Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

Why Narcissists Need Ongoing Drama: It's All About Keeping You Exhausted & Under Control

Sat, 31 Oct 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Have you noticed how the narcissist’s apology never is an apology? How yesterday's fight get rewritten so you’re the villain?

In this episode, Kerry and Lynn Strathdee expose the hidden mechanics behind chronic antagonism. Why some narcissists need ongoing drama to stay in control and to keep you exhausted.

The history-rewriting along with the non-stop crisis cycle are to keep you under control so you’re centering your life around them. It's about supply and control.

WANT TO GO DEEPER?

In the exclusive podcast extra, Kerry and Lynn get practical. Learn how to spot the pattern vs. a one-off bad day. Discover how to protect your energy and plan an exit.

Get immediate access to this and 100+ premium interviews when you join as a Super Thriver in the Toxic-Free Relationship Club today. Join here — https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLQyhjWUzWrBfoQlC5ZotQ/join

LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism and narcissistic abuse recovery, and former educator helping adults reclaim identity after chronic antagonism.

WEBSITE: https://echoismrecovery.com/

00:00 They feed off drama: conflict keeps you in line 00:47 When the fight isn't really about the fight 03:26 Some people feed off conflict 05:11 How the fight-and-make-up cycle builds a trauma bond 08:48 They matter, you don't 09:39 "I felt replaceable" 11:44 Scripted intimacy: the strawberry date 13:47 We walk into relationships hungry 17:22 Why you didn't see it coming 18:37 They want attention, not connection 20:46 When they cast you in a role 25:53 Shadow: why the good stuff is hardest to own 28:11 Preview: rewriting history to dodge the blame

#Narcissist #NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #Gaslighting #CovertNarcissist #ToxicRelationships #EmotionalAbuse #TraumaBonding #Boundaries #MentalHealth

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The Ugly Truth About Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: Why Your Kids and Friends Don't Know How to Help You.

Thu, 29 Oct 2026 10:44:00 -0000

You’ve tried explaining yourself. You’ve tried having the conversation. But what happens when nothing changes, no matter how carefully you say it?

When you’ve spent so long questioning yourself, it can be difficult to trust your own judgment about what’s happening.

If you’re struggling to make sense of your relationship, take my free Toxic or Troubled? survey to gain some clarity and explore your next steps.

https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/toxic-troubled-survey

Why do the people closest to you seem to pull away right when you need them most? Leaving a toxic relationship doesn’t end the fallout. It changes your relationships with everyone else too. In this episode, Kerry answers two listener questions from recent live streams about what happens after you leave: how to reconnect with adult children who grew up in the chaos, and why friends often struggle to stay close while you heal. In this episode, learn: 1. Why you may still be walking on eggshells around your adult kids, and how to tell real tension from old fear 2. How your silence can read as not caring, and the one honest conversation that can change everything 3. How to apologize for the times trauma kept you from showing up, without needing a certain response back 4. Why “trauma dumping” is actually a normal stage of recovery, and why you may lose friends during it 5. How to handle well-meaning people who say painful things like “at least you knew love” WANT TO GO DEEPER?

In the exclusive podcast extra, Kerry and Lynn get honest about the promise that keeps so many people stuck: “I’ll change for you.” Learn why desperate promises to change vanish the moment the relationship feels secure again.

Get immediate access to this and 100+ premium interviews when you become a Substack paid subscriber today. Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

00:00 Why people stop listening to your story

01:03 Walking on eggshells with your adult kids

02:38 The hotel room talk with my son

04:08 When your kids picked up narcissistic fleas

05:51 How to apologize to your kids

09:16 The habits we carry from a toxic relationship

10:02 Trauma dumping is a normal part of recovery

12:37 Why people don't want to hear your story

15:12 I lost friends over my story

16:17 "At least you knew love": what not to say

18:15 Some people can't meet you where you are

#NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #NarcissisticAbuse #ToxicRelationship #TraumaBonding #TraumaDumping #AdultChildren #NarcissisticFleas #EmotionalAbuse #TraumaRecovery #MentalHealth

What Happens Inside a Narcissist the Moment You Confront Them & Why It Will Never Lead to Change

Mon, 26 Oct 2026 10:48:00 -0000

You’ve tried explaining yourself. You’ve tried having the conversation. But what happens when nothing changes, no matter how carefully you say it?

When you’ve spent so long questioning yourself, it can be difficult to trust your own judgment about what’s happening.

If you’re struggling to make sense of your relationship, take my free Toxic or Troubled? survey to gain some clarity and explore your next steps.

https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/toxic-troubled-survey

Have you ever confronted a narcissist about something truly hurtful and watched it vanish in seconds? A flicker of discomfort, then a reset, as if it never happened?

In this episode, Kerry and psychotherapist Lynn Strathdee take on the question listeners ask most: can a narcissist change? They explore why owning the problem is the real dividing line, the debate over shame versus humiliation, and what happens inside a disordered personality the moment it’s challenged.

WANT TO GO DEEPER?

Get immediate access to this and 100+ premium interviews when you become a Substack paid subscriber today. Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism and narcissistic abuse recovery, and former educator helping adults reclaim identity after chronic antagonism. WEBSITE: https://echoismrecovery.com/

00:00 What happens inside a narcissist when you confront them

00:39 Can a personality disorder ever change?

02:56 Born with the tools: the wagon story

04:29 Why they won't own the problem

06:18 Do narcissists feel shame or humiliation?

07:43 Not enough of a "me" to change

10:30 Why real growth means sitting with discomfort

13:13 They reset right in front of you

16:56 Two years asking "can he change?"

18:59 How he faked change to keep me calm

22:22 Why victims get duped

24:41 Coming up in the Podcast Extra

#Narcissist #NarcissisticAbuse #CanNarcissistsChange #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #CovertNarcissist #Gaslighting #EmotionalAbuse #ToxicRelationships #HealingAfterNarcissisticAbuse

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

The 7-Stage Trauma Bond That Makes Leaving Feel Impossible

Thu, 22 Oct 2026 15:28:00 -0000

Why do smart people stay in toxic relationships long after they see the pattern? It was never weakness — it was conditioning by design.

In this episode, Kerry unpacks the hidden mechanics behind the 7-stage trauma-bonding trap — how predators wire dependency, hijack empathy, rewrite reality, and shut down your sense of self.

In this episode, learn:

1. Why love bombing is conditioning that creates rapid pseudo-intimacy and makes you feel uniquely seen

2. How predators manufacture dependency by playing the sympathetic victim

3. How devaluation disguised as "helpful advice" slides into gaslighting that rewrites your memory and makes you doubt your feelings

4. Why submission and loss of self leave you centered entirely on keeping them happy while you disappear

5. How intermittent reinforcement re-hooks you right when you're ready to leave

00:00 Why smart people get stuck in trauma bonds

01:19 How Kerry discovered trauma bonding

03:45 Who exploiters target, and why it's you

05:20 Stage 1: Love bombing

06:37 Stage 2: Trust and dependency

11:22 Stage 3: Devaluation

12:18 Stages 4 and 5: Gaslighting and shrinking

13:16 Stage 6: Loss of self, and the cycle restarts

14:15 Why your intelligence works against you

16:47 Why knowing about narcissists doesn't protect you

17:46 Pavlov's dog: how you were conditioned

20:03 Where your real power is

#TraumaBonding #LoveBombing #Gaslighting #NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #EmotionalAbuse #ToxicRelationship #NarcissistRedFlags #TraumaRecovery #MentalHealth

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

Reactive Abuse: 4 Questions That Reveal Who Was Really the Dangerous One in the Room

Thu, 08 Oct 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Reactive abuse isn't a sign you've become the abusive one. It's the predictable end of a setup: months of provocation, timed for the moment you finally break. In this highlight from Kerry's weekly live Q&A, she takes on the night so many survivors never tell anyone about. When you, as the survivor, lost it. She also explains why the better question isn't "What's wrong with me?" but "What was being done to me?" In this episode, learn: • The four questions that reveal who in the room was actually the dangerous one • Why they bait you into reacting, then use it to tell everyone how unstable you are • How exhaustion, deprivation and constant provocation wear down anyone's self-control • Gray rock vs. yellow rock, and why snark is still engagement • "Is this an old feeling or a new feeling?" — the question that steadies you in the moment

00:00 The night you don't tell anyone about 01:59 Screaming in the shower 04:02 What the teacher never saw 05:58 Question 1: Whose arousal went up? 09:57 Question 2: Did your distress slow them down or speed them up? 12:41 Question 3: Was there repair afterward? 14:29 Why you finally broke 19:10 Question 4: Who ended up apologizing? 20:14 Gray rock vs. yellow rock: stop feeding the provocation 24:06 Is this an old feeling or a new feeling? #ReactiveAbuse #NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #GrayRockMethod #YellowRock #SmearCampaign #EmotionalAbuse #AbusiveRelationship #TraumaRecovery #HealingJourney

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

Dr. Les Carter: Stop Trying to Make a Narcissist Understand You — Do This Instead

Mon, 05 Oct 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Are You Feeling Stuck?
Take my FREE “Toxic or Troubled?” survey to discover your relationship type and get instant access to a complete, private mini-course—educational overviews, reflective questions, grounding techniques, and new strategies tailored to your situation.
▶ Start here: https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/toxic-troubled-survey

——

What if every explanation you offer becomes ammunition? Have you noticed how a narcissist stays one-up without ever having to raise their voice

In this episode, Kerry and Dr. Les Carter expose the hidden power mechanics that keep you arguing in circles. Many narcissists use the Gotcha Game which flips every conversation into a confrontation because it’s all about power.

WANT TO GO DEEPER?
In the exclusive podcast extra, Kerry and Les get practical. Learn how to hold your ground, take your exit, and let go of the need to convince them.

Get immediate access to this and 100+ premium interviews when you join as a paid Substack subscriber today. Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

DR. LES CARTER is the creator of Surviving Narcissism, an author and educator helping survivors build self-trust, healthy boundaries, and stay out of the power trap with a narcissist.
WEBSITE: https://survivingnarcissism.tv/

#Narcissist #NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #Gaslighting #CovertNarcissist #ToxicRelationships #EmotionalAbuse #Boundaries #SelfTrust #MentalHealth

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

They Didn't Miss You, They Ran Out of Money: How Hoovering Actually Works

Thu, 01 Oct 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Future faking hoovering isn't a change of heart. It's a second round of grooming, aimed at exactly what the first round wanted.

In this highlight from Kerry's weekly live Q&A, she takes on what's actually happening when someone shows up with flowers, apologies and a raked pile of leaves after months of silence — and why the answer has almost nothing to do with you.

In this episode:
• Why not being hoovered is a read on what you had left to give
• Hoovering is a role vacancy, not a longing
• Love bombing and hoovering: one objective, two stages, two sets of tools
• Why "pathetic chasing behavior" isn't your flaw — it's how humans are built
• The two questions that decode any hoover: what do they need, and why now?

#Hoovering #FutureFaking #NarcissisticHoovering #NarcissisticAbuse #LoveBombing #NoContact #EmotionalAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #TraumaRecovery #HealingJourney

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Narcissist, Psychopath, or Sadist? Does Naming Your Abuser's Personality Type Actually Help?

Mon, 28 Sep 2026 06:00:00 -0000

What if naming the disorder never actually got you out? And what if the thing you've been calling proof was really just a way to feel in control?

In this episode, Kerry and co-host Lynn Strathdee take on the debate splitting the recovery world right now — one universal predator type, or many distinct subtypes.

You can know exactly what someone is and stay anyway. You can't choose your neighbor, your coworker, or the parent sitting next to you at the PTA meeting. Understanding the diagnosis is not the same as being protected from it.

Certainty feels like safety — and that's precisely why it's worth questioning.

WANT TO GO DEEPER?
In the exclusive podcast extra, Kerry and Lynn get practical: learn a technique from Kerry's clinical supervision for reading a person by reading your own reaction to them. Get immediate access to this and 100+ premium interviews when you subscribe today.
Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.

WEBSITE: https://echoismrecovery.com/

#NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #DarkTriad #DarkTetrad #Machiavellianism #VulnerableNarcissist #CoerciveControl #ToxicRelationships #EmotionalAbuse #MentalHealth

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Gray Divorce and the 30-Year Con: Why Covert Narcissists Never Wanted You to Leave

Thu, 24 Sep 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Gray divorce isn't a midlife crisis. For a lot of people, it's the end of a con that ran for decades.

When researchers ask why people divorce after 50, the top answer from women isn't money or infidelity — it was abuse.

In this highlight from Kerry's weekly live Q&A, she takes on why so many people stay in psychologically abusive marriages for 20 or 30 years, and why leaving late isn't a failure of judgment.

In this episode:
* Why boomers are divorcing at four times the rate of 1990
* Why the mask falls on the honeymoon, in pregnancy, or after the baby arrives
* The attribution bias that made you call a pattern a mistake
* Why every "fresh start" was engineered — and why you weren't foolish, you were fooled
* The staircase of escalation: from control to criticism to being told you "just don't think"
* Why leaving late is a sign of strength, not weakness

#GrayDivorce #CovertNarcissist #CovertNarcissism #NarcissisticAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #Manipulation #TraumaRecovery #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #HealingJourney #MentalHealth

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Narcissistic Love Withdrawal: Why You Chase Their Affection and Lose Yourself

Mon, 21 Sep 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Why did you do things you swore you'd never do, just to get their love back?

In this episode, Kerry and researcher Dr. Karen Mitchell unpack why affection from a narcissistic or predatory partner can feel like a drug. It's intense and strategic, and then it's suddenly withdrawn. They also explore who predatory people target: honest, kind-hearted people. And why recovery can take years.

This was never about you being weak. The pull you felt was engineered, and understanding it is how you break free.

WANT TO GO DEEPER?
In the exclusive podcast extra interview Dr. Mitchell unpacks the hidden mechanics behind spotting human predators. Get immediate access to this and 100+ premium interviews when you subscribe today.
Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

DR. KAREN MITCHELL is a researcher and author of Human Predators, behind the largest global study on predatory behavior and neurological differences outside of prison settings. She advocates for a new framework — 20 attributes and 25 tactics — to identify human predators and expose how they control, isolate, and escape accountability without physical force.

#NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #DarkPsychology #HumanPredator #Psychopath #CoerciveControl #Brainwashing #ToxicRelationships #Gaslighting #MentalHealth

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

DARVO Exposed: How Manipulators Make YOU the Abuser When You Confront Them

Thu, 17 Sep 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Why did the narcissist’s collapse look so real — curled on the floor, shaking, sweating, begging you not to leave — yet nothing changed after?

What looks like a breakdown is often a temporary loss of status, not a loss of identity — the defensive structure drops for 30 seconds, then rapidly reconsolidates and the manipulation continues. This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment.

In this episode, Kerry unpacks the hidden mechanics behind narcissistic collapse and what it takes to step out of that role:

• Why the dramatic display is often a performance to block abandonment
• Why true collapse requires remorse and self-reflection
• How the defensive structure drops when challenged, then reframes and re-hardens
• Why they demand you affirm they are still good

#NarcissisticCollapse #NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #EmotionalAbuse #TraumaRecovery #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #MentalHealth #HealingJourney

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Narcissists Ruin Your Sleep: Don't Miss This Nasty Bedtime Control Tactic

Mon, 14 Sep 2026 06:00:00 -0000

What if the reason you feel like you're always “nagging” has nothing to do with you being difficult — and everything to do with deliberate provocation?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy and Lynn Strathdee break down the hidden mechanics behind pathological provocation — why abusers poke, prod, and sabotage your boundaries at bedtime and beyond. How they insist on misunderstanding you, wear you down, and then recast you as the “whining nag” to make themselves the victim. This isn’t about the victim — it’s about the dysfunctional nature of the abuser.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment
Want to go deeper? Become a Substack paid subscriber and learn why owning the traits you don't want people to see in you (your "difficult" side) is actually what protects you from being exploited.

Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interviews when you subscribe today. Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

Bring your questions live — Tuesday 60-min Live Stream (4 PM CDT/5 PM ET) & Wednesday Live Q&A at 11 AM CDT / Noon ET.

LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.

WEBSITE: https://echoismrecovery.com/

#NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #TraumaBonding #ToxicRelationships #Gaslighting #MentalHealth

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

I Treated Narcissists for Years and Never Saw a Collapse — Here's What Really Happens

Thu, 10 Sep 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

He Fooled Every Therapist in the Room — What No One Warns You (feat. Chelsey Brooke Cole)

Mon, 07 Sep 2026 06:00:00 -0000

What if the trait everyone praises you for is the exact one the narcissist is scanning for?

That isn’t naivety. That isn’t missing the red flags. Agreeableness — assuming people are honest, wanting harmony, believing no one would be cruel on purpose — is a readable personality profile, and predators read it faster than you can.

In this episode, Kerry sits down with therapist and author Chelsey Brooke Cole. Cole married two narcissists — one grandiose, one covert — while practicing as a clinician herself. She breaks down why agreeable people are targeted rather than unlucky, how narcissists game the therapy room while the professionals in it cheer them on, and the chilling answer her husband gave when she asked him what shame actually meant to him.

🔒 Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment

Want to go deeper?
Become a Substack paid subscriber and hear Chelsey give you the single question that collapses a gaslighting conversation in real time — the one you ask yourself when you can't tell whether you're being unreasonable or being worked. Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interviews when you subscribe today.
Join here.

CHELSEY BROOKE COLE is a licensed psychotherapist, Certified Partner Trauma Therapist, and best-selling author of If Only I'd Known! How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth. She specializes in narcissistic abuse and complex trauma, with her work routinely featured in outlets like USA Today, HuffPost, and Psychology Today. She is the host of Restoring Resilience, a podcast dedicated to helping survivors heal and reclaim their lives, and the creator of the program Rewired for Resilience: Reclaiming Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse.

#NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #CovertNarcissist #BetrayalTrauma #PredatorPsychology #ToxicRelationships

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The Family Scapegoat: Why You Were Chosen, and Why It Was Never About You

Thu, 03 Sep 2026 14:00:00 -0000

Why does one person in the family end up carrying everything — the blame, the mood, the thing nobody will say out loud? That wasn't a flaw in you. That was a role, and someone cast you in it.

Scapegoating is bullying that a family agrees not to stop, and it works because it holds the group together at your expense.

This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment. In this episode, Kerry breaks down why families choose a scapegoat, why the role follows you into adulthood, and why none of it was ever about you:
• Why scapegoating is really bullying — and why a smear campaign is the same dynamic
• The four reasons a family picks a scapegoat, including the truth-teller who sees too clearly
• What the people who witnessed it learned to do instead of stopping it
• Introjection: how you took in a role that was never yours to carry
• Why the doubt you feel afterward makes sense — and why it was always about them

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How Narcissists Pick Their Victims in Under an Hour

Mon, 31 Aug 2026 06:00:00 -0000

What if it only takes him an hour to know exactly how to control you?

That wasn't chemistry. That wasn't "instant connection." A predator ran a background check on your character to know if you had the exact traits he needs to exploit.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry sits down with returning author and expert, Don Hennessy. Hennessy has spent decades working directly with abusive men. He breaks down the calculated, deliberate selection process predators use to identify and groom targets.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment
Want to go deeper?

Become a Substack paid subscriber and hear Hennessy's blunt verdict on whether predators can ever truly change — and the one phrase he says you should never say to an abuser again. Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interviews when you subscribe today.
Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

DON HENNESSY is an author and educator who has spent decades working directly with groups of abusive men to understand the deliberate, calculated psychology behind intimate partner abuse. His work challenges the popular myth that abusers "lose control," arguing instead that their behavior is a conscious strategy — and that recognizing the pattern early is the most effective form of protection.

Books:

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Rumination After Narcissistic Abuse: Why Your Mind Won't Stop, and How to Break the Loop

Thu, 27 Aug 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Why do you keep replaying a relationship that's already over — running the same five minutes on a loop, searching for the one detail that will finally make sense of it?

That wasn't you overthinking. That was your nervous system trying to close a case file that has no ending. You survived a partner who gaslit you and switched faces so that the "true" version of them was never verifiable.

This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry breaks down why narcissistic relationships in particular trigger relentless rumination, and why logic can't stop it:

Why the gaslighting-and-Jekyll-and-Hyde split that makes it difficult to verify the truth
Why the mental looping can't doesn’t stop
The best practical strategy to disrupt the fight-or-flight spiral
And how to find closure that will never come from them

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The Narcissist Relationship Cycle: Why They Get Bored and Repeat It

Mon, 24 Aug 2026 06:00:00 -0000

What if the reason they keep coming back to you has nothing to do with love — and everything to do with boredom?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Lynn Strathdee break down the internal clock that drives narcissistic relationship cycles. How pathological partners idealize, withdraw, only to circle back. This isn’t about the victim—it’s about the dysfunctional nature of the abuser.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment

Want to go deeper? Become a Substack paid subscriber and learn why owning the traits you don't want people to see in you (your "difficult" side) is actually what protects you from being exploited.

Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interview with you subscribe today. Join here->https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.

WEBSITE: https://echoismrecovery.com/

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The Narcissist’s Hit-And-Run Tactic: Why They Leave You Feeling Crazy

Thu, 20 Aug 2026 06:00:00 -0000

They said they'd "never talk to you again" — like it was a boundary. Like it was healthy. But the silence never actually stayed silent. Behind your back, a different story was already being told behind your back.

And when you reach out, you’re blocked.

This is a smear campaign with a "no contact" mask on.

This episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy reads from your stories — real accounts from people who lived through the attack-then-block cycle — to break down what's actually happening when a narcissist "refuses to engage."

In this episode:

Why narcissists weaponize "I don't argue" as a performance for an audience, not a boundary for you
The block-and-smear pattern: how silence toward you becomes a story told behind your back
How this tactic exploits your trauma-informed instincts, making distance look like discernment
Why survivors are left unable to defend themselves against a narrative they never even heard
What documenting and disengaging safely actually looks like — without chasing the last word

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Divorce Attorney Diana Romanov: Why Being Nice to a Narcissist Can Leave You Homeless

Mon, 17 Aug 2026 06:00:00 -0000

The divorce papers are signed. The marriage is over. But for survivors of narcissistic abuse, the legal system is often where the abuse escalates — not ends.

In this conversation, Kerry McAvoy and Family Law Attorney Diana Romanov decode the legal tactics narcissists weaponize after you leave. How conflict avoidance becomes your abuser’s most powerful legal advantage. Learn how the earliest red flags predict exactly how dangerous the divorce will be.

Exclusive Podcast Extra Segment

Want to go deeper? What happens when survivors of narcissistic abuse hire an attorney who mirrors the very dynamic they just escaped?

In this Members-Only segment, Diana reveals why trauma survivors unconsciously gravitate toward legal representation that replicates familiar but toxic relationship dynamics and what it costs them. Learn the most important rarely asked question your attorney should be asking you.

Become a paid subscriber and unlock your access to this exclusive segment today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

DIANA ROMANOV is a California-certified Family Law Specialist and divorce attorney with over 25 years of experience representing clients in high-conflict and narcissistic abuse cases. As the creator of Divorce Like a Boss, she brings legal precision and hard-won courtroom insight to the realities survivors face when leaving toxic relationships — revealing not just the legal strategy, but the psychological warfare playing out in filings, hearings, and depositions.

YOUTUBE: Divorce Like a Boss

WEBSITE

#NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #ToxicRelationships #npd #divorcinganarcissist #postseparationabuse #coercivecontrol #highconflictdivorce

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Feed Swap: Beneath the Apology — Shame, Image & the Illusion of Empathy with Renee Swanson & Dr. Mazella

Fri, 14 Aug 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Why does their apology leave you feeling like the one who did something wrong? \

Continuing this week's feed swap, I'm sharing a conversation from Renee Swanson's Covert Narcissism Podcast — this time a guest interview with Dr. Anthony Mazzella, a psychodynamic therapist and host of The Narcissism Decoder.

Together they get underneath the behavior to the "why," unpacking what they call the illusion of empathy: the moment an apology looks like remorse but is really about image control.

A note: this is part of an ongoing series on guilt and shame, so you'll hear Renee and Dr. Mazzella reference earlier conversations and tease the next one — you can follow the whole thread on Renee's feed.

