Keep Me Young en A weekly podcast bringing the world together through the ultimate unifier: fear of not getting a reference your friend just said at a party. Join hosts Blake Jennings and Heather Jones every Monday as they attempt to keep each other culturally relevant through pop culture, video games, entertainment, and whatever they feel is worthy of an unnecessary tangent! https://megaphone.imgix.net/podcasts/166d5e6e-7e99-11f0-8d6a-83404b870650/image/f85e1f847f5cf8dcd5e13f7b8106b87b.png?ixlib=rails-4.3.1&max-w=3000&max-h=3000&fit=crop&auto=format,compress Keep Me Young episodic Blake Jennings & Heather Jones A weekly podcast bringing the world together through the ultimate unifier: fear of not getting a reference your friend just said at a party. Join hosts Blake Jennings and Heather Jones every Monday as they attempt to keep each other culturally relevant through pop culture, video games, entertainment, and whatever they feel is worthy of an unnecessary tangent! A weekly podcast bringing the world together through the ultimate unifier: fear of not getting a reference your friend just said at a party. Join hosts Blake Jennings and Heather Jones every Monday as they attempt to keep each other culturally relevant through pop culture, video games, entertainment, and whatever they feel is worthy of an unnecessary tangent!

]]> Blake Jennings & Heather Jones ben@manatalentgroup.com James Charles and Hantavirus: The Two Villains of the Week Hi besties! Welcome to a nighttime episode where your favorite hosts are in an insomnia induced FLOW STATE. A bunch of Gay Guys are keeping us young this week. Firstly, Jake Shane’s feral interview skills, and secondly, Heather’s parasocial relationship of two gay guys on the internet Gus Heagerty and Dan Pelosi. We all deserve a love like that!!! Actually so many things are keeping us young this week, woof. We’ve got Hantavirus and its repercussions for people in the p*ss kink community, Jeff Bezo’s wife in her mother of the bride dress at the Met Gala and how people were shocked and appalled that billionaires are the only people who can support art at a high level in a Children’s choirs are catching strays too?? If there’s anything you should know about Keep Me Young Pod, it’s that we do NOT want to hear unison choral arrangements of pop songs, divas!!!! James Charles said something that rage baited Blake, so stick around for a really top shelf Blake Rant in the middle of the pod.  Depression meals this week are snackyyyy and we’ve got a light and easy Q&A about ~cinema.~ Two weeks in a row about movies, just waiting for A24 to ask to produce us. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or on Instagram @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 11 May 2026 21:08:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Hi besties! Welcome to a nighttime episode where your favorite hosts are in an insomnia induced FLOW STATE. A bunch of Gay Guys are keeping us young this week. Firstly, Jake Shane’s feral interview skills, and secondly, Heather’s parasocial relationship of two gay guys on the internet Gus Heagerty and Dan Pelosi. We all deserve a love like that!!! Actually so many things are keeping us young this week, woof. We’ve got Hantavirus and its repercussions for people in the p*ss kink community, Jeff Bezo’s wife in her mother of the bride dress at the Met Gala and how people were shocked and appalled that billionaires are the only people who can support art at a high level in a Children’s choirs are catching strays too?? If there’s anything you should know about Keep Me Young Pod, it’s that we do NOT want to hear unison choral arrangements of pop songs, divas!!!! James Charles said something that rage baited Blake, so stick around for a really top shelf Blake Rant in the middle of the pod.  Depression meals this week are snackyyyy and we’ve got a light and easy Q&A about ~cinema.~ Two weeks in a row about movies, just waiting for A24 to ask to produce us. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or on Instagram @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hi besties! Welcome to a nighttime episode where your favorite hosts are in an insomnia induced FLOW STATE. A bunch of Gay Guys are keeping us young this week. Firstly, Jake Shane’s feral interview skills, and secondly, Heather’s parasocial relationship of two gay guys on the internet Gus Heagerty and Dan Pelosi. We all deserve a love like that!!!

Actually so many things are keeping us young this week, woof. We’ve got Hantavirus and its repercussions for people in the p*ss kink community, Jeff Bezo’s wife in her mother of the bride dress at the Met Gala and how people were shocked and appalled that billionaires are the only people who can support art at a high level in a Children’s choirs are catching strays too?? If there’s anything you should know about Keep Me Young Pod, it’s that we do NOT want to hear unison choral arrangements of pop songs, divas!!!! James Charles said something that rage baited Blake, so stick around for a really top shelf Blake Rant in the middle of the pod. 

Depression meals this week are snackyyyy and we’ve got a light and easy Q&A about ~cinema.~ Two weeks in a row about movies, just waiting for A24 to ask to produce us.


Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or on Instagram @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband

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]]> 4874 The Devil Wears Prada 2 Fixed Us (Mostly) Y’all we were in some kind of silly goofy mood this week, so buckle up for a LOT of detours and tangents on a podcast that’s already built on detours and tangents. This week Blake is staying young because of Devil 2. We collectively are staying young because it is a renaissance for the MOVIES this summer. We heart CINEMA and having a Communal Movie Going Experience. And the choir said “Heartbreak feels good in a place like this!.” We discuss Blake’s human Barbie sister, nicknames that don’t age super well, Heather’s favorite body part on Blake, and the absolute buckwild poetry of Southern idioms. Heather ages all the way to boomer when they realize in real time that the trend of texts set to gospel music  is fully AI. Let us all take this  as a lesson to trust our instincts! Regular degular people in fact cannot write and perform and record gospel music so well or so quickly! Blake is yet again aging because of a conservative straight white man, this time in the form of alleged “comedian” Ben Bankas and a self posted video of his alleged “successful crowd work” wherein he harasses alleged “hecklers” who are simply two women who are not laughing at his jokes. Nobody freak out, but Keep Me Young was  featured in a small to medium viral post on Twitter for our HOT Heated Rivalry takes. And THAT’S why you should always say your opinions into a microphone if you are gay.  Our depression meals are surprisingly aspirational, just with really horrible execution. And Q&A this week is alllll about self care, baby. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or on Instagram @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 04 May 2026 19:45:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Y’all we were in some kind of silly goofy mood this week, so buckle up for a LOT of detours and tangents on a podcast that’s already built on detours and tangents. This week Blake is staying young because of Devil 2. We collectively are staying young because it is a renaissance for the MOVIES this summer. We heart CINEMA and having a Communal Movie Going Experience. And the choir said “Heartbreak feels good in a place like this!.” We discuss Blake’s human Barbie sister, nicknames that don’t age super well, Heather’s favorite body part on Blake, and the absolute buckwild poetry of Southern idioms. Heather ages all the way to boomer when they realize in real time that the trend of texts set to gospel music  is fully AI. Let us all take this  as a lesson to trust our instincts! Regular degular people in fact cannot write and perform and record gospel music so well or so quickly! Blake is yet again aging because of a conservative straight white man, this time in the form of alleged “comedian” Ben Bankas and a self posted video of his alleged “successful crowd work” wherein he harasses alleged “hecklers” who are simply two women who are not laughing at his jokes. Nobody freak out, but Keep Me Young was  featured in a small to medium viral post on Twitter for our HOT Heated Rivalry takes. And THAT’S why you should always say your opinions into a microphone if you are gay.  Our depression meals are surprisingly aspirational, just with really horrible execution. And Q&A this week is alllll about self care, baby. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or on Instagram @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Y’all we were in some kind of silly goofy mood this week, so buckle up for a LOT of detours and tangents on a podcast that’s already built on detours and tangents.

This week Blake is staying young because of Devil 2. We collectively are staying young because it is a renaissance for the MOVIES this summer. We heart CINEMA and having a Communal Movie Going Experience. And the choir said “Heartbreak feels good in a place like this!.”

We discuss Blake’s human Barbie sister, nicknames that don’t age super well, Heather’s favorite body part on Blake, and the absolute buckwild poetry of Southern idioms. Heather ages all the way to boomer when they realize in real time that the trend of texts set to gospel music  is fully AI. Let us all take this  as a lesson to trust our instincts! Regular degular people in fact cannot write and perform and record gospel music so well or so quickly! Blake is yet again aging because of a conservative straight white man, this time in the form of alleged “comedian” Ben Bankas and a self posted video of his alleged “successful crowd work” wherein he harasses alleged “hecklers” who are simply two women who are not laughing at his jokes. Nobody freak out, but Keep Me Young was  featured in a small to medium viral post on Twitter for our HOT Heated Rivalry takes. And THAT’S why you should always say your opinions into a microphone if you are gay. 

Our depression meals are surprisingly aspirational, just with really horrible execution. And Q&A this week is alllll about self care, baby. 
Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or on Instagram @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4472 The Correspondents' Dinner Shooting Is About to Spawn the Worst Takes You’ve Ever Seen Surprise we’re back! Keeping you on your toes here at KMY and we’re back from spring break aka Blake’s family vacation to Florida where against all odds he got sick. But he also had a birthday! HBD king, way to stay on theme with the pod by aging another year! This week our president’s inevitably horrible takes after the White House Correspondents Dinner is aging us. And that’s all we’re gonna say about that in print. Megan Thee Stallion getting CHEATED on causes us to get really philosophical about relationships in general, fame, money, infidelity, monogamy, and straight culture. Blake is thrilled at Euphoria being back on air, and is NOT MAD about That One Gross Scene, okay?? Heather is staying young watching Billie Eilish live her dreams as one less lonely girl with J Biebs at Coachella. She’s just like us, fr. We’re taking a brave stand and formally announcing that we’re pro-bicycles here at Keep Me Young. Unless we’re surrounded by a lot of people who hate bikes. And finally, we try to answer life’s big questions, like “can you think someone is hot without actually liking them?” and “are the youths fundamentally more careful and police-y because everything is filmed and they can’t make mistakes in private?”  We return to our roots with depression meals this week and prove that snacks are, in fact, food, and sometimes that’s a meal. Our submission is a true film noir, and let it be an example for creative writers everywhere.  Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 27 Apr 2026 20:00:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Surprise we’re back! Keeping you on your toes here at KMY and we’re back from spring break aka Blake’s family vacation to Florida where against all odds he got sick. But he also had a birthday! HBD king, way to stay on theme with the pod by aging another year! This week our president’s inevitably horrible takes after the White House Correspondents Dinner is aging us. And that’s all we’re gonna say about that in print. Megan Thee Stallion getting CHEATED on causes us to get really philosophical about relationships in general, fame, money, infidelity, monogamy, and straight culture. Blake is thrilled at Euphoria being back on air, and is NOT MAD about That One Gross Scene, okay?? Heather is staying young watching Billie Eilish live her dreams as one less lonely girl with J Biebs at Coachella. She’s just like us, fr. We’re taking a brave stand and formally announcing that we’re pro-bicycles here at Keep Me Young. Unless we’re surrounded by a lot of people who hate bikes. And finally, we try to answer life’s big questions, like “can you think someone is hot without actually liking them?” and “are the youths fundamentally more careful and police-y because everything is filmed and they can’t make mistakes in private?”  We return to our roots with depression meals this week and prove that snacks are, in fact, food, and sometimes that’s a meal. Our submission is a true film noir, and let it be an example for creative writers everywhere.  Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Surprise we’re back! Keeping you on your toes here at KMY and we’re back from spring break aka Blake’s family vacation to Florida where against all odds he got sick. But he also had a birthday! HBD king, way to stay on theme with the pod by aging another year!

