If this is your first episode in the series, here’s the quick setup: Part 1 confronts drifting. Part 2 builds structure and daily discipline. Part 3 goes deeper into the part most men avoid, the private battle.

This episode focuses on what keeps men stuck: isolation, shame, secrets, and the habit of pretending everything is fine. It challenges the idea that strength means silence, and it pushes toward honesty, brotherhood, and accountability, because healing does not happen in hiding.

What is still being carried in secret that is quietly shaping decisions, relationships, and spiritual life?

If you’re jumping in here without hearing Part 1, here’s the foundation: this series is about building a life that’s anchored in God first, strengthened by brotherhood, and protected by clear standards, accountability, and daily obedience. It’s not about hype. It’s about building a life that holds up when pressure hits.

In Part 2, we move from the big idea into the daily reality: what you do with your mornings. Because most men aren’t losing their family or their future in one dramatic moment. It’s usually the slow drift, the unaddressed patterns, and the lack of direction when nobody is watching.

Tom breaks down why the morning matters spiritually, mentally, and practically, and how a “winning the morning” mindset creates traction for every other area of life. We talk about getting honest with your time, your habits, and what you’re feeding your mind before the day even starts.

If you feel behind, distracted, or constantly playing catch-up, this episode is a reset.

Tom anchors this episode in Ecclesiastes 12:13 and calls men to step out of denial, draw a line, and build a life that’s grounded in obedience, integrity, and clear non-negotiables. If you want peace and purpose, this is where it starts.

What standard is leading your life right now, and what needs to change this week?

Tom reframes soul winning as more than a church phrase. It’s the mission that pulls your priorities into alignment and brings clarity to Monday through Saturday life. When a man stops drifting and starts living for the Kingdom, joy shows up in places the world can’t touch.

If you had to define success right now, would it include making it to heaven and taking somebody with you?

But this conversation is not just about the diagnosis. It’s about what God does in the waiting. Kayla and Jonathan share what it has looked like to fight discouragement, choose gratitude, and keep showing up with faith while they pursue a treatment that is costly, uncertain, and bigger than them. They also talk about the unexpected miracle of community, how people have stepped in with generosity and encouragement, and how Marley’s tender faith has opened doors to reach humanity far beyond their own circle. 

If you’re carrying a long battle, raising a child with special needs, or learning how to trust God when you don’t get quick answers, this episode will put language to what you’re feeling and remind you: you’re not alone. 

Tom talks about brotherhood as a spiritual strategy, not a trend: men connected to Jesus and connected to other men who will ask real questions, tell the truth, and help you get back up when you slip. This episode is a call to step out of drifting, stop hiding, and build a life marked by integrity, discipline, and purpose.

If you feel stuck, numb, or like you’re surviving instead of thriving, this is your reminder: you don’t need a new personality. You need a brotherhood and a plan.

To learn more about Built Men, email Tom at tom@tom-lyman.com

Fear, doubt, negative thinking, isolation, and old habits all start here. Tom breaks down the difference between fearing the future and fearing God (reverence), then challenges men to stop trying to fight alone. Healing and strength are built in connection: with Jesus, with Scripture, and with brothers who will tell the truth.

This episode is a call to action: get in the Word, get in community, and get serious about winning the thoughts that shape your choices. Because when a man wins his mind, he wins his life.

Want to join Built Men? Email Tom: tom@tom-lyman.com

Tom talks through why discipline is not about perfection, it’s about direction. Winning the morning means getting quiet, starting with God, and building simple non-negotiables that protect your spirit, your home, and your integrity. The goal is not hype. The goal is alignment.

If you’re tired of drifting, tired of the squirrel cage, and ready to build something that lasts, this episode is for you. What would change if you won the morning before it won you?

Tom challenges you with two core questions: What is your purpose and what is your definition of success. He confronts the “squirrel cage” cycle of work, exhaustion, and screen time, and calls men out of isolation and into connection, because iron sharpens iron.

This episode draws a hard line: when a man lacks purpose, he fills his spare time with comfort and pleasure, and the cost is always higher than it looks. Tom brings it back to Scripture, calling men to seek God first, align their priorities, and fight for their homes, integrity, and eternal impact.

If you’re ready to stop surviving and start building, this series is for you.

