We cover:

• Redefining “slut” (and taking your power back). Why being a “slut” has nothing to do with numbers and everything to do with ownership, desire, and self-expression.
• Why shame is the biggest block to good sex. How internalized shame shapes your sex life more than your actual experiences, and how to start unlearning it.
• What it really means to explore your sexuality. Moving beyond performative sex into curiosity, experimentation, and figuring out what actually feels good for you.
• The pressure to be “good” in bed (and why it backfires). How trying to meet expectations kills connection and pleasure, and what to focus on instead.
• Communication that actually makes sex better. Why being honest about your wants, turn-ons, and boundaries is the key to more satisfying sex.
• Letting go of labels and rigid sexual identities. How loosening your grip on labels can create more freedom, flexibility, and fun in your sex life.
• Permission to want what you want. The core of this conversation: you’re allowed to desire, to explore, and to define your sex life on your own terms.

Connect with Zach:

• Buy his book "Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto" HERE!
• Visit his website HERE 

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠

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The Question: “Why do I enjoy sex more alone than with my boyfriend?”

What We Cover:

• Why sex feels better alone than with your partner. Breaking down the very real (and very common) experience of enjoying solo sex more and why it doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong with you or your relationship.
• What actually makes the difference: intentional, pressure-free pleasure vs rushed, performative sex. Why solo sex often includes more time, curiosity, and attention to your body while partnered sex can feel goal-oriented, fast, or just plain shitty.
• You know your body, your partner might not. How years of self-exploration give you an advantage and why many partners haven’t developed the same level of sexual awareness or skill.
• Why so much sex doesn’t actually center your pleasure. Unpacking how penetration-focused sex, lack of communication, and porn-influenced expectations can leave you feeling unsatisfied.
• The impact of feeling unseen, unheard, or disappointed in bed. How repeated experiences of being rushed, overlooked, or not fully considered can train your body to prefer solo sex.
• Solo sex is real sex. Reframing masturbation as a valid, fulfilling part of your sex life that doesn’t need to compete with or be replaced by partnered sex.
• How to use what works alone to improve partnered sex. Practical ways to bring your self-knowledge into the bedroom with your partner.

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠

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We Cover:

• Why great sex is a learned skill, not something you’re just “good at.” Breaking down the myth that sex should come naturally and why education, practice, and communication matter.
• How to figure out what you actually want in bed. Simple ways to explore your desires, preferences, and turn-ons without shame or pressure.
• The biggest communication mistakes couples make about sex. Why avoiding conversations leads to disconnection and how to start talking about sex in a way that feels safe and productive.
• How to ask for what you want without feeling awkward or rejected. Practical tools for expressing needs, giving feedback, and building confidence when communicating about sex.
• Why desire can feel confusing or inconsistent in relationships. Understanding different desire styles and why your sex drive might not work the way you think it should.
• How to create more satisfying and connected sex in long-term relationships. Small shifts that can make a big difference in intimacy, pleasure, and emotional connection.
• What’s getting in the way of your sex life (and how to start shifting it). Common blockers like stress, shame, and unrealistic expectations, and how to work through them in real life.

Connect with Dr. Tara by buying her book "How Do You Like It" HERE, following her on Instagram HERE, or going to her website HERE!

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠

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We Cover:

• What “normal labor” actually looks like (and why it’s more flexible than you think). Breaking down the stages of labor, timelines, and variations so you understand what’s typical, what’s not, and why there’s a wide range of normal when it comes to childbirth.
• How to advocate for yourself during labor and delivery in a medical system that can feel overwhelming. What informed consent really means, how to ask questions, and how to feel more in control of your birth experience even in high-pressure or emergency situations.
• The biggest myths about birth and pregnancy on social media (and what’s actually evidence-based). Separating fear-based narratives and misinformation from real medical guidance so you can make decisions rooted in facts, not that random TikTok you saw while doom scrolling.
• Your options during labor: inductions, C-sections, epidurals, and everything in between. A clear, judgment-free breakdown of common interventions, what they involve, and how to decide what’s right for you and your body.
• What happens when things don’t go according to plan (and how to navigate unexpected outcomes). Understanding complications, emergency scenarios, and how to mentally and emotionally prepare for the unpredictable nature of birth.
• How to approach decision-making when labor isn’t progressing as expected. Exploring how providers assess labor in real time, what “not progressing” actually means, and how to stay informed instead of rushed or pressured.
• Why so many people still feel unprepared for birth (even after doing all the research). How overwhelming information, lack of clear guidance, and mixed messaging can still leave you feeling unsure going into labor.

Connect with Dr. Lincoln by buying "The Birth Book" and following her in Instagram.

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠

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The Question: “All my friends talk about how amazing their sex lives are, and meanwhile my partner and I are struggling. It’s starting to make me feel like something is wrong with me or our relationship. We’ve been together a couple years… is it normal to have this many issues or is this a red flag?”

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Why it feels like everyone else is having better sex than you. The truth about comparison, what people don’t share about their sex lives, and how this impacts your confidence.
• What are actual red flags in a sex life vs normal relationship struggles. How to tell the difference between fixable intimacy issues and deeper problems like lack of care, effort, or emotional connection.
• Why your sex life might not feel good (and it’s not your fault). How poor sex education, lack of communication, and not knowing your own desires can create a disconnect in the bedroom.
• How to figure out what you like sexually. Practical ways to explore desire, including solo play, Want/Will/Won’t lists, and expanding your understanding of pleasure.
• How to communicate about sex without making it awkward. Simple ways to talk about turn-ons, turn-offs, and different desire styles like responsive vs spontaneous desire.
• How to improve your sex life and feel more connected to your partner. Taking pressure off, redefining what sex means beyond penetration, and creating a version of intimacy that actually works for you.

FREE "Want, Will, Won't List" here!

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

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This week, we’re joined by Jana Danielson, founder of Bloom Better, a longtime Pilates instructor, pelvic floor educator, and creator of the Cooch Ball, a pelvic floor fitness tool designed to help people reconnect with their bodies.

Jana shares her personal journey from years of chronic pain and medical dismissal to becoming a leader in pelvic floor education. We talk about why pelvic floor health matters for everything from core strength to sexual pleasure, how shame has kept many of us disconnected from this part of our body, and the small things you can start doing today to support pelvic floor health.

We cover:

• Jana’s journey from chronic pain to pelvic floor advocacy. How years of unexplained pain, medication, and medical dismissal led Jana to explore movement, Pilates, and the pelvic floor as a path toward healing.
• Why the pelvic floor is so misunderstood. How shame, lack of education, and gaps in traditional health care have left many people disconnected from this important part of their anatomy.
• The role the pelvic floor plays in pleasure and sexual function. Why pelvic floor health impacts arousal, orgasm, and sensation more than most people realize.
• How movement and breath affect pelvic floor health. The connection between the nervous system, breath, posture, and pelvic floor engagement.
• Common pelvic floor issues many people experience. From tension and pain to weakness and lack of awareness, and why these challenges are more common than most people think.
• How Pilates and body awareness can improve pelvic floor function. Why strengthening, relaxing, and reconnecting with the pelvic floor can transform both physical comfort and sexual wellbeing.
• The inspiration behind the Cooch Ball. How Jana created the first pelvic floor fitness tool designed specifically to help people release tension and reconnect with their pelvic floor.
• Why pelvic floor care matters at every stage of life. From postpartum recovery to aging and menopause, and why this part of the body deserves attention long before problems show up.

CLICK HERE to get your own Cooch Ball! 

Connect with Jana on Instagram or TikTok.

⁠Interested in 1:1 coaching with Cass & Em? Book a FREE strategy sesh HERE!⁠⁠

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We talk about why arousal takes time, how the body physically changes during sexual stimulation, and why expanding our understanding of pleasure anatomy can completely transform the sexual experience for both partners.

If you’ve ever wondered why foreplay matters so much, why stimulation can feel different depending on arousal levels, or how to create more pleasure in partnered sex, this conversation is for you Honey Bun.

