At the Root

Still Fixated on the Fixer

Tue, 06 Sep 2022 18:41:53 -0000

Greg reviews how two types of cognitive bias impact our listening abilities in relationships with others and shares that being present doesn’t mean literally; it means being present in intent and emotional engagement. He reminds listeners that “fixers” often unintentionally hijack engagements because they were likely not permitted to be right or were often corrected resulting in low self-esteem and coping mechanisms. Regardless of origin, “fixers” don’t develop a sufficient emotional vocabulary and emotions provide the needed input for managing ourselves and responding effectively to others. He shares other “fixer” traits and offers hope that the autopilot can be rerouted in a positive direction. To learn more about Greg and his practice, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Fixated on the Fixer

Tue, 06 Sep 2022 18:40:35 -0000

Greg continues to talk about how our frame of reference when listening is through the lens of Cognitive Bias which results in our brains filtering the information we process. This can lead to short-cuts that leave out significant information and sensitivities. Greg goes on to explain the two types of cognitive bias he sees most often and how they impact our ability to listen. Often one partner hijacks an interaction because of their need for validation and respect; essentially ignoring the other’s need for same. Stacy continues to pepper Greg with questions as she searches for answers for her and other “Fixers” out there. To learn more about Greg and his practice, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Fixing The Fixer

Thu, 25 Aug 2022 18:51:49 -0000

Greg continues to talk about the topic of listening and how when we listen it’s usually with cognitive bias or as a “Fixer.” He spends a lot of time talking about “The Fixer” and their origin story; where their need for answers, control and fear of emotion began. He also explains why they need to be met with compassion versus frustration. Stacy asks lots of questions on the topic since she relates to The Fixer. To learn more about Greg and his practice, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Bridging the Gap

Thu, 18 Aug 2022 19:09:28 -0000

Greg picks up where he left off on the topic of listening and how we should listen with context, intent and awareness of our own interpretation; something he refers to as “the fluffy stuff.” He comments that today’s norm is forcing a point of view rather than listening to, understanding or respecting other’s points of view. We have Fixer Bias, we can be attributed to an inability on the Fixer's part to feel, share and express emotions. That makes it increasingly difficult to bridge the gap and find common ground. To learn more about Greg and his practice, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Our Bias Means Intent Gets Lost in Translation

Mon, 08 Aug 2022 23:53:46 -0000

Greg and Stacy review what they discussed last week about listening for intent AND content, and they talk a bit more about the power of our two “brains;” the brain and the heart. Greg picks up where he left off to discuss more about how our past experiences influence what we hear and how we hear it. He explains that listening with our hearts creates empathy which bridges the gap between our own past, and what is being shared presently. Greg shares some heavy truths which are lightened with ideas for how to approach communicating with curiosity, lack of judgement, and a heavy dose of self-awareness and humor. To learn more about Greg and his practice, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Who’s Listening?

Mon, 01 Aug 2022 23:46:36 -0000

Greg is back live from an extended break; he shares what he was doing and what he noticed while away. His biggest takeaway was our innate need for social connection with others and how that connection ideally goes beyond just words. To truly connect we need to listen for total meaning, not default to trying to solve for what we perceive to be the problem, make it about ourselves, or dismiss what we’re hearing all together. Greg also shares interesting information about the power of the heart as a second “energetic” brain which leads to a bigger conversation. To learn more about Greg and his practice, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Thinking with People

Mon, 13 Jun 2022 22:48:33 -0000

Greg and Stacy start with a brief recap from the last show when a call comes in from Maureen in Everett. Maureen shares she has an adult daughter with MS who’s experienced multiple traumas and likely experiences PTSD; she confesses she struggles to listen to her daughter because she goes on and on and has refused counseling. Greg offers some suggestions and support for Maureen and her daughter before turning to today’s topic of thinking with people. Greg gives a simple solution to practice for staying present and in the moment so the other person can feel heard. To learn more about Greg and his practice, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Listen Up

Mon, 06 Jun 2022 22:44:05 -0000

Greg decides to zig from his most recent line of discussion partly inspired by some new clients seeking relationship counseling. He shares that we don’t just learn how to cope and react based on past experiences, we learn how to listen and react as well which places us squarely back in autopilot and avoidance mode. Greg talks about active listening, being vulnerable, and how important it is that our partners FEEL heard. Next week Greg will talk about the steps to be a better active listener. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Who’s in Charge?

