:00 -0000

What if dating apps aren’t the problem, but the expectations we bring to them? In this episode, I’m talking with sociologist and dating expert Dr. Jess Carbino about how dating apps have changed the way we meet people, why we put so much pressure on finding an instant connection, and how to approach dating with more intention.

Jess shares what she learned from her time as Tinder’s 25th employee, why the spark isn’t the only thing that matters when choosing a partner, and how romantic relationships can help us understand ourselves and change the patterns we bring into our relationships.

We’re getting into how to...

Use dating apps as a way to meet people instead of treating every match like a promise of a relationship
Let go of the pressure to find a magical meet-cute or experience love at first sight
Balance chemistry and attraction with compatibility and long-term potential
Understand how our early relationships shape the patterns we repeat in adulthood
Think critically about how AI can help with dating and where it can get in the way of genuine connection
Decide what matters most to you before you start swiping
Know what you can and can’t learn about someone from a dating profile
Create a dating profile that reflects who you really are instead of who you think you should be
Stop trying to present an idealized version of yourself to attract a partner
Approach dating with more confidence and trust that not meeting someone yet doesn’t mean you never will

Plus, Jess and I answer a dating dilemma from a 46-year-old single dad who has started dating a woman again after their first attempt ended because she didn’t feel the spark. We talk about how long to give the connection to develop, what might be holding her back, and what he should consider before continuing to invest in the relationship.

MENTIONED

Jess’s upcoming book: Better Love — available to preorder through her website

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310. When They Seem Interested But Their Actions Don’t Match (Dating Dilemmas)

Tue, 27 Oct 2026 07:00:00 -0000

What do you do when someone’s words say one thing, but their actions tell a different story?

In this episode, I’m answering four Dating Dilemmas about confusing behavior, mixed signals, and figuring out whether a connection is actually right for you. We’re talking about someone who keeps dating you but won't define the relationship, someone who says they’re ready to date but isn’t available, a long-distance connection that goes nowhere, and a relationship that starts intensely and then ends abruptly.

The common thread? Instead of trying to figure out exactly how someone feels about you, pay attention to how their behavior makes you feel and whether the relationship they’re offering is one you actually want.

Submit a dating dilemma: https://forms.gle/qNimkXbWPwM4euW47

In this episode:

How to ask for clarity when someone avoids commitment
What to do when someone isn’t ready to date
How to navigate a confusing long-distance connection
Why intense beginnings don’t guarantee lasting interest
How to recognize unhealthy communication patterns
Why you don’t have to match someone else’s pace
How to move on without waiting for an apology
When to stop playing detective and trust what you see

MENTIONED:

Episode 306 on pacing mismatch

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309. How Falling in Love Turns Into Lasting Love w/ Kristy Scher

Fri, 23 Oct 2026 07:00:00 -0000

What if building a lasting relationship has less to do with falling in love and more to do with knowing yourself, choosing the right person, and learning how to love someone who is different from you? In this episode, I’m talking with relationship expert Kristy Scher about why we can’t rely on chemistry and the excitement of falling in love alone to build a lasting relationship, and how developing self-awareness and taking responsibility for our own behavior can change the way we show up in relationships.

Kristy breaks down the difference between falling in love and mature love, why disillusionment is a necessary part of building intimacy, and how learning to tolerate discomfort and embrace our differences can help us create deeper, more connected relationships.

We’re getting into how to...

Find the right fit instead of getting swept up in the intensity of falling in love
Understand the three essentials of a lasting partnership: love, lust, and like
Move through disillusionment and build mature love
Stay true to yourself while making room for your partner to be different
Recognize how social media shapes our views of relationships and gender
Understand how childhood experiences and personal wounds affect our relationships
Take responsibility for your own behavior instead of focusing only on your partner’s flaws
Appreciate your partner’s efforts while giving grace without dropping your standards
Get comfortable with silence and stop feeling responsible for carrying every conversation
Stop imagining a future with someone before you know them and learn to tolerate uncertainty in dating

Plus, Kristy and I answer a dating dilemma from a 26-year-old man who wants a serious relationship but finds himself imagining a future with women before he even knows them. We talk about why the desire for connection can make us rush ahead, how to get curious about our own unmet needs, and why taking the time to discover whether someone is actually right for you matters more than simply finding someone who’s available.

MENTIONED

Kristy’s year-long program: The Way of the Adored Woman™

Kristy’s Instagram

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308. Why Dates Feel Platonic (And How to Build Romantic Connection)

Tue, 20 Oct 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Have you ever gone on what felt like a really good date, only to get the dreaded “I had a great time, but I didn’t feel a romantic connection” text afterward?

In this episode, I’m breaking down what actually creates romantic connection in early dating and 10 ways to make it easier for that connection to develop without forcing chemistry, performing, or trying to convince someone to like you.

I’m getting into...

What a romantic connection actually feels like in the first few dates
Why a great conversation doesn’t always translate into romantic chemistry
Why first dates can feel more like performances than real connection
The interview, audition, and evaluation date traps that keep dates feeling platonic
Why playing it cool and waiting for the other person to make every move can kill momentum
How compliments, vulnerability, and follow-up questions create more connection
Why showing more of your personality makes you more attractive to the right people
The role texting and between-date communication plays in building momentum
Why physical touch and flirting matter and how to do both without making things overly sexual
How being honest about your interest can make dating feel less confusing
Why talking about your goals and dreams can create surprising intimacy
How to give someone more access to the real you without oversharing
Why your job isn’t to make someone like you, but to make it possible for them to actually get to know you

Plus, I answer a Dating Dilemma from a listener wondering how to embrace a slow burn when the person she’s dating is still seeing other people, including how to think about exclusivity, sex, and boundaries in early dating.

MENTIONED IN THIS EP

Ep 211 on flirting w/ Francesca Hogi

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307. Stop Dating Like You’re Running Out of Time w/ Alex Daly

Fri, 16 Oct 2026 07:00:00 -0000

What if getting divorced wasn’t the end of your love story, but a chance to rebuild your life and learn to date in a completely different way? In this episode, I’m talking with dating-after-divorce creator Alex Daly about dating after divorce, rebuilding your life from scratch, and how approaching dating with curiosity and an experimental mindset can help you figure out what you actually want.

Alex shares her experience of getting divorced in her late 30s, moving to a new city, and re-entering the dating world after a long break. We’re talking about her Hoe era, why dating doesn’t have to be so serious, and how letting go of the pressure to find a relationship can actually create space for a connection to develop naturally. We’re getting into how to...

Rebuild your life and approach dating after divorce
Use dating as an opportunity to explore what you actually want
Have a "Hoe era" without shame, guilt, or putting pressure on yourself to find a relationship
Date safely and have conversations about sexual health
Handle ghosting and other disappointing parts of dating without taking them personally
Let go of arbitrary dating rules and take an experimental approach instead
Know when it’s time to try dating outside of your usual “type”
Transition from enjoying your single life into a relationship without rushing it
Have check-in conversations with a new partner without turning them into pressure-filled “what are we?” conversations
Look at your own patterns and take responsibility for how you show up in relationships
Talk about divorce in early dating without oversharing or bad-mouthing your ex
Build a relationship differently after learning from what didn’t work in the past
Trust that it’s never too late to start over, date, explore, or find love

Plus, Alex and I answer a dating dilemma from a listener who has spent years repeating a cycle with her ex-husband and continues to find herself attracted to men who don’t choose her.

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306. It's Ok If You're Not Aligned On How Fast (Or Slow) To Progress In Early Dating

Tue, 13 Oct 2026 07:00:00 -0000

How fast should a relationship actually move? In this episode, I’m breaking down one of the trickiest parts of early dating: what to do when you and the person you’re dating aren’t moving at the same pace. We’ll talk about why pacing mismatches are so normal, how to tell when a relationship is simply moving slowly versus going nowhere, and how to navigate it when one person is ready for the next step before the other.

I'm getting into...

Why there’s no universal timeline for becoming official, having sex, saying “I love you,” or hitting other relationship milestones
The difference between a pacing mismatch and a pacing problem
Why wanting the same relationship but moving at different speeds can still work
How to talk about pacing without turning every date into a relationship check-in
What to say when you need more time or when you’re the one waiting
Why someone moving slowly doesn’t necessarily mean they’re less interested in you
How to know when “slow” has become stagnant
The five areas of a relationship where you should still see some forward motion
Why catching feelings makes pacing feel so much more stressful
How to stay present and keep vetting someone instead of obsessing over the next milestone

Plus, I answer a Dating Dilemma from a listener whose two past connections unexpectedly came back into her life.

MENTIONED:

The Slow Burn Masterclass: How To Stop Rushing Connections - live on 10/19!

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305. The Truth About 50/50 and Dating as an Ambitious Woman w/ Stefanie O’Connell

Fri, 09 Oct 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Why do so many couples who believe in equality still end up falling into traditional gender roles? I’m joined by Stefanie O’Connell Rodriguez, author of The Ambition Penalty, to talk about what happens when money, ambition, power, and gender collide in dating and relationships.

We get into why women’s success can create unexpected tension in heterosexual relationships, what happens when a woman earns more than her male partner, and why saying you want an equal relationship is very different from building one in practice. We also talk about dating when you’re financially successful, expanding what it means to “provide,” when to start talking about money, and how to think about a partner who isn’t where you want them to be financially.

In this episode...

Why modern couples still fall into traditional gender roles
What can happen when a woman earns more than her male partner
Why believing in equality doesn’t automatically create an equal relationship
What real support for an ambitious partner looks like in practice
Why “providing” in a relationship should mean much more than money
When and how to start talking about salary, debt, savings, and finances while dating
How to date someone who is financially behind without dating their potential
Why having a full life and strong community outside your relationship matters

MENTIONED

Stefanie’s Substack, Too Ambitious

Fair Play by Eve Rodsky

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304. Essential Texting Do's & Don'ts For Early Dating (throwback)

Tue, 06 Oct 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Texting can create SO much unnecessary anxiety in early dating. You’re wondering if you’re texting too much, if you should text first, why they suddenly seem less responsive, or whether someone who’s great in person but terrible over text is actually worth pursuing.

In this episode, I’m breaking down what texting should actually look like before, after and between dates so you can stop analyzing every message and focus more on the connection happening in real life.

This episode originally aired in December 2023.

You’ll learn:

Why texting too much before a first date can create false intimacy
Why you don’t need to wait for someone else to text first after a good date
The texting mistake that can turn a promising connection into a pen-pal situation
What realistic communication between dates can look like
What to do when you notice someone’s texting suddenly slow down or change
How to handle dating someone who texts much less than you’d prefer
Why double texting isn’t the dating crime people make it out to be
What to do when texting turns sexual earlier than you’re comfortable with

Plus, I answer a new Dating Dilemma from a listener who's worried she accidentally gave her date the impression that she only wants something physical.

MENTIONED

Speaking in Thumbs by Mimi Winsberg

Free Texting Templates!

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303. The Science of Getting Past Small Talk (And What To Share on Dates) w/ Vanessa Bohns

Fri, 02 Oct 2026 07:00:00 -0000

What if the secret to better dates isn’t saying the “right” thing, but worrying less about how you’re coming across and getting more curious about the person in front of you? In this episode, I’m talking with experimental social psychologist and author Vanessa Bohns about the science of what we say, what we hold back, and how other people actually respond to us.

Vanessa breaks down why we often underestimate how much people like us, why vulnerability tends to go over better than we expect, and how asking the right kinds of questions can create more intimacy without making a date feel like an interview.

We’re getting into how to...

Decide when to share something vulnerable or sensitive in early dating
Tell the difference between healthy vulnerability and trauma dumping
Figure out why you feel the urge to disclose something
Talk about your accomplishments without sounding like you’re bragging
Understand the “liking gap” and why your dates may like you more than you think
Ask questions that actually build connection instead of slipping into interview mode
Use follow-up questions to naturally get into deeper conversations
Handle dates where you’re doing all the asking and they aren’t asking anything back
Decide whether you should give someone feedback after a date
Be honest without saying something unnecessarily hurtful
Stop focusing so much on impressing someone and start paying attention to whether you actually like them

Plus, Vanessa and I answer a dating dilemma from a listener who is four dates in with someone she likes and wondering whether she should proactively tell him she’s still dating other people.

MENTIONED

Vanessa's book: Should I Say Something?: The Science of What to Share―and What to Keep to Yourself

Vanessa's Instagram

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302. How Do You Know If You’re In a Healthy Relationship?

Tue, 29 Sep 2026 07:00:00 -0000

How do you actually know if you’re in a healthy relationship? In this episode, I’m breaking down the four pillars I believe healthy relationships are built on: responsiveness, safety, freedom, and connection. We’ll talk about what each one actually looks like, where we tend to get it wrong, and how you can start building these qualities from the very beginning of dating.

I'm getting into...

What it really means to feel understood and cared for by your partner
Why validation doesn’t mean agreeing with everything your partner says
How to tell the difference between relationship safety and simply avoiding conflict
Why calm and steadiness aren’t signs that something is missing
How independence and freedom can actually strengthen your relationship
Why your partner shouldn’t have to be your entire support system
How small everyday “bids for connection” build intimacy over time
What to look for in early dating if you want to build a healthy long-term relationship
Four questions you can ask yourself to assess the health of your relationship

Plus, I answer a Dating Dilemma from a listener wondering whether she should give a promising connection more time or whether she’s already trying too hard to manage her way into compatibility.

MENTIONED:

Episode 244 on building inner security

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301. How To Navigate Jealousy In Dating & Relationships w/ Ally Iseman

Fri, 25 Sep 2026 07:00:00 -0000

What if jealousy wasn’t a sign that something is wrong with you or your relationship, but an emotion you could actually learn from? In this episode, I’m talking with relationship coach Ally Iseman about why jealousy gets such a bad reputation, what it’s actually trying to tell us, and how to work through it without blaming your partner or shaming yourself.

Ally breaks down the different types of jealousy, including insecurity, comparison, fear of abandonment, distrust, and retroactive jealousy, and explains why learning to tolerate discomfort is one of the most important relationship skills you can build.

We’re getting into how to...

The difference between jealousy and envy
Figure out whether your jealousy is about you, your relationship, or something from your past
What to do when jealousy comes up
Work through retroactive jealousy
Ask your partner for reassurance without making them responsible for your emotions
Handle it when your partner is jealous of your past
Understand the difference between boundaries, rules, and relationship agreements
Stop trying to force certainty or commitment before you actually know someone
Build the relationship skills that help you navigate uncomfortable conversations
Decide what to do when the person you’re dating handles a situation in a way that completely turns you off

Plus, Ally and I answer a dating dilemma from a listener who showed up to a museum and caught the guy she was seeing on a date with another woman after he told her he was sick.

CONNECT WITH ALLY

on Instagram

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300. How to Stop Trying to Control Everything in Your Love Life (Dating Dilemmas)

Tue, 22 Sep 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Dating comes with a lot of frustrating uncertainty. You can’t know if attraction will grow, whether someone will choose the relationship, or how another person will react when you tell them the truth. In this special 300th episode of Dating Intentionally, I’m answering your dating dilemmas about what happens when you want certainty, but the situation simply can’t give it to you yet.

We’re getting into four dating dilemmas:

How long should you give someone to warm up physically when you’re tired of making the first move?
What do you do when you’ve been telling little lies to make someone like you and now the relationship is getting more serious?
Should you give a longtime friend a romantic chance when you’re not sure the attraction is there?
How long do you wait when your partner says they need to “figure things out”?

I’m talking about...

Why trying to control the outcome can actually make dating harder
How to tell the difference between accepting someone’s pace and ignoring your own needs
Why self-worth can affect how honestly you show up when you really like someone
What to do when you’re curious about someone but don’t feel an immediate spark
Why you don’t need to play out an entire relationship in your head before you’ve even gone on one date
What “figuring things out” should actually look like inside a relationship
How to make dating decisions when you have no idea how the story will end

And because this is episode 300, I’m ending with a rapid-fire Q&A covering questions like: What’s the most underrated green flag? How do you stop obsessing over someone after it ends? Should you give up if they cancel twice without rescheduling? How do you tell someone you don’t want to text all day? And how do you stay unbothered when you know the person you’re dating is seeing other people too?

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299. How to Stay Open When You’re Fed Up With Dating w/ Serena Kerrigan

Fri, 18 Sep 2026 07:00:00 -0000

What if dating felt less like a stressful search for your person and more like an experience you could actually enjoy? In this episode, I’m talking with Serena Kerrigan, creator and author of Let’s Fucking Date, about lowering the stakes in dating, stopping the need to control the outcome, and staying open to connections that don’t look exactly how you expected.