This week our president’s inevitably horrible takes after the White House Correspondents Dinner is aging us. And that’s all we’re gonna say about that in print. Megan Thee Stallion getting CHEATED on causes us to get really philosophical about relationships in general, fame, money, infidelity, monogamy, and straight culture. Blake is thrilled at Euphoria being back on air, and is NOT MAD about That One Gross Scene, okay?? Heather is staying young watching Billie Eilish live her dreams as one less lonely girl with J Biebs at Coachella. She’s just like us, fr. We’re taking a brave stand and formally announcing that we’re pro-bicycles here at Keep Me Young. Unless we’re surrounded by a lot of people who hate bikes. And finally, we try to answer life’s big questions, like “can you think someone is hot without actually liking them?” and “are the youths fundamentally more careful and police-y because everything is filmed and they can’t make mistakes in private?” 

We return to our roots with depression meals this week and prove that snacks are, in fact, food, and sometimes that’s a meal. Our submission is a true film noir, and let it be an example for creative writers everywhere. 

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4049 Friends, Karaoke, and the Rapid Decline of Trump Stop EVERYTHING and tell us right now if you’re older than 25 and had to sign up for the draft as an 18 year old. Hello??? Did everyone except Heather know about this? Thanks to Queen Donna for her second cameo to clarify Blake’s near military service and our condolences to the newest draftees and let’s all meditate on the implications of compulsory military service for one half of the population because I guess we’ve deemed them both strong and disposable? Eeeeek! Please take a deep centering breath before reading this next sentence: This week Heather is aging muy rapido because of our idiot president and his idiot supporters and certain world leaders’ compulsive destruction and greed. Whew and moving on! Heather and Blake join each other after a night of irl friendship celebrating Blake literally aging another year (humiliating!) at a karaoke birthday party. We discuss karaoke culture, the best good/bad songs to sing in front of your friends, and the Love of the Sport of Singing. We share our personal power rankings of everyone in Friends, and then fall down a massive rabbit hole of early 2000s sitcoms like How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory and how so many of them were like, kinda bad and boring!  This week’s depression meals were supposed to be medicinal and they absolutely failed, but we redeemed ourselves with top shelf professional (?) Queer and Gay life advice. And you know what? As a little treat, we went on the longest tangent ever, absolutely losing our minds for the chubby hotties of the world. God bless. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 20 Apr 2026 20:00:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Stop EVERYTHING and tell us right now if you’re older than 25 and had to sign up for the draft as an 18 year old. Hello??? Did everyone except Heather know about this? Thanks to Queen Donna for her second cameo to clarify Blake’s near military service and our condolences to the newest draftees and let’s all meditate on the implications of compulsory military service for one half of the population because I guess we’ve deemed them both strong and disposable? Eeeeek! Please take a deep centering breath before reading this next sentence: This week Heather is aging muy rapido because of our idiot president and his idiot supporters and certain world leaders’ compulsive destruction and greed. Whew and moving on! Heather and Blake join each other after a night of irl friendship celebrating Blake literally aging another year (humiliating!) at a karaoke birthday party. We discuss karaoke culture, the best good/bad songs to sing in front of your friends, and the Love of the Sport of Singing. We share our personal power rankings of everyone in Friends, and then fall down a massive rabbit hole of early 2000s sitcoms like How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory and how so many of them were like, kinda bad and boring!  This week’s depression meals were supposed to be medicinal and they absolutely failed, but we redeemed ourselves with top shelf professional (?) Queer and Gay life advice. And you know what? As a little treat, we went on the longest tangent ever, absolutely losing our minds for the chubby hotties of the world. God bless. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Stop EVERYTHING and tell us right now if you’re older than 25 and had to sign up for the draft as an 18 year old. Hello??? Did everyone except Heather know about this? Thanks to Queen Donna for her second cameo to clarify Blake’s near military service and our condolences to the newest draftees and let’s all meditate on the implications of compulsory military service for one half of the population because I guess we’ve deemed them both strong and disposable? Eeeeek!

Please take a deep centering breath before reading this next sentence: This week Heather is aging muy rapido because of our idiot president and his idiot supporters and certain world leaders’ compulsive destruction and greed. Whew and moving on! Heather and Blake join each other after a night of irl friendship celebrating Blake literally aging another year (humiliating!) at a karaoke birthday party. We discuss karaoke culture, the best good/bad songs to sing in front of your friends, and the Love of the Sport of Singing. We share our personal power rankings of everyone in Friends, and then fall down a massive rabbit hole of early 2000s sitcoms like How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory and how so many of them were like, kinda bad and boring! 

This week’s depression meals were supposed to be medicinal and they absolutely failed, but we redeemed ourselves with top shelf professional (?) Queer and Gay life advice. And you know what? As a little treat, we went on the longest tangent ever, absolutely losing our minds for the chubby hotties of the world. God bless. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 5106 Boob: The Kristi Noem Story Two horrible politicians stand before me. But there’s only one photo in my hands. And this photo represents the girl that is still in the running towards becoming America’s Worst Trump Defender. I’ll only call one name and the girl that I do not call must immediately return to the house and pack your bags. Wait, PLOT TWIST both Pam Bondi and Kristi Noem were eliminated! Welcome back to Keep Me Young! This week Blake and Heather are staying young and wild and free because not even the devil’s handmaidens are safe from being fired. It’s really okay and fine to cross dress, even when you buy the cheapest b**bies that the dark web had to offer. But I guess not when your wife is a transphobe Republican? Keep that in mind. Also. We, two of the most chalant people you’ll ever parasocially know, are rapidly aging because of the epidemic of Cool Guys who wouldn’t be caught dead being earnest. Please we beg of you, join us on top of cringe mountain! The view is incredible! Where do YOU fall on the spectrum of Chappell Roan to Kanye in the “separate the art from the artist” debate?  This week’s depression meals are surprisingly healthy (?) and our Q&A brings us back to our youths when we literally didn’t know anything about the world or ourselves. As if that’s any different from now…Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 06 Apr 2026 20:00:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Two horrible politicians stand before me. But there’s only one photo in my hands. And this photo represents the girl that is still in the running towards becoming America’s Worst Trump Defender. I’ll only call one name and the girl that I do not call must immediately return to the house and pack your bags. Wait, PLOT TWIST both Pam Bondi and Kristi Noem were eliminated! Welcome back to Keep Me Young! This week Blake and Heather are staying young and wild and free because not even the devil’s handmaidens are safe from being fired. It’s really okay and fine to cross dress, even when you buy the cheapest b**bies that the dark web had to offer. But I guess not when your wife is a transphobe Republican? Keep that in mind. Also. We, two of the most chalant people you’ll ever parasocially know, are rapidly aging because of the epidemic of Cool Guys who wouldn’t be caught dead being earnest. Please we beg of you, join us on top of cringe mountain! The view is incredible! Where do YOU fall on the spectrum of Chappell Roan to Kanye in the “separate the art from the artist” debate?  This week’s depression meals are surprisingly healthy (?) and our Q&A brings us back to our youths when we literally didn’t know anything about the world or ourselves. As if that’s any different from now…Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Two horrible politicians stand before me. But there’s only one photo in my hands. And this photo represents the girl that is still in the running towards becoming America’s Worst Trump Defender. I’ll only call one name and the girl that I do not call must immediately return to the house and pack your bags. Wait, PLOT TWIST both Pam Bondi and Kristi Noem were eliminated! Welcome back to Keep Me Young!

This week Blake and Heather are staying young and wild and free because not even the devil’s handmaidens are safe from being fired. It’s really okay and fine to cross dress, even when you buy the cheapest b**bies that the dark web had to offer. But I guess not when your wife is a transphobe Republican? Keep that in mind. Also. We, two of the most chalant people you’ll ever parasocially know, are rapidly aging because of the epidemic of Cool Guys who wouldn’t be caught dead being earnest. Please we beg of you, join us on top of cringe mountain! The view is incredible! Where do YOU fall on the spectrum of Chappell Roan to Kanye in the “separate the art from the artist” debate? 

This week’s depression meals are surprisingly healthy (?) and our Q&A brings us back to our youths when we literally didn’t know anything about the world or ourselves. As if that’s any different from now…Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 5843 AI Fruit Love Island and it's Glorious Downfall A new bombshell has entered the villa! And he’s a banana with abs! If you’re counting, this is, in fact, week THREE of discussing our favorite adult high school freshmen, the Mormon wives, but 4 seasons of the show simply wasn’t enough so we’re injecting their personal lives (IG reels) directly into our veins. It’s working! Blake shines a light on a corner of the internet that Heather never wants to visit: AI generated love island episodes on TikTok, but the people are all “sexy” fruit. There is LORE there is SCANDAL there is PETTINESS and, praise be to the internet gods, there is also an end in sight because Sora was abruptly shut down when Open AI got bullied hard enough. H*rry P*tter tv on HBO is aging us all and we are so tired of JK making money. Nobody watch it! Or at least use a pirated HBO account! We take a philosophical turn and ask: is Cards Against Humanity a game for unfunny people to feel funny? If you are an inherently funny person, should you take the game seriously or tone it down for the normies to feel good about themselves?  Depression meals take us on a journey through adulthood, and this week’s Q&A makes Blake absolutely crash out. What is the lower limit to be considered an “elder queer” we ask you???? Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 30 Mar 2026 19:43:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones A new bombshell has entered the villa! And he’s a banana with abs! If you’re counting, this is, in fact, week THREE of discussing our favorite adult high school freshmen, the Mormon wives, but 4 seasons of the show simply wasn’t enough so we’re injecting their personal lives (IG reels) directly into our veins. It’s working! Blake shines a light on a corner of the internet that Heather never wants to visit: AI generated love island episodes on TikTok, but the people are all “sexy” fruit. There is LORE there is SCANDAL there is PETTINESS and, praise be to the internet gods, there is also an end in sight because Sora was abruptly shut down when Open AI got bullied hard enough. H*rry P*tter tv on HBO is aging us all and we are so tired of JK making money. Nobody watch it! Or at least use a pirated HBO account! We take a philosophical turn and ask: is Cards Against Humanity a game for unfunny people to feel funny? If you are an inherently funny person, should you take the game seriously or tone it down for the normies to feel good about themselves?  Depression meals take us on a journey through adulthood, and this week’s Q&A makes Blake absolutely crash out. What is the lower limit to be considered an “elder queer” we ask you???? Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices A new bombshell has entered the villa! And he’s a banana with abs!