Fri, 27 May 2022 00:41:27 -0000

Without awareness, we've allowed our lives to be run from our past experiences and the emotional charge accompanying those experiences. Greg looks at how our choices can change this dynamic and the control returned to the present moment in our awareness.

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The Transformers: Forgive & Forget

Mon, 16 May 2022 20:47:13 -0000

Greg reviews the last episode and reminds listeners how our wounds are inflicted; slowly, over time, layer by layer, sometimes by others and often, by ourselves. From there he talks about how to address our wounds, with intention, grace, and compassion versus judgement and shame. Ultimately, while we shouldn’t forget about our wounds, we should forgive ourselves and others so we can fully heal. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Transformers; Facilitating Intent

Tue, 03 May 2022 22:03:38 -0000

Per usual Greg reviews last week’s episode, reminding listeners about the power of intention and how every action is created by us, as is the resulting effect. Because we typically choose actions that result in a negative experience because we follow the path forged by our autopilot. Greg also reviews how we develop emotionally from birth on and why compassion training is vital when it comes to regarding others and ourselves. Lastly, Greg shares a letter from a listener in response to the April 25th episode and expands on his thoughts around the posed question. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Intentions as Vectors

Wed, 27 Apr 2022 19:09:23 -0000

After a brief review of the last episode, Greg picks up where he left off reminding listening that as we begin to explore awareness, we start to realize that the illusions we’ve created aren't offering safety, they’re keeping us stagnate. The negative experiences we have tell us our lives are not working. We need to vibrate our energy on a level that welcomes growth of any kind and to get there we need to remove the bandages, thus the start of a healing journey where intention determines where our attention goes. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Do I really have to go there?

Mon, 18 Apr 2022 23:34:16 -0000

At the Root debuts the new hourlong format. Greg introduces new listeners to the show, giving them background on the show, its’ purpose and how to connect to him live or otherwise. After a short break, Greg explains that wounds left untended may fester leading to feelings of anger or resentment. He poses the question, “If our “True Self” was the part wounded, who applied the bandages?” He also shares a mantra to use as a reminder that we are a masterpiece in the making. Lastly, newly engaged Jason calls into the program asking about staying connected for the long-haul. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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The Healing Journey

Tue, 12 Apr 2022 17:30:59 -0000

Greg shares a big announcement - At the Root will now air live on Mondays from 3-4pm PST on Alternative Talk 1150 AM radio! The additional time will allow Greg to expand on content and explain it in more depth with examples. He’ll also welcome guests such as other practitioners and encourage people to call or message him with specific questions. With this episode, Greg encourages listeners to start on their Healing Journey, open to infinite possibilities. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Undressing The Wounds

Tue, 05 Apr 2022 21:21:06 -0000

Greg picks up where he left off talking about the illusions we create because of emotional wounds. To deal with these illusions, we create coping mechanisms like anger, denial, addiction, avoidance, etc. that Greg refers to as bandages. These bandages don’t address the wounds, they merely dress them, or cover them up. Surprisingly, Greg explains that before we can remove the bandages, it is important to access the wounds, not the other way round. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Deconstructing the Illusions

Mon, 28 Mar 2022 22:53:58 -0000

Reviewing the concept of illusions and how they function as part of our autopilot, Greg reiterates how without awareness, our illusions are in control. As our sphere of influence grows, so do our reactions to perceived threats. Illusions enable us to cope until truth threatens our protective bubble forcing us to look at the emotional wounds that are the basis of these illusions. Greg shares that most people choose denial over feelings of shame; however, he warns that simply allows our illusions to fester. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Elusive Illusions

Mon, 21 Mar 2022 23:53:34 -0000

Greg takes a step back to explore our illusions in more depth. He addresses basics like, when do they develop and what purpose do they serve? Why do we develop them when we can’t recall any “trauma?” and why don’t we shed them over time? Greg walks listeners through the origin story timeline of our illusions and starts to explore the long-lasting impact of not addressing them, on ourselves and our relationships. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Repairing the Disconnect

