No Worries If Not!

The Masculinity Grift and Meta Smart Glasses

Wed, 20 May 2026 23:00:00 -0000

Remember the bestselling pickup artist book The Game by Neil Strauss? Since its release, pick up culture has evolved alongside the internet - from online forums to viral 'cold approach' videos filmed using Meta smart glasses (and uploaded without the women’s consent.) In this episode, I speak to two men who've made these videos, alongside a leading expert in image-based abuse, to unpack the online masculinity grift driving it all.

TikTok: ⁠⁠lilyo.farrell⁠⁠

Instagram: ⁠⁠lilyo.farrell⁠⁠

Substack: ⁠⁠lilyofarrell⁠⁠

Guests:⁠ ⁨⁠⁠Professor Clare McGlynn⁠⁠ ⁠

Michael Asibuo⁠

'Joe' (not his real name)

No Worries If Not! is written, hosted and produced by Lily O'Farrell. The script editors were Jackie O'Farrell and Will Hilton, also produced by Will Hilton. Theme music composed by Meg Jenkins.

Sources:

⁠The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists⁠ - Neil Strauss

⁠Neil Strauss: 'My thinking was: If this woman’s going to be naked with me – I must be OK. It doesn’t last’⁠ - The Guardian, 2015

⁠Adnan Ahmed: 'Pick-up artist' conviction quashed on appeal⁠ - BBC News (2020)

⁠Campaign win: law to stop deepfake abuse⁠ - The End Violence Against Women Coalition (2025)

⁠Survivors and campaigners welcome new deepfake law but call on government to go further⁠ - The End Violence Against Women Coalition (2026)

⁠I cold approach 100 women to get over my fear of rejection⁠ - Michael Asibuo (2025)

⁠A Disastrously Bad 6-Minutes Of Cold Approach (REJECTIONS)⁠ - Kristian Kasanova (2024)

⁠Watch me face Rejection for 16min repeatedly (2025)⁠ - Alex Leon (2025)

⁠How To Pick Up 9s and 10s (Infield Example)⁠ - Social Stoic (2025)

⁠Todd vs Dating⁠

⁠The Politics of Reality: Essays in Feminist Theory⁠ - Marilyn Fry (1983)

⁠41 Tenets⁠ - Andrew Tate

⁠If Books Could Kill Podcast⁠ - The Secret (2023) ⁠Everything I’ve learned about incels⁠ - Lily O’Farrell (2021)

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To Botox or Not to Botox?

Wed, 13 May 2026 23:00:00 -0000

Botox has gone mainstream. Once exclusive to the celebrity class, it’s now marketed as routine beauty maintenance for women. When the widespread use of injectables is challenged, a common defence is “it’s her choice, and feminism is about choice, right?” But it's not that simple.

In this episode we pick apart 'choice feminism' - its origin and its impact, and we look at how to talk to our friends who get Botox with compassion and empathy.

When you picture yourself as a middle aged woman, what does she look like?

TikTok: lilyo.farrell

Instagram: lilyo.farrell

Substack: lilyofarrell

Guests:⁠ ⁨Alice Cappelle⁩

'Meg' (not her real name)

No Worries If Not! is written, hosted and produced by Lily O'Farrell. The script editors were Jackie O'Farrell and Will Hilton, also produced by Will Hilton. Theme music composed by Meg Jenkins.

Sources:

⁠The Double Standard of Aging, Susan Sontag (1972)⁠

⁠Job age discrimination for women starts at least 10 years earlier than for men, University of Liverpool - Professor Ian Burn (2023)⁠

⁠Actors warned to keep off the Botox, The Guardian (2003)⁠

⁠Dataclysm: Who We Are When We Think No Ones Looking, Christian Rudder (2014)⁠⁠

⁠The Mandarins (Les Mandarins), Simone de Beauvoir (1954)⁠

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Hot for the Plot: Romantasy, Heated Rivalry, Women and Erotica

Wed, 06 May 2026 22:55:00 -0000

It’s a great time to be a horny woman! Women are going offline to get off. We’re reading Romance Fiction and Romantasy, watching male-on-male hockey smut, listening to audio erotica and reading confessional sex stories. Why are we leaving video porn behind? How does erotica authored by women offer an alternative to the violence of the male gaze, and what do the feminist porn wars of the 70s and 80s have to do with all of this?

Follow me on Instagram and TikTok: @lilyo.farrell

Guests:

Sarah Maxwell, Saucy Books

Visit their website here

Carly Pifer, Aurore

Visit their website here

No Worries If Not! is produced, written and hosted by Lily O'Farrell.

The script editors are Jackie O'Farrell and Will Hilton, also produced by Will Hilton. The theme music was composed by Meg Jenkins and the title animations were animated by Angelica Lena.