To learn more about Built Men, reach out: tom@tom-lyman.com

Pastor Hargrove shares the story of his radical deliverance and the moment that redirected his life into evangelism and discipleship. Together, they talk about quiet time, spiritual clarity, the difference between conviction and condemnation, and why the local church needs real recovery pathways that actually catch humanity, not just inspire them.

If you’ve felt stuck, unqualified, or tired of cycles repeating, this episode is a call to get honest, get close to Jesus, and say yes to the next step.

Tom and Carter talk candidly about faith, discipline, and the decisions that shape your future, including boundaries with phones and social media, the value of early mornings, and how to stand your ground when peer pressure shows up. Carter also shares what’s helped him stay grounded, from Bible quizzing to music, and why learning from mentors matters.

The conversation turns personal as Tom reflects on his past addiction and what healing has looked like inside their home, and Carter explains why honesty and testimony can become a turning point for other families. What could change in your home with one honest conversation?

They talk about why so many prodigals don’t stay, what the church can do after the altar call, and why real discipleship looks like dinner tables, coffee, and consistent connection, not just a Sunday service. Tiffany also opens up about losing what once felt like her identity, and how God used the breaking to rebuild purpose and clarity.

If you’ve been trying to return but feel unqualified, exposed, or stuck in your head, this episode is a reminder that conviction isn’t condemnation, and God still gives new strength to the ones who wait on Him. What if the thing you’re ashamed of is the very doorway God wants to use to bring you back and send you forward?

Tristan’s work is shaped by his own story and by years of study around PTSD, anxiety, and how the brain responds to stress. In this episode, he breaks down a practical framework for navigating overwhelm: recognizing the difference between perception and reality, pausing instead of reacting, and taking control over what you can control.

Tom and Tristan also discuss the pressure to “wear a mask,” the impact of screen time and instant gratification on the mind, and the power of steady habits like exercise, journaling, and Scripture. They touch on shame vs. conviction, accountability, and why real healing requires honesty.

If you’ve been carrying stress quietly, living in your head, or wondering what “getting better” actually looks like, this conversation is for you.

Guest: Tristan Helm
Website: helmastery.com

Tom and Ryan talk about what it means to stay grounded when career, geography, and responsibilities all shift at once. Ryan tells the story of moving across the country after his wife sensed clear direction from God, and how obedience required letting go of a dream home that had quietly become part of their identity.

They also dig into practical rhythms that protect what matters most, including intentional family time, bedtime routines, putting the phone down, and building margin to get quiet and actually listen for God’s direction. What would change if you stopped living for Friday and took one step of obedience at a time?

Dr. Lana explains how God uses all five temperaments in the body of Christ, and why the kingdom needs evangelists, disciplers, builders, detail-keepers, and servants. Then they bring it home to the places it matters most: marriage, parenting, and relationships. They talk candidly about meeting needs without resentment, reducing conflict through understanding, and why many struggles aren’t “character flaws” but temperament differences that have been misunderstood.

If you want clarity for your calling and healthier relationships, this episode will give you language and direction. What changes when you stop comparing and start stewarding the wiring God gave you?

Dr. Lana breaks down how unmet temperament needs create internal stress, and how understanding God’s design can bring clarity, balance, and peace. They also explore the deeper “heart hunger” that drives humanity to chase things that never satisfy, and why true fulfillment is found when we are aligned with God’s purpose. Lana anchors the foundation of temperament therapy in Matthew 11:28–30, explaining the “well-fitting yoke” and how the right placement brings rest to the soul.

If you’re tired, stressed, or stuck, this episode offers a framework for clarity and a path back to peace.

What might change if your life finally matched the way God designed you to carry it?

In Episode 26, Tom sits down in the studio with his wife, Dr. Lana Lyman, for Part 1 of a special three-part series.

Dr. Lana is a licensed clinical pastoral counselor with more than two decades of ministry experience, helping individuals, couples, and families navigate betrayal trauma, addiction, relationships, and healing. This episode lays the foundation for her ministry and introduces one of the core tools she uses with nearly every client: temperament therapy. Together, Tom and Lana unpack what temperament is, why it matters, why it’s morally neutral, and how God designs humanity with intention. They also clarify the difference between temperament, character, and personality, and why living out of alignment with how God made you often produces stress, conflict, and internal frustration.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re wearing a mask, struggling to understand yourself, or striving to become someone you were never designed to be, this conversation will bring clarity and encouragement. What would change if you stopped fighting your design and learned to steward it?