Tue, 15 Mar 2022 19:58:37 -0000

Greg talks about how to repair relationships when our behavior triggers our partner, creating disconnect. Preparing for the repair gives each person time reflect and recover and move to a WE position that lacks blame, and then what? Greg breaks down the next steps and shares how to KEEP IT WE, by making I statements. Using Steve and Charlotte as an example, Greg highlights the importance of exploring what is behind triggers as a team for greater connection. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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The Power of WE

Tue, 08 Mar 2022 21:42:09 -0000

After talking about “preparing for the repair” last time, Greg shifts the focus to the power of thinking in terms of WE. He explains that when things get tough in our relationships, by thinking as WE, it’s possible to turn what's happened into a learning experience. Referencing his work with Steve and Charlotte, Greg “shows” listeners what he means using them as an example. To learn more about Greg, go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Prepare for The Repair

Tue, 01 Mar 2022 19:33:21 -0000

While preparing to do his taxes, Greg made a connection between an expense file and what he’s been talking about recently - awareness of what our triggers and illusions are and how we sometimes goof. When mistakes are made, repairs are necessary to move forward; what is the expense to repair; how much was damage was done? Greg encourages allowing for time and space to understand and accept accountability for unconscious behavior. The individual awareness helps to "prepare to repair" when a mistake is made and, the preparation can keep the cost of the repair down.

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One Plus One is Sometimes Too Hard

Tue, 22 Feb 2022 19:23:45 -0000

Most recently Greg has focused on finding awareness to break out of the critical loop and setting intentions so there are less emotional and cognitive reactions and usual neural pathways can be rerouted toward a healthier destination. In this episode he comes back to discussing his work with couples in relationships needing to rebuild emotional connection. Citing a new couple as an example, Greg stresses the importance of bids for connection throughout the day to erase narratives and minimize trigger points.

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Intent on Awareness

Mon, 21 Feb 2022 23:22:24 -0000

Greg continues his conversation about mindful awareness and the importance of incorporating intention. He stresses that the specifics around an intention should unfold versus getting too detailed; you should focus on what you want to experience and share, and remember, language is key. Greg cites a personal example of how energy is shared and built upon when we connect with others even if only for a moment. Ultimately, he explains that awareness is not always the resolution to what troubles us, however, it helps keep us in the moment.

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Intentionally Rerouting Our Brain Map

Wed, 09 Feb 2022 00:38:39 -0000

Greg has been spending a lot of time talking about awareness; the practice of checking in and paying attention to what’s going on with our minds and bodies. By defaulting to autopilot, we unconsciously create pathways and patterns that no longer serve us. Greg shares the importance of changing our thoughts and emotions to provide different experiences for our brains to pattern and map, he also explains why adding intention to our daily awareness practice is so vital for it to be effective.

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Try This at Home

Tue, 01 Feb 2022 00:47:02 -0000

Greg continues to explain the benefits of mindful breathing and shares that he’s created a YouTube channel called, “Connection Through Awareness with Greg Kiper.” On it, is posted a guided version of the exercise he calls, “Finding Awareness” so anyone can try on their own time, in their own space. In today’s program he breaks the exercise down explaining the purpose behind each part of the process. To try it at home, go to https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYMK1j57uxuu7EN2r5v0pSQ

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Three Good Reasons Why

Wed, 26 Jan 2022 00:49:26 -0000

Greg continues to explore and explain the healing powers of fostering daily awareness. Using breathing exercises, body scans and self-awareness, the goal is to be still and vulnerable allowing for self-compassion and ultimately self-love. Why? 1. To lift us out of the immediacy of an experience so we can respond to it effectively. 2. To heal and maintain physical health. 3.To find a spiritual connection with ourselves.

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Wiring Positive Neural Pathways for Connection

Tue, 18 Jan 2022 00:46:17 -0000

Greg shares the response to the homework he gave to pause several times a day and practice the 478-breathing technique. Greg asserts that if we can assess what we’re feeling physically and by extension, emotionally we will be able to connect more easily with ourselves and others. By identifying what we’re experiencing and directing our responses to the pre-frontal cortex which is responsible for executive function, we can handle situations in a balanced manner and allow for a healthy response instead of regret, recovery, and repair after the fact.

