Turtle Time

A Little More Going On (Summer House S10 E15 Recap)

Wed, 13 May 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On today's special episode of Turtle Time - "A Little More Going On" - we begin by breaking down all of the latest news like the rumors that Jenn Fessler cheated on her husband of 27 years with West Wilson after the Bravo Watch Party in 2024, Amy getting to see Jesse Solomon live, the Next Gen NYC season 2 trailer, the McBee Dynasty season 3 trailer, and even more news than that! (00:00 - 55:55)

And then we dedicate all of our hearts and minds to discussing this week's episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 15 - "The Summer of our Discontent" - and recap every single moment in it. (55:55)

If you enjoyed this episode and need more Turtle Time in your life, join the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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Patreon Teaser: Schwartz and Sandoval Meet Their Nemesis, Greg from The Belmont

Mon, 11 May 2026 19:35:00 -0000

Schwartz and Sandoval immediately clash with their new partner, Greg, while discussing the concept of their new bar.

If you enjoyed this teaser, join the Turtle Time Patreon and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear the full episode and access exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week. And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠TikTok⁠ or ⁠Instagram⁠.

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The Eye of Kristen (The Valley S3 E6 and RHOBH S15 Reunion Pt. 3 Recaps)

Fri, 08 May 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "The Eye of Kristen" - we discuss all of the hottest news on the planet which consists of someone from the new RHONY having a birthday party, Steven McBee Jr. checking himself into a treatment facility, Katie Maloney discussing her story on House of Stassi, and much more! (00:00 - 22:00)

As Turtle Time continues, we discuss this week's episode The Valley (season 3, episode 6) - "The Train to San Diego". (22:00)

And then, we recap Part 3 of the season 15 reunion of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. (1:10:30)

If you enjoyed this episode and need more Turtle Time in your life, join the ⁠⁠⁠⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on ⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠.

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Patreon Teaser: The Villa Rosa Film Society Presents - The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Thu, 07 May 2026 17:28:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss the film, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, as part of our ongoing Villa Rosa Film Society series.

If you enjoyed this teaser, join the Turtle Time Patreon and become a Screening Room VIP to hear the full episode. We'll be releasing film discussions each month. And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠TikTok⁠ or ⁠Instagram⁠.

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Lindsay Hubbard's Second Annual Freedom Dinner (Summer House S10 E14, RHORI S1 E6, and RHOA S17 E5 Recaps)

Wed, 06 May 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On today's award-winning episode of Turtle Time - "Lindsay Hubbard's Second Annual Freedom Dinner " - we begin by talking about all of the latest news like Kyle Cooke and Carl Radke joining Saturday Night Live as cast members, the hottest Met Gala looks, and E!'s The Golden Life trailer featuring the legacy RHONY cast. (00:00 - 21:05)

And then we dedicate all of our energy to talking about this week's episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 15 - "The Lost Supper" - and recap every single moment in it. (21:05)

And then, we give RHORI season 1, episode 6 a little pop in. (01:21:35)

And then finally, we discuss RHOA season 17, episode 5 for a short amount of time. (01:33:55)

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Patreon Teaser: Lisa Vanderpump Finds Out About Brock Davies' Past

Mon, 04 May 2026 17:44:00 -0000

Lisa Vanderpump serves tea and then gets "tea" spilled when she learns about Brock Davies' past.

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The One Where Kathy Hilton Goes on the AI Jello Diet (The Valley S3 E5 and RHOBH S15 Reunion Pt. 2 Recaps)

Fri, 01 May 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "The One Where Kathy Hilton Goes on the AI Jello Diet" - we discuss all of the hottest news on the planet which consists of In The City adding new scenes to incorporate the so-called Amanda Goes West controversy, Lindsay Hubbard on WWHL, and Amanda Batula using Kyle Cooke as a decoy by kissing him at brunch on the patio of Balthazar. (00:00 - 27:20)

As Turtle Time continues, we discuss this week's episode The Valley (season 3, episode 5) - "The Family Feuds". (27:20)

And then, we recap Part 2 of the season 15 reunion of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. (1:14:05)

If you enjoyed this episode and need more Turtle Time in your life, join the ⁠⁠⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠⁠⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠.

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Ciara's Person (Summer House S10 E13, RHORI S1 E5, and RHOA S17 E4 Recaps)

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Ciara's Person" - we begin by talking about all of the latest news like the leaks from the Summer House reunion, Steven McBee Jr. ending his relationship with his girlfriend, and Michelle Saniei dating Dr. Dre. (00:00 - 42:15)

And then we dedicate all of our energy to talking about this week's episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 13 - "The Soft Launch of Soft Bar" - and recap every single moment in it. (42:15)

And then, we give RHORI season 1, episode 5 a little pop in. (01:44:00)

And then finally, we discuss RHOA season 17, episode 4 for a short amount of time. (01:58:00)

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Patreon Teaser: The Aftermath of James Kennedy's Proposal

Mon, 27 Apr 2026 16:15:00 -0000

James Kennedy forges an ill-fated brotherhood with Tom Sandoval and remarks on how expensive Raquel's diamond ring is.

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The Shadow Over the Valley (The Valley S3 E4 and RHOBH S15 Reunion Pt. 1 Recaps)

Fri, 24 Apr 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "The Shadow Over the Valley" - we discuss all of the latest news including Sonic debuting their new Frozen Refreshers, Ciara Miller joining Dancing with the Stars next season, and the Summer House season 10 reunion seating chart. (00:00 - 37:10)

As Turtle Time continues like a freight train at full speed, we discuss this week's demoralizing episode The Valley (season 3, episode 4) - "Reverse Bill Clinton" and what can be done to fix this franchise. (37:10)

And then, we recap Part 1 of the season 15 reunion of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. (1:16:50)

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Can We Just Be Best Friends Again? (Summer House S10 E12, RHORI S1 E4, and RHOA S17 E3 Recaps)

Wed, 22 Apr 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Can We Just Be Best Friends Again?" - we begin by talking about all of the latest developments in the so-called Amanda Goes West scandal including West and Amanda kissing at a Yankees game, Kyle Cooke kissing at a Page Six party, and new details about the timeline. (00:00 - 32:00)

And then we dedicate all of our energy to talking about this week's episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 12 - "Apologies" - and recap every single moment in it. (32:00)

And then, we give RHORI season 1, episode 4 a little pop in. (01:50:35)

And then finally, we discuss RHOA season 17, episode 3 for a short amount of time. (02:10:10)

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Patreon Teaser: Brock Davies Vs. Scheana's Mom

Mon, 20 Apr 2026 18:54:00 -0000

Amy and Riley reflect on the legacy of Brock Davies and his horrible relationship with Scheana's mom.

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Patreon Teaser: The Worst Named Bar in Town

Sun, 19 Apr 2026 19:11:00 -0000

Amy and Riley reflect on the legacy of Schwartz and Sandy's and its reviled name.

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Escape to Booko Mountain (The Valley S3 E3 and RHOBH S15 Finale Recap)

Fri, 17 Apr 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "Escape to Booko Mountain" - we discuss all of the latest news like Lisa Hochstein getting a mug shot, Luke from Summer House running for Congress, and other things. (00:00 - 20:20)

As Turtle Time continues like a freight train at full speed, we discuss this week's dull episode The Valley (season 3, episode 3) - "Zero Lounge" and what is still going wrong with the franchise. (20:20)

And then, we recap the season 15 finale of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - "PK-ing Up the Pieces". (1:12:25)

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The Sanctity of the Summer House (Summer House S10 E11, RHORI S1 E3, and RHOA S17 E2 Recaps)

Wed, 15 Apr 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "The Sanctity of the Summer House" - we begin by talking about the RHOP casting news, Southern Charm filming season 12, and Lena Dunham cheating on Jack Antonoff. (00:00 - 14:45)

And then we dedicate all of our energy to talking about this week's episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 11 - "What Happens in Vegas" - and recap every single moment in it. (14:45)

And then, we give RHOA season 17, episode 2 a little pop in. (01:21:00)

And then finally we give RHORI season 1, episode 3 a little pop as well. (01:32:00)

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Ball Brothers 2: Dr. Turek's Revenge (The Valley S3 E2 and RHOBH S15 E17 Recap)

Fri, 10 Apr 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "Ball Brothers 2: Dr. Turek's Revenge" - we discuss the latest developments in the unfolding Wilson-Batula Betrayal, as well as Bethenny Frankel's social media content. (00:00 - 27:10)

As Turtle Time continues like a freight train at full speed, we discuss this week's horrifying episode The Valley (season 3, episode 2) - "Post-Mortem" and what is going still wrong with the franchise. (27:10)

And then, we recap this week's dull episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 17) - "Dorit vs. Kyle and Her Army of Soldiers". (1:10:30)

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Carl's a Mess and Kyle Is Stressed (Summer House S10 E10, RHORI S1 E2, and RHOA S17 E1 Recap)

Wed, 08 Apr 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Carl's A Mess and Kyle is Stressed" - we begin by talking about all of the latest updates from The Batula-Wilson Betrayal and many, many other things that are newsworthy. (00:00 - 31:20)

And then we dedicate all of our energy to talking about this week's episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 10 - "The One Where Kyle Has a Little More Going On Than You Would Think" - and recap every single moment in it. (31:30)

And then we give RHORI season 1, episode 2 a little pop in. (01:28:25)

And then finally, we give the season 17 premiere of RHOA a little pop in as well. (01:42:55)

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Patreon Teaser: James and Max's Fight at Dan Tana's Over Split Salad

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 16:10:00 -0000

On our recap of the Season 9 premiere of Vanderpump Rules, we discuss James and Max's legendary fight.

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A Summer House in Shambles (The Valley S3 Premiere, RHOBH, and RHORI S1 Premiere Recaps)

Fri, 03 Apr 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "A Summer House in Shambles" - we discuss the latest developments in the West and Amanda saga and also touch on Sai De Silva getting divorced. (00:00 - 34:20)

As Turtle Time continues, we discuss the lackluster season 3 premiere of The Valley and what is going wrong with the franchise. (34:20)

And then, we recap this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 16) - "End Kyle". (1:05:30)

And then finally we discuss our thoughts on the new show, The Real Housewives of Rhode Island. (01:21:40)

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My Mate's Missus (Summer House S10 E9 Recap)

Wed, 01 Apr 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "My Mate's Missus" - we begin by talking about the biggest Bravo news in years - Amanda and West dating and provide all of the latest updates. And also say a huge happy birthday to Mr. Feeny who just turned 99. (00:00 - 33:05)

And then we dedicate all of our energy to talking about this week's episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 9 - "A Little More Going On" - and recap every single moment in it. (33:05)

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Turtle Time Breaking News: West Wilson and Amanda Batula Confirm Relationship

Tue, 31 Mar 2026 20:11:00 -0000

Enter the Turtle Time Situation Room with us as we discuss Amanda Batula and West Wilson announcing that they are in a relationship.

If you enjoyed this breaking news update and need more Turtle Time in your life, join the ⁠⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on ⁠YouTube⁠.

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Patreon Teaser: The West Wilson and Amanda Batula Hookup Rumors

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 16:08:00 -0000

We discuss the West Wilson and Amanda Batula hookup rumors and how they make us feel.

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Shep's Toast (Southern Charm S11 Reunion Pt. 2 and RHOBH S15 E15)

Fri, 27 Mar 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "Shep's Toast" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like Andy Cohen getting mad at Sarah Michelle Gellar, how we both go to sleep at night, and the RHONJ casting news.(00:00 - 23:35)

As Turtle Time continues, we discuss the final part of the Southern Charm season 11 reunion and assess the season overall. (23:35)

And then lastly, we recap this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 15) - "To Be or to Chat GPT". (01:16:00)

If you enjoyed this episode and need more Turtle Time in your life, join the ⁠⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week.

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Kyle is Cooked (Summer House S10 E8 Recap)

Wed, 25 Mar 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Kyle is Cooked" - we begin with some of the most vital news you've ever heard in your life - Margaret Josephs leaving RHONJ, the 20th anniversary of RHOC's premiere, and RHOM potentially not being cancelled. (00:00 - 30:25)

And then we dedicate all of our energy to talking about this week's episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 8 - "What Hath Kyle Wrought" - and recap every single moment in it. (30:25)

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The Magician from Nashville (Southern Charm S11 Reunion Pt. 1 and RHOBH S15 E14)

Fri, 20 Mar 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "The Magician from Nashville" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like Project Hail Mary, Spider-Man, and Martha Stewart's cameo on the upcoming season of RHONY. (00:00 - 28:25)

As Turtle Time continues, we discuss the first part of the Southern Charm season 11 reunion. (28:25)

And then lastly, we recap this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 14) - "A Kyle Cold War". (01:20:45)

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Spin Thy Bottle (Summer House S10 E7 Recap)

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Spin Thy Bottle" - we begin with some of the most vital news you've ever heard in your life - Austen Kroll's new cat food sponsorship, the RHOBH season 15 reunion seating chart, Lisa Vanderpump getting interviewed in London, and Banksy's unmasking. (00:00 - 34:55)

And then we dedicate all of our energy to talking about this week's wonderful episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 7 - "Marry a DJ" - and recap every single moment in it. (35:30)

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Patreon Teaser: Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz Scrub the Toilets at SUR

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 12:00:00 -0000

Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz scrub the SUR toilets and engage in "toilet humor". Also, Jax Taylor has to take a spoonful of bitter medicine when Sandoval hosts a rival pool party.

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Craig's Lost Soul (Southern Charm S11 Finale and RHOBH S15 E13)

Fri, 13 Mar 2026 12:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "Craig's Lost Souls" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like Harrison Ford doing the press run of the century, Kyle Cooke saying he's attracted to Maura from Traitors, and we give a whole-hearted congratulations to Cole McBee for having another child on the way. (00:00 - 21:25)

As Turtle Time continues, we discuss the season 11 finale of Southern Charm - "Salley Season". (21:25)

And then lastly, we recap this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 13) - "A Night at the Opera". (01:14:40)

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Bailey Blows It Big Time With Ben (Summer House S10 E6, VPR S12 Reunion, and RHOP S10 Reunion Recaps)

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 18:55:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Bailey Blows It Big Time With Ben" - we begin with some of the most vital news you've ever heard in your life - Jax and Brittany's custody deal, the new RHONY cast with Carole Radziwill, Scheana Shay saying Lisa Vanderpump wanted Lala to have sex with Tom Sandoval, and that's just the start of it! (00:00 - 23:25)

And then we ramp up by talking about this week's phenomenal episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 6 - "The End of Bailey and Ben " - and recap every single moment in it. (23:30)

And that's not all! We give our final thoughts on the Vanderpump Rules season 12 reunion (01:14:10) and the final part of the RHOP season 10 reunion. (01:28:25) If you love Turtle Time, you're going to love this episode where we talk about a lot of stuff.

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Patreon Teaser: Jax Taylor Suffers From Mercury’s Gatorade

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 17:04:00 -0000

Jax Taylor roars life back into Vanderpump Rules season 8 by having a complete meltdown about having to go to a Malibu beach to pick up trash.

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Turtle Time Trip: The Real Housewives of Down Under (Below Deck Down Under S4 E1-3 Recap)

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 13:00:00 -0000

We are going BELOW DECK for the first time and we never want to come back up! That's right - for the first time in Turtle Time history, we're recapping the Below Deck franchise, with the Below Deck: Down Under x Real Housewives of Salt Lake City crossover event of the century.

So grab your floatie couture, make sure your anchor doesn't whinge, and sail away with us on a Turtle Time Trip that will hopefully make you okay with the fact that we didn't recap Southern Charm or Beverly Hills this week.

If you enjoyed this special episode and need more Turtle Time in your life, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Last Duel for Ciara's Heart (Summer House S10 E5 Recap)

Wed, 04 Mar 2026 13:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "The Last Duel for Ciara's Heart" - we have Summer House fever! That's right - we are dedicating an entire episode to Summer House with only 10 minutes of shitty non-Bravo news!

So get ready for a major recap of this week's episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 5 - "Medieval Times" which is so detailed it's basically like we were on an Arthurian quest to dissect the shit out of it.

If you enjoyed this episode and need more Turtle Time in your life, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Dr. Craigy and Mr. Craig (Southern Charm S11 E13 and RHOBH S15 E11)

Fri, 27 Feb 2026 13:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "Dr. Craigy and Mr. Craig" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like Lisa Rinna doing stuff. (15:45)

As the episode continues, we discuss this week's episode of Southern Charm (season 11, episode 13) - "Craig Gets Drunk and Screams Again". (15:45)

And then lastly, we discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 11) - "We Need To Talk About Dorit's Shopping". (01:05:10)

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What Did Jesse Solomon Do? (Summer House S10 E4, VPR S12 Finale, and RHOP S10 Reunion Pt. 2 Recaps)

Wed, 25 Feb 2026 13:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "What Did Jesse Solomon Do?" - we discuss Paddington blowing it at the BAFTAs, the RHOA season 17 trailer, Vanderpump Rules being renewed, and Ariana Madix moving her belongings from the home she used to share with Tom Sandoval. (00:00 - 29:00)

And then we break down our favorite moments from Part 2 of the Real Housewives of Potomac season 10 reunion. (29:00)

After that, we rip into this week's episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 4 - "Ben's Australian-Themed Singles Mixer" and dissect every aspect of it. (45:50)

And then finally with our remaining energy, we briefly discuss this week's episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 12 episode 12 - "Biting The Dust". (01:33:00)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: The Truth Behind the Kristen / Stassi / Katie Fallout

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 00:33:00 -0000

We try to crack the code on why Katie and Stassi hate Kristen so much this season.

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Charley's Secret (Southern Charm S11 E12 and RHOBH S15 E10)

Fri, 20 Feb 2026 13:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "Charley's Secret" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like Dorinda Medley pulling a full-blown Roof Man at Bloomingdale's as well as her statement on joining E!'s "The Golden Life" and what it means for her future on Bravo. And we break down the new trailer for The Valley season 3. (22:50)

As the episode continues, we discuss this week's episode of Southern Charm (season 11, episode 12) - "The Night at the Iguana". (39:20)

And then lastly, we discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 10) - "We Need to Talk About the Cult". (01:31:40)

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On Apology Beach (Summer House S10 E3, VPR S12 E11, and RHOP S10 Reunion Pt. 1 Recaps)

Wed, 18 Feb 2026 13:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "On Apology Beach" - we discuss Bethenny Frankel meeting up with Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan in Florida, Michelle Obama's Bravo love, and the RHOA teaser for the upcoming season. (00:00 - 23:10)

And then we break down our favorite moments from Part 1 of the Real Housewives of Potomac season 10 reunion. (23:10)

After that, we rip into this week's episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 3 - "I Went to Apology Beach and All I Got Was This Lousy Apology" and dissect every aspect of it. (39:10)

And then finally with our remaining energy, we briefly discuss this week's episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 12 episode 11 - "Paint a Date". (01:28:20)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Lisa Vanderpump Meets the Most Handsome Man on Earth

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 13:00:00 -0000

Sean McBearney makes a good impression on Lisa Vanderpump when she goes to "check in" on her new hotel room in Caesar's Palace. And Riley shares his thoughts on The Godfather: Part III. From our recap of "Mr. and Mrs. Schwartz Take Two".

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The Legend of Itchy Grass Farm (Southern Charm S11 E11 and RHOBH S15 E9)

Fri, 13 Feb 2026 13:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "The Legend of Itchy Grass Farm" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like Dorinda Medley becoming a friend-of or quite possibly replacing Jill Zarin on E! new show, "The Golden Life", Andy Cohen's new Mackage ad hot off the heels of his Nerds campaign, and much more! (00:00 - 18:50)

We then discuss this week's episode (season 11, episode 11) of Southern Charm - "Big Whit Dinner". (18:50)

And finally, we discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 9) - "The Dunes of Amagansett". (01:10:45)

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Amy and Riley's Summer House Sailgate (Summer House S10 E2 and VPR S12 E10)

Wed, 11 Feb 2026 13:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Amy and Riley's Summer House Sailgate" - we discuss the party of the year, The Reality Hot Seat Sailgate Party, in San Francisco and all of the wonderful people we met. We then discuss Jill Zarin's comments on Bad Bunny's Super Bowl performance resulting in her getting fired from E! upcoming show, The Golden Life. (00:00 - 33:15)

Then we rip into this week's episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 2 - "Kyle's Toast" and dissect every aspect of it. (33:15)

And then finally with our remaining energy, we recap this week's episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 12 episode 10 - "Harry Potter and Heartbreak". (01:28:35)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: The Worst Vanderpump Rules Episode Yet

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 18:19:00 -0000

The trio of Max, Dayna, and Brett continue their reign of terror on Season 8 of Vanderpump Rules.

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In the Shadow of Salley (Southern Charm S11 E10 and RHOBH S15 E8)

Fri, 06 Feb 2026 13:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "In the Shadow of Salley" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like the Summer House: In The City teaser, the Real Housewives of Rhode Island trailer, Bronwyn Newport's new boyfriend, and Teddi Mellencamp becoming Chala Lilly on The Masked Singer. (00:00 - 30:35)

We then discuss this week's episode (season 11, episode 10) of Southern Charm - "Itchy Grass Farm". (30:35)

And finally, we discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 8) - "Is Rachel Okay?". (01:16:10)

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Mr. and Mrs. Send It (Summer House S10 E1 and VPR S12 E9)

Wed, 04 Feb 2026 21:58:00 -0000

On today's cathartic episode of Turtle Time - "Mr. and Mrs. Send It" - we break down all of the hottest news items of the week like the Paige DeSorbo / Kinder Bueno ad that will be "scoring points" with candy bar heads at the Big Game this year, as well as the OG RHONY cast defecting over to the E! network for their new show, The Golden Life. (00:00 - 23:10)

We then break down Andy Cohen's sit down with Karen Huger for the Real Housewives of Potomac season finale. (23:10)

Then we rip into the season 10 premiere of Summer House and dissect every aspect of it. (37:20)

And then finally with our remaining energy, we recap this week's episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 12 episode 9 - "What Happens at Tobin's". (01:38:55)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Villa Rosa Film Society Presents - Twilight

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 17:45:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss the 2008 film, Twilight, as part of our ongoing Villa Rosa Film Society series.

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Patreon Teaser: The Worst Tom Schwartz Moment in Vanderpump Rules History

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 20:48:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss Tom Schwartz' despicable treatment of Katie after Randall Emmett's cop prank on Tom Sandoval.

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Money Queen and Co. (Southern Charm S11 E9 and RHOBH S15 E7)

Fri, 30 Jan 2026 06:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "Money Queen and Co. " - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like Barry Keoghan's new hairstyle that makes him look sort of like Ringo from The Beatles, and much, much more. (00:00 - 24:10)

We then discuss this week's episode (season 11, episode 9) of Southern Charm - "Austen's Brackish New Bowtie". (24:10)

And finally, we discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 7) - "Disregulated". (01:12:10)

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The Cherry on Todd (RHOSLC S6 Reunion Part 3, VPR S12 E8, and RHOP S10 E16)

Wed, 28 Jan 2026 13:00:00 -0000

On today's soon to be award-winning episode of Turtle Time - "The Cherry on Todd" - we break down all of the hottest news items of the week like Kendall Jenner's new provocative ad campaign, the Summer House season 10 sneak peek, and Carl Radke's new podcast, More Life with special guest Kyle Cooke. (00:00 - 17:50)

We then talk about this week's wonderful episode Real Housewives of Potomac (S10 E16) - "Wandering Land" (17:50)

And then recap this week's episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 12 episode 8 - "The Black Sheep Bar and Grill". (31:00)

And finally, we discuss Part 3 of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 6 reunion. (56:25)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Lisa Vanderpump's Relationship to the Austin Powers Franchise

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 20:07:00 -0000

Amy and Riley theorize on the Austin Powers film franchise and its impact on Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd.

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Craig's Enemy (Southern Charm S11 E8 and RHOBH S15 E6)

Fri, 23 Jan 2026 13:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "Craig's Enemy" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like Marysol Patton resurrecting her deceased mother to sell caviar, Tom Sandoval's descent into Hell on House of Villains, and what it would be like if Tom Cruise went to Trader Joe's. (00:00 - 30:25)

We then discuss this week's episode (S11 E8) of Southern Charm - "A Tough Conversation". (30:30)

And finally, we discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 6) - "Psychic Summer". (01:14:45)

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Barlow's Burner (RHOSLC S6 Reunion Part 2, VPR S12 E7, and RHOP S10 E15)

Wed, 21 Jan 2026 13:00:00 -0000

On today's soon to be award-winning episode of Turtle Time - "Barlow's Burner" - we break down all of the hottest news items of the week including the fallout from Kyle Cooke and Amanda Batula's separation announcement, Ben Affleck's respectful reaction to not knowing Lisa Barlow, Venus Brinkley's comments about Scheana Shay, and the Victoria Beckham wedding dance that's going viral. (00:00 - 26:00)

We then discuss the latest developments on this week's episode Real Housewives of Potomac (S10 E15) - "The Better of our Angels" (26:00)

We then discuss this week's episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 12 episode 7 - "The Only Fans of Chris and Jason". (42:10)

And finally, we discuss Part 2 of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 6 reunion. (01:14:50)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Turtle Time Breaking News: Kyle Cooke and Amanda Batula Break Up

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 23:16:00 -0000

Enter the Turtle Time Situation Room with us as we discuss Amanda Batula and Kyle Cooke's separation and what it means for our lives.

