Trust is shattered after infidelity—so how do you rebuild it? In this episode, I dive deep into the emotional, psychological, and relational layers behind trust issues after betrayal.

🔍 Key Takeaways:

✨ The aftermath of betrayal: Why infidelity makes you hyper-aware and questioning everything.

✨ Trust is a blueprint: If you never had a solid foundation of trust in childhood, rebuilding it can feel impossible.

✨ The role of past trauma: If betrayal is familiar—whether from family or past relationships—trusting anyone can feel unsafe.

✨ The paradox of trust: You can never fully control whether someone will hurt you, but you CAN trust yourself to be okay.

✨ The cost of half-love: Holding back out of fear might protect you, but it also keeps you from experiencing deep, real connection.

💡 Your Choice: After infidelity, you either leave or you lean back into love and trust. If you stay, make it count—don’t stay halfway in fear.

🔥 Feeling like trust issues are running your relationships? My Love Wounds program will help you unpack your attachment patterns, past wounds, and the deep-rooted fears keeping you stuck. Check it out on my website!

💌 If this episode resonated, send it to someone who needs to hear it. And as always, thank you for listening! ❤️

In this episode of Why Do I Do That?, we explore a question so many of us grapple with: Why do I get stuck in negative thought patterns I can’t seem to break? 🤔 Drawing on personal experiences and deep client work, we dive into the root causes and practical ways to shift these spirals.

Key Takeaways:

1. Negative Thoughts as Avoidance:
2. Often, negative or obsessive thought patterns emerge as a way to avoid feeling emotions like fear, guilt, or sadness. If you’re stuck in your head, it’s likely you’re under-feeling.
3. ✨ Pro Tip: Pause and ask yourself, What am I avoiding right now?
4. Brain Habits and Fight-or-Flight:
5. Your brain can get addicted to familiar neural pathways, even if they’re negative. These patterns may also be your body’s way of keeping you ready for threats, rooted in unresolved trauma.
6. 🌱 Solution: Heal your nervous system and teach your body that it’s safe.
7. The Subconscious Connection:
8. Negative thought patterns reflect deep-seated subconscious beliefs formed in childhood. Positive affirmations won’t stick if your subconscious holds unprocessed memories that contradict them.
9. 🧠 Shift: Work on subconscious healing to naturally rewire your thoughts.
10. Use Negative Thoughts as Data:
11. Instead of frustration, approach your thoughts with curiosity. Journal your recurring patterns and ask, How are these thoughts protecting me?
12. 📖 Journal Prompt: What’s the worst that could happen if I did the thing my thoughts are trying to prevent?
13. Reframe the Story:
14. Negative thoughts are often just stories your brain tells. Challenge them by asking, Is this true, or is this a story I’m creating? Then rewrite the narrative to a more empowering one.
15. 💡 Example: Instead of They must be mad at me, try They’re likely just busy.

A Real-Life Transformation Story:

Jessica shares an inspiring example of a 40-year psychologist who, after decades of therapy, witnessed a client transform after a single session of subconscious and somatic healing. This highlights the power of addressing the root cause, not just the symptoms. 🌟

Actionable Insight:

Start journaling your thoughts daily, identify patterns, and detach from the meaning you assign to them. Use these patterns as information to uncover deeper beliefs driving your emotions.

💌 Share the Wisdom!

Know someone stuck in a spiral of negative thoughts? Send them this episode to help them uncover the power of curiosity, healing, and self-awareness.

🎧 Thank you for tuning in! Let’s keep breaking patterns and rising together.

🚨 Spoiler Alert: This episode might just change your life! 🚨

In this raw and empowering episode of Why Do I Do That?, we tackle one of the BIGGEST questions we all face: Why does true happiness feel so out of reach? 🌀💭

✨ Here’s what you’ll uncover:

🔥 How to shift your mindset from chasing “happiness” to embracing aliveness – and why that changes EVERYTHING.

🎯 The secret trap of constantly moving the goalpost and never realizing you’ve already arrived.

💥 How societal "boxes" 🗃️ and limiting beliefs may be silently keeping you stuck (and how to BREAK FREE).

✅ Simple, powerful tools like asking, "If I wasn’t afraid, I would…" to uncover your next bold move.

🌊 Jessica dives deep with real stories, personal breakthroughs, and client transformations that will leave you feeling INSPIRED and READY to take action.

🎧 What’s inside this episode?

💡 Why aliveness (not happiness) is the REAL goal.

🚪 How to step out of the “box” that’s been holding you back.

📝 Practical steps to align with your soul’s desires and live fully – starting TODAY.