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The 478 Breath

Tue, 28 Dec 2021 00:46:39 -0000

Greg explains in further depth his homework assignment from last show and elaborates on why it’s so vital to becoming more aware. He also leads listeners in the 478 breathing exercise; a practice meant to raise awareness of, and center, our physical body so we can turn our focus inward and note any feelings we have. He points out that identifying feelings in our body first, and attaching emotions to them, help minimize the negative impact it could have if left unchecked.

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Co-Regulate to Self-Regulate

Tue, 21 Dec 2021 22:30:58 -0000

Greg begins the episode clarifying that difficulty with emotions doesn’t necessarily mean we are avoidantly attached; however, it is a symptom of that attachment style. He then goes on to talk about resilience and the development of self-regulation and co-regulation. He explains that learning co-regulation leads to the ability to self-regulate, which is, essentially, learning how to take a pause between a feeling and an action. He ends the episode with some homework to help create space for that pause.

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Avoidant Attachment or "Good. I feel good."

Tue, 14 Dec 2021 21:06:45 -0000

After last week’s lively roundtable discussion with JD Wyneken about awareness, connection, and the language of emotion, Greg spends time exploring the avoidant attachment-type. He explains what it may look like, why it happens, and how the discomfort with emotions; identifying and expressing them, can impede personal growth and maintaining healthy relationships. The episode ends with a discussion around the pressing need for emotional language and literacy.

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Connecting Emotionally Roundtable

Tue, 07 Dec 2021 22:21:18 -0000

Greg welcomes JD Wyneken from, “This Show is All About You” and Stacy, his producer and host of, “Don’t Ask Me to Talk” to turn on the mic and join him for a roundtable discussion about awareness and connection. Touching on topics from the past several months of shows, Greg, JD, and Stacy talk about awareness; why we need it, how to find it, connection; why it’s important, where disconnection starts and the importance of emotional language. It’s a different approach to better understanding connection.

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Baby Steps

Tue, 30 Nov 2021 00:48:10 -0000

Greg continues to start each episode reviewing content from past episodes in order to clarify some of the concepts he discusses regularly so new listeners can understand and regular listeners continue to gain greater awareness. He then circles back to last week’s episode and continues from when he shared a pivotal moment from Steve and Charlotte’s joint session; a small moment of awareness that leads to discomfort for Steve and validation for Charlotte. A small moment that may represent a big shift for Steve and Charlotte in their healing journey.

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Renewal of Commitment

Tue, 23 Nov 2021 23:07:50 -0000

Greg recaps the cycle he counsels couples through, personal illusions built on old wounds which create patterns of automatic behavior that are easily triggered resulting in a loop of criticism; all setting the stage for The Grand Illusion – an existence with little to no emotional connection. Greg explains that’s where Steve and Char were, now they need to understand that their healing journey requires not two people working on their own stuff, by themselves; but two people working on their own stuff, together.

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Giving Enough Rope

Tue, 16 Nov 2021 01:04:12 -0000

The episode begins with a quick recap before Greg delves right into his work with Steve and Charlotte. He uses them to illustrate how their individual illusions were triggering and how that impacted their relationship. By having them work separately on their wounds, they’re able to come together, be more attuned to each other and participate in the other’s healing. Greg gives them homework to explore their desires for the relationship with the focus being on the “we.”

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It’s Not Communication That’s Lacking

Tue, 09 Nov 2021 21:44:27 -0000

The episode begins with Stacy circling back about naming your inner child; a conversation from last time that required more explanation. Greg continues to talk about how our past traumas lead to layers of bandages covering the wounds that are a key element in what Greg calls, “The Grand Illusion.” He explains how couples initially seeking help from a lack of communication, come to realize it’s a lack of connection they’re facing. He ends the episode with an update on Charlotte and her own journey to revisiting old wounds.

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Fester or Forgive?

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 20:10:57 -0000

After a quick review from last time, Greg dives into his session with Steve. Steve, starting to see how his past traumas are impacting his current life and relationships shares a story about his father. Greg introduces him to the concept of connecting with his inner child (or true self) so he can tear down the wall of protection he’s built and finally pull off the bandages covering his wounds. Steve is given a choice; let the wounds fester or forgive.