If you’re counting, this is, in fact, week THREE of discussing our favorite adult high school freshmen, the Mormon wives, but 4 seasons of the show simply wasn’t enough so we’re injecting their personal lives (IG reels) directly into our veins. It’s working! Blake shines a light on a corner of the internet that Heather never wants to visit: AI generated love island episodes on TikTok, but the people are all “sexy” fruit. There is LORE there is SCANDAL there is PETTINESS and, praise be to the internet gods, there is also an end in sight because Sora was abruptly shut down when Open AI got bullied hard enough. H*rry P*tter tv on HBO is aging us all and we are so tired of JK making money. Nobody watch it! Or at least use a pirated HBO account! We take a philosophical turn and ask: is Cards Against Humanity a game for unfunny people to feel funny? If you are an inherently funny person, should you take the game seriously or tone it down for the normies to feel good about themselves? 

Depression meals take us on a journey through adulthood, and this week’s Q&A makes Blake absolutely crash out. What is the lower limit to be considered an “elder queer” we ask you???? Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4635 The (Predictable) Downfall of the Mormon Wives WILL MOMTOK SURVIVE THIS???Trust that if we could make an entire podcast just about our real life actual blood relatives, the Mormon wives, we WOULD. But for now, that content lives here. Blake and Heather are both aging rapidly because of the many scandals following those poor girls (adult women) on that show about filler and hair extensions. We’re staying young by trying new things and feeling literally and spiritually much younger than Hilary Duff. Blake will be forever young because of the far right’s response to…everything, but this week it’s how republican snowflakes are secondhand offended by Rama Duwaji’s tweet about all these f-slurs following her. In her defense, they were probably really loud and annoying!!! Depression meals come with a LOT of context this week, and we are doing the lord’s work by telling the gay youths to stay single and get a hobby because crushes are sooooo much better when they’re queer and reciprocated. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 23 Mar 2026 18:45:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones WILL MOMTOK SURVIVE THIS???Trust that if we could make an entire podcast just about our real life actual blood relatives, the Mormon wives, we WOULD. But for now, that content lives here. Blake and Heather are both aging rapidly because of the many scandals following those poor girls (adult women) on that show about filler and hair extensions. We’re staying young by trying new things and feeling literally and spiritually much younger than Hilary Duff. Blake will be forever young because of the far right’s response to…everything, but this week it’s how republican snowflakes are secondhand offended by Rama Duwaji’s tweet about all these f-slurs following her. In her defense, they were probably really loud and annoying!!! Depression meals come with a LOT of context this week, and we are doing the lord’s work by telling the gay youths to stay single and get a hobby because crushes are sooooo much better when they’re queer and reciprocated. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices WILL MOMTOK SURVIVE THIS???Trust that if we could make an entire podcast just about our real life actual blood relatives, the Mormon wives, we WOULD. But for now, that content lives here. Blake and Heather are both aging rapidly because of the many scandals following those poor girls (adult women) on that show about filler and hair extensions. We’re staying young by trying new things and feeling literally and spiritually much younger than Hilary Duff. Blake will be forever young because of the far right’s response to…everything, but this week it’s how republican snowflakes are secondhand offended by Rama Duwaji’s tweet about all these f-slurs following her. In her defense, they were probably really loud and annoying!!!

Depression meals come with a LOT of context this week, and we are doing the lord’s work by telling the gay youths to stay single and get a hobby because crushes are sooooo much better when they’re queer and reciprocated. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4709 The Oscars, Peanut VTubers, and How They're Both Exhausting A very happy Oscars week to all who celebrate! Do we actually celebrate? Do we actually know how to talk about film? Unclear! But we each know at least one person who has AMC Stubs memberships, so that’s something.This week Blake and Heather are staying young with supplements, first and foremost. But also by watching prestige television aka the best in the botoxed biz aka our favorite Mormon Wives. We get to keep our young gay cards by discussing Drag Race season 378 - I mean 18 and reminiscing about cringey drag queen sightings in the wild. Blake continues to spread the good news of his Lord and Savior Pokopia and finds real life virtual community through streaming. Heather learns more than they ever wanted to know about *checks notes* dueling peanut Vtubers?? And everyone debates the age old question: to suburbia or not to suburbia?We’ve got a depression meal submission from across the pond and a Q&A that elicits not one not two but THREE self help slogans. Does it make it better or worse to know that we genuinely believe them?? Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 16 Mar 2026 20:05:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones A very happy Oscars week to all who celebrate! Do we actually celebrate? Do we actually know how to talk about film? Unclear! But we each know at least one person who has AMC Stubs memberships, so that’s something.This week Blake and Heather are staying young with supplements, first and foremost. But also by watching prestige television aka the best in the botoxed biz aka our favorite Mormon Wives. We get to keep our young gay cards by discussing Drag Race season 378 - I mean 18 and reminiscing about cringey drag queen sightings in the wild. Blake continues to spread the good news of his Lord and Savior Pokopia and finds real life virtual community through streaming. Heather learns more than they ever wanted to know about *checks notes* dueling peanut Vtubers?? And everyone debates the age old question: to suburbia or not to suburbia?We’ve got a depression meal submission from across the pond and a Q&A that elicits not one not two but THREE self help slogans. Does it make it better or worse to know that we genuinely believe them?? Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices A very happy Oscars week to all who celebrate! Do we actually celebrate? Do we actually know how to talk about film? Unclear! But we each know at least one person who has AMC Stubs memberships, so that’s something.This week Blake and Heather are staying young with supplements, first and foremost. But also by watching prestige television aka the best in the botoxed biz aka our favorite Mormon Wives. We get to keep our young gay cards by discussing Drag Race season 378 - I mean 18 and reminiscing about cringey drag queen sightings in the wild. Blake continues to spread the good news of his Lord and Savior Pokopia and finds real life virtual community through streaming. Heather learns more than they ever wanted to know about *checks notes* dueling peanut Vtubers?? And everyone debates the age old question: to suburbia or not to suburbia?We’ve got a depression meal submission from across the pond and a Q&A that elicits not one not two but THREE self help slogans. Does it make it better or worse to know that we genuinely believe them??

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 5171 Two Opera Singers Discuss Timothée Chalamet Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 09 Mar 2026 18:45:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 5311 Katseye and Hockey: The Week of Dissapointment Is that actual hope on the horizon, or has it just stopped snowing? Who’s to say! Either way the world is on fire and we’re happy you’re watching it burn with us.Blake educates the children (Heather) on the latest K Pop drama and Heather educates the sheeple (Blake) on the *reads notes* Jim Carey conspiracy theories?? We’re both staying young because of our lord and savior Chris Fleming’s new stand up special and we know that if anyone can get this country back on track, it’s Trans Kansans, aka Transans.  Blake and Heather mix in a little anxiety into their depression meals and answer the age old question: would you rather be dumb and happy or informed and sad? The answer might surprise you! Not clickbait!! Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 02 Mar 2026 21:54:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Is that actual hope on the horizon, or has it just stopped snowing? Who’s to say! Either way the world is on fire and we’re happy you’re watching it burn with us.Blake educates the children (Heather) on the latest K Pop drama and Heather educates the sheeple (Blake) on the *reads notes* Jim Carey conspiracy theories?? We’re both staying young because of our lord and savior Chris Fleming’s new stand up special and we know that if anyone can get this country back on track, it’s Trans Kansans, aka Transans.  Blake and Heather mix in a little anxiety into their depression meals and answer the age old question: would you rather be dumb and happy or informed and sad? The answer might surprise you! Not clickbait!! Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Is that actual hope on the horizon, or has it just stopped snowing? Who’s to say! Either way the world is on fire and we’re happy you’re watching it burn with us.Blake educates the children (Heather) on the latest K Pop drama and Heather educates the sheeple (Blake) on the *reads notes* Jim Carey conspiracy theories?? We’re both staying young because of our lord and savior Chris Fleming’s new stand up special and we know that if anyone can get this country back on track, it’s Trans Kansans, aka Transans. 

Blake and Heather mix in a little anxiety into their depression meals and answer the age old question: would you rather be dumb and happy or informed and sad? The answer might surprise you! Not clickbait!!

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4266 National Treasure Alysa Liu and MAGAs Desperate Attempt to Claim Her U-S-A! U-S-A! That’s how you spell Alysa Liu, right? We’re smitten with all of our gold medal woke 3.0 girlies this week and truly have never been such experts of ice related sports. And maybe never will be again! Everyone is staying young because of the hope injected in our veins in the form of winter olympic sports. And yet, we’re also aging because of 1. How they’re really NOT like us, fr and 2. How Republicans have made it about them yet again. Blake and Heather revisit some big theatre kid energy memories from opera camp, Heather FINALLY saw K Pop Demon Hunters, and Blake has opinions about twitch streaming etiquette, so take notes. Depression meals are maybe not as depressing as we think this week and our Q&A is the first “would you rather” we’ve gotten so far. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 23 Feb 2026 19:45:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones U-S-A! U-S-A! That’s how you spell Alysa Liu, right? We’re smitten with all of our gold medal woke 3.0 girlies this week and truly have never been such experts of ice related sports. And maybe never will be again! Everyone is staying young because of the hope injected in our veins in the form of winter olympic sports. And yet, we’re also aging because of 1. How they’re really NOT like us, fr and 2. How Republicans have made it about them yet again. Blake and Heather revisit some big theatre kid energy memories from opera camp, Heather FINALLY saw K Pop Demon Hunters, and Blake has opinions about twitch streaming etiquette, so take notes. Depression meals are maybe not as depressing as we think this week and our Q&A is the first “would you rather” we’ve gotten so far. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices U-S-A! U-S-A! That’s how you spell Alysa Liu, right? We’re smitten with all of our gold medal woke 3.0 girlies this week and truly have never been such experts of ice related sports. And maybe never will be again! Everyone is staying young because of the hope injected in our veins in the form of winter olympic sports. And yet, we’re also aging because of 1. How they’re really NOT like us, fr and 2. How Republicans have made it about them yet again. Blake and Heather revisit some big theatre kid energy memories from opera camp, Heather FINALLY saw K Pop Demon Hunters, and Blake has opinions about twitch streaming etiquette, so take notes.