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Salley Collects Chickens for the Chicken Coop (Southern Charm S11 E7 and RHOBH S15 E5 Recap)

Fri, 16 Jan 2026 13:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "Salley Collects Chickens for the Chicken Coop" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like Harry Styles bringing disco back, the Ultimate Road Trip cast announcement, Luann DeLesseps kissing someone, and Ariana Madix and Tom Sandoval officially ending Scandoval by agreeing to a settlement. (00:00 - 26:20)

We then discuss this week's episode (S11 E7) of Southern Charm - "Counting Your Chickens Before They Hatch". (26:20)

And finally, we discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 5) - "Vexed at the Vortex ". (01:05:00)

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The Business of Being Barlow (RHOSLC S6 Reunion Part 1 and VPR S12 E6 Recaps)

Wed, 14 Jan 2026 13:00:00 -0000

On today's ground-breaking episode of Turtle Time - "The Business of Being Barlow" - we break down all of the hottest news items of the week including Katie Ginella getting fired from RHOC and Paige DeSorbo saying her boyfriend's name on Giggly Squad as well as an in-depth review of James Cameron's latest film, Avatar: Fire and Ash. (00:00 - 32:05)

We then discuss the latest developments on Real Housewives of Potomac. (32:05)

We then discuss this week's episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 12 episode 6 - "The Formosa Film Festival". (42:40)

And finally, we discuss Part 1 of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 6 reunion. (01:22:00)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Dayna, Max, and Brett Revisited

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 19:19:00 -0000

Amy and Riley provide an assessment of Dayna, Max, and Brett's performance on season 8 of Vanderpump Rules.

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The Birth of Sutton Brown (Southern Charm S11 E6 and RHOBH S15 E4 Recap)

Fri, 09 Jan 2026 13:00:00 -0000

On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "The Birth of Sutton Brown" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like the upcoming Oscar race and whether Jay Kelly has what it takes, Andy Cohen getting a garbage can named after him, and RHOC's Gina Kirschenheiter getting engaged. (00:00 - 22:20)

We then talk our asses off while talking about this week's episode (S11 E6) of Southern Charm - "A Medium Rare Kind of Steak" (22:20).

And finally, we discuss this week's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 4) - "The Birth of Sutton Brown". (59:20)

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The Sisters of Salt (RHOSLC S6 Finale and VPR S12 E5 Recaps)

Wed, 07 Jan 2026 13:00:00 -0000

On today's ground-breaking episode of Turtle Time - "The Sisters of Salt" - we break down all of the hottest news items of the week including Lisa Hochstein and Jody breaking up, Todd Nepola dropping his lawsuit against Bravo with prejudice, and we break down the RHOSLC S6 Reunion trailer. (00:00 - 34:55)

We then discuss this week's episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 12 episode 5 - "A Bro Code Broken". (34:55)

And finally, we discuss the season 6 finale of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 6 - "A Tragedy in Greece". (01:14:05)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Nathalie Offers Condolences to Lisa Vanderpump

Tue, 06 Jan 2026 17:29:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss Nathalie consoling Lisa Vanderpump after the unexpected passing of her mother.

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Betrayal at Barney's Beanery (VPR S12 E4 and RHOSLC S6 E15 Recaps)

Fri, 02 Jan 2026 20:51:00 -0000

On today's wonderful, exclusive episode of Turtle Time - "Betrayal at Barney's Beanery" - we break down all of the hottest news items of the week including Kyle Richards and Mauricio getting cozy by the fire on New Years Eve, Antonia Gorga getting a lot of presents from Santa, and Heather Dubrow potentially joining the cast of RHOBH. (00:00 - 23:35)

We then recap this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 6, episode 15 - "The Quiet Spa". (23:35)

And finally, we discuss this week's episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 12 episode 4 - "The New DJ". (51:00)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Unlocking the Gates: A Decent Proposal (Vanderpump Rules S7 E1 Recap)

Wed, 31 Dec 2025 13:00:00 -0000

For the third time ever, Amy and Riley unlock the gates of Villa Rosa to provide the Little Turtle Cutie community with this free, full-length episode from our Patreon. Sit back and enjoy the life of a Villa Rosa VIP as we recap Vanderpump Rules season 7, episode 1 - "A Decent Proposal" in which Jax proposes to Brittany at the Malibu Crab Hut.

If you enjoyed this full-length episode and want to become a cherished Villa Rosa VIP, join the Turtle Time Patreon to hear our entire archive and access exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week. And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠TikTok⁠ or ⁠Instagram⁠.

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The Second Official Turtle Time Q&A

Fri, 26 Dec 2025 13:00:00 -0000

We proudly present to you the second official Turtle Time Q&A. We answer all of your most burning questions starting with the most sexy question all the way to the least sexy. We hope you enjoy all of these answers and they tide you over until we have normal episodes again.

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Turtle Time Christmas: RHONY's "December: Berkshires County" (S8 E9)

Wed, 24 Dec 2025 13:00:00 -0000

It's Christmas Eve and not a creature is stirring except for us as we recap this wonderful Christmas-themed episode of Real Housewives of New York City - "December: Berkshires County" (S8 E9).

We hope this bring you joy during this Christmas holiday and we want to thank you all for supporting Turtle Time this year. We love you all.

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Sutton UnStracked (Southern Charm S11 E5 and RHOBH S15 E3 Recap)

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 13:00:00 -0000

In this very special episode of Turtle Time - "Sutton UnStracked" - we discuss Alejandro G. Iñárritu's new film, Digger, NeNe Leakes potentially joining Ultimate Road Trip, Joe Gorga preparing this year's Feast of Seven Fishes, for his sister, Teresa, and even more exciting news than that if you listen. (00:00 - 19:00)

We then vicariously party our asses off while talking about this week's episode (S11 E5) of Southern Charm - "Craig's Shitty Paige-less Pool Party." (19:05).

And finally, we discuss this week's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 3) - "A Match Made in Hell!" (52:25)

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We Need To Talk About Meredith (VPR S12 E3 and RHOSLC S6 E14 Recaps)

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 13:00:00 -0000

On today's wonderful, exclusive episode of Turtle Time - "We Need To Talk About Meredith" - we break down all of the hottest news items of the week including The Traitors season 4 trailer, the Avatar: Fire and Ash advance reviews, and Todd Bradley and Bronwyn Newport getting a divorce. (00:00 - 23:00)

We then provide our thoughts on the two episodes of RHOP we missed. (23:05)

And then discuss this week's episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 12 episode 3 - "Dated But Related". (40:30)

And finally, we recap this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 6, episode 14 - "My Big Fat Greek Cooking Class". (01:05:15)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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A Beast at the Literary Feast (Southern Charm S11 E4 and RHOBH S15 E2 Recap)

Fri, 12 Dec 2025 13:00:00 -0000

In this very special episode of Turtle Time - "A Beast at the Literary Feast" - we discuss Kyle Cooke slamming a Truly at 5:30am and falling asleep on someone's couch, and Jen Shah flying the coop (prison) and getting out way early by having some of the best behavior in the world. We also mention the staggering box office numbers for Zootopia 2. (00:00 - 23:35)

We then vicariously party our asses off while talking about this week's episode (S11 E4) of Southern Charm - "What Moveable Beast Slouches Toward Charleston to Be Born" (23:35).

And finally, we discuss this week's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 2) - "Tom Girardi’s Horrible 86th Birthday" (58:05)

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Patreon Teaser: No Country For Vanderpump Rules' Old Men

Thu, 11 Dec 2025 13:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss the horrendous character work that Jax, Schwartz, Sandoval, and Beau employ for their "old men" disguises during Jax's bachelor party.

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Clash of the Titans (VPR S12 E2 and RHOSLC S6 E13)

Wed, 10 Dec 2025 13:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Clash of the Titans" - we talk about going to a wonderful Vanderpump Rules party at SUR (10:10) , and then we break down the Summer House season 10 trailer. (24:35)

We then talk about this week's episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 12 episode 2 - "Audrey's 22nd Birthday" and how much our judgement is now clouded after having met most of them. (38:10)

And finally, we recap this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 6, episode 13 - "Greek for the Week". (01:17:17)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Battle of Rufio and Hermione (Southern Charm S11 E3 and RHOBH S15 E1 Recap)

Fri, 05 Dec 2025 13:00:00 -0000

In this very special episode of Turtle Time - "The Battle of Rufio and Hermione" - Amy and Riley talk about so much news it will have your head spinning. News items such as Lindsay Hubbard and Mr. Bananas' war of words, Austen Kroll's Raising Cane's sponsorship that stars a familiar Christmas icon, Countess Luann's US Weekly cover, and Quentin Tarantino's awful denigration of Paul Dano's acting skills are all covered extensively. (00:00 - 34:05)

We then vicariously party our asses off while talking about this week's very fun episode (S11 E3) of Southern Charm - "Whitney's Literary Birthday Party" (34:10).

And finally, we discuss the delightful season 15 premiere of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - "The Annulment of Sutton Stracke". (01:28:30)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Vanderpump's New Rules (VPR S12 E1 and RHOSLC S6 E12)

Wed, 03 Dec 2025 13:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Vanderpump's New Rules" we talk about Steve McBee reporting to prison with the help of Todd Chrisley's tips, Jen Shah never coming back to RHOSLC, Southern Charm's Taylor Ann Green and Salley Carson's feud (00:00 - 29:10), and then we breeze through a quick recap of this week's awful Real Housewives of Potomac episode and why it's particularly bad. (29:10)

We then talk about the much-anticipated season 12 premiere of Vanderpump Rules and what we've lost and what we've gained in this new era. (37:20)

And finally, we recap this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 6, episode 12 - "The Boston Spill the Tea Party". (01:16:25)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Brittany Cartwright's Bachelorette Party Meltdown

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 19:31:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss Brittany Cartwright getting upset about people being critical of her and Jax's relationship.

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Salley Sells Singles By The Sea Shore (Southern Charm S11 E2 Recap)

Fri, 28 Nov 2025 13:00:00 -0000

In this very special post-Thanksgiving episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the odd Vanderpump Rules tribute special - "Raise Your Glasses to 11 Seasons" and debate why it exists. (00:00 - 23:10)

And then we vicariously party our asses off while talking about this week's very fun episode of Southern Charm. (23:10).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The End of Crazy Rich Asians (RHOSLC S6 E11 and RHOP S10 E8 Recaps)

Wed, 26 Nov 2025 13:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "The End of Crazy Rich Asians" - we discuss Jenna Lyons being fired / quitting RHONY, Jen Shah being released from prison soon, Gia Giudice winning Special Forces, and much more! (00:00 - 27:55)

We then quickly discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac - season 10, episode 8 - "We Need To Talk About Thiemo" (27:55)

And finally, we recap this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 6, episode 11 - "The Second Lunch". (55:15)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: What Did Scheana Shay's Season 8 Demotion Mean?

Tue, 25 Nov 2025 20:04:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss what "demoted" means in the VPR universe.

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Whitney's Lair (Southern Charm S11 E1 and RHOC S19 Reunion Pt. 3 Recap)

Fri, 21 Nov 2025 13:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Whitney's Lair" - we discuss Mauricio Umansky's hot as hell cover for People magazine and our night at the YouTube screening of Wicked: For Good. (00:00 - 30:20).

And after all of that we discuss the season 11 premiere of Southern Charm. (30:20)

And finally, we take one last bite of the orange by discussing part 3 of the Real Housewives of Orange County season 19 reunion. (01:02:10)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Amy and Riley's BravoCon 2025 Adventure

Thu, 20 Nov 2025 17:34:00 -0000

In this teaser from our Patreon recap of BravoCon 2025, we discuss getting our energy back after a day without water in our hotel.

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The Church of Mary Cosby (RHOSLC S6 E10 and RHOP S10 E7 Recaps)

Wed, 19 Nov 2025 13:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "The Church of Mary Cosby" - we discuss the news from BravoCon 2025 which includes the Lindsay Hubbard / Tom Sandoval hotel fight, the Madison LeCroy / Sai De Silva feud, Shep Rose ranting about Paige DeSorbo and much more! (00:00 - 38:35)

We then quickly discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac - season 10, episode 7 - "The Return of Ash T.O.P. (38:35)

And finally, we recap this week's disappointing episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 6, episode 10 - "The Gilded Church". (52:00)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Night at Mastro's (RHOC S19 Reunion Pt. 2 Recap)

Fri, 14 Nov 2025 13:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "The Night at Mastro's" - we discuss Heather Gay saying again that she had sex with Captain Jason, the new RHONY casting rumors, and Dolores and Paulie from RHONJ getting engaged. (00:00 - 15:45).

And after all of that we give our thoughts on the Dr. Wendy Osefo episode of Wife Swap: The Real Housewives Edition. (15:45)

We then discuss part 2 of the Real Housewives of Orange County season 19 reunion. (27:35)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Unflyable Meredith Marks (RHOSLC S6 E9 and RHOP S10 E6 Recaps)

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 13:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "The Unflyable Meredith Marks" - we discuss Tom Schwartz' new soft launched girlfriend, Captain Jason refuting Heather Gay's claim that they made love, and Cole McBee getting engaged! (00:00 - 21:55)

We then quickly discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac - season 10, episode 6 - "Suns Out, Buns Out" . (21:25)

And finally, we recap this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 6, episode 9 - "The Death of a Unicorn". (41:15)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Patreon Teaser: Ariana Madix Grovels to Lisa Vanderpump for Her Job Back

Tue, 11 Nov 2025 02:33:00 -0000

In this teaser from our Patreon recap of "Training Days" (Season 8, Episode 2) of Vanderpump Rules, we discuss Lisa Vanderpump making Ariana Madix grovel for her job back.

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Tamra Grudge Won’t Budge (RHOC S19 Reunion Pt. 1 Recap)

Fri, 07 Nov 2025 13:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Tamra Grudge Won’t Budge" - we discuss Lisa Barlow providing new evidence from Todd Newport's infamous date, Christina Applegate's strong words for the cast of RHOSLC, and a possible reconciliation for Teresa Guidice and Joe Gorga. (00:00 - 20:40).

And after all of that we give our thoughts on the Emily Simpson episode of Wife Swap: The Real Housewives Edition. (20:40)

We then discuss part 1 of the Real Housewives of Orange County season 19 reunion. (30:35)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We Need to Talk About Todd (RHOSLC S6 E8 and RHOP S10 E5 Recaps)

Wed, 05 Nov 2025 13:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "We Need to Talk About Todd" - we discuss our thoughts on the Vanderpump Rules season 12 trailer, the RHOBH trailer, Brittany Cartwright's Victorian vampire party, and JT Thomas getting the hell out of the county. (00:00 - 35:25)

We then quickly discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac - season 10, episode 5 - "Alexander Hamilton's House". (35:25)

And finally, we recap this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 6, episode 8 - "Making Out and F***ing". (54:40)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Did Dayna Kathan Make Out With Peter Madrigal in a Toilet?

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 16:51:07 -0000

In this teaser from our Patreon recap of the Season 8 premiere of Vanderpump Rules, we discuss whether or not Dayna Kathan and Peter Madrigal made out in the bathroom at the Mondrian.

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Gretchen's Last Supper (RHOC S19 Finale Recap)

Fri, 31 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time -"Gretchen's Last Supper" - we start by talking about Tom Schwartz' huge kickflip outside of TomTom, the RHOC reunion trailer, Andy Cohen's Call Her Daddy interview (00:00 - 18:00) and Melissa Gorga's episode of Wife Swap: Real Housewives Edition (18:10)

We then discuss this week's revelatory episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County (season 19 finale) - "Tamra's Grudge". (26:10)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Amy and Riley Discuss 'Joy Ride', 'Magnolia', and 'Eyes Wide Shut'

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley talk about various films for 7 minutes!

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Conwyn Fraudport (RHOSLC S6 E7 and RHOP S10 E4 Recaps)

Wed, 29 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Conwyn Fraudport" - we talk about Mike Shay DJ'ing Tamra Judge's RHOC reunion party, the RHOC reunion outfits, and the RHONY reunion at Andy Cohen's 10-year Radio Andy anniversary. (00:00 - 15:00)

We then discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac - season 10, episode 4 - "The Empty Card". (15:00)

And finally, we recap this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 6, episode 7 - "The Source of All the Dirt". (46:54)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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While the Wife is Away, Angie K Will Play (Wife Swap and RHOC S19 E16 Recaps)

Fri, 24 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time -"While the Wife is Away, Angie K will Play" - we start by discussing Ken Burns again, then Sean Penn again, and then Charlie Sheen. (00:00 - 27:00) And after all of that we give our thoughts on the first episode of Wife Swap: The Real Housewives Edition starring Angie K. (27:50)

We then discuss this week's insufferable episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County (season 19, episode 16) - "Only One More After This". (42:40)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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No Soup For Us (RHOSLC S6 E6 and RHOP S10 E3 Recaps)

Wed, 22 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "No Soup For Us" - we talk about Mr. Scorsese, the new documentary on Martin Scorsese, Richard Linklater's upcoming double feature, Next Gen NYC season 2 filming, and Heather Gay's new show, Surviving Mormonism. (00:00 - 37:00)

We then briefly discuss this week's awful episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac - season 10, episode 3 - "Checking In Again on The Chin Check". (37:00)

And finally, we recap this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 6, episode 6 - "So Long, Soup Man". (57:25)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Scheana Shay Gives Adam a Penguin

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 16:04:33 -0000

In this teaser from our Patreon recap of the Season 7 finale of Vanderpump Rules, we discuss Scheana Shay adopting Adam Spott a penguin but never giving it to him.

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O.C., The McBee's, and Marysol's Knees (RHOM S7 Reunion Pt. 3 and RHOC S19 E15 Recaps)

Fri, 17 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "O.C., The McBee's, and Marysol's Knees" - we start by discussing Steve McBee Sr.'s sentencing to prison for two years, McBee Dynasty getting renewed for Season 3, and the US Weekly cover dedicated to RHOSLC. (00:00 - 24:50)

We then discuss this week's horrendous episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County (season 19, episode 15) - "Shannon Eats a Weed Muffin". (24:50)

And finally, we say goodbye to this season of RHOM, by recapping the final part of the Real Housewives of Miami season 7 reunion, and give out our first letter grade for the entire season. (53:50)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Soup Man Cometh (RHOSLC S6 E5 and RHOP S10 E2 Recaps)

Wed, 15 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "The Soup Man Cometh" - we talk about Dr. Wendy Osefo and Happy Eddie being booked on felony fraud charges, Ariana Biermann and Hudson McLeroy breaking up, and the viral disinfectant ad that's "cleaning up" against the competition. (00:00 - 24:15)

We then discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac - "It Was Mint To Be". (24:15)

And finally, we recap this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 6, episode 5 - "The Gift Horse ". (51:45)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Brittany Cartwright Marries the Beast

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 22:45:21 -0000

On this week's Vanderpump Rules recap of the episode, "Brittany and the Beast" (Season 7, Episode 20), we discuss Brittany Cartwright's fascination with "Beauty and the Beast" and how it applies to her and Jax's relationship.

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The Tale of Julia and the Haitian Mortician (RHOM S7 Reunion Pt. 2 and RHOC S19 E14 Recaps)

Fri, 10 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "The Tale of Julia and the Haitian Mortician" - we start by discussing Hilaria Baldwin's elimination on Dancing with the Stars after her enchanting dance to the Star Wars Cantina Theme Song, and then we break down the Southern Charm season 11 trailer. (00:00 - 18:30)

We then recap the second part of the Real Housewives of Miami season 7 reunion - "Adriana's Heart". (18:30)

And finally, we discuss this week's dreadful episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County (season 19, episode 14) - "Hoedown Showdown". (51:20)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Muzzy Dearest (RHOSLC S6 E4 and RHOP S10 E1 Recaps)

Wed, 08 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Muzzy Dearest" - we talk about Brittany Cartwright possibly getting surgery to remove her implants, Johnny J and Alexis Bellino getting married, Southern Charm coming back for season 11, and the latest in the Scheana Shay / Lala Kent war. (00:00 - 24:10)

We then discuss the season 10 premiere of the Real Housewives of Potomac - "The Second Blooming of Ashley Darby". (24:10)

And finally, we discuss this week's wonderful episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 6, episode 4 - "Shiny Pretty Hair". (51:45)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Basquiat's Godmother (RHOC S19 E13 and RHOM S7 Reunion Pt. 1 Recap)

Fri, 03 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Basquiat's Godmother" - we start by discussing Hilaria Baldwin's performance on Dancing with the Stars, Taylor Swift's potential lyrical feud with Charlie XCX, and the ongoing rivalry between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj. (00:00 - 14:15)

We then discuss this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County (season 19, episode 12) - "Let Them Make Cake". (14:15)

And finally, we recap the first part of the Real Housewives of Miami season 7 reunion - "What Happened in the Hamptons". (1:00:00)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Lisa Barlow's Fanciful Tale (RHOSLC S6 E3 Recap)

Wed, 01 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Lisa Barlow's Fanciful Tale" - we talk about Brittany Cartwright biting the dust on World's Toughest Test, Shep Rose's fun birthday, Scarlett Johansson's career in the entertainment industry, the BravoCon 2025 schedule, and the RHOSLC season 6 taglines! (37:45)

We then discuss this week's powerful episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 6, episode 3 - "Lisa's Clarity Lunch". (37:45)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Billie Lee Vs. Lisa Vanderpump

Tue, 30 Sep 2025 15:02:09 -0000

On this week's Vanderpump Rules recap of the episode, "End of an Era" (Season 7, Episode 18), we discuss Billie Lee breaking Lisa Vanderpump's rules.

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Tamra's One Hit Wonder (RHOC S19 E12 and RHOM S7 E17 Recap)

Fri, 26 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Tamra's One Hit Wonder" - we discuss Hilaria Baldwin's dancing, Dorit Kemsley's new memoir cover, and so much other news. (00:00 - 20:40)

We then discuss this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County (season 19, episode 12) - "In Gretchen's Defense". (20:40)

And finally, we recap this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Miami (season 7, episode 17) - "I Love My Dog". (01:02:10)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Bout About Gout (RHOSLC S6 E2 Recap)

Wed, 24 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "The Bout About Gout" - we talk about Hilaria Baldwin's wonderful DWTS performance as well as the trailer for World's Toughest Test featuring Brittany Cartwright and Teresa Giudice. We also talk about the unverified rumor that Scheana Shay is banned from The Valley season 3. (21:25)

We then discuss this week's wonderful episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 6, episode 2 - "The King's Disease". (21:25)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Slade Smiley Archive (RHOC S19 E11 and RHOM S7 E16 Recap)

Fri, 19 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "The Slade Smiley Archive" - we start with the news that Summer House is getting a New York City-centric spin-off and then talk about other really pressing Bravo news. (00:00 - 29:45)

We then discuss this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County (season 19, episode 11) - "Shannonigans". (29:45)

And finally, we recap this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Miami (season 7, episode 16) - "32 x 2 - 5 = A Bad Birthday Cake". (01:01:30)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Legend of Provo Canyon (RHOSLC S6 E1 Recap)

Wed, 17 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "The Legend of Provo Canyon" - Amy regales Riley with the tale of her going to Wolf By Vanderpump in Lake Tahoe, and then we talk about Wife Swap: Real Housewives Edition, as well as the latest RHONY casting news. (36:10)

We then discuss the beguiling premiere of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 6, episode 1 - "The Lack of Lisa". (36:10)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Brittany Cartwright's Nightmarish Fear of Heights

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 18:53:43 -0000

On a trip to Mexico, Brittany Cartwright discusses her deep fear of heights due to her recurring Santa nightmare.

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Lest Ye Be Tamra Judged (RHOC S19 E10 and RHOM S7 E15 Recap)

Fri, 12 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Lest Ye Be Tamra Judged" - we start by discussing the war between Katie Maloney and Scheana Shay, the one favor Kyle Richards' couldn't refuse on the day of her daughter's wedding, and Kathy Hilton's huge yard sale. (14:50)

We then discuss this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County (season 19, episode 10) - "Tamra and Shannon and Jenn, Yet Again". (14:50)

And finally, we recap this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Miami (season 7, episode 15) - "The Scarlett Dinner". (39:15)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Turtle Time Trip: Amy and Riley Go To Tequila (RHONY S9 E16-18 Recap)

Wed, 10 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On this special episode of Turtle Time Trip, Amy and Riley recap RHONY's iconic Tequila trip. If you want to join us on this journey, the RHONY Tequila trip is featured on RHONY season 9 from episodes 16 - 18. We hope this discussion will have you feeling like you just drank tequila out of a beautiful horn.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

RIVERSIDE AI SUMMARY:

In this episode, Riley and Amy dive deep into the vibrant and chaotic world of The Real Housewives of New York's Season 9 trip to Mexico. They explore the high expectations surrounding the tequila tour, the drunken antics of the cast, and the underlying dynamics of friendship and rivalry that unfold throughout the trip. From room assignments to dinner drama, the conversation captures the essence of reality TV chaos, highlighting memorable moments and quotes that define the season. In this episode, the hosts dive into the latest drama from the Real Housewives of New York, focusing on the tensions between Sonya and Tinsley, the emotional moments between Bethany and Ramona, and the hilarious antics during their tequila tasting trip. They explore the dynamics of friendship, jealousy, and the pressures of fame, all while sharing laughs over memorable quotes and moments from the series.