Be gentle with yourself as you listen, and reach out to a trusted person or support resource if any of it hits close to home.

Find more of Renee's work and her coaching at covertnarcissism.com.

Follow Renee: TikTok I YouTube I Facebook I Instagram I Website

Listen to the Podcast: Bleav Network - On All Platforms

#covertnarcissism #gaslighting #Narcissism #npd

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The Financial Abuse Tactic Narcissists Use When They 'Have No Money

Thu, 13 Aug 2026 06:00:00 -0000

They said they were managing the finances — because you weren't good with money.

That every purchase had to go through them. But somehow, there was always money for what they wanted.

They made you feel like a child asking for an allowance — in your own home. And the moment you tried to leave, you realized you had nothing. Because they had made sure of it. That wasn't financial stress. That was financial control.

This Thursday episode, Kerry reads from real accounts from people who lived inside financially controlling relationships. Learn what the 'broke' narcissist tactic looks like from the inside.

In this episode:

Why narcissists use money as a tool of surveillance and control
The 'broke' performance: how narcissists claim poverty while draining your resources
How financial abuse creates a dependency trap designed to make leaving feel impossible
Why survivors so often exit these relationships starting over — in debt, isolated, and exhausted
What financial recovery really requires

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How Narcissists Use Love Bombing to Build a Financial Trap

Mon, 10 Aug 2026 06:00:00 -0000

He checked the grocery receipt. And the look on his face said everything: he expected to catch you at something.

You weren't a partner. You were a suspected thief.

But that moment — that first time money became a surveillance tool — didn't come out of nowhere. It didn't start with the receipts, or the interrogations, or the separate account he opened without telling you.

It started the moment he made you feel like the luckiest person alive. Because that feeling — of being chosen, adored, and completely seen — was the setup for everything that came after.

This week, Kerry sits down with clinical co-host and UK psychologist Lynn S. to break down exactly how narcissists use love bombing to lay the groundwork for financial control — and why so many survivors don't recognize the trap until they're already inside it.

In this episode:

Why money is never just money in a narcissistic relationship
The "eating off my plate" impulse: the primitive threat response that drives financial control
How love bombing creates the emotional dependency that makes financial control feel normal — even deserved
The "empty jar" framework: why giving second chances too early is one of the most dangerous mistakes in new relationships.

Want to go deeper?

For the Podcast Extra interview:

Paid Substack subscribers get exclusive access to Kerry and Lynn's full conversation on "sitting in the grey" — the psychological skill narcissists systematically destroy, and why rebuilding your capacity to trust your own inner compass requires something most survivors never think to look for.

🔒 Become a paid subscriber and unlock your access today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

Website

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Narcissistic Parents Don't Love Their Children — They Use Them

Thu, 06 Aug 2026 06:00:00 -0000

They said they were managing the finances — because you weren't good with money. That every purchase had to go through them.

But somehow, there was always money for what they wanted. They made you feel like a child asking for an allowance — in your own home. And the moment you tried to leave, you realized you had nothing. Because they had made sure of it.

That wasn't financial stress. That was financial control.

This Thursday episode, Kerry reads from your stories — real accounts from people who lived inside financially controlling relationships — to break down what financial abuse actually is and what the 'broke' narcissist tactic looks like from the inside.

In this episode:

Why narcissists use money as a tool of surveillance and control
The 'broke' performance: how narcissists claim poverty while draining your resources
How financial abuse creates a dependency trap designed to make leaving feel impossible
Why survivors so often exit these relationships having to start over in debt, isolated, and exhausted
What financial recovery really requires

Key Moments:

00:00 — Caught in the middle: the child who can't take sides
02:05 — "My worst enemy, but also my best friend": love with conditions
03:39 — When the sensitive child becomes the target
05:07 — The gaze that builds a self — and the one that breaks it
06:36 — "I never said that": memory gaslighting and siblings who stop speaking
08:55 — Protecting your kids: hypervigilance, loyalty binds, and staying regulated

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When Your Narcissistic Ex Weaponizes Your Children in Their Smear Campaign

Mon, 03 Aug 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Your child comes home from a visit with the other parent guarded. Repeating things they couldn't have come up with on their own. Now they’re looking at you differently.

That's not just "divorce being hard." That's a smear campaign — and your narcissistic ex has recruited your own children to run it.

This week, Dr. Josh Davis — neuroscientist, psychologist, and author of The Difference That Makes a Difference — joins Kerry McAvoy to break down exactly how narcissistic exes weaponize children in their smear campaigns, and what you can do to protect your relationship with your kids without playing the narcissist's game.

In this episode:

Why narcissistic exes target children in their smear campaigns and what they're really trying to accomplish
The 3 signs your child is being used as a messenger or weapon against you
How to respond when your child repeats the narcissist's narrative
The one mistake most co-parents make that actually deepens the alienation

Exclusive Podcast Extra Segment

Want to go deeper?

Paid Substack subscribers get exclusive access to Dr. Davis's most powerful technique — a simple mental shift that lets you step outside the chaos of a difficult co-parenting moment, see it clearly, and stop reacting

🔒 Become a paid subscriber and unlock your access today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

DR. JOSH DAVIS is a neuroscientist, psychologist, and author of The Difference That Makes a Difference. His work helps parents build stronger connections with their children using tools from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and neuroscience.

Website

Book: The Difference That Makes the Difference: NLP and the Science of Positive Change

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Feed Swap: Covert Narcissist Relationships — When You Can't Live the Lie Anymore with Renee Swanson

Fri, 31 Jul 2026 06:00:00 -0000

If you can name the patterns and see the behaviors, have you wondered why do you still feel so stuck?

This week I'm sharing an episode from Renee Swanson of the Covert Narcissism Podcast — a feed swap I wanted to bring straight to this community. Renee unpacks what she calls "hitting the wall": the moment you can no longer live the lie in a covert narcissistic relationship, when you can't keep pretending that you're fine, that your family is fine, when it simply isn't.

Renee Swanson, the host, walks through the two paths that lead there — the slow erosion that wears you down mentally, emotionally, and physically, and the sudden crack that changes everything in an instant — and what actually happens inside you when you reach that point: the numbness, the strange relief, the self-doubt. Then she gets practical about the conversation itself: what you're really trying to do when you name your reality out loud, the responses to expect (DARVO, minimizing, tears, an eerie calm), and how to stay grounded when it goes sideways.

If any of this is your life right now, please be gentle with yourself as you listen — and reach out to a trusted person or a domestic-abuse resource if you need support. Find more of Renee's work and her coaching at covertnarcissism.com.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When Narcissists Weaponize Food: What Survivors Need to Hear

Thu, 30 Jul 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Food shouldn't feel like a threat — but for narcissistic abuse survivors, it often does.

In this viewer stories episode, survivors share exactly how the narcissist in their life weaponized food — turning meals into rituals of control, criticism, and shame. Kerry shares her own experience too. If mealtime ever filled you with dread, this episode will name what you lived through and show you why it happened.

In this episode:
• The specific tactics narcissists use to weaponize food
• Why this coercive control tactic is so hard to identify
• How emotional abuse through food leaves lasting shame, body image wounds, and even eating disorders
• 3 concrete steps to begin reclaiming your relationship with food after narcissistic abuse.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The Real Reason Narcissists Make Food About Control

Mon, 27 Jul 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Food is the most primal human need — and narcissists know it. The demands that ruin a vacation. The meal that is never made right. The praise given once, then withheld forever. These are calculated moves in a much larger control strategy.

In this conversation, Kerry McAvoy and co-host Lynn S. decode the psychology behind narcissistic food control: why it is never actually about the food, how narcissists exploit your deepest vulnerabilities through something as basic as sustenance, and why recognizing this pattern is the first step toward disengaging from a dynamic designed to make you feel perpetually inadequate.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment

Want to go deeper? In this Members-Only episode — Lynn and Dr. Kerry unpack what happens after the recognition and why healing from food-based control takes longer than most expect.

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

WEBSITE

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Harmless Joke? No, It Was Sadism & Why Your Body Spotted the Truth First

Thu, 23 Jul 2026 06:00:00 -0000

That flash of something is wrong you couldn't quite explain? Your body caught it before your mind could argue you down.

In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy reacts to a so-called "prank" a husband pulled on his wife — secretly serving her breast milk in their guests' coffee, then bringing her breakfast in bed: toast smeared with their newborn's poop in place of peanut butter. The wife wondered if she was overreacting. Too sensitive. Unable to take a joke.

This is everyday sadism — cruelty dressed up as humor — and it runs on the same engine as narcissistic abuse and gaslighting: make you doubt what you felt, and you'll never confront what they did. That's the trap. Everyday sadism doesn't hide in the shadows. Your own decency blinds you, because you can't imagine someone who claims to love you could be this callous. So instead of confronting the person who hurt you, you turn on yourself — convinced you must have gotten it wrong. That self-doubt isn't a side effect. It's the point.

In this episode:

What everyday sadism and sadistic behavior actually look like
Why your body registers danger before your mind can rationalize it away
The exact mechanics of how cruelty disguised as humor enables gaslighting and coercive control in narcissistic abuse
Why survivors are conditioned to question their own reactions and not their abuser's

For more on everyday sadism, be sure to check out Dr. Kerry’s interview with Joe Navarro.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How Dangerous Predators Hide Sadism in Plain Sight - Joe Navarro, Former FBI Agent

Mon, 20 Jul 2026 06:00:00 -0000

The most dangerous narcissists don’t go ballistic: they peck you to death.

After spending decades studying dangerous personalities, former FBI agent Joe Navarro has learned that the cruelest narcissistic abuse almost never looks the way we expect. It hides behind the withheld compliment, the public put-down disguised as a joke, the silent treatment and the affection that never comes.

In this conversation, Joe and Dr. Kerry McAvoy name the covert sadism living inside everyday relationships with a narcissist, and why it leaves lasting damage.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment

Want to go deeper?

In this Members-Only Interview — Joe walks through the practical steps to breaking free. Learn exactly the first step on how to get started. Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

JOE NAVARRO, a former FBI agent and one of the world's foremost authorities on reading human behavior, has spent his life learning to spot dangerous people before the rest of us see them coming. Recruited into the FBI at just 23 — one of the youngest agents ever — Joe spent 25 years in counterintelligence and counterterrorism, catching spies by decoding the nonverbal signals most people miss, and went on to train both FBI agents and the wider intelligence community in the science he helped refine. Since retiring from the Bureau in 2003, he has become a sought-after speaker, consultant, and author — including the landmark Dangerous Personalities — helping people everywhere recognize the predators hiding in plain sight.

Latest Book:

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Your Birthday Was Rigged to Fail: How Narcissists Sabotage Special Days

Thu, 16 Jul 2026 06:00:00 -0000

It's your special day. Your birthday. Maybe the narcissist participated in the build-out or maybe they pretended not to notice. But you knew. And you got your hopes up. Perhaps this birthday will go differently.

What you didn't expect was to spend the rest of your birthday managing their feelings.

In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry shares submitted accounts of birthdays that ended in tears, anniversaries engineered to fail, and being asked to comfort the person who hurt you.

This is the Thursday companion to Monday's episode, "Why Narcissists Destroy Your Best Days — It's Not Forgetfulness, It's Sadism," with psychotherapist Lynn Strathdee

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Narcissists Destroy Your Best Days — It's Not Forgetfulness, It's Sadism

Mon, 13 Jul 2026 06:00:00 -0000

The ruined birthday. The wrecked anniversary. The gift left in a drawer. It wasn't thoughtlessness.

Dr. Kerry sits down with psychodynamic psychotherapist Lynn Strathdee to break down one of the most painful — and least-named — patterns in narcissistic relationships: the deliberate destruction of special occasions.

Lynn identifies the core drive as pleasure at being the cause — a compulsion rooted in early development that, in character-disordered adults, becomes a form of covert manipulation. Your emotional pain isn't collateral damage. For a narcissist, it's the reward.

In this episode:

Why narcissists specifically target birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries
The "pleasure at being the cause" drive — and how it escalates on your best days
Dry begging: the manipulation tactic hiding in plain sight
How devaluation becomes a source of narcissistic supply
Why you kept making excuses — and what this pattern reveals about NPD

Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment

If the sabotage only makes sense in hindsight — can you learn to see it in real time?

Kerry and Lynn unpack the quieter signal most survivors train themselves to override: the "something feels a little off"whisper — and how to turn its volume up without becoming paranoid. Plus: the chat-history article that's been haunting Kerry about an ordinary couple, and what one partner had actually been thinking all along.

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

WEBSITE

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Narcissists Perfect at Hiding Cheating Because They Perfect at Lying to You

Thu, 09 Jul 2026 06:00:00 -0000

In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks the psychological damage done by narcissistic abuse, especially when you’re living with a partner who’s keeping a secret life.

Learn how cheaters use gaslighting, lies, and calculated reality distortion to conceal their betrayals. They want to make you question your own mind so completely that you stop listening to your instincts, destroying your self-trust.

If you've ever felt like you were going crazy, re-reading old texts to prove to yourself what was real, then you’ve experienced this kind of manipulation. And healing from narcissistic abuse begins when you discover your instincts were right all along.

This is the Thursday companion to Monday's interview with therapist Cheryl Camarillo, "Sexual Addiction Looks Nothing Like What You Think"

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

A Sex Addict's Deception Playbook: How Your Partner Hides a Double Life

Mon, 06 Jul 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Most people imagine they'd recognize a sex addict. But here’s the reality most survivors never realize: you were never meant to see it.

Sexual addictive behavior doesn’t look like deception or betrayal; it looks like distance, irritability, or a relationship going cold. You don’t realize you’re with someone who’s living a double life.

In this interview, Dr. Kerry sits down with therapist Cheryl Camarillo, who specializes in sexual addiction and toxic relationships. Together they break down the deception architecture a sex addict builds, how narcissistic traits fuel the compartmentalization, and why partners so often blame themselves before they ever suspect the truth.

It was never just about hiding an affair or a porn habit. It was about constructing a version of reality that kept you looking inward — at yourself — instead of at what was actually happening.

If you've ever felt something was deeply wrong in your relationship but couldn't name it, this episode will give you language for what you experienced.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment

Want to go deeper?

In the members-only Podcast Extra, learn the specific behavioral signs you’ll notice first. If you're wondering whether what you experienced was real, this is where you'll find your answer.

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

CHERYL CAMARILLO, a trauma-informed social worker demystifies the complexities of deep-seated trauma and offers a compassionate, real-world roadmap for individuals and families navigating life's heaviest struggles. As a social worker, consultant, and adoptive mother, Cheryl has spent decades on the front lines of human resilience. She brings her vast expertise to two critical, modern battlegrounds: sex therapy and sex addiction/partner betrayal trauma.

Website

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When the Car Becomes a Weapon: Real Stories of Narcissistic Road Rage

Thu, 02 Jul 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Abuse is something we imagine happens behind closed doors. For a lot of survivors, some of the most frightening moments happened not just in the home but in the passenger seat of a moving car.

In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry pulls directly from your comments and unpacks what each one reveals about how narcissists weaponize the car.

It was never about losing the narcissist losing their temper. It was about control. And if you've ever braced yourself just getting into the car with someone, you weren't imagining it.

This is the Thursday companion to Monday's episode with co-host Lynn Strathdee, "Road Rage & Other Terrifying Ways Narcissists Use Cars to Intimidate You."

To go deeper into what to actually do when you can't leave yet, be sure to check out the members-only Podcast Extra covers exactly that. Here's the link.

Have a story of your own? Share by contacting Dr. Kerry at clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Road Rage & Other Terrifying Ways Narcissists Use Cars to Intimidate You

Mon, 29 Jun 2026 06:00:00 -0000

If you've ridden in a car with a narcissist, then you've likely experienced them using their driving to intimidate, threaten, or scare you. People with narcissistic traits often use vehicles like a weapon, turning you into more of a hostage instead of a passenger.

This week, Dr. Kerry and co-host Lynn break down why road rage and narcissism frequently co-occur and how the car gets used for far more than just driving, i

If you've survived narcissistic abuse, want to watch the part we couldn't fit into the main episode? Become a paid Substack subscriber and learn:

What to actually do if you're experiencing narcissistic abuse but you can't leave yet
Why "how do I make them stop?" is the wrong first question,
Why grey rock can backfire behind the wheel
And the dangerous assumption nearly every survivor makes about their own safety.

Become a paid subscriber here and unlock your access today!

Website

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Your Body Knew Before Your Mind Did — Viewer Stories

Thu, 25 Jun 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Narcissistic abuse doesn't just affect your mind — it gets stored in the mind-body connection.

Do you have the kind of chronic pain no doctor can explain? Does it get worse the harder you try to fix it? Are you bracing, clenching, and shutting down without knowing what's wrong?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks how narcissistic abuse gets stored in the body, not just the mind. Want to learn more about healing from narcissistic abuse, check out Monday’s episode with Liz Tenuto, The Workout Witch. Watch it here: https://youtu.be/gM9h4GjITpc?si=BxsgI-eUXsrZzTuA

Have a story or realization you'd like Dr. Kerry to take on air? Send it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is Trauma Destroying Your Body? What Narcissistic Abuse Does to Your Health

Mon, 22 Jun 2026 06:00:00 -0000

What if the chronic pain, the exhaustion, and the sleepless nights aren’t because of stress, or you’re getting older, but because your body keeping the score of narcissistic abuse?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry sits down with somatic healing expert Liz Tenuto, as known The Workout Witch, to explored one of the most overlooked truths: abuse doesn't just impact your mind; it affects your body.

Learn why survivors get trapped in a constant state of fight-or-flight and the surprising reason that talk therapy and EMDR alone often aren't enough to finally heal.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Ready to go deeper?

🔹 Think the abuse never touched you physically? Find out the truth. In this members-only bonus, Liz walks Dr. Kerry through a simple body self-assessment to learn if you’re storing trauma. Learn the early warning signs before they turn chronic.

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

LIZ TENUTO (known to her millions of followers as The Workout Witch) demystifies somatic healing and offers a compassionate, science-backed roadmap for anyone struggling with the physical aftermath of stress and trauma. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and an abusive marriage, Liz spent years battling chronic pain, anxiety, and insomnia. She cycled through countless healing trends before discovering the life- changing power of somatics. Today, Liz is a trauma informed practitioner with a degree in psychology, 15 years of teaching experience, and advanced training in somatic movement through Pilates, Reiki, and 6 years of Feldenkrais mentorship with Augusta Moore.

Website

Book: When the Body Speaks: How Somatic Healing Sets You Free

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

4 Ways Narcissists Use Your Name to Control and Dehumanize You

Thu, 18 Jun 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Why has the person who claimed to love you gone years without once saying your name — not even once?

When a narcissist won't say your name, it isn't a quirk. It's name erasure: a slow, deliberate way of treating you as less than a full person.

In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry reads real survivor stories and unpacks four ways the same tactic shows up. Each one is a covert control tactic, and together they're a form of withholding affection most survivors don't recognize as emotional abuse until much later.

You'll learn how to read what someone's use of your name reveals about how they actually see you, and why these small omissions add up to something far bigger than rudeness.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Narcissists Use Pet Names Instead of Calling You by Your Real Name

Mon, 15 Jun 2026 06:00:00 -0000

What if the sweet pet name your partner calls you isn't affection at all — but rather designed to keep you off balance?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry and co-host Lynn Strathdee unpack one of the strangest and most overlooked patterns in narcissistic relationships: the use of pet names.

Learn why some narcissists even speak about themselves in the third person, and the chilling moment when a "compliment" reveals exactly what they really think of you.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment

Want to go deeper?

🔹 What does it actually take to heal when the abuse has shaped how you see yourself? In this members-only bonus, Lynn and Dr. Kerry discuss why recovery requires building a stronger sense of self.

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

WEBSITE

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

You've Been Brainwashed! How Manipulators Train You to Never Leave

Thu, 11 Jun 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Were you brainwashed to stay — and didn't even know it?

A cult doesn't need a compound, robes, or a manifesto. All it needs is two people: one who sets the rules and one who lives by them.

Dr. Kerry reads your most powerful wake-up moments — from the woman who recognized every cult trait laid down in the first three months of a nine-year relationship, to the viewer who grew up in a home where productivity meant safety, to the one who finally had a word for what she'd survived: brainwashed.

This isn't about missing the signs. It's about a system that was designed to make coercive control feel like love, devotion, and belonging. Have you been struggling to leave? Stop asking why you didn't see it sooner. Start asking if you were trained not to.

📩 Want Dr. Kerry to read your story on air?

Email your question to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Born into a Cult. Then Married a Narcissist. Is Coercive Control Stealing Your Life?

Mon, 08 Jun 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Were you born into a cult — or did you unknowingly marry one?

If you've ever felt trapped, controlled, and unable to trust your own reality — whether in a religion, a family system, or a relationship — you may have been living inside a cult of two.

Narcissistic abuse operates through the same coercive control and psychological manipulation that keep cult members from ever questioning their reality.

Brooke Deanne, trauma healing mentor and author of Shattered, Broken and Beautiful, joins Dr. Kerry to share her remarkable survivor's story: 36 years inside a high-control religious cult, followed by 17 years married to a narcissist. Discover the chilling similarities between coercive control in relationships and cult indoctrination that make narcissistic abuse so hard to name.

Coercive control doesn't always look like abuse — sometimes it looks like devotion, duty, and belonging.

PODCAST EXTRA — EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

🔹 If you've been in a narcissistic relationship, how do you finally release the shame? In this members-only bonus, discover Brooke Deanna’s full healing steps.

BROOKE DEANNE is a Trauma Healing Mentor, Rapid Transformational Therapist (RTT), and NLP Practitioner empowering female survivors of abuse and trauma to reclaim their lives by rewriting their stories via a holistic approach to access new levels of mind, body, and spirit integration. After overcoming her history of abuse as an ex-Jehovah’s Witness and toxic relationships, Brooke brings profound insight to her work as an advocate against religious abuse and domestic violence.

Website
Books: Shattered, Broken, & Beautiful - Losing My Religion and Finding Faith
Children’s Book: The Grief Monster
Podcast: The Cult Diaries

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

You Saw the Red Flags and Stayed Anyway. Here’s the Real Reason Why

Thu, 04 Jun 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Why can you spot every red flag, name every tactic, and still find yourself in another toxic relationship?

A commenter recently wrote that she had been raised by three narcissists, married to one, dated another for five years, recently lost a friendship to one, and a former partner just resurfaced. She wrapped up by saying “the law of averages can't explain it. So what can?”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks why insight alone never sets survivors free.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Nobody Taught Us What a Healthy Relationship Looks Like — Here's the Cost

Mon, 01 Jun 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Nobody taught us what a healthy relationship should feel like. Not in school. Not in graduate training. Not in the culture we grew up in.

And that missing lesson? It's costing survivors years of confusion, repeat heartbreak, and an obsession with understanding the very people who harmed them.

This week marks a major shift for Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse. After a year of flying solo, Dr. Kerry welcomes Lynn Strathdee as her new co-host — a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist, echoism specialist, and survivor whose path to this work mirrors so many of yours.

Inside this episode:

How Kerry and Lynn met through echoism — and why their shared focus on the survivor's inner world changes everything
How free, violent porn rewired intimacy into rage
The Predator's Playbook: cobras, pit bulls, and the deliberate targeting of survivors (Get your copy of the Predator's A-Z Playbook here!)
Why you can't stop talking about the abuser

🔹 PODCAST EXTRA — MEMBERS-ONLY BONUS SEGMENT

Why does studying the abuser feel productive but actually keep you stuck?

In this exclusive bonus, Lynn and Dr. Kerry break down the difference between understanding your abuser and healing from them — and the one shift that moves you from analysis to recovery.

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

Lynn’s Website

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Alpine Divorce: When Narcissistic Abuse Turns Physically Dangerous

Thu, 28 May 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Have you heard of an Alpine Divorce?

During a listener’s two-year marriage to a psychopath, her husband took her hiking and then left her clinging to a rock in gale-force winds while he filmed her terror and laughed. This is what’s commonly called an "Alpine Divorce."

It is also an example of malignant sadism.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks one of the most chilling tactics in a dangerous personality's playbook.