Serena shares how meeting her boyfriend challenged her assumptions about age, success, and what the “right” partner should look like, plus the mindset shifts that helped her stop overmanaging her dating life and actually enjoy it.

We’re getting into how to...

Use Serena’s “potential, practice, or plot” framework to make every date feel worthwhile
Stop putting so much pressure on every first date to become something
Stay open to people who don’t fit the picture you had in your head
Tell the difference between showing interest and doing too much
Give someone enough space to actually reveal how interested they are
Let go of control when dating feels uncertain
Get out of your comfort zone when your dating life feels stagnant
Stop treating self-improvement like a formula that guarantees you a relationship
Know when an “ick” is meaningful and when you might need to get a grip
Date with a more abundant mindset when age and timelines are stressing you out

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298. 7 Dating Mistakes That Make Finding a Relationship Take Longer

Tue, 15 Sep 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Feel like you're done wasting time on the wrong connections? I get it! In this episode, I'm breaking down seven of the most common mistakes I see people make in early dating, from dating someone's potential and staying in situationships to taking constant dating breaks, avoiding uncomfortable conversations, and being pen pals. I'm also sharing what to do differently so you can protect your time and energy and get closer to the relationship you actually want.

In this episode, you'll learn:

Why dating someone's potential can keep you invested way too long
How staying in a situationship can delay you from finding your person
Why constantly taking breaks from dating may be slowing you down and what to work on instead
How speaking up about small issues early can reveal someone's ability to handle conflict
What it means to date from your "back foot" and why it's a time waster
Why texting for weeks before meeting can create false intimacy
How to recognize red flags without confusing them with preferences
Why getting curious about someone's behavior can help you make better decisions sooner
How to stay grounded in who someone is today instead of who you hope they'll become

Plus, I answer a dating dilemma from a 40-year-old man who just learned that his new girlfriend occasionally smokes cigarettes and he's not sure what to do.

Ready to date with intention? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker at thedatetracker.com! (iOS link)

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Ep 260 - How to end a situationship

Ep 186 - Tips for taking a dating break

Ep 286 - Balancing effort in early dating

Ep 192 - Sneaky red flags in early dating

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297. Hidden Ways Low Self-Worth Shows Up in Dating (And How to Change It) w/ Dr. Marisa G. Franco

Fri, 11 Sep 2026 07:00:00 -0000

How much is your self-worth affecting the way you date? In this episode, I’m talking with psychologist and author Dr. Marisa G. Franco about how our past experiences can shape what we believe we deserve, how we interpret rejection, and even our ability to accept love from someone who genuinely likes us. We’ll also explore what it means to build self-worth and how to stop dating from a place of fear and start going after what you want.

We’re getting into how to...

Understand the difference between self-esteem and self-worth
Recognize when you’re dating to avoid rejection instead of pursuing what you want
Understand why rejection hits some people so much harder than others
Identify old experiences that may still be shaping how you see yourself
Stop assuming someone doesn’t like you when there’s no evidence they don’t
Build self-worth by paying attention and responding to your emotions
Know when you’re seeking healthy reassurance versus outsourcing your worth to a partner
Navigate dating when you don’t feel completely confident or worthy yet

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment by Dr. Marisa G. Franco

Marisa's website

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Episode 277 on IRL dating

296. How to Spot (and Break) the Dating Patterns Keeping You Stuck

Tue, 08 Sep 2026 07:00:00 -0000

There's a reason you keep dating the same people in different fonts: it's your dating patterns.

In this episode, I'm sharing the three patterns I discovered while tracking my own dating life, how they were getting in the way of the relationship I actually wanted, and what I did differently once I could finally see them. I'm also walking you through a simple way to identify your own patterns and turn them into experiments so you can start getting different dating results.

In this episode, you'll learn:

What dating patterns actually are and how they can quietly influence who you choose and how you behave
Common patterns like getting attached too quickly, chasing unavailable people, staying too long, or writing people off too soon
The three dating patterns I discovered in my own dating life
Why I stopped rushing physical intimacy and started approaching sex differently
How I realized I was trying to earn affection instead of evaluating whether someone was right for me
Why consistency can feel less exciting when you're used to chasing someone's attention
How tracking my dates helped me spot behaviors I couldn't see in the moment
How to turn your own dating patterns into small experiments that help you make different choices

Plus, I answer a dating dilemma from a 41-year-old man figuring out how to start dating again after a 13-year marriage—and how to avoid falling back into old people-pleasing habits.

Ready to date with more confidence? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker! (iOS link)

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

What my date tracking note looked like & the emoji key

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295. How to Give Someone a Chance Without Settling w/ Jordanne Sculler

Fri, 04 Sep 2026 07:00:00 -0000

How do you stay open-minded in dating without settling for less than what you want? And what happens when someone treats you well, checks a lot of the important boxes, but something still feels… off?

In this episode, I’m joined by licensed therapist Jordanne Sculler to talk about the messy, nuanced parts of dating that don’t fit neatly into a set of rules. We unpack why familiar relationship dynamics can feel more attractive than healthy ones, why self-awareness alone doesn’t always break old patterns, and how to tell when you’re honoring your needs versus shrinking yourself to keep someone around.

Listen for...

How to be open in dating without lowering your standards
Why dating checklists can get in the way of real connection
The difference between self-soothing and suppressing a legitimate need
Why someone healthy might initially feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar
How to stop focusing so much on whether someone likes you and ask whether you like them
What dating disappointment can bring up about your self-worth
How social media can reinforce negative stories about dating
Grieving the relationship or life timeline you thought you’d have by now
Why processing disappointment is different from simply “getting over it”
How Jordanne met her husband after initially writing him off

And at the end, we answer a dating dilemma from a woman wondering if she made a huge mistake by ending things with a great guy who didn’t feel like her person.

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294. 5 Tiny Habits That Will Transform Your Dating Life

Tue, 01 Sep 2026 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I'm sharing 5 tiny habits that can help you get better dating results, feel more confident and in control, and make dating a little more enjoyable. We’ll talk about how to make decisions without endlessly second-guessing yourself, learn from your dates, show interest without playing games, protect your mindset from dating negativity, and get clear on intentions early.

In this episode, we cover:

How being more decisive can build confidence and self-trust
Why tracking and reflecting on your dates can help you spot patterns and learn what actually works for you
How to show interest when you're interested without playing it cool or worrying about “double texting”
Why opting out of negative dating narratives can help you stay open and hopeful
How bringing up your intentions early can help you avoid confusion, situationships, and wasted time
Dating habits from the Dating Intentionally community that helped people stay grounded and keep going
A dating dilemma about bad timing, competing connections, and whether being direct after two dates was “too much”

Ready to date with more confidence? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker! (iOS link)

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Episode 286 - If they wanted to they would? The truth about effort in dating

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293. Why What Happens After The Date Matters Most (First Date Vibe Check)

Fri, 28 Aug 2026 07:00:00 -0000

What can you learn from a first date that was just okay? And why does what happens after the date sometimes tell you more than the date itself? This is another episode of First Date Vibe Check, where I bring on a listener to walk me through a recent first date, from matching and messaging to the date itself, the post-date feelings, and what happened next.

This time, I’m talking to Katelyn (39), a single mom looking for a long-term relationship. She met “Trey” on Facebook Dating, moved the conversation over to Instagram, and eventually went on a two-hour dinner date.

We’re getting into:

Why she prefers active first dates over dinner
How she uses Instagram in her dating life
The green flags she looks for in dating app conversations
How she realized she wasn’t actually that excited about him
Why feeling safe and having a “good enough” time doesn’t automatically mean you should go on a second date
The post-date interaction that gave her a whole new data point
Her firm boundary around second dates at home
How she decides whether to give someone another chance
And how to spend less time on the apps while getting to the date faster

Plus, Katelyn shares her best advice for staying positive when dating feels like a never-ending series of almosts.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Want to break down a first date with me on the pod? Apply here.

Get the Date Tracker app (iOS only for now) so you can do your own vibe checks!

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292. Getting Back Into Dating? How to Start Without Losing Your Mind (Throwback)

Tue, 25 Aug 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Whether you’re newly single, coming out of a long-term relationship, or you’ve simply been out of the dating world for years, getting back into dating can feel overwhelming. The apps have changed, the dating culture has changed, and you may have changed, too. In this episode, I’m breaking down how to get back into the dating scene with less pressure, more confidence, and a whole lot more perspective. Think of this as your dating bestie’s guide to getting your feet wet again without expecting yourself to immediately find your future spouse.

Listen for:

How to know if you’re actually ready to date
Why your first goal should simply be going on a date, not finding a relationship
How to lower the stakes
Why awkward, boring, or unsuccessful dates are actually part of the process
The different ways to meet people to date
How to manage fears around rejection, inexperience, being judged, or someone changing their mind
Why you need to stop getting ahead of yourself
How journaling, setting intentions, and finding ways to feel confident can make the process feel more manageable
The biggest lessons I learned when I jumped back into dating after a six-year relationship

And I'm sharing a new dating dilemma at the end about trying to figure out whether someone wants kids before you date them.

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

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291. Are No Red Flags a Green Flag? (First Date Vibe Check)

Fri, 21 Aug 2026 07:00:00 -0000

If someone doesn't have any red flags, is that a green flag? This is the third episode of First Date Vibe Check, where I bring on listeners who are actively dating to walk through a recent first date with me, from how they met and planned the date to what actually happened and how they felt afterward.

This time, I'm talking to Jenny, a 27-year-old in the UK who is relatively new to dating and using it to build confidence, meet people, and figure out what she actually wants. She met "Steve" on Breeze, an app that skips the messaging and gets you straight to the date. We're getting into her unconventional first-date setup, the venue that had absolutely no vibe, the spontaneous bar-hopping that followed, and the green flags and amber flags she noticed along the way.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Want to break down a first date with me on the pod? Apply here.

Get the Date Tracker app so you can do your own vibe checks!

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order! bboutique.co/vibe/datingintentionally-pod

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290. You Don't Need Certainty to Make a Good Dating Decision (Dating Dilemmas)

Tue, 18 Aug 2026 07:00:00 -0000

How much information do you actually need before you make a decision in your dating life? In this episode, I’m answering four real dating dilemmas that all come down to that one question.

We’re talking about dating two people and not knowing who to choose, deciding whether a sexual-health disclosure is a deal breaker, trying to figure out whether a struggling relationship is still worth fighting for, and realizing in hindsight that someone wasn’t quite who you thought they were.

The common thread? You’re rarely going to get 100% certainty in early dating. Instead, you have to learn how to gather information, stay connected to your values, and make decisions based on what you actually know, not what you wish you knew.

In this episode:

How to choose between two people without turning dating into a competition
What to do when someone discloses an STI and you’re unsure how you feel about it
How to tell when someone is overwhelmed by life versus no longer prioritizing the relationship
What to make of someone who seems great at first but gradually reveals a very different side of themselves
Why you should evaluate people against your own needs, not against each other
How to make good dating decisions without waiting for perfect certainty

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order! bboutique.co/vibe/datingintentionally-pod

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289. Is It Bad If A First Date Feels Too Easy? (First Date Vibe Check)

Fri, 14 Aug 2026 07:00:00 -0000

What if a first date is too easy and comfortable? This is the second episode of First Date Vibe Check, where I bring on listeners who are actively dating to walk through a recent first date with me, from how they met and planned the date to what actually happened and how they felt afterward.

This time, I'm talking to Carol Ann, a 47-year-old single mom in the Midwest who met Zach on Hinge after taking a several-month break from dating. We're getting into her dating-app approach, the messaging that led to this first date, and how she's learned to trust her body. Carol Ann also shares her thoughts on the spark, the green flags she noticed along the way, and what happened after. Stay tuned for her update at the end.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Want to break down a first date with me on the pod? Apply here.

Get the Date Tracker app so you can do your own vibe checks!

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order! bboutique.co/vibe/datingintentionally-pod

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Episode 285 with Chris Rackliffe about codependency

288. Why Relationships Keep Ending at 3 Months (Is It You or Them?)

Tue, 11 Aug 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Why do so many relationships seem to fall apart at around three months? You finally feel like things are going somewhere, and then suddenly, something shifts. In this episode, I'm breaking down the “three-month cliff” and what’s really happening when a promising relationship suddenly fizzles, pulls back, or ends.

We’ll talk about:

The 3 biggest reasons relationships fall apart around three months
How to tell whether it’s a genuine incompatibility, a commitment issue, or simply a lack of chemistry
Signs that it's you or them (depending on the situation)
How to actually make it past the three-month mark
Why a three-month relationship that ends is NOT a failure

Plus, I answer a dating dilemma from a 43-year-old man who is worried about eventually outliving his future partner.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

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287. When a First Date Feels More Friendly Than Flirty (First Date Vibe Check)

Fri, 07 Aug 2026 07:00:00 -0000

This is the first episode of a new series called First Date Vibe Check, where I bring on listeners who are actively dating to walk through a recent first date with me - how they met, how the date got planned, what actually happened, and how they felt afterward.

First up is Savannah, a 30-year-old middle school teacher in California who's had a wild six months, including discovering the boyfriend she'd been dating for three months had a wife. We're discussing everything from why speed dating rebuilt her dating confidence to sending the first message when nobody reaches out to the exact moment a good first date starts to get awkward. Savannah also shares the shift that took the pressure off her first dates: you don't need to feel romantic feelings on date one; you just need to feel safe and curious.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Want to break down a first date with me on the pod? Apply here.

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THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

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286. If They Wanted To, They Would? The Truth About Effort In Early Dating

Tue, 04 Aug 2026 07:00:00 -0000

When you’re always the one texting first, planning the dates, and keeping a connection moving forward, it’s easy to start wondering: do they actually like me, or am I doing all the work?

In this episode, I’m breaking down the truth about effort in dating: why some people initiate more than others, what someone’s effort actually tells you about their interest, and how to stop spiraling when someone goes quiet.

Tune in for...

What effort and initiation actually look like in dating (and why they matter)
The real reasons someone might not initiate, and why the reason doesn’t change what you do next
The one question to ask yourself when dating feels one-sided: do you want clarity, connection, or desire?
The “I can’t tell” text and exactly when to send it
Why “if they wanted to, they would” is complicated dating advice
The difference between having standards, setting boundaries, and trying to control someone’s behavior
Why initiation chicken and wanting to be chased can keep you stuck
How multi-dating helped me stop investing in people who weren’t showing up
How to tell the difference between a normal imbalance in effort and a connection that isn’t reciprocal

Whether you’re carrying a connection for a few weeks, wondering why you’re always the one making plans, or staring at your phone trying to figure out what their silence means, this episode will help you stop decoding their behavior and start paying attention to what their effort is showing you.

At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a man who reconnected with someone he dated 18 years ago and has spent two months texting without ever meeting up.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Close The Loop text templates

Free texting guide

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285. Why You Lose Yourself When You Start Dating Someone w/ Chris Rackliffe

Fri, 31 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Do you tend to go all in when you like someone, to the point where you've lost touch with your own life a bit? I'm chatting with Chris Rackliffe, an anxious attachment coach and author of Needy No More: The Journey from Anxious to Secure Attachment, who's helped thousands of people heal from patterns of trauma, abandonment, and codependency. We're getting into why we lose ourselves in dating and what to do about it.

We cover:

The earliest signs you're starting to abandon yourself when you meet someone new
Why resentment is the clearest signal a compromise has tipped into self-betrayal
Chris's framework for codependency
Why guilt is proportional to how long you've been overriding your own needs
His concept of emotional diversification, and why spreading out your sources of connection is a protective strategy, not just something nice to have
How to apply this whether you're in early dating or an established relationship
Whether opposite sleep schedules are actually a dealbreaker

At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about whether opposite sleep schedules are a dealbreaker.

CONNECT WITH CHRIS

Find Chris on Instagram and TikTok

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284. Rejected? Here's How to Bounce Back Faster In Early Dating

Tue, 28 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Rejection doesn't have to destroy your confidence or convince you that you'll never find your person. In this episode, I'm sharing how to bounce back faster after getting rejected, ghosted, or hearing "there wasn't a spark." We'll talk about why rejection feels so personal, how to stop the anxiety spirals before they take over, and the mindset shifts that will help you keep your self-worth intact while continuing to date intentionally.

Tune in for...

Why rejection feels so much bigger than it actually is
How to stop telling yourself hopeless stories after a "no"
The 24-hour rule for bouncing back faster
Practical ways to stop anxiety spirals after rejection
What to say when someone rejects you (and what not to say)
Why rejection isn't a reflection of your worth
The questions to ask yourself instead of "What's wrong with me?"
My own experiences navigating rejection while dating

Whether you've been ghosted before a first date or rejected after a few months of dating, this episode will help you move forward with more confidence and resilience.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Dating Roadblock Quiz
Episode 281 (Kelsey Darragh) on healing after heartbreak
Episode 221 (Cole Zesinger) on moving on after a breakup
My "closing the loop" text templates

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283. Relationship Compatibility: What Science Says Actually Matters w/ Paul Eastwick

Fri, 24 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Is someone being "out of your league" even a real thing? In this episode, I'm chatting with relationship scientist and author Paul Eastwick (Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection) to unpack the science of mate value, why matchmaking based on shared traits almost never works, and what actually predicts compatibility (it's not the traits on your list).