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Richard Branson's Kingdom (RHOC S19 E9 and RHOM S7 E14 Recap)

Fri, 05 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Richard Branson's Kingdom" - we start by honoring Giorgio Armani and then we discuss the recent SNL cast shake-up and what a hard time Lorne Michaels must be having finding talent. We also discuss Bethenny Frankel dating the person Jennifer Aniston is dating, and Meghan O'Toole King (Edmunds) breaking into her ex-husband's house. (19:20)

We then discuss this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County (season 19, episode 9) - "Not Tonight". (19:20)

And finally, we discuss this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Miami (season 7, episode 14) - "The Resilient Lady". (01:10:20)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

RIVERSIDE AI SUMMARY:

In this episode of Turtle Time, hosts Amy and Riley open with a tribute to the legendary Giorgio Armani, reflecting on his influence and sharing personal anecdotes about his impact on their fashion choices. The conversation then shifts to the Real Housewives universe, where they delve into the latest drama involving cast members like Gretchen Rossi and Tamra Judge. They discuss the fallout from a lie detector test that has stirred controversy among the cast, exploring how it has affected relationships and alliances. Amy and Riley also touch on the dynamics between Katie and Kiki, analyzing the gossip and rumors that have surfaced. The episode is peppered with humor as they address a one-star review, showcasing their ability to handle criticism with grace and wit. Throughout, they provide a candid and entertaining look at the world of reality TV, offering insights that keep listeners engaged and eager for more. Tune in for a deep dive into fashion, reality TV drama, and the art of handling feedback with style!

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Patreon Teaser: Tom Sandoval Vs. Katie Maloney

Thu, 04 Sep 2025 17:32:59 -0000

On this week's Vanderpump Rules recap of the episode, "Tom Vs. Tom" (Season 7, Episode 14), we discuss Tom Sandoval's proclivity to be a champion of the underdog and how it leads to his first major fight with Katie Maloney.

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And Baby McBee Makes Three (The McBee Dynasty S2 E10 Recap)

Wed, 03 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "And Baby McBee Makes Three" - we start by discussing Carole Radziwill walking with Harry Styles at a wedding as well as Scheana Shay most likely becoming a full-time cast member on season 3 of The Valley, and then we congratulate Karen Huger on getting out of prison after 6 months. (00:00 - 20:20)

We then provide exclusive, award-winning coverage of the season 2 finale of The McBee Dynasty - "Do You Take Thee to Be Your McBee?" (20:25)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The One With the Lie Detector Test (RHOC S19 E8 and RHOM S7 E12 + 13 Recap)

Fri, 29 Aug 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "The One With the Lie Detector Test" - we start by discussing the Real Housewives of Potomac season 10 trailer and Carl Radke soft launching Soft Bar. (00:00 - 38:10)

We then discuss this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County (season 19, episode 8) - "The Act of Lying". (38:10)

And finally, we discuss the latest TWO episodes of The Real Housewives of Miami (season 7, episode 12 and episode 13) - "They're Still in Seville". (01:21:00)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Rules for Thee, but Not for McBee (The McBee Dynasty S2 Discussion)

Wed, 27 Aug 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Rules for Thee, but Not for McBee" - we first discuss Taylor Swift potentially being engaged, Karen Huger being released from jail in September, the Vanderpump Villa season 3 teaser, and Bethenny Frankel finally ranking Trader Joe's chicken salad. (00:00 - 33:00)

We then provide exclusive, exhaustive coverage of the second season of The McBee Dynasty and what the projections look like for this year's soybean yield. (33:00)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix Plan for the Future

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 17:06:42 -0000

On today's Vanderpump Rules recap of the episode "Reptilian Brain", we discuss Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix's plan for possibly having a child in the future.

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You, Me, and the Cast of the O.C. (RHOC S19 E7 Recap)

Fri, 22 Aug 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "You, Me, and the Cast of the O.C." - we start by discussing Tom Sandoval blowing it completely on America's Got Talent, the sneaker phenomenon that took over films for a period of time, Hilaria Baldwin's new hit podcast with her daughter, Paige DeSorbo's cameo on The Devil Keeps Wearing Prada, and much more. (27:50)

We then discuss this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County (season 19, episode 7) - "Tamra Tells the Truth". (27:50)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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You, Me, and McBee (The McBee Dynasty Discussion)

Wed, 20 Aug 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley talk about some hard-hitting news (Todd Nepola stuff) and then provide exclusive coverage of the first season of The McBee Dynasty. (21:30)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Sly Cosmopoulos Tests Out the TomTom Cocktails

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 16:31:26 -0000

We finally get introduced to Aspen Wine and Beer's very own, Sly Cosmopoulos, who revitalizes the TomTom cocktail menu.

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The Last Amiga (RHOC S19 E6 and RHOM S7 E10 Recap)

Fri, 15 Aug 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "The Last Amiga" - we start by discussing Tom Sandoval and Jax Taylor going to see Freakier Friday in theaters and then we break down the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 6 trailer. (24:25)

We then discuss this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County (season 19, episode 6) - "Bloody Mary". (24:25)

And finally, we discuss the latest TWO episodes of The Real Housewives of Miami (season 7, episode 10 and episode 11) - "The Thrill of Seville". (55:45)

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The Lonesome Valley (The Valley Season 2 Part 3 Recap)

Wed, 13 Aug 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "The Lonesome Valley" - we start with a huge congratulations to Josh Flagg for selling Heather Dubrow's piece of shit house, and then we discuss Shep Rose seeing Andy Cohen in The Hamptons, as well as some other movie stuff. (00:00 - 19:25)

We then dive in to Part 3 of The Valley season 2 reunion. (19:25)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: The Debut of Dayna Kathan

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 17:41:25 -0000

We discuss the first appearance of Dayna Kathan on Vanderpump Rules. This episode also includes Riley revealing the truth about the rumors that he and his wife are the masked, anonymous creators behind the #Justice4Jax account.

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Stephanie's Golden Ticket (RHOC S19 E5 and RHOM S7 E9 Recap)

Fri, 08 Aug 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Stephanie's Golden Ticket" - we discuss more news than you could ever imagine. We talk about Todd Chrisley on Kandi Burress' podcast, My Name is Kandi, the RHOM reunion seating chart, RHOBH filming in The Hamptons, Brittany Cartwright on World's Toughest Test, and about three other news stories. (28:30)

We then discuss this week's episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County (season 19, episode 5) - "The Haunted Dinner from Hell". (28:30)

And finally, we discuss the latest episode of The Real Housewives of Miami (season 7, episode 9) - "The Last Seat on the Private Jet". (1:00:10)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The House That Hooters Built (The Valley S2 Reunion Part 2 Recap)

Wed, 06 Aug 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Now that's what we call news! We start this episode by talking about Scheana Shay's Shien takeover that made the front page of The Shien-Na Newspaper, Carole Radziwill on Watch What Happens Live, and Dorit's upcoming memoir, tentatively titled, Meet Dorit. (00:00 - 24:10)

And then after discussing all of the news that was fit to print, we dive in to Part 2 of The Valley season 2 reunion. (24:10)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: James Kennedy Taking His First Steps at Tiffany’s

Mon, 04 Aug 2025 18:03:45 -0000

What we talk about when we talk about James Kennedy taking his first steps at Tiffany's.

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Don’t Tell It to the Judge (RHOC S19 E4 and RHOM S7 E8 Recap)

Fri, 01 Aug 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Don’t Tell It to the Judge" - we discuss more news than you could ever imagine. We talk about the potential Next Gen LA cast, Jax Taylor trying out a new pair of Toto's at The Valley reunion, and Scheana Shay being a New York Times bestselling author. 🗡️(25:30)

We then discuss this week's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County (season 19, episode 4) - "The Rose Canyon Cantina Confrontation". (25:30)

And finally, we briefly discuss the latest episode Real Housewives of Miami (season 7, episode 8) - "James Bonding". (1:00:25)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

RIVERSIDE AI SUMMARY:

In this episode, Riley Hamilton and Amy Scarlata discuss various topics related to reality TV, including the rise of Toto shoes that provide height boosts, Sheana's recent achievement of becoming a New York Times bestselling author, and the uncertain future of Vanderpump Rules without Jax. They also critique the current direction of Bravo podcasts, speculate on the potential of a Next Gen Bravo series, and review a lackluster episode of Orange County, highlighting the dynamics between cast members and the impact of bloggers on the narrative. In this conversation, Riley Hamilton and Amy Scarlata delve into the complexities of reality TV, particularly focusing on the dynamics within 'The Real Housewives' franchises. They discuss the evolution of the shows, the impact of blogging on cast relationships, and the challenges faced by current cast members in maintaining engaging storylines. The conversation also touches on the need for fresh faces in the cast and the importance of personal dynamics over manufactured conflict. They reflect on specific episodes from both 'The Real Housewives of Orange County' and 'The Real Housewives of Miami', highlighting key moments and character interactions that shape the narrative.

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How Brittany Lost Her Sparkle (The Valley S2 Reunion Part 1 Recap)

Wed, 30 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Cupid must be going around the world shooting his arrow at celebrities because a lot of celebrity couples were just announced - Ana De Armas and Tom Cruise, Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry, and a few others. (00:00 - 12:40)

After discussing Cupid's reign, we then dive in to Part 1 of The Valley season 2 reunion. (12:40)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Brock Davies' Cheating Apology to Scheana Shay

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 20:05:58 -0000

Amy and Riley share their thoughts on Brock Davies' statement about cheating on Scheana, and are saddened by how shitty it was.

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The Most Evil Person Shannon Has Ever Met (RHOC S19 E3 and RHOM S7 E7 Recap)

Fri, 25 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "The Most Evil Person Shannon Has Ever Met" - we discuss more news than you could ever imagine. We talk about the latest revelations from Scheana Shay's memoir, My Good Side, Lisa Vanderpump's tribute to Ozzy Osbourne, and Michelle and Aaron from The Valley breaking up. (26:35)

We then discuss this week's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County (season 19, episode 3) - "A Birthday for Dubrow". (26:35)

And finally, we briefly discuss the latest episode Real Housewives of Miami (season 7, episode 7) - "The Julia Texts". (1:15:55)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

Turtle Time Takeaways (Powered by Riverside AI)

Wolf Blitzer's envy of Bravo news coverage is humorous.
The split between Michelle and Aaron is shocking and significant.
Reality TV relationships often have unexpected fallout.
Lisa Vanderpump's candidness with paparazzi reveals her priorities.
Sheena's memoir offers surprising insights into her life.
The iCloud has complicated personal relationships for many.
Sheena's past experiences with lawsuits are eye-opening.
The dynamics of friendship in reality TV can be complex.
The Real Housewives of Orange County episode had unexpected drama.
Taglines in reality shows can reflect deeper truths about the cast. January birthdays spark lively discussions among listeners.
Recording conversations is a major breach of trust in the housewives' world.
Katie's strategic mistakes lead to her downfall.
Jen's emotional outburst reveals her struggles with bullying.
Tamra's villainous reputation continues to polarize fans.
Bowling night showcases relationship dynamics among cast members.
Dawson's decision to join the Marines raises questions about financial realities.
The Gatsby-themed party sets a new standard for extravagance.
The narcissist party highlights Todd's controversial influence.
Miami's recent episodes reveal a need for fresh storylines.

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From a Party of Zen to the Next Gen (The Valley S2 E15 and Next Gen NYC S1 E8 Recaps)

Wed, 23 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0000

We unconventionally decide to start with news this week by discussing Teddi Mellencamp almost having her house burgled, Eddington, and Luke Broderick on the Nick Viall podcast. (00:00 - 16:05)

We then dive in to the season 2 finale of The Valley (season 2 episode 15) - "Thy First Stone". (16:05)

And then discuss the season 1 finale of Next Gen NYC (season 1 episode 8) - "The End of Omar and Georgia". (1:12:14)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Nick Alain Reveals His True Spirit

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 17:53:07 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss Nick Alain letting his mask drop to reveal a more Slugworth-oriented demeanor. But is he more like Slugworth acting on behalf of Willy Wonka or Nikola Tesla from The Prestige?

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TAMRA SOS (RHOC S19 E2 and RHOM S7 E6 Recap)

Fri, 18 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "TAMRA SOS" - we talk about Jax Taylor not returning for season 3 of The Valley and what that means for the future of the series, and the bombshell revelations from Scheana Shay's US Weekly interview. (33:30)

We then discuss this week's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County (season 19, episode 2) - "Gretchen Revisited". (33:30)

And finally, we briefly about the latest episode Real Housewives of Miami (season 7, episode 6) - "Larsa + Lisa Forever". (1:15:45)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

RIVERSIDE AI SUMMARY:

In this episode, Riley Hamilton and Amy Scarlata discuss the latest developments in the world of reality TV, focusing on Vanderpump Rules and the return of Gretchen to the Real Housewives of Orange County. They delve into Jax Taylor's departure from Vanderpump Rules, the implications for the show's future, and Scheana's revelations about behind-the-scenes dynamics. The conversation also touches on Katie's controversial actions and the challenges she faces in her role on OC. This conversation delves into the complexities of reality TV, focusing on character development, the dynamics of conflict and resolution, and the impact of personal relationships. The speakers explore how past traumas influence present behavior, the role of public perception, and the significance of accountability in friendships. They also discuss the importance of humor in navigating conflicts and the ongoing journey of self-discovery for the cast members. Overall, the conversation highlights the intricate interplay between personal lives and the public personas of reality TV stars.

RIVERSIDE AI TAKEAWAYS:

Baby Four Seasons is living a luxurious life.
Jax Taylor's exit is framed as a focus on mental health.
The impact of Jax's departure raises questions about the show's future.
Sheena's revelations provide insight into Vanderpump Rules' production.
Gretchen's return to OC brings nostalgia and conflict.
Katie's actions on OC are seen as desperate and poorly strategized.
The dynamics of reality TV cast relationships are complex.
The importance of mental health in reality TV is highlighted.
The reunion for Vanderpump Rules will be unprecedented due to timing.

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The Custody of Cruz (The Valley S2 E14 and Next Gen NYC S1 E7 Recaps)

Wed, 16 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0000

We unconventionally decide to start with news this week by discussing Sarah Jessica Parker on WWHL, Matthew Broderick's roots in Ireland, the Real Housewives of London trailer, Paige DeSorbo dating that same guy, Social Network 2, Ari Aster's next film, Eddington, and ever more than that. (00:00 - 26:36)

We then dive in to this week's episode of The Valley (season 2 episode 14) - "New Rings". (26:36)

We then discuss this week's episode of Next Gen NYC (season 1 episode 7) - "Georgia's New Bowling Alley Club". (1:20:40)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Lisa Vanderpump Loses Her Love for Jax Taylor

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 16:00:34 -0000

When did Lisa Vanderpump lose all of her love for Jax Taylor? An excerpt from our recap of Girls' Night In (Vanderpump Rules S7 E7).

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There’s the Golden Door, Shannon Beador (RHOC S19 E1 Recap)

Fri, 11 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On today's episode of Turtle Time - "There's the Golden Door, Shannon Beador" - we reckon with the horrible, earth-shattering news that Brock Davies cheated on Scheana Shay while she was pregnant with their daughter. (20:27)

We then discuss the season 19 premiere of Real Housewives of Orange County - "Heather and Terry's Shitty House". (20:27)

And finally, we talk about the dispiriting, lackluster episode of Real Housewives of Miami - "The Calm After the Storm". (1:06:55)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Kristen Doute and a Fan (The Valley S2 E13 Recap)

Wed, 09 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Now there's almost too much news! We cover Erika Jayne dating Shrek (No - not the one you're thinking of), Denise Richards and Aaron Phypers getting divorced, and a little recap of Real Housewives of Atlanta. (00:00 - 24:15)

We then give our full unvarnished thoughts on Bravo's newest gem, Next Gen NYC. (24:15)

And then dive in to this week's explosive episode of The Valley (season 2 episode 13) - "Kristen Doute and a Fan". (44:35)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

RIVERSIDE AI SUMMARY:

In this episode, the hosts discuss various topics in the reality TV world, including Erika Jayne's new romance with John McPhee, the food situation at BravoCon, the prevalence of fake news in the industry, and the legal troubles surrounding the Chrisleys and Juicy Joe. They also touch on Denise Richards' split from Aaron Fipers, Phaedra Parks' return to Atlanta, and the exciting new series Next Gen NYC. The conversation wraps up with a recap of the latest drama on The Valley's cruise ship, highlighting the evolving dynamics among the cast members. In this episode, the conversation revolves around the dynamics of friendships and tensions during an engagement dinner, highlighting the drama between cast members, particularly focusing on Janet's controversial comments and the fallout from accusations made during the event. The discussion also touches on the awkwardness of shared living spaces and the complexities of relationships within the group, culminating in confrontations that reveal deeper issues among the friends.

RIVERSIDE AI TAKEAWAYS:

Erika Jayne is dating John McPhee, nicknamed Shrek.
The food at BravoCon has been a topic of discussion.
Fake news is rampant in the reality TV world.
The Chrisleys are facing legal issues, while Juicy Joe wants to return to the U.S.
Denise Richards and Aaron Fipers have split due to irreconcilable differences.
Phaedra Parks is making a notable return to Atlanta.
Next Gen NYC is a fresh take on reality TV with a young cast.
The Valley's cruise ship drama is heating up with intense confrontations.
The dynamics between cast members are evolving in Next Gen NYC.
The conversation highlights the importance of reliable news sources. The engagement dinner was overshadowed by tensions among friends.
Brittany's threat to leave highlighted her frustrations with the group.
The awkwardness of shared living spaces added to the drama.
Kristen's engagement ring reveal sparked mixed reactions.
Janet's comments about Danny and Nia escalated tensions significantly.
Jax's gossiping habits continue to create rifts in relationships.
The group dynamics are complicated by past grievances and loyalties.
Kristen's anger towards Janet's comments was palpable.
The episode showcased the challenges of navigating friendships in a reality TV setting.
The fallout from accusations made during the dinner will likely have lasting effects.

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A Portrait of Lisa Hochstein in Mourning (RHOM S7 E4 Recap)

Fri, 04 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0000

It's the 4th of July and it's also Miami Time again! Amy and Riley discuss all the news that's fit to print including Tom Cruise's birthday yesterday, Madison LeCroy having a baby, Scheana Shay's memoir excerpt about her affair with Eddie Cibrian, and Janet Caperna receiving death threats from deranged Bravo fans. (22:05)

We then discuss this week's decent episode of Real Housewives of Miami - "Julia and Martina's Baby Shower". (22:05)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

RIVERSIDE AI SUMMARY:

In this episode, Riley Hamilton and Amy Scarlata discuss a variety of topics, starting with Tom Cruise's birthday and a humorous anecdote about a clown. They celebrate the arrival of a new baby in the Bravo universe and delve into Sheena Shay's memoir, which reveals scandalous details about her past. The conversation shifts to the darker side of reality TV, focusing on the online hate faced by stars. They then recap the latest Miami episode, introducing new cast member Stephanie and discussing Gertie's Halloween spirit and family dynamics. Julia's journey into opera singing is highlighted as a form of emotional growth, culminating in a discussion about the dynamics within the cast and their interactions. In this episode, the hosts discuss the latest drama from the Housewives series, focusing on emotional moments, cultural differences, and the dynamics between new and returning cast members. Key themes include the impact of personal struggles on relationships, the absurdity of reality TV games, and the tension that arises during social gatherings. The conversation highlights memorable quotes and moments that encapsulate the essence of the show, providing insights into the characters' lives and interactions.

RIVERSIDE AI TAKEAWAYS:

Tom Cruise celebrated his 63rd birthday with a challenge.
The story of Pagliacci reflects on the nature of happiness.
Madison from Southern Charm welcomed a new baby.
Sheena Shay's memoir reveals her past relationships.
Online hate towards reality stars is a serious issue.
Miami's Halloween episode introduced new dynamics.
Julia's opera journey symbolizes personal growth.
Gertie's Halloween decorations reflect her personality.
Stephanie's introduction brings fresh energy to Miami.
Cultural differences can create misunderstandings in social situations.
Emotional struggles can deeply affect interpersonal relationships.
New cast members bring fresh dynamics to established groups.
Family matters often intersect with personal drama in reality TV.
Accusations and gossip are central to the narrative of the show.
The significance of events like baby showers can be overshadowed by conflict.
Humor can arise from the most serious situations in reality TV.
The portrayal of personal loss can evoke strong reactions from viewers.
Friendship dynamics are constantly evolving in the Housewives universe.

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Patreon Teaser: Randall Emmett and Lala Kent's Sexual Chemistry

Thu, 03 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley talk about Lala Kent and Randall Emmett's sexual chemistry.

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The Catch of a Lifetime (The Valley S2 E12 Recap)

Wed, 02 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0000

We feel like Frank Sinatra because we're spreading the news on today's episode! We cover Charlize Theron going to Jax's Studio City and then two other major news stories. (00:00 - 25:00)

We then discuss this week's wonderful episode of The Valley (season 2 episode 12) - "Out of All the Fish in the Sea, Doute is the One For Me" - in which Kristen Doute and Luke Broderick get engaged. (25:00)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

RIVERSIDE AI SUMMARY:

In this lively conversation, hosts Riley Hamilton and Amy Scarlata discuss various topics ranging from Charlize Theron's recent visit to a Studio City bar, Kyle Chan's rise to fame, and the potential casting of Tom Holland as the next James Bond. They also delve into Denis Villeneuve's directorial style, Lisa Vanderpump's new restaurant ventures, and updates on the upcoming season of Summerhouse. The episode wraps up with a recap of the latest episode of The Valley, highlighting key moments and character dynamics. In this episode, the hosts delve into the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on the dynamics of attraction after breakups, the emotional turmoil surrounding proposals, and the editing choices that shape viewers' perceptions. They discuss the fallout from a dramatic wasabi meltdown, the intricacies of respect in relationships, and the reactions to a heartfelt engagement. The conversation highlights the challenges and triumphs of navigating love and friendship in a reality TV context, culminating in a proposal that brings both joy and tension among the cast members.

RIVERSIDE AI TAKEAWAYS:

Charlize Theron had an interesting experience at a Studio City bar.
Kyle Chan is gaining recognition in Hollywood.
Tom Holland is rumored to be considered for James Bond.
Denis Villeneuve's films often lack emotional depth.
Lisa Vanderpump continues to expand her restaurant empire.
Summer House is gearing up for its new season.
Kristen's engagement was a significant moment in The Valley.
Janet's behavior is causing tension among cast members.
Jesse confronts Aaron about his past with Michelle.
The Valley episode showcased strong character dynamics. Attraction can complicate relationships after breakups.
Respect is essential for healthy relationship dynamics.
Emotional moments can be overshadowed by editing choices.
Proposals can evoke a mix of joy and tension.
Navigating friendships during engagements can be tricky.
The impact of past relationships lingers in new dynamics.
Communication is key to resolving conflicts.
Reality TV often amplifies emotional experiences.
Engagements can bring out both support and jealousy.
The journey of love is filled with ups and downs.

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So Help Me Todd (RHOM S7 E2 + E3 Recap)

Fri, 27 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0000

It's Miami Time! Amy and Riley discuss barely any news at all - just Craig Conover showing off a ring, and Stassi talking to Katie and Dayna on their Disrespectfully podcast. (18:15)

We then discuss last week's episode of Real Housewives of Miami - "Miami in Milan" (18:15) and then talk frankly about this week's horrendous episode - "Worst Wedding Ever". (57:00)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Legend of Frank Dremon (The Valley S2 E10 + 11 Recap)

Wed, 25 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley feel like they're Wolf Blitzer and Pamela Brown in the Situation Room with all of the latest Bravo news they cover including West Wilson and Lindsay Hubbard teaming up for a mayonnaise ad, and the sad news about Dermot Mulroney divorcing his wife of 15 years. (00:00 - 22:10)

We then discuss last week's episode of The Valley (season 2, episode 10) - "You've Been Served" (22:10) as well as this week's episode (season 2, episode 11) "El Coyote Ugly". (1:11:55)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

RIVERSIDE AI SUMMARY:

This conversation dives into various topics surrounding reality TV, including a humorous debate about mayonnaise brands, the creative execution of ad campaigns, and the public's reaction to Tom Sandoval's performance. The hosts also discuss the controversies surrounding Love Island, notable appearances by reality stars, and the current state of reality TV news. They explore creative ideas for new shows, the future of SNL, and provide a recap of Jax's tumultuous journey in The Valley, touching on parenting challenges and interpersonal dynamics among cast members. In this episode of The Valley, the dynamics of friendships and relationships are explored as Jax departs from a party, leading to mixed emotions among the group. Jax's moving day reveals the support of friends like Schwartz, while Brittany's secret Instagram account adds a humorous twist. The planning of a Hawaii trip sets the stage for future confrontations, particularly Jesse's impending confrontation with Aaron regarding infidelity. Jax's divorce papers and reflections on his marriage highlight his struggles, culminating in a dramatic setup for the upcoming episodes.

RIVERSIDE AI TAKEAWAYS:

Kraft mayonnaise is underrated.
The ad campaign for Hellman's was creatively executed.
Tom Sandoval's performance is polarizing.
Love Island cast faces severe online backlash.
Paige Disorbo's appearance on Love Island was notable.
Dermot Mulroney's divorce news shocked fans.
Reality TV news has been quieter lately.
Creative ideas for a new show were discussed.
John Mulaney is a strong candidate for SNL host.
Jax's journey in The Valley is tumultuous. Jax's departure from the party brings mixed feelings.
Brittany's support for Jax shows the complexity of their relationship.
Schwartz's loyalty to friends is commendable.
Jax's moving day reveals the strength of friendships.
Brittany's secret Instagram account adds humor to the drama.
The planning of the Hawaii trip creates anticipation for future episodes.
Jesse's confrontation with Aaron is a pivotal moment.
Jax's reflections on his marriage reveal his inner turmoil.
The dynamics of the group continue to evolve with each episode.
The anticipation for future episodes builds as tensions rise.