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Protective or Protected? Try Connected.

Tue, 26 Oct 2021 00:29:54 -0000

After the usual recap, Greg connects how the past several episodes about our inner or “true-self” connect with the discussion around how we treat ourselves; and ultimately how that shows up in relationship with others. In order to move forward, we need to go back and tear down the wall of protection we’ve constructed over time and give our inner child a long-overdue hug. Greg also shares an update on Steve and shows using him and Charlotte as an example, how it all connects.

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The Pause that Refreshes

Wed, 20 Oct 2021 00:33:45 -0000

After his usual recap of last time, Greg spends much of the episode talking about the importance of connecting with our true self and how granting that grace to ourselves can help us heal. Sharing a brief meditation, Greg encourages listeners to go within to explore and find their true self and give their inner child a hug and time. He emphasizes that doing this brief practice multiple times a day can lead to calm, connection, and compassion for, first and foremost, ourselves.

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True or False? Yes.

Tue, 12 Oct 2021 19:38:59 -0000

After a quick recap from last time, Greg dives right in to talk about when realization hits that our relationship problems typically don’t stem from others as much as from ourselves. This happens because of the disconnect between our personality and our “true self.” Our true self is what Greg calls, “The Important Stuff” it’s our source of our meaning, purpose, happiness and most of all, self-compassion. This is a deeper episode full of ah-ha moments.

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Chameleons of Coping

Mon, 04 Oct 2021 23:00:49 -0000

After a week away, Greg and Stacy catch up from last time reminding listeners about their conversation about the bandages and layers of protection we use to cover past wounds. Greg explains that we respond out of efficiency often acting on autopilot and he reminds us that the struggles we face each day in our relationships with ourselves and others are the signals to us that the wounds need attention. Greg shares an update about Steve and Charlotte, using them as an example of how this may show up in relationships and why it’s so important to “address” those old wounds.

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Time to Lick Those Wounds

Mon, 20 Sep 2021 22:47:51 -0000

Greg recaps the last episode before talking about how greater awareness leads to better choices and a desire for change. Greg explains that the hurt we experienced when we were younger was wrapped in layers of protection that we may no longer need; as adults, we may be ready to “air out” our wounds. He mentions the tools that he often shares with clients to help them move beyond the wounds and into choice.

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Awareness Shows Us Choices

Tue, 14 Sep 2021 17:21:46 -0000

After a recap of the last episode when Greg went into depth about the 4P’s (presence, practice, patience and positivity), Greg talks about how even the smallest intentional choices can get us off autopilot and into awareness. He updates listeners on Steve and Charlotte’s progress who he had challenged to recognize moments when they’re triggered. Steve had a “miss” he noticed, and a “win” Charlotte noticed; a hopeful move in the right direction. To connect with Greg , go to www.kipercounseling.com

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The 4 Ps of the Apocalypse (or How to Avoid a Personal Apocalypse)

Mon, 30 Aug 2021 23:18:19 -0000

After a recap of the last episode, Greg takes a slight detour from the normal cadence of the show to go into more depth about the 4 P’s (presence, practice, patience and positivity). Greg reviews the importance of each P both individually and collectively and how they tie back to greater awareness. To learn more about Greg and his practice go to www.kipercounseling

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Science 101: Action versus Reaction

Tue, 24 Aug 2021 00:23:58 -0000

Greg does a deeper dive into why we act or react the way we do when triggered by a stimulus brought on by the narratives or illusions we’ve been using to cope, likely since birth. He explains why we assess some things resulting in action versus reacting to others because of our fight, flight, or freeze mode. Using science, he shows the connection between the limbic system and our emotional responses. It’s an ah-ha moment for Stacy, and might be for you too. To connect with Greg go to www.kipercounseling.com

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When Opening The Heart, Try Not To Choke

Tue, 17 Aug 2021 17:19:21 -0000

Greg and Stacy pick up where they left off talking about “The Grand Illusion” and review how it can manifest in relationships. Greg explains how identifying and dealing with illusions can cause guilt and shame which is why some couples benefit more both individual and couples counseling. Lastly, Greg gives an update on Steve and Charlotte’s progress. To connect with Greg go to www.Kipercounseling.com