Learn how some abusers engineer life-threatening situations to trap their victims in forced dependency. Also, learn how environmental gaslighting (the weaponized use of weather, terrain, and wilderness) gives these dangerous individuals plausible deniability.

If you or someone you know has experienced this:

▸ Be sure to preserve the photos and videos as digital evidence of criminal behavior

▸ Consider seeking out a CPTSD-specialized clinician

▸ And the only safe path is total severance

Submit Your Question

If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Narcissists Are Waging a Secret War Against You: 5 Dark Psychology Experts Expose Their Tactics

Mon, 25 May 2026 06:00:00 -0000

As we honor Memorial Day, there's another war, something that rages invisible, deliberate, and inside the most intimate relationships. This episode is dedicated to you.

In this special compilation, 5 world-class experts answer the questions survivors ask most:

How did I end up here? Why didn't I see it coming? And why was I the one chosen?

Discover how narcissists and dangerous personalities identify, groom, and trap their targets — and why your kindness, not your weakness, made you vulnerable to narcissistic abuse.

Enjoy a full complimentary Substack newsletter this week.

EXPERTS FEATURED
• Joe Navarro — Former FBI Special Agent & Author (Dangerous Personalities)
• Dr. Peter Salerno — Psychologist & Author
• Don Hennessy — Irish Psychotherapist & Author (How He Gets Into Her Head)
• Dr. Leslie Dobson — Clinical & Forensic Psychologist
• Dr. Peter Favaro — Forensic Psychologist & Author

#NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissistRecovery #EmotionalAbuse #CPTSD #DangerousPersonalities #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #Narcissism #ToxicRelationship

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Your Kids May Have Blamed You for the Narcissist's Abuse — and What to Do Now

Thu, 21 May 2026 06:00:00 -0000

A listener from Texas writes in: after escaping a narcissistic marriage, her adult daughter is now demanding that she admit that she was an abuser too.

How does she reach her daughter now?

In this episode, Dr Kerry unpacks one of the most painful and least-talked-about consequences of narcissistic abuse — what happens to your children when you stay. How do you hold two devastating truths at the same time: you were a victim, and your child was hurt by your inability to leave?

Submit Your Question

If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Childhood Neglect: The Hidden Damage From Narcissistic Families That Follows You Into Every Relationship

Mon, 18 May 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Did you experience childhood neglect? If you keep repeating painful patterns in your relationships — choosing wrong partners, feeling invisible, never asking for what you need — this might be why.

Dr. Rachna Buxani, author of "Unseen," joins Dr. Kerry to expose the hidden roles children are assigned in narcissistic family systems — and the lasting damage those roles leave behind in every relationship you'll ever have.

Childhoos neglect doesn’t stay in childhood — it follows you.

PODCAST EXTRA — EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT
🔹 Were you the invisible child — and do you even know it yet?

Find Dr. Buxani's specific, practical steps for healing from childhood narcissistic abuse in the members-only bonus segment and weekly newsletter.

DR. RACHNA BUXANI-MIRPURI is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and National Certified Counselor with over 23 years of experience across the United States, Dubai, and the Cayman Islands. Known for her compassionate, culturally sensitive approach, she specializes in trauma, family dysfunction, and identity development. She is the founder of Buxani Counseling Care in Miami, a mental health advocate, and a board member of NAMI Miami-Dade. Her work extends to prisons, schools, and underserved communities, reflecting her deep commitment to accessible, inclusive care.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The Real Reason You Can't Stop Snooping on Your Narcissistic Partner

Thu, 14 May 2026 06:00:00 -0000

A YouTube viewer asks: What about someone's makeup drives them to snoop instead of simply addressing the red flags?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry digs deeper into a question raised in the February 19, 2026, Fan Mail segment, Feeling the Urge to Snoop on Your Partner? Here's What It's Really Telling You. Learn why victims of narcissistic abuse feel compelled to hunt for proof and why it never brings the relief you're looking for.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Dreading Their Next Message? How to Stop the Toxicity With a Narcissistic Co-Parent

Mon, 11 May 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Are you bracing for impact when your phone buzzes?

Does every conversation turn into a nasty fight?

This week, Sol Kennedy joins Dr. Kerry to reveal why co-parenting is never get better when dealing with a narcissistic or an emotionally immature co-parent.

Learn why courts don't understand narcissistic co-parents will never become reasonable and why most co-parenting apps only make the conflict worse. Sol Kennedy shares how to take back control by changing the entire dynamic.

List of the latest AI Tools for Narcissistic Abuse survivors

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

🔹 You can divorce a spouse — but you can't quit your co-parent. In this members-only bonus, Sol Kennedy goes deeper on how to set firm limits on when and how often your ex can reach you.

SOL KENNEDY is a technology entrepreneur and co-parenting advocate who built the first AI-powered co-parenting app after navigating his own high-conflict divorce. BestInterest has earned the backing of renowned narcissism expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula and is now used by co-parents, family law professionals, and therapists across the U.S. and Canada. Sol also hosts the podcast Co-Parenting Beyond Conflict.

FOLLOW SOL KENNEDY

Website

Podcast: Co-Parenting Beyond Conflict

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

5 Years of Stalking Hell After an Interaction With a Neighbor

Thu, 07 May 2026 06:00:00 -0000

What happens when a simple, healthy boundary triggers five years of stalking, dismantling your life?

A viewer declined an odd social interaction with a neighbor that then sparked a stalking campaign that has followed her and her 15-year-old daughter across state lines. Learn what’s called "street theater” and how these repeated tactics were ussd to make this victim sound crazy.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains:

• Why the public tends to dismiss extreme gang stalking stories

• How stalking can be carried out across states and social circles

• How to protect yourself and your sanity if you’re being stalking.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Confessions of a Womanizer: "How I Became a Narcissist's Perfect Victim"

Mon, 04 May 2026 06:00:00 -0000

What happens when the man who spent years love bombing and manipulating women becomes the victim of the very same tactics?

This week, Wade Belair joins Dr. Kerry for a raw, unflinching conversation about the shocking overlap between closeted men and narcissistic abuse — and what genuine healing actually requires.

Wade grew up the privileged son of an iconic retail brand founder — raised in an elite, hyper-masculine culture where conquest was currency, and vulnerability was weakness. He played the role perfectly for years: closeted, love bombing women, while living a dangerous double life.

Now openly gay and two years out of a narcissistic abuse relationship, Wade speaks candidly about what it looks like when repression mimics narcissism and what real change actually requires.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

🔹 Are you dating a man living a double life — and missing all the signs?

In this members-only bonus, Wade and Dr. Kerry break down exactly what to watch for in a man who may be closeted or on the DL, and why the red flags so often get buried under love bombing.

More About Wade: Instagram

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The Dark Truth About Growing Up Without a Mother’s Love

Thu, 30 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0000

A listener from Australia writes in: "l have been jealous of women who are loved unconditionally because being raised by a mother who cannot or does not love you, fully and completely without condition, entangles every aspect of you until many women are seething with anger, confusion, and hate."

In this episode, Kerry McAvoy, PhD explores why the mother wound - the emotional neglect left by a mother who withheld unconditional love - runs so deep. Whether your mother was narcissistic, emotionally unavailable, or simply unable to love fully, the childhood trauma it creates shapes your identity, your relationships, and your self-worth.

That jealousy you feel toward women with loving mothers? It may actually be grief in disguise.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why We Fail to See the Warning Signs When Women Become Dangerous (feat. Anna Motz)

Mon, 27 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Why are we more afraid of a violent woman than a violent man, even though men commit the vast majority of violent crimes?

This week, forensic and clinical psychologist Anna Motz joins Dr. Kerry to pull back the curtain on one of society's most carefully avoided truths: women are capable of real violence, and we've been trained not to see it.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

🔹 What are the warning signs that a woman is moving toward danger — and why do we keep missing them? In this members-only bonus, Anna and Dr. Kerry break down exactly what to look for and why our instincts fail us.

ANNA MOTZ is a consultant clinical and forensic psychologist with decades of experience working with violent women in prisons, secure units, and child protection settings across the UK. She is the author of If Love Could Kill: The Myths and Truths About Women Who Commit Violence.

Book: If Love Could Kill: The Myths and Truths of Women Who Commit Violence:

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When You Finally Leave—Why a Narcissist Becomes a "Monster”

Thu, 23 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0000

If you're experiencing betrayal trauma after discovering your spouse's secret life, how do you finally leave a long-term narcissistic partner without triggering their rage?

A listener from the US writes in, "We've been in and out of therapy for 7 years trying to save our marriage. Two months ago I found out he wasn't sober again. I left and I'm now living with my mother. How do I get out without him turning into a monster? I need strength. I need to be done."

In this episode, Kerry McAvoy, PhD explains why leaving a long-term narcissistic relationship feels nearly impossible. Learn the practical steps to protect yourself legally, financially, and emotionally as you finally walk away for good.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Keep Finding Yourself in the Same Toxic Relationships? How to Break the Pattern

Mon, 20 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Have you ever looked back at your relationships and realized they all feel disturbingly familiar?

That's not a coincidence — it's your relationship blueprint at work.

This week, therapist, bestselling author of Why Do I Keep Doing This?, and mental health YouTuber Kati Morton joins Dr. Kerry to break down why so many of us keep repeating toxic relationship patterns — and what it actually takes to rewrite them. Together, they unpack the attachment theory, childhood blueprints, people-pleasing dynamics, and trauma bonding that keep you stuck in cycles you can't explain.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

🔹 Why do certain people expect you to manage their emotions for them — and never learn to do it themselves? In this members-only bonus, Kati and Dr. Kerry flip the dynamic and explore the other side of the pattern.

KATI MORTON is a licensed marriage and family therapist, bestselling author, and one of YouTube's most trusted voices in mental health. Her newest book, Why Do I Keep Doing This, is her most personal yet — a candid look at her own healing journey and the relational patterns she's had to confront in her own life. She also hosts the weekly podcast Ask Kati Anything.

FOLLOW KATI MORTON

Website
YouTube
Instagram
TikTok
Podcast: Ask Kati Anything
Book: Why Do I Keep Doing This? Unlearn the Habits Keeping You Stuck and Unhappy

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is Your Partner Hiding Money? How Narcissists Use Finances to Control You

Thu, 16 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Why does a partner hide money, and is it always a sign of financial abuse?

A viewer from the US writes in, "He is very good at hiding money using apps and credit cards. How do I find out what he's hiding?"

In this episode, Dr. Kerry breaks down the difference between financial secrecy and financial abuse and how to reclaim your power in an unsafe relationship.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Covert Narcissists Always Make You Feel Guilty (Even When You've Done Nothing Wrong)

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Covert narcissism (NPD) is the hardest form of narcissistic abuse to identify — and the most damaging.

Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling like you did something wrong — even though you can't quite explain what?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy sits down with Dr. Anthony Mazzella (The Narcissism Decoder) to break down exactly how covert narcissists use guilt and victimhood to keep you trapped.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

🔹 Think you might already be in one of these relationships? Dr. Mazzella and Dr. Kerry walk you through the internal warning signs — including the FOG of Fear, Obligation, and Guilt.

DR. ANTHONY MAZZELLA is a psychotherapist & psychoanalyst, educator, and podcaster who conducts research and lectures across the country. While his focus with his patients is psychodynamic in nature, his main goals are to build a trusting relationship and help each patient reduce the frequency and intensity of their emotional painful thoughts and suffering. He helps his patients overcome both acute and long-standing problems that may be more imbedded in their personality.

FOLLOW DR. MAZZELLA

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Narcissists Always Make Their Victims Look Unhinged

Thu, 09 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Why does the person who calls out a narcissist end up looking like the unhinged one?

A Facebook follower writes in, "Why does the person recognizing and confronting the narcissistic behavior often appear unhinged to everyone else?" In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why narcissists always appear calm and credible while their victims come across as unstable.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The #1 Mistake People Make When Divorcing a Narcissist

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Are you walking into your divorce expecting the court to finally see the truth about your narcissistic ex?

This week, divorce attorney Hannah Bell Hembree joins Dr. Kerry to pull back the curtain on what really happens in the courtroom when you're leaving a narcissist. With nearly two decades of legal experience and her own custody battle behind her, Hannah shares the hard truths every survivor needs to hear before they file.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

🔹 Is the court biased against men — or women? In this members-only bonus, Hannah Bell Hembree gives her candid, real-world take on courtroom bias. Her answer may surprise you.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview

MORE ABOUT HANNAH BELL HEMBREE

Podcast: Not Saving It for Later

Community & Free Divorce Prep Course

Instagram: @HannahHembreeBell

HANNAH BELL HEMBREE is a divorce attorney based in Austin, Texas, where she leads a firm of nearly 50 people dedicated to helping marriages end well. She is also the founder of the My Confident Life Circle, an online community supporting women through divorce and beyond, and the host of the new podcast Not Saving It for Later. Drawing on her own experience navigating divorce and two custody modifications, Hannah equips women with the practical strategies and mindset shifts they need to protect their kids, their money, and their sanity.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How to Help a Friend Who Can't Walk Away from a Narcissistic Relationship

Thu, 02 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0000

My best friend divorced her narcissistic ex two months ago — but she keeps talking to him, then ignoring him, then reaching out again. She says she wants to move on, but she can't seem to break the cycle.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why leaving a narcissist doesn't automatically break the trauma bond — and what's really driving the painful push-pull your friend can't escape. Learn how to support someone you love through this without shaming, lecturing, or pushing them further away.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use the link in the show notes.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The Scary Reason Why Gaslighting Actually Works (And You’re a Part of the Problem)

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Have you ever tried to walk away from a toxic person, only to find yourself right back in the middle of their reality?

This week, Dr. Robin Stern (author of The Gaslight Effect) joins Dr. Kerry for a conversation that will change how you view manipulation. Most people think gaslighting is just about lying—but the truth is much darker. It’s a "relational mess" that requires two people to function.

Previous Interviews with Dr. Stern

What's wrong with me? The Power of Gaslighting to Confuse and Control: Interview with Dr. Robin Stern

Breaking Chains: Dr. Kerry McAvoy's Triumph Over Marital Gaslighting and Narcissism

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Dr. Stern shares the shift that breaks the cycle for good: "Don't allow somebody to matter more than you matter."

In this members-only bonus, Dr. Stern and Dr. Kerry unpack how to stay open and connected in relationships without surrendering yourself in the process.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview

DR. STERN'S BOOKS

• The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life: https://amzn.to/4b50aRu

• The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide: https://amzn.to/40qzc0B

MORE ABOUT DR. ROBIN STERN

Dr. Robin Stern, Ph.D., is a licensed psychoanalyst, Co-Founder and Senior Advisor to the Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, and one of the world's leading authorities on gaslighting. She is the author of The Gaslight Effect and host of The Gaslight Effect Podcast.

Website: robinstern.com

Podcast: The Gaslight Effect Podcast (available on all platforms)

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Do Narcissists Enjoy Hurting You? Here's Dr. Kerry's Hard Truth

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Why does someone who divorces a narcissist keep going back to them?

A listener writes in, “My best friend divorced her narcissistic ex two months ago — but she keeps talking to him, then ignoring him, then reaching out again. She says she wants to move on, but she can't seem to break the cycle.”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why leaving a narcissist doesn't automatically break the trauma bond and why survivors struggle to escape.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.

Follow on Apple

Follow on Spotify

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How to Tell You've Met a Narcissist: Coach Dan Ratner's Best Sniff Test

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Have you ever felt completely drained after spending time with certain people in your life?

This week, Coach Dan Ratner joins Dr. Kerry to explore the hidden world of emotional vampires: the 12 types of energy-draining people we all have in our lives and why narcissists are the most dangerous of them all. Dan shares his powerful KEEPER framework for identifying who truly deserves a place in your life.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Already know you have an emotional vampire in your life? Here's what to do next.

Coach Dan breaks down practical strategies for managing toxic people you can't simply cut out — from family members to coworkers — and how to protect your emotional energy without blowing everything up.

DANIEL RATNER is a relationship coach, speaker, and author helping people build healthier connections by recognizing draining patterns and setting stronger boundaries. A former entrepreneur turned personal growth expert, he is the author of Infinite Marriage and The Ten Secrets to a Passionate Marriage, with his upcoming book, Emotional Vampires, teaching readers how to protect their happiness from toxic people. Through his coaching, books, and public talks, Daniel provides clear, practical tools for improving self-esteem, cultivating "keepers," and creating relationships that fuel joy.

GET HIS BOOK
Emotional Vampires: How to Protect Your Happiness from People Who Will Suck You Dry

FOLLOW COACH RATNER
• Website
• Instagram
• YouTube
• TikTok

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

My Brother Is Stealing My Mother's Final Years & She Refuses to Stop Him

Thu, 19 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Take the Toxic or Troubled? Quiz and get specialized help for your specific situation. https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/toxic-troubled-survey

My 62-year-old narcissistic brother moved in with my 86-year-old mother "temporarily" after his divorce six years ago. Now she's suffocating, the rest of the family stays away, and she won't let anyone intervene.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why some mothers choose guilt over peace — and what to do when someone refuses to set healthy relationship limits for themselves. Learn how to protect your own nervous system while supporting a parent who is trapped by fear, obligation, and guilt.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.

Follow on Apple

Follow on Spotify

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Want to Spot Red Flags the First Time You Meet? How Abusers Reveal Themselves Through Their Words, Featuring Dr. Jennie Young

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0000

Ever ignored a gut feeling on a date because you wanted to "give him a chance"?

This week, Dr. Jennie Young — PhD linguist and creator of the viral Burned Haystack Dating Method — reveals how the words men use in dating profiles and early messages expose exactly who they are before you've even met.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Dr. Young breaks down the top 5 most dangerous rhetorical patterns — with real examples from actual dating profiles — including "test and apologize," cult leader language, threats disguised as preferences, and the "blue ribbon for bare minimum" that's almost always a red flag.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview

THE BOOK

Burn the Haystack: Decode Dating, Torch the Duds, and Make Room for Men Who Matter by Dr. Jennie Young

MORE ABOUT DR. JENNIE YOUNG

Dr. Jennie Young is a college professor with a PhD in rhetoric and discourse studies and a specialization in critical discourse analysis — the study of how language reveals what speakers don't want you to know. After applying her expertise to online dating, she built a 250,000-member Facebook group (Burn Haystack Dating Method) entirely by word of mouth.

Follow her on Instagram: @word_case_scenario

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What to Do When You Can't Leave: How to Protect Yourself from a Coercive Partner

Thu, 12 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0000

My husband forces sex on me, erupts in rage, and his wealthy family would never believe me — and I don't think I can leave.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why you can't make an unsafe person safe through effort alone — and why that means your only real lever is increasing your own protection. Learn a practical two-stage framework to manage this impossible situation.

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If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.

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Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Am I Not Getting Better? The Hidden CPTSD Symptoms That Can Stall Your Healing

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0000

You've done the work. Read the books. Tried the strategies. So why aren't you healing?

This week, survivor and educator Ellen Tift reveals the hidden CPTSD symptoms quietly keeping you stuck—and why naming them might be the most powerful thing you can do.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Ellen dives deep into the little-known difference between existential shame and existential humiliation—and why survivors often feel ashamed just for existing.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview

THE BOOK

There's a Word for That by Ellen Tift (Available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited)

MORE ABOUT ELLEN TIFT

Ellen Tift is a 30-year university educator and CPTSD survivor who turned her own healing journey into a comprehensive recovery resource. Her book breaks down the invisible symptoms of complex trauma into plain-English chapters—each with practical strategies and real-life scripts.

• Website

• Instagram

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Watch Out for These 7 Empathy Weaponization Tactics That Will Trap You

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Have you heard, ‘If you truly understood me, you'd give me what I want?”

This week's Fan Mail comes from a listener in Sweden who asks Dr. Kerry to explain how empathy gets weaponized.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry breaks down the 5 types of empathy (affective, cognitive, compassionate, somatic, and perspective-taking) and explains why having empathy doesn't make someone safe.

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Submit Your Question

If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Did They Pick You? The Trait in ‘Good’ People Narcissists Love to Exploit

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Why do narcissists target good, empathetic people in relationships?

This week, forensic psychologist Dr. Peter Favaro reveals why being a good person might actually make you MORE vulnerable to narcissists—and how that one irrational belief creates the exact confusion toxic people exploit.

Wondering if you met a “bad person?” Find out with this free gift from Dr. Kerry!

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Dr. Favaro breaks down the ABC model of cognitive behavior therapy—and shows you exactly how to break free from the "500 chances" trap.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview

THE BOOK:

Bad People Bible by Dr. Peter Favaro

MORE ABOUT DR. PETER FAVARO

Dr. Peter Favaro is a forensic psychologist with decades of experience in high-conflict custody cases and international child abduction cases. He's authored 21 books, including Bad People Bible, Anger Management, and upcoming titles Foundation and a book on mindfulness.

Dr. Favaro’s Teachable site: cihr.teachable.com

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Narcissists Follow You When You Move Away—And How to Create Distance That Actually Works

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 11:00:00 -0000

My narcissistic brother is relocating to town after I moved away to escape him—why is he doing this?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why narcissists will often close the gap when there’s physical distance. How do you gain psychological distance when you can't move away? She also offers helpful strategies for creating boundaries when distance fails.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.

Follow on Apple

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Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Struggling with Post-Separation Abuse? Get Real Help from a Surprising Direction

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Are you struggling with post-separation abuse and drowning in documentation?

This week, Anne Wintemute introduces AimeeSays—an AI tool that helps abuse survivors make sense of chaos, document their experience, and present their story in a way family court will actually hear.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Anne reveals how to use AI to document abuse to overcome the victim-blaming that happens when overly emotional in court.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview

THE TOOL

• AimeeSays (A-I-M-E-E Says) - Start free chat or subscribe

MORE ABOUT ANNE WINTEMUTE

Anne K Wintemute built AimeeSays after years of witnessing post-separation abuse survivors carry impossible burdens—forced to understand their trauma AND convince others of it. Her AI tool helps survivors document abuse, extract key events automatically, and transform emotional chaos into fact-based reports that courts can't dismiss.

• Social: Find AimeeSays on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Feeling the Urge to Snoop on Your Partner? Here's What It's Really Telling You

Thu, 19 Feb 2026 07:00:00 -0000

"I found proof he was cheating—but was snooping really what I needed to finally leave?”

This week's Fan Mail comes from a listener in Dublin, CA, who, after reading Dr. Kerry's book "Love You More," recognized her own relationship mirrored Dr. Kerry's experience, including the urge to snoop.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why the urge to snoop is actually all the evidence you need that something's wrong and why finding "proof" never actually breaks the cognitive dissonance.

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Submit Your Question

If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How Narcissists Trap You: A New Movie Shows Gaslighting & Coercive Control

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Ever wonder why narcissists feel impossible to leave—even when you know something's wrong?

This week, filmmakers Ali & Stefanie Schmahl reveal how their docu-fiction hybrid "I Love You My Narcissist" portrays what no other film has: the internal experience of being slowly trapped by someone you love.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Ali and Stefanie take you behind the scenes—revealing what it takes to tell stories with your heart.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview

THE FILM

• I Love You My Narcissist (ILYMN)

• Pre-register for watch party

• Trailer

MORE ABOUT ALI & STEFANIE SCHMAHL

Ali Schmahl (Director) and Stefanie Schmahl (Producer/Actress) are Berlin-based independent filmmakers who created "I Love You My Narcissist"—a groundbreaking docu-fiction hybrid featuring expert interviews with Dr. Kerry McAvoy, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, Lisa Sonni, and others.

• Website: ilymn.film

• Social: @ilymn.film on TikTok and Instagram

————

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When Your Abuser Won't Leave and Won't Change: Here's Your Options

Thu, 12 Feb 2026 07:00:00 -0000

"My abusive partner refuses to leave or get help—and I'm trapped in a 'silent divorce.' What are my actual options?"

This week's Fan Mail question comes from a YouTube listener navigating an impossible situation: a long marriage, adult children, religious pressure against divorce, and an abusive partner who wants to maintain the status quo without doing any of the work to change.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry untangles the confusion between church annulment and legal separation, explains why staying together without changing is still a form of abuse.