From decoding your own dating patterns to knowing when attraction is genuinely going to grow, this conversation is packed with practical, research-backed advice for anyone who feels stuck comparing partners against a checklist.

In this episode, we cover:

Why what you say you want in a partner doesn't predict who you actually choose
The truth about mate value and dating "out of your league"
Why matchmaking based on shared traits and interests rarely works
What actually predicts long-term compatibility (hint: it's not a trait)
Why attraction often grows slowly instead of hitting all at once
Whether a strict list of dealbreakers helps or hurts you

At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about a situationship where trust was broken, and whether it's worth trying to repair it.

CONNECT WITH PAUL

Love Factually podcast

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282. Flaky Dates, Slow Texters and Catching Feelings When It's Casual (Dating Dilemmas)

Tue, 21 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Dating today can be a mess, and so much of that mess stems from confusion, uncertainty, and ambiguity showing up in ways that just infuriate us. In this episode, I'm answering four listener dating dilemmas that each capture a different flavor of that chaos, from the planning-phase ghost to the partner whose humor crosses a line to the slow fade that sends you spiraling over someone you barely know. These aren't rare, one-off situations either. I hear versions of these same four patterns constantly, which is exactly why I wanted to break them down together. I'm covering:

What to do when a guy keeps initiating dates that never actually happen
Why a plan without a set time, date, and location usually isn't a real plan at all
How to know if you're being "managerial" by helping plan a date, or just being reasonable
How to handle a new boyfriend whose "jokes" cross a real line
What it means when a partner says the only way to be with you is to suppress part of himself
Whether to say something when a casual connection's slow responses start to bother you
How much effort is reasonable to expect when you're not looking for anything serious
How to hold onto your sense of self when someone goes quiet after a great phone call
How to tell the difference between an old trigger and an actual red flag in the moment

For each one, I give you the exact tweak I'd make if I were in your shoes, along with the bigger pattern underneath so you can spot it before it drains you again. My hope is that you walk away from this episode more decisive, less likely to spiral, and a little more convinced that most of this isn't actually about you.

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281. Why Closure Is a Lie (And What Actually Helps You Heal) w/ Kelsey Darragh

Fri, 17 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0000

How do you actually get over a breakup, and why does it feel so impossible? In this episode, I'm chatting with author and mental health advocate Kelsey Darragh to unpack the science of heartbreak, why no-contact is so difficult, and what actually helps you move forward after a breakup (It's not the closure moment you think it is).

From healing after a long-term relationship to knowing when you're ready to date again, this conversation is packed with practical advice for anyone struggling to let go of an ex or rebuild trust in love.

In this episode, we cover:

Why the story you tell yourself about your breakup matters
The psychology behind no-contact (and how to stick with it)
The truth about where closure comes from
How to know when you're ready to date again
Heartbreak vs. mental health: when to seek extra support
Whether you should tell a new partner about mistakes you've made in past relationships

At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about whether you need to disclose past cheating before entering a new relationship.

CONNECT WITH KELSEY

On Instagram

Get her new book, Don't Do What I Did

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How to nail a first date from start to finish

280. How to Vet Someone Before a First Date (Without Overthinking)

Tue, 14 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Not sure who's worthy of a first date? In this episode, I'm sharing my exact process for deciding who gets a first date, including the one screening step I wish I'd done more of before meeting people in person.

The 3 questions to ask yourself before meeting someone
What's actually worth paying attention to on a profile (and what to ignore)
Why over-vetting someone like a job interview backfires
How texting for too long creates a false sense of intimacy
Why a quick phone or video screening call beats weeks of DMs
How vetting works differently when you meet someone offline vs. on the apps

At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a woman whose boyfriend of three months lied about his age.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

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Tips for meeting the parents (and other relationship firsts)

Love Island Lessons: Breadcrumbing, Exclusivity & Waiting for Them to Change (Week 6)

Mon, 13 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0000

It's finale week, which means we're wrapping up this season of Love Island Lessons with five final dating takeaways from Love Island USA Season 8. In this episode, I'm breaking down why exclusivity has a place in modern dating (and why it's not the same as being in a situationship), how to recognize breadcrumbing before you get emotionally invested, and why waiting for someone to change is one of the biggest traps you can fall into. I also share my thoughts on what the compatibility challenge got wrong and why meeting the family is such a meaningful milestone in a relationship. Plus, we recap the finale couples, the winners, and the biggest dating lessons from the villa.

MENTIONED IN THIS EP

How to tell if you're compatible before you catch feelings

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279. Dating Habits That Actually Lead to Relationships w/ Moe Ari Brown

Fri, 10 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I sit down with Hinge's Love & Connection Expert, licensed marriage and family therapist Moe Ari Brown, to unpack what Hinge's latest LGBTQIA+ D.A.T.E. Report reveals about modern dating. We dive into why so many first dates feel like they're going nowhere, the surprising "question deficit" that's making it harder to build connection, and why clarity is becoming one of the most attractive qualities in dating today.

You'll learn...

Why so many people aren't asking enough questions on dates and how it's impacting attraction.
The best first date habits that actually lead to stronger connections.
What Hinge's latest dating research reveals about how dating is changing in 2026.
Why uncertainty is making people more intentional about what they want in a partner.
The difference between saying you're emotionally available and actually showing it.
How to communicate your intentions without killing the vibe.
Why consistency matters more than grand romantic gestures.
The case for embracing a slow burn
How to build attraction through curiosity, clarity, and genuine connection.
A listener dating dilemma: What do you do when you have a crush on your non-binary friend and can't tell if the feelings are mutual?

Whether you've been frustrated by awkward first dates, mixed signals, or conversations that never seem to go anywhere, this episode will give you practical insights—and a fresh perspective on what actually helps relationships get off the ground.

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Ep 186 on how (and when) to take a dating break

278. Summer Dating Tips: Keep Your Momentum When Everyone's Traveling

Tue, 07 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Summer dating is the best, IMO. Vacation flings, coordinating dates when everyone's going away, dating app struggles and more - we get into it all in this guide to dating in the summer. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma about a promising Hinge connection that fizzled out after both people traveled, and how to tell the difference between someone losing interest and your own anxiety talking.

You'll learn...

The conversation you need to have before you/they travel
The biggest dating app mistake to avoid in the summer
My tips for getting to the date quickly even when people's schedules are crazy
Advice for deciding to take a break (or not) this summer
How to navigate a vacation romance without the heartbreak and drama

MENTIONED IN THIS EP

Ep 277 with Camille Virginia about meeting people IRL

Ep 249 with Eric Resnick about revamping your dating app profile

The waitlist for Date Tracker, my new dating journaling app coming soon!

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Tips for becoming exclusive in dating

Love Island Lessons: Bad Friend Advice, Exclusivity Tips & Broken Trust (week 5)

Mon, 06 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Movie Night brought the drama and lots of lessons to learn about dating. I’m watching Love Island USA Season 8 to draw real-life dating lessons from it. This week (Episodes 23–29), I’m breaking down why feeling stressed more often than at peace is a major red flag, why even well-meaning friends can give terrible dating advice, and why you should check in with a friend before pursuing someone they're interested in. I also get into a better way to have the exclusivity conversation, what it actually takes to rebuild trust after betrayal, and why "fixing" a relationship is never one person's job. Plus, I share my thoughts on the aftermath of Movie Night and what all the chaos can teach us about healthy relationships.

MENTIONED IN THIS EP

How to define the relationship

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277. Get Asked Out & Become More Approachable w/ Camille Virginia

Fri, 03 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Approachability is a skill you can learn. I'm chatting with Camille Virginia, author of The Offline Dating Method and founder of Master Offline Dating, who went from a socially anxious introvert to one of the leading voices on meeting people in real life. I LOVE her book and this convo was so helpful.

We get into:

Where "high quality" like-minded single people are (and why you keep missing them)
The limiting beliefs holding you back more than a lack of single people
How to create a meaningful connection before you ever ask someone out
Reading the signals that someone is open to being approached
Sending signals that you're open to being approached

At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about how to safely and gracefully exit a date that's gone wrong.

CONNECT WITH CAMILLE

Camille's Instagram

Camille's website

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276. Are You Compatible? How To Tell Before You Get Too Attached

Tue, 30 Jun 2026 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I'm getting into how to gain more certainty in dating by figuring out if you're actually compatible with someone before you're in too deep emotionally. I'm breaking down the three tiers of compatibility (the big stuff, the important stuff, and the emotional stuff), the five things to look for in the first month of getting to know someone, and three ways to actually start building compatibility early on instead of waiting around to "discover" it. I also do a quick gut check for anyone seeing someone right now, plus why chemistry alone can never carry a relationship long-term and how Johnny and I built our own little love languages over time. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a woman whose date ghosted her after they slept together on date two.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

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Love Island Lessons: Casa Amor, Toxic Attachment & False Hope (week 4)

Sat, 27 Jun 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Casa Amor has officially arrived, and it exposed exactly why so many dating connections fall apart. I’m watching Love Island USA Season 8 to pull real-life dating lessons from the villa. This week (Week 4, Episodes 16–21), I’m breaking down why scorekeeping is a losing strategy, what having high standards actually looks like, and why asking about someone else's dating life too early can backfire. I also get into the red flag behind "I was just joking," why toxic attachments can feel stronger than healthy connections, and how hope can keep us stuck in relationships that aren't actually right for us. There's a lot to unpack after Casa Amor.

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275. Male POV: "If he's not making plans, it doesn't mean anything." w/ Jacob Lucas

Fri, 26 Jun 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Jacob Lucas, a dating coach who went from the boxing world to building a huge online following, helping people date with intention. We're discussing everything from his "love at first sight" story with his wife (and why he didn't act on those intense early feelings) to the difference between your gut instinct and your anxiety, to why some people text constantly but never actually make plans. Jacob also breaks down how to invite physical touch rather than force it, and why the right person never gets scared off by your boundaries. At the end, we tackle four listener dating dilemmas about long-distance dating with a busy partner, shooting your shot a second time, handling a too-touchy first date, and what to do when the conversation never goes below the surface.

CONNECT WITH JACOB

Instagram & TikTok: @jacoblucas101

YouTube: Jacob Lucas Dating Coach

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274. 10 Green Flags You Can Spot On The First 3 Dates

Tue, 23 Jun 2026 07:00:00 -0000

How much can you really know about someone after three dates? Not enough to know if they're your forever person, but definitely enough to spot signs that they're worth continuing to get to know. In this episode, I'm breaking down 10 green flags to look for on the first few dates that tell you to keep going! We'll talk about the difference between real green flags and behaviors that only look promising, why consistency matters more than chemistry, and how to tell whether someone's actions actually match their words.

You'll learn:

The #1 green flag that creates connection quickly
Why initiative and follow-through are different (and why you need both)
How to tell if someone is rushing the connection
The role consistency plays in building trust
What someone's relationship history can reveal about them
Why feeling calm around someone is often a better sign than feeling a spark
Green flags submitted by listeners from their own dating experiences
Behaviors that seem like green flags—but aren't

Plus, I answer a Dating Dilemma from a listener whose partner struggles with emotional conversations and discuss how couples can navigate different comfort levels around difficult feelings.

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Love Island Lessons: Rushing Sex & Why It Won’t Work Out (Week 3)

Sun, 21 Jun 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Things are not looking good for the islander's connections, and we can learn a lot about dating just from spotting the early signs things won't work out. I’m watching Love Island USA Season 8 to pull real-life dating lessons from the villa. This week (Week 3, Episodes 10–15), I’m breaking down what happens when you rush physical intimacy too soon, why emotional repair breaks down in early relationships, and how defensiveness can quietly destroy a connection before it ever has a chance. I also get into the importance of multi-dating in early stages, why slow-burn connections built on friendship can actually be stronger than instant chemistry, and how extreme highs and lows are often a huge red flag. So much to unpack here.

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Book: When Longing Becomes Your Lover: Breaking from Infatuation, Rejection, and Perfectionism to Find Authentic Love

273. Limerence vs Love: Why Uncertainty Makes You Want Them More w/ Amanda McCracken

Fri, 19 Jun 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Amanda McCracken, author of When Longing Becomes Your Lover, about the psychology term taking over dating culture: limerence. We're discussing everything from the difference between a crush and full-blown limerence to how ADHD can fuel the dopamine chase, why distance and uncertainty make feelings burn brighter, and how Amanda finally took her real-life crushes off the pedestal. Amanda also shares how she identified as a late-in-life virgin into her forties, and how she eventually built the secure, "boring," trusting relationship she once avoided. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about a casual hookup that turned into real feelings, right before he moved several states away.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Amanda's work: www.amandajmccracken.com

Instagram: @AmandaJMcCracken

Podcast: The Longing Lab

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Close the loop text templates on IG

272. “Am I Overreacting or Are They Just Not Interested?” (Dating Dilemmas)

Tue, 16 Jun 2026 07:00:00 -0000

We have five new dating dilemmas! I'm answering listener questions about uneven effort, intense early connections, addiction recovery, confusing endings, and relationships that move way too fast.

I get into...

What it means when you're always the one initiating dates
How to tell the difference between interest and investment
Why we ignore red flags when we're excited about someone
The mistake people make after noticing a shift in someone's behavior
Whether it's too risky to date someone in addiction recovery
If sending a "close the loop" text is actually worth it
What to do when a new relationship is moving at lightning speed
Why trying to decode someone's feelings often keeps you stuck

If you've ever found yourself wondering, "am I overreacting?" or spending more time analyzing someone's behavior than evaluating whether the relationship is working for you, this episode is for you.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Free dating FAQ guide: datingintentionally.com/gift

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Love Island Lessons: Falling For Potential & Empty Promises (Week 2)

Sun, 14 Jun 2026 07:00:00 -0000

What can we learn about dating from Love Island? Turns out - a lot. I'm watching Love Island USA Season 8 to pull real-life dating takeaways from the villa. This week (episodes 5-9), I'm getting into early dating expectations, knowing your needs, and how important it is to let someone show you who they are. Actions speak louder than words every time. I also talk about how people pleasing can be harmful and why it's GOOD that secure relationships feel boring. So much to unpack here.

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Secure by Dr. Amir Levine

271. How to Attract a Securely Attached Partner w/ Dr. Amir Levine

Fri, 12 Jun 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Have you read or heard of the book Attached? I'm chatting with Dr. Amir Levine, psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and author of Secure and co-author of Attached, a book that has indefinitely changed my life. In this episode, we break down exactly how to attract and spot a securely attached person in early dating, and how to build more security in your life (whether you're in a relationship or not). At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma from a listener who flew across the country for a guy who then changed his mind.

You'll learn...

All about Dr. Levine's CARP and SIMI frameworks
Why CARP should be your new non-negotiable dating standard
How to do a "CARP intervention" early without it feeling like a big emotional conversation
Why a secure relationship is supposed to feel boring
The strategy for distancing yourself from someone who isn't meeting your standards
Why most of us already have secure people in our lives and keep ignoring them
How your attachment style can be totally different with different people (yes, even your pet)

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Dr. Levine's website: amirlevinemd.com

Attachment Quiz

Dr. Levine's Masterclass: The Science Of Connection

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90+ questions to ask your date!

270. How to Nail a First Date From Confirming to Saying Goodbye (throwback)

Tue, 09 Jun 2026 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I'm walking you through everything you need to nail a first date, from confirming the time and getting in the right mindset to navigating the conversation, handling the check, and knowing whether to go in for the kiss. This episode originally aired in January 2024/ At the end, I tackle a new dating dilemma about a woman who's dating a guy who didn't acknowledge her birthday.

You'll learn...

Six mindset tips for a first date
My fave low-pressure first date questions
What to do when your date isn't pulling their weight
Who pays for the first date?
Why you should NEVER plan date two on date one

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

My dating "rules" episode

Anti-Ghost text templates

Relationship Needs Masterclass - June 22 & 29

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Love Island Lessons: Being Chosen, Anxiety Meltdowns & Multidating (Week 1)

Sun, 07 Jun 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I’m Talia, host of Dating Intentionally, and I’m kicking off a six-week “Love Island Lessons” series alongside Love Island USA Season 8 (spoilers for episodes 1–4) to pull real-life dating takeaways from the villa. Tune in to hear me break down five key lessons about early dating we learned this week in the villa: why trying to be chosen keeps you stuck, how jumping to conclusions pushes people away and tips for navigating a dating culture where multi-dating is the norm. I'm sharing my biggest gripe about first interactions on the show, which can teach us how to have better first dates.