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The Grand Illusion

Tue, 10 Aug 2021 20:16:09 -0000

Greg continues on the topic of illusion in relationships; “the slight of mind” that triggers us, putting us back in a critical loop. Greg gives an example of how something as inconsequential as driving with windows open can trigger what he refers to as The Grand Illusion; deeply personal and multilayered, perceptions, feelings and thoughts that run deep and unobserved. Finally, Greg catches us up with how this Grand Illusion is impacting Steve and Charlotte. To connect with Greg go to www.kipercounseling.com

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Slight of Mind

Mon, 02 Aug 2021 22:37:46 -0000

Greg is back to talk about connection, illusion, and realization versus application. Catching listeners up on Steve and Charlotte’s progress, we learn they hit a speed bump on their road back to connection. Greg holds a mirror up to show them what happened and explains how frontloaded we can be when we believe there is an expectation of emotion.

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Not As Easy As It Sounds

Tue, 27 Jul 2021 17:23:26 -0000

Greg takes some time to practice what he promotes (connection with your SO) and leaves the show in Stacy and JD Wyneken’s (of This Show is All About You) hands. They reflect on how they relate to the journey of Steve and Charlotte and explore the weight of illusion in relationships. Greg calls in to add his thoughts and professional experience so the show doesn’t go totally awry in his absence!

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Holding Out Hands and Hope

Mon, 19 Jul 2021 22:35:14 -0000

Greg continues where last week left off; his second session working with Charlotte and Steve and how it ended. Charlotte and Steve share what happened after they left and how Steve’s vulnerability impacted them individually and as a couple. Greg reminded them (and listeners) about how being vulnerable and aware can lead to greater connection.

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Breakup to Breakthrough

Wed, 14 Jul 2021 18:38:05 -0000

Greg gives an update on the progress of “Char and Steve” after having time to reflect on their combined and individual appointments. A breakthrough occurs as they realize they both want the same thing; however, adaptations created from early childhood get in the way. Steve especially has a moment of awareness that allows them to leave hand in hand with hope.

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Mixed or Matched?

Tue, 29 Jun 2021 00:12:38 -0000

Today’s show begins with a question for Greg about interaction and connection with a significant other; Greg encourages Stacy (and listeners) not to be petty, and instead be clear about needs and desires. Greg then shares that when it comes to attachment types, there are no hard and fast rules; depending on the relationship, situation or stage, different types may emerge. Greg shares more about his type and how that manifests.

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Defense Mechanisms, Attachment Types and Triggers – Oh My!

Tue, 22 Jun 2021 18:22:17 -0000

Greg continues to share the journey of Charlotte and Steve, after meeting with them together and then each individually, Greg talks about what those sessions have uncovered about each of them. He shows how attachment type can be directly connected to relational trauma which left unchecked, pops up in relationships in the form of triggers. Greg explains that exploiting those triggers points is rarely a conscious act; rather it’s a subconscious act likely also stemming from relational trauma. The first step to repairing the relationship, is awareness.

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Steve: The Emotionally Bionic Man

Mon, 14 Jun 2021 23:23:12 -0000

Using “theoretical” couple Charlotte and Steve, Greg shows how much your past can trigger subconscious responses in your present relationships causing the critical loop many couples get stuck it for years. Greg shares what Steve talked about in his individual session and the assignment he gave until next time including being aware that the “triggering” isn’t malicious, instead it’s a defense.

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The Critical Loop Starts in Childhood

Mon, 07 Jun 2021 22:44:17 -0000

This time Greg and Stacy picked up where they last left off in talking about the critical loop that often occurs in relationships; how to recognize, move on and avoid triggering it in your significant other. Greg shares what he learned in his one-to-one session with Charlotte and in doing so highlights where her attachment stems from.

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From Meet Cute to Critical Loop

Tue, 25 May 2021 06:00:00 -0000

Today Greg spent most of the episode talking about his work with theoretical and very universal couple, Steve and Charlotte. Greg shared what happens typically in a second session during couples counseling; revisiting what brought the couple together in the beginning. Besides putting the couple in a safe, loving, nostalgic place, it gives Greg an understanding of their dynamic from the start of the coupling and how it might have lead to the start of their uncoupling.