This isn’t just another pep talk. It’s a call to ACTION 💪 to create a life that feels rich, exciting, and full of purpose. Ready to reclaim your aliveness? 🌟

👉 Press play now and start breaking free!

🔥 Don’t forget to share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. Together, let’s LIVE ALIVE! 🌈✨

In this episode of Why Do I Do That?, Jess and Steph tackle a common question: "Why do I feel less powerful in relationships?" They explore how societal conditioning, unhealed wounds, and shifting energy dynamics can make women feel they lose themselves when partnered.

The discussion highlights:

• Redefining Power: True strength isn’t just independence—vulnerability and connection are powerful, too.
• Self-Awareness: Is your loss of power real or rooted in old beliefs and societal expectations?
• Healing Wounds: Unresolved memories and patterns might be holding you back from fully thriving in relationships.
• 
  

Jess shares a personal story of overcoming the belief that love and power can’t coexist, proving they can amplify each other. This episode is a guide to breaking free from limiting patterns and embracing your full potential in relationships.

Why does it sometimes feel like no matter how much effort we put in, something still holds us back?

In this insightful episode of Why Do I Do That?, Jess sits down with Lucinda Brandham, a manifestation and shadow work coach and Aaruka-certified healer, to answer these powerful questions. Together, they dive into the subconscious roadblocks and hidden fears that sabotage our success and explore how to align your energy and identity with the life you want to create.

Key questions answered include:

• Why do I feel blocked from manifesting my goals?
• How do I break the cycle of self-sabotage?
• Why does achieving more success or love feel unsafe?
• What practical steps can I take to align with my dreams and goals?
• 
  

Lucinda offers actionable strategies and deep insights, such as:

• Recognizing the part of you that might resist what you desire.
• Reframing self-sabotage as subconscious safety—and how to overcome it.
• How to challenge limiting beliefs and create new evidence for success.
• The importance of taking aligned action and stepping into your future self.
• Practical ways to recognize and interrupt patterns of avoidance.
• 
  

Lucinda also shares her personal journey, including how she overcame profound loss, faced patterns of fear and resistance, and turned her healing work into a life of purpose and abundance.

This episode is a powerful guide for anyone who feels stuck, overwhelmed, or blocked in their manifestation journey. Whether you're working toward financial success, love, or personal growth, this conversation will inspire you to break through your limits and take the courageous steps needed to align with your dreams.

Check out Lucinda Brandham here: https://www.instagram.com/cindabrandham/

In this episode of Why Do I Do That?, Jess is joined by Bella Reynolds, her “unofficial auntie,” a midlife mindset coach, and a proud graduate of the Aaruka Certification. Together, they dive deep into a listener’s question: Why do I feel the need to hide who I really am?

Bella and Jess unpack the origins of this common struggle, exploring how early childhood conditioning, the need for protection, and societal pressures often lead us to mask our true selves. They discuss how safety and love become tied to conforming and why stepping into authenticity can feel both vulnerable and brave.

Jess shares insights about how our desires reveal our true selves and offers practical steps for those ready to shed their masks. Bella adds her expertise, explaining how small, consistent actions and befriending discomfort are key to transformation. They also touch on the role of time, trauma, and health as powerful catalysts for embracing authenticity.

The episode wraps up with Bella’s story of overcoming mental health burnout, a brave step that led her to rediscover her real self and find purpose in helping others do the same.

Key Takeaways:

• The roots of hiding your true self often stem from childhood patterns and survival mechanisms.
• Authenticity requires bravery, as it opens you to vulnerability and potential criticism.
• Small, actionable steps—like identifying attributes you admire and testing them safely—help you grow into your real self.
• Befriending discomfort is essential for lasting change.
• Catalysts like trauma, health challenges, or a sense of limited time can push us toward living more authentically.

A Question to Ponder: What’s one small step you can take today to show up as your true self?

If you’ve ever felt held back from being your real self, this episode is for you. Share it with someone who might need this reminder to embrace who they truly are.