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269. Finding Love in Your 30s After 6 Years of Dating w/ Rachel Saslaw

Fri, 05 Jun 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with my best friend Rachel Saslaw, founder of Storytell NYC. She talks about how she spent six years actively dating before landing a committed relationship with an amazing match in an unexpected way. We're discussing everything from why she refused to subscribe to the "men suck" mentality to using dating as a training ground for self-discovery to the "flirting with life" energy that shifted everything. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about a guy who went quiet right before a planned first date, then resurfaced at the last minute with a long explanation.

YOU'LL LEARN...

Why hating men won't help you date men (same goes for men dating women!)
How to set a "minimum viable goal" for dating when your calendar is packed
Why the most aligned version of you is the one who attracts the right person
How to give a new person a blank slate after you've been burned
The case for grieving your single years and not racing past them
Why low-barrier first dates (the coffee walk) beat the high-stakes dinner

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

The book we'll never shut up about, The Artist's Way
StoryTell - a live storytelling event in NYC

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268. 3 Signs You're About To Commit To The Wrong Person

Tue, 02 Jun 2026 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I'm breaking down the 3 core mistakes that lead people to commit to the wrong person. It's not a broken picker or a shortage of good people out there. I'm covering why dating for potential keeps you stuck, what happens when you don't know or can't communicate your non-negotiable needs, and why ignoring your gut (which is quieter than anxiety) almost always backfires. I share my own stories from past relationships, what these mistakes actually look like in real time, and what to focus on instead, so you can choose someone you don't have to abandon yourself to keep.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Relationship Needs Masterclass

How To Leave Your Situationship

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267. The Unexpected Truth About Finding Love Later In Life w/ Sandy Weiner

Fri, 29 May 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Sandy Weiner, a dating coach who has spent 13 years helping people date after divorce, and started her own dating journey at 52 after leaving a 23-year marriage. We're discussing everything from knowing when you're actually ready to date again to navigating the "jaded factor" in midlife dating to having the dating conversation with your kids (at any age). Sandy also shares why being picky about what matters and wide open about what doesn't is the mindset shift most people miss, plus how she creatively meets people offline through meetups, classes, and even emailing her network with her dating profile. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma from a 51-year-old single mom in a casual situation with a separated 43-year-old, and whether she should walk away or stay.

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Last First Date Radio

Sandy's IG

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266. The Check-In Questions I Swear By + Tips For Starting

Tue, 26 May 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Communication is the most important thing in a relationship, but no one tells you what good communication actually looks like in practice. In this episode, I'm getting into relationship check-ins: the structured conversations my husband, Johnny, and I have had about 70 times over three years, and the single biggest reason our day-to-day relationship is virtually tension-free. I'm walking you through the exact questions we use (based on the Gottman State of the Union method, with our own additions), how check-ins have actually changed our relationship over time, when to start doing them, how to bring it up with your partner without making it weird, what to do if things get heated, and the most common mistakes people make. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma about whether to give a great connection another shot after months apart.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

My original episode on check-ins (ep 14)
The Gottman State Of The Union check-in format
My post on other check-in formats
Free dating guides: datingintentionally.com/gift
My episode with Zach Brittle on repair vs resolve

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265. Yes, You Can Become More Secure While Actively Dating w/ Trevor Hanson

Fri, 22 May 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Trevor Hanson, a licensed marriage and family therapist. He and his team at The Art Of Healing help people move from anxious attachment to secure attachment in a structured, results-oriented way. We get into what anxious attachment actually looks like in dating for both men and women, why you can feel totally secure when you're single but completely fall apart once a relationship starts, and what emotionally corrective experiences are, and why they're what actually rewires your nervous system, not just reading more books or gaining more self-awareness. Trevor also shares why you don't need to be fully healed before you date, how conflict, followed by repair, builds real security over time, the problem with using AI to write your texts, and more. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma from a guy who's not sure how to follow up after sending someone a rose on Hinge.

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Trevor's IG

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264. Why They Seem Emotionally Available Until Things Get Real (Dating Dilemmas)

Tue, 19 May 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Emotional availability is one of the most desired traits in a partner, but it's so hard to find. In this episode, I'm walking through four real listener dilemmas that show how emotional unavailability actually shows up: from being blindsided by a breakup after a seemingly perfect relationship, to oversharing too early with someone you barely know, to getting stuck in a months-long holding pattern, to wondering if your sky-high standards are actually a wall. I'm breaking down what emotional availability really looks like, why "chasing the feeling" keeps people stuck, and how to start recognizing emotional availability so you don't miss it.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Episode 152 - a deeper dive on emotional unavailability
Episode 217 - with Julia Kristina, a therapist and expert on emotional intelligence and maturity
Episode 255 - healing anxious attachment with Rebecca Ore

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Sleepless in Seattle with Talia Koren: Rom-Com Vom

Sun, 17 May 2026 07:00:00 -0000

This episode originally aired on Sex Ed with DB!

In Sleepless in Seattle, a woman hears a stranger’s voice on the radio and decides she has to be with him. A few cross-country flights, some light stalking, and one dramatic Empire State Building finale later. Was it a recipe for true love? Or just another rom-com ignoring boundaries in the name of "destiny?"

In this episode, I joined DB to unpack the film’s gender dynamics, its borderline obsessive premise, and why rom-coms always overlook the stable, reliable guy.

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The "time-traveling" investor episode

263. Subtle Lies People Tell in Early Dating & How To Spot A "Dogfish" w/ The Dating Detectives

Fri, 15 May 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Hanna Anderson and Mackenzie Foltz, the co-hosts of The Dating Detectives, a podcast that combines real PI work with deeply ethical storytelling about people who got conned in love. We're discussing everything from what "dogfishing" actually is (and how it's different from catfishing) to the subtle early red flags most people miss, to why love bombing feels so good even when it's a setup. Mackenzie and Hanna also share their PI-approved guide to vetting someone you're dating without feeling "crazy," including the exact line to use when you've found something on them, plus practical safety tools every single person should know about. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about a guy who keeps liking other women's photos on Instagram after being asked to stop.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

"The Origin Story" — the case that inspired the show

The crypto catfish (FaceTime sob story episode)

The Twitter vegan episode

The "evil stepmother" episode

My guest appearance on The Dating Detectives!

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262. When You Don’t Feel Attracted Right Away (How Long To Wait)

Tue, 12 May 2026 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I'm covering how attraction actually works when you're dating for a long-term relationship, from how to know if you're attracted to someone and what's "enough," to how long to give it before walking away, to how attraction can grow over time and what it actually takes for that to happen. I'm also answering a few listener questions, and at the end, I tackle a dating dilemma about a confusing Bumble interaction.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

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We Are Child Free Podcast

261. Kids vs Childfree: Dating When You're Unsure or Mismatched w/ Keltie Maguire

Fri, 08 May 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Keltie Maguire, a life coach who specializes in helping people navigate the kids-or-child-free decision — a topic we've never covered on this show before. After spending years as a fence-sitter herself before ultimately choosing a child-free life, Keltie now helps individuals and couples gain clarity on one of the most complex decisions they'll ever make. We're discussing everything from why "you'll just know" is terrible advice to why a pros and cons list won't actually help you, how to approach this decision when you're ambivalent, and why both people in a couple need to be willing to compromise. Keltie also shares how to talk about the kids question while you're dating: when to bring it up, what to put on your profile, and what to do when your person isn't sure. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about a woman who's finally found a stable, kind man she feels safe with, but she's embarrassed by how he looks.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Kids or Child Free Podcast (Keltie's pod)

The Baby Decision (book)

Amanda White's Substack, Fence Sitter

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260. How to Spot a Situationship, End It, and Move On

Tue, 05 May 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Don't let your situationship stop you from getting into a relationship. In this episode, I'm getting into how situationships happen in the first place to why leaving feels impossible to the exact words to use when you finally end it. I share my own 2-year situationship story, break down the difference between situationships and casual dating or friends with benefits, and give you a real plan for healing that works. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma about how to handle inconsistent communication early on when someone takes three days to confirm date plans.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Signs you're in a situationship (ep 69)

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259. The 5 Stages of Dating & Why Most People Don't Make It to Commitment w/ Amy Chan

Fri, 01 May 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Amy Chan, relationship expert, retreat founder, and author of the brand-new book Unsingle, about why most people are just a few strategic adjustments away from finding their match. We're discussing everything from the dating funnel (and which stage you're most likely sabotaging) to the spectrum between having no standards and over-icking yourself out of love to why dating is a personality game, but relationships are a character game. Amy also breaks down the difference between preferences and non-negotiables, why narcissists are actually great daters, and how to build intuition so you stop overriding your gut. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about taking it slow with a work crush you've known for seven months.

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Listen to our first ep together (about break ups)

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Ep 244: Building inner security

258. Top 5 Tips To Stay Connected Between Dates (And Build Momentum)

Tue, 28 Apr 2026 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I'm covering one of the biggest sticking points in early dating: feeling connected between dates. I'm getting into the mindset work and how to stop the spiral, including my top practical tips for building connection between dates without overdoing it. Along the way, we talk about the role of phone calls, texting habits, and how to bring this up on a date without making it awkward. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a woman who's questioning her long-term compatibility with an on-and-off boyfriend of 2 years.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Epi 209: Why self-trust is key to feeling safe

Ep 138: Developing self-compassion

Texts that are better than "how are you?"

What are you looking forward to this week?
What was the best part of your day?
What’s a win you had today?
What’s the most interesting thing that happened to you this week?
What did you see recently that’s living rent-free in your mind?
If we could skip to the weekend right now, what's the first thing you’d do?
What food are you currently craving?

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257. What Reality TV Says About Dating Culture (And What We Can Learn) w/ Dear Shandy

Fri, 24 Apr 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Sharleen Joynt and Andy Levine, the husband-and-wife hosts of Dear Shandy, one of my favorite reality TV recap podcasts. We're discussing everything from what Love Is Blind contestants keep getting wrong (and how it mirrors real life) to why Andy believes online dating is the slow death of modern romance, to how to bring up the "big" topics on a first date. This episode is packed with practical dating advice from a couple who have seen it all. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma from a woman who's not sure whether her boyfriend's travel issues are a dealbreaker.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Ruby the dog: @shandyspoo

My 5 needs in a partner

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How to Identify Your Needs course

256. How To Actually Stay Motivated While Dating (throwback)

Tue, 21 Apr 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I went on about 150 dates with over 60 people in a year before I met my now husband, and don't for a second think "hope" is what got me through it and kept me motivated. In this episode, which originally aired in 2024, I'm sharing why hope is useless and what to focus on instead: your beliefs. I didn't hope I'd meet someone; I believed it was inevitable. Listen to this episode if you're ready to work on your beliefs so you don't burn out after the rejection, false starts, and ghosting (that's also inevitable if you're dating). At the end, I get into a new dating dilemma about a dramatic reaction to a last-minute date switch-up.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Episode #68 with Jackie Glaser (self-worth + beliefs)

Thank you, More Please by Lily Womble

F the Fairytale by Damona Hoffman

Breakup Bootcamp by Amy Chan

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255. Why You Feel More Anxious When You Like Someone (And What To Do) w/ Rebecca Ore

Fri, 17 Apr 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Rebecca Ore, a relationship coach and former anxiously attached dater who transformed her own relationship experience after discovering thought work and coaching. We're discussing everything from why you feel totally fine when you're single but fall apart the second you start liking someone, to what it actually means to stop trying to control your partner and start coming back to yourself. Rebecca also shares her personal experience of learning to separate her self-worth from how others treat her, and how that shift changed everything in her current relationship. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma from a woman who had a five-hour first date and hadn't heard from them two days later.

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254. Breadcrumbed by a Bartender, Boring Dates & Low Attraction (Dating Dilemmas)

Tue, 14 Apr 2026 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I'm answering four listener dating dilemmas, from deciding whether a "boring" but stable guy is worth more dates to navigating attraction when everything else aligns, to catching feelings for a newly single college friend, to dealing with a breadcrumbing bartender. I'm sharing how to tell the difference between "boring" and "bored," a better way to think about attraction, and why "right person, wrong time" is a trap.

Want my advice on your situation? ⁠Submit your dating dilemma here.

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Listen to our first conversation about Burned Haystack

253. How The Creator of Burned Haystack Method Found Love on Hinge w/ Dr. Jennie Young

Fri, 10 Apr 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Dr. Jennie Young, creator of the Burned Haystack Dating Method and author of the brand-new book Burn the Haystack, on round two! This time, we're getting into everything from her own success story to how to spot toxic dating coaches to why the "ick" deserves way more credit than it gets. Jennie also breaks down how she uses Burn the Haystack beyond the apps, the rhetorical patterns that didn't make it into the book, and the exact opening prompt that reveals her matches political affiliation 99% of the time. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about a woman two and a half months into a relationship with a really nice guy she just isn't falling for.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Read Jennie's Substack

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252. How to Break Out Of The "Should I Stay Or Go?" Loop In Relationships

Tue, 07 Apr 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm getting into relationship rumination and that "should I stay or should I go" loop that keeps you stuck without ever actually making a decision. I'm covering the science behind why your brain does this, the difference between ambivalence and relationship anxiety, and a set of guided reflection questions to help you figure out what you actually want. I also share my own experience ruminating for years before leaving my ex, answer listener questions from Instagram about dealbreakers, timelines, and finding the courage to leave, and give you practical tips for breaking the cycle. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a woman whose boyfriend of four years has always said he can't marry her.

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251. What To Say In Conflict For Calmer Communication w/ Rikki Cloos

Fri, 03 Apr 2026 04:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Rikki Cloos, the creator and author of Anxious Hearts Guide, one of the most grounded, accessible resources out there for healing insecure attachment. We're discussing communication mistakes most of us make without realizing it, why the words we say rarely match what we actually mean, and how that gap affects relationships. Rikki also shares her framework for improving communication and the seven relationship agreements she has with her husband. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma from a listener who's been in couples therapy for months but is somehow feeling more distant from her partner.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Episode 48 - all about getting your needs met as an anxiously attached person

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Ep 244 - Building Inner Safety & Security

250. Top 5 Ways To Show Interest In Someone (Even If You're Shy)

Tue, 31 Mar 2026 04:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I'm breaking down five practical ways to show interest in early dating, even if you're shy, introverted, or just plain terrified. I'm covering what works, no matter how comfortable you are with dating, and why most people hold back too much. Plus, I share some truly cringe-worthy things my listeners (and I) have done to show interest, and at the end, I tackle a dating dilemma about whether you should give someone feedback after you've already moved on.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

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249. What Your Dating App Profile Is Really Saying (And How to Fix It) w/ Eric Resnick

Fri, 27 Mar 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Eric Resnick, a dating profile expert with over 20 years of experience and 40,000+ profiles reviewed. We're discussing everything from why Bumble and Tinder are emotionally unhealthy by design, to what your photos are actually saying about you, to how to fix a profile that's getting zero matches, or way too many of the wrong ones. Eric also shares why women need to stop being passive on the apps and what a truly conversation-starting profile actually looks like. At the end, we review two real listener profiles live and break down exactly what to change.

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⁠Ask a question for me to answer on the pod⁠!

248. Why Early Dating Is So Confusing Right Now (Dating Dilemmas)

Tue, 24 Mar 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm answering five dating dilemmas that all circle the same messy truth: early dating is confusing, and you're not alone if you feel like you and your date are on completely different planets. Dating dilemmas:

She's 5 dates in with a guy who's sweet in person, but is still active on the apps.
She's keeps leaving great first dates only to wait in silence, wondering if she should just text first or hold out.
He says he's "open-minded" and she's trying to figure out if that's a green light or a waste of her time.
She met a guy at a party, he kissed her and begged her to text him... then gave her the wrong number.
Men on the apps keep asking her out in their very first message, then disappearing when she asks to chat first.

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247. The Truth About Low Libido In Relationships (And How to Get It Back) w/ Hannah Johnson

Fri, 20 Mar 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Hannah Johnson, aka The Libido Fairy, a sex educator with over half a million followers who helps women reclaim their desire and actually enjoy sex. We're discussing everything from why women lose their sex drive in long-term relationships to the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire to why sex needs to feel rewarding to work. Hannah also shares her brilliant "King and Queen Day" concept (a structured, communication-forward way to feel deeply taken care of by your partner) and her take on transition activities that help your nervous system shift into intimacy mode. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about someone who ignored major red flags and got emotionally attached anyway.