We Cover:

• The vulva’s erectile tissue system. Why arousal involves far more anatomy than just the clitoris and how engorgement changes sensation.
• How arousal physically changes the body. What actually happens to the vulva and vaginal tissues during sexual stimulation and why time and blood flow matter.
• Why many people with vulvas struggle to feel enough stimulation during sex. How misunderstandings about pleasure anatomy can lead to rushed arousal and less pleasurable experiences.
• The role of engorgement in pleasure. Why the body needs time and stimulation for tissues to swell and become more sensitive.
• How to build stronger arousal before penetration. Why extended stimulation and touch can dramatically change sensation and comfort.
• Understanding different pleasure pathways. How different types of stimulation activate different parts of the vulva and internal erectile tissue system.
• Why sex education often gets vulva anatomy wrong. The cultural and educational gaps that leave many people confused about how pleasure actually works in these bodies.
• How partners can support deeper pleasure. Simple mindset shifts that help couples slow down and explore arousal more intentionally.

Resources:

• drivedesire.com 
• expandherorgasmtonight.com
• 1:1 coaching with Cass & Em. Book a FREE strategy sesh HERE!⁠⁠

About Susan Bratton:

Susan Bratton is a globally recognized intimacy expert, educator, and advocate for pleasure-positive sexuality. She has spent decades teaching people how to expand their understanding of arousal, connection, and pleasure in long-term relationships.

Susan is known for translating complex sexual health concepts into practical, approachable tools that help couples experience more intimacy, communication, and satisfaction in their sex lives.

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• What “daughtering” actually means. Why the role of daughter is rarely talked about but deeply shapes our identities, responsibilities, and expectations in families.
• The invisible labor daughters often carry. How emotional support, family coordination, and relational maintenance quietly fall on daughters.
• Why being a “good daughter” becomes tied to self-worth. How many women internalize the idea that being available, supportive, and reliable is what makes them worthy.
• The pressure of family expectations. Why daughters often feel responsible for maintaining harmony, showing up for everyone, and never dropping the ball.
• The shift from “perfect daughter” to “good enough daughter.” A simple reframe that helps reduce the pressure and unrealistic standards so many of us carry.
• How daughterhood affects romantic relationships. Why carrying too much emotional labor in family dynamics can leave women feeling mentally tapped out and impact desire and intimacy.
• Why partnership and delegation matter. How allowing siblings or partners to share emotional responsibilities can relieve pressure and strengthen relationships.
• Setting boundaries with family members. Practical ways to decide what you are and are not willing to discuss and how to communicate those boundaries clearly.
• Preparing for difficult family conversations. Why going into family interactions with a plan can help prevent frustration and resentment.
• How to start reshaping your role as a daughter. Small mindset shifts that help relieve some pressure while still maintaining connection with family.

Connect with Dr. Allison Alford
Learn more about Dr. Alford’s research on daughterhood and family communication on her website or by listening her podcast Hello Mother, Hello Daughter, where she explores the mother-daughter relationship through both academic insight and lived experience. You can also purchase a copy of her book "Good Daughtering" HERE!

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The Question: "Is there a way for someone with responsive desire to initiate sex? Do you have any recommendations?"

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Can you initiate with responsive desire? Yes. Initiation does not have to mean you are ready for sex right away. This episode explores how people with responsive desire can start connection in ways that feel safe, honest, and pressure-free.

• What responsive desire actually means. Why some people need emotional or mental build-up before physical arousal, and how explaining your “longer runway” can change the way your partner understands intimacy.

• The fear of being a tease or changing your mind. A real conversation about hesitation around initiating, including the pressure to follow through and how to reframe initiation as starting foreplay, not promising sex.

• How to talk about initiation with your partner. Scripts and examples for getting on the same page about timelines, expectations, and what initiating looks like when you need more build-up before intimacy.

• Creative ways to initiate without pressure. From morning cuddles and daytime flirting to teasing PDA and slow-burn make-outs, we share playful techniques that help build anticipation while honoring responsive desire.

• You are not too much for needing more. A reminder that responsive desire is valid, that foreplay and communication create better sex for everyone, and that your needs matter whether you are dating, single, or in a long-term relationship.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

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The Question:
“I’ve been with my boyfriend for a while now, and the sex… it’s just not great. It’s not that we don’t like each other, but it just feels off. I want to be honest, I just don’t know how to approach it, so please HELP!”

We cover:

• Questions to ask yourself first. How to figure out whether the issue is chemistry, communication, expectations, or simply not knowing what you actually want yet.

• Expert tips for talking about sex with a partner. Ways to start the conversation without triggering shame, defensiveness, or pressure so it feels collaborative instead of critical.

• How to give honest feedback without being harsh. Why tone, timing, and framing matter and how to express your needs in a way that builds connection instead of distance.

• What giving feedback in the moment can look like. Small language shifts that help guide your partner without turning sex into a performance review.

• Why being “bad at sex” is more normal than you think. How most people never receive real sex education and why awkwardness is part of learning, not a sign of incompatibility.

• The difference between skill issues and deeper mismatches. How to tell when something can grow with communication versus when values, desire, or attraction might not align.

• Permission to outgrow sexual dynamics that don’t feel good. Why it is okay to want more pleasure, more effort, or a different kind of connection.

• When it might be time to leave. A grounded conversation about recognizing when the sexual disconnect reflects a bigger relationship issue and giving yourself permission to choose what feels right for you.

⁠⁠⁠⁠Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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We cover:

• How pressure kills intimacy. What happens when sex becomes another expectation instead of a point of connection.
• Why resentment shows up in the bedroom. How unequal labor, emotional disconnect, and unspoken needs quietly erode desire.
• How to rebuild emotional and physical intimacy. Practical ways to reconnect that do not rely on forcing desire or “trying harder.”
• Why sex changes so much after kids. Rebecca explains how exhaustion, mental load, and identity shifts directly impact desire and arousal.
• The difference between low desire and low capacity. Why many parents still want sex but feel too depleted to access it.
• Understanding desire differences after parenthood. Why mismatched desire is common and not a sign something is wrong with your relationship.
• Why scheduling intimacy can actually help. How planning connection creates safety and reduces pressure instead of killing spontaneity.
• The importance of redefining sex after kids. Moving beyond penetration-focused sex and expanding what intimacy can look like now.
• How to talk about sex without blame or defensiveness. Language shifts that help couples feel like teammates again.

Connect with Rebecca:

• BUY HER BOOK HERE!
• Visit her website HERE!
• Follow her on Instagram HERE!
• Listen to her podcast HERE!

⁠⁠⁠Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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We cover:

• Why sexual health is a health issue, not a vanity issue. Dr. Justin explains why pleasure, performance, and function are often early indicators of deeper health patterns.
• What erections can reveal about cardiovascular health. How nighttime erections are connected to blood flow and heart health long before other symptoms appear.
• Why men’s sexual health is often ignored until there’s a crisis. How stigma and silence delay diagnosis and meaningful conversations.
• The science behind nocturnal erections. What’s normal, what’s not, and why the body’s nighttime patterns matter.
• How data can change the way couples talk about sex. Why shared, objective information can reduce shame, blame, and guesswork in the bedroom.
• The role of technology in modern sexual wellness. How tools like FirmTech are bringing measurable insights into intimacy and performance.
• Why early awareness matters more than quick fixes. How prevention and understanding beat waiting for symptoms or relying on temporary solutions.

Use code "DEWME" for a discount at FirmTech!

⁠⁠⁠Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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The Question: "I’m 22 and in my first long-term relationship with a partner I truly love. Everything is healthy and supportive, but I’ve noticed I’ve started deferring to his routines and preferences instead of my own. I miss parts of myself, like how I used to spend my free time and make plans just for me. How do I stay true to myself while still making room for my relationship?"

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Losing yourself in a relationship. Why this is common in early long-term relationships and how it can happen even when the partnership is healthy and loving.

• Staying true to yourself while partnered. Why maintaining your own identity, routines, and desires takes intention in a committed relationship.

• People-pleasing and resentment. How deferring to a partner’s needs and preferences can slowly lead to disconnection and frustration.

• Identifying what you’ve stopped prioritizing. How to recognize the hobbies, values, and personal time that have taken a backseat.

• Solo needs vs relationship needs. Understanding the difference between individual fulfillment and shared intimacy in a long-term relationship.

• How to communicate your needs. Practical language for talking to your partner about independence, boundaries, and personal time without blame.

• Following through with boundaries. Why awareness isn’t enough and how to actually implement change in your daily life.

• Rebuilding a relationship with yourself. Why solo time, self-dates, and personal routines support emotional health and relationship satisfaction.