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Unlocking the Gates: Watch Your Back (Vanderpump Rules S6 E14 Recap)

Fri, 20 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0000

For the second time ever, Amy and Riley unlock the gates of Villa Rosa to provide the Little Turtle Cutie community with this free, full-length episode from our Patreon. Sit back and enjoy the life of a Villa Rosa VIP as we recap Vanderpump Rules season 6, episode 14 - "Watch Your Back".

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Turtle Time Trip: Amy and Riley Go To Morocco (RHONY S4 E8-10 Recap)

Wed, 18 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0000

On this special episode of Turtle Time Trip, Amy and Riley recap RHONY's iconic Morocco trip. If you want to join us on this journey, the Morocco trip is featured on RHONY season 4 from episodes 8 - 10. We hope this discussion will have you clomping down the stairs like a buffalo in delight.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Old Hollywood and the Mamaw's Beer Cheese Business

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0000

When Stassi and her friends have an Old Hollywood party at Mama Lion's, Amy and Riley reminisce on Old Hollywood and then take a "dip" into talking about Mamaw's Beer Cheese becoming a business.

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Amy and Riley in Lisa Land (RHOM S7 E1 Recap)

Fri, 13 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0000

It's Miami Time! Amy and Riley discuss barely any news at all and then get right into a full-blown conversation about the legacy of Real Housewives of Miami up to this point.

And then they keep running with that Miami energy and recap the delightful season 7 premiere - "MIA Back in Action".

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Jax's Little Jean Jacket (The Valley S2 E9 Recap)

Wed, 11 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley feel like they're Wolf Blitzer and Pamela Brown in the Situation Room with all of the latest Bravo news they cover including Lexi Wood leaving Summer House, the RHOC trailer, Rachel Zoe joining RHOBH, and Brit Eady suing Bravo for 20 million dollars. As well as the latest hair color for Julie Chrisley. (00:00 - 35:55)

We then discuss the latest episode of The Valley (season 2, episode 9) - "When One Door Forecloses". (35:55)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

RIVERSIDE AI SUMMARY:

In this episode, hosts Riley Hamilton and Amy Scarlata discuss the latest happenings in the world of reality TV, focusing on the Chrisleys' new looks, Rachel Zoe's casting in Beverly Hills, and the departure of Lexi Wood from Summer House. They also delve into Britt's defamation lawsuit against Bravo and the implications of gossip in reality television. In this segment of the conversation, the hosts discuss various themes surrounding reality TV, particularly focusing on the dynamics of cast relationships, the impact of online rumors, and the anticipation of new seasons. They delve into the Orange County trailer, expressing mixed feelings about the cast turnover and the potential for drama. The conversation shifts to the fallout from Jax and Brittany's relationship, highlighting the challenges faced by the cast. The hosts also touch on a housewarming party that introduces new dynamics and characters, culminating in a discussion about Jenna's role and the complexities of relationships within the group. In this segment, the conversation delves into the complexities of Jax's behavior, Brittany's emotional journey, and the dynamics of friendship amidst turmoil. The hosts discuss Jax's return from a mental health facility, his confrontational behavior, and the impact of his actions on those around him. Brittany's struggles with her divorce and the support she receives from friends are highlighted, alongside Michelle's feelings of being overlooked. The segment concludes with Brittany's visit to a lawyer, marking a pivotal moment in her journey towards independence. The conversation delves into the troubling dynamics of a relationship marked by emotional abuse, stalking, and financial irresponsibility. The speakers discuss the alarming behavior of one partner, the legal implications of their actions, and the decision to file for divorce. As the narrative unfolds, the impact of addiction and mental health issues on relationships is explored, culminating in a reflection on the consequences of these behaviors as one partner prepares to return from rehab.

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Craig at the Wedding (Summer House S9 Reunion Part 2 Recap)

Fri, 06 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley provide their thoughts on Tom Girardi's prison sentence, Scheana Shay's Prep-H campaign, Paige DeSorbo's new pajama line, Brynn Whitfield bailing on Bravo Love Hotel, this week's The Valley After Show, and way more than that! (00:00 - 46:55)

We then discuss the Part 2 of the Season 9 Reunion of Summer House. (46:55)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Spray Tans and the SI Swimsuit Runway Show

Thu, 05 Jun 2025 11:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley talk about Bethenny Frankel and Stassi Schroeder on the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Runway Show and hope they can get spray tans like them for BravoCon this year.

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Cauchi Countersurveillance (The Valley S2 E8 Recap)

Wed, 04 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss Matt Damon and Ben Affleck's enduring friendship and hypothesize what their dinner table conversation could have been, and then they provide their thoughts on Mission Impossible: Final Reckoning. (00:00 - 9:25)

We then discuss the latest episode of The Valley (season 2, episode 8) - "The Biggest Snake in the Grass". (9:25)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

RIVERSIDE AI SUMMARY:

In this conversation, the hosts explore various themes ranging from Hollywood friendships, particularly between Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, to their experiences with recent movie disappointments. They delve into the dynamics of reality TV, specifically focusing on the show 'The Valley', discussing its repetitive conflicts and the social interactions among cast members. The conversation also touches on the challenges of maintaining engaging content in reality shows, highlighting the importance of fresh storylines and the impact of social games on group dynamics. The conversation delves into the complexities of trust, relationships, and the impact of reality television on personal dynamics. It explores themes of vulnerability, conflict, and emotional turmoil, highlighting the challenges cast members face in navigating friendships and romantic relationships under the scrutiny of cameras. The discussion also critiques the portrayal of these dynamics in media and the personal growth that can emerge from such experiences. In this conversation, the hosts delve into the complexities of relationships, accountability, and the emotional turmoil faced by individuals in the spotlight. They explore themes of financial struggles, manipulation, and the impact of family dynamics on personal decisions. The discussion highlights the challenges of navigating love and regret, particularly in the context of reality television, while also looking ahead to future challenges and changes.

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Patreon Teaser: Andy Cohen Asks Jax About Making Love To Faith (VPR S6 Reunion Recap)

Sat, 31 May 2025 16:53:00 -0000

Andy Cohen discusses Jax Taylor making love to Faith at the Vanderpump Rules Season 6 reunion.

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The Anti-Lexi Birthday Brunch (Summer House S9 Reunion Part 1 Recap)

Fri, 30 May 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss Todd and Julie Chrisley's escape from prison, the new Paul Reubens' documentary as well as his legacy, Tom Sandoval being cast on House of Villains, and Kathy Griffin's reputation in Hollywood. (00:00 - 20:25)

We then discuss Part 1 of the Season 9 Reunion of Summer House. (20:25) as well as this week's The Valley After Show. (01:16:35)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

RIVERSIDE AI SUMMARY:

In this lively conversation, hosts Riley Hamilton and Amy Scarlata discuss the recent release of Todd Chrisley from prison, his surprising physical transformation, and the new 'Chrisley Cam' that tracks the family's activities. They delve into the world of reality TV, touching on Tom Sandoval's return to the spotlight and the implications of celebrity culture. The discussion shifts to the Summer House reunion, highlighting its impressive set design and the dynamics among the cast members. The hosts also reflect on the legacy of Pee-wee Herman and Leah McSweeney's ongoing legal battles, providing a comprehensive overview of the current state of reality television and its stars. In this conversation, the hosts delve into the complexities of relationships showcased in reality TV, particularly focusing on the breakup between Paige and Craig, the miscommunication between West and Sierra, and the implications of Imrul's reputation as an 'orgy beast'. They also explore Jesse's genuine feelings for Lexi, highlighting how personal struggles and misunderstandings can shape interactions and narratives within the show. In this episode, the hosts delve into the complexities of relationships showcased in the latest reunion of Summer House. They discuss the implications of Jesse's actions, Lexi's feelings, and the dynamics between the cast members. The conversation highlights the blurred lines of cheating, the reactions of the cast, and the misunderstandings that arise in a reality TV setting. The hosts also touch on the Valley Aftershow, providing insights into the ongoing drama and personal struggles of the cast members.

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Sunday in the Park with Jax (The Valley S2 E7 Recap)

Wed, 28 May 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss Brittany Cartwright casually dating someone, Carl Radke talking about dating Salley or Venita from Southern Charm, the Chrisley Family Pardons, Charlie Zakkour from Next-Gen NYC seeing his Crypto friend get arrested, a recap of Phaedra's return on RHOA, as well as other news items. (00:00 - 29:10)

We then discuss the latest episode of The Valley (season 2, episode 7) - "Jason's Ring". (29:10)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

RIVERSIDE AI SUMMARY:

In this lively conversation, hosts Riley Hamilton and Amy Scarlata discuss a range of topics from Emmanuel Macron's lighthearted dismissal of a controversial incident with his wife to Brittany Cartwright's new romantic interest. They delve into the complexities of Bravo relationships, the shocking details of a crypto crime in NYC, the Chrisleys' controversial return to the spotlight, and the disturbing story of Ruby Franke's parenting. The conversation wraps up with reflections on the current state of reality TV and the absence of gatekeepers in the industry. In this episode, Riley and Amy discuss various topics ranging from the dynamics of butlers, casting news for upcoming shows, and the mysteries surrounding relationships in 'The Valley'. They delve into the implications of actions taken by characters, particularly focusing on the return of Phaedra in 'Atlanta' and the ongoing narrative of Dark Side Danny. The conversation also touches on the significance of wedding rings and the humorous yet serious undertones of their discussions about relationships and personal dynamics. In this segment of the conversation, the hosts delve into the complexities of interpersonal relationships within a reality TV context. They discuss the hypocrisy of Jason's actions, Danny's accountability, and Jesse's troubling background. The conversation shifts to Brittany's shark-themed party, highlighting her enthusiasm and party planning skills. The hosts also touch on Danny's struggles with alcohol perception and Kristen's gossip, which leads to unexpected consequences. Finally, they explore Jason's heartfelt apology to Danny, showcasing a moment of reconciliation amidst the drama. In this episode, the hosts delve into the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on past confrontations and the impact of rumors. They discuss the editing choices in reality TV that shape narratives and how these choices can lead to misunderstandings among friends. The conversation shifts to Jax's legal troubles and the fallout from his actions, highlighting the consequences that ripple through his relationships. As they explore the dynamics of trust and communication, the hosts anticipate future conflicts arising from unresolved issues, setting the stage for more drama in upcoming episodes.

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Patreon Teaser: A Hypothetical WWHL Bartender Experience (Vanderpump Rules S6 E21 Recap)

Sat, 24 May 2025 14:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss how they would flop like fishes if they were WWHL bartenders.

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What Would Lexi Wood Do? (Summer House S9 E15 Recap)

Fri, 23 May 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss Erika Jayne and Jesse Solomon having sex right after the NBC Upfronts, Dolores Catania moving to Rhode Island ASAP, and Janet Caperna's major mistake. (00:00 - 26:50)

We then discuss the unremarkable season 9 finale of Summer House - "Summer House of Horrors". (26:50)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Roast of Danny Booko (The Valley S2 E6 Recap)

Wed, 21 May 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss David O'Russell's latest workplace tantrum, the Summer House spin-off rumors, Lindsay Hubbard's new big apartment, Jesse Solomon on the Tink (sp?) podcast, and even more breaking news that those four news stories. (00:00 - 34:30)

We then discuss the latest episode of The Valley (season 2, episode 6) - "We Need to Talk About Danny". (34:30)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

RIVERSIDE AI SUMMARY:

In this conversation, the hosts discuss various topics ranging from David O. Russell's on-set behavior to the dynamics of reality TV shows like Summer House. They explore the influence of Hollywood figures, the evolution of reality television, and the responsibilities of pet ownership among celebrities. The conversation also touches on the future of Bravo and its franchises, including the potential return of former cast members. In this conversation, the hosts delve into the complexities of reality television, particularly focusing on the dynamics of personal relationships and the impact of past behaviors on current interactions. They discuss Vicky Gunvalson's reflections on her time in the Bravo dog house, the emotional tensions in the latest episode of The Valley, and the challenges of navigating relationships with ex-partners. The conversation also touches on the aesthetics of home choices and how they reflect personal values, all while maintaining a humorous and engaging tone. In this episode, the hosts discuss various dynamics within the Vanderpump Rules cast, focusing on relationships, apologies, and personal histories. They explore the significance of representation in relationships, the complexities of apologies, and the impact of personal experiences on behavior. The conversation also touches on proposal preparations, parenting, and the challenges of navigating friendships in a reality TV context. The episode concludes with reflections on confrontations and the humorous undertones of the cast's interactions.

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Patreon Teaser: Lisa Vanderpump's Restaurant Awards (Vanderpump Rules S6 E20 Recap)

Sun, 18 May 2025 20:28:39 -0000

Amy and Riley talk about Lisa Vanderpump and her various accolades.

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The First Annual Lindsay Hubbard Freedom Dinner

Fri, 16 May 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss the Tom Cruise's lackluster reception at the Cannes Film Festival, Lindsay Hubbard being spoiled rotten by Turner Kufe on Mother's Day, and Scheana Shay's post-Vanderpump Rules sorrow. (00:00 - 31:40)

We then discuss the latest iconic episode of Summer House - season 9, episode 14 - "The One With The 9:00pm Manicure". (31:40)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Dawn of Darkside Danny (The Valley S2 E5 Recap)

Wed, 14 May 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss the BravoCon 2025 announcement, RHONY being completely cancelled never to return, Emmy Sharrett and Will Kulp's wonderful upcoming marriage to each other, and way more news than even that. (00:00 - 30:40)

We then discuss the latest episode of The Valley (season 2, episode 5) - "Drunk Danny Revisted". (30:40)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

RIVERSIDE AI SUMMARY:

In this episode, Riley Hamilton and Amy Scarlatta discuss the latest drama surrounding Sonja Morgan's refusal to pay a dinner bill at Tucci, the future of the Real Housewives of New York, and the buzz surrounding BravoCon. They also share exciting engagement news from Southern Hospitality, revisit the Miami Housewives, and analyze Jax Taylor's new tour and Schwartz's podcast.

In the next segment, the conversation delves into various aspects of the Bravo universe, focusing on the dynamics of relationships among cast members, particularly Ariana's reluctance to engage with Bravo-related topics, Erika Jayne's surprising reputation, and the chaotic return of Drunk Danny. The discussion also touches on Jesse's tumultuous behavior and relationship struggles, the antics during a wine tasting event, and the impact of cameos and business ventures within the Bravo world. The conversation delves into various themes surrounding reality TV dynamics, focusing on the interactions between cast members, their relationships, and the humorous yet chaotic moments that unfold. Key highlights include discussions about cameo experiences, the tumultuous relationship between Jesse and Michelle, and the antics of Danny, which lead to explosive confrontations and tender moments. The episode captures the essence of reality TV drama, humor, and the complexities of interpersonal relationships. In this episode, the hosts delve into various themes surrounding celebrity crushes, relationship dynamics, and the impact of secrets in friendships. They discuss the humorous yet serious implications of the 'hall pass' concept, explore the reactions to celebrity crushes, and reflect on the importance of transparency in relationships. The conversation also touches on the darker side of one cast member's behavior, leading to a broader discussion about the dynamics within the group.

The hosts conclude with reflections on the episode's overall impact and the community engagement surrounding their podcast.

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The Many Faces of Jesse Solomon (Summer House S9 E13 Recap)

Fri, 09 May 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss the bounty of four new Bravo shows that are being bestowed upon us, the end of Sutton and Avi's wonderful partnership. the online feud between Carl Radke and Lindsay Hubbard, and our new sponsor - Pedigree Drizzlers. (00:00 - 40:35)

We then discuss the latest wonderful episode of Summer House - season 9, episode 13 - "The Changing of the Tides at the Beach". (40:35)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

RIVERSIDE AI SUMMARY:

In this episode of Turtle Time, hosts Riley Hamilton and Amy Scarlatta discuss the surprising announcement of a new Pope, Pope Leo, and delve into the implications of this change. They then shift gears to cover the latest news from Bravo, including the announcement of new shows like Real Housewives of Rhode Island and the return of Ladies of London. The conversation explores the dynamics of the Real Housewives franchise and the potential impact of these new additions. They also touch on the upcoming spinoff of Shaws of Sunset and the controversial Wife Swap concept. Finally, they discuss the ongoing feud between Lindsay Hubbard and Carl, highlighting the social media buzz surrounding it. In this conversation, the hosts delve into the emotional complexities of public humiliation, particularly in the context of reality TV relationships. They explore the nuances of online feuds, the impact of social media on public perception, and the lighthearted yet serious discussions surrounding personal topics like fertility. The conversation also touches on the dynamics within the cast of Summer House, highlighting the evolving relationships and business ventures that shape their experiences. In this segment, the conversation delves into various themes including celebrity culture, personal relationships, and emotional struggles. The hosts discuss Bethany's move to Florida, the dynamics between Carl and Lindsay, Jesse's emotional journey, and the challenges of group dynamics in social settings. They also touch on the mysterious absence of Emeril, the complexities of Sierra and Jesse's friendship, and the impact of grief on relationships. The light-hearted moments, such as Kyle's muffin antics, provide a contrast to the deeper discussions. In this episode, Riley and Amy delve into the intricate dynamics of relationships showcased in 'Summer House,' exploring themes of family connections, celebrity interactions, and the emotional rollercoaster of friendships. They discuss the implications of engagements and breakups, the challenges of navigating apologies, and the anticipation of the season finale. The conversation also touches on pop culture references and personal anecdotes, providing a humorous and insightful commentary on the reality TV landscape.

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Patreon Teaser: Lisa Vanderpump's Disgraceful Performance on WWHL (Vanderpump Rules S6 E19 Recap)

Thu, 08 May 2025 16:08:34 -0000

Riley gets pissed about Lisa Vanderpump on WWHL.

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Jax in Mental Health House (The Valley S2 E4 Recap)

Wed, 07 May 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss Luke Broderick saying that the food at SUR is pure shit, Lindsay Hubbard teasing that she might be on the next season of RHONY, and even way more news that. (00:00 - 19:50)

We then discuss the latest beautiful episode of The Valley (season 2, episode 4) - "Santa Barbara Bags and White Flags". (19:50)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

AI SUMMARY OF THE EPISODE:

In this conversation, Riley and Amy discuss various topics related to reality TV, focusing on the recent critiques of SUR Restaurant's menu by Luke Broderick, the potential for Lindsay Hubbard to join the Real Housewives of New York, and the dynamics of the cast in The Valley. They explore the implications of seating arrangements in reunions, the excitement surrounding a trip to Santa Barbara, and humorous cultural blind spots that arise in their discussions. In this episode, the conversation delves into Jax's tumultuous journey through a mental health facility, exploring the emotional turmoil he inflicts on Brittany through incessant texts. The group engages in light-hearted race car activities, juxtaposed with serious discussions about emotional manipulation and conflict resolution. The episode culminates in a healing circle, where the cast reflects on their struggles and aspirations, highlighting the importance of support and connection amidst chaos. In this episode, Riley and Amy delve into the complexities of Jax's mental health journey, his controversial apology to Tom Sandoval, and the dynamics of relationships among the cast. They discuss Danny's voiceover career, Jesse's emotional struggles, and the tensions arising from drunken antics. The conversation also touches on the upcoming reunion and the current season of Atlanta, highlighting cast dynamics and viewer reactions.

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Patreon Teaser: Karma's a Bitch (Vanderpump Rules S6 E18 Recap)

Sun, 04 May 2025 21:26:52 -0000

Jax Taylor has a meltdown at SUR.

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Pillow Fights and Zootopia Nights (Summer House S9 E12 Recap)

Fri, 02 May 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss Brittany Cartwright ranking Jax Taylor's sexual prowess between a 2 and a 7 on Watch What Happens Live, the Real Housewives of Miami season 7 trailer, Vanderpump Villa, and even more news than that. (00:00 - 28:20)

We then discuss the latest wonderful episode of Summer House - season 9, episode 12 - "Red Flags and McDonald's Bags". (28:20)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

In this conversation, Riley and Amy delve into the complexities of relationships within the reality TV sphere, focusing on Jax and Brittany's intimate life, the fallout from Brittany's comments, and the dynamics of the cast members. They explore the implications of Craig Conover's behavior, Brittany's journey towards independence, and the intriguing insights from the boys' chat. The discussion also touches on the upcoming drama on the Real Housewives of Miami and wraps up with a light-hearted look at the latest episode of Summer House, highlighting the ongoing tensions and humorous moments. In this episode, the conversation revolves around the ongoing party dynamics in Summer House, focusing on Carl's heartfelt confession to Sierra, the complexities of their relationship, and the reactions of their friends. The discussion also touches on Jesse's missteps and the impact of reality TV on personal relationships, culminating in humorous moments surrounding party themes and unexpected movie choices. In this episode, the hosts discuss the latest events in Summer House, focusing on the dynamics of friendships, the struggles of Jesse and Lexi's relationship, and the surprising revelations during Kyle and Amanda's dinner. The conversation also touches on the impact of AI on reality TV and the evolving nature of relationships within the cast.

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Danny the Drunk Daddy (The Valley S2 E3 Recap)

Wed, 30 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss Dorit and PK's impending divorce, our thoughts on Vanderpump Villa, Craig Conover's favorite books, Gizelle Bryant on Watch What Happens Live, Erika Jayne getting Tom Girardi's client's lottery winnings as part of her monthly allowance, and much more. (00:00 - 40:10)

We then discuss the latest wonderful episode of The Valley (season 2, episode 3) - "The Boys Chat Mole". (40:10)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The First Annual Summer House Snoozefest (Summer House S9 E11 Recap)

Fri, 25 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss Stassi Schroeder and Beau Clarke Schroeder having sex in Hartford's ball pit after her first birthday, Fyre Festival Featuring Amy and Riley from Turtle Time, Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo's new book on the New York Times Bestseller List, Alex Baskin on the Nick Viall podcast, and even more news than that. (00:00 - 23:23)

We then discuss the latest wonderful episode of Summer House - season 9, episode 11 - "Reading Between the Tanlines". (23:23)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Clash of the Cauchis (The Valley S2 E2 Recap)

Wed, 23 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss George Clooney's new hair, Mia Thornton leaving Real Housewives of Potomac, Garcelle and Sutton's fractured relationship, Joe Exotic getting married, and Tom Schwartz' new podcast, Detox Retox. (00:00 - 34:30)

We then discuss the latest episode of The Valley (season 2, episode 2) - "The Cauchi Homestead". (34:30)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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In The Valley of the Shadow of Jax (The Valley S2 E1 and Summer House S9 E10 Recaps)

Thu, 17 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Garcelle Beauvais' exit from RHOBH, Taylor Ann Green leaving Southern Charm, Lisa Vanderpump's latest US Weekly interview, and many other updates that you will definitely consider as news. (00:00 - 29:35)

We then discuss the season 2 premiere of The Valley - "What Hath Jax Wrought?". (29:35)

We then discuss the latest wonderful episode of Summer House - season 9, episode 10 - "Hope Lodge". (1:41:35)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Ghost of Kenya (RHOA S16 E6 Recap)

Tue, 15 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the Blue Origin space flight, Coachella fever, the RHOSLC and Below Deck crossover, Tom Schwartz' interview on the E! News red carpet, The Baldwins, and so much more stuff that you'll definitely feel like you listened to Amy and Riley talk about news. (00:00 - 37:27)

And then we discuss the Real Housewives of Atlanta - season 16, episode 6 - "Kenya Moore Twirls Down to Hell". (37:27)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: SUR Going South (Vanderpump Rules S6 E16 Recap)

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 20:18:48 -0000

Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney eat pizza in bed.

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Raised by Lindsay Hubbard (Summer House S9 E9 and RHOBH S14 Reunion Pt. 2 Recap)

Thu, 10 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Ally Lewber's interview on the The Viall Files, Seth Rogen announcing his favorite Vanderpump Rules cast member while eating chicken wings, as well as other newsworthy updates. (00:00 - 21:05)

We then discuss the latest beautiful episode of Summer House - season 9, episode 9 - "Breaking Bread". (21:05)

As well as Part 2 of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season 14 reunion. (1:18:15)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Kenya Moore Hair Scare (Southern Charm S10 Reunion Pt. 2 and RHOA S16 E5 Recap)

Tue, 08 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the sale of Rocco's West Hollywood and what that means for Brittany Cartwright, Paige DeSorbo's New York Times article, and even more than that! (00:00 - 15:30)

We then discuss the final part of the Southern Charm season 10 reunion and our thoughts on the season overall. (15:30)

And finally, we talk about the Real Housewives of Atlanta - season 16, episode 5 - "What's Lower Than Hell?". (1:04:55)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

In this conversation, the hosts discuss various trending topics including Erin Lichy's controversial parenting moment, Brittany Cartwright's pop-up restaurant plans, and the Southern Charm reunion. They also touch on Bravo conspiracy theories, Paige DeSorbo's feature in the New York Times, and upcoming shows in the reality TV landscape. The discussion is lively and filled with humor, reflecting on the absurdities of celebrity culture and reality television.

In this episode, the hosts delve into various themes surrounding the reality show Southern Charm, including personal confessions, relationship dynamics, and reflections on the show's legacy. They discuss the impact of substance use on honesty, the evolution of characters over the seasons, and the challenges of body image portrayed in the show. The conversation also touches on dating experiences and the significance of engagement rings, culminating in a humorous hypothetical scenario involving Homer experiencing modern cinema. In this segment of the conversation, the hosts delve into the complexities of relationships within the Southern Charm cast, particularly focusing on Craig's missteps and temper. They discuss the impact of Craig's behavior on his friendships and public perception, as well as the dynamics of accountability among the cast members. The conversation culminates in reflections on the reunion and the future of the show, highlighting the need for growth and change within the cast.