In this episode of Why Do I Do That?, Jess and Steph dive into the world of dating red flags with honesty, humor, and actionable advice. Here's what they cover:

• Personal Red Flags
• Jess shares her ability to emotionally disconnect and avoid repair.
• Steph reflects on her own avoidance tendencies and how she's working to overcome them.
• Common Red Flags in Dating
• Bad manners or disrespectful behavior.
• Talking excessively about exes—whether positive or negative.
• Cocky or arrogant egos and what they might reveal.
• People with no friends or poor-quality social circles.
• Audience-Submitted Red Flags
• Crazy eyes and gut feelings of discomfort.
• Overly sexual comments or behavior, especially when inappropriate or unsolicited.
• Dishonesty, even when the truth is harmless.
• Key Insights and Takeaways
• Context matters: Is it truly a red flag, or could it be nerves or past trauma?
• Recognizing attachment styles: Anxious attachment can manifest as "too much, too soon."
• Healthy dating practices: "Abundance dating" helps those with anxious tendencies gain perspective.
• Self-reflection: Are you projecting past fears, or is this behavior genuinely concerning?
• Empowering Advice
• Focus on how someone makes you feel rather than ticking boxes of red flags.
• Dating is about collecting data—learn from every interaction to refine your boundaries and values.
• Be willing to communicate and give space for growth, but know when to walk away.

This episode is a candid, relatable, and practical guide to navigating red flags and finding clarity in the dating world. Perfect for anyone looking to date with more awareness and confidence!

In this thought-provoking episode of Why Do I Do That?, Jess tackles the complex and deeply personal question, "Why am I so afraid of dying?". Exploring the intersection of anxiety, subconscious beliefs, and our biological instincts, Jess unpacks why the fear of death is not only natural but often amplified by unprocessed memories and societal conditioning.

What You'll Discover:

• The link between general anxiety, health anxiety, and death anxiety
• How beliefs about death (e.g., pain, finality, or the unknown) shape our fear
• The connection between the fear of running out of time and living a rushed, anxious life
• Why unresolved trauma and childhood experiences influence our perceptions of death
• Practical steps to reframe death and embrace a life of presence and authenticity

Jess also shares powerful insights from spiritual perspectives, like Ram Dass’ documentaries on dying, and how shifting your beliefs about what happens after death can transform your fear into acceptance.

Key Takeaway: Your fear of death isn’t just about dying — it’s a reflection of how safe, aligned, and fulfilled you feel in your everyday life.

Whether you experience fleeting worries about death or are consumed by it daily, this episode offers both comforting perspectives and actionable tools to help you feel safer in your life and ultimately at peace with the inevitable.

💭 Feeling stuck in your fear? Book a 1:1 session with Jess to uncover and shift the subconscious beliefs holding you back.

In this captivating episode of Why Do I Do That?, Jess dives into the question: "Why do I feel confident until I step out of the house?" Joined by the inspiring Chloe Bromage, founder of Health Hyped and a self-proclaimed "confidence queen," they unpack the deeper reasons behind this all-too-common experience.

Key Highlights:

• The Root of the Question:
• Chloe explains how confidence at home is tied to feeling safe and in control. When we step outside, the unpredictability of the world triggers fears of judgment, rejection, and loss of control, making it less about confidence and more about safety.
• Practical Confidence-Building Tips:
• Push your comfort zone gradually—start small and build from there.
• Embody the version of yourself who has already achieved what you’re striving for.
• Learn to act despite fear—confidence isn’t the absence of fear but the willingness to keep going.
• Chloe’s Vulnerable Insights:
• Chloe shares her journey of addressing buried trauma in a life-changing session with Jess, where she discovered the roots of behaviors tied to her confidence.
• She opens up about recently leaving a relationship that seemed perfect on paper, choosing herself and showing true courage.
• Confidence and Success in Business:
• Chloe attributes her business success to confidence, trusting her intuition, and embracing imperfection.
• Overcoming the fear of failure and playing the long game are essential for achieving lasting success.

This episode offers a raw and relatable look at what it takes to step into your confidence and stay there, whether at home, in public, or in your professional life. If you’ve ever wondered why your confidence feels shaky when stepping outside, this conversation will give you the clarity and tools to tackle it head-on.

You can find Chloe Bromage here

Join Jess and Steph as they dive into the hilarious and sometimes uncomfortable world of “icks” — those sudden, sometimes random turn-offs that seem to come out of nowhere but hit hard. From the sound of revving cars and overly tight jeans to spiritual narcissists and late-night sandwiches in bed, they share their own “icks” and read submissions from listeners.

What You'll Discover:

• Why some quirks and habits give us the “ick” (and whether they should!)
• How “icks” may reveal deeper values or unresolved issues
• Tips for navigating minor turn-offs in dating with humor and introspection
• When to draw the line between playful icks and actual red flags

Laugh along and gain new insights into why certain things rub us the wrong way. Plus, find out how understanding your “icks” can lead to healthier, more self-aware relationships. Don't miss this playful yet thought-provoking episode!

In this episode of Why Do I Do That?, Jess tackles the tough question: "Why do I blame myself for everything?"