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Here's my original episode on defining the relationship (DTR)

246. Is Exclusivity a Thing and When Do You Bring It Up?

Tue, 17 Mar 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm breaking down one of the most asked-about milestones in modern dating: exclusivity. I'm covering the difference between being exclusive and defining the relationship, the signs you're actually ready to have this conversation, and how to bring it up without coming off too eager or waiting too long. I also get into how so many situationships are born in this exact moment and what to do if their answer is vague or non-committal. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a woman whose boyfriend's best friend is using manipulation and self-harm threats to interfere with their relationship, and what she needs to hear.

The line: "Hey, I'm enjoying this connection so much that I just want to focus on getting to know you more, and I'm not seeing anyone else."

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

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245. You're Not Behind: Dating Timelines & Letting Go of the Script w/ Emma Wilson

Fri, 13 Mar 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Emma Wilson, dating coach and creator of the Turning 30 community for single women, who went through a major breakup at 33, built her business from the ground up, moved to Costa Rica for five months, and eventually found her partner in the most unexpected place. We're discussing everything from how societal pressure tricks us into thinking we're ready for a relationship when we're not, to what it actually looks like to trust your timeline without it feeling like an empty cliché. Emma also shares her concept of "expanders"—real people who show you that your path is possible, plus her honest take on slow burn attraction and why butterflies don't have to be instant. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma from a listener who keeps hearing she's great but that the "butterflies just weren't there"—and what that feedback actually means.

Check out Emma's podcast, Turning 30!

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244. Building Inner Security So Dating Doesn't Make You Spiral

Tue, 10 Mar 2026 07:00:00 -0000

I'm talking about one of the most important things you can work on, no matter where you are in life: building security within yourself. I'm covering what self-security actually looks like, from meeting yourself with compassion instead of judgment to physically calming your nervous system, taking small risks to build self-trust, and aligning your actions with your values. I also share some of my own story and walk you through the signs that you might need to work on this more. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from someone who's scared to bring up an important topic, fearing it might rock the boat.

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243. These Small Moments Make or Break Your Relationship w/ Zach Brittle, LMHC

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 08:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Zach Brittle, host of Marriage Talk Radio and a Gottman-trained marriage therapist who's been working with couples for over 20 years. We discuss everything from what singles should know about long-term relationships before they start dating to why "negative sentiment override" can slowly poison even good relationships. Zach breaks down the three factors that drive positive sentiment and explains why repair is more important than resolve in conflict. He also shares practical strategies for navigating hard conversations. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about a couple who can't seem to stop fighting when they're apart.

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242. Leaning Into a Slow Burn When You're Used to Intensity & Sparks

Tue, 03 Mar 2026 08:00:00 -0000

I'm covering everything you need to know about the slow burn, from why it feels so uncomfortable when you've only known whirlwind romances, to how to know if you're actually ready for it, to the signs you need to pump the brakes early on. I also get into where physical intimacy fits in, how to tell the difference between a slow burn and just not vibing with someone, and tips for enjoying the process. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma about whether to keep the door fully closed on a connection that had potential.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Episode 111 — How to stay grounded in dating
Episode 146 — Slow burn vs. dead end
Episode 172 — When you want a slow burn but they're rushing it
Episode 160 — We're attracted to the wrong people
Study on friendship formation
Instagram post on chemistry-boosting date ideas

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Check out Jordan's Substack!

A Therapist Breaks Down the Chaos on Love Is Blind S10 ft. Jordan Dann

Sun, 01 Mar 2026 08:00:00 -0000

In this bonus episode, I'm sitting down with Jordan Dann, a couples therapist and psychoanalyst who, like me, loves to watch Love Is Blind on Netflix. This episode contains spoilers! We're talking about the moments from Season 10 (Ohio) living rent-free in our minds, including Alex & Ashley's dynamic that stays on the surface/never gets deep, Brittney and Devonta's pursuer/withdrawer dynamic, and how Bri just isn't ready for a guy like Connor. We touch on the insanity of Chris's behavior throughout the show at the end as well. Who will say yes at the altar this Wednesday? We share our predictions at the end.

And here's my first ep with Jordan - all about the honeymoon stage in relationships.

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241. Dating With Different Cultural Backgrounds w/ Marina Iakovleva

Fri, 27 Feb 2026 08:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Marina Iakovleva, creator of Dating Beyond Borders, who's spent 12 years exploring how people date around the world. We're discussing everything from why Scandinavians have sex before they even go for coffee to why Eastern Europeans and Dutch couples clash over gift-giving, to how "the talk" looks completely different depending on where you're from. Marina shares which cultures tend to be most compatible (and which ones really struggle together), the truth about paying for dates globally, and the unique challenges of dating as a digital nomad, like dodging passport bros in Mexico. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about navigating different cultural expectations.

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My take on age gap dating

240. Stop Confusing Connection for Compatibility (Dating Dilemmas)

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 08:00:00 -0000

What happens when you have an amazing connection, but the relationship itself is kind of a bust? In this episode, I'm answering four dating dilemmas that all highlight the common dating mistake of confusing connection with compatibility. The truth is, connection is important, but it can't get you anywhere with someone you're incompatible with! Featured dilemmas:

1. A woman who's not sure if she should wait for a great guy she met in person

2. Someone three months into a relationship, wondering if she's asking for too much or just asking the wrong person.

3. Someone who can't tell if the guy she's been dating for three months is a slow burn or not.

4. A woman who's been with someone for over a year and still hasn't heard "I love you" back.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

January's Dating Dilemma episode

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239. Singles Events, Setups & Lessons From Vetting 800 Men w/ Alli Goldberg

Fri, 20 Feb 2026 08:00:00 -0000

Alli Goldberg (back for round 2!) is the creator and host of Love Isn't Blind, the live dating show where the men can't speak, and she's now hosted nearly 100 shows across 10 cities. That means she's interviewed over 800 men, and she has thoughts. Alli shares what patterns she's noticed from all those interviews, including the surprisingly beautiful things men say about what they're looking for. We talk about why couples need to be better wingpeople, why women need to get over being scared of men if they want to date them, and what positive masculinity actually looks like. Alli also shares her own setup success story. Plus, we answer a dating dilemma from a guy who keeps having great first dates but can't seem to get to date two.

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238. When to Say "I Love You" (And Should You Say It First?)

Tue, 17 Feb 2026 08:00:00 -0000

I'm sharing my experiences with saying "I love you" for the first time, from awkwardly blurting it out in a noisy subway station to intentionally saying it over the phone. I'm covering the signs you're actually in love, when to say those three little words, and my advice for being the person who says it first, which, yes, I've done in almost every relationship. I also get into what to do if they're not ready to say it back, how often to say it after the first time, and why both saying and showing love matter equally. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma: a woman who put real effort into romancing her partner, only to be told at the 3-month mark that she didn't do enough.

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237. Surviving the Worst Parts of Dating w/ Rory Uphold

Fri, 13 Feb 2026 08:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Rory Uphold, a writer and the author of The Final Girl's Guide to the Horrors of Dating, a book that uses the horror movie framework to help people navigate modern dating. We're discussing everything from how rom-coms groomed us for romantic disappointment and taught women to be chosen instead of the chooser, to the devastating breakup that turned Rory into a final girl, to what she did to rebuild her life after (spoiler: it wasn't therapy). Rory also shares three powerful pieces of advice from her book, including the truth about the walls we build when we're younger, and the walls we have to tear down when we're older. At the end, we tackle two listener questions about grief in relationships and whether to give a former situationship another chance.

Get Rory's book: A Final Girl's Guide To The Horrors Of Dating

Connect with Rory on IG

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236. When to Move In (And What No One Tells You About Living Together)

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 08:00:00 -0000

You know you want to be with your partner for a long time, but how do you know when to move in? Today I'm sharing everything I've learned about moving in with a partner, from knowing when you're ready to navigating daily life together. I cover the emotional and practical signs you're ready to cohabitate, the red flags that you're not, and why you need to talk about your relationship timeline first. Then I answer your Instagram questions about handling habit differences, avoiding getting on each other's nerves, managing income disparities, keeping romance alive, and so much more. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma: should you start dating again while unemployed?

Episodes & Resources Mentioned:

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235. Dating Red Flags That Predict Domestic Inequity w/ Laura Danger

Fri, 06 Feb 2026 08:00:00 -0000

Author and educator Laura Danger (@thatdarnchat) brought weaponized incompetence and the nag paradox into the mainstream, and today she's here to talk about how these dynamics can show up way before you're married with kids. We get into the early warning signs of domestic inequity you can spot while dating, the green flags that actually matter for a long-term partnership, and what a truly collaborative relationship looks like day to day. Plus, Laura shares her unexpectedly romantic love story, we unpack why "happy wife, happy life" makes me cringe, and we tackle a dating dilemma from someone who started dating their roommate.

Check out Laura's amazing book, No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand More

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Instagram post I'm referring to!

234. "His Best Friend Is A Woman. Is That A Red Flag?"

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 08:00:00 -0000

Feeling uneasy about your partner's friendship with someone of the opposite sex? You're not alone. In this episode, I'm breaking down what that jealousy actually means, when it's a you problem vs. a real red flag, and how to navigate it without sabotaging your relationship. I'm sharing my own experience working through this with Johnny and the one boundary we set that made all the difference. Plus: why your partner having women friends is actually a green flag, how to bring this up without it turning into a fight, and what to do if the conversation goes badly. Then, in this week's dating dilemma, a guy who had a "Hallmark movie moment" with someone who's already in a relationship wants to know if he should pursue it.

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233. Why You Obsess Over Someone You Barely Know w/ Sabrina Bendory

Fri, 30 Jan 2026 08:00:00 -0000

Sabrina Bendory, author of Detached: How to Let Go, Heal and Become Irresistible, joins me to break down what detached dating actually means (hint: it's not about not caring). We get into why you keep ending up in situationships, the difference between limerence and real connection, and two tools to manage dating anxiety that you probably never heard of before. Plus, we tackle a dating dilemma about financial generosity in relationships.

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232. Are You Staying for the Right Reasons? (Dating Dilemmas)

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 08:00:00 -0000

I'm answering four real dating dilemmas from listeners stuck on whether to stay or leave a relationship. I get into how to end a medium-term relationship, what to do when you've been on the fence for months, the difference between accepting imperfections and settling, and what to actually look for when you give someone a deadline to change. If you're in a relationship that feels "fine" but you're questioning whether fine is enough, this one's for you.

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231. What We Get Wrong About Avoidant Attachment w/ Travis Ambrose

Fri, 23 Jan 2026 08:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Travis Ambrose, an attachment-focused coach who specializes in helping people on the avoidant end of the spectrum heal and build healthier relationships. We're discussing everything from signs of avoidant attachment to the common mistakes anxious daters make that push avoidants away. Travis also shares his framework for knowing when a relationship is workable versus when it's time to walk away. We also tackle a dating dilemma: navigating a two-month relationship with someone who shows classic avoidant patterns.

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230. Your First Date Pep Talk + Flirting Tips

Tue, 20 Jan 2026 08:00:00 -0000

Let's get ready for a first date! I'm sharing a pep talk for your next first date, plus my best quick tips for flirting, so you can actually create a romantic connection instead of just a friendly one. I'm covering how to lower the stakes and stop putting so much pressure on yourself, what your real mission is on a first date, and what to do if you're nervous. Then I get into the basics of flirting and more advanced moves. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a woman who matched with a guy on Bumble, lost him when she reset her profile, and now he's popped up on Instagram. Should she slide into his DMs?

Get 90+ dating questions (and all my free guides): datingintentionallypod.com/gift

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229. The 4 Things You Should Know by the 4th Date w/ Amy Nobile Messing

Fri, 16 Jan 2026 08:00:00 -0000

I'm chatting with Amy Nobile Messing, a holistic dating coach who "turbo dated" her way through NYC after leaving a 20-year marriage in her 40. She's now remarried and helping clients of all ages find love with intention. We're discussing everything from how to bring up your divorce on a first date to her four pillars for filtering someone out by date four. Amy also shares the trick question she uses to figure out if someone's actually ready for a relationship. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about navigating post-divorce dating when external markers like marriage and kids are off the table.

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Episode mentioned: are you ready for a relationship?

228. Signs They’re Ready for a Relationship

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 08:00:00 -0000

I’m breaking down the real signs someone is actually ready for a relationship beyond what they say on a dating app or how excited they seem early on. I’m also covering what doesn’t mean much on its own (like good morning texts or initial excitement), how long it should realistically take to see these signs, and what you’ll never see from someone who’s truly ready. Along the way, I share personal examples from my relationship with Johnny. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a woman whose boyfriend aired his doubts about her to his friends, which is causing them major issues.

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227. Dating When You've Never Been In A Relationship w/ Allora Dannon

Fri, 09 Jan 2026 08:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I'm chatting with Allora Dannon, who went on her first date ever at 32. She's now engaged, and we're discussing everything from how to bring up your lack of experience on a date to navigating physical intimacy when it's all brand new to grieving the timeline you thought you'd have while still moving forward. Whether you're a late bloomer yourself or you want to better support someone who is, this conversation is packed with encouragement and practical advice for anyone who's ever felt "behind." At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about whether inconsistent texting is a real dealbreaker or a sign of self-sabotage.

Check out Allora on TikTok and grab her book!

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226. 8 "Red Flags" That Are Normal in Long-Term Relationships

Tue, 06 Jan 2026 08:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I'm breaking down 8 things that seem like red flags but are actually just part of being with someone for a while, like feeling bored sometimes, not being "in love" every single day, having doubts, disagreeing about money, and yes, occasionally thinking about an ex. I'm sharing where the line is between normal and actually problematic, plus what Johnny and I have experienced along the way. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma about whether needing to tell your partner how to show up for you is a sign to move on.

Mentioned in this episode:

Relationship Needs Masterclass - catch session two on 1/12!
Study on how often couples fight about money

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225. How To Date NATO (Not Attached To Outcome) w/ Erika Ettin

Fri, 02 Jan 2026 08:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I’m joined by dating coach Erika Ettin again to break down the mindset shifts that make dating feel calmer, clearer, and more intentional. We talk about dating NATO (not attached to outcome), avoiding pen-pal dynamics, reading texting patterns, and how to stay open without over-investing too early. At the end, we dive into a text support question from a listener about a promising first date that turns into confusing texting and how to handle it.

Where to Find Erika:

Podcast: https://sowemetonline.com/

Website: https://www.alittlenudge.com/

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Relationship Needs Master Class

224. Top 10 Tips For Dating Intentionally In 2026

Tue, 30 Dec 2025 08:00:00 -0000

Starting fresh in dating can feel exciting and overwhelming at the same time. In this episode, I'm sharing my top 10 tips for dating intentionally in 2026, from building confidence and resilience to utilizing phone calls to combat flakiness to finding an in-person approach that actually fits your life and getting crystal clear on your core needs. This episode is packed with the direction and positivity you might be craving as we head into a new year. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma about people who are on the apps but say they're not ready to date.

Sign up for my Relationship Needs Masterclass on 1/5 and 1/12!

datingintentionallypod.com/needs

Mentioned in this episode:

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223. How to Stop Feeling Desperate When Dating (throwback)

Fri, 26 Dec 2025 08:00:00 -0000

Being single is treated like something to escape, like something's wrong with you. But what if we stopped thinking of it that way? In this episode, I'm sharing the exact exercise I did after leaving my 6-year relationship that completely changed how I approached dating. I'm sharing the reflection questions I used to build my own security while actively dating, so you can do the same. This episode will help you re-frame urgency and desperation around just finding your person already.

REFLECTION QUESTIONS:

If I don't like it here, where should I live?
How do I want to spend my time? What do I want my lifestyle to be?
How will I make my life meaningful without a romantic relationship?
What kind of friend and daughter do I want to be?
How will I show up for the people in my life?
How do I want to spend my money and what are my financial goals as a single person?
If I don't meet anyone in the next few years, will I choose to have kids on my own?
If I don't get married, what does the best version of my life look like?

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UPCOMING EVENT

Relationship Needs Masterclass: datingintentionallypod.com/needs

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222. How To Let Them Show You Who They Are (Dating Dilemmas)

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 08:00:00 -0000

Are you overthinking your dating situations, or are people showing you exactly who they are?

In this episode, I break down four real dating dilemmas, which will help you trust your gut, set firmer boundaries, and date with more confidence and ease. Dilemma 1) dating someone who isn’t truly available, Dilemma 2) dealing with inconsistency and repeated cancellations, Dilemma 3) knowing when to state a boundary versus walk away, and Dilemma 4) figuring out whether a “slow burn” is real or a stalled connection. When you learn to observe instead of explain away behavior, dating becomes less confusing and a lot more empowering.