From parenting moments to the challenge of communicating clearly, this episode leans into practical faith: asking better questions, staying connected instead of isolated, and choosing the next right thing when life gets messy. Vince also shares his personal background and the “why” behind Endtime’s mission: using current events as a net to pull humanity closer to Jesus, discipleship, and truth that brings peace instead of panic.

If you’ve felt the tension between work, ministry, marriage, and raising kids in a distracted world, this conversation will encourage you to lead with consistency, speak expectations instead of storing resentment, and prioritize what matters most.

What would change in your home if you lowered the screens and raised the level of real conversation?

Randy reframes addiction as “anything we repeat that has negative consequences” and explains how many addictive patterns function as an attempt to push away unwanted thoughts, feelings, and memories. From Lifeline Connect, a men’s residential recovery program, to Navigate Ministries, Randy walks through a Christ-centered approach that combines spiritual transformation with structured self-discovery, helping individuals identify root wounds and bring Jesus directly to the places that need healing.

The conversation lands on a clear message: the issue is rarely just behavior, it’s the heart. And healing often accelerates when isolation breaks, honest conversation begins, and the right guidance helps “direct” the healing God has already made available.

Where are you now, where do you want to go, and what would happen if you stopped trying to fix it alone?

Trevor opens up about a difficult childhood shaped by poverty, addiction in the home, and destructive influences, including a felony at 13 that could have set his life on a permanent trajectory. Instead, a pivotal court decision forced an environment change that became the first step toward transformation. From the auto industry to financial services, Trevor describes the identity shifts, setbacks, and lessons that taught him why mindset matters before strategy, and how one relationship can become the bridge to a comeback.

The episode lands on practical faith: replacing “lack” with gratitude, building margin, refusing the snooze button, and creating brotherhood for men who are tired of isolation and ready to grow as leaders, husbands, fathers, and servants of God.

What would change in your life if you stopped focusing on what you don’t have and brought God what you do have today?

They dig into what it means to feel unqualified, how God multiplies what we surrender, and why purpose is the antidote to drifting into comfort and distraction. Mark introduces the “power of the nudge,” those small promptings from God that, when obeyed, can open doors to endless possibilities in worship, ministry, relationships, and daily life.

This conversation is a reminder that worship is more than music; it’s humility, obedience, and serving humanity in real moments, even when it’s inconvenient.

What “nudge” has God been putting in front of you that you keep talking yourself out of?

They unpack what grief really looks like over time, including anger at God, triggers around holidays, and the reality that loss doesn’t vanish. Amber talks about her own health journey, losing her grandparents, and how lived experience can deepen empathy without turning pain into performance. The conversation also tackles practical steps for getting help, even when you don’t have money, and how to find safe people by testing trust with small things first.

If you’re carrying grief, anxiety, or a season of heaviness, this episode offers permission to reach out, slow down, and let someone sit with you in the dark without rushing the process.

Who is one safe person you can take a first step toward today?

The conversation hits the tension every purpose-driven leader faces: serving humanity takes resources. They discuss redefining success, valuing your work, asking for help, and why investing in coaching, systems, and clarity is often the difference between “stuck” and “momentum.” Brittney and Ryan share their own leap, how alignment and faith shaped their business, and why they’re passionate about helping entrepreneurs win with integrity.

The episode closes with practical encouragement: get quiet, write down what you want your life to look like, tell the truth about where your time and money are going, and find mentors who have already walked the road you’re trying to travel. What would change if you stopped treating your calling like a side hobby and started building it like a mission?

They talk about Hope Beyond Betrayal, the two-day marriage intensive they host for couples walking through betrayal trauma. Lana explains it is not a quick fix, but a starting point that gives practical tools, follow-up direction, and most importantly hope, including the reminder that you are not alone and that a marriage can be rebuilt stronger than before.

The episode closes with Lana describing what brings her the deepest joy: watching the moment a person’s eyes open to truth, identity, and healing, whether in counseling, a support group, or a marriage rebuilding conversation.

What would it look like for you to take one honest step toward help, instead of carrying it alone?

Jerry shares the turning point that changed everything, a moment in a bar where he says Jesus visibly appeared and spoke, “It’s your time.” From there, the conversation moves into his upbringing, his mother’s relentless prayer, a broken home that God ultimately healed, and how that redemption story became a foundation for ministry. Jerry describes his “why” as the joy of watching the lights come on in someone’s life: broken humanity trying to numb pain, then discovering purpose, freedom, and a real relationship with Christ.