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Attack. Defend. (Rinse and Repeat Until Our Hair Falls Out).

Mon, 17 May 2021 22:48:49 -0000

Today Greg talks about the Critical Loop many couples experience. Typically one partner is anxious and the other is avoidant so problems arise creating an anxious/avoidant trap or “dance.” Their problems aren’t necessarily stemming from conflict or poor communication, often that’s just symptomatic of fear of emotional disengagement. Greg also continues the story of Charlotte and Steve…

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Breaking The Loops We Jump Through

Mon, 10 May 2021 22:46:04 -0000

This week Greg reviews the anxious/avoidant trap and introduces what he calls the Critical Loop that relationships so often find themselves locked in. – a breakdown in communication, followed by criticism and then rejection and then depression which causes more conflict. Greg introduces Charlotte and Steve, a couple trapped in their own Critical Loop.

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When the Honeymoon is Over

Mon, 03 May 2021 23:22:31 -0000

Today Greg talks about what happens as a relationship goes from fun, to foundational to formal, and the erosion of emotional connectedness that can occur over time. Whether it wasn’t ever really there to begin with, or because of internal (kids) or external (job/financial) stressors, lasting relationships require a willingness to communicate and express needs.

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First Comes Love

Mon, 26 Apr 2021 22:56:35 -0000

Greg and Stacy move beyond the conversation of kids to discuss the importance of connection and communication in marriage and partnerships. So many relationships fall apart when each person’s baggage from their family of origin, collides, impacting the foundation of the relationship and calling into question whether the emotional connection was ever there.

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Relational Trauma is Very Relatable

Tue, 20 Apr 2021 17:10:32 -0000

Today Greg goes further into depth about relational trauma resulting from ruptured attachment. He explains more why it means and talks how it can relate to everyone, regardless of age. The conversation once again underscores how connection is at the root of awareness.

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Autonomy 101

Mon, 12 Apr 2021 23:06:15 -0000

Today Greg talks about the importance of nurturing autonomy in preteens and teens. He talks about how most parents struggle with this; out of fear of losing control, out of fear of how it might reflect on the family and out of fear for their kid’s safety and well-being. He also touched on relational trauma, which he’ll start with next time.

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Bowling with Bumpers

Mon, 05 Apr 2021 22:53:41 -0000

Today Greg expanded more on the topic of Family Contracts. Less for rules, regulations and consequences, and more as a co-authored manual for mutual respect among ALL family members; Family Contracts or Agreements are meant to reflect family values and safety, while still allowing room for respect, autonomy and building resilience.

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Stuck in the Middle

Tue, 30 Mar 2021 17:15:41 -0000

Today Greg and Stacy go back to middle school to explore the tumultuous years between ages 10 and 14. Greg offers ideas for how to navigate the onslaught of hormones, outside pressures and a desire for autonomy that inevitability has an effect on family dynamics.

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Good Grief This is Hard

Tue, 23 Mar 2021 00:19:50 -0000

Greg and Stacy talk about college admissions season and how best to handle the inevitable roller coaster of emotions that comes with the process. Greg points out that being rejected or even waitlisted by a school feels like a loss to these kids and they need the space to grieve. As parents, we must mirror them and hang on for the ride. They end the episode starting to talk about the middle-school years, a conversation they will continue in the next episode

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Feel First, Not Fix First

Mon, 15 Mar 2021 23:08:52 -0000

Today Greg continues the conversation about how to stay connected with our children at any age or stage. He and Stacy talk extensively about parent’s natural inclination to want to fix things versus “feel” them. Greg also talks about the importance of co-regulating emotions with our kids until they can self-regulate. Next time, more on the topic creating connection with pre-teens and teens.

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It’s Never too Late!

Tue, 09 Mar 2021 01:40:21 -0000

Today Greg reassures listeners that it’s never too late to make a connection with your kids. He and Stacy talk about the importance of encouraging autonomy for your kids early and often so they be an authority on their “real” selves. The only obstacle? Parents wanting to fix everything. More on that next time...