• Why this improves intimacy. How staying connected to yourself strengthens attraction, communication, and long-term relationship success.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠

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We Cover:

• Why most of us are still “miseducated” about sex. Tash breaks down the gaps in traditional sex education and how they shape shame, confusion, and silence.
• How shame disconnects us from desire. Why feeling awkward, guilty, or “behind” is incredibly common and not a personal failure.
• What it actually means to be shamelessly sexy. Moving beyond performative confidence and into self-trust, curiosity, and ownership.
• The role of self-reflection in sexual confidence. Why understanding your own patterns, turn-ons, and boundaries changes everything.
• How journaling can transform your relationship with sex. Tash shares how intentional reflection helps women access desire, clarity, and agency.
• Why desire changes and how to work with it. Normalizing libido shifts and learning to stay connected to pleasure across life stages.
• How to build a healthier relationship with your body. Tools for getting out of comparison and back into embodied experience.
• Creating space for pleasure without pressure. Why slowing down and listening to yourself is more effective than “trying harder.”
• What women actually need more of in sex education. And why access to better tools leads to better relationships, communication, and confidence.

Connect With Tash:

Misseducated

The Intimacy Journal 

These Perfectly Careless Things

Website

Connect with Us:

⁠⁠Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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This episode is about when sex starts to feel like something you’re doing because you’re supposed to. Going through the motions. Having sex because it feels expected. Checking boxes. Trying to be a good partner. Forcing yourself to want it. And still wondering why it doesn’t feel good.

We cover:

• Doing what you think you’re supposed to do. Why “good partner” sex often disconnects you from what you actually want and feel.
• Going through the motions. How routine, obligation, and autopilot sex quietly drains desire.
• Having sex because it feels expected. Why expectation creates pressure and shuts desire down.
• Checking boxes instead of tuning in. How tracking frequency, effort, or outcomes pulls you out of connection.
• Forcing yourself to want it. Why trying to manufacture desire backfires.
• Trying to be a good partner. How people-pleasing and self-abandonment show up in sex.
• Wondering why it still doesn’t feel good. Why “fine” sex can still feel empty and what actually changes that.

Get your FREE Want, Will, Won't list in our Linktree HERE!

Connect with Us:

⁠Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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In Part 1, we dive into the deeper reframes that make great sex possible in real, long-term relationships. Especially when bodies change, desire shifts, and life gets full. If you’ve ever felt broken, behind, or like you’re doing sex “wrong,” this episode is for you.

We cover:

• You’re not doing it wrong. Why most people are measuring their sex lives against unrealistic standards and how that comparison quietly kills desire.
• You’re not broken. How shame becomes the biggest blocker to pleasure and what actually helps rebuild confidence over time.
• Responsive desire is normal. Why many people need time, safety, and context to get in the mood and why taking your damn time matters.
• You will never crave sex you don’t enjoy. How pushing through unenjoyable sex trains avoidance and what supports genuine desire instead.
• Redefining what sex means. Why orgasm and penetration cannot be the only goals and how expanding your definition creates more connection and satisfaction.
• Going back to the basics. Why simple, playful touch like dry humping, fingering, and hand jobs are lost arts that often work better than what we deem "full sex."
• Creating safety, fun, and structure. How scheduling intimacy, setting containers, using games, and talking about turn-ons builds trust, playfulness, and long-term connection.

Connect with Us:

Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.

⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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If you’ve ever been curious, nervous, or just plain intrigued, this episode is your first step.

We cover:

• What it’s really like getting into a sex club for the first time, from check-in to the full tour

• The rules, boundaries, and consent culture (and why they made us feel safer than expected)

• How the club is set up and how different spaces are used

• What we saw, what we participated in, and what we chose not to do

• Our biggest takeaways and practical tips for other sex club first-timers

Whether you’re seriously considering going or just want the inside scoop, this episode answers the questions everyone has but rarely asks.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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We cover:

• Why sex worker rights affect everyone. How laws and stigma aimed at sex workers quietly erode rights for all women.
• What moral panics actually do. Why fear-based narratives around sex are so effective and so dangerous.
• The historical roots of sex work criminalization. How policy has long been used to control women’s bodies, labor, and sexuality.
• Why “good girl vs bad girl” thinking still shapes policy. And how that mindset limits freedom far beyond sex work.
• The difference between protection and control. Why many laws framed as “safety” measures actually increase harm.
• How storytelling changes public opinion. Why human stories are one of the most powerful tools for policy change.
• What sex worker rights teach us about bodily autonomy. Consent, agency, and who gets to decide what women do with their bodies.
• Why this conversation matters now. How current cultural and political shifts are putting foundational freedoms at risk.
• How to learn more and get involved. Ways to support sex worker rights through education, advocacy, and listening.

Kaytlin Bailey is the Founder & Executive Director at Old Pros, a nonprofit that uses storytelling to advocate for sex worker rights. She hosts The Oldest Profession Podcast and is touring the live show The Oldest Profession. Follow @oldprosonline — Email Newsletter | Instagram | X

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠

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The Question: "I'm a 35yo woman who’s been married to a really good guy for the last seven years. He never pressures me or anything, but every time I don’t want sex, I instantly feel like i’m being a shitty wife. I know that’s some leftover ‘good girl / keep your man happy’ garbage, but the guilt is still really loud. How do I stop feeling like I’m failing him every time I’m not horny?"

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Why you never owe anyone sex. Why consent and desire are required every single time, even in a loving and committed marriage.
• Where the guilt comes from. How “good girl conditioning” teaches us to prioritize a partner’s pleasure over our own boundaries.
• Obligation sex vs wanted sex. Why a supportive partner should only want intimacy you are genuinely excited about, not sex given out of pressure.
• How guilt impacts pleasure and connection. How anxiety, obligation, and performance mindset shut down arousal and make sex feel high stakes.
• What happens when you keep overriding your no’s. Why ignoring your boundaries leads to resentment, disconnect, and a shrinking desire for sex.
• Rewriting what it means to be a good partner. Why your value is not based on a penis ejaculating, and how honoring your needs strengthens intimacy.
• How to support your own desire and autonomy. Tools and mindset shifts to release pressure, protect your no’s, and show up with real desire when it is there.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠

⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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We cover:

• How Chinese medicine understands sex and pleasure. Jaiming explains why sexual health is seen as a major indicator of overall wellbeing, not an isolated issue.
• Why pain during sex is never “just in your head”. How TCM views dryness, pelvic pain, tension, and discomfort and why it’s almost always linked to imbalance, depletion, or circulation issues.
• Understanding libido changes. How arousal, desire, and lubrication map to warmth, energy, and hormonal patterns + how aging, stress, lifestyle, and depletion impact the body.
• ED from a TCM perspective. Why erections are about circulation, warmth, and “yang energy,” and what it means when interest and performance don’t match.
• Tongue diagnosis and what it reveals about your sex life. Yes, your tongue really can show dryness, heat, coldness, stress patterns, or issues affecting libido.
• Why stress and exhaustion shut down desire. How nervous system overload, burnout, and irregular routines drain the body’s resources and impact arousal.
• Practical pleasure support from a Chinese medicine lens. Food, warmth, routines, habits, and small changes that help your body feel safer, softer, and more responsive during sex.
• How to support long-term sexual health at every age. Daily practices Jaiming recommends to maintain circulation, lubrication, desire, and overall balance.

Connect with Jaiming HERE!

Follow her on Instagram HERE!

⁠Learn more about Honeydew Me 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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If mental health has ever knocked you on your ass (especially in early motherhood) this one is for you.

We dive into:

• What postpartum OCD and anxiety looked like behind the scenes. Cass opens up about the intrusive thoughts, fear spirals, and emotional numbness that made early motherhood feel nothing like the highlight reel she expected.
• Emma’s long-term anxiety and the patterns that came with it. Panic cycles, overwhelm, and the instinct to shut down instead of sit with big feelings.
• Why both of us struggled to admit something was off. The pressure to look fine, the fear of being judged, and the mental gymnastics we used to convince ourselves we could handle it alone.
  
• The turning points that pushed us to get help. The honest conversations, therapy breakthroughs, and moments that forced us to stop pretending.
• The support and tools that actually helped us feel better. OCD treatment programs, medication, grounding routines, and small daily habits that made life feel manageable again.
• How healing shifted our identities and relationships. Rebuilding confidence, reconnecting with our bodies, and experiencing love and connection in ways that weren’t accessible in survival mode.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠

⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content (including a downloadable that pairs PERFECTLY with this episode) HERE!