She breaks down the cycle of self-blame and introduces the idea of self-gaslighting—where we see an issue, question it, but then turn it back onto ourselves. Jess explains why so many of us, especially women in challenging or toxic relationships, fall into this trap of internalizing blame. She shares how self-blame feels like control and safety but, in reality, keeps us stuck.

By listening, you’ll learn to spot self-gaslighting patterns, understand where they come from, and discover how to break free. Jess offers clear steps for reclaiming your voice, standing up for yourself, and building healthier relationships.

This episode is a powerful wake-up call for anyone tired of carrying all the blame. If you know someone in this cycle, send them this episode—it might be the game-changer they need.

In this powerful episode of Why Do I Do That?, Jessica delves into a deeply common struggle—especially among women—the challenge of receiving help, pleasure, and even financial abundance. Drawing from her own journey, Jessica explores how many women are conditioned to prioritise others' needs, resulting in a subconscious resistance to receiving.

Jessica highlights that this struggle often stems from societal expectations, early conditioning, and past experiences. From viewing self-care and pleasure as indulgent to the belief that receiving help implies weakness, these internalized barriers can lead to burnout, resentment, and a lack of fulfillment. Jessica shares actionable steps and mindset shifts to reprogram these beliefs, breaking down societal stigmas around self-worth and boundaries.

This episode isn’t just about understanding; it’s about transformation. For those ready to embrace worthiness and open up to receiving fully in all areas of life, Jessica offers insights that inspire real, lasting change. Listen in and take a step towards reclaiming the balance between giving and receiving.

In this engaging episode of Why Do I Do That?, host Jess delves into a question many of us face: why do we feel the need to be on the attack around certain people? Whether it's a friend, a family member, or the all-too-familiar mother-in-law, Jess breaks down the triggers behind these interactions and offers insights into how to navigate them with more ease.

Jess highlights that it's natural not to like or get along with everyone, but things become tricky when we can't easily distance ourselves from these individuals. Through personal anecdotes and client stories, Jess explores how certain people remind us of unresolved issues from our past, often evoking childhood dynamics. She introduces powerful self-inquiry tools like asking, "Who do they remind you of?" and "What part of me are they bringing out?" These questions help uncover deeper reasons behind our reactions, enabling us to heal and coexist with those who push our buttons.

By shifting from an attack mode to curiosity, Jess encourages listeners to look inward and ask: what is the threat I feel, and is it real? She also shares practical tips, like the disarming “airhead response,” which neutralises conflict and shifts the burden of the argument back to the other person. With humour and wisdom, Jess emphasises that healing is not about cutting people off, but rather about understanding the parts of ourselves that others trigger.

Whether you're navigating difficult relationships or simply want to learn how to be less reactive, this episode is packed with valuable advice that will leave you feeling empowered to handle even the most challenging interactions. Tune in for an insightful, transformative discussion!

In this episode of Why Do I Do That?, Jess dives into the all-too-familiar question: "Why do we say nothing is wrong when something definitely is?" This conversation is packed with insightful reflections, relatable experiences, and actionable advice for anyone who has ever found themselves shutting down when they really want to speak up.

Jess breaks down the complex reasons behind this common behaviour, particularly in relationships. She explores how many of us, especially women, have the expectation that our partners should just know what's wrong without us saying a word. But as Jess reveals, expecting someone to be a mind reader can be a sign of deeper communication struggles. She walks us through the importance of recognising our inability to communicate effectively, and how we often project this onto our partners, accusing them of poor communication when we're struggling with the same issues.

Jess also sheds light on a powerful realization: sometimes, we don’t even know what’s wrong ourselves. She shares her personal journey of learning to slow down, tap into her feelings, and identify the root of her emotional reactions.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone who has ever felt the need to protect themselves instead of connecting with their partner. Jess offers a compassionate guide to breaking these cycles and building healthier, more open communication. If you've ever said, "I'm fine" when you weren't, this episode will resonate deeply—and might just be the key to unlocking more honest and fulfilling relationships.

Tune in to this powerful conversation, and share it with anyone who needs to hear it.

In this episode of *Why Do I Do That?*, Jess dives deep into a question that resonates with many: Why do I find myself stuck in my masculine energy and struggle to embrace my feminine side?

Jess reveals the critical reasons behind this imbalance and how it impacts your life—from reproductive issues and burnout to relationship dynamics. Discover why staying in your masculine might feel safer but is holding you back from true fulfillment. She unpacks how trauma and societal pressures shape our energy and shares actionable insights to help you achieve a harmonious balance.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

- **The core differences** between masculine and feminine energies.