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Ex's and No's: The Breakup Advice You Don't Want to Hear

221. How To Move On Even If You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Ex w/ Cole Zesiger

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 08:00:00 -0000

Breakups aren’t fun, but they don’t have to break you.

In this episode, I’m joined by breakup coach Cole Zesiger to talk about why we ruminate, how to stop comparing new dates to an ex, and when you are actually ready to date again. We also get into his divorce story, real healing strategies, and at the end we get into a dating dilemma about staying in touch with exes.

Connect with Cole Zesiger:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachcolezesiger

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbR-Co-YONE96kmIsxQPstA

Get Cole's Book!

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21.Are you dating for validation? (And how to stop)

220. Why Connections Fizzle By Date 3 + How To Avoid It

Tue, 16 Dec 2025 08:00:00 -0000

Getting to date three is hard and getting past it can feel impossible. In this episode, I’m breaking down why connections so often fizzle by date three, how to tell if you’re subconsciously pushing people away, and what actually helps build momentum early on. I share practical tips around texting, planning dates, pacing, and confidence. At the end, I get into a dating dilemma about a concert invite months in advance.

Previous Episode Mentioned

Join my Relationship Needs Masterclass on 1/5 and 1/12

datingintentionallypod.com/needs

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219. The Truth About Long Distance Early Dating w/ Drea Renee

Thu, 11 Dec 2025 17:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I chat with Drea Renee, host of Hey Babe Can We Talk, to break down long-distance dating, vetting men from the apps, and the subtle red flags we often talk ourselves out of. Drea shares how she unexpectedly met someone abroad who challenges her patterns in the best ways. We dive into red flags, long-distance dynamics, and the inner work that real connection demands. At the end, we get into a dating dilemma about what to do when someone pulls back after a fast start.

Where to Find Drea:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/heybabecanwetalk

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HeyBabeCanWeTalk

Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5IHI4Nis2q39tAsMC6Zr3O

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21. Are you dating for validation? (And how to stop)

218. Being The Chooser VS Wanting To Be Chosen (How To Find Balance)

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 17:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I break down why we crave being chosen in dating and how shifting into being the chooser transforms your confidence, clarity, and relationships. I unpack the media messages, attachment patterns, and personal experiences that keep us chasing validation, and I walk you through how to date from a place of self-worth, clarity, and mutual choosing. At the end, I dive into a dating dilemma about catching feelings for someone who isn’t ready to date.

Episode Mentioned:

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217. Signs They're Emotionally Mature (And How To Tell If You Are) w/ Julia Kristina

Fri, 05 Dec 2025 08:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I sit down with therapist and emotional maturity expert Julia Kristina to break down what emotional maturity actually looks like in dating. We cover the signs of an emotionally mature partner, how to build a deeper connection, and how to handle conflict with confidence instead of fear. At the end, I get into a dating dilemma about how to manage your emotions when someone pulls back slightly, and you’re not sure if it’s a red flag or your fear talking.

Where to Find Julia:

Instagram -> instagram.com/juliacounsellor

Website -> juliakristina.com

YouTube -> youtube.com/user/juliakristinamah

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216. "Our Relationship Is Great. Why Do I Still Feel Anxious?"

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 08:00:00 -0000

Ever feel anxious even when a new connection is going well? In this episode, I break down why that happens, how to tell the difference between intuition & overthinking, & what to do when your attachment system gets loud. I share my own story, practical tools to calm anxiety, and how to navigate dating someone who feels this way too. At the end, I answer a dating dilemma from a woman who's unsure about her partner of 6 months.

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215. How to Date with Intention and Find Your Person w/ Julie Krapfchick & Yue Xu (throwback)

Fri, 28 Nov 2025 08:00:00 -0000

This throwback episode (originally aired June 14, 2024) features Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick, hosts of Dateable Podcast, who've been sharing dating advice for 8 years. We cover practical tips for better date conversations, how to screen matches effectively, and the mindset shifts that help you stay curious and less attached to outcomes. We also discuss what successful daters have in common: wanting a relationship, not needing one, and knowing their dating "north star." We end with a rapid-fire "Is it a red flag if?" round.

Follow Dateable on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dateablepodcast/

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214. Six Signs You’re On The Right Track With Dating

Tue, 25 Nov 2025 08:00:00 -0000

Ever wonder if you’re actually making progress in dating, even when it doesn’t feel like it?

I’m diving into how to tell you’re truly on the right track, even if you’re still single after A LOT of dating. I share six clear signs of growth, what not to measure, and how to stay grounded through rejection, dry spells, and frustration. At the end, I answer a dating dilemma about the honeymoon phase.

Episodes Mentioned:

158 — What to do when you feel like you're doing everything right but nothing is working.

211 — How to Flirt (Even If You’re “Bad” at it) w/ Francesca Hogi

103 — I’m Doing Everything Right But I’m Still Single

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https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/broads-the-bold-badass-fitness-podcast-for-women/id1710024779

213. Keeping The Spark Alive In A Long Term Relationship w/ Tara LaFerrara

Fri, 21 Nov 2025 08:00:00 -0000

If you’re craving real talk and practical tools for lasting love, this episode is for you.

I sit down with my trainer, Tara LaFerrera, for a deep, honest conversation about keeping the spark alive in long-term relationships.

We get real about connection after 11 years together, how to communicate with more ease, navigate tough seasons, stay emotionally aligned, build supportive routines, and create fresh excitement. We also share creative date ideas, mindset shifts, and personal lessons on showing up for your partner in meaningful ways.

Tara's Broads App: https://www.broads.app

Instagram: @taralaferrara

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@taralaferrara

Podcast — Broads: The Bold & Badass Fitness Podcast for Women:

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AG1: Go to drinkag1.com/dating and get a FREE Welcome Kit with an AG1 Flavor Sampler and a bottle of Vitamin D3 plus K2 when you first subscribe!

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212. 4 Sneaky Red Flags You Wish You Caught Sooner (Dating Dilemmas)

Tue, 18 Nov 2025 08:00:00 -0000

Spot the dating red flags you’re missing. In this episode, I break down 4 real dating dilemmas: mismatched intentions, situationships, messy family dynamics, and exes who want the perks without the commitment.

If you’ve ever ignored your gut or hoped someone would change, this episode will help you see the patterns clearly and choose healthier connections. We’ll talk about early warning signs, emotional availability, boundaries, and why some red flags feel so easy to overlook.

Thanks to our partners:

AG1: Go to drinkag1.com/dating and get a FREE Welcome Kit with an AG1 Flavor Sampler and a bottle of Vitamin D3 plus K2 when you first subscribe!

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211. How To Flirt (Even If You’re “Bad” At It) w/ Francesca Hogi

Fri, 14 Nov 2025 08:00:00 -0000

Why does dating feel so hard and can it be fun again?

Dating feels messy right now, but I think it’s because it’s evolving. This week, I talk with love coach and author Francesca Hogi about the skills we need to thrive in modern dating, unlearning outdated norms, and rediscovering the fun side of flirting.

Watch Francesca's TED Talk: True Love and the Myth of Happily Ever After

Find Francesca on Instagram @dearfranny

Learn More at: https://www.francescahogi.com/

Thanks to our partners:

AG1: Go to drinkag1.com/dating and get a FREE Welcome Kit with an AG1 Flavor Sampler and a bottle of Vitamin D3 plus K2 when you first subscribe!

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210. Five Communication Skills I Wish I'd Practiced Before Meeting The One

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 08:00:00 -0000

Everyone says communication is key, but what does good communication actually look like?

I’m sharing the five most impactful communication tools I’ve learned so you can build trust, repair faster, and stay on the same team when things get hard.

Thanks to our partners:

AG1: Go to drinkag1.com/dating and get a FREE Welcome Kit with an AG1 Flavor Sampler and a bottle of Vitamin D3 plus K2 when you first subscribe!

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209. Why Self-Trust Is the Key to Feeling Safe in Love w/ Sarah Yudkin

Fri, 07 Nov 2025 05:00:00 -0000

Are you overthinking your relationship? Do you ever wonder if it’s love or just anxiety?

In this episode, I share my journey from relationship anxiety to building true inner safety and self-trust. I'm joined by Sarah Yudkin, creator of You Love and You Learn, to explore releasing fear, healing old patterns, and meeting your own emotional needs while staying open to love. If you’ve ever questioned your relationship or struggled to feel secure, this conversation will help you find peace, confidence, and a deeper connection.

Where to find Sarah on Instagram: @youloveandyoulearn and at Website: www.youloveandyoulearn.com

Thanks to our partners:

AG1: Go to drinkag1.com/dating and get a FREE Welcome Kit with an AG1 Flavor Sampler and a bottle of Vitamin D3 plus K2 when you first subscribe!

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208. Top 5 Tips For Dating When Your Biological Clock Is Ticking

Tue, 04 Nov 2025 08:00:00 -0000

If your biological clock is ticking and dating feels stressful, this episode’s for you! I share real-life dating advice and relationship tips for managing timelines, trusting the process, and a reminder that love doesn’t need to follow a timeline.

Episodes mentioned:

Episode 94 – An episode about egg freezing, featuring a doctor who explains the process and what it involves.

Episode 99 – Focused on creating a flexible vision for your future and mapping out a fulfilling life, even without a partner.

Episode 100 – A story about a woman who became a single mother by choice before getting married.

Thanks to our partners:

AG1: Go to drinkag1.com/dating and get a FREE Welcome Kit with an AG1 Flavor Sampler and a bottle of Vitamin D3 plus K2 when you first subscribe!

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207. Male POV: Dating IRL In Your 30's w/ Alex Koren

Fri, 31 Oct 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I sit down with my younger brother and podcast regular, Alex Koren, to discuss dating in real life versus using apps. We share our experiences, offer tips for meeting people confidently, and discuss his fun project, Random Acts of Dating, which helps spark genuine connections offline.

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#123 w/ Vanessa & Xander Marin

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

206. When To Have Sex With Someone New (And What If You Already Did?)

Tue, 28 Oct 2025 07:00:00 -0000

When should you have sex with someone new, and is there such a thing as "too soon?"

In this episode, I’m breaking down the most common questions about timing, boundaries, and emotional pacing when it comes to sex in early dating. You’ll learn how to know when you’re ready, how to avoid confusing chemistry for connection, and what to do if you want to slow things down after moving too fast.

Are you ready for sex? (reflection questions)

Do I know my intentions?

Do I know their intentions?

Do I trust this person emotionally and physically?

Can we talk comfortably about boundaries and protection?

Am I okay with any possible outcome?

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It Begins With You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life

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205. Truths About Love We Don't Like Hearing (But Need To) w/ Jillian Turecki

Fri, 24 Oct 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I sit down with author and relationship coach Jillian Turecki to talk about the hard truths of love, why it really begins with you, and what changes when you stop outsourcing certainty and start meeting your own needs. We get into the “six human needs” as a simple audit for what’s missing, the seductive pull of victim-mode, and how building a secure base in yourself makes dating easier. We unpack the mental stories that tank early connections, set a clean bar for communication, and draw a firm line between charm and character while defining a true slow burn.

Check out Jillian's podcast, Jillian On Love

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My Substack on how I made a decision about kids after being on the fence for years

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204. How To Make Dating Apps Work (Even If You Hate Them)

Tue, 21 Oct 2025 07:00:00 -0000

You don’t have to love dating apps to make them work, but you do need a grounded strategy so you don't lose your mind!
In this episode, I’m breaking down how to use dating apps without swearing off them for good every few months (only to come back again). You’ll learn the mindset shifts that make apps less frustrating, how to write a profile that actually gets attention, and what to do when the flakiness or ghosting gets to you. I also answer your top listener questions about filters, messaging, and finding emotionally available people online. Do the apps kinda suck? Yes. But do they allow you to connect with more single people? Also yes.

The Dear Sugar article that helped me with my kids/no kids decision

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203. You Don’t Have to Be Healed to Find the Right Person w/ Dr. Molly Burrets

Fri, 17 Oct 2025 07:00:00 -0000

She called off her wedding, then married the same man.

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Molly Burrets, a clinical psychologist and couples therapist, about what it really looks like to date while healing. We unpack how to know when you’re ready after a breakup, why you don’t have to be fully “healed” to find love, and how new relationships can actually support your growth.

From there, we dive into anxious attachment, how “butterflies” can be anxiety in disguise, and why healthy relationships sometimes feel “boring” compared to the chaos we’re used to. Plus, we talk about comparison to exes, scanning for red flags, and what it means to show up with more trust and self-awareness in love.

Look out for Dr. Molly's podcast, Kissing Frogs coming soon!

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202. When Communication Styles Clash: What’s Workable vs. What’s a Dealbreaker

Tue, 14 Oct 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Are they bad at communicating, or just not that into you? Let’s unpack texting habits, mixed signals, and what’s really going on.

If you’ve ever found yourself analyzing every message or wondering if a mismatch in communication means they’re not interested, this one’s for you. I’m breaking down the gray area between different communication styles, real incompatibility, and a genuine lack of effort. Plus, a Dating Dilemma from a listener who keeps getting to the third date, but never past it.

Episodes mentioned: 170 - what to do when you feel "the shift."

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Comparing Notes Pt. 3: The Truth About Relationships at 1 Year w/ Ali Jackson

Fri, 10 Oct 2025 07:00:00 -0000

The one-year mark in a relationship is a major milestone! It comes with new challenges, changes, and conversations.

In this final episode of Comparing Notes, Ali Jackson from Finding Mr. Height and I reflect on what the first year of a healthy relationship really looks like. We discuss moving in together, navigating family and career transitions, maintaining intimacy, and having the “what’s next” conversation. Plus, we answer listener questions about when to talk about marriage, how to handle a routine sex life, and what to do if you’re still unsure about the future.

Comparing Notes Pt 1 - all about the first 3 months of a relationship!

Comparing Notes Pt. 2 - covering the ins and outs of being in a relationship for 6 months

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201. Why It’s So Hard to Walk Away (And How to Finally Do It)

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, you'll learn how to know when to walk away in early dating vs. long-term relationships and why it's so difficult. You’ll get a simple mindset shift that makes the breakup decision stick, plus exact scripts to end it by text, phone, or in person without reopening negotiations. I also map your next steps to take care of yourself and avoid making mistakes after it's over. We close with a listener dilemma about four great dates that ended with “something’s missing," and what to do when that happens.

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200. Top 10 Dating Insights From 3 Years of Dating Intentionally 🎉

Fri, 03 Oct 2025 07:00:00 -0000

I’m celebrating three years of the podcast and 3 million downloads by sharing the 10 biggest lessons I’ve learned from 200 episodes!!! THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE 💛

When I started this show in my kitchen in Seattle, I never imagined I’d be talking to hundreds of thousands of daters all over the world. Today, I’m reflecting on the advice that comes up again and again, from “you can date however you want” to “stop chasing the spark," and sharing the mindset shifts that will help you enjoy dating, stay grounded, and actually find the relationship you want. Whether you’re just getting started or feeling stuck in your love life, this episode will help you recenter on what matters and remind you that you’re not behind, you’re not broken, and dating really can be fun.

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199. How to Date Like a Love Coach w/ Shaun Galanos

Tue, 30 Sep 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I sit down with Shaun Galanos (@thelovedrive) to discuss what it truly means to bring playfulness and honesty to dating. We dive into why dating actually gets better as you get older and how to embrace the messy parts of love without losing your sense of humor. Shaun shares the advice he gives his clients (that he still needs to hear himself), and we tackle some of your trickiest sex-related questions, including the ones that stump me. Plus, we wrap up with Shaun’s rapid-fire first date hot takes that will change how you think about getting to know someone new.

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198. When They Start Pulling Away Suddenly + 3 More Dating Dilemmas

Fri, 26 Sep 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I’m answering four of your real-life dating dilemmas! We’re talking about what to do when someone says they need to “find themselves” before committing, how to build emotional connection early on without scaring them off, and whether a partner’s pre-trip freak-out is a sign to walk away or just a moment of vulnerability. Plus, we tackle the dreaded slow fade (and what to do).

Stick around until the end for a personal update on my first year of marriage!! I'm sharing what surprised me, what challenged us, and what I wish I had known before saying “I do.”

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197. Tips For Dating Outside Of Your Type Without Settling (throwback)

Tue, 23 Sep 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I’m sharing all my tips for dating outside your type! You’re going to hear what it means to have a “type”, success stories from other listeners about how they dated outside their type, why dating outside your type can work, and what I personally looked for on dating apps when using this approach. (It led me to meeting my husband, just saying!) You’ll also hear why this approach is not the same as settling. At the end, I answer a fresh dating dilemma from a woman who's not sure if a friendship could become something romantic.

This episode originally aired in April 2024.