---

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why You’re Struggling to Feel Empathy for Yourself — Tammy Triolo

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Lost empathy for yourself? You've already lost the fight.

This week, Tammy Triolo reveals the shocking connection between self-empathy loss and narcissistic abuse.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Tammy walks you through recognizing when thoughts are just thoughts—not truth—and how to stop surrendering to negative beliefs.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview

TAMMY'S BOOKS

• The Empathy Gap: It Is Black and White

• Workbook

MORE ABOUT TAMMY TRIOLO

Tammy Triolo is a cultural strategist, author, and creator of the Empathy Scorecard. As founder of PCQ Consulting, she works with companies to improve culture and develop sustainable DEI initiatives.

• Website: tammytriolo.com

• Social: @tammytriolo on TikTok and Instagram

• Podcast: The Empathy Lab (Substack)

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Gaslit by Your Doctor? Why Healthcare Attracts Narcissists and How to Protect Yourself

Thu, 05 Feb 2026 07:00:00 -0000

“My doctor keeps telling me it's all in my head—but I know something's wrong. Why won't they listen?"

This week's Fan Mail question comes from a podcast listener who writes: "Dear Kerry, could you do a podcast on the topic of narcissism, psychopathy and healthcare?…”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry breaks down why healthcare settings attract people who crave power and control, how the doctor-patient dynamic creates dangerous vulnerability, and why women are especially at risk of medical dismissal.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Dr Kerry’s Resources

ReclaimYou: AI-powered coaching app built on Dr. Kerry’s experience.
The Complete Recovery Collection: Educational resources for narcissistic abuse healing
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
The Toxic-Free Relationship Club: coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

You’ve Been Made to Think It’s Your Fault: The Truth About Predatory Behavior

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Ever wonder why you didn't see it coming?

This week, Don Hennessy joins Dr. Kerry to expose the hidden playbook male predators use to infiltrate your mind—without you knowing it happened. We unpack the shocking truth about what predators are actually really after.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Hennessy breaks down the grooming steps you never saw coming.

Don reveal why 75% of people think "it couldn't happen to me.”

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview

HENNESSY’S BOOKS

MORE ABOUT DON HENNESSY

Don Hennessy is an Irish psychotherapist and author who spent decades working directly with abusive men and their partners. He’s at work writing his fourth book.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Does Narcissism Come and Go? Why Narcissists Seem Better & Then Suddenly Aren't

Thu, 29 Jan 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Does Narcissism Come and Go? What "Good Periods" With a Narcissist Really Mean

This week's Fan Mail question comes from a listener in Dubai who writes: "Can narcissism in a person wax and wane? There's been years when my husband was acting like a narcissist, and then there's also been chunks of years where he's been incredibly supportive and uplifting. Can a narcissist change depending on their current situation?"

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why narcissistic behavior can absolutely shift between good and bad periods and what those changes really means.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like your question addressed on air, send it here:

👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail__

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Coercive Control: How It Steals Your Freedom (Before You Even Realize It) — Dr. Christine Cocchiola

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Slowly losing control in your relationship—but can't quite put your finger on what's happening?

This week, Dr. Christine Cocchiola breaks down coercive control as the invisible foundation beneath all abuse.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Think you might be losing yourself, but not sure how to tell?

Dr. C provides the "identity assessment" you need and how to spot the difference between healthy anger and weaponized emotion.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview

MORE ABOUT DR. CHRISTINE COCCHIOLA

Website or https://www.iknowyourheart.com
Podcast: Perfect Prey
Social Media: @cocchiola

DR. CHRISTINE COCCHIOLA is a leading expert on coercive control, protective parenting, and family court abuse. After surviving 27 years and 11 months with an abuser despite being a trained professional who taught about domestic violence, she now dedicates her work to helping others recognize the invisible tactics that strip autonomy. Dr. C specializes in supporting protective parents navigating family court.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Narcissist vs. Narcissist: What Happens When These Two Toxic Personalities Match-Up

Thu, 22 Jan 2026 07:00:00 -0000

"My coworker is a narcissist—and so is our boss. What happens when two narcissists have to work together?"

This week's Fan Mail question comes from a YouTube listener who writes: "Thank you for all your content! Very helpful. I am curious to know - what tends to happen when 'a narcissist meets a narcissist' - meaning they are introduced to each other, are coworkers or need to cooperate with each other in some way or even end up being partners? Are there any patterns to or are there typical characteristics/outcomes to this dynamic? Might they not be aware that they are both narcissists?"

In this episode, Dr. Kerry breaks down what really happens when two highly narcissistic people enter each other's orbit—whether they fast-bond over shared grandiosity, descend into brutal competition for dominance, or manage an ice-cold alliance for mutual benefit. She explains the collusion-to-competition pipeline, why narcissistic couples can look magnetic but feel exhausting, and why most narcissists will never see themselves the way they see each other.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like your question addressed on air, send it here:

👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Gone No Contact? Why Some Parents Have to Push Away Their Kids

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Why do loving parents sometimes push away the very children they'd do anything for?

This week, Catherine Hickem joins Dr. Kerry to unpack one of the most painful dynamics in modern families—parental estrangement. We explore how unspoken expectations create invisible walls, why parents mistake control for connection, and how grief work (yes, grief work) is the secret to letting your adult children become who they actually are, not who you needed them to be.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Stuck waiting for certainty before you leave?

Catherine and Dr. Kerry tackle the cognitive dissonance trap—why you'll never feel "ready" to go, how to make the hardest decision of your life without clarity, and why almost no one regrets leaving once they finally do.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

MORE ABOUT CATHERINE HICKEM

Website: https://www.parentingadultchildrentoday.com
TikTok: @parentingadultchildrentd
Email: catherine@parentingadultchildrentoday.com

CATHERINE HICKEM, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, executive and family coach, and founder of Parenting Adult Children Today. With over 40 years of experience and a master's degree in clinical social work from the University of Louisville, Catherine has dedicated her career to helping parents navigate the often-overlooked complexities of raising adult children. She is the author of Regret-Free Parenting and specializes in estrangement recovery, teaching parents how to release expectations, grieve unmet dreams, and rebuild relationships grounded in acceptance rather than control.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is It Really Estrangement… Or Is Your Toxic Ex Playing Parental Alienation Games?

Thu, 15 Jan 2026 07:00:00 -0000

A listener pushes back and asks, "How do we know the parent claiming alienation isn't actually the abuser manipulating the narrative?"

When a child rejects contact with a parent after separation, is it parental alienation or justified estrangement?

In this week's fan mail, a listener pushes back with a challenge about a previous episode that aired October 16, 2025, titled "Why Does My Ex Always Blame Me When the Kids Want Nothing to Do with Him?" This listener wanted to know how to tell when the person complaining about a toxic co-parent isn't actually the abuser.

Dr. Kerry unpacks the difference between alienation and estrangement, and what "fostering a relationship" actually means when required by a custody agreement.

Got a question or pushback? Send it via the link below or email clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Devastated After Betrayal? Here's Why: The Hidden Abuse That No One Talks About

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Ever wonder why betrayal feels so devastating—like more than just cheating?

This week, Hope Ray joins Dr. Kerry to introduce the concept of betrayal violence: the intersection of infidelity and abuse that most people don't recognize. We explore how sexual secrets strip partners of their consent and autonomy.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 When you're the victim: How do you know if you have the whole truth? Hope shares practical guidance on finding trauma-informed support and determining whether your relationship can truly heal or if it's time to leave.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview.

MORE ABOUT HOPE RAY

Website: https://www.hoperay.com

TikTok: @HopeRayTherapy

HOPE RAY is a licensed therapist specializing in betrayal trauma and relationship repair after infidelity. She works extensively with couples navigating the aftermath of sexual secrets and deception, helping partners understand the abusive dynamics created by hidden betrayal.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Can Someone Be Both Covert AND Overt? Understanding Narcissistic Types & What Actually Matters

Thu, 08 Jan 2026 07:00:00 -0000

"My partner has traits of both covert and overt narcissism—is that possible?" This week's Fan Mail question comes from a podcast listener who writes:

"Can a person be both a covert and an overt narcissist? I'm hearing the descriptions of each and my partner has traits of both." In this episode, Dr. Kerry breaks down the confusing language around narcissistic types—what "covert" and "overt" actually mean (hint: they describe symptoms, not people), why your partner can absolutely show both presentations, and most importantly, why the type matters far less than the pattern of harm you're experiencing.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like your question addressed on air, send it here: 👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

You Can Love Them and Still Be Exploited: Sexual Coercion with Cult Expert Pamela Takefman

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 07:00:00 -0000

Ever wondered how someone can exploit you sexually while you still love them?

This week, Pamela Takefman joins Dr. Kerry to explain how sexual coercion works—and why it doesn’t always require kidnapping or obvious physical force to be real.

Learn how perpetrators gradually test boundaries until extreme exploitation feels normal, and why loving your abuser doesn’t mean the abuse isn’t real.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Think you might be experiencing coercion but aren't sure? Wondering what legal options exist for survivors?

Pamela reveals what qualifies as trafficking under federal law and how to assess whether you're psychologically ready to pursue justice through the court system.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

MORE ABOUT PAMELA TAKEFMAN

Website: mcolaw.com

PAMELA TAKEFMAN is Deputy Head of the Sexual Misconduct in Spiritual Communities practice at McAllister Olivarius, where she represents survivors of sexual abuse, forced labor, and coercive control in cults, spiritual communities, and other high-control groups.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Narcissistic In-Laws: Why They Deny the Truth (and What to Do)

Mon, 29 Dec 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Ever wonder why your in-laws rallied around your abusive partner instead of protecting you?

This episode explores one of the most painful dynamics in narcissistic abuse: when families choose to protect the abuser and paint YOU as the problem. We revisit a past interview with Rossana where she shares her firsthand experience of this dynamic along with a Fan Mail listener who experienced something similar.

PODCAST EXTRA

Next week, the Podcast Extra exclusive interviews will return.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

All Substack paid subscribers now receive immediate access to the Toxic-Free Relationship Club, which includes: • Invitation to the monthly Q&A with Dr. Kerry • Quarterly club-wide events featuring narcissistic abuse experts • Weekly newsletter with exclusive insights •

👉 Join a supportive community dedicated to healing and recovery:

MORE ABOUT ROSSANA FAYE

Website
Instagram & TikTok: @_rollercoasteroflove
Books: Rollercoaster of Love: Healing Journal
Narc Free Journal: A Step by Step Guide to Your Freedom

ROSSANA FAYE knows what it's like to be trapped on an emotional rollercoaster. After surviving 14 years in an abusive relationship, she transformed her pain into purpose—becoming a Certified Life and Relationship Coach dedicated to helping others break free from narcissistic abuse.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When Dangerous People Don't Look Scary: How to Spot the Dark Triad Personality Type

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Can a psychopath be a good person? And how do we spot dangerous people when they seem so charming?

This holiday special brings you an in-depth answer to one of your most-asked questions with highlights from Dr. Kerry's interview with Tara Blair Ball about the Dark Triad Personality.

We explore why dangerous people don't look scary and the critical difference between niceness and kindness.

PODCAST EXTRA

This week, there is no exclusive Podcast Extra interview. Instead, we're offering this special holiday edition to ALL Substack subscribers as our gift to you!

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How Do I Know If I'm in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship? Watch for These Signs

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 07:00:00 -0000

"How do I know if I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship?" asks a YouTube listener.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why even asking this question is an important sign of possible trouble. Dr Kerry will outline what emotional abuse actually looks like (hint: it's not about one-off incidents—it's about patterns) and why you might feel like you're shrinking or walking on eggshells. Abusive relationships turn people into functional objects instead of letting them shine as a fully autonomous and complex person.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like your question addressed on air, send it here:

👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When Your Family Chooses the Narcissist Over You: What Survivors Must Know

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Ever felt like you're the problem in your family—even when you're the one being hurt?

This week, Ágatha Peters joins Dr. Kerry to explore how cultural expectations and family loyalty create the perfect conditions for narcissistic abuse to thrive undetected.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Stuck as the family scapegoat? Wondering how to survive when you can't leave?

Ágatha reveals the psychological strategies that help you endure when escape isn't an option, why you can't change your role in a narcissistic family system, and how to build your own community within a community that's failed you.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview

MORE ABOUT ÁGATHA PETERS

Website: beautifulsunshinetherapy.com
Instagram & TikTok: @beautifulsunshinetherapy
Book: Trapped in Their Script: Reclaim Your Life from Narcissistic Abuse and Cultural Expectations

ÁGATHA PETERS is a licensed therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery within multicultural contexts. Drawing from both her clinical expertise and personal experience navigating cultural expectations,

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Does Surviving Narcissistic Abuse Turn You into Someone You Don't Recognize?

Thu, 11 Dec 2025 07:00:00 -0000

You dodged a bullet!" No—the bullet hit me. I just survived.

This week's Fan Mail question comes from a YouTube listener who writes:

"People tell me I dodged a bullet. But the bullet hit me—I just survived. I feel like it turned me into a monster. The PTSD caused me to start reacting more strongly to smaller triggers and even did abusive things myself in what I felt was self-defense."

In this episode, Dr. Kerry addresses why "you dodged a bullet" feels so wrong, what survivor's guilt really is, why up to 75% of narcissistic abuse survivors develop PTSD, and how to make peace with the protective parts of yourself that helped you survive—without exiling them.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like your question addressed on air, send it here:

👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How are Narcissists Made: Is it Trauma or Genetic? Here's What Dr. Salerno Thinks

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Is narcissism caused by genetics or trauma? Ever heard “narcissists act that way because of bad parenting" or “because they’ve experienced trauma?”

This week, Dr. Peter Salerno returns to challenge everything you thought you knew about the cause of narcissistic personality disorder. We're diving into the controversial science of heritability.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Stuck in cognitive dissonance? Are you struggling with the decision to leave and wondering why you can’t?

Dr. Salerno reveals why waiting for certainty keeps you trapped, how to make the hardest decision of your life without knowing if it's "right," and why almost no one regrets leaving once they do.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview.

MORE ABOUT DR. PETER SALERNO

Instagram: @DrPeterSalerno
YouTube: Dr. Peter Salerno
Website

Books: The Nature and Nurture of Narcissism: Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder from the Perspective of Gene - Environment Interaction

Traumatic Cognitive Dissonance: Healing from an Abusive Relationship with a Disordered Personality

'Cruelty by Nature: The Science of Intentional Abuse

DR. PETER SALERNO is a retired clinical psychologist with an expert understanding of personality pathology, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the genetic components of personality disorders.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Were You the Family Scapegoat? Why Sensitive People Get Targeted First

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 07:00:00 -0000

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a Spotify listener:

“Can you please do an episode on scapegoat children?”

Why do some people get scapegoated, especially in families? Dr. Kerry explains the role of the scapegoat and how families use this person to address systemic stress and dysfunctional.

Submit Your Question

If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here: 👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How Dangerous People Target You (Without You Even Knowing it!)

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Ever wonder why you didn't see the danger coming?

This week, Dr. Leslie Dobson joins Dr. Kerry to unpack the psychological mechanisms that drive narcissistic and antisocial behavior.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Red flags you're missing: how to spot pressure, boundary testing, and grooming before it's too late.

Dr. Dobson breaks down the early warning signs—from gold-toothed "tests" to rushed intimacy—and why trusting your intuition could save your life.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview.

MORE ABOUT DR. LESLIE DOBSON

Website
Instagram & TikTok: @DrLeslieDobson
YouTube: Dr. Leslie Dobson
Podcast: Intentionally Disturbing (iHeartRadio, available on all platforms)
Book: The Friend Cleanse: How to identify energy vampires, set boundaries & balance your glass of life

DR. LESLIE DOBSON is a clinical and forensic psychologist specializing in dangerous personalities.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Don't Narcissists Feel Regret? And 4 Other Questions You Need Answered, Featuring Dr. Les Carter

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Dr. Les Carter has spent decades studying narcissists, and in this retrospective, he reveals what most people miss until it's too late.

We revisit five groundbreaking conversations about what's really happening behind the mask.

Get a glimpse into the weekly Substack newsletter with this week’s complimentary copy. Sign up today using this link.

Dr. Carter may have produced his last video, but his wisdom continues on his YouTube channel, Surviving Narcissism.

Thank you, Dr. Les Carter, for all your wonderful work. You have made the world a more lovely, enlightened place.

DR. LES CARTER is a retired clinical psychotherapist, best-selling author, and expert on narcissistic abuse who hosts the popular YouTube channel "Surviving Narcissism".

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Does the Dark Triad Personality Type Really Exist & Is This Person Dangerous?

Thu, 20 Nov 2025 07:00:00 -0000

“Is the Dark Triad a real disorder—or just a dangerous type?”

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener in Germany who writes after a recent video:

“You called ‘dark triad’ a personality disorder, but it isn’t in the DSM-5. Isn’t it a subclinical descriptor?”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry clarifies what is the Dark Triad and why we need to get better at spotting this type of personality.

Submit Your Question

If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here:

👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When You Feel Less & Less Safe: How Coercive Control Steals Your Freedom & Choice

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Ever feel like you’re slowly running out of air in a “nice” relationship?

This week, Eleni Sagredos joins Dr. Kerry to unpack how coercive control hides behind charm and “preferences.”

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Learn how escalation works—and why “just leave” can be a privilege, yet safety planning matters now.

Eleni and Dr. Kerry map the climb from small criticisms to coercion to high-risk moments, and where to get immediate support (DV hotlines, advocates, transitional housing).

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview.

MORE ABOUT ELENI SAGREDOS

ELENI SAGREDOS is an author, an abuse educator and a certified Domestic Violence Advocate with a passion for raising awareness about covert abuse and domestic violence.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How Do I Help My Adult Son Who's in an Abusive Marriage?

Thu, 13 Nov 2025 07:00:00 -0000

“My son’s in a toxic marriage—how do we help without making it worse?”

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener in Raleigh, North Carolina:

“My adult son is in a toxic marriage with a likely narcissist. He’s miserable, says he wants out, but stays—partly because of their three young kids. How can we support him when he shares the emotional abuse without pushing or making things worse?”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains how best to support a loved one who’s being abused—especially when it’s your son. Learn what helps and what will make things worse.

Submit Your Question

If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here:

👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How Abusive Relationships Shatter Your Identity & Cost You Your Voice

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Ever feel like you can’t find “you” anymore? That you’re second-guessing everything, going numb, or swallowing your words just to keep the peace?

This week, psychologist Dr. Shahrzad Jalali joins Dr. Kerry to unpack how long-term emotional abuse scrambles your nervous system and leads to identity confusion.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 what to do if you either overwhelm others with pain or downplay what happened.

Dr. Jalali lays out a gentle, step-by-step plan that starts with naming what’s happening and accepting you’re not “overreacting.”

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

MORE ABOUT DR. JALALI

SHAHRZAD JALALI, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist. She completed an M.A. in Clinical Psychology (Marriage and Family Therapy) and received training during her internship in the field of addiction.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

My Abusive Husband Claims He’s Trauma-Bonded to Me!

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 07:00:00 -0000

“My abuser claims he’s ‘trauma bonded’ to me…Can that be true?

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener on YouTube who wants to know how common it is for an abusive partner to be trauma bonded. Hers claims to be. She’s wonders if this true or if her partner is attempting to dodge responsibility.

Submit Your Question

If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here:

👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Has Your Adult Child Gone No Contact? Here's How to Rebuild That Damaged Relationship

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Has your adult child gone no contact? Cut off all communication with you? Are you struggling to figure out how to repair things with them?

This week, psychologist and author Dr. Joshua Coleman, author of Rules of Estrangement, joins Dr. Kerry to unpack why estrangement is on the rise and what actually helps parents reopen the door.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Interview

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

More About the Podcast Extra Interview

🔹 In this members-only bonus, Dr. Joshua Coleman offers practical solutions, like boundary scripts, de-escalation moves, and how to say “no” to money requests.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview.

MORE ABOUT DR. JOSH COLEMAN

DR. JOSHUA COLEMAN is a psychologist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area and a Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Can a Psychopath ‘Choose’ to Be a Good Person?

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0000

“Can narcissists or psychopaths ever live moral lives?”

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener who asks: “Do you think there are some narcissists or psychopaths who genuinely try to live moral lives—perhaps guided by religion or conscience—or are they all just pretending?”

Her question was prompted by years of watching her ex, a man she believes to be a malignant narcissist, play the part of a “righteous” and religious man in public while being manipulative and cruel in private.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explores the complex intersection between moral development, conscience, and personality disorders.

Submit Your Question

If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here: 👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why You Keep Picking Narcissists and What to Do About It, Featuring Jessica Baum

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Ever wonder why you keep attracting the same kind of person—the ones who feel magnetic at first but end up draining you emotionally?

This week, therapist and author Jessica Baum, creator of Anxiously Attached and SAFE: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building Secure Relationships, joins Dr. Kerry to explore the hidden attachment wounds that pull us toward toxic partners.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Interview

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

More About the Podcast Extra Interview

🔹 What does healing really look like after a narcissistic or toxic relationship? In this members-only bonus, therapist and author Jessica Baum dives deep into the real work of recovery—how safety, connection, and self-compassion rebuild what trauma once broke.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

MORE ABOUT JESSICA BAUM

JESSICA BAUM, is a licensed psychotherapist whose journey began with a lifelong curiosity about the “Whys” of life—why we feel, connect, and experience the world the way we do.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why I Stopped Being the Perfect Wife and Daughter-in-Law

Thu, 23 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0000

“How can someone seem loving for years—then suddenly turn cruel?”

This week’s Fan Mail revisits a letter that struck a nerve with listeners. A woman wrote about her daughter-in-law, who had seemed like a wonderful addition to the family for seven years—until she “suddenly turned into a monster.”

But after the episode aired, Dr. Kerry received another listener’s response who offered the opposite perspective: “I was in a 23-year marriage marked by coercive control and escalating abuse. My in-laws adored me—until I began calling out my husband’s behavior. Then they rallied around him and turned on me.”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks six possible explanations for why someone may seem to “suddenly change” in a relationship or family dynamic.

Submit Your Question

If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here:

👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Can You Spot the 5 Types of People Who Could Ruin Your Life? Here's Bill Eddy's List

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Ever feel blindsided by someone who seemed charming, helpful, or even caring—only to realize later they were quietly dismantling your peace?

This week, conflict expert Bill Eddy, author of The Five Types of People That Ruin Your Life, joins Dr. Kerry to unpack the five high-conflict personality types most likely to cause chaos in relationships, workplaces, and families.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Interview

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

More About the Podcast Extra Interview

🔹 What do you do when walking away from a toxic or high-conflict person feels impossible? In this members-only bonus,

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

MORE ABOUT BILL EDDY

Website

Book - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities

BILL EDDY, LCSW, Esq. is HCI’s co-founder and Director of Innovation. While pioneering High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP), he was the National Conflict Resolution Center’s Senior Family Mediator for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist for 15 years, and a licensed clinical social worker and therapist for over 12 years.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

My Ex is Blaming Me For His Broken Relationships With Our Kids

Thu, 16 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0000

“Why does my ex always blame me when the kids want nothing to do with him?”

This week’s Fan Mail comes from a listener in Rochester, New York, who writes about the heartbreak of watching her children pull away from their abusive father, only to be blamed for it.

Her ex insists she’s turned the kids against him, while his family defends him as “such a good man” who’s “done so much for us.”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains how emotionally immature and abusive individuals deflect accountability, making others feel guilty for the natural consequences of their own harmful behavior.

Submit Your Question

If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here:

👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Narcissists Use Secrets to Avoid Intimacy

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Ever feel like your relationship was the most intoxicating connection of your life—only to discover shocking lies and betrayal later?

This week, intimacy expert Gary Katz reveals how narcissists protect themselves by keeping secrets, building false connections, and manipulating trust.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Interview

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

More About the Podcast Extra Interview

🔹 Think your relationship is missing intimacy, but not sure why?

In this members-only bonus, Katz shares practical tools to reignite connection, repair conflict, and restore closeness.