Sources for this episode in chronological order:

Women on Porn, Fiona Vera-Gray (2024)

'Not just smut': Why it's happily ever after for romance books, BBC News (2025)

The female-only book club: Why women read more than men, Times Literary Supplement (2020)

Rebecca Yarros’s ‘Onyx Storm’ Is the Fastest-Selling Adult Novel in 20 Years, New York Times (2025)

Bloomsbury had its highest sales year ever thanks to Sarah J. Maas, Business Insider (2024)

‘Heated Rivalry’ Reaches 10.6 Million Viewers in The U.S. With Audience Increasing by Over 100% Since Finale, Variety (2026)

What do women really want from men? I delved into romantasy and found a good few clues, The Guardian (2025)

Dr Karen Gurney - Sex and Pleasure, No Worries If Not!

Women are feral for Heated Rivalry. What does that say about men? The Guardian (2026)

Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys: Women and Gay Male Pornography and Erotica, Lucy Neville (2018)

Pornography: Men Possessing Women, Andrea Dworkin (1981)

Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality, Gayle Rubin (1984)

Pornhub to restrict access for UK users from next week, BBC News (2026)

Children as young as nine exposed to pornography, BBC News (2023)

The Right to Sex, Amia Srinivasan (2021)

The world wants to ban children from social media, but there will be grave consequences for us all, The Guardian (2026)

Quinn audio erotica

'Hot Priest' actor, TikTok are drawing Gen Z to this audio-erotica app, Business Insider (2024)

Quinn: Gender demographic of listeners, TikTok (2024)

r/QuinnAudios, Reddit (2024)

Perfect White Shirt, Aurore

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Trailer: No Worries If Not! is back

Thu, 30 Apr 2026 09:30:00 -0000

No Worries If Not! is now a YouTube show featuring hand-drawn, lo-fi animations, expert guests and a documentary-style exploration of women and internet culture.

Watch the trailer and subscribe to the ⁠No Worries If Not! YouTube channel⁠ so you don’t miss an episode. For audio listeners only - you’ll still be able to listen to the raw audio from each episode here in podcast form.

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Why are women afraid of looking old?

Mon, 06 May 2024 21:05:00 -0000

Welcome back to No Worries If Not! Series 2, Episode 5. In this episode we're looking at why women are so afraid of ageing. Why are children using anti-ageing skincare products? Why are we so obsessed with skincare trends and ‘30phobia’? What do we think of when we think of ‘old’ women? Special thanks to our guests Chloe Laws, Isabella Matthews aka @spottylittlething and Trish Bolton.

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Are we dating the same guy?

Tue, 30 Apr 2024 09:17:00 -0000

Welcome back to No Worries If Not! Series 2, Episode 4. In this episode we're looking at the notorious Facebook groups 'Are We Dating the Same Guy?' where women share notes on men they're dating - exposing them for cheating, being abusive or just generally being badly behaved on dates. Since 2022, these online groups have expanded and popped up all over the world, but what happens when whisper networks move online? Why are the men involved taking their accusers to court? Are these groups unethical or a necessary protection for women?

Special thanks to our guests Emilie Lavinia and Davina the lawyer.

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Can you buy fast fashion as a feminist?

Tue, 23 Apr 2024 03:30:00 -0000

Welcome back to No Worries If Not! Series 2, Episode 3. In this episode we're looking at why women take centre stage in the fast fashion industry. Why are 80% of garment workers women? Why do Shein and Boohoo keep making the headlines? How the hell do you buy sustainable clothes with no money? Special thanks to Anna Bryer and Kaenat Issufo from Labour Behind the Label and Lauren Bravo.

We’ve included some of Shein and Boohoo’s responses to past allegations throughout this episode, here are some lengthier public responses from them:

In regards to reports of low pay and poor conditions at Shein’s factories: “We are extremely concerned by the claims presented by Channel 4, which would violate the Code of Conduct agreed to by every Shein supplier. Any non-compliance with this code is dealt with swiftly, and we will terminate partnerships that do not meet our standards. We have requested specific information from Channel 4 so that we can investigate.Shein’s Responsible Sourcing (SRS) standards hold our suppliers to a code of conduct based on International Labor Organization conventions and local laws and regulations, including labor practices, and working conditions.”

In regards to Bloomberg’s report of cotton from forced labour camps: In a statement, Shein didn’t dispute Bloomberg’s test results or say whether it uses cotton from Xinjiang. The fast-fashion retailer said it takes steps in all its global markets “to ensure we comply with local laws and regulations.” A “Sustainability and Social Impact” report on Shein’s US website says the company carries out regular audits aimed at ensuring a zero-tolerance policy for “forced labour” and other environmental and social concerns.

In regards to the ‘help me’ label videos: Shein confirmed that the “Need your help” care tag was just a poorly worded label asking customers to help keep the fabric soft by using a softer detergent. They said: “Recently, several videos were posted on TikTok that contain misleading and false information about SHEIN. We want to make it very clear that we take supply chain matters seriously. Our strict Code of Conduct prohibits suppliers from using child or forced labour and we do not tolerate non-compliance.”

In regards to the lawsuits brought forward to Shein by independent artists: “Shein respects creators and artists, as well as the intellectual property rights of others. We take all claims of infringement seriously. We continue to invest and improve our processes to detect and prevent infringements. We require our suppliers to comply with a code of conduct which includes certification that the products they manufacture do not infringe the intellectual property of third parties. In the rare cases where our internal systems fail to identify potentially counterfeit items, rights holders can report suspicious listings via our dedicated IP complaints portal, and we take prompt action.”