The conversation delves into the dynamics of the Real Housewives franchise, focusing on Kenya's controversial actions and their repercussions on the cast and the show. The hosts discuss the emotional struggles of Brit, the impact of Kenya's confessionals, and the fallout from a dramatic speech that left the cast in shock. They also touch on health awareness and personal reflections, emphasizing the importance of self-care.

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What Has Jesse Solomon Done? (Summer House S9 E8 and RHOBH S14 Reunion Pt. 1 Recap)

Thu, 03 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Riley interviewing Brittany Cartwright and Jason Caperna, Lisa Vanderpump on the Hot Mic podcast, Victoria Lee Robinson and Tom Sandoval having sex after eating oysters, and much more! (00:00 - 30:55)

We then discuss the latest wonderful episode of Summer House - season 9, episode 8 - "Lexi and Jesse Make It Official". (30:55)

As well as Part 1 of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season 14 reunion. (1:18:35)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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A Rose Between Two Thorns (Southern Charm S10 Reunion Pt. 1 and RHOA S16 E3 +4 Recap)

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart making out on the New York City Subway as well as the current slate of plays on Broadway. (00:00 - 6:15)

We then discuss Part 1 of the Southern Charm season 10 reunion. (6:15)

And finally, we talk about the last two episodes of Real Housewives of Atlanta - season 16, episode 3 and episode 4 - "The Man in the Basement" and "A Brit Too Much" (55:20)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Watch Your Back (Vanderpump Rules S6 E14 Recap)

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 17:52:36 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss Burt Schwartz moving to Los Angeles.

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Patreon Teaser: Vegas! Baby? (Vanderpump Rules S6 E13 Recap)

Fri, 28 Mar 2025 17:42:34 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss what contemporary Oscar-winning films Lisa Vanderpump would enjoy.

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The Hater Boyfriend (Summer House S9 E7 and RHOBH S14 Finale Recap)

Thu, 27 Mar 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Teresa Giudice and Luis Ruelas owing 3 million dollars to the government and Garcelle Beauvais leaving RHOBH after 5 seasons. (00:00 - 15:30)

We then discuss the latest wonderful episode of Summer House - season 9, episode 7 - "What Did Jesse Solomon Do". (15:30)

As well as the delightful season 14 finale of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - "The Coordinated Attack Against Sutton Stracke" (1:09:25)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Fall of Charleston (Southern Charm S10 Finale Recap)

Tue, 25 Mar 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the trailer for Vanderpump Villa season 2 and whether or not West Wilson's penis popped out of his underwear on last week's episode of Summer House. (00:00 - 21:27)

We then discuss the horrendous season 10 finale of Southern Charm - "The Legend of Shep William Rose". (21:27) as well as the Summer House and Southern Charm after shows.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Amy and Riley on Trial at Sea (Summer House S9 E6 and RHOBH S14 E16 Recaps)

Thu, 20 Mar 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the Southern Charm season 10 reunion trailer, the reason Jax Taylor got fired from Vanderpump Rules, and fashion at the iHeart Awards. (00:00 - 26:45)

We then discuss the latest wonderful episode of Summer House - season 9, episode 6 - "Craig on Trial at Sea. (26:45)

As well as the horrendous episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - season 14, episode 16 - "Sutton on Trial at Sea" (1:22:20)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Barber of King Street (Southern Charm S10 E14 and RHOA S16 E2 Recaps)

Tue, 18 Mar 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the new crop of Bravolebrity memoirs, Tom Cruise finding love, and the latest Vanderpump Rules reboot news. (00:00 - 20:50)

We then discuss the latest episode of Southern Charm - season 10, episode 14 - "Enough Tears to Fill Up an Ocean". (20:50)

And finally, we talk about the latest episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta - season 16, episode 2 - "Much Ado about Dennis and Drew". (1:15:40)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

In this lively conversation, hosts Riley Hamilton and Amy discuss the latest celebrity news, including Tom Cruise's rumored romance with Anna De Armas, the enigmatic nature of Cruise's life, and the humorous aspects of Scientology. They also delve into the upcoming season of Vanderpump Rules, the emergence of new Bravo podcasts, and the dynamics of relationships in Southern Charm, particularly focusing on Craig and Paige's evolving connection.

In this episode of Southern Charm, the conversation delves into the complexities of relationships, recovery, and personal growth. Craig's journey to sobriety is highlighted, showcasing the support he receives from Paige. The dynamics of sibling relationships are explored, particularly through Austin's interactions with his sister. Madison shares joyful news about her family, while Vanita navigates her budding relationship with JT. The planning of a summer soiree brings the group together, and Molly and Taylor's friendship evolves. Shep's heartbreak and healing process are discussed, alongside Sally's decision to remove her breast implants. The episode concludes with Paige and Craig's relationship dynamics and the brewing drama surrounding Venita's call about JT.

In this conversation, the hosts delve into the intricate dynamics of loyalty, trust, and drama within the reality TV shows Southern Charm and Real Housewives of Atlanta. They explore the complexities of relationships, misunderstandings, and the fallout from accusations, while also anticipating the upcoming finale and reunion episodes. The discussion highlights the challenges faced by the cast members as they navigate personal struggles and shifting alliances, ultimately revealing the messy nature of reality television.

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Patreon Teaser: Wishful Sinking (Vanderpump Rules S6 E11 Recap)

Mon, 17 Mar 2025 22:21:07 -0000

Riley and Amy discuss Carl Radke's upcoming memoir, Cake Eater.

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Congrats Jesse & Lexi (Summer House S9 E5 and RHOBH S14 E15 Recaps)

Thu, 13 Mar 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss The Valley season 2 trailer, Tom Sandoval being on the cover of US Weekly, and Dorit Kemsley countering the claims that she doesn't pay people that work for her. (00:00 - 28:00)

We then discuss the latest wonderful episode of Summer House - season 9, episode 5 - "Red Flags and Dirty Rags". (28:00)

As well as the horrendous episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - season 14, episode 15 - "Dorit and Sutton Revisited" (1:20:24)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

In this conversation, Riley and Amy discuss the recent trailer for Season 2 of 'The Valley,' sharing their expectations and reactions. They delve into the dynamics of parenting as portrayed in reality TV, particularly how children are integrated into the drama. The conversation shifts to the tumultuous relationship between Jax and Brittany, highlighting the drama surrounding their marriage. They also touch on new engagements, particularly Kristen and Luke's, and the ongoing controversy surrounding Tom Sandoval. The discussion includes Dorit's glam drama and wraps up with a recap of 'Summer House,' focusing on the evolving dynamics among the cast, especially Lindsay's pregnancy and her relationship with Turner.

In this episode, the hosts discuss various themes surrounding relationships, accountability, and personal growth within the context of the reality show 'Summer House.' They explore the dynamics of fan loyalty, the challenges of honesty in relationships, and the impact of jealousy. The conversation also touches on cultural differences in dating and social interactions, as well as the influence of producers on the narrative. The hosts reflect on the characters' struggles with body image, vulnerability, and the complexities of modern dating culture, all while maintaining a humorous and engaging tone.

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The Lawyer and the Storyteller (Southern Charm S10 E13 and RHOA S16 E1 Recaps)

Tue, 11 Mar 2025 12:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss King Charles III's Apple Music playlist, Brittany Cartwright's response to Jax Taylor's Hot Mic interview about his cocaine addiction, Tamra Judge leaving RHOC, James Kennedy taking a selfie with Andrew Tate and his brother, and the simmering online feud between Lindsay Hubbard and West Wilson (00:00 - 47:50)

We then discuss the latest episode of Southern Charm - season 10, episode 13 - "A Necklace for Sienna". (47:50)

And finally, we talk about the Season 16 premiere of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. (1:31:50)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

In this lively conversation, hosts Riley Hamilton and Amy discuss a range of topics from King Charles' music playlist to the latest drama in the Bravo universe, including revelations from Brittany and Jax's podcast and James Kennedy's controversial choices. They also touch on the finale of 'The Traitors' and speculate on celebrity dynamics within reality TV. In this conversation, Riley and Amy delve into various aspects of reality TV, focusing on the dynamics of shows like 'Traitors' and 'Summer House.' They discuss game design improvements, contestant interactions, and the impact of personal issues on reality TV narratives. The conversation also touches on the evolution of reality shows, Instagram feuds, and the generational shifts affecting the genre. They express concerns about the future of reality TV and the balance between personal lives and entertainment.

In the Southern Charm segment, the conversation delves into the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on emotional disconnects, group dynamics, and the significance of gift-giving. The speakers analyze the interactions between Shep and Sienna, highlighting the lack of mutual understanding and the impact of generational differences. They also discuss the importance of friendship and support during tough times, as well as the challenges of defining relationships in a modern context. The episode culminates in a confrontation that reveals deeper issues of self-improvement and personal growth among the group. In this conversation, Amy and Riley delve into the emotional reunion of Craig and Austin, exploring themes of sobriety, friendship, and personal growth. They discuss Craig's struggles with alcohol and his journey towards a healthier lifestyle, highlighting the importance of support from loved ones.

The conversation then transitions to the premiere of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, where they analyze the new cast dynamics and the challenges faced by returning members. Overall, the discussion captures the essence of personal transformation and the complexities of relationships in the reality TV landscape.

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Patreon Teaser: It's All Happening (Vanderpump Rules S6 E10 Recap)

Tue, 11 Mar 2025 00:24:52 -0000

Riley discusses Brady Corbet's film, The Brutalist.

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The Summer of the Spritz War (Summer House S9 E4 and RHOBH S14 E14 Recaps)

Thu, 06 Mar 2025 13:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Jax Taylor opening up about his cocaine addiction. (00:00 - 35:35)

We then discuss the latest episode of Summer House - season 9, episode 4 - "Lindsay Hubbard's Gender Reveal Treasure Hunt". (35:35)

As well as the latest episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - season 14, episode 14 - "A Hilton Unhinged" (1:25:30)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Mr. Toad and the Wild Man From Hell (RHOP S9 Reunion Part 3 and Southern Charm S10 E12 Recaps)

Tue, 04 Mar 2025 13:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the Oscars, and Tom Schwartz not wanting to name a restaurant after himself again. (00:00 - 18:20)

We then discuss the latest episode of Southern Charm - season 10, episode 12 - "Rose Island". (18:20)

And finally, we talk about Part 3 of the Real Housewives of Potomac season 9 reunion. (1:05:50)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Screams and Queens (Vanderpump Rules S6 E10 Recap)

Mon, 03 Mar 2025 17:02:35 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss The Traitors and if Stassi Schroeder's passion for murder would make her want to join the show.

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Amy and Riley's Q Score (Summer House S9 E3 and RHOBH S14 E12 Recaps)

Thu, 27 Feb 2025 13:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley talk for 20 minutes about the new show, The Baldwins, and then discuss Karen Huger being sentenced to prison for her DUI as well as Kelly Bensimon's dream RHONY cast. (00:00 - 33:30)

We then discuss the latest episode of Summer House - season 9, episode 3 - "Hannah Berner's Revenge". (33:30)

As well as the latest episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - season 14, episode 13 - "Caftan Dreams and Caviar Wishes" (1:21:50)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Ay Dios Mia (RHOP S9 Reunion Part 1 + 2 and Southern Charm S10 E11 Recaps)

Tue, 25 Feb 2025 13:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the SAG awards, Ariana Madix appearing on the show "Will Trent" and the latest Justin Baldoni / Blake Lively news. (00:00 - 17:25)

We then discuss the first two parts of the wonderful Real Housewives of Potomac season 9 reunion. (17:25)

And then we discuss the latest episode of Southern Charm - season 10, episode 11 - "Bahama Promises". (1:02:50)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Call Me Jason (Vanderpump Rules S6 E9 Recap)

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 20:41:48 -0000

Schwartz' triplet brothers - Burt, Billy, and Brandon - get stunning haircuts and new suits.

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Battle of the Exes (Summer House S9 E2 and RHOBH S14 E11 Recaps)

Fri, 21 Feb 2025 13:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley talk about someone finally checking on Scheana Shay, Ben Stiller letting his thoughts be known about RHOBH, and much more than that. (00:00 - 25:05)

We then discuss the latest episode of Summer House - season 9, episode 2 - "Lindsay Lowers the Steaks". (25:05)

As well as the latest episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - season 14, episode 12 - "Dorit's Shitty Fourth of July Party" (1:19:50)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Sad Saga of Sienna and Shep (RHOBH S14 E11 and Southern Charm S10 E10 Recaps)

Tue, 18 Feb 2025 10:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Paige DeSorbo and Craig Conover entering a new level or horror post-breakup, and we discuss the upcoming Dan Brown book - "The Secret of All Secrets". (00:00 - 17:35)

We then discuss the latest episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - season 14, episode 11 - "Light in Augusta" (17:35)

And then we discuss the latest episode of Southern Charm - season 10, episode 10 - "The Sienna and Shep Saga". (1:05:35)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Hubb Cub Club (Summer House S9 E1 Recap)

Fri, 14 Feb 2025 20:18:23 -0000

It's Valentine's Day, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs and we got shot by Cupid's arrow. On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the season 9 premiere of Summer House as well as Lindsay Hubbard's appearance on Watch What Happens Live.

If you enjoyed this episode, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

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Mr. Sudler-Smith's Wild Ride (RHOSLC S5 Reunion Pt 3 and Southern Charm S10 E9 Recaps)

Tue, 11 Feb 2025 13:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the highlights from the Super Bowl, the latest updates on the Craig Conover and Paige DeSorbo break-up, and some of the highlights from Carl Radke's Nick Viall interview. (00:00 - 33:45)

We then discuss part 3 of the season 5 reunion of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - "To Burn It With Barlow". (33:45)

And then we discuss the latest episode of Southern Charm - season 10, episode 9 - "The Drunkest Boy at Boys Night". (1:08:45)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: It's Not About the Pasta (Vanderpump Rules S6 E7 Recap)

Mon, 10 Feb 2025 18:57:25 -0000

James gets angry when he finds out that Lala and Logan ate a huge portion of Raquel's pasta while he was DJing.

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The Adventures of Garcelle and Reba (RHOP S9 Finale, RHOBH S14 E10, and RHONY S15 Reunion Pt 2 Recap)

Thu, 06 Feb 2025 13:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the latest Craig Conover and Paige DeSorbo news, the Denise Richards spin-off, and send positive thoughts to Marcus Jordan. (00:00 - 21:15)

And then we discuss the wonderful Real Housewives of Potomac season 9 finale - "For All The Dogs" along with the penultimate episode from last week (21:15)

We then discuss the latest episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - season 14, episode 10 - "A Decade with Dorit" (1:11:50)

We then finally and with the least amount of energy, we discuss part 2 of the Real Housewives of New York City season 15 reunion - "All's Well That Ends Well" (1:53:50)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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An Offer Austen Could Easily Refuse (RHOSLC S5 Reunion Pt 2 and Southern Charm S10 E8 Recaps)

Tue, 04 Feb 2025 13:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley talk about all of their favorite Grammy moments, the latest in the ongoing Paige and Craig saga as well as the latest in the Baldoni / Lively feud. (00:00 - 21:00)

We then discuss part 2 of the season 5 reunion of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - "A Type of Suffering". (21:00)

And then we discuss the latest episode of Southern Charm - season 10, episode 8 - "Beers on my Pillow". (56:45)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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What We Talk About When We Talk About The PK Text (RHOBH S14 E9 and RHONY S15 Reunion Pt 1 Recap)

Thu, 30 Jan 2025 13:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Taylor Swift's plans to dunk Travis Kelce in a jug of Gatorade, the upcoming Super Bowl commercials including one potentially featuring Something About Her, and Jesse Solomon expressing interest in dating Paige DeSorbo. (00:00 -24:15)

Riley then tells Amy a little bit about this week's episode of Real Housewives of Potomac. (24:15)

And then, we discuss the latest episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - season 14, episode 9 - "Once More About the Text, My Friend" (28:50)

And then, we discuss Part 1 of the Real Housewives of New York City season 15 reunion, (1:12:05)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Jeweler's Code (RHOSLC S5 Reunion Pt 1 and Southern Charm S10 E7 Recaps)

Tue, 28 Jan 2025 13:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley talk about the rumors that Paige DeSorbo is dating a new person, the latest Justin Baldoni and Blake Lively news, and then Harrison Ford metaphorically "seeing red" and becoming red as Marvel's new "Red Hulk". (00:00 - 20:10)

We then discuss part 1 of the season 5 reunion of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - "The Jeweler's Code". (20:10)

And then we discuss the latest episode of Southern Charm - season 10, episode 7 - "The Royal American". (01:14:55)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Sex, Lies and Audiotape (Vanderpump Rules S6 E5 Recap)

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 16:57:55 -0000

Jax and Brittany host a housewarming party and hope that someone doesn't play the audio recording of him talking to Faith after he cheated on Brittany with her.

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The Bridges Brynn Burned (RHONY S15 Finale, RHOBH S14 E8, RHOP S9 E15 Recaps)

Thu, 23 Jan 2025 13:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Joe Exotic not getting a pardon, Bethenny Frankel watching Riley's TikTok, and the latest news about the Justin Baldoni and Blake Lively scandal. (00:00 - 15:55)

And then, we discuss the shocking, instantly iconic Real Housewives of New York City season 15 finale - "Paradise Lost" (16:00)

We then discuss the latest episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - season 14, episode 8 - "Let's Talk About The Text More" (1:12:30)

We then finally and with the least amount of energy, we discuss the latest dull episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac - season 9, episode 15 - "The Gordon and Ray Show" (1:53:20)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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One Foot on a Banana Peel (RHOSLC S5 Finale and Southern Charm S10 E6 Recaps)

Tue, 21 Jan 2025 13:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss getting a pardon from Former President Biden, the Justin Baldoni / Blake Lively scandal, and also Ally Lewber officially moving out from James Kennedy's house. (00:00 - 29:15)

We then discuss the season 5 finale of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - "When All Is Said and Done". (29:15)

And then we discuss the latest episode of Southern Charm - season 10, episode 6 - "Making a Splash". (01:32:35)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Memes at PK Cheese (RHOBH S14 E7, RHOP S9 E14, and RHONY S15 E14 Recaps)

Thu, 16 Jan 2025 13:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Dorinda Medley telling everyone that Lindsay Hubbard had a miscarriage, Tom Sandoval's altruism, Jen Shah getting out of prison early, and much more stuff that everyone will love! (00:00 - 22:05)

We then discuss the latest episodes of the Real Housewives of Potomac - season 9, episodes 13 + 14 - "Panama Trip" (22:05)

And then we discuss the latest episodes of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - season 14, episode 6 + 7 - "From the Viper Room to the Middle Valley Chuck E. Cheese". (43:05)

And then finally, we discuss Real Housewives of New York City - season 15, episode 13 + 14 - "The Death of Fun Part 1 and 2" (01:34:50)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Back in the Saddle (Vanderpump Rules S6 E3 Recap)

Wed, 15 Jan 2025 18:38:49 -0000

Brittany's friends cast a hex on Jax Taylor to punish him for his infidelity.

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UNLOCKING THE GATES: Jax's Roast (Vanderpump Rules S5 E12 Recap)

Tue, 07 Jan 2025 13:00:09 -0000

For the first time ever, Amy and Riley unlock the gates of Villa Rosa to provide the Little Turtle Cutie community with this free, full-length episode from our Patreon. Sit back and enjoy the life of a Villa Rosa VIP as we recap Vanderpump Rules season 5, episode 12 - "Jax's Roast".

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Patreon Teaser: Unfaithful (Vanderpump Rules S6 E2 Recap)

Mon, 06 Jan 2025 21:26:50 -0000

After Jax Taylor admits to his infidelity, Brittany sentences him to rot in Hell for all eternity.

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Craig Plants a Seed (RHOP S9 E12 and Southern Charm S10 E4 Recaps)

Fri, 03 Jan 2025 13:00:29 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Carl Radke's fun New Years Eve dinner with Meredith Marks, Jennifer Ayden's unfortunate experience at Jersey Mike's, and the sad end to Paige DeSorbo and Craig Conover's relationship. (00:00 - 25:05)

We then discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac - season 9, episode 12 - "The Panamanian Devil". (25:05)

And then we discuss the latest episode of Southern Charm - season 10, episode 4 - "Craig Conover's Keys to Happiness". (46:50)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Season 5 Reunion Part 3 Recap

Fri, 27 Dec 2024 19:13:06 -0000

Get a sneak peek at the Villa Rosa VIP program with this exclusive clip from our Patreon!

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Todd's Five Promises (RHOSLC S5 E14 and Southern Charm S10 E3 Recaps)

Tue, 24 Dec 2024 13:00:49 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the shocking footage of Karen Huger's DUI arrest, Lisa Vanderpump questioning the paternity of Kristen Doute's unborn child, and the astounding box office success of Sonic 3. (00:00 - 27:55)

We then discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 5, episode 14 - "Toddy is Naughty". (27:55)

And then we discuss the latest episode of Southern Charm - season 10, episode 3 - "The JT Injustice". (59:30)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Kyle's Saloon and Karen's Love Lagoon (RHOBH S14 E5, RHOP S9 E11, and RHONY S15 E12 Recaps)

Thu, 19 Dec 2024 13:00:08 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the piping hot new trailer for Summer House season 9 as well as Al Pacino getting a little bit of lunch with Leonard DiCaprio. (00:00 - 16:15)

We then discuss this week's fun episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac - season 9, episode 11 - "Creature from the Love Lagoon." (16:15)

And then we discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - season 14, episode 5 - "Jennifer Tilly's House of Horrors". (44:45)

And then finally, we discuss this week's decent episode of the Real Housewives of New York City - season 15, episode 12 - "A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words" (01:11:25)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Craig’s Lies and Britani’s Guys (RHOSLC S5 E13 and Southern Charm S10 E2 Recaps)

Tue, 17 Dec 2024 13:00:06 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the latest awful developments in the James Kennedy domestic violence scandal as well as Tom Sandoval and Victoria Lee Robinson's very public relationship turmoil. (00:00 - 39:37)

We then discuss this week's wonderful episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 5, episode 13 - "Bronwyn Joins the B-Squard". (39:37)

And then we discuss the shocking episode of Southern Charm - season 10, episode 2 - "A Madison in JT's Clothing". (01:12:40)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: The Arrest of James Kennedy

Tue, 17 Dec 2024 02:33:38 -0000

Join us as we spend this week's Patreon episode discussing the James Kennedy tragedy, as well as parts one and two of the season 5 reunion.

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Baby Becky Strikes Back! (RHOBH S14 E4, RHOP S9 E10, and RHONY S15 E11 Recaps)

Thu, 12 Dec 2024 13:00:37 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Lindsay Hubbard's interview with Alex Baskin, the Hawk Tua Crypto Coin crash, and Taylor Swift. (00:00 - 18:25)

We then discuss this week's horrendous episode of the Real Housewives of New York City - season 15, episode 11 - "A Room of One's Own." (18:25)

We then discuss this week's fun episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac - season 9, episode 10 - "Where There's a Will..." (43:00)

And finally, we discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - season 14, episode 4 - "The Secret in Kathy's Vault". (01:06:45)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Amy and Riley Raise Cain (Southern Charm S10 E1 and RHOSLC S5 E12 Recaps)

Tue, 10 Dec 2024 13:00:29 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the end of Gypsy Rose and Ryan Anderson's marriage, Lindsay Hubbard giving birth to a child, Kristen Doute's baby gender reveal, and our thoughts on Leonardo Da Vinci. (00:00 - 25:05)

We then discuss this week's wonderful episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City - season 5, episode 12 - "Bronwyn at the Bat Mitzvah". (25:05)

And then we discuss the powerful season 10 premiere of Southern Charm - "C'est Fini, JT". (01:14:15)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Schwartz (Vanderpump Rules S5 E21 Recap)

Mon, 09 Dec 2024 18:54:35 -0000

In the season 5 finale of Vanderpump Rules, Bert, Billy, and Brandon watch their brother and Katie Maloney get married to each other.

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Kathy Hilton Likes Her Suitcase (RHOBH S14 E3, RHONY S15 E10, and RHOP S9 E9 Recaps)

Thu, 05 Dec 2024 13:00:16 -0000

Happy December, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! On today's buoyant episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the post-Thanksgiving Bravo landscape, as well as RHOSLC's Mary Cosby potentially saying a horrible thing about Lisa Barlow's son. (00:00 - 18:50)

We then discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac - season 9, episode 9 - "Darby V. Darby". (18:15)

And then we discuss another lackluster episode of the Real Housewives of New York City - season 15, episode 10 - "They Wore What!?". (44:05)

As well as this week's wonderful Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - season 14, episode 3 - "Two Ears, One Mouth". (01:15:35)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Taco Tuesday, Wedding Wednesday (Vanderpump Rules S5 E20 Recap)

Mon, 02 Dec 2024 19:11:37 -0000

Katie and Tom's wedding celebration seems perfect so far. But little do they know that Jax is having a lot of trouble coordinating the arrival of Tom's triplet brothers.