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview

MORE ABOUT GARY KATZ:

Center for Intimacy Recovery

GARY KATZ, M.S.W., C.S.A.T., C.P.T.T. is a psychotherapist and founder of The Center for Intimacy Recovery in New York.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

My Husband Claims His Facebook Account Has Been Hacked!…

Thu, 09 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0000

What do you do when the evidence points to betrayal, but your partner insists you’re crazy?

This week’s Fan Mail comes from a listener in Atlanta, Georgia, who describes the heartbreak of suspecting her husband of nearly 50 years is living a double life. Despite finding suspicious phone activity and even an STD clinic reference, her husband denies everything—blaming and belittling her instead.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks the signs of DARVO (deny, attack, reverse victim and offender), explains why being called “crazy” is psychological abuse, and shares what to do when you feel destabilized by betrayal trauma. She also offers practical next steps—from documenting evidence to protecting digital privacy—to help regain clarity and safety.

Submit Your Question

If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here: 👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why It’s So Hard to See Predators Coming: The Story Behind Netflix's Bad Vegan

Mon, 06 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Predators are often hiding in plain sight—and even the smartest, most capable people can miss the red flags. In this episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy talks with Sarma Melngailis, the former restaurateur whose story was told in Netflix’s Bad Vegan.

Sarma opens up about how she was manipulated, criminalized, and misrepresented—and why her memoir The Girl with the Duck Tattoo finally tells the truth.

Resources Mentioned

• Sarma’s memoir: The Girl with the Duck Tattoo: The Girl with the Duck Tattoo

• Follow Sarma: on Instagram: @sarmamelngailis

• Sarma’s Substack: Sarma Melngailis on Substack

• Dr. Kerry’s book: Love You More: The Harrowing True Story of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross

Podcast Extra Exclusive Interview

Find it here in the exclusive interview and weekly newsletter: 👉 https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

More About the Podcast Extra Interview

What did Bad Vegan get wrong?

In this exclusive interview, Sarma Melngailis reveals the critical details Netflix left out—from spliced audio that twisted her story to entire expert interviews that were cut.

Get immediate access to this extended conversation—and hear the truth behind the most misleading moments of the docuseries.

👉 Join today

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What to Do When You Lose Custody in Court: Answering Your Fan Mail

Thu, 02 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0000

This week’s Fan Mail brings us two powerful questions:

• From Syracuse, New York: “The family referee took my custody and handed it over to the father who was absent for years. My children have been separated from their siblings, and I’m only allowed one hour a week of visitation. The court won’t let me present my evidence, and I feel silenced and helpless. What can I do?”

From Wichita, Kansas
And from Kansas City, Missouri, a listener asks: “How do I get access to the Podcast Extras?”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry tackles both concerns. First, she validates the heartbreak of a mother caught in post-separation abuse reinforced by the family court system.

Then, in response to the Wichita and Kansas City listeners, Dr. Kerry explains how to access the Podcast Extras—exclusive deep-dive interviews with leading experts on narcissistic abuse recovery.

Submit Your Question

If you would like your question addressed on air, please respond here.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Podcast Trailer: Welcome to Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

Tue, 30 Sep 2025 18:00:00 -0000

Join Dr. Kerry McAvoy on Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse for real talk about toxic relationships and recovery. Mondays feature expert interviews, Thursdays bring our new Fan Mail Q&A. Get clarity, validation, and tools to heal.

Stay in Touch with Dr. Kerry!

More About Dr. Kerry

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.

In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When Men Say They’ve Been Abused: A Conversation with Josh from The Derelict Podcast

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Disclaimer: This interview features perspectives from a male divorce coach navigating toxic dynamics. While some views expressed differ from those of trauma-informed psychology, I found it valuable to explore these tensions in real time. Please listen with care, and note that I challenge certain assumptions as we go.

This week, I sit down with Josh Tomeoni, a divorce coach who shares his story of what he describes as abuse within his long-term marriage. Josh opens up about the male experience of toxic relationships and why so many men don’t recognize emotional abuse.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Interview

Find it here in the exclusive interview and weekly newsletter: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

More About the Podcast Extra Interview

What happens when a man says he’s been emotionally abused?

In this exclusive interview, Josh explores how some men frame abuse differently—and what that reveals about cultural conditioning.

Get immediate access to this extended conversation—and hear where I draw the line between “toxic” dynamics and true abuse.

👉 Join today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

MORE ABOUT JOSH:

The Derelict Podcast

Instagram

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When Your Therapist is the Narcissist! + Answering Your Fan Mail

Thu, 25 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -0000

What happens when a narcissistic therapist uses their professional training against you?

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener in Seattle who writes: “I dated a narcissist who was also a licensed clinical social worker. Can you talk about the weaponization of therapeutic training by narcissists?”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks how narcissistic mental health professionals can use psychology to pathologize your emotions and silence your voice, how the imbalance of power could be weaponized against you.

Submit Your Question

If you would like your question addressed on air, please respond here.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How the Victim’s Personality & Attachment Styles Shape Healing and Recovery - Featuring Chelli Pumphrey

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Do you know what one of the most dangerous traps you can fall for? Believing that you can “fix” a narcissist’s early attachment wounds.

In this exclusive episode, therapist and author Chelli Pumphrey explains why narcissists rarely have secure attachments.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Find it here for the exclusive interview and weekly newsletter.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA

🔹 What’s the attachment style of a narcissist?

In this powerful bonus conversation, Chelli Pumphrey shares the impact of narcissists’ attachment styles on relationship dynamics.

Get immediate access to this extended interview—and discover which attachment styles are more common among narcissists and other personality disorders.

👉 Join today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

MORE ABOUT CHELLI:

Book: Insight is 20/20: How To Trust Yourself To Protect Yourself From Narcissistic Abuse & Toxic Relationships

Website

CHELLI PUMPHREY, LPC, CCTP-II, NAST, is a Licensed Professional Counselor with over 30 years of clinical experience.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Can You Really Heal a Trauma Bond? + Why Do Narcissists Cheat? Answering Your Fan Mail

Thu, 18 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Can you really heal a trauma bond—or is the damage permanent?

This week’s Fan Mail features two powerful questions. The first comes from a YouTube listener who asks: “Is it really possible to break a trauma bond? Even Dr. Ramani says she still struggles daily—so what’s the point of fighting, especially if kids are involved?”

The second comes from a listener in New York, New York who wants to know: “Why do narcissists cheat—and how can you tell if it’s happening to you?”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks the reality of healing from trauma bonds, offering both hope and hard truth, and explores the eight most common reasons narcissists cheat—plus the warning signs to watch for in your relationship.

Submit Your Question

If you would like your question addressed on air, please respond here.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When Your Mother Hurts Instead of Loves You: Understanding The Controlling Mom

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Can you ever be “good enough” for a difficult mother?

In this episode, psychotherapist Katherine Fabrizio, author of The Good Daughter Syndrome, reveals why empathic daughters feel trapped in cycles of guilt, exhaustion, and approval-seeking—and how to reclaim your power and identity finally.

Tronick’s Still (Blank) Face Experiment

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Find it here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse for the exclusive interview and weekly newsletter.

MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA

🔹 Setting boundaries isn’t just about saying “no”—it’s about grieving the mother you wish you had while facing the reality of the one you do.

In this powerful bonus conversation, Katherine Fabrizio shares how to let go of the fantasy of a different mom,

Get immediate access to this extended interview—and discover the strength to set boundaries that honor your life.

👉 Join today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

MORE ABOUT DR. FABRIZIO

KATHERINE FABRIZIO, M.A., L.C.M.H.C., is a psychotherapist, mother, and the author of the Amazon bestseller.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Do We REALLY Stay? Answering Your Fan Mail

Thu, 11 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -0000

This week’s fan mail dives into two powerful questions about surviving emotional abuse.

First, Dr. Kerry explores what it means when you stop crying—and why emotional shutdown can be a survival mechanism in toxic relationships. Then she tackles whether the sunk cost fallacy is really what keeps us stuck with a narcissist, or if something deeper is at play.

Submit Your Question!

If you would like your question addressed on air, please respond here!

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How to Outsmart a Narcissist in Court: Family Law Secrets from Michele Locke

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Going through a custody battle or divorce with a narcissist? The you know the legal system can feel stacked against you.

This week, former family law judge and attorney Michele Locke reveals exactly how narcissists twist the truth, exploit legal loopholes, and weaponize the court process — and what you can do to outsmart them.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Interview

Find it here the exclusive interview and weekly newsletter.

More About the Podcast Extra Interview

🔹 Choosing the wrong attorney in a custody battle can cost you more than money—it can cost you your case.

In this members-only conversation, former family law judge Michele Locke shares how to spot when your lawyer isn’t the right fit and exactly what to do if you need to make a switch mid-case.

Get immediate access to this extended interview—and make sure the person representing you is truly fighting for your future.

👉 Join today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse.

More About Michele Locke:

Website: https://www.coldwellbowes.com/people/michele-l-locke

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attorneymichelelocke/

Podcast - LoveLustLaw: https://www.michelelocke.com/podcast

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Practical Steps to Stopping the Crazy Confusion: Answering Your Fan Mail

Thu, 04 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -0000

What do you do when you can’t just cut off a toxic person?

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a YouTube listener who asks: “How do I stop the cognitive dissonance and self-doubt when I can’t go no-contact with a toxic person?”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why cognitive dissonance is such a powerful trap in emotionally abusive relationships—especially when you’re forced to maintain contact.

Submit Your Question

If you would like your question addressed on air, please respond here!

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why We Miss the Abuse — And How to Break Free from the Confusion

Mon, 01 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Why do so many survivors miss they’re being abuse?

In this Labor Day Special, I’m revisiting three powerful interviews that follow the journey from denial to freedom.

Whether you’re still in or out of a toxic relationship, learning to recognize the psychological patterns can help you plan your next step toward freedom.

Have a Fan Mail Question?

Submit it here!

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why the Narcissist’s Mask Slips: Answering Your Fan Mail

Thu, 28 Aug 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Is my daughter-in-law a malignant narcissist? How did she hide her worst qualities for so long?

Today, Dr. Kerry answers 2 listeners’ questions.

The first is from New York, New York about narcissists’ public and private personas. Many narcissistic individuals create a false mask to hide their worst qualities.

The second comes from Southern Pines, North Carolina, who wants to know more about love-bombing.

SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION!

If you would like your question addressed on air, please respond here!

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Exposing Love Bombing: Insights from The Wolf of Wall Street’s Ex-Wife

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 06:00:00 -0000

What if the person you fell in love with never really existed?

In this episode, Dr. Nae — psychologist, author of Run Like Hell, and former wife of the real “Wolf of Wall Street” — exposes how master manipulators use love-bombing, mirroring, and coercive control to create a false sense of intimacy.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Interview
Find it here the exclusive interview and weekly newsletter.

More About the Podcast Extra Interview

🔹 Leaving a trauma bond isn’t just about walking away—it’s about planning your freedom in a way that keeps you safe.

In this exclusive podcast extra conversation, Dr. Nae shares the exact steps survivors need to protect themselves before, during, and after leaving a toxic relationship.

Get immediate access to this extended interview for effective strategies and confidence-building insight.

👉 Gain access today

More About Dr. Nae

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

He Has Successfully Destroyed Me! Answering Your Fan Mail

Thu, 21 Aug 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Welcome to our new podcast segment called Fan Mail! This is where Dr. Kerry answers your questions.

To kick off our weekly bonus episode, Dr. Kerry is responding to a listener who writes, “He has destroyed me and my world after 16 years of marriage.” -- from Westminster California

More About the Episode

Today Dr. Kerry answers two fan mail requests:
1. "Please address abuse from a man's perspective." -Cleveland, Ohio
2. "I can't heal...He's successfully destroyed my world. -Westminster, California

Submit Your Question

If you would like your question addressed on air, please respond here.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Dr. Les Carter on the #1 Sign Someone Lacks Emotional Maturity in Conflict

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 06:00:00 -0000

What’s the single biggest giveaway that someone lacks emotional maturity — especially when the pressure’s on?

In this episode, Dr. Les Carter, psychologist, best-selling author, and expert on narcissism and emotional health, reveals the #1 sign of low emotional maturity during conflict. We dive into how this pattern plays out in everyday disagreements, and what you can do to protect your own emotional space when dealing with it.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Interview
Find it here for the exclusive interview and weekly newsletter.

More About the Podcast Extra Interview
🔹 Ever wish you could walk away from a heated argument without feeling guilty—or second-guessing yourself?

In this exclusive bonus conversation, Dr. Les Carter shares his best strategies for stepping out of circular or controlling exchanges before they drain you.

👉 Gain access today!

More About Dr. Carter
Books:

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The Part No One Talks About: What It Really Takes to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse

Mon, 02 Jun 2025 06:00:00 -0000

This week, I’m pulling back the curtain on something few of us talk about—the emotional toll of surviving narcissistic abuse after the relationship ends. Healing is hard. Helping others heal while still navigating your own recovery? Even harder. In this episode, I share why I’m taking a short summer hiatus—and how you can still stay connected and supported during this time.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What’s Wrong With Me? Why Abuse Victims Believe They're the Narcissist

Mon, 26 May 2025 06:00:00 -0000

This US holiday weekend, let’s revisit three of your favorite podcast episodes. Interestingly, they all have the same theme: why narcissistic abuse survivors initially think they’re the problem.

Clip 1 is from Season 3 Episode 133: "How mad can I make you?" The Toxic Games Covert Narcissists Play”

Video: https://youtu.be/pfU0y1ycgtg

Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391/episodes/15052505

Clip 2 is from Seoson 3 Episode 123: “Am I The Narcissist? When Toxic People Accuse You of Being The Problem”

Video: https://youtu.be/wwKnai4Gu2M

Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391/episodes/14715474

Clip 3 is from Season 2, Episode 107: “Here's Why You're Not Spotting a Covert Narcissist…”

Video: https://youtu.be/QaZovKhVoTc

Audio https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391/episodes/13845831

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Have Bad Taste in Partners? The Red Flags We Often Miss

Mon, 19 May 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Why do we pick bad partners? Is purely because of deception or are we missing early warning signs of a toxicity?

This week, author and clinician, Mary Crocker Cook joins us to discuss the problems of early socialization and different expectation in the dysfunctional relationship.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How Your Relationship Changes When Your Partner Has Narcissism and ADHD

Mon, 12 May 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Can someone be both narcissistic and neurodivergent?

This week, ADHD coach and neurodiversity educator Sheila Henson joins Dr. Kerry to explore the nuanced overlap between narcissistic traits and ADHD. Together, they unpack how these two very different dynamics can sometimes co-exist—and what that means for the health of your relationship.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When Is It Really Over? The Top Signs a Dying Relationship

Mon, 05 May 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Is your relationship displaying signs that it’s over? Maybe it’s on its last legs, and you wonder if it can be saved?

In this episode, Dr. Becky Whetstone delves into the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on the challenges faced during marriage crises. She shares her experiences and insights as a marriage therapist, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and recognizing the signs of an unhealthy relationship.

Learn more about Dr. Whetstone:

Website

Dr. Becky's Blog

Book: I (Think) I Want Out: What to Do When One of You Want to End Your Marriage

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Are You an Over-Functioner? The Problem of Doing Too Much

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Are you living with a narcissist or a stressfully demanding person? These types of relationships often require us to step up with extra emotional labor without us even realizing it.

This week, psychotherapist and author Terri Cole joins us to explore the hidden costs of high-functioning codependency. Learn why over-helping is often a trauma response, not a personality trait—and what to do if you're living with a boundary bully.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When Your Best Friend is a Narcissist: Cost of Toxic Female Relationships

Mon, 21 Apr 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Are female friendships just as damaging as pathological love relationships?

This week, Sabrina Kirberg, author of We Used to be Best Friends, joins us to discuss the harmful consequences of toxic women friendships. Learn why we often miss spotting toxic female relationships and their common harmful dynamics.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The Shocking Psychological Cost of Living with a Narcissist: Interview with Lynn Strathdee

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Living with a narcissistic or emotionally toxic person will wreak havoc on your personality or sense of self.

This week, Lynn Strathdee, mental health therapist and expert, joins us today to discuss the effects of chronic exposure to narcissistic abuse. Learn how dysfunctional relationship shapes your personality, giving “echoistic” tendencies.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Betrayal Keeps Abuse Survivors Trapped in a Victim Mindset: Interview with Dr. Debi Silber

Mon, 07 Apr 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Are you trying to heal from a betrayal?

If you have survived a narcissistic relationship then you have experienced betrayal. Often repetitive, devastating breaches of trust.

This week, Dr. Debi Silber joins us to discuss how to rebuild renewed confidence after betrayal. She outlines the five stages of betrayal recovery as well the common pitfalls that keep survivors stalled from fully healing after abuse.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Sex Goes Wrong in a Narcissistic Relationship: An Interview with Dr. Lisha Antiqua

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Toxic relationships tremendously impact our emotional selves, but what about our sexual selves?

Dr. Lisha Antiqua, an expert in sexual intimacy and soul psychology, joins us to discuss how common toxic dynamics in narcissistic relationships, such as objectification and transactional relationships, diminish our intimate connection with one another. She also defines the importance of healthy interpersonal and sexual boundaries.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is It Narcissism or Autism? When Neurodivergence Is Used as an Excuse

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Is it autism or narcissism? It’s become trendy lately to excuse toxic/abusive behavior as neurodivergence.

Today, Erica Little-Herron, an expert/advocate on autism, joins us to discuss the key differences between narcissism and autism.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When It’s Necessary to Go No Contact With a Narcissistic Mother: A Conversation with Alex Anderson, FOG Movie

Mon, 17 Mar 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Going no contact with a parent, particularly when it’s your mother, is a gut-wrenching decision.

Alex Anderson, an independent film-maker and writer joins me to discuss his timely movie, FOG, which explores a toxic mother-daughter dynamics. He describes how Fog-Obligation-Guilt drives this challenging relationship.

Learn more about Alex and his work here: https://www.youtube.com/@alexanderson2467

To watch the FOG trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DacCvo7ngLA

See the full movie of FOG here: https://youtu.be/aAknjJiYZJA?si=blSq5URg7RGhC7Rg

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The Disturbing Reasons Why Men Justify Violence Against Women: Interview with Chuck Derry, Co-Founder of Gender Violence Institute

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 06:00:00 -0000

Why do men abuse? How does this behavior benefit them?

Today, Chuck Derry, the co-founder of the Gender Violence Institute, joins us to discuss the disturbing reasons for male violence and what community responses are needed to curb these toxic/dangerous behaviors.

To learn more about the results of Chuck Derry’s study, visit: https://voicemalemagazine.org/abusive-men-describe-the-benefits-of-violence/

Gender Violence Institute: https://www.genderviolenceinstitute.org

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When Your Ex’s New Life Looks Like a Dream After They Shattered Yours

Mon, 03 Mar 2025 07:00:00 -0000

You’re barely picking up the pieces, and your ex has already moved on—posting picture-perfect snapshots of their new, fabulous life. Meanwhile, you're left wondering: Were they always this happy, or is this just for show?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Lisa Sonni dive into why narcissists and toxic personalities seem to seamlessly transition into a "perfect" new relationship. Is it real, or is it just another illusion? And if you’re struggling with the gut-punch of watching your ex’s highlight reel, we’ve got practical strategies to help you break free from the comparison trap and reclaim your healing.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Could Your Partner Be Sadistic? Why We Excuse Cruelty in Relationships

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Ever wondered if your partner’s cruelty is intentional? Do they know they’re being hurtful, or is it just thoughtlessness?

This week, Dr. Kerry and Lisa Sonni expose a chilling but often-overlooked dynamic in toxic relationships: sadism.

Learn what sadism really is, how it shows up in narcissistic partnerships, and why some toxic individuals seem to take pleasure in your pain.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The Four Most Dangerous Personalities Types to Avoid: An Interview with Joe Navarro, Former FBI Special Agent

Mon, 17 Feb 2025 07:00:00 -0000

What signs warn that we’ve met not just a toxic person, but someone dangerous?

This week Joe Navarro, author and former FBI special agent joins us to discuss the four most dangerous personalities. Navarro is most well-known for his work as a body language expert. He’s authored several books, including What Every Body is Saying, Dangerous Personalities, Louder Than Words, and The Dictionary of Body Language.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When the Narcissist Says They Love You: Are They Lying?

Mon, 10 Feb 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Narcissists often claim to love us. That they want the save the relationship; but do they?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Lisa Sonni discuss the confusing dynamic of narcissistic partners claiming to be changing and addressing the relationship issues, only aren’t. Learn how survivors can tell the difference between genuine effort from sophisticated manipulation.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Toxic Relationships Always Leave Us Traumatized and Confused: An Interview with Dr. Peter Salerno

Mon, 03 Feb 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Narcissists know they are being abusive--that they're being manipulative and exploitative.

This week, Dr. Peter Salerno is back to discuss his latest book, Traumatic Cognitive Dissonance. He discusses with Lisa Sonni why abusive relationships with narcissists leave survivors feeling psychologically battered and confused.

To Learn More About Dr. Peter Salerno: Website

For a Copy of Dr. Salerno’s Books: Traumatic Cognitive Dissonance: Healing From An Abusive Relationship With A Disordered Personality

The Nature and Nurture of Narcissism: Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder from the Perspective of Gene - Environment Interaction

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Controlled by Guilt: A Popular Tool Narcissists Love to Use Against You

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Narcissists will use any means to control you, especially guilt.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Lisa discuss the common reasons guilt is such a powerful weapon in the hands of a narcissist or toxic personality.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Narcissists Are So Good At Disturbing Our Peace: Interview with Anna Runkle, Crappy Childhood Fairy

Mon, 20 Jan 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Have you noticed how upset narcissists get? How they can't regulate themselves?

Anna Runkle of the wildly popular Crappy Childhood Fairy YouTube channel joins me today to talk about the importance of learning how to regulate yourself, especially after living with a narcissist.

Learn more about the role of psychological regulation plays in setting us free from the lingering effects of trauma and abuse.

To learn more about Anna:
Website: https:crappyChildhoodFairy.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/crappychildhoodfairy/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CrappyChildhoodFairy/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@crappychildhoodfairy
Get her latest book, Re-Regulated: Set Your Life Free from Childhood PTSD and Change the Trauma-Driven Behaviors That Keep You Stuck Here: https://amzn.to/3PpG8Fx

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The Little Known Reasons Why Love-Bombing Works Every Time: Interview with Nadine Macaluso, Ex-Wife of the Wolf of Wall Street

Mon, 13 Jan 2025 07:00:00 -0000

There are powerful psychological reasons why love bombing works nearly every time.

In this episode, Dr. Nadine Macaluso, the ex-wife of the Wolf of Wall Street shares what she’s uncovered about why we fall so easily spellbound for a toxic or narcissistic individual.

To learn more about Dr. Nadine Macaluso (often known to as Dr. Nae), please visit: https://drnae.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drnaelmft
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealdrnadine/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheRealDrNadine
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/therealdrnadine/

FREE GIFT FOR LISTENERS: Download the First Chapter of Dr. Nae’s new book, Run Like Hell: A Therapist’s Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds: https://drnae.com/giveaway-book/

Dr. Nae’s Book:
Run Like Hell: A Therapist Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds: https://amzn.to/3PodpkA

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When You Return to the Abuse: Why It Takes 7 Tries to Leave a Narcissist

Mon, 06 Jan 2025 07:00:00 -0000

Victims return to a narcissistically abusive relationship an average of seven times.

In this episode, Lisa and I discuss why leaving a narcissist or toxic partner is so extremely difficult and share some thoughts on how to view leaving differently.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How Narcissists' Use Breadcrumbs of Love to Create an Agonizing Confusion

Mon, 30 Dec 2024 07:00:00 -0000

Trauma bonds are one of the most misunderstood yet powerful connections that narcissists and toxic individuals exploit to keep their partners trapped.

These bonds create a confusing dynamic where the very person causing harm becomes the source of comfort—a cycle that is as addictive as it is painful.

In this replay of a fan-favorite episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to break down the making and breaking of trauma bonds. Together, we uncover how these devastating ties form, why they’re so hard to escape, and what you can do to break free.