Depression meals are maybe not as depressing as we think this week and our Q&A is the first “would you rather” we’ve gotten so far. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 3814 Episode 25 - The Olympics, The Super Bowl, and The Worst Musician We've Ever Heard Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 16 Feb 2026 20:01:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4626 Episode 24 - Melania: The Flop Heard 'Round The World Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 09 Feb 2026 20:45:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4603 Episode 23 - How The Grammys Made Us Feel Old | Keep Me Young (ft. Kyle Ridley!) Spotify: (https://open.spotify.com/show/5T1lFECguCHnfbzyokEWTM?si=JLozFQEVRnC0HXPjHMHPSA) Apple Podcasts: (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/keep-me-young/id1835442547) Instagram for Q&A/Depression Meals: (https://www.instagram.com/keepmeyoungpod/) Theme Song: “Old” written and performed by pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick (https://www.instagram.com/popkisstheband/) (https://www.instagram.com/niconeeek/) (https://www.instagram.com/sydneypatrick_/) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 02 Feb 2026 20:45:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Spotify: (https://open.spotify.com/show/5T1lFECguCHnfbzyokEWTM?si=JLozFQEVRnC0HXPjHMHPSA) Apple Podcasts: (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/keep-me-young/id1835442547) Instagram for Q&A/Depression Meals: (https://www.instagram.com/keepmeyoungpod/) Theme Song: “Old” written and performed by pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick (https://www.instagram.com/popkisstheband/) (https://www.instagram.com/niconeeek/) (https://www.instagram.com/sydneypatrick_/) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Spotify: (https://open.spotify.com/show/5T1lFECguCHnfbzyokEWTM?si=JLozFQEVRnC0HXPjHMHPSA) Apple Podcasts: (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/keep-me-young/id1835442547) Instagram for Q&A/Depression Meals: (https://www.instagram.com/keepmeyoungpod/) Theme Song: “Old” written and performed by pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick (https://www.instagram.com/popkisstheband/) (https://www.instagram.com/niconeeek/) (https://www.instagram.com/sydneypatrick_/)

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4250 Episode 22 - AI Bubbles, ICE, Stranger Things, and the Phantom of the Opera Hey y’aaalllll. How we doin? Fearing for American civil war? Cool, us too! Wanna take an hour away from the dread and gab with your parasocial pals? Okay, come on in. This week we almost immediately devolve into a tangent about fast food because we are nothing if not connoisseurs of fried brown things. Did you know people are donating blood to get rid of microplastics? Good luck to the recipients. Heather’s keeping young by fangirling about ~theatre~ after seeing MASQUERADE aka the interactive, fan fiction answer to Phantom of the Opera closing. Blake is staying young because it’s seeming like the AI bubble might burst! Yay! Blake is aging because of the internet’s reaction to something (again) and Heather is aging because of America’s absolutely abysmal so-called democrazy (again).Dear listeners. Please indulge us - honestly for the bulk of the episode - while we go photo by photo of our own ig 2016 post. That’s right, it’s a full on slide show of inside jokes and summer memories from TEN years ago. On a famously audio based medium! But idk, maybe you’ll like it! The 20 other traumatized opera singer friends who were there will love it. We double up on Depression Meal submissions this week but the Q&A is surprisingly un-depressing. And that’s balance, folks! Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 26 Jan 2026 18:45:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Hey y’aaalllll. How we doin? Fearing for American civil war? Cool, us too! Wanna take an hour away from the dread and gab with your parasocial pals? Okay, come on in. This week we almost immediately devolve into a tangent about fast food because we are nothing if not connoisseurs of fried brown things. Did you know people are donating blood to get rid of microplastics? Good luck to the recipients. Heather’s keeping young by fangirling about ~theatre~ after seeing MASQUERADE aka the interactive, fan fiction answer to Phantom of the Opera closing. Blake is staying young because it’s seeming like the AI bubble might burst! Yay! Blake is aging because of the internet’s reaction to something (again) and Heather is aging because of America’s absolutely abysmal so-called democrazy (again).Dear listeners. Please indulge us - honestly for the bulk of the episode - while we go photo by photo of our own ig 2016 post. That’s right, it’s a full on slide show of inside jokes and summer memories from TEN years ago. On a famously audio based medium! But idk, maybe you’ll like it! The 20 other traumatized opera singer friends who were there will love it. We double up on Depression Meal submissions this week but the Q&A is surprisingly un-depressing. And that’s balance, folks! Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hey y’aaalllll. How we doin? Fearing for American civil war? Cool, us too! Wanna take an hour away from the dread and gab with your parasocial pals? Okay, come on in. This week we almost immediately devolve into a tangent about fast food because we are nothing if not connoisseurs of fried brown things. Did you know people are donating blood to get rid of microplastics? Good luck to the recipients. Heather’s keeping young by fangirling about ~theatre~ after seeing MASQUERADE aka the interactive, fan fiction answer to Phantom of the Opera closing. Blake is staying young because it’s seeming like the AI bubble might burst! Yay! Blake is aging because of the internet’s reaction to something (again) and Heather is aging because of America’s absolutely abysmal so-called democrazy (again).Dear listeners. Please indulge us - honestly for the bulk of the episode - while we go photo by photo of our own ig 2016 post. That’s right, it’s a full on slide show of inside jokes and summer memories from TEN years ago. On a famously audio based medium! But idk, maybe you’ll like it! The 20 other traumatized opera singer friends who were there will love it.

We double up on Depression Meal submissions this week but the Q&A is surprisingly un-depressing. And that’s balance, folks!


Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.


Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 3781 Episode 21 - The Heated Rivalry Fandom Has Officially Lost It Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 19 Jan 2026 20:45:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4416 Episode 20 - The Streamer that's Hilariously Terrorizing JD Vance Happy Heather’s Birthday Week to all who celebrate! And ALL of you should be celebrating 🔫🔫🔫This week we start with a bang trying to answer life’s big questions: Are blowjobs as life changing as the gay hockey boys make them look? Are flawed characters important in TV and film even if they make us feel bad and weird? Should you talk to your friends about sex and show them your privates for science reasons? We are ultimately the arbiters of both taste and truth, so whatever we said in the episode is objectively the right answer!  Avatar is aging us, both because James Cameron is a nutcase with a god complex and also because we’ll be 75 by the time all the movies come out. But we’re staying young - despite the absolute horrors of the world and ICE and the federal government - because of vigilante gen z trolls like Connor Eats Pants who are not scared to tear JD Vance to shreds in Twitter comments. Literally eat our shorts. Also! In a surprise twist! As it turns out, hanging out with your mom’s friends can keep you young, too! Try it! They know things, and your mom is literally just a girl who has friends!Our DMMs are giving ~spectrum~ as usual, and our submission is a whole scena worthy of an opera plot. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 12 Jan 2026 20:45:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Happy Heather’s Birthday Week to all who celebrate! And ALL of you should be celebrating 🔫🔫🔫This week we start with a bang trying to answer life’s big questions: Are blowjobs as life changing as the gay hockey boys make them look? Are flawed characters important in TV and film even if they make us feel bad and weird? Should you talk to your friends about sex and show them your privates for science reasons? We are ultimately the arbiters of both taste and truth, so whatever we said in the episode is objectively the right answer!  Avatar is aging us, both because James Cameron is a nutcase with a god complex and also because we’ll be 75 by the time all the movies come out. But we’re staying young - despite the absolute horrors of the world and ICE and the federal government - because of vigilante gen z trolls like Connor Eats Pants who are not scared to tear JD Vance to shreds in Twitter comments. Literally eat our shorts. Also! In a surprise twist! As it turns out, hanging out with your mom’s friends can keep you young, too! Try it! They know things, and your mom is literally just a girl who has friends!Our DMMs are giving ~spectrum~ as usual, and our submission is a whole scena worthy of an opera plot. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Happy Heather’s Birthday Week to all who celebrate! And ALL of you should be celebrating 🔫🔫🔫This week we start with a bang trying to answer life’s big questions: Are blowjobs as life changing as the gay hockey boys make them look? Are flawed characters important in TV and film even if they make us feel bad and weird? Should you talk to your friends about sex and show them your privates for science reasons? We are ultimately the arbiters of both taste and truth, so whatever we said in the episode is objectively the right answer! 

Avatar is aging us, both because James Cameron is a nutcase with a god complex and also because we’ll be 75 by the time all the movies come out. But we’re staying young - despite the absolute horrors of the world and ICE and the federal government - because of vigilante gen z trolls like Connor Eats Pants who are not scared to tear JD Vance to shreds in Twitter comments. Literally eat our shorts. Also! In a surprise twist! As it turns out, hanging out with your mom’s friends can keep you young, too! Try it! They know things, and your mom is literally just a girl who has friends!Our DMMs are giving ~spectrum~ as usual, and our submission is a whole scena worthy of an opera plot. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4589 Episode 19 - Finally Discussing the Gay Hockey Show Welcome to 2026, old! Whether we like it or not, time marches on and we’ve entered another year of Bill Gates’s internet’s analog alternate reality, also known as reality. We hope you’re hydrated and ready for more rants and hot takes and Glee references! This week, Blake is (r)age-baited by The People’s Reaction to Chappell Roan and Heather refuses to be okay with the low bar of entertainment that Andy and Anderson bring us each NYE. HOWEVER. We are being kept in INFANCY by the ancient (30yo+) queens on this season of Drag Race and those two nice butts I mean boys of Heated Rivalry. And bonus! Not only was Blake scouted by Abercrombie and Fitch as a teenager; he’s also on a billboard in Time Square!! And that’s basically as good as having gay hockey sex in an HBO tv show. We lust after The Old Days of Mumford and Sons, flannel, and infinity scarves and scientifically prove that millennials have always been cringe and have always been HAPPY. Sorry about it. We get vulnerable with some new year’s resolutions, hear the most unhinged DMM we’ve heard to date, and as always, we answer your Q&A as your favorite Queer and Gay. It’s a great year to be alive and podcasting and clinging to sanity by our pinky toenails, folks! Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 05 Jan 2026 20:45:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Welcome to 2026, old! Whether we like it or not, time marches on and we’ve entered another year of Bill Gates’s internet’s analog alternate reality, also known as reality. We hope you’re hydrated and ready for more rants and hot takes and Glee references! This week, Blake is (r)age-baited by The People’s Reaction to Chappell Roan and Heather refuses to be okay with the low bar of entertainment that Andy and Anderson bring us each NYE. HOWEVER. We are being kept in INFANCY by the ancient (30yo+) queens on this season of Drag Race and those two nice butts I mean boys of Heated Rivalry. And bonus! Not only was Blake scouted by Abercrombie and Fitch as a teenager; he’s also on a billboard in Time Square!! And that’s basically as good as having gay hockey sex in an HBO tv show. We lust after The Old Days of Mumford and Sons, flannel, and infinity scarves and scientifically prove that millennials have always been cringe and have always been HAPPY. Sorry about it. We get vulnerable with some new year’s resolutions, hear the most unhinged DMM we’ve heard to date, and as always, we answer your Q&A as your favorite Queer and Gay. It’s a great year to be alive and podcasting and clinging to sanity by our pinky toenails, folks! Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Welcome to 2026, old! Whether we like it or not, time marches on and we’ve entered another year of Bill Gates’s internet’s analog alternate reality, also known as reality. We hope you’re hydrated and ready for more rants and hot takes and Glee references!