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The Death of Vanderpump Rules (RHOBH S14 E2, RHOSLC S5 E11, RHONY S15 E9, and RHOP S9 E8 Recaps)

Thu, 28 Nov 2024 13:00:07 -0000

Happy Thanksgiving, little turtle cuties! On today's sad episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the death of one of the most iconic reality television shows of all time, as well as Luann de Lesseps making out with Hugh Grant. (00:00 - 47:55)

We then discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac season 9, episode 8 - "Wendy's Second 40th Birthday". (48:00)

And then we quickly discuss the first good episode of the Real Housewives of New York City season 15, episode 9 - "The Bridge to OT IV". (01:10:20)

As well as the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season 14, episode 2 - "PK's Blinders". (01:37:55)

And then finally, we discuss the latest powerful episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 5, episode 10 - "The Curse at the Campground". (02:15:18)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Turtle Time Breaking News: The End of Schwartz & Sandy's

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 19:55:59 -0000

It's Turtle Time Breaking News! Amy and Riley react to the closing of Schwartz & Sandy's.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: The Trouble with Triplets (Vanderpump Rules S5 E19 Recap)

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 18:05:35 -0000

Jax Taylor wants to surprise Tom Schwartz by flying out all of his triplet brothers to be there on his wedding day. But Jax is about to find out that not everything good comes in threes!

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The Storms Before the Calm (RHOC S18 Reunion Recap)

Fri, 22 Nov 2024 20:04:24 -0000

Happy Friday, little turtle cuties! We're back with another episode of Turtle Time! Amy and I talk about the movie Wicked for 7 more minutes and then get right into our recap of Part 2 and Part 3 of the Real Housewives of Orange County season 18 reunion. (07:05)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Decay of Dorit and PK (RHONY S15 E8, RHOBH S14 E1, and RHOSLC S5 E10 Recaps)

Fri, 22 Nov 2024 13:00:48 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Amy seeing the film, Wicked, and the Wizard of Oz franchise as a whole, Jax Taylor getting into a car accident, and Jay Leno's tragic fall down a hill. (00:00 - 22:36)

And then we quickly discuss the latest horrible episode of the Real Housewives of New York City season 15, episode 8 - "The Leaky Pigeon Test". (22:36)

As well as the season 14 premiere of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season 14, episode 1 - "Sutton Gets Surreal". (00:42:40)

And then finally, we discuss the latest wonderful episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 5, episode 10 - "Breakfast at Mary's". (01:43:13)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Lisa On Top Bouncing (RHONY S15 E7, RHOP S9 E6, and RHOSLC S5 E9 Recaps)

Thu, 14 Nov 2024 13:00:19 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss John Krasinski being named the Sexiest Man Alive, Brittany Cartwright opening a new bar, Teddi Mellencamp cheating on her husband, the Wicked dolls that are causing the nation to panic, and much more! (00:00 - 26:11)

And then we break down another horrendous episode of the Real Housewives of New York City season 15, episode 7 - "Erin and Brynn Create Fake Storylines Because Their Show Is Horrible". (26:11)

As well as the latest wonderful episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac season 9, episode 6 - "Chiropractor Chaos!". (01:09:05)

And then finally, a wonderful episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 5, episode 9 - "Todd Gets Tired". (01:23:00)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Drag Battle (Vanderpump Rules S5 E17 Recap)

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 19:23:45 -0000

Lisa Vanderpump tests her hostess, Katie O'Malley, to see if she can handle being a server at SUR. Also, Tom and Katie are trying to enjoy their joint bachelor / bachelorette trip in the midst of relationship turmoil.

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Feeling Ohtani (RHOSLC S5 E8 and RHOC S18 Reunion Part 1 Recaps)

Fri, 08 Nov 2024 20:26:34 -0000

Happy Friday, little turtle cuties! On today's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss JT Thomas quitting Southern Charm before production wraps, the negative reaction to this season of RHONY, and the end of Real Housewives of Dubai. (00:00 - 25:30)

And then we break down another wonderful episode of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 15 episode 8 - "Don't Wake Toddy". (25:30)

As well as part 1 of the Real Housewives of Orange County season 18 reunion season. (01:09:55)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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God's Baby (RHONY S15 E6 and RHOP S9 E5 Recaps)

Thu, 07 Nov 2024 13:00:57 -0000

Welcome back, God's babies! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Bethenny Frankel's reaction to the election and no other news except for that. (00:00 - 12:35)

And then we break down another horrendous episode of the Real Housewives of New York City season 15 episode 6 - "Erin Starts a Mescal Business" (12:35)

As well as the latest wonderful episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac season 9, episode 5 - "A Horrible Breakfast". (01:00:25)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Man Tears and Braziers (Vanderpump Rules S5 E16 Recap)

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 16:18:46 -0000

Lisa Vanderpump knows the menu at SUR is perfect but that won't stop her from asking Chef Joe to put his cooking skills to the test to create three new entrees.

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At War with Shannon Beador (RHOC Season 18 Finale Recap)

Fri, 01 Nov 2024 18:26:29 -0000

We're back again, little turtle cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs! This episode is hot off the presses! Amy and Riley first discuss Amy seeing The Exorcist in theaters and they also talk about the Conclave fever that is sweeping the nation. (00:00 - 11:40)

And then Amy and Riley discuss the shit out of Real Housewives of Orange County season 18 episode 16 - "Sunday Roasted" as well as last night's season 18 finale. (11:40)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Worst Party in New York City (RHOSLC S5 E7, RHOP S9 E4, RHONY S15 E5 Recaps)

Fri, 01 Nov 2024 12:00:59 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the latest Vanderpump Rules news and the upcoming trailers for the new Southern Charm and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills seasons. (00:00 - 36:55)

And then we break down everything that happened on the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 5 episode 7 - "The Huzzbands" (36:55)

As well as the latest episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac season 9, episode 4 - "Bunking Beds and Butting Heads". (01:12:00)

And then finally but with the same amount of passion, Amy and Riley discuss the Real Housewives of New York City season 15 episode 5 - "The Clueless Party Episode" (01:32:15)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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An Offer Jared Osmond Couldn't Refuse (RHOP S9 E3, RHONY S15 E4, and RHOSLC S5 E6 Recaps)

Thu, 24 Oct 2024 12:00:11 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the latest episode of Tom Sandoval's new podcast in which he discusses the issues he had with Billie Lee, Katie Maloney's new boyfriend, serial killers that have never been caught, and much more! (00:00 - 35:00)

And then we break down everything that happened on The Real Housewives of Potomac season 9, episode 3 - "Momma Knows Best". (35:07)

As well as the latest very boring episode of The Real Housewives of New York City season 15 episode 4 - "Match Point of No Return". (01:04:43)

And then finally but with the same amount of passion, Amy and Riley discuss the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 5 episode 6 - "Mob Wives and Bad Vibes" (01:33:33)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Into the Closet (Vanderpump Rules S5 E14 Recap)

Mon, 21 Oct 2024 19:39:06 -0000

Peter Madrigal finally realizes his dreams of becoming a producer by bringing his passion project, The Riven Destiny, to life. But will Tom Sandoval's performance as Commander Staka turn Peter's dream into a nightmare?

Also, Katie uses her power as a bride-to-be to demand that Ariana apologizes to Stassi.

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Double Decker Dramamine Drama (RHONY S15 E3, RHOSLC S5 E5, RHOC S18 E15, and RHOP S9 E2 Recaps)

Fri, 18 Oct 2024 12:00:28 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Tamra Judge's autism diagnosis, Big Jim Bellino's newest fling, the latest news on the final season of Vanderpump Rules, Katie Maloney's new boyfriend, and much more! (00:00 - 43:00)

And then we break down everything that happened on The Real Housewives of New York City season 15, episode 3 - "Dramamine Drama". (43:00)

As well as the latest wonderful episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (S5 E5) - "Whitney Drew and Her Clues". (01:18:00)

And then finally but with the same amount of passion, Amy and Riley discuss the Real Housewives of Potomac season 9 episode 2 - "Double Trouble" (01:52:00) and the latest two episodes of the Real Housewives of Orange County. (02:12:15)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Ambush (Vanderpump Rules S5 E13 Recap)

Mon, 14 Oct 2024 18:39:11 -0000

This episode of Vanderpump Rules has everything - Ariana rides a horse! James gets hypnotized! Lisa finally paints the VIP room at SUR a perfect purple color! Jax gets frustrated when Brittany and her mother, Sherri, confront him about the rumors that he kissed his friend, John!

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The Ghost of Miller Cave (RHONY S15 E2, RHOSLC S5 E4, RHOP S9 E1 Recaps)

Fri, 11 Oct 2024 12:00:06 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Joker: Folie A Deux, Jen Shah getting out of prison early on good behavior, Bethenny Frankel's criticism of Kamala Harris' Call Her Daddy interview, and our final verdict on the Menendez Brothers case, and the latest updates on Vanderpump Rules' last season. (00:00 - 42:10)

And then we break down everything that happened on The Real Housewives of New York City season 15, episode 2 - "You Can Run But You Can't Ride'. (42:45)

As well as the latest wonderful episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (S5 E4) - "The Epiphany". (01:30:19)

And then finally but with the same amount of passion, Amy and Riley discuss the latest season 9 premiere of The Real Housewives of Potomac. (02:05:08)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Jax's Roast (Vanderpump Rules S5 E12 Recap)

Mon, 07 Oct 2024 17:09:34 -0000

Jax Taylor gets absolutely roasted at his 37th birthday party.

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Jenna, Jessel, and Sai, Oh My! (RHONY S15 E1, RHOSLC S5 E3, and RHOC S18 E13 Recaps)

Fri, 04 Oct 2024 12:00:58 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the scary films they've been watching, Jax Taylor accidentally giving up custody of his son Cruz, Stassi Schroeder and Katie Maloney's Avatar-themed birthday party for Peter Madrigal, and much more! (00:00 - 45:00)

And then we break down everything that happened on the season 15 premiere of The Real Housewives of New York City. (45:00)

As well as the latest wonderful episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (S5 E3) - "Basketball, Bobbleheads, and the Brow Girl". (01:27:30)

And then finally but with the same amount of passion, Amy and Riley discuss the latest episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County (S18 E13) - "You Are Cordially Not Invited". (02:05:00)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: The D Pic (Vanderpump Rules S5 E11 Recap)

Mon, 30 Sep 2024 12:00:02 -0000

Kristen Doute performs a legendary sketch comedy showcase at the Hollywood Improv, but unfortunately she uses a photo of Jax Taylor's penis as one of the props. But that won't stop Katie Maloney from having her bridal shower in Eagle Rock!

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Tamra's Keeper (RHOSLC S5 E2 and RHOC S18 E12 Recaps)

Fri, 27 Sep 2024 12:00:58 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss going to the Megalopolis IMAX screening and their thoughts on the film, the latest troubling news regarding Diddy, Eric Adams getting indicted and what that means for the Big Apple's rat population, and much more! (00:00 - 01:02:00)

And then we break down every single thing that happened on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 5 episode 2 - "Walking a Tightrope". (01:02:06)

And then finally, Amy and Riley discuss the latest episode of Real Housewives of Orange County season 18 episode 12 - "The Elephant in the Room". (01:43:04)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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What Ever Happened to Baby Gorgeous (RHOSLC and RHOC Recaps)

Fri, 20 Sep 2024 12:00:28 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the continuing adventures of the Four Seasons Baby, Brat Fall, the future of Vanderpump Rules, Stassi Schroeder's New York Times bestselling book, the feud between Brock Davies and Jax Taylor, and even more than that. 00:00 - 56:29)

And then we break down every single thing that happened on the premiere episode of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 5. (56:29)

And then finally, Amy and Riley discuss the latest episode of Real Housewives of Orange County season 18 episode 11 - "Singled Out". (1:50:17)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Johnny J's Disparaging Ways (RHOC S18 E10 Recap)

Fri, 13 Sep 2024 12:00:25 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! First off, sorry for Riley's audio. That will never happen again.

On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Jax Taylor renting an apartment, Kristen Doute and Luke Broderick getting engaged, The Valley season 2, Bill Murray's antics on set, and even more stuff that's similar in spirit to that. (00:00 - 51:38)

And then we break down every single thing that happened on the latest episode of Real Housewives of Orange County season 18 episode 10 - "Catfights and Catwalks". (51:40)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: No Show (Vanderpump Rules S5 E8 Recap)

Mon, 09 Sep 2024 20:57:07 -0000

We are back and this week we're discussing Vanderpump Rules season 5, episode 8 - "No Show". In this "bridge" episode of VPR, Jax Taylor is back on supplements and it's causing his breast to get lumps again. Also, James Kennedy has started drinking NyQuil.

And most importantly, Lala Kent wants to make sure she knows exactly who will be going on Ariana's birthday trip this year. She's pretty sure Tom and Ariana are going. But are Jax and Brittany going as well?

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Beador's Bloody Blackmail (RHOC S18 E9 Recap)

Fri, 06 Sep 2024 12:00:02 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Jax and Brittany's divorce, The Valley season 2, Lala Kent having her second baby, John Janssen and Alexis Bellino getting engaged, Vicki Gunvalson and Tamra Judge's feud, and even more than that! (00:00 - 59:29)

And then we break down every single thing that happened on the latest episode of Real Housewives of Orange County - "A Picture Worth a Thousand Words". (59:30)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: The Sociopath Test (Vanderpump Rules S5 E7 Recap)

Tue, 03 Sep 2024 22:38:23 -0000

Stassi, Kristen, and Katie continue their reign of terror against Scheana. Also, Stassi confirms definitively that Jax is a sociopath.

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Turtle Time Trip: Amy and Riley Go To Amsterdam (RHOBH S5 E15-18 Recap)

Fri, 30 Aug 2024 12:00:28 -0000

On this special episode of Turtle Time while Riley is on paternity leave - Amy and Riley discuss RHOBH's Amsterdam trip. If you want to join us on this journey, the Amsterdam trip is featured on RHOBH season 5 from episodes 15 - 18.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Pride (Vanderpump Rules S5 E6 Recap)

Tue, 27 Aug 2024 17:35:43 -0000

In the wake of the terrorist attack on Pulse nightclub, Lisa and the cast of Vanderpump Rules stand strong and celebrate Pride.

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Turtle Time Trip: Amy and Riley Visit "Scary Island" (RHONY S3 E11-13 Recap)

Fri, 23 Aug 2024 12:00:37 -0000

On this special episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley dive into one of the most iconic trips in Real Housewives history - RHONY's "Scary Island". If you want to join us on this journey, the "Scary Island" trip is featured on RHONY season 3 from episodes 11 - 13.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Cold Feet (Vanderpump Rules S5 E5 Recap)

Tue, 20 Aug 2024 17:50:24 -0000

Tom Schwartz gets cold feet and thinks deeply about whether or not he wants to be married to Katie until death do they part.

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Johnny J and His Missing 75k (RHONJ and RHOC Recaps)

Fri, 16 Aug 2024 12:00:21 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Raygun's amazing Olympics performance, Stassi Schroeder on Vanderpump Villa season 2, Stassi Says, Jax Taylor's Cameo controversy, and Countess Luann's wonderful trip to Scotland with Tilda Swinton. (00:00 - 54:44)

And then we break down every single thing that happened on the Real Housewives of New Jersey special "Off the Rails" (54:45) as well as the latest two episodes of Real Housewives of Orange County. (01:15:49)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Thirsty Girls (Vanderpump Rules S5 E4 Recap)

Mon, 12 Aug 2024 19:44:22 -0000

James Kennedy is concerned about how thirsty some of the girls are around him, but he unfortunately doesn't have enough water to quench their thirst.

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The Judas and the Giudice (RHONJ Season 14 Finale Recap)

Fri, 09 Aug 2024 12:00:55 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Lindsay Hubbard's nursery, what the season finale of RHONJ means for the future of the franchise, Riley watching Absolute Power before bed, and much, much more. (00:00 - 44:38)

And then we break down every single thing that happened on the Real Housewives of New Jersey season 14 finale. (44:39)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Call It Like I See It (Vanderpump Rules S5 E3 Recap)

Mon, 05 Aug 2024 17:19:14 -0000

Katie calls it like she sees it in terms of seeing Lala as someone who is dating a married woman. Also, Tom Schwartz gets his revenge on Jax and Tom by making them eat steaks that he put in his ass.

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Louie's Devotion (RHONJ and RHOC Recaps)

Fri, 02 Aug 2024 12:00:42 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the Olympics, the future of cinema, Jax Taylor checking in to a mental health facility, and even more than just those things. (00:00 - 49:15)

And then we break down every single thing that happened on The Real Housewives of Orange County (54:22) and The Real Housewives of New Jersey - S14 E12 (01:46:42)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: What Went Down (Vanderpump Rules S5 E2 Recap)

Mon, 29 Jul 2024 18:17:48 -0000

The staff at SUR are still reeling from Kentucky Muffin-Gate. But will this turmoil affect World Dog Day?

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How Do You Solve a Problem Like Teresa (RHONJ S14 E11 Recap)

Fri, 26 Jul 2024 12:00:44 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Twisters in 4DX, Brat Summer, Justin Timberlake as well as the latest RHONJ news and Teresa Guidice's call for less hate in Bravo universe. (00:00 - 56:49)

And then we break down every single thing that happened on The Real Housewives of New Jersey - S14 E11 (56:50).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Summer Bodies (Vanderpump Rules S5 E1 Recap)

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 16:31:57 -0000

Summer may just be getting started, but it's already hot as hell at SUR! Join Amy and Riley as we discuss the wonderful season 5 premiere of Vanderpump Rules.

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The Long Legs of Justice (RHOC and RHONJ Recaps)

Fri, 19 Jul 2024 12:00:07 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Tom Sandoval suing and unsuing Ariana Madix, Chef Penny suing Something About Her, Jax and Ramona making love to each other, the new film, Long Legs, and much, much more. (00:00 - 50:43)

And then we break down every single thing that happened on The Real Housewives of Orange County - S18 E2 (53:44) as well as a a discussion about the current state of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. (01:40:49)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Vanderpump Rules Season 4 Reunion Recap

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 12:05:08 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss all three parts of the chaotic season 4 reunion and say goodbye to another wonderful season of Vanderpump Rules.

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Nightmare at Shannon’s Beador (RHOC Season 18 Premiere Recap)

Fri, 12 Jul 2024 12:00:14 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss all of the Bravo news that we missed while we were on vacation - Lindsay Hubbard's new boyfriend, Bethenny Frankel running around the Hamptons, and much, much more. (00:00 - 35:20)

And then we break down every single thing that happened on the wonderful Season 18 premiere of The Real Housewives of Orange County. (39:55)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Push Comes to Shove (Vanderpump Rules S4 E20 Recap)

Wed, 10 Jul 2024 17:38:50 -0000

The season 4 finale of Vanderpump Rules is here! Lisa Vanderpump lets all of her employees celebrate Tom and Katie's engagement party at her home. Kristen gives a wonderful speech to honor her two friends, and James shows off his handmade version of the Pump Sessions album he's been working on. The feeling of love and camaraderie carries with them to SUR, where most of the cast members decide to move forward and forgive each other.

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Jax and Brittany: A Retrospective (Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky Recap)

Thu, 04 Jul 2024 12:00:59 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. Turtle Time is on vacation! On this week's pre-recorded episode, Amy and Riley finally take on Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky and marvel in its power and beauty.

If you enjoyed this pre-recorded episode, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Just the T.I.P. (Vanderpump Rules S4 E19 Recap)

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 17:10:37 -0000

Lisa Vanderpump will let Katie use Villa Rosa for her engagement party, but will not allow Kristen and Stassi to come. Tom Sandoval and his friend shoot a music video for their hit song, Touch in Public. And also, for some reason, Jax decides that he really wants to end his relationship with Brittany.

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The Secrets of Something About Her

Thu, 27 Jun 2024 12:00:50 -0000

Amy and Riley are on summer vacation, but you won't even notice as they discuss their delightful experience at Something About Her and also uncover the secrets of Vanderpump Rules season 11.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Too Little, Too Late (Vanderpump Rules S4 E18 Recap)

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 16:39:00 -0000

Katie and Stassi test the waters of becoming friends again despite Scheana, Jax, and Lisa's warnings.

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The State of New Jersey (RHONJ Season 14 Recap)

Thu, 20 Jun 2024 12:00:05 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Riley and Amy discuss the first six episodes of Real Housewives of New Jersey season 14 and the state of RHONJ as a franchise.

If you potentially enjoyed this episode for some reason, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Beach, Please (Vanderpump Rules S4 E17 Recap)

Mon, 17 Jun 2024 14:52:11 -0000

All hell breaks loose at the beach when Ariana finds out that Kristen Doute performed untrained and unsanctioned sketch comedy at a comedy club.

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The Trial of Lindsay Hubbard (Summer House Season 8 Reunion Part 2 Recap)

Fri, 14 Jun 2024 12:00:21 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On today's special episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the shocking final part of the Summer House season 8 reunion. What a wild Summer House journey we've all been a part of.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Bitch Ghost (Vanderpump Rules S4 E16 Recap)

Mon, 10 Jun 2024 17:39:12 -0000

Jax Taylor officially makes the claim that he's the number 1 guy in the group. Meanwhile the rest of the group is haunted by a ghost from their past.

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The Summer Before The Fall (Summer House S8 Reunion Part 1 and The Valley S1 Finale Recaps)

Fri, 07 Jun 2024 20:43:52 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss part 1 of the Summer House season 8 reunion as well as The Valley finale.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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A Conversation with West Wilson

Wed, 05 Jun 2024 12:00:53 -0000

Amy and Riley Present: A Conversation with Summer House's West Wilson.

If you enjoyed this conversation with West Wilson, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear our exclusive series recapping Vanderpump Rules each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Pucker & Pout (Vanderpump Rules S4 E15 Recap)

Mon, 03 Jun 2024 15:12:18 -0000

We're back in the blog era, Villa Rosa VIPs! Katie is celebrating her new enterprise, Pucker and Pout, with a huge party. But unfortunately James, Lala, and Faith's invites seem to have gotten lost in the mail...

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A RadHouse is Not a Home (Summer House Season 8 Finale Recap)

Fri, 31 May 2024 12:00:14 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley confidently discuss the Summer House season 8 finale.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Tom Sandoval and His Badge of Shame (Vanderpump Rules Season 11 Reunion Part 3 and Summer House Recaps)

Thu, 30 May 2024 12:00:31 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Riley and Amy discuss meeting West Wilson and him being one of the nicest people in human history, and then they discuss the war that is bubbling up between Loverboy and Spritz Society. (00:00 - 29:39)

And then they dive into the Vanderpump Rules season 11 reunion part 3 (30:00), and Summer House season 8 episode 14 - From Dusk till Donne. (1:53:17).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Sex, Lies and Stassi's Videotape (Vanderpump Rules S4 E14 Recap)

Mon, 27 May 2024 22:13:00 -0000

Lisa Vanderpump admits to participating in a blackmail scheme to get Stassi's sex tape back so that one of her former employees won't sell it to tabloids.

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The Haunting of Big Bear Lake (Vanderpump Rules Season 11 Reunion Part 2, The Valley, and Summer House Recaps)

Thu, 23 May 2024 12:00:25 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Riley and Amy discuss the opening of Something About Her, Riley reads a new installment of The Reality of a Scandal, they discuss Jesse Lally on Watch What Happens Live, and Riley going to Jax's Studio City. (00:00 - 34:54)

And then they dive into the Vanderpump Rules season 11 reunion part 2 (35:00), The Valley season 1 episode 10 (1:35:38), and Summer House season 8 episode 13 (2:22:15).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: The Bitch is Back (Vanderpump Rules S4 E13 Recap)

Mon, 20 May 2024 14:49:21 -0000

As Tom Sandoval and Jax Taylor's birthday trip devolves into a drunken nightmare, Stassi Schroeder comes back into the Vanderpump Rules universe like a powerful beam of pure light.

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She Gave Them Lala (Vanderpump Rules Season 11 Reunion Part 1, The Valley, and Summer House Recaps)

Thu, 16 May 2024 12:00:08 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Riley and Amy discuss Kyle Richards seeing a mouse on her car, TurtleCon 2024, and much more. (00:00 - 26:32)

And then they dive into the Vanderpump Rules season 11 reunion part 1 (26:32) and then they give their brief thoughts on The Valley (1:49:46) and Summer House (2:17:53).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Leis, Liquor and Lies (Vanderpump Rules S4 E12 Recap)

Mon, 13 May 2024 18:06:24 -0000

Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval show the world how two people can have the best birthday trip of all time.

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Ariana Goes to Applebee's (Vanderpump Rules Season 11 Finale, Summer House S8 E11 Recaps)

Thu, 09 May 2024 12:00:40 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Riley and Amy discuss various fast food deals and stuff that you can buy at Dodger Stadium and then they talk about Lala Kent possibly becoming a cast member on The Valley (00:00 - 8:40)

And then they dive into the Vanderpump Rules season 11 finale and dissect it like nothing you could ever imagine (8:40) and then they give their brief thoughts on Summer House season 8 episode 11. (2:40:19).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Fully Engaged (Vanderpump Rules S4 E11 Recap)

Tue, 07 May 2024 00:05:51 -0000

Stassi Schroeder has been seen skulking around SUR waiting for the perfect time to reclaim the group that she forsook. But she'll have to sit down with Lisa first...

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Scary Scandoval Waters (Vanderpump Rules S11 E14, Summer House S8 E10, and The Valley S1 E7 Recaps)

Thu, 02 May 2024 12:00:27 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Riley and Amy discuss the film Challengers, Something About Her officially opening, Vanderpump Rules being put on pause, Riley's wife being put on the witness stand to defend Ariana Madix in the court of law against Rachel Leviss, and much more! (00:00 - 38:14)

And then they dive into the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 11 episode 14 (38:14), The Valley - season 1 episode 7 (1:40:24), and then Summer House - season 8 episode 10 (2:10:00).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: No Strings Attached (Vanderpump Rules S4 E10 Recap)

Mon, 29 Apr 2024 12:00:29 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss Vanderpump Rules season 4, episode 10 - "No Strings Attached" - in which Jax and Lala decide to flirt with each other to an almost unfathomable degree, and Tom Schwartz pulls off an elaborate proposal at Rock & Reilly’s.