If you’re battling a trauma bond—whether you’re still in the relationship or working to heal—there is hope.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Everything You Need to Know About Narcissism from 3 Experts: Dr. Les Carter, Dr. Peter Salerno, and Bill Eddy

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 07:00:00 -0000

Today you are in for a treat with a longer interview, featuring three of my favorite experts on narcissism: Dr. Les Carter, Dr. Peter Salerno, and Bill Eddy.

In this episode, each of these men will describe what is narcissism, how narcissists view relationships, and why they behave as bullies.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why "Just Leave" is Terrible Advice: How Narcissists Keep You Trapped

Mon, 16 Dec 2024 07:00:00 -0000

Have you been told that you should just leave?

In this episode, Lisa Sonni and I discuss why this advice severely misses the mark. Why exiting a narcissistically abusive relationship is difficult and even dangerous for most abuse survivors.

Resources Mentioned in the Episode
The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
Character Disturbance by George Simon
Dangerous Personalities by Joe Navarro
The Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch

A Special Thank You!
I’ve deeply appreciated Lisa and Rossana Faye being regular special guests this past year. I’d also like to recognize the other behind-the-scenes people who helped make this show possible, especially Joe Duncan and Arianne Bansig. Each works tirelessly to make every episode extra special. You both are amazing!

Fan Mail
Thank you for the fan mail! For sharing your struggles and victories. We would also love to hear topic recommendations. Thank you so much for supporting us by being a regular listener. You are the reason for this show. We love and appreciate you so much!

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Could This Be Right for You? New Help and Hope for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

Mon, 09 Dec 2024 07:00:00 -0000

Narcissistic abuse often leaves devastating consequences to the survivor’s confidence and self-esteem.

Today, Kristin Arden, DNP, APRN, PMHNP-BC, Mindbloom’s Clinical Director, and Shari Botwin, LCSW, trauma counselor, join me to discuss the use of ketamine therapy as a new alternate treatment option for trauma survivors.

If you would like to learn more about Mindbloom or ketamine therapy, please see https://mindbloom.com/kerrym100. To take advantage of the $100 off total of your first two treatments, use discount code “kerrym100.”

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Brainwashed & Spellbound: How Narcissistic Abuse is Really a Cult of Two

Mon, 02 Dec 2024 07:00:00 -0000

Have you considered that a narcissistically abusive relationship is actually a cult of two?

Daniella Mestyanek-Young, author of Uncultured and expert in cult dynamics, joins us to discuss the similarities between cult leaders and narcissists.

Be sure to follow Daniella!
TikTok - @knittingcultlady
Website: Uncultureyourself.com
And get a copy of her book, Uncultured: https://amzn.to/3CDhFcY

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Being Taken for Granted? How to Protect Your Big-Heartedness from Toxic People's Manipulation

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 07:00:00 -0000

As a nod to this week’s holidays, let’s revisit three of my favorite episodes that discuss how to handle being too big- or kind-hearted.

We at the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday!

Links Mentioned:

• Codependent No More by Melody Beattie: Melody Beattie
• Facing Codependency: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives by Miller, Miller, and McMillan
• Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty by Aziz Gazipura, PsyD

To learn more about the Dark Triad Personality Type, check out, “Could you be at risk? Why you should be afraid of the Dark Triad Personality” - https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391/episodes/12978484

To listen to the full episodes featured today:

S2 EP 79: Is Codependency a Bad Word?Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391/episodes/12428199
Video: https://youtu.be/aF9cW1b7Dtk
S2 EP 92 Does Everyone Deserve Our Kindness?
Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391/episodes/13150918
Video: https://youtu.be/RMVMtCF3N4A
S2 EP 109: Does the Narcissist Always Ruin Your Holiday?
Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391/episodes/13922710
Video links: https://youtu.be/RzSxypGEtpI

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras! Join me on Substack!

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The High Cost of Toxic Relationships on Health, Wealth, and Peace of Mind

Mon, 18 Nov 2024 07:00:00 -0000

Narcissistic relationships are parasitic in nature. Toxic personalities often drain others of their time, money, attention, and resources.

In this podcast, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss the high and sometimes hidden cost of narcissistic relationships.

Reference: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van de Kolk: https://amzn.to/3AtGt6z

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Feeling Confused? How Toxic People Keep Us Baffled and Stuck

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 07:00:00 -0000

Have you noticed that when you’re finally ready to leave, your toxic or narcissistic partner suddenly does something amazing? Do they keep you off balance and confused about the state of the relationship?

In this episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss how narcissists and other toxic people use emotional manipulation to keep their partners and loved ones psychologically stuck in a bad relationship.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When You Can't Leave or Stay: How to Recognize a Trauma Bond

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 07:00:00 -0000

There comes a point when you know you need to leave, but you can’t. The connection with your loved one is too powerful.

In this episode, Rossana Faye joins me to discuss the signs and symptoms of a late-stage trauma bond.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When You've Been Driven Mad and Snap: The Power of Reactive Abuse

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Has someone driven you to the breaking point? When you just lose it and snap?

This week, Rossana Faye joins me to discuss the destructive power of reactive abuse. Victims often feel terribly guilty afterward, yet they’ve been deliberately provoked into reacting.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is it Just the Silent Treatment or Really Rejection? Why Stonewalling is Harmful

Mon, 21 Oct 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Is it Just the Silent Treatment or Really Rejection? Why Stonewalling is Harmful

Silence occurs for many reasons, but sometimes it’s intentionally used as punishment.

Rossana Faye joins me in this podcast episode to discuss why stonewalling is so painful. Silence can be weaponized to send powerful messages of rage and rejection.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why is My Partner a Narcissist? Which is it—A Nature or Nurture Problem?

Mon, 14 Oct 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Are narcissists born or made? And why does this question matter, considering the terrible toll of narcissistic abuse?

This week, psychotherapist Dr. Peter Salerno joins me to discuss the root causes of narcissism along with the common misunderstandings about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Learn the importance of understanding the underpinning of this character makeup when it comes to healing and recovery.

Follow Dr. Peter Salerno on social media: @drpetersalerno

Learn more about him: https://www.drpetersalerno.com
Check out his new book, The Nature and Nurture of Narcissism: https://www.drpetersalerno.com

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Does Childhood Abuse Leave a Lasting Legacy in Adult Relationships: An Interview with Nia Renee

Mon, 07 Oct 2024 06:00:00 -0000

What is the impact of childhood abuse on adult relationships? Can children overcome early trauma?

Nia Renee joins me this week to discuss the lasting legacy of abuse. She describes the impact of chronic gaslighting and neglect on her later relationships. Learn what role resiliency and determination played in helping break the abuse cycle.

To learn more about Nia Renee: https://howtoloveabatteredwoman.com/

Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok: @howtoloveabatteredwoman

Resources Mentioned: Jennifer Freyd - Blind to Betrayal: https://amzn.to/3NdpR5r

Richard Schwartz - Internal Family Systems Theory: https://amzn.to/3ZJ5RiI

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How Narcissistic Abuse Could Cost You Your Identity: The Dangers of Echoism

Mon, 30 Sep 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Are you speaking up less? Fawning more? There’s a high cost to living with a narcissist, and it could be your identity.

This week, Lynn Strathdee, psychodynamic therapist, joins me to discuss echoism, the true opposite personality style to narcissism. She shares how fawning could result in a loss of our very self.

To learn more about Lynn’s work:
Website: https://www.echoismrecovery.com
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theechochamber?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

Lynn Strathdee is a dedicated psychodynamic therapist with a passion for helping adults recover from narcissistic abuse. Armed with a degree in Psychodynamic Counselling, a Master's in French Translation, and a Post Graduate Certificate in Education, Lynn combines her rich educational background with extensive therapeutic expertise.

Lynn specializes in working with "echoists"—individuals whose identities have been profoundly impacted by narcissistic relationships. Understanding their unique struggles, she employs a blend of self-psychology and psycho-education to guide her clients toward reclaiming their sense of self and living fulfilling lives.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How Relationships Become Dangerous: The Slow Shift from Toxic to Deadly

Mon, 23 Sep 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Dangerous relationships rarely begin physically abusive. Initially, you think you’ve met a fantastic partner, but slowly, the toxicity turns into something more insidious and lethal.

Trigger warning: this week, Lisa Sonni and I share vulnerable details of how we missed the early signs of danger in our narcissistic relationships.

IF YOU ARE A RISK of immediate danger or abuse, please get in touch with the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.

References: Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft https://amzn.to/4e505fw

Blind to Betrayal by Jennifer Freyd https://amzn.to/4d3xwxW

Ro’s TikTok warning video: https://www.tiktok.com/@_rollercoasteroflove/video/7397857556867271942?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7413141517819479583

Am I the a-hole for divorcing my husband TikTok video: https://www.tiktok.com/@comfortlevelpodcast/video/7404870008377150766?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7413141517819479583

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

If You're in a Narcissistic Relationship, Why Couples Therapy is a Bad Idea

Mon, 16 Sep 2024 06:00:00 -0000

When there’s trouble in a relationship, most couples are urged to seek couples counseling.

In today’s episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to talk about why this suggestion is a terrible idea if your partner is a narcissist. Too many couples therapists lack the education to identify narcissistic abuse, and narcissistic and toxic partners are highly sophisticated at manipulating the therapeutic process.

For help breaking a trauma bond, see Lisa’s resources: https://strongerthanbefore.ca

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Narcissists Have Problems with Being Securely Attached to You

Mon, 09 Sep 2024 06:00:00 -0000

What’s the connection between attachment styles and narcissism? This week, Dr. Erin Leonard, a practicing psychotherapist, joins me to discuss the common problems narcissists have with emotional intelligence and creating secure connections with others. She’s recently authored How to Outsmart a Narcissist, where she describes the best ways to protect ourselves from narcissists’ efforts to manipulate and exploit.

More about Dr. Leonard:

BOOK- How to Outsmart a Narcissist: Use Emotional Intelligence to Regain Control at Home, at Work, and in Life by Erin Leonard:
WEBSITE
PSYCHOLOGY TODAY

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Dr. Carter's Best Advice About Narcissists That Every Survivor Needs to Know

Mon, 02 Sep 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Have you wondered what a narcissist was thinking? Why would they do what they do? Do they intentionally know they were being cruel?

This week, I’m going to re-release an interview I did with Dr. Carter in 2023. In it, he gave a unique perspective on the narcissist’s mindset and explained their worldview and defensiveness. Learn how they so effectively turn the tables on us, making us think we’re the crazy ones.

Stay safe this week! I look forward to having you back for our new episode featuring psychologist Dr Erin Leonard next week. She will be joining us to discuss resiliency, vulnerability, and attachment problems with narcissists.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Family Court Too Often Takes the Side of the Narcissistic Abuser

Mon, 26 Aug 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Have you noticed that too off family court becomes just another battle ground for the narcissist?

Lisa Sonni joins me this week to discuss post-separation of abuse. Most of us passionately want to protect our children from our toxic ex only to experience more helplessness in the mediation and courtrooms.

Resources Referenced:
Emotionally Bulletproof Kids
https://strongerthanbefore.ca/webinar-bulletproof-kids

When Dad Hurts Mom by Lundy Bancroft: https://amzn.to/3Xbg8mj

Angela - Family Court Corner: https://www.familycourtcorner.com

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Most People, Including the Victim, Fail to Recognize Narcissistic Abuse

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Are you being abused and don’t know it? Not only is society blind to narcissistic abuse, but so are most victims.

In this episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to talk about why narcissistic abuse is so difficult to spot, even to the victims, and the role this plays in the difficulty of getting help.

Resources Mentioned:

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Bill Eddy's Best Advice For Dealing with Narcissistic Bullies

Mon, 12 Aug 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Every person who has dealt with a narcissist has been bullied.

This week, expert and author Bill Eddy joins me to discuss what we get wrong about bullying behavior and the practical steps we all should take to better protect ourselves from antagonistic and vindictive people.

To learn more about Bill Eddy and his work, visit: https://highconflictinstitute.com

And be sure to check out his latest book, Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them - How to Stop Them: https://amzn.to/3Abr0r3

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Sometimes It Feels Wrong or Immoral to Leave a Narcissist

Mon, 05 Aug 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Leaving is a moral choice. Often, breaking up or divorce is viewed as a personal choice, but it has ramifications and is character-defining.

Rossana Faye joins me this week to discuss why sometimes it becomes a moral dilemma to leave our narcissistic partner. Deciding to divorce is often not as clear-cut for many of us.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When Your Partner is a Narcissist, Why the Term "Narcissistic" Matters

Mon, 29 Jul 2024 06:00:00 -0000

These days, it seems like everyone is a narcissist. Is the label of narcissist or narcissistic harmful or helpful?

This week, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss the importance and impact of identifying narcissistic abuse and dysfunctional relationship dynamics.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Best Advice for Divorcing a Narcissist Without Losing Your Sh*t: Interview with The Dirty Laundry Podcast

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Divorcing a narcissist often ends up a contentious battle. Victims come into court shaken up and traumatized, whereas their toxic ex appears poised and confident.

Today, two Toronto legal mediators, Amanda Silver and Alex Howard, are joining me. They are also the co-hosts of the Dirty Laundry Podcast. They are going to share how to protect your interests better when leaving a narcissist.

To learn more about Amanda and Alex, please see:
Podcast: https://dirtylaundry.buzzsprout.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJxM73RNPkuk5doIOcqelWA

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When You Can't Leave: How to Survive a Narcissistic Relationship

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 06:00:00 -0000

What if you're not going to leave a narcissist? What if leaving isn't possible? Is there a way to survive a toxic relationship?

Sometimes, leaving a toxic relationship isn't possible due to complex reasons. Lisa Sonni joins me this week to discuss why some victims find themselves trapped in a bad partnership and what to do if this describes your situation.

Resources Referenced:

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist by Dr. Ramani Durvasula: https://amzn.to/4cx4cAe

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Stop trauma dumping on me! How to know if you're trauma dumping vs. trauma reprocessing

Mon, 08 Jul 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Have you heard of trauma dumping? It’s become a new way to attack victims for talking about their narcissistic abuse experiences.

Rossana Faye joins me as this week’s special guest to explore the importance of sharing your trauma and the role it plays in helping you heal from abuse.

And you don’t want to miss this week’s Podcast Extra where Ro and I discuss the differences between trauma reprocessing and trauma dumping. For this exclusive interview, subscribe here: substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

Reference:
Betrayal Blindness by Jennifer Freyd: https://amzn.to/3VIEvFU

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Aren't all relationships tough? Why We Struggle to Spot Narcissistic Abuse

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 06:00:00 -0000

In celebration of the upcoming holiday, this episode features three of our listeners’ favorites.

Listen in as Tara Blair Ball and I discuss:
1. How narcissistic abuse is different from emotional abuse
2. Why covert narcissists are difficult to spot
3. If it's true that narcissists make good lovers

Listen to the full episodes here:

S2 EP 102: Were you emotionally abused or narcissistically abused? Why the differences matter

S2 EP 107: Are you trapped by a covert narcissist? The top reasons why you're not spotting covert narcissists faster!

S2 EP 99: Are all narcissists sex addicts? What goes wrong with intimacy in the bedroom

References:
Defining Narcissistic Abuse: The Case for Deception as Abuse by Dr. Kristen Milstead

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Only Me & Never You: Inside the Bizarre Mind of a Narcissist - Interview with Dr. Les Carter

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 06:00:00 -0000

The mind of a narcissist is wildly self-absorbed and oblivious to those around them. They are excessively focused on me, me, me.

Dr. Les Carter joins me to discuss what victims get wrong about the mind of a narcissist. He shares how our assumptions and misunderstandings create false hope, causing us to stay too long and to give too many chances.

To learn more about Dr. Carter: Visit Website & his Surviving Narcissism YouTube channel.

Dr. Carter's book: When Pleasing You Is Killing Me

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

I desperately love and fear them: The Terrifying Power of a Trauma Bond

Mon, 17 Jun 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Could you be trauma-bonded to a narcissist? Are you battling a strange mix of love and fear?

Lisa Sonni joins me this week to discuss trauma bonds--an intense connection to another person that is very difficult to break. We think we feel love when it's based on fear.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why Can't I Leave? The Crazy Confusion from Late-Stage Cognitive Dissonance

Mon, 10 Jun 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Have you asked yourself, "Why can't I leave?" You know you should. You've even started hiding the ugly truth of what's really going on behind closed doors.

In this episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss late-stage cognitive dissonance. Learn the underlying cause of the agonizing confusion that paralyzes the victim from acting in their own best interest. Find out what it took for us to break free from its terrible grip.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Feeling duped and conned? Why We Miss the Signs of a Covert Narcissist: An Interview with Eleni Sagredos

Mon, 03 Jun 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Have you left a relationship feeling duped? Not just betrayed, but conned? You’ve likely met a covert narcissist.

In this episode, Elena Sagredos, author of But They’re So Nice, joins me to talk about the deceptiveness of covert abuse. We often miss the signs we’ve met a covert narcissism behind their guise of niceness, only later to discover their extreme duplicity.

To learn more about Eleni, you can follow her here:
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nonarcsense
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/no_narcsense

To purchase her book:
But They’re So Nice

Eleni Sagredos is an abuse educator and a certified Domestic Violence Advocate with a passion for raising awareness about covert abuse and domestic violence. She is the author of the book "But They're So Nice: Unmasking Covert Abuse & Narcissistic People," which sheds light on the insidious nature of emotional and psychological abuse often overlooked or minimized. Eleni is most active on TikTok, where she shares her insights, experiences, and resources to help others recognize the dynamics and tactics in abusive relationships.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is my partner a narcissist? Highlights from Dr. Kerry's 3 Favorite Interviews

Mon, 27 May 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Relationships with narcissists can be confounding, confusing, and incredibly frustrating.

Join Dr. Kerry for this holiday episode when she revisits the highlights of her three favorite interviews. Hear Dr. Les Carter’s explanation of why narcissists are so tricky, Lisa Sonni’s three steps to breaking a trauma bond, and Dr. Robin Stern’s disturbing description of gaslighting’s power.

To listen to these full episodes:

Dr. Les Carter: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/podcast/s2-ep25-why-do-narcissists-have-to-make-life-miserable-dr-les-carter-explains-narcissism/

Lisa Sonni: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/podcast/s2-ep27-why-am-i-so-confused-the-making-breaking-of-a-trauma-bond-with-lisa-sonni/

Dr. Robin Stern: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/podcast/54-whats-wrong-with-me-the-power-of-gaslighting-to-confuse-and-control-interview-with-dr-robin-stern

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

"We're just trying to help!" How to Manage Toxic In-Law Drama

Mon, 20 May 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Are you battling toxic in-law drama? Is your mother-in-law or father-in-law intruding into your relationship or family?

This week, Rossana Faye joins us to discuss common toxic in-law drama, particularly when it involves a narcissistic mother- or father-in-law. This week's self-help tip is the importance of strengthening your couple's boundaries over time.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

"How mad can I make you?" The Toxic Games Covert Narcissists Play

Mon, 13 May 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Do you find yourself exasperated or angry at your partner, but you aren’t sure why? Do they put you into no-win binds?

Covert narcissists love to play subtle, often hidden mind games. They are masterful at twisting the truth, hiding exploitative agendas, and playing the victim, enraging their partners and families while keeping them in the dark.

In this episode, Lisa Sonni joins to discuss the common mind games covert narcissists use. This week's self-help tip is how to use your emotional reaction and personal history to identify toxicity.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

"You're trying to control me!" Why Managing Boundaries with Narcissists Fails

Mon, 06 May 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Have you noticed managing boundaries with narcissists always fails? That they find some tricky way to evade limit setting?

Suddenly, you’re being accused of being too controlling or sensitive, or they can’t understand what you're asking.

In this podcast, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss the problems of managing boundaries with narcissists. We'll explore this issue from a narcissist's perspective: why they find boundaries threatening. The self-help tip is the importance of evaluating both partners' investment in the relationship as a measure of a healthy relationship.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

"You’re not taking my babies from me!" How Jessica Kent Escaped Abuse

Mon, 29 Apr 2024 06:00:00 -0000

(Trigger Warning: This episode contains graphic descriptions of abuse.)

This week, Jessica Kent, a wildly popular social media figure, joins me to share her story of escaping abuse. Jessica reveals how covert narcissistic abuse can go from subtle to violent, especially when victims leave the relationship.

Jessica Kent is best known for prison reform advocacy. To learn more about her and her work:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/JessicaKent
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jesken12/?hl=en
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jesken12?lang=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OfficiallyJessicaKent

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How Could I Have Not Known? How Devastating Betrayals Blind Us

Mon, 22 Apr 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Sometimes, the truth can be right in front of you, but you still can't see it. Rossana Faye joins me this week to discuss a concept Dr. Jennifer Freyd, in her book Blind to Betrayal, calls “betrayal blindness.” Some truths can be so devastating that they are difficult to face.

And, the self-help tip is the importance of listening to what feels off, uncomfortable, or wrong to recognize signs you may be missing critical details in your relationship or family.

Blind to Betrayal: Why We Fool Ourselves When We Aren’t Being Fooled by Jennifer Freyd, Ph.D.: https://amzn.to/3TRNPpO

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why I'd Snoop Again: How this Toxic Behavior Sometimes Provides Closure and Safety

Mon, 15 Apr 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Is it ever okay to go through your partner's phone? I've been guilty of snooping and might consider doing it again.

Narcissists and toxic personalities are masters at creating ambiguity. My ex used to readily offer me his credit card after we first started dating. He'd send photos of broken machinery and take me on company runs, all as a way to build trust so that I couldn't tell real company crises from manufactured ones.

I later learned he'd created this elaborate ruse to hide a double life.

Yet going through our loved one's phone can become a hard habit to break. Sometimes, we struggle to exit toxic relationships despite overwhelming evidence of betrayal.

In this podcast, Lisa Sonni and Dr. Kerry share their personal stories and discuss important considerations when facing these tricky situations.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

I Think My Pet is Being Hurt! The Danger Narcissists Pose to Our Animals

Mon, 08 Apr 2024 06:00:00 -0000

An all-too-common problem is narcissists and pets. Toxic people often pose a serious danger to our beloved animals.

In this podcast, Lisa Sonni and Dr. Kerry discuss the relationship toxic people often have with their family pets. Narcissists will often shower animals with love and attention only to harm the pets in private. The self-help tip includes some important boundaries to consider when beginning a relationship with someone new.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Did the Church Groom Me for Abuse? When Spiritual Leadership Becomes Toxic

Mon, 01 Apr 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Have you been a victim of spiritual abuse? It's not just interpersonal relationships that can be toxic, but also group systems and leaders. Many are stepping forward to expose toxic church leadership and oppressive and abusive spiritual belief systems.

This week, Natalie Hoffman, author of Is it Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman's Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse and her latest book, All the Scary Little Gods: a Memoir, joins me to discuss this sensitive topic.

To learn more about Natalie, you can find her on
Instagram

And she's also the hold of the Flying Free podcast

Her books:
Is it Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman's Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse

All the Scary Little Gods: a Memoir

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Am I The Narcissist? When Toxic People Accuse You of Being The Problem

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Have you ever wondered, "Am I the narcissist?" Have you been accused of being the problem?

In this podcast episode, Rossana Faye joins me to discuss how to know who's creating the chaos. Narcissists are notorious for never seeing themselves as the root cause, but how do we know that the issue isn't us?

And the self-help tip is how to use your history to identify dysfunctional relationship patterns.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is It Really Abuse If I Can't Do What I Want? What is Coercive Control?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Is being overly controlling a form of abuse?

In this podcast episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss the subtleties of coercive control. Learn how to recognize the common control tactic of this insidious form of abuse. And this week's self-help tip is to assess how your partner's feelings and demands affect you. Are you doing less and becoming increasingly isolated to please them?

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When Stonewalling Is Used Against You: How to Disarm Toxic Interactions

Mon, 11 Mar 2024 06:00:00 -0000

Stonewalling or giving someone the silent treatment is one of the nastiest forms of unfair fighting. When we ignore or reject another person's bid for a connection more than thirty percent of the time, the likelihood the relationship won't make it dramatically increases.

In this episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss why stonewalling is such a popular toxic behavior and what to do if it's happening to you.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What's wrong with me? The Power of Gaslighting to Confuse and Control: Interview with Dr. Robin Stern

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 07:00:00 -0000

Have you wondered what's wrong with me? This could be a sign of gaslighting.