This week, Blake is (r)age-baited by The People’s Reaction to Chappell Roan and Heather refuses to be okay with the low bar of entertainment that Andy and Anderson bring us each NYE. HOWEVER. We are being kept in INFANCY by the ancient (30yo+) queens on this season of Drag Race and those two nice butts I mean boys of Heated Rivalry. And bonus! Not only was Blake scouted by Abercrombie and Fitch as a teenager; he’s also on a billboard in Time Square!! And that’s basically as good as having gay hockey sex in an HBO tv show. We lust after The Old Days of Mumford and Sons, flannel, and infinity scarves and scientifically prove that millennials have always been cringe and have always been HAPPY. Sorry about it. We get vulnerable with some new year’s resolutions, hear the most unhinged DMM we’ve heard to date, and as always, we answer your Q&A as your favorite Queer and Gay. It’s a great year to be alive and podcasting and clinging to sanity by our pinky toenails, folks!

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 5018 Episode 18 - The Holiday/Nicki Minaj Rant Special! Y’all coming on the cousin walk? In this very special holiday episode, Blake and Heather are bringing the pagan/Christmas/Hanukkah/solstice cheer. Feel free to throw us on the living room speakers to get your family to stop asking you when you’re having kids/buying a house/contributing to your 401k! Or (more likely) go outside for a menty health walk to get away from said family and hang with us instead for the length of a very short opera. This week we discuss Glee’s absolutely unhinged Christmas specials (YES all four), what “fruity pebbles” really means, Donald Tr*mp’s America’s newest patriot Nicki Minaj, how Sex and the City and Jiminy Glick have aged over the years, the benefits of recreational complaining, how emotionally manipulative “The Christmas Shoes” is, and a rapid fire round of our Christmas faves and least faves. Highlights include: Kelly Clarkson, jumping on a trampoline with a golden retriever, and discovering that Hook is, in fact, a Christmas movie. We are hashtag blessed with a cameo appearance by QUEEN DONNA aka Blake’s mom aka the woman who camped outside Toys R Us for a Wii and let Santa take credit for it. We’ll pick back up with DMM and Q&A next week! Submit your saddest meals and queerest queries to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Wed, 24 Dec 2025 20:10:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Y’all coming on the cousin walk? In this very special holiday episode, Blake and Heather are bringing the pagan/Christmas/Hanukkah/solstice cheer. Feel free to throw us on the living room speakers to get your family to stop asking you when you’re having kids/buying a house/contributing to your 401k! Or (more likely) go outside for a menty health walk to get away from said family and hang with us instead for the length of a very short opera. This week we discuss Glee’s absolutely unhinged Christmas specials (YES all four), what “fruity pebbles” really means, Donald Tr*mp’s America’s newest patriot Nicki Minaj, how Sex and the City and Jiminy Glick have aged over the years, the benefits of recreational complaining, how emotionally manipulative “The Christmas Shoes” is, and a rapid fire round of our Christmas faves and least faves. Highlights include: Kelly Clarkson, jumping on a trampoline with a golden retriever, and discovering that Hook is, in fact, a Christmas movie. We are hashtag blessed with a cameo appearance by QUEEN DONNA aka Blake’s mom aka the woman who camped outside Toys R Us for a Wii and let Santa take credit for it. We’ll pick back up with DMM and Q&A next week! Submit your saddest meals and queerest queries to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Y’all coming on the cousin walk? In this very special holiday episode, Blake and Heather are bringing the pagan/Christmas/Hanukkah/solstice cheer. Feel free to throw us on the living room speakers to get your family to stop asking you when you’re having kids/buying a house/contributing to your 401k! Or (more likely) go outside for a menty health walk to get away from said family and hang with us instead for the length of a very short opera.

This week we discuss Glee’s absolutely unhinged Christmas specials (YES all four), what “fruity pebbles” really means, Donald Tr*mp’s America’s newest patriot Nicki Minaj, how Sex and the City and Jiminy Glick have aged over the years, the benefits of recreational complaining, how emotionally manipulative “The Christmas Shoes” is, and a rapid fire round of our Christmas faves and least faves. Highlights include: Kelly Clarkson, jumping on a trampoline with a golden retriever, and discovering that Hook is, in fact, a Christmas movie.

We are hashtag blessed with a cameo appearance by QUEEN DONNA aka Blake’s mom aka the woman who camped outside Toys R Us for a Wii and let Santa take credit for it. We’ll pick back up with DMM and Q&A next week! Submit your saddest meals and queerest queries to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 5019 Episode 17 - The Game Awards Rocked and Everyone's Lame Now Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 15 Dec 2025 20:30:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4885 Episode 16 - Spotify Wrapped and Sabrina Carpenter's Clapback What do astrology and Spotify wrapped have in common? Organizing people into groups with fun graphics, mystical and mysterious meanings that are maybe fake, and gay people love to yap about them! Stop gatekeeping and tell us what you’re listening to!  This week Heather and Blake persevere through the fog of being sleepyheads to chat about their favorite music of 2025, according to a subscription streaming service, the Christmas season and how it brings out the best and worst in media, the pronoun pipeline, and the demon twink behind the White House twitter account. Where do we stand on hating other people’s kids? Are Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders or Mormon Wives America’s actual sweethearts? Is “listening age” just ragebait to make us feel old as hell? It’s working! Mood altering drugs are a strong presence in our depression meals this week but Blake’s mood was changed for the better learning about chomping on dry ramen, thanks to our DMM listener submission.  Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 08 Dec 2025 21:48:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones What do astrology and Spotify wrapped have in common? Organizing people into groups with fun graphics, mystical and mysterious meanings that are maybe fake, and gay people love to yap about them! Stop gatekeeping and tell us what you’re listening to!  This week Heather and Blake persevere through the fog of being sleepyheads to chat about their favorite music of 2025, according to a subscription streaming service, the Christmas season and how it brings out the best and worst in media, the pronoun pipeline, and the demon twink behind the White House twitter account. Where do we stand on hating other people’s kids? Are Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders or Mormon Wives America’s actual sweethearts? Is “listening age” just ragebait to make us feel old as hell? It’s working! Mood altering drugs are a strong presence in our depression meals this week but Blake’s mood was changed for the better learning about chomping on dry ramen, thanks to our DMM listener submission.  Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices What do astrology and Spotify wrapped have in common? Organizing people into groups with fun graphics, mystical and mysterious meanings that are maybe fake, and gay people love to yap about them! Stop gatekeeping and tell us what you’re listening to! 

This week Heather and Blake persevere through the fog of being sleepyheads to chat about their favorite music of 2025, according to a subscription streaming service, the Christmas season and how it brings out the best and worst in media, the pronoun pipeline, and the demon twink behind the White House twitter account. Where do we stand on hating other people’s kids? Are Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders or Mormon Wives America’s actual sweethearts? Is “listening age” just ragebait to make us feel old as hell? It’s working! Mood altering drugs are a strong presence in our depression meals this week but Blake’s mood was changed for the better learning about chomping on dry ramen, thanks to our DMM listener submission. 

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4425 Episode 15 - All Our Problems Lead To Wicked Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 01 Dec 2025 20:45:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4506 Episode 14 - Vine is Back and So are We Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 17 Nov 2025 21:49:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4021 Episode 13 - Woke Is Back For Everyone But The Sims WOKE IS BACK Y’ALL and our pronouns are zoh/ran. Congratulations to NYC for inspiring a nation and having the hottest mayor and first lady we’ve ever seen.  This week Blake and Heather are basically UN ambassadors, discussing the democrats’ many wins, China’s social media laws, and the ~implications~ of a Saudi Arabian company acquiring EA and The Sims. Go off, poly sci kings! We’re not all brains, though - Heather is holding space for their somatic existence by suffering from seasonal affective disorder. They’re not like other theys! We love to hate on youtube haters, Blake shows us behind the curtain of gaming sponsorships, Heather actually knows something about GTA! But they heard it on a podcast. JetBlue lets us all down, a listener asks about the line between flirting and cheating, and everyone reeeeeally puts the depressed in Depression Meal Mondays this week.  Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 10 Nov 2025 20:30:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones WOKE IS BACK Y’ALL and our pronouns are zoh/ran. Congratulations to NYC for inspiring a nation and having the hottest mayor and first lady we’ve ever seen.  This week Blake and Heather are basically UN ambassadors, discussing the democrats’ many wins, China’s social media laws, and the ~implications~ of a Saudi Arabian company acquiring EA and The Sims. Go off, poly sci kings! We’re not all brains, though - Heather is holding space for their somatic existence by suffering from seasonal affective disorder. They’re not like other theys! We love to hate on youtube haters, Blake shows us behind the curtain of gaming sponsorships, Heather actually knows something about GTA! But they heard it on a podcast. JetBlue lets us all down, a listener asks about the line between flirting and cheating, and everyone reeeeeally puts the depressed in Depression Meal Mondays this week.  Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices WOKE IS BACK Y’ALL and our pronouns are zoh/ran. Congratulations to NYC for inspiring a nation and having the hottest mayor and first lady we’ve ever seen. 

This week Blake and Heather are basically UN ambassadors, discussing the democrats’ many wins, China’s social media laws, and the ~implications~ of a Saudi Arabian company acquiring EA and The Sims. Go off, poly sci kings! We’re not all brains, though - Heather is holding space for their somatic existence by suffering from seasonal affective disorder. They’re not like other theys!

We love to hate on youtube haters, Blake shows us behind the curtain of gaming sponsorships, Heather actually knows something about GTA! But they heard it on a podcast. JetBlue lets us all down, a listener asks about the line between flirting and cheating, and everyone reeeeeally puts the depressed in Depression Meal Mondays this week. 