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We cover:

• Why toxic patterns feel familiar and why that’s the problem. Joy breaks down why your brain and body are drawn to what they already know, even when it’s not good for you.
• How to actually recognize a pattern while you’re in it. The subtle signs and behaviors that show you’re repeating an old story.
• Why your nervous system keeps you stuck. How fear, comfort, and old survival responses pull you back into the same dynamics.
• What breaking a toxic pattern really takes. The realistic, day-to-day shifts that help you choose differently, even when it’s uncomfortable.
• How to tell if your intuition is speaking… or if it’s anxiety. Joy explains the difference so you can stop second-guessing yourself.
• What “not abandoning yourself” looks like in real relationships. How to stop minimizing your needs or shrinking to keep the peace.
• Why change feels scary, lonely, and messy. And why that discomfort is actually a sign you’re doing the work.
• How to reconnect with the version of you who knows they deserve better. Joy shares tools for rebuilding self-worth and choosing healthier connections.

Connect with Dr. Joy:

• On her website HERE!
• On Instagram HERE!

⁠Learn more about Honeydew Me 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠

⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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The Question: "My question is about breaking a negative habit. My long-term boyfriend is wonderful, patient, and always makes sure I finish, but sometimes I find myself not wanting to have sex at all because I don’t feel like giving myself the time. It’s like, “ugh, it takes too long and who has time for that?” How can I change that mindset, stop rushing my pleasure, and actually enjoy the process?"

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Why it’s so hard to give yourself permission to take the time. And how guilt or pressure shows up even with a loving partner.
• Where the “too much work” mindset comes from. We trace it back to messages about sex, bodies, and being “easy.”
• Why it’s normal to feel impatient with your own pleasure. And how to shift out of that without forcing it.
• How to make slowing down feel good instead of awkward. Real ways to make the build-up part of the fun again.
• What to do when your brain won’t shut up during sex. Simple ways to come back to your body without overthinking.
• How to talk to your partner when you need more time. Language that feels natural, not clinical or awkward.
• Where to go from here. Check out our new ⁠1:1 coaching program⁠ and see how we can help you confidence, communicate better, and get the pleasure you deserve.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!

Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠

⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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We Cover:

How to build your own relationship toolkit. The emotional skills and self-awareness you actually need to make relationships work.

Why self-awareness is the foundation of connection. Understanding your triggers, patterns, and needs so you can show up more intentionally.

The difference between reacting and responding. How to slow down, get grounded, and communicate instead of spiraling.

How to break out of old relationship patterns. What to look for when you keep finding yourself in the same dynamics.

The link between discomfort and growth. Why learning to sit in discomfort is essential for building emotional intimacy.

How to create emotional safety in your relationships. Tools for being honest without being defensive and how to invite that from others.

What accountability actually looks like. Why it’s not about blame, but about understanding and repair.

The importance of self-connection. How your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.

Connect with Jordanne:

• ⁠Website⁠ 

• ⁠Instagram⁠ 

Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Cass & Em? Apply HERE!

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• How shame shaped our first experiences with sex. And how it still shows up in subtle ways today.
• What we thought “good sex” was supposed to be. And how those expectations completely missed the point.
• How confidence around sex actually develops. It’s not instant, and it’s definitely not about performing.
• What helped us rebuild our relationships with our bodies. The tools, therapy, and mindset shifts that made a difference.
• Why talking about sex changes everything. We share how these conversations helped us feel more connected, not embarrassed.
• The difference between being desired and feeling desire. And why that distinction matters way more than you think.
• How to navigate your own sexual growth. Tips for starting your own “unlearning and relearning” process without judgment.
• Where to go from here. We share how our new 1:1 coaching program can help you rebuild confidence, communicate better, and reconnect with your body and pleasure.

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!

Sign up for our Patreon to access exclusive content HERE!

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We cover:

• What pleasure really does to your brain. Danielle breaks down how pleasure rewires your mindset, boosts creativity, and helps regulate stress.
• Why prioritizing pleasure improves every area of your life. From relationships to productivity, she shares how pleasure isn’t indulgent... it’s essential.
• How to find your personal “why” for pleasure. Learn how to connect pleasure to your deeper values and goals so it feels sustainable and guilt-free.
• How to prioritize pleasure when you’re busy. Simple, science-backed practices to bring more pleasure into your daily routine.
• The difference between pursuing pleasure and chasing happiness. Danielle explains why pleasure is a deeper, more embodied path to joy.
• How stress blocks your ability to feel good. We talk about how the nervous system impacts arousal, presence, and satisfaction and how to start stressing less.
• How to bring pleasure into the bedroom and beyond. Practical, judgment-free ways to expand your definition of what feeling good can look like.

Interested in 1-on-1 coaching? CLICK HERE!

Join Honey Book Club HERE!

Connect with Danielle HERE!

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We cover:

• Why mother-in-law relationships are so complicated. Dr. Tracy explains the hidden power dynamics and emotional expectations that can make them feel tense or competitive.
• How to stop feeling “stuck in the middle”. Learn practical communication strategies for when your partner and their mom are clashing, or when you’re the one feeling left out.
• The difference between boundaries and ultimatums. Why you don’t need to be “the good daughter-in-law” to keep the peace, and how to stand firm without guilt.
• How to get your partner on the same team. Tips for talking about family tension without triggering defensiveness or blame.
• When the problem isn’t just her. Dr. Tracy helps us look inward at our own triggers, expectations, and patterns that keep us repeating the same dynamic.
• The role of empathy in de-escalating family conflict. Why empathy for your partner (and even their mom) can shift everything.
• How to prioritize your partnership above all else. Actionable steps for strengthening your bond and creating a united front, no matter how messy the family dynamic gets.

PREORDER "You, Your Husband & His Mother" here!

Honeydew Me Resources:

Interested in 1-on-1 coaching with Cass & Em? CLICK HERE!

Join our Patreon HERE for exclusive content!

Affiliate Links for Products Mentioned:

Try Love Blanket (code DEWME10) HERE!

Try Arya HERE!

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We cover:

• Why desire isn’t the foundation of a great sex life. Vanessa explains why waiting to “feel in the mood” can actually block connection and intimacy.
• The top five reasons couples stop having sex. From resentment to routine, Vanessa and Xander unpack what really gets in the way and how to fix it.
• How to reconnect when sex feels like a chore. Practical tools for rebuilding closeness without pressure or guilt.
• The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire. Learn why expecting to just “feel it” can lead to frustration, and how to work with your body instead.
• How to talk about sex without it turning into a fight. Simple scripts and strategies for starting honest, non-defensive conversations.
• Why long-term desire is a skill, not a spark. Vanessa and Xander share how to cultivate passion and playfulness at every stage of a relationship.
• How to create a sex life that feels equal and exciting. Real advice for ditching resentment, sharing initiation, and rediscovering fun in bed.

Connect with Vanessa and Xander:

• Join DEEPER Here!
• Visit their website HERE!
• Buy their book HERE!

⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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The Question: “I’m 23 years old and have never had an orgasm. I have a wonderful boyfriend, whom I very much enjoy having sex with, but cannot finish, and have not been able to with the other people I’ve slept with. I also masturbate relatively frequently, and have tried a few different toys, and manual stimulation as well. I recently talked to my friend about this, who suggested watching porn to see if this helped, but I really just couldn’t get into it. I have a pretty active brain, and sometimes will struggle to be fully in the moment. Even when I’m turned on, and enjoying it, I don’t know if I’m able to be fully present. Am I broken? I know you usually say that everyone is different, but I often find sex and masturbation feels “nice” with smaller pockets of pleasure. My boyfriend is great, and priorities making me feel good with going down on me, encouraging me to use toys when we’re together etc, but I still can’t. Is it possible that I just am not capable of orgasming? I’d really appreciate your opinions and advice."

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Not having an orgasm doesn’t mean you’re broken. We break down the orgasm trap and explain how pressure can make it harder to cum.
• The biggest orgasm blockers. Stress, shame, “shoulds,” and a wandering mind are some of the most common things that get in the way.
• How to get out of your head during sex. Grounding tools and easy practices to bring your brain back into your body.
• Pleasure beyond your usual go-to's. Why focusing only on our go-to's (like penetration) can stall your pleasure and what else to explore instead.
• Fun ways to shake up your routine. From massage to toys to new locations, we share fresh ideas to make intimacy exciting again.
• How to talk to your partner about orgasm struggles. Scripts and conversation tips that make asking for support feel sexy instead of stressful.
• Why small wins matter more than the big O. Celebrating little pockets of pleasure helps you build confidence and move closer to orgasm.
• When to call in the pros. Pelvic floor PTs, sex therapists, and sex-positive doctors can help work through deeper blocks.

Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!

⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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• Why your 20s and 30s set the stage for lifelong sexual health. Dr. Sophocles explains how your early approach to intimacy impacts desire, connection, and pleasure as you age.
• The bedroom gap and why it matters. Learn what the bedroom gap is, why women are most impacted, and how we can close it.
• The missing piece in most sex education. We talk about why traditional sex ed focuses on fear instead of pleasure and how that leaves us unprepared.
• How to rethink sex as a skill you can grow. From communication to curiosity, Dr. Sophocles shows us why sex isn’t static and how it can keep evolving.
• The role of menopause in sexual health. Understand how desire and arousal change in midlife and what support actually works.
• Why talking about sex matters. Breaking down shame and silence is the first step toward better intimacy and pleasure.
• Practical steps for better sex at any age. Dr. Sophocles shares accessible tips for people to feel more confident and connected in the bedroom.

Connect with Dr. Sophocles:

Preorder "The Bedroom Gap" HERE!

On Instagram

On her website

⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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We cover:

• Why dirty talk feels hard at first. Understand the mental blocks that arise, from not knowing what to say to worrying about your partner’s reaction.
• How to figure out what turns you on. Use self-exploration, journaling prompts, and your masturbation practice to get clear on your turn-ons and desires.How to practice without pressure
• Practicing outside the bedroom. Start outside the bedroom with sexting or casual conversations so dirty talk feels easier when things heat up.
• Finding your dirty talk persona. Learn how to embody confidence and play with different tones like dominant, bratty, simpy, or simply yourself.
• Dirty talk examples you can steal. Get real phrases and scripts you can try right away, no overthinking required.
• What to say when your mind goes blank. Discover how to keep things flowing by describing the moment, giving direction, or using playful vocab.
• Dirty Mad Libs for beginners. Fill-in-the-blank prompts that make practicing fun and help you find your voice.
• How to handle when you say something weird. Why awkward moments are normal and how laughing it off can make intimacy even hotter.
• Your foolproof dirty talk game plan. Step into the bedroom with a simple path to more confidence, better communication, and hotter sex.

⁠Join our Patreon and access the "Dirty Talk 101" downloadable HERE!

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We cover:

• Why we emotionally outsource in the first place. Bea explains how codependency, people-pleasing, and perfectionism are survival strategies we learned early on, NOT character flaws.
• How Emotional Outsourcing™ keeps you stuck and miserable. We unpack the hidden ways outsourcing your worth drains your energy and relationships.
• The nervous system’s role in healing. Bea shares SIMPLE somatic and polyvagal tools to help you actually regulate and build resilience.
• Why people-pleasing sometimes feels safer than saying no. Learn how your brain and body keep you locked in old patterns and how to break free.
• Practical ways to set boundaries without guilt. Simple scripts and reframes for protecting your energy without shame.
• How to move from perfectionism to self-trust. Shift from performing for approval to living as your authentic self.
• Daily practices to reconnect with your worth. Because you are SO worthy. Bea teaches us grounding tools to build confidence, self-compassion, and inner safety.

PREORDER BEA'S BOOK HERE! (and then go to her website HERE to get all the special preorder goodies!)

⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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The Question: "Okay, so I’m really trying to work on my sex shame, and one thing I cannot get past is fantasizing. Like… every time I start, my brain is either like ‘this is unrealistic,’ ‘you should be embarrassed,’ or ‘lol you don’t even have a partner.’ How do I shut all that down so I can actually enjoy it and then, once I do have a fantasy, how do I make it real?"

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Why shame gets in the way of sexual fantasies. We unpack why your brain tells you your desires are “weird” or “wrong” and how to push past that shame.
• How to reframe “unrealistic” fantasies. Your imagination has no rules. We talk about ways to enjoy sexual fantasies in your head, share them out loud, or scale them for real life.
• Exploring fantasies without a partner. Solo play is the perfect place to experiment. From touch to toys to creativity, we show you how to make it hot on your own.
• Why fantasizing isn’t cheating when you're in a relationship. We break down why it’s totally normal (and even healthy for intimacy) to think about scenarios that don’t always include your partner.
• How to talk to your partner about fantasy. Scripts, conversation starters, and real-world examples for bringing your fantasies into the bedroom.
• The “reality scale” for fantasies. A framework to help you decide if a fantasy should stay in your head, be shared in conversation, or acted out in bed.
• Ways to bring fantasies to life solo or partnered. From porn to role play, we share creative ways to turn your ideas into real experiences.

⁠Join our Patreon and access the "Hot Girl Fantasy Guide" (+ so much more bonus content) HERE!

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We talk about how to stop centering dating apps, how to reclaim your time and joy, and why being single is not the problem... shame is.

We cover:

• Why singlehood isn’t a problem to be fixed. Shani unpacks how society pathologizes being single and why that’s BS.
• How to live a full, exciting life without a relationship. From travel to career to pleasure, we explore what it means to prioritize yourself.
• Why dating content fails single people. We talk about the toxic dating culture that keeps people chasing “the one” instead of feeling whole on their own.
• What it means to want partnership, but not suffer without it. Shani offers real talk on being open to love without letting it define your worth.
• How to stop treating singlehood like a temporary phase. Your life isn’t on pause. We explore how to fully engage with your present, not just your potential future.
• The emotional toll of romanticizing relationships. From internalized shame to feeling “behind,” we look at the stories that are hurting us and how to rewrite the shit out of them.
• Why single people deserve better content. You’re not unfinished. Shani calls out the lack of empowering, non-dating-focused media for single people and shares what she’s doing about it.
• Tangible mindset shifts to start enjoying your life now. Shani shares her go-to tools for reframing singlehood and finding joy without needing a plus-one.

Connect with Shani:

On her website

Get her book "A Single Revolution"

On Instagram

⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content, downloadables, extended episodes and more HERE!

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We talk about how to build trust, use communication as foreplay, and find the confidence to go after what you really want in bed, without shame or second-guessing.

We cover:

• What impact play actually is and what counts as "rough sex". From spanking to slapping to hair pulling, Luna breaks down what it means to play with power and sensation.

• Why communication is the sexiest part of kink. Learn how to express what you want, ask for what you’re curious about, and create safety before the clothes come off.
• The difference between pain and pleasurable pain. We unpack how intensity can feel good and how to find your own personal “yes” when exploring impact play.
• How to introduce rough sex into your relationship without making it weird. Luna gives real-life scripts and ideas to help you start the convo (even if you’re nervous).
• Why you don’t need to be “kinky” to enjoy rough sex. Spoiler: You don’t need a leather closet or a dungeon to explore power and pleasure.
• What beginners get wrong about spanking and dominance. Tips for avoiding the most common mistakes and making your first experience feel hot (not awkward).
• How to navigate insecurity, shame, or body image blocks. We talk about how to build confidence in yourself, especially if you feel hesitant about being “too much.”
• Tools, toys, and mindset shifts to get started with impact play. Luna shares her favorite low-pressure ways to experiment, whether you’re solo or partnered.

Connect with Luna:

• On Instagram
• On her website

⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content, downloadables, extended episodes and more HERE!

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We cover:

• What a sexual fantasy really is (and why it doesn’t need to be a full-blown movie plot to be hot)

• Emma’s and Cass’s personal experiences with fantasy—lifelong imagination vs. learning how to start

• How to find your sexual fantasies: journaling prompts, reflection questions, and mindset shifts to help you explore your desires

• Sources of inspiration: audio erotica, porn, roleplay scenarios, movies, books, and revisiting your earliest turn-on moments

• Fun discovery tools for the bedroom: “Would You Rather,” Fantasy Mad Libs, and a fantasy-only Want/Will/Won’t list

• Fantasy mood boards: how to create visual inspiration to spark new ideas and spot your desire themes

• Most popular fantasies—from threesomes to public play—and why almost anything you can dream up already exists

• Fantasy roleplay ideas with and without power dynamics to help you experiment safely and creatively

• Fantasy Mapping: choosing your setting, characters, vibe, turn-ons, and optional “why” behind your hottest scenarios

• How to use fantasies in the bedroom: during solo play, partnered play, public encounters, date nights, or sexting

  
  

  Join our Patreon and access the "Hot Girl Fantasy Guide" HERE!