As the conversation closes, Jerry makes it plain: doctrine matters, but what saved him first was relationship, an awareness of God that turns into a life rebuilt from the inside out.

What would change in your life if your next step was not just information, but a real encounter with Jesus?

Tom opens up about the identity shift from a 30-year construction career into a calling, and why “success” can still feel empty when it is built on ego, comfort, or someone else’s definition. Micah breaks down why clarity is not found in more ideas, better marketing, or louder branding, but in alignment: identity first, then strategy. Together they explore how coaching, accountability, and the courage to face blind spots can move a man from surviving to thriving, especially in recovery and leadership.

If you were forced to define success today, what would it look like in your faith, your home, and your daily choices?

They unpack “offense and defense” in finances, why most people never build a true plan, and how small habits (the coffee, the Amazon boxes, the “only $20” purchases) quietly shape outcomes over time. Tom gets personal about seasons when money amplified insecurity and pride, and why peace, consistency, and presence at home matter more than appearances. Together they challenge listeners to move beyond shame, stop reacting, and start building structure that protects your family without strangling your growth.

If you feel buried in debt, fear, or regret, what is one honest first step you can take today to move from setback to strategy?

Tom and Pastor Keene talk candidly about why recovery works: taking the mask off, finding a safe circle, and learning to love yourself in a healthy way so you can truly love your neighbor. They dig into fear, confession, healing, and how God can use imperfect people, including Peter, who was powerfully used by God while still needing correction and growth.

This is a revival-minded conversation about grace, honesty, and the freedom of walking with Jesus without pretending. If you are tired of hiding and ready to heal, who is one safe person you can talk to this week?

Together, Tom and Aaron connect Scripture, brain science, and daily discipline, breaking down what Aaron calls a “daily dose” of mental health: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins, and why service, community, and consistency matter when the enemy’s strategy is isolation. Aaron also shares the “slag” metaphor from metallurgy: trials heat you up, impurities surface, and God refines you into something useful when you stay in the process instead of running from it.

This conversation is a direct call to action for anyone stuck in shame, addiction, anxiety, or burnout: stop healing in isolation, build your squad, and start small daily practices that rewire your mind and strengthen your walk with God. If your pain is trying to define you, what would it look like to let God turn it into a mission?

Back in the States with two suitcases, no job, and a shattered sense of identity, Kameron describes a season where life kept piling on: grief, loss, and uncertainty about whether his calling was over. In the middle of that, God used a local church, steady leadership, and a place to serve to rebuild his purpose from the ground up, teaching him that biblical success is not platform or scale, but faithfulness and the value of one soul.

As healing took root, Kameron’s story took an unexpected turn: a new relationship, clear confirmation, restored hope, and a home he’d prayed for all his life, proving God can shape brokenness into something better than you imagined. If your world has fallen apart and you’re questioning your identity, what would it look like to rebuild your life through God-first priorities, healthy systems, and daily intentional love?

Instead of letting shame define him, Al describes the turning point where he surrendered control, trusted God’s plan, and watched his life reframe from “locking people up” to “unlocking potential.” Along the way, they talk about authenticity, obedience, and why bringing your story into the light removes its destructive power and turns it into a tool for someone else’s healing.

If your past feels like a stain you can’t erase, what would change if you stopped hiding it, reclaimed your God-given identity, and used it to help the version of you that’s still out there struggling?

Ian refused to let that prognosis become his identity. He shares the mindset shift that carried him through years of rehab, the role of the right voices and tough love, and the “RINSE” framework he built from lived experience: Remember, Imagine, Notice, Shift, and Expect.

If you’re staring down a diagnosis, setback, or season that feels impossible, what would change if you decided, “I make it, or I make it” and started taking the next step anyway?

You’ll also hear the heart behind High Hope Ministries, their “Gather & Grow” weekends, and why purpose matters after recovery. They talk about tough love, community, counseling, and the danger of isolation, plus the moment when surrender became the turning point instead of the end.

If God can take the broken pieces, fill the cracks, and turn pain into purpose, what might He be ready to bring you through next?

Tom sits down with Warren Mainard to talk about why “rejoice always” is more than a verse. It can be a lifeline when stress, uncertainty, and pressure start stacking up.