- **Why women often default to masculine energy** and the hidden traumas behind it.

- **Practical tips** for integrating more feminine flow into your life, even if you’re entrenched in your masculine.

Jess’s personal journey and professional expertise shed light on the transformative power of balancing these energies. Don’t miss out on this empowering episode that offers a pathway to a more balanced, fulfilling life.

Tune in and start your journey towards balance today! 🌟✨

Are you stuck in a cycle of body shame and then binge eating? In this powerful episode of *Why Do I Do That?*, Jess dives deep into the self-destructive patterns many women face—feeling terrible about their bodies and then turning to binge eating as a way to cope. Discover why this cycle isn't just about the binge eating itself, but about the deeper issue of low self-worth. Jess unpacks how societal pressures, past experiences, and toxic self-talk keep us trapped in this vicious cycle.

Learn about the vibrational match between your feelings and food choices, and find out how shifting your self-perception can transform your eating habits. Jess provides actionable tips to break free from the cycle, including practical advice on improving your self-worth and nurturing a healthier mindset. If you or someone you know is caught in this cycle, tune in to start a journey towards self-love and lasting change.

Don’t miss this enlightening episode—share it with a friend who needs to hear it and take the first step towards a more empowered, vibrant you!

In this compelling episode, Jess dives deep into a powerful question: *Why am I so afraid to share my traumatic experiences?* This episode unpacks the intense emotions and fears that hold us back from speaking our truth.

Jess explores the emotional weight of making trauma real by vocalising it. From the fear of not being believed to the potential fallout with loved ones, she addresses the core anxieties that come with revealing our personal pain. Through her own experiences, Jess sheds light on the complex dynamics of family and personal trauma, emphasising the importance of strategic and thoughtful disclosure.

Drawing from her own journey, Jess illustrates how confronting these fears can lead to profound personal growth and empowerment. She recounts the mixed reactions she faced, from supportive messages to harsh criticisms, and how embracing her truth empowered her to continue advocating for herself and others.

If you've ever hesitated to speak up about your experiences or struggled with the repercussions of doing so, this episode is a must-listen. Jess offers insightful advice on navigating these challenging waters and finding your voice amidst adversity. Tune in to discover how acknowledging and confronting these fears can lead to healing and a renewed sense of self.

Don’t miss this transformative conversation—listen now and share it with anyone who needs a dose of courage and inspiration! 🌟

In this riveting episode of *Why Do I Do That?*, we tackle a question that haunts many: why do we keep going back to an ex? Jess dives deep into this recurring struggle, unpacking the psychological and emotional factors that drive us to revisit past relationships, even when we know they aren't good for us.

Discover the three core reasons behind this cycle:

1. **Fear of Being Alone:** Learn how a deep-seated fear of loneliness can push us back into the arms of someone who doesn't serve our well-being.

2. **Comfort in Familiarity:** Understand why we gravitate towards what’s familiar, even if it’s toxic, and how this comfort can cloud our judgment.

3. **The Illusion of Change:** Explore how hope and delusion can lead us to believe that things will be different this time, despite a history of disappointment.

Jess shares personal insights and practical advice on breaking this cycle, including the importance of addressing underlying emotional wounds and understanding trauma bonds. If you or someone you know struggles with breaking free from a harmful relationship pattern, this episode offers invaluable perspectives and actionable steps to create healthier, more fulfilling connections.

Tune in and break free from the cycle. Your path to self-discovery and healing starts here. 🎧✨

In Episode 16 of Why Do I Do That?, hosts dive into the topic of why some people crave extensive alone time and the underlying reasons behind this need.

They discuss how individual differences, from personality types to stress levels, play a role in our need for solitude. The episode explores various perspectives, including the impact of trauma, energy drains from certain people, and the importance of understanding one's energy leaks.

The hosts emphasise that craving alone time isn't inherently wrong but can indicate a need for recharging or dealing with energy-draining situations. They suggest evaluating whether solitude is a protective measure against unsafe feelings or a reaction to certain social dynamics.

The discussion also touches on the balance between alone time and connection, advocating for leaning into relationships when needed and addressing personal boundaries.

Listeners are encouraged to assess their energy levels, the quality of their interactions, and their lifestyle choices to better understand and manage their need for solitude. The episode wraps up with insights on using self-awareness and communication to navigate personal energy and enhance overall well-being.

In this episode of "Why Do I Do That?", Jess & guest Stephy J, dive into the intriguing question: "Why do I find the nice guys boring?"

They explore how toxic relationships can skew our perceptions, making stability seem dull.