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 5289 Episode 11 - TikTok's Fear of Lana Del Rey's Boob Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 03 Nov 2025 23:14:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4950 Episode 12 - The Entitlement of the TikTok "Influencer" Welcome back and welcome home to Blake’s last minute Clearwater Home2 Suite by Hilton and Heather’s temporary LA home by a Facebook queer housing group. We’re doing great!  These days, Heather and Blake are both staying young by (checks notes) giving themselves basic care by eating and listening to music and calling friends? Not original, but Maslow would be proud. Blake is aging hard for the poor overlooked TikTok influencers of University of Miami and staying young by deep diving into the lore of Birken bags. We agree that jousting and a pillory in the town square should both make their way back into society to shame people, but let them keep their jobs. Our heroes also discuss performative intelligence, the crucial distinctions between a cookout and a barbecue and between cheugy and cringe, the superiority of a southern Thanksgiving, Peter Pan (peanut butter and little lad), and the Time Square Olive Garden’s gluten-free choices. The DMM theme song is on its way, despite a huge debate on how we would each conduct it. Our dear listeners are eating many croissants and asking about how to prioritize personal projects. May we suggest…making a podcast with your bestie? Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 03 Nov 2025 21:30:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Welcome back and welcome home to Blake’s last minute Clearwater Home2 Suite by Hilton and Heather’s temporary LA home by a Facebook queer housing group. We’re doing great!  These days, Heather and Blake are both staying young by (checks notes) giving themselves basic care by eating and listening to music and calling friends? Not original, but Maslow would be proud. Blake is aging hard for the poor overlooked TikTok influencers of University of Miami and staying young by deep diving into the lore of Birken bags. We agree that jousting and a pillory in the town square should both make their way back into society to shame people, but let them keep their jobs. Our heroes also discuss performative intelligence, the crucial distinctions between a cookout and a barbecue and between cheugy and cringe, the superiority of a southern Thanksgiving, Peter Pan (peanut butter and little lad), and the Time Square Olive Garden’s gluten-free choices. The DMM theme song is on its way, despite a huge debate on how we would each conduct it. Our dear listeners are eating many croissants and asking about how to prioritize personal projects. May we suggest…making a podcast with your bestie? Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Welcome back and welcome home to Blake’s last minute Clearwater Home2 Suite by Hilton and Heather’s temporary LA home by a Facebook queer housing group. We’re doing great! 

These days, Heather and Blake are both staying young by (checks notes) giving themselves basic care by eating and listening to music and calling friends? Not original, but Maslow would be proud. Blake is aging hard for the poor overlooked TikTok influencers of University of Miami and staying young by deep diving into the lore of Birken bags. We agree that jousting and a pillory in the town square should both make their way back into society to shame people, but let them keep their jobs. Our heroes also discuss performative intelligence, the crucial distinctions between a cookout and a barbecue and between cheugy and cringe, the superiority of a southern Thanksgiving, Peter Pan (peanut butter and little lad), and the Time Square Olive Garden’s gluten-free choices.

The DMM theme song is on its way, despite a huge debate on how we would each conduct it. Our dear listeners are eating many croissants and asking about how to prioritize personal projects. May we suggest…making a podcast with your bestie?

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 5664 Episode 10 - The "Cats" Lady's New Album Something has changed within us, and we’re feeling, dare I say…giddy? Happy to be alive? Maybe it’s the crispy fall air, but in this week’s episode, Blake and Heather giggle their way through the public backlash of Tay Tay’s Life of a Showgirl (more like Life of a Toddler in a Tiara, amirite). And how, in the famous words of Mother God Chris Fleming: Taylor Swift is the “spokesperson for those who haven’t achieved orgasm.”  Anywho, Heather’s staying young by rage baiting Swifties, Blake is living for the Young Republicans’ leaked group chat, no one understands 6 7, and we all feel 67 years old as a result, and The Hunting Wives is…good? Funny? Sexy? We’re not sure, but the wigs are VERY BAD. We also discuss the benefits of mewing, Blake’s mom’s favorite ladies on the “I’ve Had It” podcast, a surprising number of country music stars, THAT sex scene in Brokeback Mountain and how to avoid bottom allegations, Gen Alpha’s Dadaist humor, and the millennial flat tummy/low rise pants to foodie pipeline.  Speaking of eating, we have a very special opera camp guest Depression Meal submission this week, Heather continues to test the limits of their colon and dignity, and Blake will NOT get groceries, but he WILL have it his way at BK. Multiple times a week. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod! Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 20 Oct 2025 18:22:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Something has changed within us, and we’re feeling, dare I say…giddy? Happy to be alive? Maybe it’s the crispy fall air, but in this week’s episode, Blake and Heather giggle their way through the public backlash of Tay Tay’s Life of a Showgirl (more like Life of a Toddler in a Tiara, amirite). And how, in the famous words of Mother God Chris Fleming: Taylor Swift is the “spokesperson for those who haven’t achieved orgasm.”  Anywho, Heather’s staying young by rage baiting Swifties, Blake is living for the Young Republicans’ leaked group chat, no one understands 6 7, and we all feel 67 years old as a result, and The Hunting Wives is…good? Funny? Sexy? We’re not sure, but the wigs are VERY BAD. We also discuss the benefits of mewing, Blake’s mom’s favorite ladies on the “I’ve Had It” podcast, a surprising number of country music stars, THAT sex scene in Brokeback Mountain and how to avoid bottom allegations, Gen Alpha’s Dadaist humor, and the millennial flat tummy/low rise pants to foodie pipeline.  Speaking of eating, we have a very special opera camp guest Depression Meal submission this week, Heather continues to test the limits of their colon and dignity, and Blake will NOT get groceries, but he WILL have it his way at BK. Multiple times a week. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod! Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Something has changed within us, and we’re feeling, dare I say…giddy? Happy to be alive? Maybe it’s the crispy fall air, but in this week’s episode, Blake and Heather giggle their way through the public backlash of Tay Tay’s Life of a Showgirl (more like Life of a Toddler in a Tiara, amirite). And how, in the famous words of Mother God Chris Fleming: Taylor Swift is the “spokesperson for those who haven’t achieved orgasm.” 

Anywho, Heather’s staying young by rage baiting Swifties, Blake is living for the Young Republicans’ leaked group chat, no one understands 6 7, and we all feel 67 years old as a result, and The Hunting Wives is…good? Funny? Sexy? We’re not sure, but the wigs are VERY BAD. We also discuss the benefits of mewing, Blake’s mom’s favorite ladies on the “I’ve Had It” podcast, a surprising number of country music stars, THAT sex scene in Brokeback Mountain and how to avoid bottom allegations, Gen Alpha’s Dadaist humor, and the millennial flat tummy/low rise pants to foodie pipeline. 

Speaking of eating, we have a very special opera camp guest Depression Meal submission this week, Heather continues to test the limits of their colon and dignity, and Blake will NOT get groceries, but he WILL have it his way at BK. Multiple times a week. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod!

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 5448 Episode 9 - Pokemon Smash or Pass! Welcome to the very special episode EVERYONE (no one) was CLAMORING for (literally no one asked)!!! This week Blake and Heather entertain you, dear listeners, with something a little different: a Pokemon Smash or Pass. Heather doesn’t know the rules or the Pokemon or really why this game exists at all, while Blake brings years of experience and insight. They both take the game way too seriously and genuinely consider what it could be like to smash/run away with/raise a family with cartoon characters. Everyone feels young AND old. And that’s life, baybee! Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Tue, 14 Oct 2025 04:58:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Welcome to the very special episode EVERYONE (no one) was CLAMORING for (literally no one asked)!!! This week Blake and Heather entertain you, dear listeners, with something a little different: a Pokemon Smash or Pass. Heather doesn’t know the rules or the Pokemon or really why this game exists at all, while Blake brings years of experience and insight. They both take the game way too seriously and genuinely consider what it could be like to smash/run away with/raise a family with cartoon characters. Everyone feels young AND old. And that’s life, baybee! Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Welcome to the very special episode EVERYONE (no one) was CLAMORING for (literally no one asked)!!! This week Blake and Heather entertain you, dear listeners, with something a little different: a Pokemon Smash or Pass. Heather doesn’t know the rules or the Pokemon or really why this game exists at all, while Blake brings years of experience and insight. They both take the game way too seriously and genuinely consider what it could be like to smash/run away with/raise a family with cartoon characters. Everyone feels young AND old. And that’s life, baybee!

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4825 Episode 8 - World of Warcraft's World of War Crimes Buckle up for a lengthy and academic discussion of the least important topics you can think of this week! As if that’s not the vibe every week! Blake and Heather are staying young with Ultimatum: Queer Love, Season 2 and Asmongold’s influence over the World of Warcraft community. Take one guess as to whose is whose! Love Island, The Bachelor, Temptation Island, and Love is Blind are all rotting our brains in the most entertaining ways, Neopets chat rooms were the site of a LOT of age inappropriate content, the WoW South Park episode is a cinematic marvel, Boy Moms make us queasy, the King of Queens couple is a thirst trap specifically for Blake and Heather, and Friends maybe was only funny if you just watched white sitcoms? The Depression Meals this week expose Blake’s OCD (again), Heather makes bad choices about their food sensitivities (again), and the two continue to workshop a DMM jingle harmony. Maybe we’ll nail it by episode 100! One of you beautiful people is only eating 8 Cheez-Its for a whole meal, and we absolutely can’t judge, but we do anyway.  Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 06 Oct 2025 19:30:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Buckle up for a lengthy and academic discussion of the least important topics you can think of this week! As if that’s not the vibe every week! Blake and Heather are staying young with Ultimatum: Queer Love, Season 2 and Asmongold’s influence over the World of Warcraft community. Take one guess as to whose is whose! Love Island, The Bachelor, Temptation Island, and Love is Blind are all rotting our brains in the most entertaining ways, Neopets chat rooms were the site of a LOT of age inappropriate content, the WoW South Park episode is a cinematic marvel, Boy Moms make us queasy, the King of Queens couple is a thirst trap specifically for Blake and Heather, and Friends maybe was only funny if you just watched white sitcoms? The Depression Meals this week expose Blake’s OCD (again), Heather makes bad choices about their food sensitivities (again), and the two continue to workshop a DMM jingle harmony. Maybe we’ll nail it by episode 100! One of you beautiful people is only eating 8 Cheez-Its for a whole meal, and we absolutely can’t judge, but we do anyway.  Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Buckle up for a lengthy and academic discussion of the least important topics you can think of this week! As if that’s not the vibe every week! Blake and Heather are staying young with Ultimatum: Queer Love, Season 2 and Asmongold’s influence over the World of Warcraft community. Take one guess as to whose is whose!

Love Island, The Bachelor, Temptation Island, and Love is Blind are all rotting our brains in the most entertaining ways, Neopets chat rooms were the site of a LOT of age inappropriate content, the WoW South Park episode is a cinematic marvel, Boy Moms make us queasy, the King of Queens couple is a thirst trap specifically for Blake and Heather, and Friends maybe was only funny if you just watched white sitcoms?

The Depression Meals this week expose Blake’s OCD (again), Heather makes bad choices about their food sensitivities (again), and the two continue to workshop a DMM jingle harmony. Maybe we’ll nail it by episode 100! One of you beautiful people is only eating 8 Cheez-Its for a whole meal, and we absolutely can’t judge, but we do anyway. 