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196. The Psychology of Mixed Signals and How to Stop Obsessing

Fri, 19 Sep 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I talk about one of the most frustrating parts of modern dating: mixed signals. I break down why people send mixed signals, why they can feel so addicting (even when we know better), and how to spot them early so you don’t waste your time. You’ll hear real listener examples of hot-and-cold behavior, learn the difference between mixed signals and a slow burn, and get practical strategies for deciding when to walk away. We’ll also cover what clear, green-flag signals actually look like so you can focus on what you do want. This week’s dating dilemma is from a listener who feels like a late bloomer and worries that their lack of dating experience is holding them back from finding a meaningful relationship.

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195. Second Date or Move On? How to Decide Who To Keep Seeing

Tue, 16 Sep 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Have you ever walked away from a date wondering if you should give it another shot or just move on? In this episode, I’m breaking down a simple three-part framework to help you decide whether to keep seeing someone in those crucial first few dates. I’ll share the exact questions I asked myself back when I was dating, including the ones that helped me recognize when it was worth going on a second (or even tenth) date, and when it was time to let go. I’ll also tell you why enjoying yourself matters more than “feeling the spark,” how to spot dealbreakers early, and why it’s okay to live in the uncertainty of not knowing yet. At the end, I answer a dating dilemma about how to bring up the subject of divorce and an ex when you’re a few months into something new.

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Comparing Notes Pt. 2: Milestones at 6 Months in a New Relationship w/ Ali Jackson

Fri, 12 Sep 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this second installment of Comparing Notes, I sit down with Ali Jackson, host of Finding Mr. Height, to talk about what often comes up around the six-month mark in a relationship. We get into the real stuff: when to start having check-ins, how to tell if someone could be marriage material, and what it means to settle into comfort and routine without losing the spark. We also explore deal breakers, financial conversations, traveling together, navigating family dynamics, and handling your first conflicts. You'll also hear both of our experiences with this milestone!

Listen to Comparing Notes Pt 1 - all about the first 3 months of a relationship!

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194. Ethical Non-Monogamy Explained w/ Claire Perelman

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Ok, but what does ENM really mean? In this episode, I talk with Claire Perelman, a sex therapist, about what ethical non-monogamy (ENM) actually is (and isn't). We talk about different types of ENM (polyamory, swinging, open relationships, solo poly etc), “ethical” matters (consent, clarity, agreements), and how jealousy, anxiety, and attachment styles show up in real life. Claire shares her path to ENM, why opening a relationship won’t save a broken one, and the difference between adding sexual variety vs. building additional romantic bonds. Claire shares tips on what to ask on first dates to vet for real ENM (vs. cheaters), sexual health norms, pacing to avoid emotional whiplash, and how to decide if this lifestyle fits your values and nervous system.

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193. Are You Ready for a Relationship Or Just Ready to Date?

Fri, 05 Sep 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I delve into what it truly means to be “ready” to date vs ready for a relationship. There’s a big difference between, and most people confuse the two. I’ll share how to tell if you're ready to date or for a relationship (or both), what true dating readiness looks like, and why you don’t need to have every part of your life perfectly together before putting yourself out there. We’ll also talk about dating while still healing from a breakup, the myth of being “fully healed,” and the mindset shifts that make it easier to date with clarity and confidence. Plus, I’m sharing a practical checklist to help you gauge your own readiness and I answer listener questions about emotional availability and long-term intentions.

Episodes mentioned:

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF

Do I have space in my life for someone?
Can I compromise and make decisions w/ someone else in mind?
Can I say what I want out loud?
When I picture a relationship, do I feel excited or dread?
Do I want one because it fits my life right now, or just because I feel lonely or behind?
Am I prepared to support someone else's goals, not just focus on myself?
Do I know what I need in a partner?

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⁠⁠Free texting templates & dating FAQ guide⁠⁠

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192. Top 11 Red Flag Phrases In Early Dating (And What They Mean)

Tue, 02 Sep 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I break down the top 11 red-flag phrases to never ignore in early dating, what they really mean, how to spot them even when attraction is loud, and exactly what to say or do in the moment. If you've ever heard the classics like “I’m bad at texting,” “I don’t like labels,” “you’re too good for me,” and “I’m not looking for anything serious right now,” this one is for you. At the end, I answer a Dating Dilemma about a long-distance “is it me or is it them?” situation and close with YOUR dating wins in a new segment.

Episode mentioned: #175 - How To Write A Manifest w/ Matchmaker Maria

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191. How to Handle a Work Crush Without Risking Your Job

Fri, 29 Aug 2025 07:00:00 -0000

I’m breaking down how to handle workplace crushes without risking your job or your peace of mind! I cover what the research says about how common office romances really are, why you should never date a boss or direct report, and the steps to take if you do want to pursue a crush at work, from grabbing a casual lunch to keeping it professional at the office. I also share my own story about dating at a summer job and answer a listener's dilemma about whether to shoot her shot with a coworker she clicked with at a conference.

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190. Rethinking Gender Norms and Chivalry in Modern Dating w/ Kelly Coyne

Tue, 26 Aug 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I talk with writer and academic Kelly Coyne about intentional living, relationships, and what happens when traditional scripts around dating and marriage fall short. We explore women’s narratives, prenups, communication, gender norms, and the “quiet betrayals” that can erode long-term partnerships. From rethinking chivalry to building a circle of support, this conversation offers a fresh lens on creating sustainable, fulfilling relationships.

Find Kelly on IG

Kelly's writing

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189. How to Get Closer Without Doing ALL the Emotional Labor (10 Tips)

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I’m breaking down 10 practical, low-pressure ways to build emotional closeness that feel fun, natural, and mutual so you’re not stuck carrying all the weight of “going deep.” I’ll show you how to connect through shared experiences, create emotional safety, and build trust without forcing heavy conversations, plus why emotional intimacy is more than just talking about your feelings. You’ll also hear a listener Q&A on oversharing, one-sided connection, and giving things time to develop, a Dating Dilemma on whether “too slow” is a red flag, and a Text Support breakdown of when not to offer a second date.

LINKS MENTIONED:

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel

Listen to episode 174 about new relationships/integration

Try the 36 love questions

Check out [The And] question cards - use code TALIA

Agape question app

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Comparing Notes Pt 1: The First 3 Months of a New Relationship w/ Ali Jackson

Fri, 15 Aug 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Welcome to part 1 of Comparing Notes, a new mini series I'm doing with my friend, Ali Jackson of Finding Mr. Height! This entire series will cover the different stages of a new relationship: what to expect, what to focus on and how to get through it with grace. In this episode, we're deep diving into the first 3 months of a new relationship, talking about our own experiences and providing tons of tips and actionable advice. Even if you're currently single, knowing what's to come can help you focus on the right things early on. You'll learn what we wish we knew when we were in new relationships and so much more.

RELATED EPISODES:

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188. 7 Tips For Dating Multiple People In The Early Stages (throwback)

Tue, 12 Aug 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Maybe you’ve heard the advice to “date multiple people,” but you’re not sure how it actually works, if it’s even possible for you, or why you’d want to try it. In this episode, I’m sharing seven tips on how to approach dating multiple people before getting into a relationship. Multidating isn’t for everyone, but it works well if you're prioritizing dating, and it might be worth trying if you get attached quickly, want to speed up the vetting process, or are curious about a different way to date.

Plus, I’m answering a dating dilemma about what to do when you can’t shake the feeling that something is missing in a connection, even when everything else looks good on paper.

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187. Sad Doesn’t Mean Broken - Real Talk on Mental Health & Dating w/ Dr. Caroline Leaf

Tue, 05 Aug 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, Dr. Caroline Leaf and I are bringing you the conversation about what it really means to “not be okay”, especially when it comes to dating and our mental health. We cover why sadness or anxiety doesn’t mean we’re broken, and how the pressure to be constantly happy or healed can actually make things worse. Caroline shared practical tools from her new book Help in a Hurry, including how to create a 63-second pause to calm spiraling thoughts and respond with more clarity and confidence. We also talked about how past dating experiences shape our beliefs and how to gently rewire those patterns over time. This conversation was such a powerful reminder that we all have the inner wisdom to navigate hard moments, and that growth starts by giving ourselves compassion.

Mentioned in this episode:

Caroline's book: Help in a Hurry: Simple Tips for Finding Peace When You're Overwhelmed, Anxious, or Stressed

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186. Signs It's Time For A Dating Break & How To Do It (Without Getting FOMO)

Tue, 29 Jul 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Let's dive into how (and when) to take a real break from dating. If dating feels like a chore or if you're just emotionally tapped out, it just might be time to pull yourself out of the game to recover. In this episode, I'm walking you through how to take a break without feeling like you’re falling behind or sabotaging your chances of meeting someone. You'll learn signs it's time to reset, how to do it strategically and what to focus on while you're not dating. Additionally, I address your questions about oversharing, taking long breaks, and managing the fear of missing out. At the end, you'll hear a dating dilemma about dating someone who has to move for a job and a new segment called Dating Done Right.

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185. Breaking Free From Codependency and Building Self-Trust w/ Caroline Winkler

Tue, 22 Jul 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode of Dating Intentionally, I’m joined by Caroline Winkler, one of my favorite YouTubers with nearly 1M subscribers! Caroline is also the co-host of the Not For Everyone podcast. I reached out to Caroline after seeing her amazing video on relationship with her fiance and how she redefined the age-old advice to "date outside your type." We’re diving into the messy, powerful journey of breaking out of co-dependence and learning how to build real self-trust. Caroline opens up about how she stopped abandoning herself in relationships, started honoring her boundaries, and eventually found someone who could meet her there. We talk emotional availability, the courage it takes to change, and what it really looks like to date intentionally. At the end, we answer a dating dilemma from a woman who doesn't love how her date treats her pet. This one will inspire you!

Here's the video I'm referring to about Caroline's story about her engagement and dating outside of her type!

Connect with Caroline Winkler

Check out her podcast here

Caroline's Youtube channel

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184. Chasing vs Pursuing: When To Show Interest (And When To Move On)

Tue, 15 Jul 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I’m breaking down the difference between healthy pursuit and unhealthy chasing in dating, because yes, there’s a big difference. I share personal stories of times I chased and was chased, plus the subtle signs someone’s just not that into you (and what to do when that’s the case). You’ll learn how to check your own behavior, spot disinterest early, and avoid wasting energy trying to prove your worth. I also answer listener questions about texting, planning, and "being too available," and wrap up with a new segment, Text Support, and a dating dilemma about a fast-burn romance.

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183. What to Wear on Dates: Confidence-Boosting Style Tips w/ Cassandra Sethi

Tue, 08 Jul 2025 07:00:00 -0000

What you wear on a date matters, but not how you might think! In this episode, I’m joined by professional stylist Cassandra Sethi, founder of Next Level Wardrobe, to talk about how to dress with confidence and put together stylish outfits in under a minute. We get into how to create outfits that reflect who you are and what to do if your closet just isn’t working for you anymore. Cassandra shares practical, no-fluff advice on building a wardrobe you actually like, shopping sustainably, and dressing through body changes or life transitions. She also breaks down go-to first date outfit formulas for both women and men, plus tips for looking casual but still put together.

MORE ON CASSANDRA SETHI:

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Find Your Style Quiz!

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182. Sparks vs Chemistry: How To Build Chemistry & Stop Chasing Instant Attraction (throwback)

Tue, 01 Jul 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this throwback episode, I’m breaking down the difference between sparks, chemistry, and compatibility and why chasing the spark can actually hurt your dating life. We’ll talk about what the spark really is (spoiler: it’s brain chemicals), why it fades fast, and what matters more for a long-term relationship. I share the three biggest myths about sparks, plus tips for building real chemistry and knowing when to keep dating someone, even if you're not feeling butterflies out of the gate. This episode originally aired on 2/13/2024.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

* Ep. 27 – How To Tell If Someone Is A Good Match

* My course: How to Identify Your Needs

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5 Lessons About Dating & Money From "Materialists" (Bonus Ep!)

Fri, 27 Jun 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this bonus episode, I'm sharing my thoughts on the new movie, "Materialists." I'm breaking down what this film says about love, money, capitalism and dating for the long term, and what it got right about today's dating culture. If you haven't seen this movie yet, beware of spoilers! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this too, so drop your hot takes in the comments below.

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181. Modern Meet Cutes: How & Where Folks Are Meeting IRL (Listener Stories)

Tue, 24 Jun 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I’m diving into the magic of the real-life meet-cute (yes, it still happens)! You'll hear voice notes from listeners sharing stories about how they met people off the apps, plus my own reflections on building confidence to strike up conversations wth strangers, flirting in everyday situations, and saying yes to new experiences. At the end, we’ll talk about what adult summer camp taught me about connection and the power of community. I'm also sharing a new segment called Date Idea Drop to inspire you to have dates that aren't just drinks and dinner.

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180. Dating A Friend Without "Ruining It" & Friendship Advice w/ Anna Goldfarb

Tue, 17 Jun 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Ever fallen for a friend? Struggled to balance dating and maintaining your closest connections? In this episode of Dating Intentionally, I’m joined by friendship expert and journalist Anna Goldfarb, author of Modern Friendship, to talk about the emotional intelligence it takes to navigate friendship, dating, and everything in between. We explore the blurred lines between platonic and romantic relationships, how to communicate when feelings for a friend grow, and why the quality of your friendships directly impacts your success in dating. Whether you’re craving deeper connection, feeling burned by fading friendships, or wondering if not having close friends is a red flag, this conversation is for you. At the end, we get into an email from a listener who feels resentful toward her friends' indifference about world issues.

MORE ON ANNA GOLDFARB:

Her book is SO good- take a peek here

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179. How to Talk About the Future Without Scaring Them Off

Tue, 10 Jun 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I’m breaking down how to talk about the future in dating without putting pressure on the other person. Whether you’re in the early stages or navigating a new relationship, these conversations can feel tricky, but they don’t have to be. I’m sharing mindset shifts that help, scripts for each stage of dating, what actually creates pressure, and practical ways to bring up future plans without scaring someone off. We’ll also get into how to stay grounded in your own vision while respecting their pace. At the end I answer a dating dilemma and introduce a new segment called Text Support!

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178. Casual Dating Tips For When You're Not Looking (Or Ready) To Commit

Tue, 03 Jun 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I’m diving into the often messy, misunderstood world of casual dating. If you’ve ever wondered how to approach it without getting emotionally wrecked or unintentionally leading someone on this one’s for you. I’m breaking down how to date casually with clarity, from being upfront about your intentions to setting boundaries that protect your energy. We’ll talk about why emotional detachment matters, how to enjoy casual connections without automatically making it about sex, and what to do if you catch real feelings.

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177. How to Spot Real Compatibility in Early Dating w/ Danny Goldstein

Tue, 27 May 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I’m joined by Danny Goldstein, founder of the Austin-based matchmaking company Crux Compatible, to talk all things compatibility, chemistry, and intentional dating. Danny has a fascinating journey, from practicing law to running a matchmaking business rooted in a deep understanding of what actually makes two people a good fit. We dive into his unique process, including the extensive questionnaire he uses with clients, and break down the qualities that truly matter in early dating versus the ones we tend to over-prioritize. Danny shares how to plan dates that reveal real compatibility, what he sees daters get wrong most often, and his personal playbook for making early connections feel both fun and meaningful. If you’ve ever felt unsure how to spot real compatibility, this episode is for you!

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176. The Attachment Cycle Explained (Why We're Attracted to People Who End Up Hurting Us)

Fri, 23 May 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I’m diving into why we keep getting drawn to the same types of partners, even when those relationships don't work out or we keep getting hurt. I’ll break down the psychology behind attraction, how our early experiences and attachment styles play a huge role, and why it’s so damn hard to break those familiar patterns. I’m also sharing my own journey of recognizing these dynamics in my life and what it took to finally shift from toxic cycles to healthier, more fulfilling connections. Plus, I’ve got some practical tips to help you do the same.

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175. How Writing a Manifest Can Help You Find "The One" w/ Maria Avgitidis

Tue, 20 May 2025 07:00:00 -0000

According to Matchmaker Maria, you're not as picky as you think. In this episode, Maria Avgitidis (@matchmakermaria) is back on the pod to talk all things dating, relationships, and her brand-new book, Ask A Matchmaker. We get into the nitty-gritty of what it really takes to find (and keep) the right person. We also dive deep into the power of writing a manifest (NOT to be confused with manifestation) about what you want in a partner and how creating a clear vision focused on positivity can shift your entire dating experience. At the end, we talk about Dr. Helen Fisher's Temperament Inventory (a method of personality typing) and how Maria uses it in her work.