Discover how past experiences and societal expectations might be colouring your view of what’s exciting in a relationship. Learn how to break free from the chase of drama and embrace the fulfilling calm of a healthy partnership.

With tips on abundance dating and nervous system work, this episode offers actionable advice to help you shift from seeking excitement to finding genuine connection.

Tune in to transform your love life and open up to the joys of dating someone who treats you well ;)

Ever wondered if being a single mom is a dating dealbreaker? 🤔 Join us in this eye-opening episode as Jess chats with her partner Gav, who brings a refreshing perspective to this often feared topic. We dive into a question many of my single mom followers have asked: “Does having kids make dating harder?”

Gav shares his candid thoughts on how past experiences shape our dating views and how societal pressures often create outdated stereotypes. From our own journey of blending families to the benefits of being upfront about your situation, this episode challenges the old-school stigma and highlights the evolving landscape of relationships.

Tune in to discover why having kids shouldn’t be a barrier but rather a unique aspect of your dating profile that can attract the right kind of partner.

Plus, get insights on how embracing your role as a mum with confidence can change the dating game entirely.

Ready to shift your mindset? Listen now and reshape your dating narrative! 💫

Unraveling the Intricacies of Infidelity

Welcome to episode 12 of Why Do I Do That? In this captivating episode, we dive deep into the loaded and controversial question: "Why do I cheat, even when I feel really bad afterwards?" Join us as we explore the multifaceted nature of infidelity with our insightful guest, Steph J.

Steph's knee-jerk reaction to this question leads us into the realm of shadow work, where we uncover the hidden desires and suppressed emotions that might drive someone to cheat. Through personal anecdotes and professional insights, we discuss how deep-seated needs and unconscious patterns play a crucial role in this behavior.

We'll take you through real-life scenarios, shedding light on how trauma recreation and unmet desires for passion and aliveness can push individuals towards infidelity. You'll hear about a fascinating case study from the Ashley Madison documentary, revealing that many cheaters still love their partners but seek something missing in their lives—often a sense of excitement and vitality.

This episode isn't just about understanding why people cheat; it's about offering a compassionate and curious perspective on these behaviors. We discuss the importance of self-awareness, radical honesty, and integrating different parts of our personalities to lead more fulfilling lives.

Whether you're grappling with similar questions or seeking to understand human behavior better, this episode is a must-listen. Join us for an enlightening conversation that blends psychological insights with practical advice, helping you navigate the complexities of human relationships.

In Episode 11 of "Why Do I Do That?", we dive deep into an issue that affects many of us: prioritising others' opinions over our own. Our host is joined by Stephy J, a fellow expert in the healing industry, to explore this pervasive question. This episode promises not just a casual chat between friends, but a transformative conversation that blends education with heartfelt insights.

Discover why we often seek external validation and how our childhood experiences shape this behavior. Steph and Jess share personal anecdotes, revealing how even as adults, we can struggle with the need for approval. Learn practical steps to shift from seeking validation to self-validation, fostering a healthier relationship with yourself.

This episode is perfect for anyone feeling overwhelmed by others' expectations. Steph’s compassionate approach and actionable advice offer a roadmap to reclaiming your self-worth and living authentically. Don't miss this empowering discussion that could change how you view yourself and your interactions with the world.

Tune in and start your journey towards self-acceptance and inner peace.

🔍 Key Insights:

1. Childhood Influences: Your reactions to noise might mirror how your parents reacted. If you were told to be quiet as a child, you're likely to tell your kids the same.
2. Nervous System Overload: Chronic stress weakens your vagus nerve, shrinking your window of tolerance for everyday stressors. This makes you more prone to fight-or-flight responses over minor triggers.

💡 Transformative Solutions:

• Heal Your Nervous System: Learn simple techniques to strengthen your vagus nerve and expand your window of tolerance.
• Lifestyle Adjustments: Cut out stimulants like caffeine and rethink those true crime podcasts that keep you on edge.

Discover practical steps to reclaim your calm and handle life’s chaos with ease. For a quick eye movement technique to soothe your nervous system, check out my social media.

🔗 Share the Wisdom: Know someone struggling with overstimulation and burnout? Share this episode with them and help spread the calm.

To work with, learn from or get in contact with Jess, use the link below:

https://linktr.ee/jessellaainsworth

In Episode 9 of "Why Do I Do That?", we dive into the common dilemma many women face: Why do we often hyper-focus on the negatives in our loving partners? Jess uncovers the psychology behind this behaviour, identifying three key reasons: protection, projection, and a misplaced need for drama.