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Jax's Masterpiece (Vanderpump Rules S11 E13, The Valley S1 E6, and Summer House S8 E9 Recaps)

Thu, 25 Apr 2024 12:00:56 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Riley discusses going Chili's to get the famous Katie Maloney and Scheana Shay Espresso Martinis, and the Something About Her opening. (00:00 - 22:33)

And then they dive into the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 11 episode 13 (25:33), The Valley - season 1 episode 6 (1:56:54), and then Summer House - season 8 episode 9 (2:40:05).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: What Happened in Vegas (Vanderpump Rules S4 E9 Recap)

Mon, 22 Apr 2024 12:00:46 -0000

Instead of cheating on their girlfriends in Vegas, Tom Schwartz and Tom Sandoval decide to get tattoos on their asses to honor their commitment to them.

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Tequila Brittany (Vanderpump Rules S11 E12, The Valley S1 E5, Summer House S8 E8 Recap)

Thu, 18 Apr 2024 12:00:51 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss all of the Real Housewives firings and dip into the Bravo Vault. (00:00 - 25:20)

And then they dive into the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 11 episode 12 (25:20), The Valley - season 1 episode 5 (1:38:07), and then Summer House - season 8 episode 8 (2:09:16).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Dirty Thirty (Vanderpump Rules S4 E8 Recap)

Mon, 15 Apr 2024 11:00:19 -0000

Ariana wants to celebrate her 30th birthday weekend with the person she loves the most, but apparently there's like a huge construction yard in Vegas where you can like crush shit with bulldozers.

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The Sad Story of Joseph and T-Money (Vanderpump Rules, Summer House, and The Valley Recaps)

Thu, 11 Apr 2024 12:00:23 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss France, Notre Dame, Pirates of the Caribbean, the mid-season trailer of Summer House, and Jax and Brittany's faltering marriage. (00:00 - 32:31)

And then they dive into the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 11 episode 11 (32:31), Summer House - season 8 episode 7 (1:18:34), and The Valley - season 1 episode 4 (1:50:55).

And finally, Amy and Riley discuss #ClayGate - the infamous moment from 2003 when Clay Aiken put his hand over Kelly Ripa's mouth and the fallout.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Spit Take (Vanderpump Rules S4 E7 Recap)

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 03:30:46 -0000

James Kennedy continues his reign of terror upon the Vanderpump Rules universe, and Lisa Vanderpump shares the wonders of SUR Restaurant with 12 homeless teens.

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Brock's Big Day at the Beach (Vanderpump Rules S11 E10, The Valley S1 E3, and Vanderpump Villa Recaps)

Fri, 05 Apr 2024 12:00:33 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Jeremy Madix getting engaged and Jax Taylor criticizing Vanderpump Rules. (00:00 - 42:05)

And then they dive into the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules (season 11 episode 10), and The Valley (season 1, episode 3).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Love Bites (Vanderpump Rules S4 E6 Recap)

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 15:03:25 -0000

Lisa Vanderpump planned two perfect parties for Gay Pride and she's expecting everything to run smoothly. But unbeknownst to her, James Kennedy is threatening to ruin everything by showing off all of the sexual-related bites he got after having sex with one of Lisa's employees.

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From Hubby to Wifey (Summer House S8 E6 Recap)

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 21:21:54 -0000

iI's a special episode, little turtle cuties. On this episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Vanderpump Villa (which airs Monday, April 1st on Hulu) and the latest beautiful episode of Summer House (Season 8 Episode 6) Start Your Engines.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Disillusionment of Lala Kent (Vanderpump Rules S11 E9, The Valley S1 E2, and Summer House S8 E5 Recaps)

Thu, 28 Mar 2024 12:00:44 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Chicago, Ariana Madix buying a $1.6M home near us, Candiace Dillard Bassett quitting Real Housewives of Potomac and even more than that. (00:00 - 37:27)

And then they dive into the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules (37:30), The Valley (02:26:12), and then honor everyone that took the Summer House challenge with us as well (02:38:19).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Cock of the Walk (Vanderpump Rules S4 E5 Recap)

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 18:19:37 -0000

Jax Taylor always considered himself the cock of the walk, but there's a new rooster in town - James Kennedy - that is constantly ruffling his feathers.

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Jax Taylor Reborn! (Vanderpump Rules S11 E8 and The Valley Premiere)

Wed, 20 Mar 2024 12:00:45 -0000

It's Turtle Time After Dark, little turtle cuties! Amy and Riley stayed up late and discussed the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules (season 11 episode 8) and the premiere episode of The Valley.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Happily Never After (Vanderpump Rules S4 E4 Recap)

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 16:51:06 -0000

Amy and Riley overcame the Ides of March to bring you this very special recap of Vanderpump Rules. In this episode, Scheana hosts an intervention for her husband, Shay, and also James has a breakthrough in his couples' therapy session with Kristen.

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Old Carl Burns Down The House (Summer House S8 E4 Recap)

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 22:22:34 -0000

It's a special emegency episode, little turtle cuties. Amy and Riley discuss Summer House season 8 episode 4 and what it means for the future of Lindsay and Carl.

If you enjoyed this episode (which we know is probably not the case), join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Many Gifts of Tom Sandoval (Vanderpump Rules S11 E7 and Summer House S8 E3 Recaps)

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 12:00:16 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the Oscars, The Valley trailer, Kate Middleton, Rachel Goes Rogue, and Kristen Doute saying she got thousands of dollars from Tom Sandoval on Paypal. (00:00 - 47:51)

And then they dive into the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules (53:42) and then they recap the latest episode of Summer House as well. (02:16:39)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Pretty Little Lies (Vanderpump Rules S4 E3 Recap)

Tue, 12 Mar 2024 16:48:11 -0000

Scheana Shay lets her friends and Lisa know that she is experiencing some difficult issues in her marriage. But once those issues come to light, will Lisa still be able to start a rivalry between her SUR employees and her Pump employees?

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Scheana Shay Has Lost Her Way (Vanderpump Rules S11 E6 Recap)

Thu, 07 Mar 2024 13:00:42 -0000

Amy and Riley unfortunately had a lot of issues recording remotely this week so the episode quality suffered tremendously. We almost didn't want to put this out, but we thought some Little Turtle Cuties might derive some ironic enjoyment out of seeing how badly things went. Ultimately we thought if we even prompted one smile or laugh it was better than putting nothing out.

So sorry for this one, Turtle Time community. We'll be back next week with a much better episode.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: New Blood (Vanderpump Rules S4 E2 Recap)

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 13:00:10 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss a haunting scene where Tom and Ariana buy a new couch together.

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Hubb House of Horrors (Summer House and RHOBH Reunion Part 1 Recaps)

Sat, 02 Mar 2024 02:05:02 -0000

There's breaking news, little turtle cuties. On this episode of Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Jax and Brittany's separation and the lawsuit Rachel Leviss has filed against Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix. (00:00 - 38:38)

And then they dive into the latest episode of Summer House season 8 episode 2 (38:38) and then the lackluster Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion part 1. (01:31:13)

If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Saving Mr. Banks (Vanderpump Rules, Summer House, and Beverly Hills Recaps)

Thu, 29 Feb 2024 13:00:29 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the latest allegations against Andy Cohen and Bravo as well as the new trailer for The Valley. (00:00 - 44:11)

And then they dive into the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules season 11 episode 5 - Lake It or Break It. (46:10) the Summer House season 8 premiere (02:04:13) and the Beverly Hills finale. (02:37:52)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Playtime's Over (Vanderpump Rules S4 E1 Recap)

Mon, 26 Feb 2024 19:54:29 -0000

This season of Vanderpump Rules has everything you could ever want. Lala is here! Brittany has come! Jax's Mom visits! There is so much power in VPR season 4, and Amy and Riley are ready to harness it all. So sit back and relax as they dive into season 4 and remain forever changed by what they witness.

If you like this episode, please tell us you liked it and submit questions for future installments. If you absolutely detested it, give us a shameful #turnoffturtletalk.

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The Most Hated Man in America (Vanderpump Rules S11 E4 Recap)

Thu, 22 Feb 2024 13:00:11 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Tom Sandoval's New York Times profile and Rachel Leviss' latest episode of her podcast. (00:00 - 32:23)

And then they dive into the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules season 11 episode 4 - Dog Days of Summer. (32:23) And then discuss the state of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills franchise. (02:18:54)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Turtle Talk - Episode 1

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 20:43:54 -0000

Amy and Riley are proud to present our first episode of Turtle Talk, in which we answer questions from our Little Turtle Cuties and Villa Rosa VIPs. We answered many of your most burning questions and hopefully provided moments of mirth and deep insight.

If you like this episode, please tell us you liked it and submit questions for future installments. If you absolutely detested it, give us a shameful #turnoffturtletalk.

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Scheana Shay Goes Y2K (Vanderpump Rules S11 E3 Recap)

Thu, 15 Feb 2024 13:00:02 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss bindles, H**o code, Porsha Williams returning to RHOA, Winter House on pause, and the latest Summer House news. (00:00 - 42:12)

And then they dive into the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules - You're Not the Queen of the Group. (42:12)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Vanderpump Rules Season 3 Reunion Part 1 + 2 Recap

Mon, 12 Feb 2024 16:52:38 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss the powerful season 3 reunion and officially say goodbye to one of the best Vanderpump Rules seasons of all time.

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The Return of Tom Sandoval (Vanderpump Rules S11 E2 Recap)

Thu, 08 Feb 2024 13:00:29 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the RHONY casting rumors, Kandi leaving RHOA, the Grammy's, and then Riley reads part 3 of The Reality of a Scandal. (00:00 - 01:05:15)

And then they dive into the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules - The Ultimate Betrayal. (01:05:20)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Descent of Lala Kent (Vanderpump Rules Season 11 Premiere Recap)

Thu, 01 Feb 2024 13:00:12 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz on Nick Viall's podcast and Rachel Goes Rogue Chapter 5. And then Riley reads Part 2 of The Reality of a Scandal. (00:00 - 01:07:39)

And then they dive into the Vanderpump Rules season 11 premiere. (01:07:40)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Dethroned (Vanderpump Rules S3 E18 Recap)

Mon, 29 Jan 2024 18:36:12 -0000

It's the Vanderpump Rules season 3 finale! In this episode, Lisa Vanderpump gathers all of her friends and employees to celebrate SUR's 10 year anniversary. Unbeknownst to her, the Vanderpump Rules cast members use this as an opportunity to discuss conflict with each other.

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The Troll of Salt Lake (Southern Charm, RHOSLC, and RHOBH Recaps)

Fri, 26 Jan 2024 13:00:51 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the Scandoval Lifetime movie they're writing, the Oscars, Paul Giamatti, Stassi Schroeder declining to be on The Valley, and even more than that. (00:00 - 00:50:44)

And then they dive into part 3 of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 4 reunion (00:51:00), the final part of the Southern Charm season 9 reunion (01:50:04), and then latest episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (02:30:40).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Jax Cracks (Vanderpump Rules S3 E17 Recap)

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 13:00:14 -0000

Jax Taylor finally unburdens his heavy soul and reveals to his friends that Tom Sandoval made love to Miami Girl. But when Scheana hears the truth, will she truly listen?

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Shep's Rose and Shep's Thorn (Southern Charm, RHOSLC, and RHOBH Recaps)

Fri, 19 Jan 2024 13:00:24 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the Vanderpump Rules season 11 premiere, Rachel Goes Rouge episode 2, The Valley trailer, the Kory and Sam break-up, and much more! (00:00 - 01:17:00)

And then they dive into the Southern Charm season 9 reunion part 1 (01:19:27), part 2 of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 4 reunion, (02:16:50), and the latest episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (02:59:24).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Ring on a String (Vanderpump Rules S3 E16 Recap)

Mon, 15 Jan 2024 19:25:38 -0000

Scheana's wedding fills the air with so much love that Tom Schwartz decides to give Katie a ring on a string.

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The Rot of RadHouse (RHOSLC S4 Reunion Part 1 , RHOBH, and Southern Charm S9 Finale Recaps)

Fri, 12 Jan 2024 13:00:08 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the Summer House season 8 trailer, Rachel Goes Rouge, the film Poor Things, the Golden Globes, and much more. (00:00 - 59:27)

And then they dive into the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 4 reunion (59:27), the season finale of Southern Charm (01:30:00), and the latest episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (02:17:00).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: For Better or Worse (Vanderpump Rules S3 E15 Recap)

Mon, 08 Jan 2024 18:52:27 -0000

Scheana and Shay decide to finally get married to each other and they have gathered all of their friends to celebrate. But if Lisa Vanderpump and all of her staff are at their wedding, who will be working at SUR?

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The Unmasking of Monica (RHOSLC, RHOBH, and Southern Charm Recaps)

Fri, 05 Jan 2024 13:00:18 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Gypsy Rose Blanchard being Stassi Schroeder's cousin, Lisa Vanderpump's new show, Vanderpump Villa, Tom Sandoval taking a photo with a tiger in Thailand, and much more! (00:00 - 59:14)

And then they dive into the stunning Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 4 finale (59:14), the latest episodes of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (02:07:14) and then last week's episode of Southern Charm. (02:39:45).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Judgement Day (Vanderpump Rules S3 E14 Recap)

Wed, 03 Jan 2024 17:54:39 -0000

Amy and Riley are ringing in the new year by recapping "Judgement Day". In this episode, Lisa has a sit down with Kristen Doute and decides her fate as a waiter at Sur. But will Kristen Doute let all old acquaintance be forgot?

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Patreon Teaser: Miami Vices (Vanderpump Rules S3 E13 Recap)

Mon, 25 Dec 2023 17:31:18 -0000

Happy holidays, our little turtle cuties. On this special day, Amy and Riley recap the "Miami Girl" episode of Vanderpump Rules and watch in horror as Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix lie through their teeth about every aspect of the scandal. Make Christmas day extra special by spending time with Amy and Riley as they recap one of the most consequential episodes in Vanderpump Rules history.

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The Last House of Winter (Winter House Season 3 Finale and Reunion Recap)

Fri, 22 Dec 2023 13:00:15 -0000

Happy holidays, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Patricia Altschul, Olivia Flowers, Elvis, January 6th, and much more!

And then, they dive into the Winter House season finale and reunion.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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The Legacy of RHONY (Southern Charm and Ultimate Girls Trip: RHONY Legacy)

Wed, 20 Dec 2023 13:00:44 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Riley's trip to Schwartz and Sandy's and Jax's Studio City as well as the new details surrounding Scheana Shay and Tom Schwartz' mysterious kiss. (00:00 - 22:38)

And then, they dive into the latest episode of Southern Charm (22:38), and Ultimate Girls Trip: RHONY Legacy. (01:18:02).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: A Stand Against Stassi (Vanderpump Rules S3 E12 Recap)

Mon, 18 Dec 2023 16:59:35 -0000

A house divided cannot stand and either can a restaurant. Even one as powerful as SUR. In this episode, Stassi isolates herself even further from the Vanderpump Rules cast when she loses the last friend she had left... And also Peter and Vail go on a date.

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Three Hours of Rumors and Lies (Southern Charm, RHOSLC, RHOBH, and Winter House Recaps)

Fri, 15 Dec 2023 13:00:30 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Vanderpump Rules: A Decade of Rumors and Lies, the sneak peeks of Vanderpump Rules season 11, and Kim and Kroy Biermann's police body cam footage. (00:00 - 59:26)

And then dive into the latest episodes of Southern Charm (59:27), Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (01:30:07), Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (02:15:37), and Winter House (02:51:28).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Turtle Time Breaking News: Vanderpump Rules Season 11 Trailer Discussion

Wed, 13 Dec 2023 00:01:51 -0000

It's a Turtle Time Breaking News Report! Amy and Riley exhaustively discuss every aspect of the Vanderpump Rules season 11 trailer and officially enter the new Vanderpump Rules era.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Tears Over Miami (Vanderpump Rules S3 E11 Recap)

Mon, 11 Dec 2023 18:20:56 -0000

When Kristen Doute wishes death upon Ariana Madix, Tom Sandoval must do everything within in his power to stop it. Even if that means letting tears pour all over Miami...

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Kyle and Her Sisters (RHOSLC, RHOBH, and Winter House Recaps)

Fri, 08 Dec 2023 13:00:50 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Alexis Bellino and John Janssen dating, Ariana Madix on Dancing with the Stars, and the start of a new Roxie Hart. (00:00 - 35:48)

And then dive into the latest episodes of Southern Charm (35:50), Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (01:10:25), Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (01:29:51), and Winter House (02:01:10).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Bachelorette Beach Party (Vanderpump Rules S3 E10 Recap)

Mon, 04 Dec 2023 19:43:41 -0000

When a manager at Pump quits, Lisa must do the unthinkable - hire her daughter, Pandora, for a day. But will Pump ever recover from the loss?

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Amy and Riley and Rachel Leviss Go Rogue (RHOSLC, RHOBH, and Winter House Recaps)

Fri, 01 Dec 2023 13:00:39 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Tom Sandoval on Special Forces, Ariana Madix on Dancing with the Stars, NeNe Leakes distancing herself from the Reality Reckoning, and much more! (00:00 - 48:00)

Then they discuss Rachel Leviss going rogue (48:00), and then dive into the latest episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (01:02:33), the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (02:00:50), and Winter House (02:29:37).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: What Happens in San Diego... (Vanderpump Rules S3 E9 Recap)

Mon, 27 Nov 2023 16:17:19 -0000

What happens in San Diego... could ultimately wreak havoc upon Lisa Vanderpump's restaurant empire and leave it in ruins.

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Tom Schwartz Is Out of Sorts (Southern Charm, RHOSLC, RHOP, and Winter House Recaps)

Fri, 24 Nov 2023 13:00:19 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Leonardo DiCaprio owning a huge tortoise and that's why he dates younger women so that they can take care of it after he dies. (00:00 - 28:11)

Then they discuss the new season of Real Housewives of Potomac (30:30), the latest episode of Southern Charm (49:52), the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (01:38:43), and Winter House (02:03:48).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Mind the Jax (Vanderpump Rules S3 E8 Recap)

Mon, 20 Nov 2023 16:13:02 -0000

Lisa Vanderpump must decide whether she should replace the nicoise with blackened seared ahi on Villa Blanca's menu...

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Sutton Stracke Blows Her Stack (Southern Charm, RHOSLC, RHOBH, and Winter House Recaps)

Fri, 17 Nov 2023 13:00:50 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Vanderpump Rules season 11, Kristen Doute's shocking revelation about Tom Schwartz pouring a drink on Katie's head, the potential Tom Sandoval reappraisal, and much more! (00:00 - 38:15)

Then they discuss the latest episodes of Southern Charm (38:30), the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (01:14:18), the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (01:48:54), and Winter House (02:18:33).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Life After BravoCon (Southern Charm, RHOBH, RHOSLC, and Winter House Recaps)

Fri, 10 Nov 2023 13:00:48 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss BravoCon 2023, Bethenny Frankel's BravoCon response, and Lindsay Hubbard's Nick Viall interview. (00:00 - 50:10)

Then they discuss the latest episodes of Southern Charm (53:12), the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (01:38:15), the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (01:56:08), and Winter House (02:16:12).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Amy and Riley's BravoCon Report

Thu, 09 Nov 2023 16:35:05 -0000

On Patreon, Amy and Riley present their full, completely candid BravoCon 2023 experience with all of the highs and horrific lows. We leave no stone unturned and no tea unspilled.

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Patreon Teaser: New Girl, Old Grudges (Vanderpump Rules S3 E7 Recap)

Mon, 06 Nov 2023 13:00:05 -0000

Stassi will not stop until everyone in the world hates Jax as much as she does. But will that hatred affect the new SUR hostess, Vail, or will she instead fall in love with him?

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The Road to BravoCon (Southern Charm, RHOBH, RHOSLC, Winter House, and RHONY Recaps)

Fri, 03 Nov 2023 12:00:18 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the Vanity Fair article detailing the horrors of Bravo, Bethenny Frankel's response, Ramona Singer's downfall, and Lindsay Hubbard's US Weekly interview.

Then they discuss the latest episode of Southern Charm, as well as this week's episodes of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Winter House, and then finally, the end of RHONY season 14.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Kiss and Tell (Vanderpump Rules S3 E6 Recap)

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 19:40:09 -0000

Lisa Vanderpump is summoning 50 Gay Mayors from all over the world to meet at Pump Restaurant. But will they want to attend when they find out Tom Schwartz might have cheated on Katie?

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The Return of the Kyles (Southern Charm, RHOBH, Winter House, and RHONY Recaps)

Fri, 27 Oct 2023 12:00:03 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the Mauricio Umansky and Emma Slater's dating rumors, Kyle Richards and Teddi Mellencamp on Watch What Happens Life, Ozempic, and even more than that. (00:00 - 52:00)

Then they discuss the season premiere of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (00:52:31), the latest episode of Southern Charm (01:33:30), the season premiere of Winter House (02:04:19), and then finally, the first part of the Real Housewives of New York City reunion (02:28:14)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: In the Doghouse (Vanderpump Rules S3 E5 Recap)

Mon, 23 Oct 2023 16:33:53 -0000

Jax Taylor tries to ruin Katie and Tom Schwartz' relationship by spreading fake rumors that she motorboated someone's penis at a party.

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Come One, Come All (Southern Charm, RHOSLC, and RHONY Recaps)

Fri, 20 Oct 2023 12:00:07 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the difference between horror and terror, the Chateau Marmont, Tom Sandoval on Special Forces, Riley's trip to Jax's Studio City, and even more than that! (00:00 - 44:00)

Then they discuss this week's episode of Southern Charm (44:04), the season finale of RHONY (01:28:35), and then finally the latest episode of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (02:06:10).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Jax Nose Best (Vanderpump Rules S3 E4 Recap)

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 12:00:13 -0000

Jax Taylor decides that he wants a new nose and not even Lisa Vanderpump can stop him. "Nose" matter how hard she tries...

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Aprés O.C. (Southern Charm, RHOSLC, RHOC, and RHONY Recaps)

Fri, 13 Oct 2023 12:00:51 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss scary monsters, Jax Taylor and Rachel Leviss' rival Ebay accounts, and much, much more. (00:00 - 32:00)

Then they discuss this week's episode of Southern Charm, RHOC, and RHOSLC, and then finally the latest episode of RHONY.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Grand Opening and Closure (Vanderpump Rules S3 E3 Recap)

Mon, 09 Oct 2023 16:38:17 -0000

It's the scariest month of the year, and Amy and Riley are back recapping a frightening episode of Vanderpump Rules.

When the cat is away, the mice will play! With Lisa Vanderpump's focus solely on her new restaurant, Pump, the children of SUR decide to wreak havoc while they still can.

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Brynns & Noble (Southern Charm, RHOSLC, RHOC, and RHONY Recaps)

Fri, 06 Oct 2023 12:00:01 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Tom Sandoval's latest podcast episode, Bethenny Frankel's continued reality reckoning, Stassi Schroeder's birth story, Jax and Kristen's spin-off show, and much, much more. (00:00 - 1:16:42)

Then they discuss this week's episode of Southern Charm (01:17:00), RHOC (01:41:45), and RHOSLC (02:06:01), and then finally the latest horrible episode of RHONY (02:36:55 in a run of horrible episodes.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: All Fired Up (Vanderpump Rules S3 E2 Recap)

Mon, 02 Oct 2023 18:44:03 -0000

When a horrible fight breaks out at Robert Earl's beautiful bar, Lisa Vanderpump begins to lose faith in the people she trusted the most...

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Tom Sandoval Unmasked (Southern Charm, RHOSLC, RHOC, and RHONY Recaps)

Fri, 29 Sep 2023 12:00:38 -0000

NOTE: This episode was recorded remotely (powered by Riverside FM) so it sounds like absolute dog shit. This will never happen again after this. Please forgive us.

Welcome back, little turtle cuties! On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Tom Sandoval's appearance on the Masked Singer, Special Forces: World's Toughest Test, his new podcast, and Ariana's performance on Dancing with the Stars. (00:00 - 59:28)

Then they discuss this week's episode of Southern Charm (01:00:25), RHOSLC (01:35:40), and RHOC (01:57:50), and then finally the latest dismal episode of RHONY. (02:22:35)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Instafight (Vanderpump Rules S3 E1 Recap)

Mon, 25 Sep 2023 12:00:45 -0000

Vanderpump Rules season 3 starts off like a rocket ship going to the moon and Amy and Riley are hanging on for dear life!

Lisa Vanderpump's restaurant empire was almost completely destroyed when her employees found out that Kristen and Jax had made love to each other twice. Many wrote off SUR Restaurant for good, thinking that no one would ever want to eat or drink there again upon hearing this revelation.

But somehow - life found a way back to SUR, and Lisa's employees are starting to heal. All of them except for the one that matters most...

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Tamra Judge’s Reign of Terror (Southern Charm, RHOSLC, RHOC, and RHONY Recaps)

Fri, 22 Sep 2023 12:00:35 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. Southern Charm is back and Amy and Riley are ready to be charmed. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss Shannon Beador's DUI, their dream unauthorized BravoCon panel, Bethenny Frankel's response to last week's episode, the films of Nicole Holofcener, and much, much more. (00:00 - 01:01:05)

Then they discuss this week's episode of Southern Charm (01:08:00), RHOSLC (01:57:50), and RHOC (02:35:17), and then finally the latest dismal episode of RHONY. (02:57:13)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Vanderpump Rules Season 2 Reunion + Secrets Revealed Recap

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 12:05:03 -0000

Amy and Riley raise their glasses as high as humanly possible and officially say goodbye to Vanderpump Rules season 2 by recapping this explosive, powerful two-part reunion. This reunion is under the Turtle Time magnifying glass and we analyze every inch of it until there's absolutely nothing left to parse.