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174. Navigating Relationship "Firsts" (Meeting Friends, Parents, First Sleepover etc)

Fri, 16 May 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, you’ll learn how to navigating the milestones you’ll hit in a new relationship. All of these “firsts” can be both exciting and nerve-wracking! From the first sleepover to meeting each other's friends and family, these "firsts" often come with their own set of challenges and considerations. I want you to approach these significant moments with intention and authenticity. I’m discussing timing, boundaries, and communication strategies for various relationship milestones, including weekend getaways, deeper conversations, and holiday celebrations. Whether you're currently dating or preparing for future relationships, this episode offers practical advice on handling these important transitions while staying true to yourself.

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173. Tips For Managing Your Mind Drama & Anxiety While Dating w/ Britt Frank

Tue, 13 May 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I’m sitting down with Britt Frank to dig into the messy, complicated world of the inner critics, especially how it shows up in dating. We talk about recognizing the nature of our inner dialogue and why it’s so important to validate our feelings instead of brushing them off.

Throughout our conversation, we explore how to move from letting our inner critic take the lead to guiding it into a more supportive role. We get into why self-leadership matters, how anxiety plays into our lives, and why being kind to ourselves makes all the difference in relationships. This episode is all about shifting from self-judgment to self-acceptance and building the kind of inner dialogue that helps us thrive.

Check out Britt's new book, Align Your Mind!

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172. When You're Looking For A Slow Burn, But They're Rushing It

Fri, 09 May 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode of Dating Intentionally, I’m talking about the very real and very common experience of rushing a connection in dating. You’ll hear the signs to look out for, like constant texting, premature intimacy, or talking about the future way too soon. While some of this can feel exciting, I explain why it’s often a red flag, not just enthusiasm. I’ll walk you through how to recognize when things are moving too fast, how to set boundaries without killing the vibe, and why it’s so important to actually get to know someone before you start planning your life together. I wrap things up with some concrete ways to slow it down and find a pace that feels right for you.

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171. How To Rewire Your Attraction To Pursue Healthier Connections w/ Louise Rumball

Tue, 06 May 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, we’re getting into why we’re so often drawn to the wrong people and what it takes to break out of those old attraction patterns for good. If you’ve ever found yourself chasing a certain vibe or dynamic in dating (even when it never really works out), this conversation is going to hit. I’m joined by Louise Rumball, host of the Healing Honeys podcast (formerly Openhouse) and creator of Daily Devotion, a somatic wellness studio helping women feel better in their bodies. Louise shares her own experience of rewiring her attraction patterns, how she met her current partner, and what healing looks like in real life. We also talk about embracing single life, the importance of a slow burn, decentering romance, what to focus on if you’re at the start of your healing journey, and what growth looks like even after years of therapy and self-work.

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170. Feeling A Shift In Their Energy? Here's What It Means And What To Do

Fri, 02 May 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, you'll learn all about "the shift" which is what you experience when someone goes from super enthusiastic about you, to suddenly pulling away, sometimes out of nowhere. It's confusing, disheartening and all too common. Listen to learn why this happens, what you can do about it and my take on whether or not you can stop it before it happens/see it coming.

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169. Dating With ADHD And Tips For Neurodivergent Daters w/ Christal Wang

Tue, 29 Apr 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, we’re talking about what it’s like to date with ADHD and how ADHD can show up in dating and relationships in ways you might not expect. Whether you have ADHD or you’re dating someone who does (or might), this conversation is packed with insights you won’t want to miss. I’m joined by Christal Wang, founder of Shimmer Care and one of my favorite ADHD educators on Instagram (@adhd.christal). We get into how ADHD impacts communication, connection, and emotional regulation in dating, plus practical tips for both people with ADHD and their partners. This episode isn’t just for neurodivergent folks, it’s for anyone who wants to date with more patience, empathy, and self-awareness.

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168. How To Tell If You're Being Love Bombed Or If It's Genuine Interest (throwback)

Fri, 25 Apr 2025 07:00:00 -0000

This episode originally aired 12/22/23! Is it love bombing or healthy enthusiasm? In this episode, I break down how to distinguish between genuine interest and manipulative intensity. We’ll cover clear signs of love bombing, why people do it, and what to do if you find yourself in a relationship with a love bomber. Plus, you’ll hear real stories from Dating Intentionally listeners who’ve been through it. and what they wish they knew sooner.

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Jennie's approach to navigating dating app messages (IG)

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167. A Deep Dive Into Burned Haystack Dating Method w/ Dr. Jennie Young

Tue, 22 Apr 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, you'll learn why so many dating app profiles start to look and sound the same and what that means on a deeper level (It's deeper than you think). I’m joined by Dr. Jennie Young, a writer, English professor, and creator of Burned Haystack Dating Method. BHDM is a framework for understanding the patterns and formulas people use in their bios (usually without even realizing it). We talk about why these patterns show up, how they shape your experience swiping, and how to create a dating app profile that actually stands out without trying so hard. At the end, we analyze some profiles and messages together to identify rhetorical patterns. This episode is going to change how you look at dating app profiles!

Jennie's Instagram

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Burned Haystack Dating Method RULES

Burned Haystack Dating Method Facebook Group

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166. You Need These 3 Qualities To Be Good At Dating (And Why It Matters)

Fri, 18 Apr 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I'm breaking down the three C's of being good at dating: character, curiosity, and confidence. I'll share how each one plays into being a great date, and why that matters in the first place. Even though we're dating to ultimately stop dating, your skills in this area will 100% affect your outcome. This episode will guide you through the qualities that truly matter, how to work on them, and what happens when you have two, but not all three.

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165. Slow Burn Chemistry, Flaky First Dates & Risking A Friendship For Love

Tue, 15 Apr 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I'm diving into five dating dilemmas from listeners! If you want to submit a longer question for me to answer on the podcast or YouTube, here's the link.

Tune in to hear my advice on these dating and relationship issues:

I got my dream job in another country. How should I approach dating?
How do I bounce back from dating burnout when nothing seems to be working?
Why do so many first dates get canceled, and is it something I’m doing wrong?
Is a slow-burn connection worth exploring if it feels more like friendship than chemistry?
Should I risk an 8-year friendship to tell my friend I have feelings for him?

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164. Dating Standards: Are You Too Picky or Not Picky Enough?

Fri, 11 Apr 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, we're getting into what standards in dating are (and what they're not) and how to tell if your standards are too high or too low. I get into the dangers of each and how to adjust your standards no matter which category you fall into. Are your standards holding you back? Hint: Too-high standards are a form of self-sabotage, and too-low standards are a form of self-abandonment.

Examples of dating standards:

I date people who have the time to see me in person within days of matching or first starting to talk.
I continue to date people who are consistent in their communication
I sleep with someone when I feel confident there’s alignment in what kind of relationship we’re both looking for
I date people who have the ability to share times that work for them for dates, make plans with me and follow through
I continue seeing people who I’m attracted to by the third date

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163. Why High Achievers Struggle To Feel Secure In Love w/ Clare Cui

Tue, 08 Apr 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I talk to Clare Cui from @bethathealinggirl about anxious attachment, intellectualizing emotions, and other ways we hold ourselves back in dating and relationships. We talk about the deep conditioning that drives us to seek control through logic, how we end up triggering ourselves without realizing it, and the confusion between intuition and anxiety. Clare shares how anxious attachment often hides in plain sight for high achievers, and we dig into why so many of us look for safety in others instead of creating it internally. This conversation is packed with mic-drop moments and hard truths that will get you thinking differently about your emotions, how you handle them, and how that relates to your love life.

Check out Clare's podcast, Be That Healing Girl Podcast

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162. Ten Key Relationship Green Flags (And Red Flags To Look Out For)

Fri, 04 Apr 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I'm deep-diving into ten relationship green flags that aren't talked about enough, how to spot them, and their red flag counterparts. You deserve a partner who has the basic green flags we always talk about like consistency, respect, listening, effort etc. But today, we're going deeper into what it looks like to have a truly supportive partner and the real signs that your partner is empathetic and compassionate. At the end, I address a question about navigating dating someone who shows up in all the right ways but misses the mark on one small but important thing.

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161. What Starting A Healthy Relationship Actually Looks Like (After 4 Years Single) w/ Ali Jackson

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 04:00:00 -0000

In this episode, Ali Jackson of Finding Mr. Height (one of my favorite dating podcasts) is back on the pod to talk about how she met her current boyfriend just days after we recorded our first episode together in 2024. Ali gets into meeting her boyfriend in person, managing anxiety while getting into a new relationship, how she knew she wanted to commit and how she had the "define the relationship" conversation. We also get into dating outside your type, making the first move and why being yourself (even if you're awkward) is always the best move. At the end, Ali shares advice for IRL dating. This episode is packed with advice and will inspire you to keep going, even if you've been dating for a long time.

Listen to our first episode together (one of my top five episodes from 2024)

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Episode on attachment theory (anxious/avoidant attachment)

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160. Six Reasons You Fall For The "Wrong" People (And How To Stop The Cycle)

Fri, 28 Mar 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, you'll learn some of the main reasons why you might keep falling for people who aren't the right match for you, like feeling drawn to what's familiar or being stuck in the anxious/avoidant cycle. Awareness of your patterns is the first step to breaking out of them! This episode also breaks down steps to catching yourself before you fall for the wrong person (again) and start shifting your focus on folks who could be a great match!

Episode on how to thrive while single and dating

Episode on attachment styles

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159. The Secrets To Making A Relationship Last 30+ Years w/ Michelle Lentz

Tue, 25 Mar 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, my guest, Michelle Lentz, breaks down the key attributes to look for in a long-term partner to have a successful relationship (and marriage, if that's what you're looking for). Michelle's marriage is going on 38 years! She has an Instagram account and book (Hey Beginner Wife) dedicated to the ins and outs of not just making a marriage last but enjoying your connection for the long haul. We talk about soul mates, managing expectations, communication tips, questions to ask in early dating when looking for marriage, and so much more.

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158. "I'm Doing Everything Right, But I'm Still Single." (How To Get Unstuck)

Fri, 21 Mar 2025 07:00:00 -0000

If you've ever felt like you're doing everything right in your dating life, but feel like nothing is working, this episode is for you. First, I get into a handful of mindset shifts to help you feel less stuck and down about where you are in your dating life today, and then I get into different approaches you can take to get unstuck. You'll walk away from this episode with a new perspective on timing, what success looks like in dating and what you can actually control in your dating life.

Here's the episode on dating for validation that I mentioned.

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157. "He Ghosted Me But Watches My Stories Daily" + 3 Other Dating Dilemmas

Tue, 18 Mar 2025 07:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I'm diving into four dating dilemmas from listeners! If you want to submit a longer question for me to answer on the podcast or YouTube, here's the link.

Here are the questions I get into on this episode:

"He ghosted me but watches my stories daily - can I salvage this?"

"I don't mind pursuing men, but they don't take me seriously. What am I doing wrong?"

"I'm a liberal woman, and he's a Trump supporter. Can it work?"

"I've done everything to move on after getting blindsided by my ex, but I'm still not over it. What can I do?"

Here's the episode I mentioned about signs that someone is interested/how to show interest.

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156. The Best First Date Questions + What Daters Regret Not Asking Sooner

Fri, 14 Mar 2025 04:00:00 -0000

Do you ever struggle with what to talk about on a date? Or maybe you want to get better at building real connections? In this episode, I’m sharing tons of inspiration for great questions to ask in early dating, the worst ones to avoid, and navigating tricky conversations without derailing the date. We’ll also dive into the number one topic that so many daters regret not bringing up sooner, how to answer "why are you single" (and what to ask instead). I also share how to ask better follow-up questions and scripts for handling tough topics like past relationships, STI talks, and career gaps.

Why they don't ask questions and how to deal

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155. Dating for the Long Haul? Here’s What to Think About (From a Guy’s POV) w/ Alex Koren

Tue, 11 Mar 2025 07:00:00 -0000

My brother Alex Koren is back on the podcast to share dating advice for folks looking for a long term relationship! Alex is a 30-year-old guy from NYC with his take on dating, relationships, and figuring out who’s the one. In this episode, we break down how to separate needs vs. wants, what past relationships can teach you, and how to tell if someone is just in it for the chase or actually ready for commitment. We also talk about how to approach people and where to meet great matches IRL. (Hint, it's not at the bars). Alex also shares his thoughts on not settling, DTR conversations, and how to build real comfort in dating. Plus, we dive into the mindset shifts that can help you make better choices in love, without overcomplicating things.

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154. How To Avoid & Get Out Of Situationships (throwback)

Fri, 07 Mar 2025 08:00:00 -0000

This episode originally aired in October 2022!

Situationships are messy, undefined, and often leave you feeling stuck. In this episode, I break down what a situationship really is, how to tell if you're in one, and why they rarely lead to the kind of relationship you want. I’ll share how to get out of a situationship, whether you're the one who wants more or the one who can’t commit, plus tips on avoiding them altogether. I also answer a listener’s question on recognizing red flags early and share my own experience with a situationship that dragged on for years.

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153. Relationship Anxiety: What It Is And How To Overcome It w/ Natalie Kennedy

Tue, 04 Mar 2025 08:00:00 -0000

This week, I’m joined by Natalie Kennedy, founder of Anxious Love Coach, to talk about her experience with relationship anxiety and Relationship OCD (ROCD). We get into what it looked like in her relationship, the steps she took to work through it, and what “working on yourself” actually means, both in and out of a relationship. We also dive into obsessive thoughts in early dating and relationships, how to recognize when your fears are getting in the way, and practical advice for navigating them. If you’ve ever spiraled over whether your feelings are “right” or questioned a great relationship because of intrusive thoughts, this episode is for you.

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Signs someone is emotionally available episode

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152. How To Tell If They're Emotionally Unavailable (And Signs You Are Too)

Fri, 28 Feb 2025 08:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I'm breaking down what emotional availability is, why it's important, how it relates to attachment style and signs your date isn't emotionally available. I share tips on how to navigate this and when it's a dealbreaker vs not. At the end, I get into signs you might be the emotionally unavailable one and steps to take toward becoming more emotionally available.

Questions:

Do I feel secure and confident in where I stand with them?

Do they communicate openly and consistently?

When I express my needs, do they listen and respond?

Do they follow through on what they say?

Do they make space for me in their life?

Do they show up emotionally when I need support?

Are they able to acknowledge their emotions and past relationship patterns?

Do I feel like I can be fully myself around them?

If I were to stop putting in effort, would this relationship still move forward?

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151. Bisexual & Queer Dating: Advice & What To Expect w/ Casey Tanner

Tue, 25 Feb 2025 08:00:00 -0000

In this episode, Casey Tanner, founder of Queer Sex Therapy and The Expansive Group, shares their journey, from navigating insecurities as someone newly exploring queer dating to meeting their current partner. We dive into dating IRL as a queer person, long-distance relationships, and what to do if you're intimidated by dating women. Casey also breaks down common queer sex myths, explores how gender roles translate in queer relationships, and shares mistakes they've made along the way. I love Casey's honest take on how it feels to date women as a woman with zero experience. Even if you’re straight, there’s plenty to learn from this fun conversation!

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150. How To Define & Discuss Your Relationship Needs In Dating (throwback)

Fri, 21 Feb 2025 08:00:00 -0000

In this episode, I'm deep-diving into why knowing your needs in a relationship is important, how I discovered mine and tips for discussing your relationship needs with a partner. Discovering my non-negotiables in a relationship is what kicked off my dating journey and I'm breaking down how you can use them to guide you in your dating journey. You'll learn what needs are, what they're not and what to expect when you bring them up with someone for the first time.

This episode originally aired in November 2022.

How To Identify Your Needs course: How To Identify Your Needs 1-hr Class

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Dating Intentionally on YouTube

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149. Beyond Early Dating: When Secure Feels Boring, Frequent Fighting & Not Feeling In Love

Tue, 18 Feb 2025 08:00:00 -0000

Today's episode features three new dating dilemmas for you, focusing on issues daters face in new relationships. The first is from a woman who's not sure she can fall in love with her guy and isn't sure what to do. Our second dilemma focuses on the question: how much fighting is normal? And the last one is from a woman in a loving, secure relationship that she feels lacks excitement. Listen for my takes and advice, and comment below to share yours!

Book rec: Hold Me Tight

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Love bombing vs genuine interest

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148. How To Show Interest In Early Dating (Without Looking Desperate)

Fri, 14 Feb 2025 08:00:00 -0000

If showing interest in the person you're dating is scary, this episode will help! Showing interest when you're interested is key in developing a secure, healthy relationship in the early dating stage - even when things feel uncertain. I'm breaking down the appropriate, not-desperate ways to show someone you're into them before you're committed so they know exactly where you stand. On the flipside, listen to learn ways people may be showing interest in YOU that you could be missing. At the end, I'm sharing results from a survey I took on what people really want for Valentine's Day.

36 love questions

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