1. Protection: We may fixate on flaws as a defense mechanism to shield ourselves from potential future hurt. This backward logic helps us feel prepared for any eventual disappointment, even though it doesn't truly prevent pain.
2. Projection: Often, the traits we criticize in our partners mirror our own insecurities or unacknowledged aspects of ourselves. Understanding this can lead to greater self-awareness and improved relationship dynamics.
3. Misinterpreted Boredom: After toxic relationships, the stability of a healthy relationship can feel "boring." This can trigger a subconscious urge to create chaos, mistaking peace for stagnation.

The episode also emphasises the importance of healing both individually and within a relationship. Our host explains how secure relationships provide a safe space to address and heal relational wounds, contrasting the supportive behaviour of a secure partner with the detrimental patterns of insecure attachments.

Don't miss this deep dive into relational psychology, filled with actionable insights and practical advice for anyone looking to enhance their love life. For a more comprehensive guide, check out the Love Wounds program mentioned in the episode.

Share this episode with friends who need a fresh perspective on their relationships, and join us next time for more enlightening discussions!

To work with, learn from or get in contact with Jess, use the link below:

https://linktr.ee/jessellaainsworth

Why do I never follow through with things? Are you guilty of signing up for a course only to never watch it? Or perhaps you've paid for a gym membership, went once, and never returned? This episode is tailor-made for you. Join Jess as she delves into a common yet crippling issue that touches all aspects of life: the inability to follow through.

🔍 What You'll Discover:

1. The Root of Self-Sabotage: Understand why your conscious goals are often sabotaged by subconscious beliefs. Jess explains the powerful dynamic between your conscious and subconscious mind, shedding light on why your initial excitement fades into inertia.
2. Breaking the Shame Spiral: Learn how self-blame and shame are not just unproductive but are actually more damaging than you realise. Jess discusses the vibrational frequencies of emotions, revealing how shame can trap you in a cycle of inaction.
3. Harnessing Curiosity Over Criticism: Discover how to replace self-criticism with curiosity. This shift in perspective can keep you from sinking into negative thought patterns and empower you to stay on track with your goals.
4. Aligning Beliefs with Desires: Jess emphasises the importance of aligning your subconscious beliefs with your conscious desires. She shares practical tips on reprogramming your mind to support your goals, making them not just possible but inevitable.
5. The Power of Knowing Your Why: Get clear on why you want what you want. Jess explains how a strong, positive reason behind your goals can make the journey not just bearable but enjoyable, transforming your approach from a push to a pull.
6. Practical Examples & Personal Stories: From gym memberships to business decisions, Jess shares relatable stories and experiences, illustrating how aligning values with actions can lead to lasting success.
7. Building Self-Trust: Learn how to cultivate a deep level of self-trust. Jess provides actionable advice on how to listen to your body and intuition to make decisions that feel right, rather than forcing yourself into situations that drain your energy.
8. Integration & Discipline: Discover the importance of integration and discipline in achieving your goals. Jess teaches you how to stay committed with a curious mind, observing the narratives that arise without letting them derail your progress.

🎧 Tune In and Transform Your Life: If you’ve ever struggled with following through, this episode is a must-listen. Jess’s insights and practical tips will help you break free from self-sabotage and create a life where you consistently achieve what you set out to do. Share this episode with someone who needs it—yes, even if they might be a bit offended. They’ll thank you later!

To work with, learn from or get in contact with Jess, use the link below:

https://linktr.ee/jessellaainsworth

Unlocking the Mystery of Repressed Memories

Welcome back to another compelling episode of "Why Do I Do That?" This week, Jess delves into one of the most intriguing and complex listener questions yet: "Why can't I remember my childhood?"

In this episode, Jess explores the layers behind memory recall and what it means when we can't remember our early years. You'll discover that it's perfectly normal to only have a few vivid memories from each year of your life. Jess explains how these memories typically surface only when relevant, painting a picture of how our brain prioritises information.

But what about those who have large, unexplained gaps in their memory? Jess breaks down the concept of repressed memories, a topic she's deeply familiar with from her personal and professional experience. Learn how repressed memories can manifest as fragmented, elusive "edges" of a memory and why our brains might hide these experiences from us.

Jess also sheds light on the distinction between repressed and suppressed memories, and how each impacts our mental health. With vivid examples, she describes how the brain stores traumatic memories in a way that can make them feel fresh and immediate when they resurface, often leaving us confused and overwhelmed.

For those struggling with unexplainable feelings of depression or anxiety, Jess provides invaluable insights into identifying potential repressed memories. She shares touching stories from her clients and her own life, illustrating the profound impact of betrayal trauma—where those meant to protect us are the ones causing harm.