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Amy and Riley's Death Oath (RHOSLC, RHOC, RHOA, and RHONY Recaps)

Fri, 15 Sep 2023 12:00:51 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the further fall of RadHouse aka the end of Lindsay Hubbard and Carl Radke's relationship, the Winter House season 3 trailer, Tom Sandoval on Masked Singer, Ariana Madix and Mauricio Umansky on Dancing with the Stars, Vicki Gunvalson being awarded a Wifetime Achievement Award, Frank Sinatra and much, much more. (00:00 - 01:08:11)

Then they discuss this week's episode of RHOSLC (01:09:40), RHOA (01:32:55), and RHOC (02:07:50), and then finally the latest dismal episode of RHONY and award the first ever Amy and Riley's Certified Stinker Award! (02:22:33).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: I Lied (Vanderpump Rules S2 E14 Recap)

Mon, 11 Sep 2023 16:46:24 -0000

Amy and Riley recap the season two finale of Vanderpump Rules. In this iconic episode, Lisa Vanderpump has gathered all of her best friends together to celebrate Scheana's engagement to Mike Shay. But what should be a fun, celebratory event is soon desecrated by an unfathomable secret - a secret that could tear this wonderful group of friends apart and potentially topple Lisa's restaurant empire forever.

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Amy and Riley in Outer Darkness (RHOSLC, RHOC, RHOA, and RHONY Recaps)

Fri, 08 Sep 2023 12:00:46 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss the Vanderpump Rules season 11 finale party where a man wreaked havoc upon Kyle Chan's beautiful whiskey launch party, the further fall of RadHouse, Jax's new House of Villains show, Mauricio on Dancing with the Stars, and much more. (00:00 - 00:55:16)

Then they discuss this week's episode of RHOSLC (00:55:20), RHOC (01:36:56), and RHOA (1:54:56), and then finally the latest dismal episode of RHONY (02:17:24).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Bitch Slap (Vanderpump Rules S2 E13 Recap)

Mon, 04 Sep 2023 12:10:17 -0000

Much like John Adams, Stassi Schroeder has come to an emotional crossroads when she learns that Kristen and Jax made love together twice while watching the Nicolas Winding Refn film, "Drive". Will Stassi take the road less traveled or will she succumb to her violent instincts? And will Lisa ever be able to repair the relationship between her best friends or will her restaurant empire finally topple from the weight of their bad decisions?

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RadHouse Has Fallen (RHONY, RHOC, and RHOA Recaps)

Fri, 01 Sep 2023 12:00:18 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley mourn the fall of RadHouse and the presumed end of Carl Radke and Lindsay Hubbard's relationship. They also discuss Craig Conover, Beyonce, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Vanderpump Rules, the films of Werner Herzog, and much more. (00:00 - 01:28:25)

Then they discuss this week's episode of RHONY (01:28:25), RHOA (02:06:36), and RHOC (02:36:26).

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you want to watch some of the fun things we do, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Til Death Do Us Part (Vanderpump Rules S2 E12 Recap)

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 12:00:51 -0000

The ice is starting to crack beneath the cast of Vanderpump Rules. Tom Sandoval admits that he kissed Ariana at the Golden Nugget and it sends a shockwave through Sur. Will Lisa Vanderpump be able to contain the chaos or will it topple her restaurant empire forever?

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The Redemption of Rachel Leviss (RHONY, RHOC, and RHOA Recaps)

Fri, 25 Aug 2023 12:00:39 -0000

Welcome back, little turtle cuties. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley greet each other perfectly and then dive in to Stassi Schroeder's analysis of the Rachel Leviss / Bethenny Frankel podcast. Amy and Riley then speculate if there is any possibility of a redemption arc for Rachel and offer advice of a potential way back for her.

Then they discuss this week's episode of RHONY (01:11:00), RHOC (02:16:00), and RHOA (02:36:50)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you love us, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: The Ultimatum (Vanderpump Rules S2 E11 Recap)

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 18:27:38 -0000

Amy and Riley watch in pure bliss as the cast of Vanderpump Rules continue to party in Cabo. In this powerful episode, Kristen gives Lisa Vanderpump the ultimatum of a lifetime. An ultimatum that Kristen may never recover from...

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Amy and Riley Mention It All (RHONY and RHOA Recaps)

Fri, 18 Aug 2023 12:00:17 -0000

Amy and Riley are back and they are ready to emulate Bethenny Frankel and mention it all!

On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley greet each other after a long absence and then discuss Amy's New York trip and Jax's Studio City (00:00 - 22:08) and then discuss Bethenny Frankel's interview with Rachel Leviss. (22:08)

After that action-packed convo, they discuss this week's RHONY (01:46:20) and this week's RHOA. (02:20:18)

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you love us, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Sur of the Border (Vanderpump Rules S2 E10 Recap)

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 18:54:10 -0000

Stassi has invited the cast of Vanderpump Rules to Cabo for her birthday and she wants to make sure everyone has the best time of their lives. Except for Scheana, Shay, Katie, and Jax. Pour yourself a michelada and listen as Amy and Riley recap the trip of a lifetime.

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Turtle Time Presents: The Top 10 Housewives of All Time

Fri, 11 Aug 2023 12:00:23 -0000

While Amy is away, the turtles will play. This week, Amy and Riley face the hardest challenge in Turtle Time history - officially ranking and evaluating their top 10 housewives. Who will come out on top? Who will be ignored? Which four housewives will have their faces etched upon Mount Rushmore to replace the presidents? All of those questions will be answered on this very special episode of Turtle Time.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you love us, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Rich People Annoy Me (Vanderpump Rules S2 E9 Recap)

Mon, 07 Aug 2023 19:42:24 -0000

Amy and Riley watch in pure pleasure as the Vanderpump Rules cast serve Lisa's friends one of the best dinners they've ever had and then watch in horror as Kristen gets the worst Tarot reading of her life.

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Welcome to Villa Grigio (RHONY, RHOC, and RHOA Recaps)

Fri, 04 Aug 2023 12:00:15 -0000

Welcome back, little turtles. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley greet one another and then discuss the Weinstein brothers, the secret to immortality, Tom Sandoval bringing photos of Raquel to his Special Forces show, and much, much more. (00:00 - 21:45)

Amy and Riley then discuss Real Housewives of New York (21:45), Real Housewives of Atlanta (00:59:02), and Real Housewives of Orange County (01:23:44)

This is the absolute embodiment of Turtle Time! If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you love us, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Sherlock Stassi (Vanderpump Rules S2 E8 Recap)

Mon, 31 Jul 2023 20:03:55 -0000

Stassi Schroeder is become Sherlock, solver of mysteries. And Amy and Riley revel in her powers of detection and talk about Barbie for 20 minutes.

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Jessel’s Hideous Horrible Granny Green Lingerie (RHONY, RHOA, RHOC, and Welcome to Crappie Lake Recaps)

Fri, 28 Jul 2023 12:00:12 -0000

Welcome back, little turtles. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley greet one another and then discuss the latest Vanderpump Rules news, Jax and Brittany's Spin-Off, Oppenheimer, Barbie, and much more. (00:00 - 50:42)

Amy and Riley then discuss Real Housewives of New York (51:00), Real Housewives of Orange County (01:36:12), Luann and Sonya: Welcome to Crappie Lake (02:21:00), and Real Housewives of Atlanta (02:30:52)

This is 2 hours and 47 minutes of pure Turtle Time! If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you love us, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Addicted (Vanderpump Rules S2 E7 Recap)

Mon, 24 Jul 2023 17:07:31 -0000

Amy and Riley watch in horror as Tequila Katie unleashes hell upon the cast of Vanderpump Rules.

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Amy and Riley Raise Hell (RHONY, RHOA, RHOC, and Welcome to Crappie Lake Recaps)

Fri, 21 Jul 2023 12:00:00 -0000

Welcome back, little turtles. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley say hello to each other and then discuss the latest Vanderpump Rules news, Wolf by Vanderpump, BravoCon, Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part One, and much more. (00:00 - 34:50)

Amy and Riley then discuss Real Housewives of New York (40:25), Luann and Sonya: Welcome to Crappie Lake (01:33:00), and Real Housewives of Atlanta (02:01:48) Real Housewives of Orange County (02:23:25)

This is 2 hours and 53 minutes of pure Turtle Time! If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you love us, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Lisa's Angels (Vanderpump Rules S2 E6 Recap)

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 17:08:02 -0000

The angels of Sur Restaurant finally get their wings at Pride.

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Amy and Riley's Follies (RHOA, RHOC, and Welcome to Crappie Lake Recaps)

Fri, 14 Jul 2023 12:00:28 -0000

Welcome back, little turtles. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley say hello to each other and then discuss Emo Nite, the latest Vanderpump Rules news, BravoCon, Catch Me If You Can, and much more. (00:00 - 1:03:43)

Amy and Riley then discuss Real Housewives of Atlanta (1:03:48), Real Housewives of Orange County (1:47:48), and Luann and Sonya: Welcome to Crappie Lake (2:14:07)

This is 2 hours and 51 minutes of pure Turtle Time! If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you love us, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Surlesque (Vanderpump Rules S2 E5 Recap)

Mon, 10 Jul 2023 14:36:32 -0000

Amy and Riley recap Guillermo celebrating the horniest 45th birthday in history.

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House of Divorce (RHOA S15 E1-8 Recap)

Fri, 07 Jul 2023 12:00:22 -0000

Welcome back, little turtles. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley greet each other warmly and then Riley discusses his back injury and then recounts his night at TomTom. (06:50)

Amy and Riley then discuss the Vanderpump Rules spin-off with Jax and Brittany (19:52) and then get breaking news about Kyle Richards and Mauricio separating. (48:10)

Amy and Riley then finally recap the first half of Real Housewives of Atlanta season 15. (01:10:03)

This is 2 hours and 2 minutes of pure Turtle Time! If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you love us, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Rumors (Vanderpump Rules S2 E4 Recap)

Mon, 03 Jul 2023 12:00:21 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss the rise and fall of their favorite store, Kitson, their formative high school years watching The O.C., motion smoothing, and then finally and fully get into recapping the Vanderpump Rules episode - "Rumors" - in which a scandalous rumor is circling around Sur.

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IMDuBrow (RHOC S17 E4)

Fri, 30 Jun 2023 12:00:53 -0000

Welcome back, little turtles. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley greet each other with the utmost respect and then discuss being a major part of Stassi and Ariana's birthdays (00:00 - 55:38)

Amy and Riley then definitively rank their favorite and least favorite Housewives taglines. (56:42)

And after that, they take a huge trip to Orange County in the form of discussing the RHOC S17 episode 4. (01:33:30)

This is 2 hours and 45 minutes of pure Turtle Time! If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you love us, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Only the Lonely (Vanderpump Rules S2 E3 Recap)

Mon, 26 Jun 2023 16:43:04 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss the power of music, old animated films, margaritas, and Peter Stormare. They also fully and utterly recap this episode of Vanderpump Rules which finds the cast taking a much-needed break in Lake Arrowhead with Stassi's mom.

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The First Cut is The Deepest (RHOC S17 E1-3 Recap)

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 12:00:12 -0000

Welcome back, little turtles. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley greet each other with the utmost respect and discuss the things that matter most to them - Vanderpump Rules updates, safety in crowds, Tom Sandoval in a submersible, Fatwas, Mount Everest, and a Catania & Conover update. (00:00 - 31:10)

Amy and Riley then discuss Jax Taylor and Stassi Schroeder's appearances on The Toast (31:14) and some other things related tangentially to that.

And after that, they take a huge trip to Orange County in the form of discussing the RHOC S17 episodes 1 through 3. (01:08:00)

This is 3 hours of pure Turtle Time! That's the length of Bo Dietl's film The Wolf of Wall Street. If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you love us, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Branded (Vanderpump Rules S2 E2 Recap)

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 17:15:14 -0000

Amy and Riley watch in awe as Jax gets a new tattoo, Sandoval sets up IKEA furniture, and Scheana's body continues to fall apart.

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Peter's Wish (Vanderpump Rules Secrets Revealed and RHONJ Reunion Pt. 3)

Fri, 16 Jun 2023 12:00:07 -0000

Welcome back, little turtles. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley greet each other warmly and discuss the things that matter most to them - Starbucks, Rick Dalton merch, Wolf by Vanderpump, Vanderpump Villa, Loverboy, and Amy's camping trip. (00:00 - 38:37)

Amy and Riley then recount their wonderful See You Next Tuesday experience with DJ James Kennedy at Sur. (38:37)

And after that, they take a little trip to New Jersey in the form of discussing the RHONJ S13 Reunion Part 3. (01:01:07)

and then finally, Amy and Riley have all of the secrets of Vanderpump Rules revealed to them as they recap this week's Vanderpump Rules Secrets Revealed episode. (01:47:23)

This is 3 hours and 13 minutes of pure Turtle Time! That's the length of movie All The Right Stuff supposedly. If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you love us, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Tooth or Consequences (Vanderpump Rules S2 E1 Recap)

Mon, 12 Jun 2023 17:23:02 -0000

Amy and Riley are back and starting their Vanderpump Rules season 2 journey. The beginning of the iconic era. In this episode, Scheana has a horrific tooth emergency and then celebrates a wonderful birthday at the bar across from the beautiful Fratelli Cafe. Scheana learns that friends are easier to lose than a child's baby tooth.

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The Ghost of Charlotte (Vanderpump Rules S10 Reunion Part 3 Recap)

Fri, 09 Jun 2023 12:00:47 -0000

Welcome back, little turtles. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss their beautiful day at Pride on Vanderpump Row (08:05) where they had the best day of their lives up to this point.

Then we take a little trip to New Jersey in the form of discussing the RHONJ S13 Reunion Part 2. (48:20) and then the sun starts to shine as Amy and Riley talk about the Summer House S7 Reunion Part 2. (01:03:22)

and then finally, Amy and Riley dive into the dark, demented, evil Vanderpump Rules Season 10 Reunion Part 3. (01:32:20) and try to find hope again after.

This is 3 hours and 21 minutes of pure Turtle Time! That's the length of Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King! If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you love us, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Vanderpump Rules Season 1 Reunion + Reunion Secrets Recap

Mon, 05 Jun 2023 21:36:04 -0000

Amy and Riley raise their glasses high and say goodbye to Vanderpump Rules season 1. To finish the season, they recap the Season 1 Reunion as well as the Reunion Secrets episode which Riley had never seen before. Listen as Amy and Riley laugh and cry and finally say goodbye to the first season of VPR and look onward to the iconic Season 2.

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Malicious Intent (Vanderpump Rules S10 Reunion Part 2 Recap)

Fri, 02 Jun 2023 12:00:51 -0000

Welcome back, little turtles. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss their new microphone setup and then discuss Howard Stern (03:30) for a brief minute. Riley offers an apology to Brian Grazer (06:00) and gives an update on our Loverboy package (07:04). And then Amy and Riley debut their new segment, Celebrity Spotlight, (08:00) where they discuss celebrities they have seen over the week.

Riley then recounts his wonderful experience at Emo Nite and meeting Scheana Shay for the first real time. (10:50) and then they discuss acts of violence perpetuated by celebrities. (16:42)

And then the Bravo discussion starts to happen. First, Amy and Riley discuss Real Housewives of New Jersey and their unexpectedly great reunion (22:23)

And then Amy and Riley conduct their most popular segment, the Official Turtle Time Summer House Minute. (38:55) After the Summer House minute, Amy and Riley break for a certified turtle piss and then provide a Loverboy Limoncello Spritz Update (01:10:44)

And then finally, Amy and Riley recap the hell out of Vanderpump Rules season 10 reunion part 2 (01:12:05) and prepare for the next chapter of Turtle Time.

This is 2 hours and 56 minutes of pure Turtle Time! The length of The Batman! If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you love us, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: Last Call (Vanderpump Rules S1 E8 Recap)

Mon, 29 May 2023 12:00:46 -0000

Amy and Riley recap the season 1 finale of Vanderpump Rules, "Last Call", in which Lisa Vanderpump summons her staff for the sexiest restaurant photoshoot the world has ever seen, and Jax Taylor finally lets out a secret that has been burdening his soul all summer.

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The Rat and the Worm (Vanderpump Rules Season 10 Reunion Part 1 Recap)

Fri, 26 May 2023 12:00:01 -0000

Welcome back, little turtles. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss their beautiful night at Junkyard Dog watching the Vanderpump Rules reunion with the most wonderful people in the world and then remark on the state of Bravo (5:00). Then they break down Ariana Madix's Call Her Daddy interview. (13:00)

As that segment ends, Amy and Riley conduct their most popular segment, the Official Turtle Time Summer House Minute. (33:03)

And then finally, Amy and Riley recap the hell out of Vanderpump Rules season 10 reunion part 1 (56:30) and prepare for the next chapter of Turtle Time.

This is 2 hours and 33 minutes of pure Turtle Time! If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠. And please, if you love us, subscribe on YouTube.

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Patreon Teaser: In Love With Someone Else (Vanderpump Rules S1 E7 Recap)

Mon, 22 May 2023 17:37:26 -0000

Amy and Riley recap the penultimate episode of the first season of Vanderpump Rules, "In Love With Someone Else". This episode has everything: Laura-Leigh and Jax in a sauna, Jax supporting Laura-Leigh at her N.A. meeting, and Stassi's fashion column journey with Pandora.

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True Disgusting Lovers (Vanderpump Rules S10 E15 Recap)

Fri, 19 May 2023 12:00:10 -0000

Welcome back, little turtles. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley discuss their beautiful night at Junkyard Dog watching the Vanderpump Rules finale with the most wonderful people in the world and then remark on the Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss breakup (6:13) and try to figure out if there were any highlights from their 10 month long romance.

And then finally, Amy and Riley recap the Vanderpump Rules season 10 season finale (13:30) from ashes to ashes and dust to dust.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠.

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Patreon Teaser: Caught With Your Trousers Down (Vanderpump Rules S1 E6 Recap)

Mon, 15 May 2023 17:51:30 -0000

Amy and Riley recap the sixth episode of Vanderpump Rules which documents Jax and Laura-Leigh's passionate new relationship as well as the demise of Stassi and Frank's. They also provide an update on Lisa and Ken's Treehouse Restaurant.

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Fury in Sur Alley (Vanderpump Rules S10 E14 Recap)

Fri, 12 May 2023 12:00:06 -0000

Welcome back, little turtles. On this week's Turtle Time, Amy and Riley formally greet each other and then immediately discuss the Vanderpump Rules Season 10 reunion trailer. After that, they dive into the Summer House Minute (18:00) and discuss the most recent episode of Summer House for one full minute. Then they recount Andy Cohen and Craig Conover's fun train ride (43:45) and Amy discusses reading Andy Cohen's latest book,The Daddy Diaries. Amy and Riley also discuss their favorite types of ice in a new segment called the Summer Ice Minute (46:45) and James Kennedy's new home in Burbank! (50:00)

But then to heat things back up after talking about ice, Amy and Riley recap this week's fiery, powerful episode of Vanderpump Rules (52:00) in which Katie finally lights all of her enemies on fire.

This is 2 hours and 41 minutes of pure Turtle Time! which is the exact length of the film, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug! If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We're recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week and uncovering all of its secrets.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠.

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Patreon Teaser: I'm Not a Ghetto Bitch (Vanderpump Rules S1 E5 Recap)

Mon, 08 May 2023 17:32:27 -0000

Amy and Riley recap the fifth episode of Vanderpump Rules, witness the first Sur all-hands meeting, and watch Scheana rock the hell out of The Roxy. They also discuss taking over Pump Restaurant and starting a new treehouse restaurant there.

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Sandoval The Liar (Vanderpump Rules S10 E13 Recap)

Fri, 05 May 2023 12:00:12 -0000

Amy and Riley wish their little turtle cuties a happy May the 4th and briefly discuss their relationship to Star Wars. They then discuss Summer House for one full minute (11:30), mourn the loss of Pump Restaurant (30:18), and discuss the VPR Finale Trailer (33:55).

And then finally, Amy and Riley recap this week's episode of Vanderpump Rules - "The Lady and the Glamp" (S10 E13) - an episode that Riley hated and that Amy was indifferent on (38:00).

This is 2 hours and 3 minutes of pure Turtle Time! If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠.

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Patreon Teaser: Vegas With a Vengeance (Vanderpump Rules S1 E4 Recap)

Mon, 01 May 2023 16:22:48 -0000

Amy and Riley recap the iconic fourth episode of Vanderpump Rules, "Vegas with a Vengeance", and reminisce on their own beautiful times in Vegas.

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The Curse at Tower 12 (Vanderpump Rules S10 E12 Recap)

Fri, 28 Apr 2023 12:00:10 -0000

Amy and Riley officially declare Ramona and Avery Singer as their first "Certified Stinkers" and hopefully solve the mystery of why James Kennedy called Tom Schwartz "Mr. Buzz Button" on last week's episode. And then finally, Amy and Riley recap this week's iconic episode of Vanderpump Rules - "Beach, Don't Kill My Vibe" (S10 E12) - and declare it a masterpiece.

This is 2 hours and 33 minutes of pure Turtle Time! If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠.

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Patreon Teaser: You Don't Know Jax (Vanderpump Rules S1 E3 Recap)

Tue, 25 Apr 2023 01:07:36 -0000

Amy and Riley recap the third episode of Vanderpump Rules - "You Don't Know Jax" and learn that they truly have never known Jax.

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The Rise of Satchel (Vanderpump Rules S10 E11 Recap)

Fri, 21 Apr 2023 12:00:04 -0000

Amy discusses her powerful horoscope reading with Ally Lewber and gets to the bottom of her birth chart and what it has in store for the future of Turtle Time. Then Amy and Riley discuss the latest Bravo news and create a new segment called the "Summer House Minute". And then finally, Amy and Riley recap this week's divisive episode of Vanderpump Rules - "Mistress in Distress" (S10 E11).

This is 2 hours and 8 minutes of pure Turtle Time! If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the ⁠Turtle Time Patreon⁠ and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠.

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Patreon Teaser: This Is a Break-Up (Vanderpump Rules S1 E2 Recap)

Mon, 17 Apr 2023 17:50:02 -0000

Amy and Riley recap the second episode of Vanderpump Rules - "This Is a Break-Up" and mourn the end of Stassi and Jax's iconic relationship.

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The Fall of Schwartz (Vanderpump Rules S10 E10 Recap)

Fri, 14 Apr 2023 14:00:20 -0000

Amy and Riley document their experiences with the Vanderpump Rules cast over the weekend - Beau and Stassi at Albertsons; Katie, Ariana, and Scheana at Emo Nite; and then Tom Sandoval in the pits of Hell at the Canyon Club. After that, they dive into Tom Sandoval's disastrous interview on Howie Mandel's YouTube show, and then finally and crucially, Amy and Riley recap this week's powerful episode of Vanderpump Rules - "It's All Happening... Again" (S10 E10).

This is 2 hours and 30 minutes of pure Turtle Time! If you enjoyed this episode but you demand more, join the Turtle Time Patreon and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week.

And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠TikTok⁠ or ⁠Instagram⁠.

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Patreon Teaser: Welcome to Sur (Vanderpump Rules S1 E1 Recap)

Wed, 12 Apr 2023 00:01:42 -0000

Amy and Riley welcome their Villa Rosa VIPs to Lisa and Ken's beautiful home, and recap the very first episode of Vanderpump Rules. The start of the dynasty.

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Reservation for Bubba (Vanderpump Rules S10 E9 Recap)

Fri, 07 Apr 2023 13:00:51 -0000

Amy and Riley discuss their trip to Pump Restaurant Lounge in its final days, Tom Schwartz's elucidating appearance on Watch What Happens Live, and this week's beautiful episode of Vanderpump Rules (S10 E9) - "Forbidden Fruit".

We hope you like it, little turtles! If you need more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠TikTok⁠ or ⁠Instagram⁠.

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Fine China (Vanderpump Rules S10 E8 Recap)

Fri, 31 Mar 2023 14:41:34 -0000

It's Turtle Time again! This week Amy and Riley discuss being in the courtroom for Scheana Shay's restraining order hearing, the latest VPR breaking news, and an in-depth recap of this week's Vanderpump Rules episode - "By Invitation Only".

We hope you like it, little turtles! If you need more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on TikTok or Instagram.

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Tequila Soda Grapefruit (Vanderpump Rules S10 E7 Recap)

Fri, 24 Mar 2023 17:27:14 -0000

Amy and Riley are back discussing everything that has rocked the Vanderpump Rules universe since last week - the latest episode (S10 E7), Jax and Brittany on WWHL, season 10 reunion predictions, the current state of Schwartz and Sandy's, TSGs, and much more.

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Sad Divorce Gathering (Vanderpump Rules S10 E6 Recap)

Fri, 17 Mar 2023 17:23:33 -0000

Amy and Riley are recording live from an echoey bunker on this latest episode of Turtle Time. They discuss Kristen Doute's latest Scandoval updates, Jax and Brittany on Watch What Happens Live, and give a detailed breakdown of Vanderpump Rules' latest episode (S10 E6) Divorce Party Crashers.

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Scandoval and its Aftermath

Thu, 09 Mar 2023 23:34:54 -0000

Amy and Riley recount what they saw happen at TomTom the night SCANDOVAL erupted. They share their complicated feelings on the Vanderpump Rules universe, the latest episode, Lisa Vanderpump on WWHL, and give helpful advice on how we can all move forward.

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