They also unpack the power of brotherhood through Impact Players, a movement designed to help men thrive as husbands, fathers, and leaders through honest conversation, biblical truth, and real accountability. From parking lot conversations to small cohorts, this is about men refusing to live isolated and choosing to show up for each other.

If gratitude can shift your mindset and community can steady your steps, what would change in your life if you stopped doing it alone?

Susan opens up about how unresolved trauma and isolation can pull you into deeper confusion, and how shame keeps humanity silent when they need help most. Then she walks through the turning point: a moment of desperation, God’s intervention, and the practical steps that helped her heal, including a powerful exercise of writing letters she never sent and releasing the weight she’d carried for years.

If you’ve ever wondered whether freedom is still possible after the choices you regret, the pain you couldn’t control, or the road you never planned to walk, what would it look like to believe God can bring you out too?

Amberly opens up about the journey after her devastating motorcycle accident, the reality of living with chronic regional pain syndrome (CRPS), the long road of surgeries, and how the pressure to “keep producing” quietly pulled her out of alignment. She talks candidly about addiction, relapse, recovery, and what it took to rebuild from the inside out.

Dr. Damien shares how Amberly’s story reached him at the exact moment he needed it, when shame and imposter syndrome were telling him to stay quiet. Together, they normalize conversations that many people avoid: asking for help, finding the right rooms, building a healthy circle, and replacing destructive patterns with life-giving practices.

A major centerpiece of the episode is Amberly’s PACER Method:
Perspective, Acceptance, Community, Endurance, Rest
A practical framework for staying grounded, resilient, and spiritually centered when your body, emotions, or circumstances feel like they are pushing you to the edge.

They also talk about:

• Why gratitude is a perspective-shifter when the day starts heavy

• How honesty and acceptance unlock real transformation

• Why community and service keep you from isolating

• How endurance is fueled by remembering your “why”

• Why rest is not optional and how unworthiness can sabotage it

• Recovery basics like HALT and the importance of boundaries

• Getting in the right rooms, around the right voices, at the right time

If you’ve ever battled pain, addiction, depression, shame, or exhaustion, this episode is a reminder: you are not alone, you do not have to white-knuckle life, and joy is still possible, even in the middle of the fight.

They talk about the hidden weight many families carry: dementia, hospice, grief, family dynamics, sleep deprivation, and the cost of trying to do it alone. Dr. Nesser breaks down the importance of team, boundaries, and asking for help, and he offers practical insight from decades of working with students, parents, and families through anxiety, depression, and relational strain.

The conversation also turns to modern challenges inside the home: screen addiction, intentional presence, active listening, and the quiet ways we communicate value or disregard to the people closest to us. The core thread stays consistent: connection over isolation, accountability over excuses, and faith over fear.

Dr. Nesser also shares where to find his book Bloom Where You Are and his coaching tools, plus the guiding mantra that has shaped his life: learn, dream, achieve, and give back.

Jordan opens up about losing his mother, the weight that loss carried for years, and how God used both pain and perspective to form purpose. He walks through pivotal turning points: learning resilience early, surviving a high-speed rollover accident, stepping into leadership roles without feeling ready, and discovering that the skills he gained in corporate training and development were preparation for the business he would eventually build.

They close by talking about community, faith, and the power of telling your story, plus Jordan’s work helping entrepreneurs, coaches, authors, and speakers build authentic brands and “collapse the timeline” on growth by learning proven systems without years of trial and error.

They talk honestly about what it takes to come back after betrayal, addiction, and years of broken trust, and why real healing rarely happens fast. Dr. Sirstad breaks down the four supports every recovery needs, and they challenge the “just forgive and never mention it again” approach that quietly keeps marriages stuck.

If you need hope and a clear next step, this one’s for you.

Lana shares what that first night felt like, why they immediately called their pastor, and why isolation is never the answer when betrayal and trauma hit. Together they talk through the early weeks of counseling, the pain of staggered disclosure, and the hard work it took to rebuild honesty and stability.

They also unpack the turning points that followed: marriage intensive work, relapse and recovery, rehab, boundaries, and the role faith, community, and accountability played in real healing. The conversation moves toward hope, including the moment the idea of Joy Hour was born, and why connection is essential for recovery, mental health, and lasting change.

If you’re walking through betrayal, addiction, or the weight of hidden struggles, this episode is a reminder: you’re not alone, and healing is possible when you bring things into the light.