In regards to reports of low pay, poor conditions and the ‘Covid scandal’ at Boohoo’s Leceister factory: An independent report (conducted by Alison Levitt QC) has found that Boohoo knew of “endemic” problems in its Leicester suppliers but did “too little too late” to fix them. Boohoo accepted the review’s recommendations for change in full and apologised for failing to “match up to the high expectations we set for ourselves”. Group CEO John Lyttle said the company would be “a leader for positive change in the city”, adding: “It is clear that we need to go further and faster to improve our governance, oversight and compliance. As a Board, we recognise that we need to rebuild confidence that these matters will be dealt with appropriately and sensitively, and that they will not recur.” As of April 2024, the Boohoo supplier code of conduct published on their website reads “No harsh or inhumane treatment is allowed: physical abuse or discipline, the threat of physical abuse, sexual or other harassment, verbal abuse, or other forms of intimidation shall be prohibited.”

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Should we all become Trad Wives?

Tue, 16 Apr 2024 08:56:00 -0000

Welcome back to No Worries If Not! Series 2, Episode 2. In this episode we're looking at the rise in popularity of the online Trad Wife influencer. Is it just a harmless, aesthetically pleasing subculture of women doing housework, or is it masking something more sinister, like right wing politics and extremist ideologies. Special thanks to Alice Cappelle, Dr Veronica Hopner, Sophia Sykes and Jasmyne.

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What do Gamergate and Amber Heard have in common?

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 07:20:00 -0000

Welcome back to No Worries If Not! I'm so excited about Series 2, it's bigger, better and even more compelling. In this episode we're looking at the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp trial, the misogynistic frenzy that ensued online, and the decade old hate campaign that set the stage for it all: Gamergate. Special thanks to Alice McCool, Katherine Denkinson and Jessica O'Donnell.

This episode contains references to Domestic Abuse so please take care when listening.

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Romantic Comedies

Tue, 19 Dec 2023 01:06:00 -0000

Our second and final of our Christmas special episodes! A deep dive into our favourite Rom Coms and how they've shaped our view on love and dating. Special thanks to Monica Heisey, Lynsey Wilson from Maclynn International, and Melissa Moore and Yotam Ophir from the University of Buffalo.

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Problematic Family

Tue, 12 Dec 2023 03:30:00 -0000

The first of our Christmas special episodes! We’re looking at how to productively talk to family members with problematic views during the holidays, with words of wisdom from people who’ve had to have these difficult conversations.

Big thanks to Theresa from Mermaids UK, Fiona Clark from Show Racism the Red Card and Kay and Danny. Theresa, Kay, and Danny are all using pseudonyms to protect their identities. This is a curly media production.

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Spirituality

Tue, 21 Nov 2023 04:00:00 -0000

She’s a horoscope, tarot, crystal girly! Big thanks to astrologer @AlizaKelly, anthropologist @Jourdemayne, professor Marisa Galvez and spiritual healers Venus, @TheTrapWitch and @AmberTheConduit.

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Neurodiversity

Tue, 14 Nov 2023 04:00:00 -0000

A deep dive into the underdiagnosis of autism and ADHD in women, and self diagnosing online. Big thanks to psychologists @EEG_SpecialEd and @JessicaLeighPHD, journalist @ChantayyJayy and the founder of @ADHDBabes, @VVNSings. This is a curly media production.

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Sex and Pleasure

Tue, 07 Nov 2023 04:00:00 -0000

Why does the orgasm gap still exist, and what are we learning about pleasure from the internet? Big thanks to clinical psychosexologist @thesexdoctor, sex educator @ReedAmberx, sexfluencer @ScottyUnfamous and Tasha Mansley from @SplitBananaaa. A curly media production.

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AI

Tue, 31 Oct 2023 04:00:00 -0000

As AI becomes more incorporated into our everyday lives, how is it affecting women? Big thanks to tech and gaming journalist @LeighAlexander, tech researcher Clementine Collett, the founder of Iris Dating Dr Igor Khalatian and data scientist Ayodele Odubela.

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Almond Mums

Tue, 24 Oct 2023 04:00:00 -0000

Why are some mums so obsessed with their daughter’s weight? Big thanks to Lily’s mum, good friend Elle and Kerrie Jones, the CEO and founder of the @Orri_UK eating disorder treatment clinic.

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The Alpha Male

Tue, 17 Oct 2023 03:00:00 -0000

How did a study on animal behaviour get hijacked by anti-feminists? Big thanks to primatologist and author Frans de Waal, social entrepreneur and public speaker @LewisWedlock, broadcaster @RichieBrave and of course Ruby for sharing her story.

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Series coming Tuesday 17th October

Tue, 10 Oct 2023 09:22:00 -0000

Episode one coming Tuesday 17th October. Subscribe now!

Feminist cartoonist and writer Lily O’Farrell - aka @VulgaDrawings - looks at internet culture and how it affects women. A curly media podcast.

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