Dr. Robin Stern, psychoanalyst, author, and expert on gaslighting, joins me to discuss the underlying dynamics of a toxic or narcissistic relationship. She delves into the hidden motivations of both the gaslighter as well as the gaslightee.

•Learn more about Dr. Stern
•The Gaslight Effect Podcast
•My Interview with Dr. Stern on The Gaslight Effect Podcast
•The Gaslight Effect book

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

When Fear of Change Keeps You from Leaving: How to Say Goodbye to a Toxic Life

Mon, 26 Feb 2024 07:00:00 -0000

Leaving often brings along with it a fear of change. We might dread how change will affect our kids or our friendships. Maybe we're concerned about how leaving could disrupt life as we know it.

In this podcast episode, Tara and Dr. Kerry discuss the fears of change they faced and how they overcame them to leave. Tara also is leaving the show and shares about her future plans.

The self-help tip is the power of letter writing to find closure after leaving a toxic relationship.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Could Your Relationship be Making You Sick? The High Cost of Living With a Narcissist

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 07:00:00 -0000

Could living with a narcissist be making you sick? Are you struggling with more illnesses? Maybe you even have an autoimmune disease.

In this podcast episode, Tara Blair Ball and Lisa Sonni discuss the invisible impact of living with a narcissist on our health. Learn how narcissists and other toxic people not only sabotage our self-care but also impact our physical and mental health.

Resources: The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk- https://amzn.to/3Sh06nc

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Don't Trust Yourself? How Self-Doubt Keeps Us Stuck in a Bad Relationship

Mon, 12 Feb 2024 07:00:00 -0000

Are you stuck in a bad relationship? Are you wondering if you have good enough reasons enough to leave?

In this podcast episode, Rossana Faye, Rollercoaster of Love, joins to me to discuss how self-doubt can trap us in a bad relationship. How we can get stuck in our own heads, which only adds to the confusion we already feel in narcissistic relationships. And the self-help tip is the power of finding forgiveness for ourselves through acceptance and love.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Time to Leave? Top Dos and Don'ts When Divorcing a Narcissist: Interview with Kate Anthony

Mon, 05 Feb 2024 07:00:00 -0000

Are you considering divorcing a narcissist? Wondering how to do it safely?

In today's podcast, Kate Anthony, a High-Conflict Divorce Coach and author of The D Word, joins me to discuss how to become our own best advocate when leaving a narcissist. She covers the top dos and don'ts to exiting these challenging and even dangerous relationships.

Kate Anthony: https://kateanthony.com
The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage: https://amzn.to/3HDbTHh

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Off-balanced by the ups and downs? How narcissists keep you confused.

Mon, 29 Jan 2024 07:00:00 -0000

Are you feeling off-balanced? Do you wonder how your narcissistic partner or loved one is keeping you confused?

In this podcast episode, Tara is joined by Lisa Sonni of Stronger Than Before, and they delve into how narcissists and toxic people employ intermittent reinforcement and other manipulative strategies to keep victims confused.

The self-help tip is the importance of analyzing one's investment in a relationship. Ask yourself, "Is the giving and support mutually reciprocal and equitable?"

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Men can't be victims, right? Common myths about men and narcissistic abuse: An Interview with Brent MacLerie

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 07:00:00 -0000

One of many harmful stereotypes men face is that they can't be victims of narcissistic abuse, yet the rates of narcissism are nearly equal between men and women.

In this episode, Brent MacLerie, social media activist and advocate for gender issues, joins Tara and me to discuss his experience of narcissistic abuse along with the common challenges many male victims face in abusive relationships.

To follow Brent: https://www.tiktok.com/@expatriarch
Resource: Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work: https://amzn.to/3TYMjnA

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Deceived by your partner? The devastating effects of betrayal trauma

Mon, 15 Jan 2024 07:00:00 -0000

When there's been a massive breach of trust, victims experience what's called betrayal trauma. Yet, there's often a rush to fix the duplicitous partner instead of the one betrayed, neglecting the victims' psychological devastation.

In this episode, Lisa Sonni joins Dr. Kerry as a regular special guest, and they discuss victims' common betrayal reactions. And the self-help tip is the importance of prioritizing your own mental health if you're the one who's been betrayed.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How narcissists can turn dream honeymoons into a waking nightmare!

Mon, 08 Jan 2024 07:00:00 -0000

Did you think you had met the most amazing person only to discover you had married a stranger?

Narcissists and other toxic personalities often wait until their partners are trapped by commitment before beginning more serious abuse and betrayals. In this episode, Tara and Kerry share how narcissists often unmask their real selves after moving in together or while on the honeymoon.

And, the self-help tip is the importance of finding the right help with facing this kind of a crisis.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How to manage runaway triggers in new situations and at family celebrations

Mon, 18 Dec 2023 07:00:00 -0000

Are you managing trauma triggers in new situations or at family holiday celebrations? Are you struggling with sudden fears, rushes of emotions, or disturbing flashbacks?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara discuss coping with trauma triggers after narcissistic abuse. Learn helpful strategies for managing these challenging and unexpected triggers.

Links:
FX's The Bear

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How to make your holidays special despite the yearly toxic family drama!

Mon, 11 Dec 2023 07:00:00 -0000

Do you struggle each holiday with the toxic family drama? In this episode, Tara and I discuss the common traps that can keep us from having a meaningful celebration.

The self-help tip is how to re-adjust our mindset and expectations so that we accept imperfection as a part of every experience.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What red flags are you missing in that new relationship? An Interview with Dr. Heidi Brocke

Mon, 04 Dec 2023 07:00:00 -0000

What red flags are you missing? Are you ignoring the early warning signs of a possible toxic relationship?

In this podcast episode, Dr. Heidi Brocke from the It's Not Normal, It's Toxic podcast joins us to share the common reasons we fail to recognize the initial symptoms of a toxic relationship.

To learn more about Dr. Heidi: https://coachingwithdrheidi.com
It's Not Normal, It's Toxic podcast: https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/its-not-normal-its-toxic?sfw=pass1701135483

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Can't live without them? Watch out for this early sign of a trauma bond!

Mon, 27 Nov 2023 07:00:00 -0000

Dependency can be an early red flag that you're trapped in a traumatic bond with a narcissist. When you feel like life without them is meaningless.

In this week's episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara draw from personal experience the first signs that signaled their trauma bonds and what to do if this is happening to you.

The self-help tip is on staying grounded in the present to sidestep the pitfalls of 'future faking.'

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Are you arguing a lot? Here's why you should not try to win a fight with a narcissist

Mon, 20 Nov 2023 07:00:00 -0000

Are you fighting a lot? Maybe it's better to learn how not to win an argument with a narcissist.

In this podcast, Dr. Kerry and Tara delve into the problem of arguing with a narcissist. Why these discussions often go sideways with the end result of hurt feelings and being defeated.

And the self-help tip is practical things to remember the next time a narcissist tries to bait you into a heated discussion. How to stay cool and in control of yourself.

Links:
Nameless Narcissist Video: https://www.tiktok.com/@thenamelessnarcissist/video/7289156751230881066?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7296199669347976750

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Does the narcissist always ruin your holidays? How to handle celebration nightmares!

Mon, 13 Nov 2023 06:00:00 -0000

Have you wondered why narcissists ruin holidays? Why they can't let you enjoy Thanksgiving, Christmas, or your birthday?

In this podcast episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara share their insights and tips, along with some personal stories about this common pattern among narcissists and other toxic people.

And the self-help tip is the importance of having "self-care" boundaries to handle uncomfortable holiday situations.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Suddenly on your own? How narcissists use isolation to cut you off from others

Mon, 06 Nov 2023 07:00:00 -0000

Are you suddenly alone? Learn how a narcissist isolates you as a way to gain control over you. How they cut you off from your closest friends and family, making you more vulnerable to abuse.

Are you looking for an understanding community? Join Dr. Kerry's Toxic-Free Relationship Club with weekly live group video office hours. https://kerrymcavoyphd.com/toxic-free-relationship-club/

Books mentioned:

BIFF by Bill Eddy: https://amzn.to/3FFqm4D
Coparenting with a Toxic Ex by Amy J L Baker: https://amzn.to/40qKIIA

Coparenting Apps:
OurFamilyWizard: www.ourfamilywizard.com
2Houses: www.2houses.com
TalkingParents: www.talkingparents.com

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Are you trapped by a covert narcissist? The top reasons why you're not spotting covert narcissists faster!

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 06:00:00 -0000

Do you want to know why you're not spotting a covert narcissist? Learn what is a covert narcissist and the early signs you've met someone toxic.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara take a deep dive into the top reasons why so many of us struggle to spot a this particularly toxic group of narcissists. And in the self-help tip, learn what to do if someone you know threatens to harm themselves.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Are all narcissists abusive? Aren't we unfairly demonizing a group of people?

Mon, 23 Oct 2023 06:00:00 -0000

Are all narcissists abusive? Aren't we unfairly classifying a group of wounded people as toxic or dangerous? Tara and I address this common accusation about narcissists and other toxic people in this podcast episode.

The self-help tip is how to use a detailed history of our personal background to determine if we might be the one causing the relationship problems.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Has the narcissist got you feeling confused? Here's how they keep you in the dark!

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 06:00:00 -0000

Have you wondered what's real? Maybe you've noticed how narcissist keeps you in the dark--that they say one thing while doing something else.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara delve into this all-too-common victim's experience of intense confusion that accompanies most narcissistic relationships. And the self-help tip is the importance of having a nonjudgemental, supportive friend for a helpful perspective.

Link: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is it a boundary or an ultimatum? Why narcissists hate limit setting

Mon, 09 Oct 2023 07:00:00 -0000

Have you wondered why narcissists hate limit setting? Why are your boundaries treated as though optional, yet they treat theirs like ultimatums?

In this podcast episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara explore the common difficulties we experience limit setting with narcissists. Instead of a self-help tip, we've answered a listener's question that was emailed to us. She asked how do you know when someone's addiction recovery isn't real.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why isn't my narcissistic partner changing when they say they're trying?

Mon, 02 Oct 2023 10:00:00 -0000

Have you ever asked yourself, Why isn't my narcissistic partner changing despite going to therapy? Many narcissists claim they've never worked harder yet their abusive behavior continues.

In this podcast episode, Kerry and Tara share from their personal experiences how to know when a narcissistic partner is truly doing the work to save a troubled relationship.

And the self-help tip is a simple exercise on how to test a narcissistic partner's sincerity in making real change.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Were you emotionally abused or narcissistically abused? Why the differences matter.

Mon, 25 Sep 2023 11:00:00 -0000

Why distinguish narcissistic abuse from emotional abuse? Aren’t both referring to the same thing? In this episode, Kerry and Tara take a closer look at how narcissistic abuse uses deception to confuse and dupe victims. And the self-help tip is on how to use expressive writing for healing from abuse.

LINK: Defining Narcissistic Abuse: The Case for Deception as Abuse by Kristen Milstead, PhD

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Are you trapped? What to do if you're stuck in a bad relationship

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 13:00:00 -0000

What should you do if you get trapped in a bad relationship? Narcissistic abuse victims often have limited financial means and little social support. In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Tara answer a listener's letter of someone who finds themselves exactly in this position.

The self-help tip is about the importance of giving yourself permission to prioritize your own needs first.

Link:
What to Say When You Talk to Your Self by Shad Helmstetter, PhD

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is it love bombing or real love? Can you tell the difference?

Mon, 11 Sep 2023 13:00:00 -0000

How do you know if it's love bombing vs. real love? What signs should we be watching out for when meeting someone new? Does the problem of love bombing only apply to narcissists, or do other people do it too?

In this podcast episode, Kerry and Tara share from their personal experience the common mistakes we make separating love bombing from real love.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Are all narcissists sex addicts? What goes wrong with intimacy in the bedroom

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 14:00:00 -0000

Can narcissism be linked with sex addiction, and what exactly is sex addiction? In this episode, Kerry and Tara delve into the intimacy challenges that some individuals with narcissistic tendencies face. Instead of providing this week's self-help tip, they address a listener's question: "Can a narcissist change?"

Link:

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Season 2 Episode 83: Am I more vulnerable to toxic relationships because I have ADHD or Autism? The answer might surprise you

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Have you met a narcissist? How sympathy sometimes can be a warning

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 13:00:00 -0000

Is empathy a good indicator you've met a healthy person? Narcissists are often thought of as emotionally cold and insensitive, yet this stereotype couldn't be further from the truth.

In this episode, Kerry describes why we often initially miss the signs we've met someone toxic. Learn the difference between instrumental and compassionate empathy.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Feeling knocked down? Defeated? Here's Kerry's secret on how to become an overcomer

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this episode, Tara flips the script and interviews Kerry. Dive in as Kerry reveals a hidden gem that's been her shield against tough times. Tune in to discover how you too can stand tall against the shadows of narcissistic harm.

Links:

How He Gets Into Her Head by Don Hennessey

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why am I so confused? The Making & Breaking of a Trauma Bond with Lisa Sonni

Mon, 07 Aug 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this episode, Tara and Kerry interview Lisa Sonni, author and trauma bond expert, on the development of powerful psychological attachments. Lisa shares how to recognize if we’re trauma bonded and how to know if we are breaking this toxic interpersonal connection. This episode demystifies the intense attachment so many of us have with toxic people with helpful, yet hard-hurting truths.

Links:

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How to find joy and renewed power after surviving abuse: An interview with Tara

Mon, 31 Jul 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this episode, we get a behind-the-scenes look into our co-host, Tara's life. She shares how she has learned to find joy and where her real source of power is after surviving abuse.

Links:

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why do narcissists have to make life miserable? Dr. Les Carter Explains Narcissism

Mon, 24 Jul 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this episode, Tara and Kerry interview Dr. Les Carter, a psychologist with wildly popular YouTube channel and podcast, Surviving Narcissism about the narcissistic mindset. Dr. Carter demystifies why these individuals are so good at turning the tables on us, making us feel like the crazy ones.

Links:

Dr. Carter's YouTube Channel

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

If it was just a "situationship", why do I feel so miserable?

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this episode, Kerry and Tara respond to a listener's letter about the struggle of recovering from even just a situationship with a narcissist. Relationships with narcissists can impact us negatively even when they aren't long-term ones! And today's self-help tip is about learning to replace previous/negative habits and behaviors with positives ones.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Does everyone deserve our kindness? How to reduce the risk of being exploited

Mon, 10 Jul 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this episode, Kerry and Tara share some of their struggles with figuring out the difference between being selfish and having self-respect. Many of us see boundaries or self-care as inherently "selfish." And today's self-help tip is assessing the motive of your or others' actions.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Am I still trauma bonded? Top Signs That You’ve Broken That Toxic Connection

Mon, 26 Jun 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this episode, Kerry and Tara share the initial signs they had broken the trauma bond with their exes. Intense connections get formed with toxic partners and family members that can be very controlling. Breaking them is an essential part of healing. And today's self-help tip is using your observational power to recall possible consequences of any potential action as a personal boundary.

Links:

Betrayal Bonds: Breaking Free of Exploitative Relationships by Patrick Carnes
Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Season 1 Episode 64: I think I'm trauma bonded. Now what? How do I start my healing?

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

My relationship is toxic? I thought all relationships required a lot of work

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this episode, Kerry and Tara address a common fallacy that all relationships are a lot of hard work. We will explore why many of us struggle to recognize signs of a toxic partnership. And the self-help tip is using our bodily sensations to identify safe connections and situations.

Links:

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson
Recovery from Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson
Toxic People by Lillian Glasse
Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Season 1 Episode 20: To avoid being lovebombed by a narcissist, how much is too much to share?

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How will I know when I'm supposed to leave? What if I make the wrong decision?

Mon, 12 Jun 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this episode, Kerry and Tara tackle one of the most asked questions of abuse survivors: how do I know if I should leave? We'll discuss the common hindrances to making this decision and how to support a loved one who's trapped in this kind of indecisiveness. Today's self-help tip is to make a realistic budget for expenses if you should decide to leave.

Links:

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum
Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Season 1 Episode 52: I just left the narcissist; how do I stop this terrible pain?

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Could you be at risk? Why you should be afraid of the Dark Triad Personality

Mon, 05 Jun 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this episode, Kerry and Tara discuss a particularly dangerous group of people, the Dark Triad Personality Disorders. And today's self-help tip is how to assess if someone you know is a one.

Links:

Is My Partner Toxic or Dangerous? Find out with this short survey
If you’re wanting to exit a toxic relationship safety, here are some things to consider.
Adam Grant
Definition of the Light Triad Personality type
Robert Hare, Ph.D. Expert on psychopathy
Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Season 1 Episode 47: How does a narcissist or a psychopath differ? Aren't both abusive?

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Friends as Enemies: What to do when those you love are narcissistic

Mon, 22 May 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this episode, Kerry and Tara tackle how complicated it can be when the narcissists in your life can also be friends or family members. And the self-help tip is a visualization strategy for your boundaries.

Links:

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Season 1 Episode 69: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391/12420137-ready-for-the-holidays-my-three-top-tips-for-dealing-with-difficult-relatives-and-in-laws

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How can my narcissistic ex move on so easily? The Problem of Grief

Mon, 15 May 2023 13:00:00 -0000

Victims of narcissistic abuse often complain about seeing happy photos of their exes on social media. In this episode, Kerry and Tara will discuss why some people move on so quickly and easily after leaving a relationship. And the Self-Help Tip will be how to use "containment" for intense emotions like grief.

Links:

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Waking up to a Stranger: What Happens Once Love Bombing is Over

Mon, 08 May 2023 13:00:00 -0000

Have you noticed how narcissists and toxic people morph into someone new once love-bombing is over? In this episode, Kerry and Tara examine the chameleon-like nature of personality disorders and how this creates confusion and self-doubt for victims. And the self-help tip is a helpful exercise to expose if this dynamic is happening in your current relationship.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Announcement

Mon, 24 Apr 2023 13:00:00 -0000

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse will be dropping a new episode on May 8, 2023. In the meantime feel to listen to previous episodes here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Could I be the narcissist? The power of reactive abuse to make victims feel crazy.

Mon, 17 Apr 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara tackle the power of reactive abuse to make some narcissistic abuse victims feel crazy. And the self-help tip is how to increase the effectiveness of an affirmation by pairing it with a positive behavior.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Am I more vulnerable to toxic relationships because I have ADHD or Autism? The answer might surprise you.

Mon, 10 Apr 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss the vulnerabilities those of us with ADHD or Autism might have in regards to toxic relationships. And, the self-help tip is on how to practice boundaried sharing with the social skyscraper.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Aren’t narcissists fantastic lovers? Tackling the myth of great sex in abusive relationships

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss the myth of sex in the narcissistic relationship, and how it might be bad, weaponized, or even assaultive. And, the self-help tip is on how to practice red light/green light in assessing if and what you should do in regards to physical intimacy in a current or new relationship.

Links:

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse season 1, episode 44: Listen here.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why do I feel so confused and awful? Are these signs of cognitive dissonance?

Mon, 27 Mar 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss the signs of cognitive dissonance and the impact it can have on us physically, mentally, and emotionally. And, the self-help tip is on how to practice H.A.L.T in order to get back to practicing the basics.

Links:

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse season 1, episode 24: If it’s that bad, why don’t narcissistic abuse victims just leave? Listen here.
Anonymity by Susan Bergman
Why Can't I Just Leave? by Dr. Kristen Milstead

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Are you a gaslighter? How we might unintentionally gaslight in even healthy relationships

Mon, 20 Mar 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss how we might actually gaslight in healthy relationships and how to avoid doing this in the future. And, the self-help tip is on letting others "earn" our trust before blindly giving it to them.

Links:

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse season 1, episode 30: Listen here.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is Codependency a Bad Word? Should it be Used to Describe Narcissistic Abuse Victims?

Mon, 13 Mar 2023 13:00:00 -0000

In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss codependency vs. Super Traits, what's the difference, and why we differ in how we feel about each of the terms. And, the self-help tip is on how to create a list of top lines for yourself.

Links:

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why do I love my abuser? The power of a trauma bond explained

Mon, 06 Mar 2023 14:00:19 -0000

In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara give an intimate look at the emotional power of a trauma bond. How trauma bonds create mental confusion and a psychological dependence on the abuser. And, the self-help tip is on the importance of identifying and protecting non-negotiable boundaries.

Links:

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse season 1 episode 58: Listen here.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What's best for the kids, leaving or staying in a toxic relationship?

Mon, 27 Feb 2023 14:00:35 -0000

In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss co-parenting challenges when you have a toxic ex. How do you stay regulated when kids are involved, and what do you do when the kids are being used as pawns? Today's self-help tip is learning to talk to yourself as if you were a friend.

Links:

Onward
OurFamilyWizard
WeParent
CustodyConnection
Parentship
2Houses
Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse season 1 episode 66: Listen here.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Can we still be friends? How to handle the toxic post-split lovebomb request

Mon, 20 Feb 2023 14:00:49 -0000

In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss why your toxic ex might come back and try to lovebomb you after the break-up through, what may seem like, innocent requests of friendship. We agree that while their offer may seem tantalizing, DON'T do it! Today's self-help tip is a different way to approach communicating with toxic people.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Do I really need to go no contact with my narcissistic ex?

Mon, 13 Feb 2023 14:00:54 -0000

In this week's episode, Kerry and Tara discuss following through with limited contact or no contact after a break-up. What is limited vs. no contact? How long should you do it for? And WHY should you do it? Today's self-help tip is one way to self-soothe during reactive abuse.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Help, I think I'm being financially abused! What can I do about it?

Mon, 06 Feb 2023 14:00:39 -0000

Research has found that over 99% of victims in abusive relationships were also being financially abused. Could you be experiencing financial abuse? In this episode, Kerry and Tara will identify the common indicators of this abuse type along with some suggestions on how to overcome it. And today's self-help tip discusses the importance of leading with your head and not your heart when making big relationship decisions.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What to do when your narcissistically abusive ex tries to come back

Mon, 30 Jan 2023 12:00:41 -0000

In this week’s episode, Kerry and Tara discuss the common problem of exes trying to return after a breakup. Tara also shares why it's necessary to be careful with following self-help advice in this week's self-help tip.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What Is "Narcissistic Abuse?" How Is It Different from Abuse? Is It Being Overused?

Mon, 23 Jan 2023 14:00:00 -0000

In this week’s episode, Kerry and Tara discuss the use of narcissistic abuse. It's become a very popular topic on social media. Is it being overused? Then in the Self-Help Tip for today, we'll share how to handle a common argument tactic like DARVO.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

As a survivor of abuse, are you setting realistic goals for yourself in 2023?

Mon, 16 Jan 2023 14:00:00 -0000

In this week’s episode, Kerry and Tara discuss setting realistic goals in 2023 and the Self-Help Tip is a simple strategy on how to hold better boundaries.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Big changes for the new year! Let’s make it one of wholeness & health

Mon, 09 Jan 2023 14:00:00 -0000

Welcome back to a new season! I’m being joined with a co-host, Tara Blair Ball, author & relationship coach and kicking off a new self-help tip segment.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Ready for the holidays? My three top tips for dealing with difficult relatives and in-laws

Thu, 22 Dec 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Narcissist and other difficult people love to ruin the holidays. They will find some way to make it harder on you.

In this episode I’m going to offer three of my favorite tips on how to manage this year’s holiday season so that it’s more manageable and meaningful.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

I've lost my sense of self after narcissistic abuse. How do I reclaim it?

Mon, 19 Dec 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Narcissistic abuse damages our sense of self because our sense of self is constantly in flux. An exchange of psychological influence occurs between us and those around us.

This episode will look closely at this process and how abuse impacts it as well as outline some ways to begin healing self-esteem after abuse.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why does every issue turn into an argument? My partner says I'm the problem

Thu, 15 Dec 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Have you noticed how narcissists can take a seemingly straightforward decision and turn it into an exhausting, nonsensical circular argument? The constant conflict can mess with us and make us think we’re the problem.