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Reciprocal To Rebellion; The Evolution Of Connection With Kids

Tue, 02 Mar 2021 00:34:06 -0000

Greg picks up where he left off last week exploring how disconnect with ourselves has a lasting impact on our children. Going through some of the ages and stages of childhood, Greg gives examples of how we sometimes unwittingly discourage kids from finding their “real” selves. He also shares what a healthy connection might look or sound like instead. The episode ends with good news; it’s never too late to reconnect! Next week Greg will share some ways to open, and deepen the connection with our older children in a way they will trust and welcome.

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Not Everyone Likes the Kool-Aid

Tue, 23 Feb 2021 01:59:29 -0000

Today Greg pivots the direction of the show; putting his theory into practice by answering questions about how lack of connection to self and others can manifest in real life. Using examples from his practice, Greg illustrates how disconnect can affect our relationships. Next week, Greg and Stacy will further explore how this looks for his teen clients.

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Will You Meet Real Self with Curiosity or Dread?

Tue, 16 Feb 2021 00:56:56 -0000

Will You Meet Real Self with Curiosity or Dread? In this episode Greg talks about how we all have multiple selves; an external self we present to others in the roles we play, an internal self that is born from coping with past experiences and finally, our real self. The real self is the one Greg believes we need to be aware of and connect with, to truly connect with others.

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The Most Vital Connection Is With Yourself

Tue, 09 Feb 2021 19:10:44 -0000

Today Greg doubled down on the importance of being connected to self in order to be better attuned with others. He and Stacy set the stage for future episodes to explore how poor communication skills impact relationships.

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Emotional Connection Starts with Reflection

Tue, 02 Feb 2021 01:10:02 -0000

Greg responds to a follow up question to last week’s episode about what emotional connection means by explaining how our past (infancy) subconsciously informs our present. Greg ends with a guided mediation that takes the listener back to a once-attuned connection, to illustrate what is possible with self and others.

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The Need For Emotional Connection

Tue, 26 Jan 2021 23:51:28 -0000

Greg and Stacy Heller talk about The Need For Emotional Connection. Getting to the root of the matter is key to solving problems and improving lives. It helps to have a guiding light when taking on life’s struggles and digging down to the root of the situation. At the Root, hosted by Greg Kiper, is just such a light. Tune in weekly for this informative and healing program. Greg is a licensed mental health counselor in Washington state, a certified holistic life coach, and a certified substance use disorder professional. He has a private practice and works with adults and adolescents, couples and families. He finds passion and purpose in helping find emotional connection both within and with others through his counseling, coaching and education program “Connection through Awareness.” Greg’s emotional connection with others can be a source of joy and personal growth to a source of pain and anxiety with anything (including disconnection) in between. Join psychotherapist and holistic life coach Greg Kiper as he challenges listeners to explore these connections and go on a journey of recognizing and expanding awareness. Experience an adventure of the mind, body, and spirit on At the Root. Take your first steps to learning more: Greg: gkattheroot@gmail.com www.kipercounseling.com

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Connection is Integration, NOT Assimilation

Tue, 19 Jan 2021 01:05:38 -0000

Greg talks about missing connections during the pandemic and about how connection to self is the first step to integration with others.

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At The Root– The First Show

Tue, 12 Jan 2021 00:40:41 -0000

Join host Greg Kiper for an introduction to Connection through Awareness. Getting to the root of the matter is key to solving problems and improving lives. It helps to have a guiding light when taking on life’s struggles and digging down to the root of the situation. At the Root, hosted by Greg Kiper, is just such a light. Tune in weekly for this informative and healing program. Greg is a licensed mental health counselor in Washington state, a certified holistic life coach, and a certified substance use disorder professional. He has a private practice and works with adults and adolescents, couples and families. He finds passion and purpose in helping find emotional connection both within and with others through his counseling, coaching and education program “Connection through Awareness.” Greg’s emotional connection with others can be a source of joy and personal growth to a source of pain and anxiety with anything (including disconnection) in between. Join psychotherapist and holistic life coach Greg Kiper as he challenges listeners to explore these connections and go on a journey of recognizing and expanding awareness. Experience an adventure of the mind, body, and spirit on At the Root. Take your first steps to learning more: Greg: gkattheroot@gmail.com www.kipercounseling.com Facebook: Greg Kiper Counseling Instagram: kiper.counseling

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