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4836 Episode 7 - WHO'S THAT POKÉMON? IT'S FASCISM!!! Well, it’s been a week. And Blake and Heather are officially bi for each other. Bi-coastal, baby!! Viewers will get to see Blake’s NYC and TX bedroom backgrounds in this ep and listeners will not notice a difference at all! Blake is staying young in the aftermath of the Ch*rlie K*rk/Tr*mp/Jimmy Kimmel/Disney will-they-won’t-they chess game. It really does go all the way to the top. And Heather is literally aging so much they’re watching boomer reality TV now. And LOVING IT. Will Pokémon save us from a civil war? Please??? We stave off The Dread by gabbing about Mormon Wives (again), Glee (again), America’s MAGA Sweethearts aka Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, Anna Delvey and those poor bunnies, and that time a bunch of celebrities cured COVID by singing Imagine in lots of different keys.  We are not doctors and therefore cannot speak on the health risks of Blake’s hot tub depression meal. Please do not attempt. He is a trained professional. Heather tried to find god in a grocery store hot bar, but only found gas. Shoutout to Ravyn for the …inspirational? DMM submission.  Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 29 Sep 2025 19:30:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Well, it’s been a week. And Blake and Heather are officially bi for each other. Bi-coastal, baby!! Viewers will get to see Blake’s NYC and TX bedroom backgrounds in this ep and listeners will not notice a difference at all! Blake is staying young in the aftermath of the Ch*rlie K*rk/Tr*mp/Jimmy Kimmel/Disney will-they-won’t-they chess game. It really does go all the way to the top. And Heather is literally aging so much they’re watching boomer reality TV now. And LOVING IT. Will Pokémon save us from a civil war? Please??? We stave off The Dread by gabbing about Mormon Wives (again), Glee (again), America’s MAGA Sweethearts aka Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, Anna Delvey and those poor bunnies, and that time a bunch of celebrities cured COVID by singing Imagine in lots of different keys.  We are not doctors and therefore cannot speak on the health risks of Blake’s hot tub depression meal. Please do not attempt. He is a trained professional. Heather tried to find god in a grocery store hot bar, but only found gas. Shoutout to Ravyn for the …inspirational? DMM submission.  Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Well, it’s been a week. And Blake and Heather are officially bi for each other. Bi-coastal, baby!! Viewers will get to see Blake’s NYC and TX bedroom backgrounds in this ep and listeners will not notice a difference at all!

Blake is staying young in the aftermath of the Ch*rlie K*rk/Tr*mp/Jimmy Kimmel/Disney will-they-won’t-they chess game. It really does go all the way to the top. And Heather is literally aging so much they’re watching boomer reality TV now. And LOVING IT. Will Pokémon save us from a civil war? Please???

We stave off The Dread by gabbing about Mormon Wives (again), Glee (again), America’s MAGA Sweethearts aka Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, Anna Delvey and those poor bunnies, and that time a bunch of celebrities cured COVID by singing Imagine in lots of different keys. 

We are not doctors and therefore cannot speak on the health risks of Blake’s hot tub depression meal. Please do not attempt. He is a trained professional. Heather tried to find god in a grocery store hot bar, but only found gas. Shoutout to Ravyn for the …inspirational? DMM submission. 

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4277 Episode 6 - Our Right Wing Grift Begins CW: eating disorders, barfing Happy solstice, old! Like and subscribe for our foolproof, 5-step program to become a right wing grifter! Side effects may include botched plastic surgery and disintegration of all dignity. This week, Blake is staying young with Schadenfreude following the Trump and Elon break up, but the politics of girlhood are both aging and impressing him. Heather felt very old and confused and homophobic visiting Fire Island and not finding a public bathroom, but absolutely loved discovering neurodivergent accessibility haircut TikTok. A weighted cape? Fashion AND function! The two spend way too much time talking about barfing, when it’s a great option and when it isn’t, the implications of depicting barfing in a video, and Blake’s accidentally operatic barf sounds. Volume way down! Blake is grateful for YouTube stardom because he finally won the SEO against a priest with his same name. Heather misses stumbleupon.com, but it’s okay because they can (and do!) cry into the 2:28 min YouTube super cut of “It Justifies the Beans.”  The Depression Meal Mondays jingle as a duet just might work, Taco Bell must have really high profit margins, Blake still loves cheese and bread, and Heather had a perfectly normal depression meal that got VERY WEIRD thanks to homestay hosts. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 22 Sep 2025 19:20:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones CW: eating disorders, barfing Happy solstice, old! Like and subscribe for our foolproof, 5-step program to become a right wing grifter! Side effects may include botched plastic surgery and disintegration of all dignity. This week, Blake is staying young with Schadenfreude following the Trump and Elon break up, but the politics of girlhood are both aging and impressing him. Heather felt very old and confused and homophobic visiting Fire Island and not finding a public bathroom, but absolutely loved discovering neurodivergent accessibility haircut TikTok. A weighted cape? Fashion AND function! The two spend way too much time talking about barfing, when it’s a great option and when it isn’t, the implications of depicting barfing in a video, and Blake’s accidentally operatic barf sounds. Volume way down! Blake is grateful for YouTube stardom because he finally won the SEO against a priest with his same name. Heather misses stumbleupon.com, but it’s okay because they can (and do!) cry into the 2:28 min YouTube super cut of “It Justifies the Beans.”  The Depression Meal Mondays jingle as a duet just might work, Taco Bell must have really high profit margins, Blake still loves cheese and bread, and Heather had a perfectly normal depression meal that got VERY WEIRD thanks to homestay hosts. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices CW: eating disorders, barfing

Happy solstice, old! Like and subscribe for our foolproof, 5-step program to become a right wing grifter! Side effects may include botched plastic surgery and disintegration of all dignity.

This week, Blake is staying young with Schadenfreude following the Trump and Elon break up, but the politics of girlhood are both aging and impressing him. Heather felt very old and confused and homophobic visiting Fire Island and not finding a public bathroom, but absolutely loved discovering neurodivergent accessibility haircut TikTok. A weighted cape? Fashion AND function!

The two spend way too much time talking about barfing, when it’s a great option and when it isn’t, the implications of depicting barfing in a video, and Blake’s accidentally operatic barf sounds. Volume way down! Blake is grateful for YouTube stardom because he finally won the SEO against a priest with his same name. Heather misses stumbleupon.com, but it’s okay because they can (and do!) cry into the 2:28 min YouTube super cut of “It Justifies the Beans.” 

The Depression Meal Mondays jingle as a duet just might work, Taco Bell must have really high profit margins, Blake still loves cheese and bread, and Heather had a perfectly normal depression meal that got VERY WEIRD thanks to homestay hosts.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4036 Episode 5 - The Children are Microdosing Gambling Addictions Welcome back to the Labu Box! No scorpions here, just Blake being an edge lord and defending billionaires (again), Heather talking about their broken body and hot specialist doctors (again) and both hosts reliving their opera camp glory days like your dad talking about his favorite super bowl from 12 years ago. This week, Tiny Chef is keeping Blake young and keeping all of us crying tender tears for a ball of wool. A newly discovered artifact is keeping Heather young and driving stick shift is literally causing their body to disintegrate. Blake is aged and everyone is rage baited by Labubus but the silver lining was finding out Glenn Close was in the 1992 cinematic masterpiece Hook, in the best pirate drag you’ve ever seen. Our hosts also do a deep dive of Human Shrek (Blake wishes), Little Gay Boy 45, Bronies, pro-natalist tech bio hackers, uber eats-ing fast food, and whether lying is worth it. Depressiion meals this week featured frozen cookie dough, sardines, and Blake’s order of operations for eating Lunchables sandwiches. Neurodivergent or genius or both? You decide. Submit your own depression meal to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com for a chance to hear it read (and judged) on air! Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 15 Sep 2025 19:53:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Welcome back to the Labu Box! No scorpions here, just Blake being an edge lord and defending billionaires (again), Heather talking about their broken body and hot specialist doctors (again) and both hosts reliving their opera camp glory days like your dad talking about his favorite super bowl from 12 years ago. This week, Tiny Chef is keeping Blake young and keeping all of us crying tender tears for a ball of wool. A newly discovered artifact is keeping Heather young and driving stick shift is literally causing their body to disintegrate. Blake is aged and everyone is rage baited by Labubus but the silver lining was finding out Glenn Close was in the 1992 cinematic masterpiece Hook, in the best pirate drag you’ve ever seen. Our hosts also do a deep dive of Human Shrek (Blake wishes), Little Gay Boy 45, Bronies, pro-natalist tech bio hackers, uber eats-ing fast food, and whether lying is worth it. Depressiion meals this week featured frozen cookie dough, sardines, and Blake’s order of operations for eating Lunchables sandwiches. Neurodivergent or genius or both? You decide. Submit your own depression meal to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com for a chance to hear it read (and judged) on air! Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Welcome back to the Labu Box! No scorpions here, just Blake being an edge lord and defending billionaires (again), Heather talking about their broken body and hot specialist doctors (again) and both hosts reliving their opera camp glory days like your dad talking about his favorite super bowl from 12 years ago.


This week, Tiny Chef is keeping Blake young and keeping all of us crying tender tears for a ball of wool. A newly discovered artifact is keeping Heather young and driving stick shift is literally causing their body to disintegrate. Blake is aged and everyone is rage baited by Labubus but the silver lining was finding out Glenn Close was in the 1992 cinematic masterpiece Hook, in the best pirate drag you’ve ever seen. Our hosts also do a deep dive of Human Shrek (Blake wishes), Little Gay Boy 45, Bronies, pro-natalist tech bio hackers, uber eats-ing fast food, and whether lying is worth it.


Depressiion meals this week featured frozen cookie dough, sardines, and Blake’s order of operations for eating Lunchables sandwiches. Neurodivergent or genius or both? You decide. Submit your own depression meal to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com for a chance to hear it read (and judged) on air!


Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4312 Episode 4 - If Everyone Clenched, No One Could Poop Everybody UNCLENCH because we’re back to our regularly scheduled…schedule of Monday episode drops. Welcome back! We missed you! Did you miss us? Say it back! 😡🔪 This week some Jackbox merch is keeping Blake young somehow, Heather is escaping NYC to find the fountain of youth, and Blake dissects the politics of Nintendo Switch 2 and pizza delivery. They also discuss tamagotchi sex positions, Meredith Wilson’s The Music Man, pros and cons of engaging with idiots online, the ultimate way to genetically live forever aka having babies, and the Bobby Hill method of catcall defense. They also bravely debate Hot Button Issues. Listen without context and vote for who you’d cancel first! ;) Depression Meal Monday has deep semantic implications and this week we collectively ask the universe: If no depressed, still depression meal? And. If meal sad, ergo I sad too? Stay turned for our, let’s say *minimalist* DMM listener submission! Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_
 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 08 Sep 2025 19:40:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Everybody UNCLENCH because we’re back to our regularly scheduled…schedule of Monday episode drops. Welcome back! We missed you! Did you miss us? Say it back! 😡🔪 This week some Jackbox merch is keeping Blake young somehow, Heather is escaping NYC to find the fountain of youth, and Blake dissects the politics of Nintendo Switch 2 and pizza delivery. They also discuss tamagotchi sex positions, Meredith Wilson’s The Music Man, pros and cons of engaging with idiots online, the ultimate way to genetically live forever aka having babies, and the Bobby Hill method of catcall defense. They also bravely debate Hot Button Issues. Listen without context and vote for who you’d cancel first! ;) Depression Meal Monday has deep semantic implications and this week we collectively ask the universe: If no depressed, still depression meal? And. If meal sad, ergo I sad too? Stay turned for our, let’s say *minimalist* DMM listener submission! Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_
 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Everybody UNCLENCH because we’re back to our regularly scheduled…schedule of Monday episode drops. Welcome back! We missed you! Did you miss us? Say it back! 😡🔪


This week some Jackbox merch is keeping Blake young somehow, Heather is escaping NYC to find the fountain of youth, and Blake dissects the politics of Nintendo Switch 2 and pizza delivery. They also discuss tamagotchi sex positions, Meredith Wilson’s The Music Man, pros and cons of engaging with idiots online, the ultimate way to genetically live forever aka having babies, and the Bobby Hill method of catcall defense. They also bravely debate Hot Button Issues. Listen without context and vote for who you’d cancel first! ;)


Depression Meal Monday has deep semantic implications and this week we collectively ask the universe: If no depressed, still depression meal? And. If meal sad, ergo I sad too? Stay turned for our, let’s say *minimalist* DMM listener submission!


Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 5047 Episode 3 - Benson Please Stop Booning Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of our choices to start a podcast without perfecting the technology first! See if you can hear how many hours Blake and Heather spent trying to remove the hum in Heather’s mic in this episode :) This week, Heather’s gyno visit is keeping them young and mediocre Crumbl cookies are aging all of us. Blake and Heather discuss gen-Z gamer lighting design, objects that look like vaginas, the allure of the WNBA, how nice it must be to be delusional (can’t relate), making a passion into a job and then regretting it, TikTokers who had sneaky COVID parties and thought we wouldn’t notice, straight dudes with “Anger Issues,” and the diva himself, Benson Boone. Blake makes predictions about Zara Larson’s Midnight Sun as the song of the summer even though we know it’s gonna be our (currently unreleased) theme song, Old. Depression Meal Monday this week has a special guest: Heather’s unhinged caffeine withdrawal symptoms! CW: puke. As in they’ve puked in many public places in several cities across Jeff Bezos’s United States. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 25 Aug 2025 17:55:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of our choices to start a podcast without perfecting the technology first! See if you can hear how many hours Blake and Heather spent trying to remove the hum in Heather’s mic in this episode :) This week, Heather’s gyno visit is keeping them young and mediocre Crumbl cookies are aging all of us. Blake and Heather discuss gen-Z gamer lighting design, objects that look like vaginas, the allure of the WNBA, how nice it must be to be delusional (can’t relate), making a passion into a job and then regretting it, TikTokers who had sneaky COVID parties and thought we wouldn’t notice, straight dudes with “Anger Issues,” and the diva himself, Benson Boone. Blake makes predictions about Zara Larson’s Midnight Sun as the song of the summer even though we know it’s gonna be our (currently unreleased) theme song, Old. Depression Meal Monday this week has a special guest: Heather’s unhinged caffeine withdrawal symptoms! CW: puke. As in they’ve puked in many public places in several cities across Jeff Bezos’s United States. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of our choices to start a podcast without perfecting the technology first! See if you can hear how many hours Blake and Heather spent trying to remove the hum in Heather’s mic in this episode :) This week, Heather’s gyno visit is keeping them young and mediocre Crumbl cookies are aging all of us. Blake and Heather discuss gen-Z gamer lighting design, objects that look like vaginas, the allure of the WNBA, how nice it must be to be delusional (can’t relate), making a passion into a job and then regretting it, TikTokers who had sneaky COVID parties and thought we wouldn’t notice, straight dudes with “Anger Issues,” and the diva himself, Benson Boone. Blake makes predictions about Zara Larson’s Midnight Sun as the song of the summer even though we know it’s gonna be our (currently unreleased) theme song, Old.

Depression Meal Monday this week has a special guest: Heather’s unhinged caffeine withdrawal symptoms! CW: puke. As in they’ve puked in many public places in several cities across Jeff Bezos’s United States.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4914 Episode 2 - Blake's Cow D*ck THIS JUST IN: Blake doesn’t care what pronouns you use, as long as you’re talking about him/her/them. Love wins. This week Blake and Heather get into the usual what’s keeping us young and what’s aging them (spoiler: Blake has OPINIONS about lapel mics that aren’t on a lapel) plus botox, how many pills it takes to function in your 30s, the hotties of Ultimatum: Queer Love, Date Everything aka the only relationships Blake will ever go public about, Facebook Marketplace, the sweet relief of ADD medication, the biological requirements of being a YouTuber, and yes. What you all came here to see. Blake’s vitiligo genitalia, more commonly known as Cow D*ck. Heather saw it! Consensually! Depression Meal Mondays are back and better than ever with listener submissions! Share your best/worst with us on ig: keepmeyoungpod or gmail: keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com and maybe we’ll shout out your cuisine choices you on air! Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 25 Aug 2025 14:01:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones THIS JUST IN: Blake doesn’t care what pronouns you use, as long as you’re talking about him/her/them. Love wins. This week Blake and Heather get into the usual what’s keeping us young and what’s aging them (spoiler: Blake has OPINIONS about lapel mics that aren’t on a lapel) plus botox, how many pills it takes to function in your 30s, the hotties of Ultimatum: Queer Love, Date Everything aka the only relationships Blake will ever go public about, Facebook Marketplace, the sweet relief of ADD medication, the biological requirements of being a YouTuber, and yes. What you all came here to see. Blake’s vitiligo genitalia, more commonly known as Cow D*ck. Heather saw it! Consensually! Depression Meal Mondays are back and better than ever with listener submissions! Share your best/worst with us on ig: keepmeyoungpod or gmail: keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com and maybe we’ll shout out your cuisine choices you on air! Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices THIS JUST IN: Blake doesn’t care what pronouns you use, as long as you’re talking about him/her/them. Love wins.

This week Blake and Heather get into the usual what’s keeping us young and what’s aging them (spoiler: Blake has OPINIONS about lapel mics that aren’t on a lapel) plus botox, how many pills it takes to function in your 30s, the hotties of Ultimatum: Queer Love, Date Everything aka the only relationships Blake will ever go public about, Facebook Marketplace, the sweet relief of ADD medication, the biological requirements of being a YouTuber, and yes. What you all came here to see. Blake’s vitiligo genitalia, more commonly known as Cow D*ck. Heather saw it! Consensually!


Depression Meal Mondays are back and better than ever with listener submissions! Share your best/worst with us on ig: keepmeyoungpod or gmail: keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com and maybe we’ll shout out your cuisine choices you on air!


Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick.

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

]]> 4266 Episode 1 - The Opera Camp that Trauma Bonded Us HEY Y’ALL and welcome to the very first episode of Keep Me Young, a podcast for anyone who has ever pretended to know about a meme/celebrity/band/video game console twitter fiasco in order to keep a conversation moving and seem like a Cool Girl™️. In this episode, Blake and Heather revisit the fateful summer of 2015 when they first met at opera camp. Famously, Blake almost died swimming across a lake but Heather hung off a canoe to save him, Titanic style. They do a deep dive (pun absolutely intended) into the world of young artist programs aka adult summer camps, and how being an opera singer is a perfect career path if you fantasize about a fin dom who tells you exactly what to do with your body/voice/one wild and precious life. Today’s topics also include our weekly segments of what’s keeping us young and what’s aging us, along with how there aren’t any good slurs left because milennials ruined them, Glee, attachment styles, coming out later in life, growing up in the South, Meredith Wilson’s The Music Man, and Kelly Clarkson’s covers that have no business being that good. Great news for OG Jake Blennings fans is that Depression Meal Mondays is BACK, baybee, and each week we’ll share our own depresh meals plus listener submissions! Share your best/worst on ig: @keeppmeyoungpod or gmail: keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Mon, 25 Aug 2025 13:00:00 -0000 full Blake Jennings & Heather Jones HEY Y’ALL and welcome to the very first episode of Keep Me Young, a podcast for anyone who has ever pretended to know about a meme/celebrity/band/video game console twitter fiasco in order to keep a conversation moving and seem like a Cool Girl™️. In this episode, Blake and Heather revisit the fateful summer of 2015 when they first met at opera camp. Famously, Blake almost died swimming across a lake but Heather hung off a canoe to save him, Titanic style. They do a deep dive (pun absolutely intended) into the world of young artist programs aka adult summer camps, and how being an opera singer is a perfect career path if you fantasize about a fin dom who tells you exactly what to do with your body/voice/one wild and precious life. Today’s topics also include our weekly segments of what’s keeping us young and what’s aging us, along with how there aren’t any good slurs left because milennials ruined them, Glee, attachment styles, coming out later in life, growing up in the South, Meredith Wilson’s The Music Man, and Kelly Clarkson’s covers that have no business being that good. Great news for OG Jake Blennings fans is that Depression Meal Mondays is BACK, baybee, and each week we’ll share our own depresh meals plus listener submissions! Share your best/worst on ig: @keeppmeyoungpod or gmail: keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices HEY Y’ALL and welcome to the very first episode of Keep Me Young, a podcast for anyone who has ever pretended to know about a meme/celebrity/band/video game console twitter fiasco in order to keep a conversation moving and seem like a Cool Girl™️.


In this episode, Blake and Heather revisit the fateful summer of 2015 when they first met at opera camp. Famously, Blake almost died swimming across a lake but Heather hung off a canoe to save him, Titanic style. They do a deep dive (pun absolutely intended) into the world of young artist programs aka adult summer camps, and how being an opera singer is a perfect career path if you fantasize about a fin dom who tells you exactly what to do with your body/voice/one wild and precious life.


Today’s topics also include our weekly segments of what’s keeping us young and what’s aging us, along with how there aren’t any good slurs left because milennials ruined them, Glee, attachment styles, coming out later in life, growing up in the South, Meredith Wilson’s The Music Man, and Kelly Clarkson’s covers that have no business being that good.


Great news for OG Jake Blennings fans is that Depression Meal Mondays is BACK, baybee, and each week we’ll share our own depresh meals plus listener submissions! Share your best/worst on ig: @keeppmeyoungpod or gmail: keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com


Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick.

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

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