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What We Cover in This Episode:

• What sexual confidence actually is (and what it’s not). Hint: It’s not about being loud, kinky, or “experienced.” Confidence is about self-trust, self-awareness, and staying connected to your needs.
• Why performance culture is killing our confidence. We unpack how porn, media, and even hookup culture teach us to perform instead of feel and how to unlearn that.
• How to stop judging yourself in the moment. Caitlin shares tangible tools for staying present, even when your inner critic shows up in bed.
• The link between nervous system regulation and confidence. If you’ve ever frozen, dissociated, or gone into people-pleasing mode during sex... this part is for you.
• The #1 mindset shift to build confidence fast. This reframe alone will change the way you show up in intimacy, especially if you struggle with body image or “being too much.”
• What to do when your partner’s confidence (or lack of it) affects yours. Real talk on how to navigate mismatched confidence levels and build each other up without pressure.
• Why communication is confidence. From asking for what you want to setting boundaries, you can’t fake confidence when your voice isn’t in the room.
• Small steps that build big confidence over time. Caitlin walks us through daily rituals and rewiring techniques to cultivate long-term, unshakeable sexual confidence.

Connect with Caitlin:

• On her website
• On Instagram
• On TikTok

⁠Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more!⁠

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Dr. Rullo explains how antidepressants impact desire, arousal, and orgasm, and what you can actually do to bring the spark (and your confidence) back.

What We Cover in This Episode:

The science behind antidepressants and sexual function. We break down how these medications affect brain chemistry and why they often lower desire.

Why your libido isn’t “broken.” Dr. Rullo explains how changes in sex drive are a common side effect, not a personal failing.

The difference between desire and arousal (and why it matters). Understanding these two states can help you better navigate sexual changes on medication.

How to talk to your partner when your sex drive shifts. Real scripts and strategies to keep communication open and shame-free.

Tips for getting in the mood (without forcing it). From sensory play to scheduling intimacy, we share tools that actually work.

What to ask your doctor about antidepressant side effects. Learn how to advocate for yourself if your medication is impacting your sexual wellness.

The emotional side of sexual changes. We explore how antidepressants can affect confidence, connection, and self-image, and what to do about it.

Simple ways to reconnect with your body and pleasure. Dr. Rullo shares techniques to help you stay present and rebuild sexual confidence.

Connect with Dr. Jordan Rullo HERE!

⁠Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more!⁠

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What We Cover in This Episode:

• Why relationships feel harder than ever. Nicholas explains the cultural and social shifts that have added new layers of pressure to modern love.
• The myth of “one person meeting all your needs." How expecting a romantic partner to fill every role—friend, confidant, cheerleader—sets us up for frustration.
• The power of community for your love life. Why friendships and support systems are essential for a healthy relationship + how to build them.
• Redefining partnership and effort. We talk about the natural ebb and flow of giving and receiving, and why sometimes it’s okay to carry more of the weight.
• Taking action when things feel stagnant. Small, research-backed steps to break out of disconnection and rebuild intimacy.
• What the latest intimacy research has to teach us. Nicholas shares findings from his work on the tools couples need to stay connected long-term. 
• How Arya is reshaping relationship and sexual wellness. A look at the couples platform helping partners strengthen their bond and stay curious.

Sign up for Arya HERE *affiliate*

Connect with Nicholas HERE!

Follow Nicholas on Instagram HERE!

Follow Nicholas on TikTok HERE!

⁠Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more!⁠

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The Question: “Hi there! Been a looooong time listener of the pod and have a question/need for advice. My fiancé and I have been together for almost 4 years, we’re in a super healthy relationship, and I feel very happy with him. The last few months or so, our sex life has been a little less than normal and less than what I hoped for. We still have satisfying sex, but not as frequently, and it’s pretty formulaic—we go to what we know works. I feel like I’m initiating more (probably 80% me, 20% him), and because of that, I get told no more, which never feels good. I’ve been wanting to get out of this lull to make our sex life fantastic again.

Then a few days ago, I woke up and saw him looking at sexual reels of Instagram models, saving and screenshotting them. He didn’t know I could see his screen, and I haven’t said anything. We both watch porn and have talked about boundaries—this doesn’t cross any, but I still feel so bad/jealous/insecure. I think it’s because when we talk about porn abstractly, it’s easier to process, but actually seeing it hurt my feelings.

My brain keeps telling me the story that he has sexual feelings about these women that he doesn’t seem to have about me, and I hate that thought. I’m upset with him, which isn’t fair because he didn’t break my trust, but it really sucked to see. I’m feeling like I don’t want to be affectionate right now. I wish I could be more evolved about this, and I’d love your perspective/advice on how to move past this and not be so hurt by something very normal.”

What We Cover in This Episode:

• How to get out of a sex lull. Whether things have gotten routine or you're not having sex as often as you'd like, we share ways to shift the energy and reignite desire.

• Rethinking what it means to initiate sex. Initiation doesn’t always have to be physical or as blunt as "want to have sex?" We walk through ways to initiate that feel natural, playful, and pressure-free.

• How to figure out what your partner needs (without guessing). Questions to ask, things to notice, and ways to open up honest convo about how he experiences intimacy and desire.

• Tools to navigate rejection without resentment. We share strategies to help both partners handle “not tonight” moments with care, like setting expectations, creating opt-in moments, and building connection even when sex isn’t on the table.

• When he’s looking at Instagram models...what does it mean and what should you do? We unpack the feelings that come up when your partner engages with sexual content online, how to rework boundaries around it, and what to say if it hurts, even if it technically doesn’t “break a rule.”

• Specific phrases to help you start and steer the conversation. We give you language you can borrow or tweak, including a mini role-play of how we’d personally approach this chat.

• Tools to spice things up and try something new. From foreplay ideas to spicy games, we suggest ways to add novelty, connection, and fun back into your routine.

• A big heaping dose of validation, because this is hard. If you’re the one initiating most of the time, feeling rejected, or wondering if it’s even okay to bring this up, you’re not alone, and you’re not asking for too much.

  
  

  ⁠Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more!⁠

  
  

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Claire breaks down what it really means to “push through” during sex, why so many of us do it (even when we know we don’t want to), and how to start honoring your boundaries without guilt, shutdown, or shame.

We cover:

• What “pushing through” actually means and why it’s so common. We define what it looks like to override your body’s signals during sex and why so many women and femmes have been conditioned to tolerate discomfort in the name of connection.

• How to stop saying yes when your body is screaming no. Claire offers practical tools for tuning into your physical cues, catching freeze responses, and recognizing when you’re dissociating mid-sex.

• Why “not wanting sex” isn’t a problem to fix. Spoiler: Your desire isn’t broken. We explore how shame, performance pressure, and people-pleasing distort our understanding of healthy sexual agency.

• How to say no without apologizing or over-explaining. From scripts to mindset shifts, Claire gives you real-life ways to assert your boundaries without guilt.

• The nervous system’s role in sexual shutdown. We talk about what happens biologically when you freeze or dissociate and how to gently regulate your nervous system so you can feel safe again.
• When sex feels painful or uncomfortable (and you just go with it anyway). Claire gets real about the internalized messages that normalize discomfort and how to unlearn them especially if you’ve ever endured pain just to avoid awkwardness.

• How to rebuild intimacy after breaking your own boundaries. If you’ve pushed through in the past, you’re not alone. Claire walks us through how to reconnect with yourself and rebuild trust in your own “no.”

• Why pleasure requires choice—not obligation. True intimacy comes from wanting to be there. We unpack how to create space for real, enthusiastic consent in your sex life.

Connect with Claire:

• On her website⁠
• ⁠On Instagram⁠

⁠Subscribe to our Patreon HERE to watch this episode and access exclusive content!

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The Question: "I’m in my mid-20s now, but I still feel like my breakup from high school is affecting the way I show up in relationships. Like… my attachment style, my trust issues, the way I react when someone pulls away. It all kind of traces back to that first heartbreak. Shouldn’t I be over it by now? It feels silly sometimes, but it also feels so real. Am I broken or is this just… a thing?"

What We Cover in This Episode:

• The breakup that still haunts you (yes, that one). We revisit the heartbreaks that shaped us and why your pain from that relationship is still valid.

• Why your younger self didn’t need to “know better." A compassionate reframe for those moments when you look back and think, “Why didn’t I know better?” (Spoiler: it wasn’t your job to know. It was your job to do the best you could with what you had.)

• Validation is not weakness—it’s healing. We talk about why needing to feel seen in your pain isn’t dramatic, it’s human.