Jess discusses the critical role of safety in uncovering these hidden memories and how feeling secure can make all the difference in the healing process. You'll learn practical strategies to build self-trust and prepare your mind to face and process these difficult memories.

Don't miss this eye-opening episode that not only answers your questions about childhood amnesia but also offers hope and guidance for those on a journey to uncover and heal from their past. Join Jess as she navigates the delicate balance between protecting ourselves and facing our truths, offering a beacon of light for anyone struggling with the shadows of forgotten memories.

To work with, learn from or get in contact with Jess, use the link below:

https://linktr.ee/jessellaainsworth

Welcome to episode six of "Why Do I Do That?" where Jess dives deep into the pervasive and distressing belief many women face: "Why does no one like me?"

In this eye-opening episode, Jess unravels the root of this common concern, explaining how childhood experiences shape core beliefs and influence adult perceptions.

Discover the transformative power of belief work as Jess shares compelling client stories and practical strategies to shift negative mindsets.

Learn how to harness your thoughts and perceptions to foster genuine connections and cultivate a positive self-view.

If you or someone you know struggles with feelings of unworthiness, this episode is a must-listen. Share it, embrace it, and start your journey toward self-acceptance today.

To work with, learn from or get in contact with Jess, use the link below:

https://linktr.ee/jessellaainsworth

Welcome back to "Why Do I Do That?"

In this episode, we're diving deep into a compelling and often misunderstood phenomenon: the addiction to healing. If you find yourself constantly seeking the next self-help book, therapy session, or healing modality, you're not alone. This episode uncovers the three critical reasons behind this endless cycle of self-improvement, and how to break free from it.

Key Highlights:

1. Unconscious Validation of Not Being Enough:

• Discover how the relentless pursuit of healing often stems from an underlying belief that you are fundamentally broken or not enough.
• Learn why continually seeking new healing methods can trap you in a loop of self-doubt and perceived inadequacy.

1. The Trap of Intellectualising Healing:

• Explore how overanalysing your thoughts and emotions can lead to bypassing the essential process of truly feeling and releasing your trauma.
• Hear personal insights and professional advice on how to stop intellectualizing and start genuinely experiencing and processing your emotions.

1. Addiction to Chaos and the Healing Identity:

• Understand why some people unconsciously seek out constant healing to relive and retell their trauma stories, keeping themselves in a state of chaos.
• Jess shares her own journey of breaking free from this cycle and finding a new, joy-filled identity beyond trauma.

Special Offer:

Curious about how to move through the stages of healing effectively? Jess introduces her transformative workshop, Self-Mastery. This 2.5-hour session delves into the stages of healing, providing practical tools to navigate them smoothly. Learn how to achieve emotional balance and embrace the ultimate stage of healing—surrender and joy.

Listen Now

Don't miss this enlightening episode that promises to shift your perspective on healing and self-improvement. Share it with friends and family who might need to hear this crucial message, and take the first step towards a more balanced, fulfilling life.

By addressing these aspects with relatable anecdotes and expert advice, Jess not only captivates the audience but also offers tangible solutions to transform their healing journey. Tune in and discover how to break free from the addiction to healing and truly enjoy life to its fullest.

Follow this link for ways to work with, learn from or get in contact with Jess

https://linktr.ee/jessellaainsworth

Join Jess as she unravels the psychological and emotional threads that bind our fears of illness to the ticking clock. We'll explore how our subconscious mind shapes our perceptions of mortality and influences our everyday actions.

Discover strategies to reframe your thinking, sit with uncomfortable emotions, embrace the present moment, and truly live life to the fullest

Follow this link for ways to work with, learn from or get in contact with Jess

https://linktr.ee/jessellaainsworth

Join us as we delve into why you do it, where it comes from, and, most importantly, how to break the cycle and put your needs first.

Follow this link for ways to work with, learn from or get in contact with Jess

https://linktr.ee/jessellaainsworth

Discover practical strategies to break free from the cycle of emotional and binge eating, empowering you to take control of your relationship with food. Whether you struggle with late-night cravings or find comfort in snacks during stressful times, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable tips to help understand why & break the cycle.

Follow this link for ways to work with, learn from or get in contact with Jess

https://linktr.ee/jessellaainsworth

TRIGGER WARNING

This story comes with a trigger warning for childhood sexual abuse.

Although Jess includes trigger warnings when relevant, she also deeply believes that our triggers are information about where we still need to heal

Follow this link for ways to work with, learn from or get in contact with Jess

https://linktr.ee/jessellaainsworth