In this episode, we will explore this common dynamic, including how to determine who’s creating the problems.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is the abuse harmful to children? Two survivors share their personal experiences

Mon, 12 Dec 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Does abuse affect children the same way as the adult partner? Today, I’m joined by Bri Peterson of Abuse is Abuse. Both of us experienced emotional or narcissistic abuse as children and adults.

In this episode, we will explore the differences between both types of abuse. Was the cognitive dissonance the same? How did that affect our sense of self?

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why can't I find a therapist who knows something about narcissistic abuse?

Thu, 08 Dec 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Anyone looking for a mental health clinician with expertise in narcissistic abuse knows this is challenging. What makes this so difficult?

In this episode, we’ll explain why finding a therapist is difficult and give tips on how to vet a potential one.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

I think I'm trauma bonded. Now what? How do I start my healing?

Mon, 05 Dec 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Trauma bonds are painful connection with another person that is based on fear. There’s an addictive quality making them very hard to break.

In this episode, we will briefly define a trauma bond and then identify the initial steps to breaking one.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is it healthy to obsess over my past narcissistic partner and what happened to me?

Thu, 01 Dec 2022 14:00:00 -0000

It’s become popular to spend time thinking about psychopathic and narcissistic abuses—for us to obsess over what’s happened to us.

In this episode, we’ll explore whether this way of thinking is good for us and how to tell if we’re falling into unhealthiness as we try to make sense of the

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How do I combat my partner turning every issue into a "me" problem?

Mon, 28 Nov 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Have you heard of the acronym DARVO? It’s a nasty type of gaslighting that flips the script and attacks us when we bring up an issue.

In this episode, we will address the underlying dynamic of this abusive practice along with the three steps to combatting it effectively.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How do I rebuild trust in myself after surviving narcissistic abuse?

Mon, 21 Nov 2022 14:00:00 -0000

It’s tough when you first leave a narcissistically abusive relationship. Your partner has made most of the decision, and over time, you’ve given up more and more of yourself, betraying yourself and your sense of safety. How is trust rebuilt?

In this episode, we will examine why reclaiming our self-integrity and relying on our intuition is challenging, along with a few practical steps to begin your healing.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What people don’t understand about abuse and why it’s hard to leave a toxic relationship

Thu, 17 Nov 2022 14:00:00 -0000

The most common, useless advice given to victims is just to leave. Why do we say this when we know it’s hurtful and probably, not useful?

In this episode, we will examine the underlying biases and assumptions about abuse and abuse victims. Why there’s a cultural blindness to victims’ plight and how it leads us to neglect this most vulnerable group.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Should we blame victims for not spotting the signs they've met a dangerous person?

Mon, 14 Nov 2022 14:00:00 -0000

I recently started reading a book that’s been around a while—Neil Strauss’ book called The Game, though he’s since come out against the practices described in it. It’s all about his experiences of learning how to manipulate women sexually through post-hypnotic suggestions and other psychologically manipulative strategies. Despite knowing there are online resources and groups encouraging predatory behavior, we tend to hold victims responsible for the abuse.

In this episode, we will take a closer look at the dynamics of abuse and the responsibility for the abusive & predatory behavior.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why can't I leave my partner? The seven stages of a trauma bond

Thu, 10 Nov 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Have you heard of the term “trauma bond?” It’s a condition similar to being brainwashed by Stockholm’s Syndrome. Victims recovering from narcissistic abuse liken the breaking of a trauma bond to overcoming a heroin addiction.

In this podcast episode, we will cover the seven stages of a trauma bond and how to begin recovery.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What quality did I miss when I got into a relationship with a toxic person?

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Every victim wants to know how they got into a toxic or dangerous relationship. Was there an early sign of danger that they missed? Were they too trusting, gullible, or naive? Most victims have been accused of being codependent. What does research have to say?

In this episode, we will dig deeper into this topic, particularly Sandra L. Brown’s groundbreaking research into the dynamics of pathological love relationships. What personality qualities made us predator’s target, and how can we protect ourselves better? Speaking of Sandra Brown, I’ll be interviewing her live Thursday evening. There are still a few remaining tickets to that event. This interview will debunk many commonly held myths about victims. Find out the truth about predatory behavior and pathological love relationships. Get your tickets through the link in the show notes. And if you’re hearing this after November 10, no worries. You can still purchase the video replay to keep in your library of mental health resources.

Book: Women Who Love Psychopaths

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is it too much masculine energy for women to protect their boundaries?

Thu, 03 Nov 2022 14:00:00 -0000

On social media, it’s gotten popular to discuss masculine and feminine energy. Boundaries have come under attack as something masculine.

In this episode, we will define what a personal boundary is and what makes healthy and unhealthy. We’ll also touch on why cheating happens in narcissistic and non-narcissistic relationships.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Could chronic stress or trauma be making me sick?

Mon, 31 Oct 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Why are we surprised that there is a mind-body connection? That what we experience, like abuse, will affect us physiologically?

We cover a lot of ground in this episode, including how we see the world blinds us from recognizing dangerous people, the possibility of having narcissism and other mental health conditions, and defining dog-whistling when it comes to abuse.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What is a Dark Triad Personality, and how dangerous is this person?

Thu, 27 Oct 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Have you heard of the Dark Triad Personality disorder? Some have suggested this is a new personality type.

In this episode, we are going to take a look at the makeup of this individual and why they pose such a risk to us. We’ll also discuss ambiguous grief and the importance of allowing ourselves to process all kinds of losses, even toxic relationships, safely.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Am I a bad friend if I shut someone down for talking about a toxic relationship?

Mon, 24 Oct 2022 14:00:00 -0000

It’s become popular to call it “trauma dumping” when someone talks about their abuse. But is that an accurate description? Might we be harming others when we pathologize their need to share?

In today’s episode, we’ll look closely at why victims tend to overshare traumatic experiences and how we can help support them in the healing process.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

I just left the narcissist; how do I stop this terrible pain?

Thu, 20 Oct 2022 14:00:00 -0000

I can’t even begin to describe the horrific pain I felt after leaving a narcissistically abusive relationship. The intense confusion, rage, sense of betrayal, and fear. Some have likened this stage to heroin withdrawal.

In this episode, we’ll talk about how to begin healing after leaving a toxic relationship. We’ll also touch if spirituality can save narcissists from this disorder and if the partner gets a better version of our narcissistic ex.

How He Gets Into Her Head: The Mind of a Male Intimate Abuser by Don Hennessy

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why doesn't my partner want sex? Is it because of women's sex drive?

Mon, 17 Oct 2022 14:00:00 -0000

There are many assumptions and myths about sexuality, especially regarding the differences between men and women. How does the objectification of women impact their sexuality, particularly their interest in sex? And what improves a couple’s connection when it comes to sex?

In this episode, we will be looking at some of the common dynamics that affect physical intimacy.

Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.

The Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch, Ph.D.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Isn't there any way to make leaving a narcissist easier?

Thu, 13 Oct 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Why do victims find it so hard to leave a difficult or toxic relationship? Conventional wisdom says it should be as simple as just leaving, but it’s not.

In this episode, we’ll explore the challenges victim face when trying to leave a narcissist or an even more dangerous type of person.

Insight is 20/20 by Chelli Pumphrey

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is this really abuse? Maybe my partner or parent just lacks kindness

Mon, 10 Oct 2022 14:00:00 -0000

What constitutes abuse? Have you ever stopped to consider the definition? Is it something that hurts a person’s feelings? In this episode, take a closer look at abuse and its subtleties. We’ll also discuss why narcissists often struggle to hold a job and the difference between narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic traits.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How can my narcissistic ex move on so easily after saying they loved me?

Thu, 06 Oct 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Victims spend a lot of time trying to make sense of what happened. This is understandable since doing an analysis is part of improving our sense of safety. It goes awry when it is based on the wrong information. Men and women view the world differently but so do narcissists and the rest of the population.

In this episode, we’ll take a closer look at these different frameworks and their impact on understanding ourselves and the world.

Learn more about Deborah Tannen’s work.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How does a narcissist or a psychopath differ? Aren't both abusive?

Mon, 03 Oct 2022 14:00:00 -0000

What is the difference between a narcissist and a psychopath? Do those characteristics matter if both groups are abusive?

In this episode, we’ll take a closer look at the core motivations and relationship styles of both groups as well as get into why a trauma bond is so challenging to break.

What is narcissistic abuse? Dr. Milstead’s proposed definition in PsychCentral

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

I think my partner is an addict. Will they become a narcissist too?

Thu, 29 Sep 2022 14:00:00 -0000

It’s not uncommon for narcissists to struggle with addictions, but it isn’t unusual for addicts to behave narcissistically. Does that mean those with addictions also have a personality disorder?

In this episode, we explore the effects of addiction on personality, the roots of narcissism, and if we should hold out hope for our narcissistic partner to make changes.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How could I've fallen for the narcissist's love-bombing tactics?

Mon, 26 Sep 2022 14:00:00 -0000

After an abusive relationship is over, most victims want to know how they couldn’t have fallen for the narcissist’s love-bombing. They often are blamed for missing the red flags, as if they were naive or, worse yet, stupid.

In this episode, we’ll analyze the five elements of love-bombing and what makes each of these strategies so effective

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What's wrong with me? Why isn't my partner interested in sex?

Thu, 22 Sep 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Sexual intimacy is a common problem in narcissistically abusive relationships. It's often a sign that the narcissist is becoming disillusioned.

In this episode, we address why some couples experience a loss of sexual interest in the bedroom. We'll also explore the defense mechanisms narcissists prefer to use, why hoovering is so prevalent, and what causes so many victims to fear romantic relationships after abuse.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What emotional voodoo has the narcissist used to keep me trapped?

Mon, 19 Sep 2022 14:00:00 -0000

During the last months of narcissistic abuse, I knew I was in trouble, yet I couldn’t leave. The paralysis was palpable. A physical pain. In this episode, we’ll explore the psychological reinforcement style used and why this is so paralyzing.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

If narcissists are born this way, are they responsible for the abuse?

Thu, 15 Sep 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Research confirms that narcissism is primarily a biosocial problem, meaning narcissists are born with personality deficits. Is it fair to hold them accountable for the damage they cause? We’ll explore this topic in depth in this podcast episode.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Should I let my narcissistic ex come back and be a part of the family?

Mon, 12 Sep 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Narcissistic exes often return, claiming they’ve changed. They ask to be in a relationship or to rejoin the family. In narcissistic abuse circles, this is called “hoovering.”

In this podcast episode, we’ll explore if agreeing to this request is wise, define “breadcrumbing,” and take a closer look at the connection between gaslighting and cognitive dissonance.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why do we keep picking dangerous people as romantic partners?

Thu, 08 Sep 2022 14:00:00 -0000

The bad boy stereotype is well-known and, unfortunately, too often true. So why do some of us repeatedly get into a relationship with someone dangerous?

In this podcast, we’ll take a closer look at how we confuse intensity for attraction, the ten different personality disorders, and the common problem of the non-apology apology.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What's wrong with me? Why I can't I leave this toxic relationship?

Thu, 01 Sep 2022 14:00:00 -0000

A trauma bond is a fear-based connection between abusers and victims. Combine that with the mental confusion of cognitive dissonance, and the victim is stuck.

In this podcast episode, we’ll examine why this powerful dynamic makes it so difficult to leave. We’ll also cover the five types of narcissists and the difference between overt and covert narcissism.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

My partner tells me I'm the problem. How do I know I'm not being gaslit?

Mon, 29 Aug 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Gaslighting has become a pretty popular term. Sometimes it’s used properly, but not always. Gaslighting, however, is a common experience of narcissistic abuse victims.

In this episode, we’ll discuss the history of gaslighting as well as how it shows up in toxic relationships. We’ll also touch on when does the first symptoms of narcissism make its appearance and how to address our children’s confusion about an uninvolved or missing parent.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is the term narcissism being overused? Aren't all of us a bit narcissistic?

Thu, 25 Aug 2022 14:00:00 -0000

With the popularity of social media's focus on narcissism, are we overusing the term? Isn’t everyone a little bit narcissistic? In this episode, we will explore what defines pathological narcissism as well as how to deal with narcissistic loved ones and family members.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The trauma bonding has me trapped, and I don't know how to leave!

Mon, 22 Aug 2022 14:00:00 -0000

There’s nothing worse than knowing you’re in a bad relationship but can’t leave. What is a trauma bond, and why does it make acting on our behalf so difficult?

In this podcast episode, we’ll explore the role mental confusion and fear play in creating an intense bond with the one harming us.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Can't a narcissist be changed by love or God?

Thu, 18 Aug 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Most of the time, our everyday problem-solving skills work, but not for those stranded in toxic relationships. In this podcast episode, we will delve into why our love or spiritual intervention often doesn’t help.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How I became confused and trapped because of cognitive dissonance

Mon, 15 Aug 2022 14:00:00 -0000

I drove to my therapy appointment four years ago, praying and pleading for answers. Something was terribly wrong in my marriage. Should I stay? Or was I being naive for believing our relationship could be fixed?

In this podcast episode, I share more of my story and what I know now and wish I’d known then.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

I know I should leave this toxic relationship but why can't I?

Thu, 11 Aug 2022 14:00:00 -0000

What makes it so difficult to leave a toxic relationship? This question is the one I most frequently get asked. So why don’t those trapped in a narcissistically abusive relationship walk out? In this episode, we will discuss the underlying dynamics that make it challenging to end a toxic relationship.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is all this talk about narcissism good? Isn't it demonizing hurting people?

Mon, 08 Aug 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Is all of this focus on narcissism and narcissists productive? Isn’t it attacking a broken group of people? Could we be demonizing them?

In this episode, I tackle this tough topic, the difference between a mental condition and a personality disorder, how to recognize a toxic person on the first meeting, and what to do about a smear campaign.

Women Who Love Psychopaths by Sandra L. Brown

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How do I know I've healed enough from abuse to start dating again?

Thu, 04 Aug 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Surviving narcissistic abuse is tough enough. How do we know when we are ready to start date again? What are the red flags we should watch out for so we don’t end up in another toxic relationship? In this episode, we will tackle this topic as well as the importance of learning to listen to your gut and why narcissists give such mixed signals.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Something is really wrong with this relationship, could I be the narcissist?

Mon, 01 Aug 2022 14:00:00 -0000

When relationships start to go wrong, it’s common for us to wonder if we’re the problem. Especially if there’s been a string of failed relationships. In this replay of a TikTok live, we will take a closer look at this issue as well as discuss how to resolve a trauma bond and start our healing after narcissistic abuse.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Help, I'm married to a narcissist and don't know how to get out

Thu, 28 Jul 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Most of us slowly realize something is wrong in a relationship. We often think the problems are a normal part of a new relationship—we don’t consider that maybe the problem isn’t us but our partner. What should we do when we realize we are in a relationship with a narcissist? How do we get out? In this replay of a TikTok live, we will explore what to do when we feel stuck in a destructive relationship, why we gaslight victims instead of hold predators responsible for their behaviors, dealing with a gaslighting co-parent and a vengeful partner, and finally some discussion on using the Gray Rock technique.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is there something wrong with me for falling in love with a narcissist?

Mon, 25 Jul 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Nearly every abuse survivor wants to know why they got into a relationship with a narcissist. Are we co-dependent, people-pleasers or could there be another dynamic in play?

In this episode we’ll talk about the latest research into this area as well as discuss the definition of marital coercion and how to grow empathy in our children.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Wondering if you met your soulmate? Here's how narcissists make us fall in love

Thu, 21 Jul 2022 14:00:00 -0000

If narcissists are such awful people, why have so many fallen in love with one? It’s because of the mask. They create an illusion that you’ve met someone just like you. In this episode, we will explore how this happens along with other common narcissistic tactics in this replay of a TikTok live.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

I think this relationship is killing me. Why does it feel heartless to set boundaries?

Mon, 18 Jul 2022 14:00:00 -0000

We often know something is terribly wrong with our relationship. Yet, many abuse survivors struggle to set boundaries. In this episode, we’ll take a closer look at why it’s challenging to do so for victims along with other topics, including how to help a friend who’s being abused and my post-trial thoughts on Amber Heard and Johnny Depp.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why can't I tell if I'm in a relationship with someone good or bad?

Thu, 14 Jul 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Narcissistic abuse victims’ biggest complaint is the confusion. They can’t tell if they have partnered with someone who’s good or bad. In this episode, we’re going to explore what creates the narcissist’s dual sense of self.

Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by Dr. David Schnarch

NarcAvengers' Durham Meet-Up

Are you feeling trapped in a toxic relationship?

Then this is the event for you! Come hear Dr. Milstead define cognitive dissonance and why it renders us helpless in this upcoming live event, "Why Can't I Just Leave?" August 18, 6:30 p.m. EST

Get your ticket to the Cognitive Dissonance Live Webinar with Dr. Kristen Milstead!

Are you looking for community support after narcissistic abuse? Check out Dr. McAvoy's Toxic-Free Relationship Club!

Want to read a true story of narcissistic abuse?

LOVE YOU MORE: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross

Available here at the following online stores.

And be sure to sign up for Dr. McAvoy's 50 free Surviving Narcissism tips & exercises!

Consider donating the cost of a cup of coffee to support this podcast!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

If it’s that bad, why don’t narcissistic abuse victims just leave?

Mon, 11 Jul 2022 14:00:00 -0000

It takes the average narcissistic victim an average of seven tries before they are able to leave. I contemplated abandoning the relationship for a long time before I finally was able to. Why are these toxic relationships so difficult to end?

As mention in this episode, here are the channels of Sam Vaknin and Dr. Ramani. Here are the books referred to: Something’s Not Right by Wade Mullen and Sandra Brown: Women Who Love Psychopaths

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why is it so hard to please someone narcissistic? Am I the problem?

Thu, 07 Jul 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Have you noticed how difficult it is to manage relationships with a narcissist? Why do things seem to go wrong? Could we be the problem hoping that they would change? What is the cognitive dissonance, the Marsha Mitchell effect, the mask of sanity? We will tackle this issue in a replay of a TikTok live.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Do narcissists know they're hurting those who love them? Do they even care?

Thu, 30 Jun 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Are narcissists aware they are hurting me? Why are they so ruthless? In this episode, we will take a closer look at the predatory nature of many narcissists and sociopaths.

Kolhberg's Theory of Moral Development

Are you feeling trapped in a toxic relationship?

Then this IS the event for you! Come hear Dr. Milstead define cognitive dissonance and why it renders us helpless in this upcoming live event, "Why Can't I Just Leave?" August 18, 6:30 p.m. EST

Be sure to get your ticket today!

Are you looking for community support after narcissistic abuse? Check out Dr. McAvoy's Toxic-Free Relationship Club!

Want to read a true story of narcissistic abuse?

LOVE YOU MORE: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross

Available here at the following online stores.

And be sure to sign up for Dr. McAvoy's 50 free Surviving Narcissism tips & exercises!

Consider donating the cost of a cup of coffee to support this podcast!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What should I do when a narcissistic family member starts to make trouble?

Mon, 27 Jun 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Do you have a narcissistic family member? Someone who frequently stirs up trouble? Or maybe they insist on doing things their way. What's the best way to navigate these tricky dysfunctional family relationships? We will be addressing this issue on this replay of a TikTok live.

Passive-Aggressive Compliment Video

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

To avoid being lovebombed by a narcissist, how much is too much to share?

Fri, 24 Jun 2022 14:00:00 -0000

When we meet someone new how much should we share? Predatory people use basic details to create their mask during initial meetings. Should we be more careful in what we reveal to prevent lovebombing? In this episode we will discuss this and other topics on this replay of a TikTok live.

Ego Strength video

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Are narcissists different than the rest of us? Might they be evil?

Mon, 20 Jun 2022 14:00:00 -0000

The latest research has found the brain of narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths to be different, causing them not to see the world differently. In this episode we will tackle this difficult topic, including if it's going too far to call narcissists' behavior evil.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

How could I be so stupid to have missed the red flags?

Fri, 17 Jun 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Why did we miss the early warning signs that we've met a toxic person? It's common to blame ourselves for this mistake. Most of us, however, don't think to analyze a person's ego strength, but maybe we should. Let's take a closer look at issue in this episode of TikTok live replay.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is it my fault that I'm trapped in a narcissistic abusive relationship?

Mon, 13 Jun 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Are victims to blame for getting trapped in a narcissistic abusive relationship. And why do we struggle to hold healthy boundaries? These are a couple of the issues addressed in this podcast episode.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What should I do if my children are protective of the toxic ex-parent?

Mon, 06 Jun 2022 14:00:00 -0000

In this episode we will review Dr. Milstead's definition of narcissistic abuse along with address how to handle the tricky situation of co-parenting with a toxic parent.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Am I a narcissist if I want to be special? To have others understand me?

Fri, 03 Jun 2022 14:00:00 -0000

How do we find support when we come from a narcissistic home? Is it wrong to want to be seen as special? These are the types of questions addressed in this podcast episode.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Could this friendship be narcissistic or does abuse only happen in love relationships?

Tue, 31 May 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Does narcissistic abuse only happen in love relationships or can it happen in other kinds of relationships or communities? Dr. McAvoy tackles this question in this episode.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What’s wrong with me that I can’t leave this toxic relationship?

Fri, 27 May 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Why is it so hard to leave a toxic relationship? What does a trauma bond have to do with it? Dr. McAvoy addresses this issue in this episode.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Could I be the one with the problem? Maybe I'm overreacting.

Mon, 23 May 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Do you wonder if you're being too sensitive? Maybe you're overreacting to your partner's behavior. Perhaps you're the one with the problem. In this episode, Dr. McAvoy answers these and TikTok listeners' other questions about narcissism and narcissistic abuse.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

My narcissistic partner says they're working hard to change. Am I silly to believe them?

Fri, 20 May 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Do narcissists change? What realizable expectations should we have? In this episode, we will address this question along with other listener-related concerns.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Help! My ex is using the legal system to abuse me!

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:00:00 -0000

Narcissistic abuse doesn't end when the relationship is over. Many narcissistic exes find new ways to abuse their former partners, including using the legal system. In this episode of a TikTok live replay, we will explore how to protect yourself better, along with addressing other listeners' questions.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

I’m stressed and overwhelmed--is this cognitive dissonance?

Fri, 13 May 2022 19:00:00 -0000

What is cognitive dissonance? Victims of narcissistic abuse complain that they are in agonizing pain due to this psychological state. In this episode, we'll take a closer look at this psychological concept along with answering other TikTok audiences' questions.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Am I co-dependent if I've fallen for a narcissist?

Mon, 09 May 2022 19:00:00 -0000

Have you wondered what's wrong with you for falling for a narcissist? Listen as we discuss this along with other topics related to narcissistic abuse.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Who's more narcissistic: men or women?

Fri, 06 May 2022 19:00:00 -0000

In this episode, we will explore the gender differences among NPD, define what is a narcissistic discard, and identify the early signs of grooming.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is this “thing” I feel what's called a trauma bond?

Mon, 02 May 2022 19:00:00 -0000

In this episode, we take a closer look at trauma bonds as well as explore several excellent resources on understanding the ins & outs of toxic relationships.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Is this relationship asking too much of me?

Fri, 29 Apr 2022 19:00:00 -0000

What's reasonable to expect from a relationship? How do you know when you're giving too much of yourself or doing too much for another person? Listen in as we explore these and other questions in today's episode.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why can't I relax after surviving narcissistic abuse?

Mon, 25 Apr 2022 19:00:00 -0000

Are you struggling to slow down, unwind, and relax? Are you easily startled? These are signs of an overexcited nervous system and common after narcissistic abuse.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What? I have basic emotional rights?

Fri, 22 Apr 2022 19:00:00 -0000

Did you know you have basic emotional rights? Today, we explore an emotional Bill of Rights created by Dr. Lindsay Gibson. You can find a copy of those rights in her book called Self Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Are you being groomed by a narcissist?

Mon, 18 Apr 2022 19:00:00 -0000

In this episode Dr. McAvoy addresses many issues, including the process of how narcissists groom their next victim.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Managing Healthy Boundaries: What are They?

Fri, 15 Apr 2022 03:34:00 -0000

In this episode, we discuss boundaries in narcissistic abuse.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse (Trailer)

Thu, 14 Apr 2022 03:34:47 -0000

Trailer for Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).