• Unpacking what breakups really bring up (hint: it’s not just about your ex). From attachment wounds to trust issues, we explore how heartbreak echoes in other areas of life.

• How to offer yourself the compassion you never got. Step-by-step reflections on how to talk to yourself like someone you deeply care about.

• Letting go with grace and a little bit of rage. We normalize the complexity of closure and what it actually takes to move forward.

• Creating rituals that honor your healing. Whether it’s a playlist, a letter, or a literal ceremony, we explore ways to mark the end of a chapter.

• Why your sadness makes sense. A gentle reminder that you don’t have to defend or downplay your grief—especially when no one else understood it at the time.

  
  

Resources:

⁠⁠Get The Hot Girl Closure Ceremony Downloadable HERE!⁠

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We cover:

• Why people-pleasing, overthinking, and low self-worth all come back to self-trust. If you’re stuck in “I don’t know what I want” mode, Emily breaks down how that’s not a personality flaw, it’s a self-trust issue.
• What to do when you feel totally disconnected from yourself. Tired of second-guessing every decision? Here’s how to reconnect with your inner voice (even if it feels really quiet right now).
• How to build self-trust without needing to be perfect. Trusting yourself doesn’t mean you always get it “right," it means knowing you’ll have your own back either way.
• The sneaky ways we self-abandon in everyday life. From ignoring your gut to staying in the wrong relationship, Emily shares how to spot the tiny ways you break trust with yourself.
• Why trying to be the “good girl” keeps you stuck. We unpack how internalized shame, pressure to perform, and perfectionism block you from feeling safe in your own body.
• What sexual empowerment has to do with self-trust. Feeling confident in bed starts way before the bedroom. Emily explains how self-trust shapes desire, boundaries, and pleasure.
• How to trust yourself during a big life shift (like a breakup or job loss). When everything’s changing, it’s easy to spiral. Here’s how to stay grounded and move forward with clarity.
• The difference between fear and intuition (and how to tell them apart). Is it a red flag or just anxiety? Emily breaks down how to read your body’s signals and know what’s actually right for you.

BUY EMILY'S BOOK HERE!

Connect with Emily:

• Listen to her podcast
• Visit her website

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The Question: I’ve been with my partner for almost three years and I love everything about our relationship… except for the fact that he never compliments me. In the years we have dated he has never once told me I look pretty, hot, beautiful, nothing. I tell him often that I like his outfit, hair, shoes, that he looks hot, etc. but he never reciprocates. He makes me feel very loved in other ways, but this in particular is slowly making me very insecure about myself. How do I balance my own self-esteem with wanting to feel approval and desire from my partner?

What We Cover:

• Your needs are important and valid. We unpack why your emotional and physical needs in a relationship matter just as much as your partner’s (and how to stop minimizing them).

• Real talk on having a brutally honest conversation with your partner. What it looks like to drop the “cool girl” act and actually say the hard things you’ve been holding in.

• How to advocate for your needs in and out of the bedroom. Practical scripts and strategies to help you speak up, without feeling like you're asking for "too much".

• Communication strategies that actually work. We break down simple, clear ways to communicate your needs without spiraling into conflict or shutdown.

• How to build up your self-esteem and sexual confidence. From the stories you tell yourself to the way you show up in your body, we walk through the internal shifts that make a real difference.

• Balancing self-worth with partner validation. We explore how to recognize when you're outsourcing your self-worth to your relationship and how to 

Resources:

⁠Get The Perfect Solo Date Downloadable HERE!

Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more!

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• What to do in the moment when you feel anxious, sad, or angry. Instead of spiraling or shutting down, try these quick, specific tools Béa shares to move through emotions with intention and grace.
• How to regulate your nervous system when you're overwhelmed. Learn small, science-backed shifts to lean in and ground yourself when emotions hit hard.
• The connection between the nervous system and your emotions. Béa explains why your body reacts the way it does and how understanding your nervous system can change your relationship with feelings.
• Why big joy can feel just as overwhelming as big sadness. And what to do so you don’t shut down when things are actually good.
• How to stop gaslighting yourself when you're having a hard day. We unpack the internalized beliefs that tell us to “suck it up” and offer alternatives that actually support healing.
• The surprisingly powerful tool of naming what you feel. (Yes, it actually works and here’s how to do it.)
• How to stop managing emotions with productivity. We explore why many of us cope by “doing more” and how to shift into actually feeling more without falling apart.
• Scripts for saying what you need without the guilt. Whether you’re with a partner, a therapist, or just trying to validate yourself, here’s how to express what you need clearly and compassionately.

PREORDER BÉA'S BOOK HERE!

Visit her website HERE!

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What We Cover in This Episode:

• Why singlehood isn’t a “pause” in your life, it’s the glow-up. We reframe being single as an expansive, intentional chapter, not something you’re just surviving until your next relationship.
• How to build a life that turns you on. From friends to creativity to pleasure, we dive into what it means to design a life that lights you up from the inside out. 
• The real reason timelines make you feel behind (and how to break free). We unpack the fear-based messaging around age, marriage, and milestones and how to stop letting them run your love life.
• How to date yourself with the same energy you’d give a partner. We walk through what it actually looks like to show up for yourself emotionally, romantically, and sexually.
• Tips for creating the perfect solo date night (that ends with pleasure, not loneliness). We share our go-to structure for solo dates—including a downloadable guide you can find HERE—to help you feel connected, sexy, and satisfied.
• Why redefining intimacy is key to thriving in your single era. We explore how to create intimacy through friendships, rituals, and self-connection no partner required.
• How to stop confusing being alone with being unworthy. We break down the loneliness lie and how to reclaim your worth, confidence, and joy while solo.

Resources:

Get The Perfect Solo Date Downloadable HERE!

Subscribe to our Patreon for other downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more!

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What we cover in this episode:

• How to talk about sex, whether you're in a long-term relationship or a casual hookup. Practical tools for naming your needs without shame, fear, or performance. 
• Why community is key to sexual confidence. How surrounding yourself with sex-positive people helps normalize your desires.
• The silent damage of purity culture. How early messages about sex create shame and how to unlearn them.
• How to overcome shame after a hookup. Reframing “sluttiness” as something powerful, not something to regret.
• Why self-pleasure is step one to communication. What Nicole recommends for anyone struggling to talk about what they want.
• To feel big pleasure, you have to feel big feelings. Why crying and cumming might be more connected than you think.
• How to find the words for what you want. Tips for discovering and articulating your desires, even if you’ve never done it before.

Resources + Links

• Follow Nicole on Instagram: @modernanarchypodcast

• Listen to the Modern Anarchy Podcast HERE!

• Get The Psychedelic Jealousy Guide HERE!

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The Question: "I'm in a really loving and supportive relationship and I want to have sex. Like, I mentally want it—I’m attracted to my partner, I crave intimacy, I feel emotionally connected… but it still takes me a long time to feel fully turned on physically. I don’t just get wet easily, and sometimes it feels like I’m waiting for my body to catch up. It makes me feel kind of broken or like I’m doing something wrong. Is this normal? Why is it so hard to just “flip the switch,” even when I want to be there? And how can I navigate this with my partner in a way that doesn’t make things awkward or overly clinical?"

We're covering:

• The difference between spontaneous vs responsive desire
• How to stop "shoulding" on yourself when it comes to sex
• Tips for talking to your partner about your needs (BONUS: how to talk to a casual hookup about your needs)
• Specific strategies you can use to get in the mood (solo or with your partner)

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• How to reignite sexual connection after having kids – tips for rebuilding desire and intimacy at any stage of parenting
• Common myths about sex after kids – and why losing your libido doesn’t mean your sex life is over
• Practical ways to communicate about sex with your partner post-baby – even when you're tired or touched out
• Understanding mismatched sex drives in long-term relationships – and how to meet in the middle
• Creating emotional and physical space for intimacy with kids at home – yes, it’s possible (and v necessary)
• How to explore your erotic blueprint as a parent – and why rediscovering pleasure can be empowering
• Real strategies for prioritizing intimacy without guilt – even with a toddler banging on the door
• Why sexual identity shifts after parenthood—and how to embrace that change
• Tools for reconnecting with your body and desire – especially after childbirth or parenting burnout 
• Why talking about sex openly can strengthen your relationship post-kids

Connect with Susanna:

Susanna's Website

Susanna's Instagram

✨ FREE DOWNLOADABLE HERE ✨

JOIN OUR PATREON HERE⁠ to access the extended interview and exclusive content.

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• WTF a mucus plug is
• How Cass navigated body changes while pregnant and postpartum and a PSA on stretch marks
• Normalizing postpartum vaginas 
• How Cass navigated sex and intimacy while pregnant and postpartum
• A pep talk for when postpartum doesn't go the way you hoped it would
• What advice Cass would give to partners of pregnant and postpartum people
• What it's like dealing with mom shame

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The Question: "I think my penis might be too big for comfortable penetrative sex with my girlfriend. We’ve had open conversations about it and she’s super reassuring, but I still end up feeling guilty, like my body is somehow making things harder (pun unintended, but also… not wrong). What is actually considered a “normal” penis size? Do women even care about size as much as we’re led to believe? And most importantly—how do we make penetrative sex work for both of us, or what are some other ways we can stay intimate without feeling like we’re missing out?"

We're covering:

• What the research says about "normal" penis size and what partners are looking for
• Alternatives to PIV sex that you can try
• Tips for making PIV sex more comfortable (toy, tools, and positions)
• Are some penises too big for condoms?
• How to find YOUR condom size
• BONUS: tips for if you feel like your penis is too "small" for penetrative sex

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• The science behind why passion ebbs and flows over the course of a long term relationship
• What a truly PASSIONATE relationship can look like
• Tips for flirting with your partner
• Action steps for rekindling the passion in your relationship
• The importance of NOVELTY and how to build it into your sex life
• Why you need to be having bougie sex
• How create a passionate relationship with YOURSELF as a single person

Connect with Dr. Diane:

• On her website
• Take the libido quiz HERE! 
• Take the turn ons quiz HERE!

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• What a normal libido looks like & how we define low vs. high libido
• Common myths and misconceptions about having a low libido
• How to navigate sex drive differences within a relationship
• The importance of the 3 N's: Noticing, Naming & Negotiating 
• Sex acts for when you're low on energy
• How to bring this conversation to your partner

Connect with Susan:

• On her website
• On Instagram

JOIN OUR PATREON HERE to access exclusive content, the video for this episode and so much more!

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We cover:

• Expanding your definition of foreplay
• How to turn yourself ON
• Understanding the phases of sexual arousal and USING that to your advantage
• How to feel ENTITLED to your needs
• How to make communication feel ✨sexy✨
• Low-stakes ways to initiate sex
• How to engage in foreplay ALL DAY

Connect with Haylin:

• On Instagram
• On her website

Subscribe to our Patreon HERE for exclusive content!

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The Question: "My best friend and I have been inseparable for years, but now we’re in different life stages—she’s focused on her career and dating and I’m starting a family. It’s hard to stay as close as we were. How can we keep this friendship strong while growing in different directions?"

We cover:

• Expert tips for navigating change within a friendship

• Questions you need to ask yourself

• Conversations you need to be having with your friend

• Ways to support one another

• Permission to just be sad... because honestly change sucks sometimes (even when it's a good thing)

For more episodes like this, SUBSCRIBE TO OUR PATREON HERE!

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• WHY you need to start decentering P in V sex
• The BENEFITS of focusing on sexual acts outside of penetration
• How to tell your partner you want to stop prioritizing penetrative sex
• What to try instead of penetration

Connect with Claire:

• On her website
• On Instagram

Subscribe to our Patreon HERE to watch this episode and access exclusive content!

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• What sexual avoidance is, how it can feel, and WHY it happens
• Redefining all the "shoulds" that come with sex
• Tools for navigating sexual avoidance
• Understanding low libido
• Rethinking the belief that "the low desire partner needs to change"

Connect with Jessa HERE!

Subscribe to our Patreon HERE to access exclusive content!

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• The "Big 5" personality traits-- emotional stability, extraversion, openness, agreeableness & conscientiousness
• How to figure out where you rank on each of the Big 5 traits
• Are you still being "authentic" if you try to change your personality?
• Olga's tips (based on years of research and personal experience) for changing your personality
• Action steps you can take to become more extroverted, less neurotic, more open and/or more conscientious

Take the personality test Olga took HERE!

Get Olga's Book HERE!

Read Olga's other work at The Atlantic HERE!

Connect with Olga on her Substack HERE!

Subscribe to our Patreon HERE to access exclusive content!

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• What our current masturbation practices look like (HINT: not ideal lol)
• WHY you should be prioritizing masturbation
• The MANY physical, emotional, mental, AND relationship benefits of masturbating
• How to set up your space for a peaceful practice
• Extra steps you can take to make yourself feel special
• 3 example masturbation practices

Subscribe to our Patreon HERE to access our Masturbation Menu Downloadable and so much more!

References In the Episode:

• Passion Fruit Fizz Mocktail Recipe
• Liz Moody's Creamy Strawberry Cinnamon Aphrodisiac Mocktail
• Silk Sheets Playlist
• BB Outlet by Bellesa

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• A refresher on what BDSM is and what it means to be a Dominatrix
• What it's like to be a lifestyle dom and a deep dive into the master/slave dynamic within BDSM
• The 4 Dominatrix Archetypes and how YOU can start embodying each one
• How BDSM can be used as a healing modality for both the giver and receiver
• Simple strategies you can use to come across as more confident (in and outside the bedroom)
• How to be more dominant in the bedroom as a beginner
• PLUS Damiana walks us through what a session with her looks like!

Connect with Mistress Damiana Chi HERE!

JOIN OUR PATREON HERE to watch this episode, access exclusive content, and so much more!

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• The most common transitions couples go through and WHY they're so f*cking hard (even if they're "supposed" to be good)
• Habits to start incorporating NOW so you can navigate big transitions with ease
• A weekly check in you can do with your partner to feel seen, heard & supported
• Simple tools to help keep you on track during a fight
• Questions you can ask to reignite the intimacy in your relationship
• And at what point you should consider WALKING AWAY

Connect with EJ and Tarah:

• Listen Relationship Renovation HERE!
• Check out their website HERE!
• Follow them on Instagram HERE!
• Watch their YouTube HERE!

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• Ancient porn (because, again, humans have been horny from the start)
• Porn in the 1800's (including erotic novels, naughty nudes & Stag Films) 
• The Golden Age of Porn
• Porn & Pop Culture
• A lesson on ethical porn (what is it, why it's cool & how to know if YOUR porn is ethical)
• The types of porn people are actually watching (in 2016, 2021 & 2024)
• PLUS a few benefits of watching porn!

Listen to Right Answers Mostly HERE!

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• WHY you need to start playing sex games and their MANY benefits
• Games to help you and your partner get to know each other
• Teasing games to help build the (sexual) tension
• Orgasm denial games
• Food games
• Games to play with sex toys
• Timed games
• & actual board games (including a special Honeydew Me game you can get if you subscribe to our Patreon!)

JOIN OUR PATREON HERE to access exclusive content, the game downloadable from this episode and so much more!

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• Whether or not long term relationships should feel EASY + other common misconceptions about LTRs
• The tools you NEED to build a strong relationship 
• The common (and toxic) mistakes we're making in our relationships
• How to navigate with dreaded "roommate phase"
• What being "clingy" actually means and what you can do to address it
• Daily + weekly habits you can start incorporating into your life to benefit your relationship

Connect with Dr. Frankie:

• On YouTube
• Through Little Gay Book or Little Black Book 
• Watch Her Ted Talk HERE!

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The Question: "I’ve been with my boyfriend for a while now, and the sex... it’s just not great. It’s not that we don’t like each other, but it just feels off. I want to be honest, I just don't know how to approach it, so please HELP!"

We cover:

• Questions to ask yourself 
• Expert tips for talking about sex with a partner
• How to give critical feedback KINDLY
• How to give feedback *in the moment*
• Why it's actually TOTALLY OKAY (and very normal) to be bad at sex
• Permission to break up with someone if the sex is bad

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• WHY these discrepancies happen (even if it used to feel like you were on the same page)
• What the research says about HOW LONG couples struggle with intimacy issues before getting help + tips for navigating any shame associated with these issues
• Steps you can take to address desire discrepancy 
• Questions you can ask yourself or your partner to COMPLETELY CHANGE your sex life
• The skills you need to build (or rebuild) a FULFILLING sex life 

Connect with Susan:

• On her website
• On Instagram

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• Spicy and adventurous places to get it on
• Refresher on how to give amazing oral and hand sex
• Kinky ideas for adding spice to your routine
• Aftercare and how it enhances your intimacy
• Plus BTS stories on unaired episodes

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